


Lorelei

by thebitchesofdathomir



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Baby Fic, Balance of the force type of vibe, But yet the tears are a flowing, Childbirth, Devoted Reylo, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, First Order-esque torture, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hux is naughty, I feel like I should say it's dark, I hate me too, I promised myself I wouldn't cry, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kidnapping, Poe's got issues, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Protective Ben Solo, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo, Secret Relationship, That's Not How The Force Works, That's not how babies work, That's not how writing works, The Knights are not nice in this story, The Knights of Ren: "This is my torture chamber. Welcome:)", Unplanned Pregnancy, actually a lot of intense situations, ben is a good dad, fight me, occasional intense situation that might stress you out, wildly inaccurate depictions of childbirth and child care in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-07-02 02:25:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 44
Words: 218,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebitchesofdathomir/pseuds/thebitchesofdathomir
Summary: When Rey becomes pregnant, it changes everything for her and Ben who have kept their relationship a secret over the past two years. When things don't go to plan, their small family is endangered once they discover Hux has devised a plan of his own.





	1. Prologue

After Crait, the absence of the bond dominates his mind. He felt so hollow that even the vacancy of Snoke felt strange. For the first time, maybe in his life, his mind was truly his own. Everything was so eerily quiet.  


He hated it.

It left him to his own thoughts that he could not fight off anymore. He tried to suppress them though, believing he could conquer it. It was only pain.

He could surely come to forget her in the same way she seemed to have forgotten him. The connection that lasted so briefly would not break him.  
  
The several months following filled with thoughts of regret and silent agony only proved to him the emptiness would persist.  
  
He doesn't ever remember feeling this lonely before. Perhaps because now he knew what he was missing. He missed the company of someone who understood him the way no one else ever had. It makes him think all too often of that night, after her fall in the cave. She had told him that she had never felt so alone, now it was his turn.

Even with the galaxy at his disposal, it taught him a new kind of solitude. It took the form of power and everything that anyone could ever want but stole his desire for them until it all blurred together to look like her.

His mind always was his worst tormentor.  

He saw the shape of her appear to him everywhere. The brief existence of the bond between them mocking him at every turn. As if she were a ghost, a shadow, a memory. Always out of reach, never really there.  
  
And everyone calls him Kylo Ren and he nearly shudders every time, nauseated by the sound of it. It is a daily struggle to conceal the toll his body takes just hearing that name, knowing it belongs to him. He owns the name as much as the actions he's committed under the identity. He cannot escape it. It is another one of his many cells in an endless jail. 

The memory of how his other name sounded on her lips occupies his thoughts daily. He doesn’t know if he could even be that person, not after the things Kylo Ren has done. He felt undeserving of the name Ben but it sounded so real when she said it. Like he might have believed he was Ben again if she said it to him enough. The fact that he wants her to makes his head spin.

  
He thinks of those fleeting seconds before he opened his mouth, right after she threw the lightsaber to him. When he looked upon Snoke’s severed corpse and thought they could have everything. They could have each other. When he turned and spoke to her, he thought they could leave everything behind and make things the way they should be.

But the more he replays the scene in his head, the more he despises himself.

  
"You come from nothing. You’re nothing."  
  
He winces at those words now. It made so much sense a few months ago but now sounded so harsh and cruel. He had felt her drifting away from him moments after he thought he finally had her. He believed he could show her how powerful she was. They could have ruled the galaxy side by side.  Only she didn't want that and he couldn't let her go. He said things he shouldn't have.  
  
He sees now his mistakes.  To possess something doesn't make a person something. He had power and the galaxy at his fingertips but it was meaningless. Rey was already powerful and wise. She didn’t need the galaxy to be that way. Rey didn't need him. She was never _nothing_.  
  
The words haunted him regardless, keeping him from sleep. The tortured thoughts blaring through his mind was only stalled by the agonizing silence that consumed him for days at a time.  Sleep offered no rest, he woke up feeling tired. Food offered no flavor, nor did he feel hunger. He didn’t even feel anger anymore, just emptiness. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren was the shell of whoever he was inside. The prison he had made for himself suffocating him at every turn.   
  
The days drag on until one night he feels something familiar drift past his mind. It moves slowly over him as it fades into the force.

It was Leia.

It was his mother. She was dying. His heartbeat pounding in his ears as the realization dawns on him. He sits up in his bed and tries to reach out, but she is too far, “Mom?”  
  
Suddenly years of pain and anguish, unsaid apologies and love seem to flood his insides until his body collapses from the weight of his soul. He feels her pass through him, expecting to feel her disappointment. However, the only disappointment is the one she feels in herself.  He feels her understanding wash over him and it feels so much worse than the resentment he expected. It almost felt like forgiveness.

He had ruined so much, hurt her so much. He was the monster Rey accused him to be, thinking back to the night he killed his father. The night he had tried to succumb to the physical pain, to drown in it and make himself stronger. He couldn’t though and his injuries were forgotten as he thought only of his father’s face.  
  
That’s how he feels now. His mother’s eyes fill his mind and it rips away at him. Years of built-up emotions crashing into him all at once. Maybe he will drown and it will kill him. If it does then this would finally all be over. But that is a punishment too swift for him. Instead, he is tormented.  Memories of himself as a boy with his mother.  
  
Moments in the library when she would tell him about her home of Alderaan. She would show him old holos of its scenery. She would talk about the view from Appenza Peak, eyes a little dazed in her sentiments.  

He would watch as she braided her hair at her vanity and spoke about how different braids symbolize different things. And then as he got older how the unbraiding of hair was as meaningful as the braids themselves. His cheeks had turned red and he pretended the conversation never happened while he went back to his room.

She would tell him everything about his grandparents that she missed dearly, Bail and Breha Organa. How much they loved her and supported her and raised her to be strong-willed and courageous. He remembers wondering then what Leia was raising him to be because he didn’t feel strong or confident. He felt scared and weak constantly.

At least that’s what the scary voice in his head made him feel like.  
  
He thought of nights when he would wake from the whispers and pains in his head. Sometimes she wasn’t home and he would lie in bed crying until he fell back asleep, wishing she was there. Other times she would rush to his room to tell him everything was fine although it wasn’t. She would hold him until he pushed her away, wishing she would leave.  
  
Then he remembers one day when Han left again. Always so restless, never able to sit still for long. He had been about thirteen years old and he unloaded everything onto his mother. His rage coming to the surface and confronting her truly for the first time. The first time that he saw her eyes look back at him in real fear. The first time she looked at him like he was not her son.

* * *

  
  
_Ben stormed back to his room with tears in his eyes. He paces back and forth, trying to keep his sobs within him. He doesn’t want to cry for his father, not anymore. He releases his frustrations with clenching his fists, hoping the force of it would break something but instead he heard several inkwells on his desk shatter in his outburst. He gasps, rushing over to see some of his papers ruined. This isn’t what he wanted. His drawings of the girl from his dreams are swallowed up by bleeding ink. He feels tears fall as her face is lost to him._  
  
_Her._  
  
_The girl who wandered the endless sands and had no name. She was from the dreams that kept the voices and nightmares at bay. She kept him safe when no one else could._  
  
_He feels his mother approach. She knocks but he ignores it, trying to salvage whatever remains of his work drenched in dark ink. He hears the door creak open anyway. She stood at the entrance to his room. He doesn’t bother hiding his tears, she already knows he’s crying. It was situations like this he cursed the force that ran through them. She could sense too much and it was inconvenient at his more vulnerable moments._  
  
_“He loves you, you know. He’ll come back. He always does,” she says in that voice he hates. The voice she uses when she thinks he’s overreacting. She probably grew tired of assuring him when Ben should know by now that his father came and went. Ben just had to accept it._  
  
_He glared at her. He couldn’t believe her anymore. Even if the lies were also for herself, he didn’t want to hear them, “He only comes back to remind himself he doesn’t want to be here!” he says through his teeth._  
  
_“Ben!” she scolded him._  
  
_His fists clench again and he can feel how the floor shakes. His anger shaking the furniture of his room as if it seethes along with him, sharing his fury. He thinks if he lets it go any further they might splinter into a million little pieces, “And I don’t want him to be here anyway. There’s no reason for him to come back and pretend he missed us just to jump back in that kriffing ship!”_  
  
_“Ben Solo!” she starts to scold him but he shouts over her. Her eyes go wide, looking between him and the aggressive vibrations of the room. She looks terrified as if she thinks he might hurt her._  
_  
__“And if you think sending me to Luke's stupid school will 'fix' me you're fucking delusional!” he pushes past her and runs off, the loud thud of the furniture crashing back down to the floor makes his mother scream. He ignores the angry shouts of his name as he flies out the door. He doesn’t stop running until he’s surrounded only by silence. He is finally alone..._

* * *

  
He falls to his knees as the memory fades.  He was alone then just as he is alone now and it hurts. The impressions his mother left behind are too much. As much as he felt hurt by her, he had hurt her too. He tries to reach out. He tries to say he’s sorry but he can’t find her anymore. She’s gone.  
  
He can’t breathe. Almost like the oxygen was cut off from his room.  His mind is racing, nothing coherent. Images of him screaming at his mother are only interrupted by images of him embraced in her arms. Anger and love. Back and forth. The best and the worst just taunting him. It seems to go on forever. It drains out everything else. He can’t hold on anymore.

He is truly empty now.

He doesn't even know who he is but knows he is unworthy of a name. If he has nothing then he is nothing. He always was.  
  
  
  
_Rey_ , his mind manages. He doesn’t know why it sounds so clear, but it does. Her name repeats in his mind and it calms him in a way. Like when he saw her in his dreams as a boy, looking how she did when he first met her. Something he still isn’t sure is possible but knows well enough now that it was always Rey. The face he had spent so long thinking of, trying to remember her in sleep so he could preserve her on paper when he woke up. The same face he had forgotten until he met her on Takodana.  
  
He feels a familiar thrum in the force. It isn’t his mother though, it’s _her_. He doesn’t want to believe it. It’s the same feeling he’s felt for months only to find out it was all in his mind. It was never her. She was never there. He shuts his eyes tight and tries to go back to drowning but then he hears a name, “Ben?”

His eyes open but he doesn’t turn. If he turns and she’s not there, he’ll just break further. As he should, he needs to break, he deserves it. After all this time, hoping she would come to him, he doesn't want her to see him now. She hasn’t appeared to him since that day on Crait. The same day she ran away, leaving him breathing on the floor. Another thought that had kept him up night after night. She didn’t kill him when she could have. _Should have,_ he thinks.  
  
“Ben,” this time closer, no longer a question. The hair on the back of his neck stands up. She sounds broken too. Her voice cracking and nose sniffling. He wants so bad to turn around but his body doesn’t let him. He doesn’t answer. He has to wait for it to go away. He will endure this punishment like all the rest as it slowly kills him. This is how he deserves to die.  
  
But then something lands on his shoulder. He looks down to see a small hand. There’s callouses on the pads of her fingers, the same fingers that brushed against his all those months ago. Somehow still soft and warm and undoubtedly her. His eyes trace the hand to the arm, trailing up until they meet her teary gaze. She’s here, “Rey?”  

Her hair is down. He’s never seen it all down before and as he gasps from the sight of her.   
  
Her eyes are red and she’s trembling much like he is. “Did you feel her?” she asks in a hushed voice. He nods, not looking away from her eyes.  
  
“Were you with her?” he asks.  
  
Her head shakes. “I didn’t know she was sick. If I did, I would have been with her... I would’ve tried to tell you, I promise,” she sobs. Rey would have wanted him to know, understanding without words what that would mean to him.  Suddenly, the desire to pull her into his arms is overwhelming. He wants so badly to just hold on to her until they have nothing left to cry. He doesn’t know how to comfort though. Even if he did, she wouldn’t want that from him.  
  
But she does.  
  
She steps forward and wraps her arms around him, his eyes going wide. Her face pressed into his shoulder and he feels her tears against his skin. He remains stiff for a moment before he wraps his arms around her body, pulling her closer to him. She fits against him like she was meant to be there and he presses his face into her hair.  
  
The last time someone hugged him it had been his mother. It seemed like a lifetime ago as she held him before she left him at Luke’s academy. He hadn’t returned the embrace and let his arms hang loosely at his sides as he refused to say goodbye to her, too angry to even look at her.  But now Rey holds him and he holds her and he understands now why his mother tried so hard to hug him, the warmth it provides. He wishes so badly he had hugged her back that day. He wishes he could remember the weight of her arms around him. He knows now he won’t ever again have the chance.  
  
He sobs into Rey’s shoulder and she runs her hands along his back, his neck, his hair. Her hands are so small but they keep him in one piece somehow. She whispers soft words of comfort to him. Words he never would have listened to before but now wants to believe so badly. She keeps him safe from himself and he keeps waiting for it to end. 

Only she doesn’t move away. She holds him close, anchoring his body to hers. Closer than he’s ever been to another person. Completely saturated in her light that latches on to him and binds him where he was most fractured. At the moment when he thought he was the most fragmented, Rey holds him tighter and he doesn’t break after all.  He is put back together.

* * *

  
  
Leia smiles as she watches her son hold Rey. True, they are sobbing and yes, it was because of her, but Leia could hardly recall a time when she felt more at ease. She knows she has passed, but it seemed like the light had breached through the dark clouds of her son’s mind and he’s finally woken back up.  
  
Ben.

  
In the force there is a sense of peace she didn’t think was possible, but it was there all the same. She could not see clearly enough for all that lied before them, but she knew this point in time was so critical to her son’s life, and Rey’s. Their true paths forever intertwined. _Braided together_ , she likes to think. She knows it is the catalyst of a moment that will spark the new beginning for them. They still had a long ways to go and they both knew that. There was still much left unsaid that needed to be shared. But they would figure it out and this moment solidified all of that. It will lead them to balance, happiness and love. All the things she’s always wanted for Ben. All the things she knows Rey has always deserved. 

And she smiles as she sees ahead far enough to know it would soon lead them to their family. 

 


	2. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey reveals something to Ben and it changes everything.

Two years later

 

Although he was still the Supreme Leader, Ben had decided to remain in more modest arrangements. He never liked the gilded extravagance that Snoke shrouded himself in. He didn’t want a throne room or massive quarters or gold robes and creepy slippers. He shudders at the mental image of himself in such a wardrobe.

Anything that reminded him of his title as Supreme Leader only made him ache. It was not a title he wanted to advertise though he knew was necessary if it meant this whole mess of a galaxy was untangled one day.

For now, however, his surroundings are of little interest to him. Ben was pacing back and forth in his private quarters. The durasteel walls and floors around him did nothing to soothe his thoughts. His mind tumbled and his stomach turned as he fretted.

He can only think of _her_. Of Rey.

This would be the second night in a row that she had not appeared to him. Much too long. It didn’t help that the last time he saw her she was ill, vomiting in the fresher.  He had kissed the nape of her neck and braided her hair back in case it happened again.

She insisted she was fine, claiming she had just eaten something disagreeable the night before. He had believed her then, hoping she would feel better. 

But now he wasn’t so sure. He had grown accustomed to seeing her multiple times a day and it had been a while since the bond was dormant for this long. Ben was starting to worry that Rey might be keeping her mind closed off on purpose.

He wishes he had pressed for details last time. If he asked her what she ate he could investigate a little more.

What if she had been poisoned? What if she caught some sort of sickness that required treatment the Resistance couldn’t provide? His worried thoughts consumed him as he continued to erode an imaginary pathway in the steel flooring.

He glanced at the holopad on his nightstand. It was getting late. He knew though that unless she appeared to him, he wouldn’t be sleeping. The night before had been hard enough to even manage a few hours. He had grown so accustomed to having her beside him.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands, running his fingers through his hair. His frantic thoughts escalate to be more ridiculous with the passing moments.

Another half hour passes before he finally felt that familiar brush of her mind against his. He called out to her desperately, “Rey?” he jumped to his feet but couldn’t see her.

“I’m here...” He turned to see her slumped against the wall, trembling.

She was wearing an old tunic of his that stopped at her mid thighs, her usual pajamas. Her hair dusted her shoulders, cascading around her face which looked rather pale making her red eyes rather noticeable. Her arms were wrapped around her middle but she moved them swiftly away when his eyes focused on them. 

Ben approached her, taking her in while he slid down beside her and brought his hands to her face. His touch bringing him fully into her space. Her room at the Resistance base is smaller than his but not near as cold. He brushes her tears away with his thumbs and speaks softly to her as he tries to calm the worry still boiling within him.

“Rey?”

He could not sense the cause of her distress which drastically increased his own turmoil.  She turns slightly so her lips kiss his palm against her cheek. 

“I missed you…” she tells him so quietly. She sounds distant still. He ran one hand down her back while the other brushed through her hair and she dives into his shoulder, sobbing.

Something was very wrong.

“What’s happened, Rey? Talk to me.” He felt so foolish, so helpless. He should have tried harder to get to her earlier, “Say it. Please, let me help you.”

She takes a few deep breaths and he waits as patiently as he can, “I felt something today,” she tells him, “something I thought wasn’t possible.”

“In the force? A disturbance?” he questions instantly. She shakes her head again. Her eyes are shut tight and tears roll down her face. 

“In me,” she whispers. He looks down at her confused. She can’t seem to say what she needs to say and it’s torture for both of them. So instead she shows him.

She sits up, pulling away from his arms and getting to her feet. He moves to join her but she puts her hands on his shoulders, keeping him down. She wants him to stay where he is.

Ben is frozen still as he watches her from his knees. She unwraps the tunic until the bare skin of her sternum down to her stomach is exposed, only a thin pair of underwear covers the rest. The fabric hangs open from her shoulders and looks like a dark curtain that unveils her body.

“I want you to check, just so I’m sure…” Ben looks at her face, still not following her. The anticipation making his stomach turn. Rey reaches out, “Give me your hand.”

He puts his hand in hers and feels how cold her fingers are. They cling to his own, shaking slightly and making him desperate for any answer she will give him.

His other hand grips her thigh above the back of her knee. Partially to balance himself but mostly to keep hold of her. She presses his hand flat against her stomach keeping it steady with her own.

“Rey, I don't-,” but then he feels it.

All the air leaves his lungs. A small but brilliant light resides beneath his fingers. It is a light that he helped put there.

_Life._

They are not alone. He feels Rey brush her fingers across his cheek and she smiles sadly at him. His heart feels full and his chest is too tight to keep from bursting. The full force of the life growing within her surrounding him. 

“You feel it?” she asks, tears streaming down her face. He nods staring at her stomach in shock, in _fear_.

He stands up in front of her and they lock eyes, “A baby?” he whispers. His voice shaky and afraid. 

Rey's lip trembled before she lets out a sob and crashes into his chest. He holds her there tight and buries his face in her hair. He could hardly manage any coherent thoughts and he understands why it was so difficult for Rey to tell him. This hardly seems real.

“I went to the med bay today. I decided to go since I kept getting sick in the mornings. I had prior appointments but I never went because nothing was wrong, I thought I was fine. I've always been able to gauge what was going on with my body before and I don't like going to the medbay anyway." Ben knows what she means. He doesn't like sitting in those cold and stiff rooms and being prodded at by medical droids.

"But the droid told me that my implant expired two months ago before he gave me a new one,” she gestures to her bicep. Ben runs his thumb past her arm, the sleeve of his tunic concealing where the new one had been administered.

"He asked me if I wanted a test, claiming I could be pregnant if I had _been_ with anyone recently but I just ran off to my room before he could do anything,” she took a moment to breathe, “I reached out for myself to see what I could find...and I felt this,” she covers her abdomen with her hand again and her tears run down with a new vengeance.

“I knew you could check and then we’d know for sure but the bond had been acting strange, probably because I’m acting strange and I was worried I wouldn’t see you-” she’s almost frantic as her he pulls her into him, trying to calm her in a way his words cannot.

“Rey, the bond is fine. It might have just been adjusting to the change.” She takes in his words and nods slowly. She tries to steady her breathing before she looks back up at him.

“What are we supposed to do?”  she asks him, her voice so afraid.

At first, he doesn’t know. What could they possibly do? They were still at war. He was still the Supreme Leader. Things were progressing but still delicate. If anyone knew about them it would put them all in terrible danger.

They only see each other through the force or when they can escape unnoticed and meet planetside somewhere, much like they did about a month ago on Derilyn.  

It must have been then, Ben realizes, that he got Rey pregnant. Meeting secretly on random planets was the best hope they had to see each other, truly face to face. But it wasn’t ideal for a typical relationship and much less practical for a child to be brought into.

Ben felt a surge of dread rush through him. He doesn't know how to be a father. Snippets of his own dad run through his mind. None so chilling as his final memory of him on that bridge when Ben had murdered him. Guilt and despair pass through him as he thinks of this child having to live with the burdens of their father.

But then he imagines what this child might look like. How lovely they would look held in Rey's arms. She would be an amazing mother, he already knows. The dreamlike vision of their family fills his mind and he gasps at the radiance of it all. He holds on to the image and it burrows deep into his heart.

Instantly, Ben knows what he wants.

He wanted to keep it. The light that grew within Rey that so bright and still so small. He wanted to protect it, to hold it, and to love it. He would do anything to ensure their baby could live a happy life. A life where their child could be safe from the nightmares and hardships they both faced in their youth.  

He would do whatever Rey wanted though, it was her decision. “What do you want to do, Rey?” he asked, wondering if she could feel his thoughts or if she was still lost in her own.

“I know what we should do. I know what the rational solution is, given the galaxy is at war...we’re at war,” she said closing her eyes. A few more tears escaped her eyes and Ben felt his heart breaking. He took her face in his hands, guiding her eyes to look at him.

He doesn’t want to hear about what they should do anymore.

“Rey, what do you _want_?” he asked again, heavier than before. Her gaze seems to clear of grief as she stares back at him. As if his thoughts suddenly became clear to her and she’s relieved to feel they match her own.

“I want it. I want to keep the baby,” she breathes out and he launches forward until his lips meet hers.  He pulls her into him, feeling how she stands on the toes of his boots trying to reach him better. He lifts her up by the waist and her feet leave the ground, her face closer to his making the task at hand much easier.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” he says to her as if it were simple and not terrifying.

“How Ben? Wh-” he cuts her off with his lips again.

“I don’t know,” he says, his nose bumping into hers as he sets her back down, “But we’ll think of something,” he brushes his hand against her bare stomach once again and feels his blood quicken at the presence that resides there. Too early to tell if it was a boy or a girl, but it’s balanced and bright.

He doesn’t know how he missed it before. It’s so pure. Probably too pure considering half of it is from him.

He pulls back and looks into her eyes. Her features are scrunched up in worry and he can hear what she’s thinking. _Like what? What can we do?_ He honestly doesn’t know. All he knows is that Rey is standing in his arms, carrying their baby. That is his main concern. That is what he wants to focus on. All he wants to focus on for the rest of his life.

“Let’s not worry about it right now. This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life,” he tells her.  Rey beams up at him. She seems relieved at his words. It kills him to think that she might have spent the whole day being so frightened, that she might have been scared to tell him. As if he wouldn't feel the same. He wanted to push away all those doubts. He wanted them to savor this moment as people in love who were excited about the life they created together. He didn’t want them to be the Supreme Leader and the last Jedi. He wanted them to be Ben and Rey.

She smiled a bright beautiful smile only she could give. Despite the fear and uncertainty they felt, it was not enough to extinguish their love for the small being growing within her.  She ran her hands through his hair and kissed his scar beneath his eye. Her favorite spot he noted.

“I love you, Ben,” she whispered against his skin. He swooped back down to kiss her again. He felt her smile against his mouth and he did the same.

He carried her over to the bed across the small room laying her down gently and kicking off his boots before bracing his body over hers. He pressed kisses down her jaw, trailing them down her neck, her collar, her sternum. Further down her body until his face hovered above her stomach and Ben's own tears land on Rey’s skin.

He looked up at her to find her tears had returned as well but they were not in worry or fear like they had been before. 

He pressed his face against her abdomen and listened to the hypnotic rhythm of the life that rested there. He brushes soft kisses to her skin, _I love you,_ he says to the small being. The feeling he once hesitated for years comes so easily now without a doubt. He brushes his nose against her stomach and he can hear Rey's breath hitch.  He moves back up to her face, “I love you, Rey.”  

He thinks briefly for a moment of how much things had changed. He thinks once more to those words he said to her in the throne room and how wrong he was. How blind he had been. She would always be Rey and once he understood that, he realized he could always be Ben. They met back in the middle where they belonged. In the middle everything made sense. They had found the balance. The balance that the force itself seemed to insist they find together.

And now they were going to have a baby. A child born of love. Their love that defied their roles in the galaxy. A love strong enough that the force embraced them across the stars. Ben would do anything for the woman beneath him and the small life she carried.

In Rey’s mind, he heard her make a similar promise.

 


	3. Premonitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is confronted by a vision of her past. It shakes her confidence in herself to keep their baby safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: There is a somewhat graphic and disturbing infant death in this chapter(takes place on Jakku). 
> 
> There's also a brief mention of abortion.

It was late. By this time of the day she was usually back in the comfort of her AT-AT and eating whatever dinner she had earned.  But she had gone farther out that day, only to be disappointed by scraps that got her a measly quarter portion. While she was sulking back to her speeder, a series of screams and shouting coming from a tent with an orange glow inside. The same tent that Rey always avoided while in Niima. Now the screams of a woman blossomed out of it and it was hard to drain out.  The thought of going home in the dark felt more foolish by the moment as she walks a little faster.

Then someone shouts her name and she readies her staff, turning to see E’di. She was an older scavenger although she probably wasn’t as old as she looked. The sun and work had aged her prematurely. She wore a permanent scowl on her red wrinkled face but spoke desperately, “Rey! Come here. I need your help.” Rey didn’t move. E’di had come out of the screaming tent. She seems frantic though, almost desperate. Rey had never seen any emotions from E’di. She was always as dry as the sands themselves. So why was she like this now?

“What’s happening? Does she have the fever?” she asked backing up slightly, not wanting to get infected.

“No, she’s pregnant,” Rey backed away still, thinking pregnancy might be worse than a fever. E’di sensed her unease and held her hands out, almost like a surrender, “Rey, please. No one else will help her.”

Rey looked up to the other woman and thought for a moment before another scream pierced their ears. “Okay,” the words were hardly audible, drained out by the agony of the woman inside. E’di waved Rey over quickly and she hesitantly stepped towards the tent. She set her staff in the sand and gripped her satchel closer to her body, protecting the food and water inside. She never trusted anyone after dark. Well, actually she never trusted anyone regardless of the time of day.

E’di said nothing but gave her a look of gratitude. Jakku was unforgiving and whatever happened to you was your own fault. Which is why Rey is surprised that E’di seemed adamant about helping the crying woman inside.  No one was supposed to be concerned for anyone but themselves, so Rey suddenly felt very skittish.

She entered the tent to see a human woman with a swollen belly sprawled out on a dirty sheet laid over the sand. Rey felt sick but E’di pushed her in a little, “I can help her deliver the baby, but I want you to give her sips of water. She’s dehydrated. Just hold her hand and tell her she’ll be alright.”

“Will she be?” Rey asked in a small voice but E’di didn’t answer. Rey grabbed the canteen that E’di passed her and approached the woman screaming on the floor. She looked at Rey a minute before she pulled her down to sit beside her. Rey gave her small sips of water and wiped the hair away from her forehead as instructed.

She knew this woman. Her name was Katarina. Rey had seen her throughout the years at the Outpost.  She was always beautiful, too beautiful for Jakku. She wasn't scarred by the sun or caked in the dirt every day. Her clothes were soft and clean but highly impractical for work in a desert. She seemed to always have water and was never in line to get portions. It seemed like she never even left the outpost.

Then Rey understood one day that Katarina was involved in a much different line of work. She was sold for something much different than the work Rey was forced to do.  She was a woman whose company and services were bought by some of the most disgusting creatures Rey had ever seen. She was a prostitute. Rey remembered how for the first time in her life, she had felt very grateful to be a scavenger. And again now, when the woman screamed and crushed the bones in Rey's hands.

“Thank you,” she breathed in between contractions. Rey nodded, unable to say anything back, not even to reassure her like E’di told her to. She had been paralyzed with fear.

The water in the canteen ran out and Rey looked to E’di who seemed too busy to talk about water. Katarina’s face was still red and her lips were cracked so Rey pulled out her own canteen and poured some water into the empty one. It hardly seemed to make a difference though. It felt so helpless and the screams seemed to only get worse.  She looked back over to E’di who was swearing to herself between the woman’s legs. She looked at Rey for a half second, sweat dripping from her face and eyes filled with urgency. E'di told Katarina to give one last big push and it would all be over. She howled in her torment right before high pitched cries filled the tent and they all gave a sigh of relief.  

E’di called Rey over to help her cut the cord. She gasped when she looked down to see the small creature, not fully human. It looked like it might have been a twi’lek father. He was kind of strange looking at first, considering it was the first newborn she had ever seen. But as his cries subsided Rey saw the innocence that one might admire in an infant. E’di wrapped the baby up in some ripped fabric and passed him to Katarina who took him with open arms.  She loved the baby instantly and held him with such care. The baby cradled in his mother’s arms was the most gentleness the desert had ever shown Rey.

_Did my mother hold me like that? Love me like that?_

She felt tears run down her dirty freckled cheeks as she watched the albeit small but beautiful family meet each other for the first time. Strangely enough, it just made her feel lonelier.  She wiped at her face and the other woman called her over, distracting her from her thoughts.

E’di delivered the placenta. Rey just nodded pretending she knew what a placenta was so she wouldn't have to hear another horrific explanation. Rey had seen enough for now and didn't exactly want to know what she was looking at anymore. She wanted to forget. Regardless, she helped the older scavenger with wide uneasy eyes. 

Together they cleaned up the new mother, along with the baby. After everything, E'di patted Rey on the shoulder and gave her some extra water for her help. They waited outside in the night air to give Katarina and her son some room to breathe.  E’di wasn't a woman of many words but thanked Rey anyway. Rey nodded and pretended as if it hadn’t been traumatizing. She meant to ask E’di how she knew what to do, wondering if she had delivered other babies before but heard something nearby. They both turned to see some of Plutt’s filthy cronies approaching. The four of them stood before the tent, sneering at the scavengers.

“Is it alive?” one of them demanded. They held blasters in their arms and Rey stood up, suddenly the urge to get back to her AT-AT was imminent. Her staff laying in the sand calling to her.

“He is alive and she is caring for him,” E’di said in a stern voice.

“You know he won’t allow that. She brings in good money and a little ‘un don’t advertise good business.”

“Good business? The business you all chose for her you mean? She was forced into this and you will not force her from her child. Not after you pushed her away when she asked for help,” E’di shouted back. One of the men from behind snuck into the tent. E’di rushed to stop him but the one in the front aimed his blaster. Rey heard Katarina scream again, only this time it was in desperation.

“No, please. I-I want to keep him!” she pleaded. Katarina was dragged out of the tent and brought out into the darkness, the baby crying in her arms. 

“If you keep him you can’t work no more. If you don’t work you’re no use to us.” The man grabbed the child with his dirty hands, much too roughly and the baby screamed louder.

“Please!” Katarina screamed, but it was too late.  

The man snapped the baby’s neck and threw the tiny body into the sand. The sound turned Rey’s stomach as everything seemed to move in slow motion and Rey couldn't shut her eyes fast enough. Katarina screeched to the skies and collapsed next to the little lifeless boy she had carried within her. It was devastating, especially after seeing what the woman had been through to bring him into the galaxy. Rey didn't realize her feet were moving until E'di shook her shoulders to pull her out of her trance as she pushed Rey away.

“You need to leave!” and Rey didn’t protest. She grabbed her staff and loaded up on her speeder. She made for her AT-AT with tears blurring her vision. The screams were still heard from a distance. Any distraction Rey tried to give herself was cut through by the shrieks that followed behind her. She thought Katarina’s cries might go on forever. Maybe even the planets beyond Jakku could hear the heartbreak in the woman's wails.

But then the unmistakable sound of a blaster rang out and the desert was eerily quiet, the screams silenced forever.

 

 

_Rey!_

 

* * *

 

Rey shoots up from the bed gasping for air. She’s sweating. As if her dreams transported her to the desert itself. Her eyes adjust after a moment and she notices she’s in Ben’s room, not her own that she had fallen asleep in. The bond must have opened while she slept. He’s sitting up beside her, his hands come around her face. It was his voice that had woken her from the nightmare.

Her hands fly to her stomach, searching frantically for the beat of life that was still there when she fell asleep. She holds her breath until the signature of her baby assures her everything is alive and growing. She is flooded with relief, turning back to Ben. He looks mortified, even in the darkness of the room she can make out his frightened wide eyes. She already knew he had seen what disturbed her. Her walls likely fell in sleep and he was exposed to the desolation as much as she.

“Rey?” he said her name, at least she thinks he did. He still felt so far away and she couldn’t move.  She felt his hands pull her until she was flush against his chest.

Her skin crawls and she can only hear the snapping of bone and the cries of a mother. Her hands cling onto him, trying to ground herself in his presence. She can’t seem to escape the memory of it all. It consumes her.

“It’s over. You’re not there anymore. You’re with me,” he tells her. She tries and fails to think of anything but the endless "what-ifs" that start to fire off through her brain. _What if that happens to me? What if I can't protect them. What if? What if?_

“Don’t think about that. Please…” he begs. Her mind must be so loud and yet she can't seem to get a hold of it. 

_Why is it so hard to breathe?_

Hearing her thoughts, Ben brings her hand to his own heartbeat, "Breathe with me," he tells her. In through the nose and out through the mouth.  She doesn’t know how long it takes, but after a while, her heaving breaths seem to steady out. She slumps against him and he pulls her down until they are laying back against his bed. Ben’s breath fans out against her sweaty forehead. His eyes are glassy with unshed tears. She can feel how shaken he is by the vision and he lets out his own strangled breath as his hand moves down to her stomach, still fairly flat at two months along.

She knows he wants to talk but isn't sure how to begin. He's still shaken by her visions too. She decides to start for him, “It was so long ago, but I still remember all of it." She untangles herself from his hold and sits up. His eyes follow her and his hand remains warm on her back.

"I didn’t sleep for weeks after. I thought for sure one of them would tell Plutt I was there and he would do the same to me. Break my neck, shoot me, or worse, put me in Katarina’s tent and force me to do the work she did.”

"You never told me about that," he whispers. Ben wishes she could have told him sooner as he thinks of the vile crolute. Over a year ago, Ben had gone to Jakku and arrested Plutt for his slave trade. He had personally brought him into custody after punching him in his bulbous face. He was now wasting away in a cell with nothing but quarter portions to eat for the rest of his life. What Ben thought was once poetic justice now seemed too peaceful for such a disgusting creature. He wants to strangle him and every other foul beast from that horrible planet.

But as he sees his hands stroke Rey's back, he realizes Plutt isn't worth it.  The prospect that there's already so much blood on his hands already makes him queasy. _How could he touch a baby with everything he has done? What if he taints them with his darkness if he hasn't already?_

"I hadn't thought about it for so long. I haven't had the dream in years but it's been happening a lot lately," she tells him quietly. He sits up beside her as realization dawns on him. This has been happening to her since she knew about the baby. She's been afraid.

He guides her eyes to his own, "Why didn't you tell me?" she should not have had to deal with this all alone.

"I hoped they would go away, but tonight was rather graphic in ways I had tried so hard to forget," she says under her breath while her eyes cast downward. “Ever since I’ve felt it, I’ve been so worried the same thing is going to happen to us. I knew that if something that precious was taken from me I wouldn’t have the strength to carry on.  Those screams, the bones snapping...I couldn’t live with myself if that happened, I wouldn’t want to," she thinks of all those nights on Jakku when she swore to herself she would never have children. Rey didn't think she could bear it if she could finally come to love something only to have it ripped away from her. "And I always thought that if I ever got pregnant or if there was ever a chance that would happen to my own baby, I would need to get rid of it.”

Ben takes in her words and they strike him deep. How had he not realized what pain this all brought her to? If he could not keep Rey from this pain how could he keep their child from harm? He wishes his mind would think of something to say to her in this pivotal moment. The thought of it made his heart feel crushed. He knew she wanted the baby more than anything and he did too, but how could he help her now? 

Rey grabs a hold of his cheeks, sensing the great rift of sadness ripping through him. The wreckage of her words lies evidently on his face. Those had been her thoughts as a frightened girl, desperate to remain a child so her parents would still recognize her when they returned. But she grew up anyway and she left Jakku. Things were so different now, as were her choices. She never thought she would meet someone like Ben. She didn't know someone could love another person as much as she loves him. She can feel from the depth of his heart that he felt the same about her and the light she carried.

"I can't think like that though," his glassy eyes meet her red ones, "because our baby, whoever they are... I love them so much already and I don't think I would come back from that either. I would have already lost them." Rey will give all she has to protect them, everything she is.

Ben gives a relieved sigh as his head falls onto Rey's shoulder, "I love them too. I don't want to lose it," he whispers. She can feel his tears land on her collarbone and she runs her hands through his hair. She had concealed her feelings from Ben, for this reason. She can feel the toll it's taken on him and she wishes she could have kept him from this grief.

He jolts up, hearing her thoughts again, "No. This is not your burden alone. You don't have to keep things from me just because you don't want to worry me. I worry about you because I love you, you know that. No matter what happens that won't change."

"I know," and she does know.

"And that won't happen to our baby. We won't let it, okay? That won't happen to you." Rey nods but her tears return with a vengeance. She curls into him and he pulls her into his lap. She wants to believe him but fear keeps her from ease. Ben suspects her tension from this will not disappear overnight as he knows his will not. The best he can do for now is comfort her as best he can.

“Rey,” his voice heavy with emotion, "you and I will protect them, always.”

She would believe that. They would do anything to keep their baby safe.

"I know," and she does know.

 


	4. Egress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey bails the Resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that usually (at least in Aftermath and Last Shot) Chewie doesn't really have readable dialogue. He usually just moans and growls and the responses people make to him imply what he was saying. But he's a really important character in this story so I have a lot of dialogue from him. It isn't as heavy in this chapter but later on, he's got a few monologues and it may not be everyone's flavor.
> 
> Also, Poe starts out as an ass hat. Hard to tell sometimes if it's OOC though, y'know what I mean?

She had to leave soon.

Rey's hand rested over her stomach when no one was looking. The otherwise small bump was rather noticeable at only four months. She had always been too thin and now it made the little bulge too obvious. Rey had come to wearing a poncho every day, thankful for the rainy climate of Arkanis as her excuse. The maternity holos she had hidden under her pillows suggested that loose, comfortable clothes were best but those were harder to obtain. If she were to start wearing clothes twice her size people would notice. For now the pncho was the safest bet. 

Chewie walks up behind her and rests his big hand on her shoulder. She turns to look up at him and he nods. He knows what she’s about to do. No one else but Chewie knew she was pregnant. She was planning on telling Maz but decided to wait until she left the resistance. That way there was no chance if them intercepting the call.

She didn’t tell any of her friends. They would only ask who the father was and even though she could lie, she didn’t want anyone knowing. The fewer people that knew, the safer her baby was. Everyone was safer that way.

Even if she were to tell them the truth they would never understand. Despite everything Ben has done to change the First Order and renounce Snoke’s ways they refused to see him as anything but the monster they knew Kylo Ren to be. It hurt to stand aside while they spoke of him so harshly.  She had to refrain from shouting at Finn one day just recently when he proposed that it was probably Ben that was responsible for Leia’s death. He had said that a creature such as Kylo Ren would kill his mother just as easily as he killed his father.

She had slipped away to her room after and sobbed into her pillows. She had been rather emotional lately.

Their behavior had tried her patience. Even when she tried to play the Jedi card and say that the force within him is not completely dark was useless. Poe insisted that regardless of what the force might say, Kylo Ren was a murderer and needed to be brought down for his crimes. In Poe’s eyes, the only way this war would end was with the downfall of the Supreme Leader. The same Supreme Leader who was protecting the entire base and ensuring their survival daily.

Arkanis had actually been Ben’s idea. After a close call with the First Order about a year ago, he knew he needed her to stay someplace safe. Ben knew Arkanis was Hux’s homeworld and he would avoid it as much as he could. Rey then nonchalantly suggested the planet to the Resistance as a base location. They would be safe there, even if the Resistance didn’t understand why she had been so insistent. Ben protected them constantly and the Resistance, oblivious to this, insisted he was the dark force fueling the war. The war they failed to realize they weren’t even in anymore. 

Rey was currently standing in the back of another meeting. General Dameron was at the front and beside him was Commander Connix. He was proposing some elaborate scheme a little too dramatically while in reality, it was just another supply run. It finally comes to a conclusion and the room begins to empty out but Poe and Kaydel remain. Finn and Rose stay too and Rey knows she needs to do it now, she needs to get it over with. She approaches them with a forced smile on her face.

“Hey stranger,” says Rose as the smaller woman turns to smile back at her. The others hear Rose and notice Rey walk up and greet her. She can tell Poe is about to ask her something, like he has another errand for her. She leaps into action before he could.

“May I speak to you, all of you for a moment?” They look at each other with confusion before they nod and she swallows.

"Go ahead," Poe allows her to continue and Rey has to refrain from rolling her eyes. 

Finn and Rose watch her with nervous smiles on their faces. They really cared for her as she cared for them. It makes finding the right words even more difficult to know it will be a lie. She has to though. It will keep her baby safe, “I’ve felt something in the force. Something guiding me. I’m going to seek it out.” _Not exactly a lie_ , she thinks.

“Seek it out where?” Finn asks, surprise clear on his face.

“I’m not quite sure. It may lead me to any number of places to complete my training. Without a master, it’s hard to tell but I know I’ll be safe. Chewie says he’s coming with me so you all can rest assured,” she chuckles to cover up how uncomfortable she is. 

“For how long? When will you be back?” Poe asks frowning as if he’s ignored everything she’s just said.

“I’m not sure, Poe.  It relies solely on what the force has planned.” _Maybe that isn't a lie either_ , she wonders.

Poe huffs and everything is silent for a moment. Rey stands there, feeling uncomfortable in the tense quiet. Rose looks at her feet, also visibly uneasy with the conversation. Kaydel looks just as tense as if she can predict what Poe is going to say and the quiet only prolongs the discomfort.

Rey feels the baby shift inside her and she tries to hide her startled expression. She has to refrain from touching her stomach to soothe her.

Finally, Poe speaks, “Listen, I understand you need to complete your training or whatever, but we’re at war. Maybe you should put your field trip on the back burner until we live in a time you can afford to be a little more selfish.”

Rey wants to hit him. If Ben were here he would encourage that but she talks herself out of it. 

“Poe,” Finn looks at him in shock, “I know this isn’t an ideal time but Rey is smart. If the force has something planned for her then she should go. We don't know how 'all that' works.” He gestures to Rey with his hands in a mystical way, as if by "all that" he meant sorcery. 

“You mean the same force that also tells her that Kylo Ren is not predominantly dark? The one that tells her there’s light in him and we should find peace with the First Order?" he chuckles but it isn't funny. He's pissed, "I don’t think it’s ‘the force’ trying to reach her. I think it’s _him_.”

“Don’t start this again,” Rey snaps at Poe. Finn and Rose’s eyes look at her, a little startled at her sudden burst. Rey bites her lip and tries to calm down.

“I’m not taking any risks. Until he has been brought down, we need you to stay with us. We have a better chance of defeating him with you,” Poe commands with his chin in the air.

Rey wants to yell at him. If only she could tell him how stupid he is. She looks to Kaydel and Finn who still stand behind Poe and she feels them draw away from her, they’re in agreement with the General. Then Rose rests a hand on her wrist. With her arms crossed it’s dangerously close to her stomach and Rey flinches a little. Rose doesn’t seem to notice though, “Sorry, Rey, but Poe’s right. We need you here.”

“It wasn’t a request.” She’s leaving with or without their approval, “I’m sorry. But I can’t stay. The First Order hasn’t pursued us since we arrived here over a year ago now and I don’t think you need me to assist on supply runs.” Rey backs up a bit and Chewie stays close behind her.

“Fine. Whatever. Go. You’ll leave regardless of what I demand," Poe narrows his eyes at her, "I guess though, that makes you a deserter.” Poe crosses his arms and Kaydel looks at Rey regretfully as if she could apologize for his words. Rey doesn't care though. If this is what it takes to keep her baby safe then so be it. She will be a deserter. 

“I guess it does.” Rose gasps and Rey turns to leave. Chewie takes her meaning and he runs ahead to start the engines of the _Falcon_. Rey storms through the base back to her room to get her things. The rain soaks her hair but hides her tears, the poncho keeping her precious secret hidden for now.

She rushes into her room and starts shoving things into her backpack. The maternity holos she hides under her mattress, extra clothes, her tracking beacon. It's the same one Leia had given to her, only now Ben kept its twin with him. That way they could find each other in case the bond didn't open.

Rey grabs Ben’s tunic she sleeps in. She holds it to her cold and damp cheeks for a moment, inhaling the scent. It doesn’t smell much like him anymore, she had worn it too much but hints of him still remain and she chases them down because it’s warm and soft and undoubtedly Ben.

Next, Rey pulls out a drawer where she kept the Jedi texts. It had been a while now since she even opened them. They weren’t exactly the kind of curriculum she agreed with. Instead, she grabs the notebook where she had salvaged the parts she found useful and thought worthwhile. It was filled with her and Ben’s notes from the times they studied it together.

She would admire his amazing penmanship as he wrote with such care. It had been so strange to her that Ben even made her realize something as trivial as how one writes could be beautiful.

Suddenly, there’s frenzied knocking at the door, “Rey? Rey, it’s just me and Finn,” she hears Rose shout from the other side of the door. Quickly she shoves the notebook and tunic deep in her bag and wipes her face before opening the door.  She opens it to find the couple drenched much like herself from the rain. She pulls them in, looking back to see a small hint of the dark sleeve exposed and she forces it down with a determined stare. Although just a piece of black clothing, it was still _his._

They don’t notice as they wipe their feet, “Rey, what the hell is going on?” Finn asks a little tense and more than a little concerned.

Rose smacks him on the arm lightly, scolding him for his tone, “We’re just worried about you, Rey. We don’t want you to leave, but Poe shouldn’t have said those things,” she tells Rey as she wrings out her cap in the starburst plant on the table. “Is there something else going on?”

"Is there something we can help you with?" Finn offers next.

“No, of course not,” she feels that uneasiness return, her response a little too quick to be convincing. Lying to her friends wasn’t easy and the baby seemed to sense it again. She feels her insides shiver as she shifts. Rey gasps trying to cover it by clearing her throat, “I just-” she begins, forcing herself to look into their eyes full of worry, “This is something I have to do. Reading those texts, practicing my forms. None of that feels right anymore. I need to find the answers for myself and complete my training.”

They don’t budge or look relieved. They still watch her with those anxious eyes and Rey knows what they need to hear. She was hoping it wouldn’t come to this but she tries can manage the words anyway, “Poe is right. Kylo Ren is strong with the dark side of the force," Rey is certain she has said that before, "Stronger than I am in the light. If I stay here, I won’t stand a chance against him. But, if I go and finish what I started, I’ll be ready the next time I meet him. It’s in everyone’s best interest I go,” she says. Her heart feels so heavy.

They nod slowly at her words. They believe her. 

Finn smiles a bit, “That monster won’t stand a chance against you,” he says and he and Rose both laugh. She forces a grin, relieved that it seemed to work. They launch towards her, enveloping her in a hug. She panics at first at how close they attempt to get, hoping they can’t feel the small bump under her poncho. She tactfully angles her midsection away so she can hug them back. She gives a big sigh when they pull away to see they’ve still got smiles on their faces. No indication of them doubting her story or noticing any change in her body. “We’ll talk to Poe. We’ll make sure he understands so he doesn’t brand you a deserter,” Finn tells her.

“Yeah, you would know how much that hurts,” Rose laughs at him.

“Yeah, I- wait okay that time doesn’t count.” Finn mockingly glares at her.

Rey doesn’t know what they’re referring to but it seems to distract them enough that she can finish packing.  She ensures her saber is still securely clipped to the holster against her thigh before she picks up the backpack. She doesn't put it on, instead, she holds it in front of her abdomen as a shield in case they hugged her again. She turned towards the couple still dripping by the door. She walks past them and they accompany her to where Chewie had already started the Falcon. They pull her back before she makes her up the ramp, their wild smiles never leave their faces as they bring her into another hug that makes her nervous.

“Just hurry back so you can kill that bastard once and for all,” Finn says to her as the ramp rises. She waves but when the door seals she lets out a sob. She cries for a few minutes and her daughter continues to shift in confusion.

 _Those things aren’t true, love_. _Your father is not what they say he is,_ she tries to tell her. She must heed Rey's words or at least feel calmed by her assurances because the girl relaxes within her. Rey pulls off the wet poncho and catches her breath for a moment as she rubs soothing circles into her stomach. She feels the ship lift off and she heads to the cockpit to help Chewie.

“You okay?” he asks knowing her eyes are too red for the wetness on her face to be just from the rain.

“Fine,” she says but he pokes her and she huffs in defeat. He would get it out of her eventually and there was nothing to hide from him anyway, “They all talk about him like he’s some creature. They only let me leave after I insisted I could destroy him when I came back. But, if that’s what they want from me, then I don’t want to ever come back," she cries. Despite the state of everything, she would miss Finn and Rose. They were amazing friends, their worry about her leaving proved that, "Meaning I’ve just said goodbye to them, permanently, and I couldn’t even look at them because of the things I had to say.” She watches as the atmosphere of Arkanis fades and the darkness of space surrounds the _Falcon_ once again. 

Chewie is quiet for a long moment while Rey wipes away at her face but finally, he speaks again, “You know, when this war is over, they’ll come to see who they were talking about. When they see him for Ben, you can meet them again someday. They’ll come to understand everything he has done for them rather than what he’s done against them, just as I have.” She smiles at him feeling reassured.

“That’d be nice,” she says quietly. Even if they never thought of him as anything but a monster, it was heartwarming that Chewie had so much faith in that concept. Especially since he had lost hope in Ben too once.

Chewie takes them into light speed and Rey decides to go lay down, drained from her emotions among other things. They were going to meet up with Chewie’s family on Kashyyyk. He insisted that there was no place safer for her to hide than surrounded by Wookiees and Ben had agreed wholeheartedly. He did, however, warn her about the food.

 

 

The bond opened while Ben was restlessly tossing in his bed. One moment she wasn’t there and when he turned back to his side she was. His breath hitched as he took in the sight of her. She was sleeping. Her hair was fanned out across the pillows and her hand held across her middle. She looked like she was glowing and Ben took the moment to take her in, to study her peaceful face in sleep.

The bump of her stomach was getting more prominent and Ben reaches out his hand. His skin grazed the exposed sliver of her abdomen and it reveals her surroundings to him. She’s on the _Falcon_ , specifically the bedroom. She must notice the change of the force because she stirs, “Ben.” Her eyes open to find his and she gives him a bright smile.

He smiles back and brings himself above her. He kisses her gently. His lips are still on hers when he asks, “How’s no name?” his hands move the shirt aside so he can press his whole hand against her skin. The light that resides beneath his fingers latches on to his presence. Since they discovered it was a girl they've been able to sense more about her and Ben can feel how she seems to have missed him just as he has missed her. 

“She’s good. We’re good.” 

He nods with a grin, knowing well enough what her answer would be but is relieved to hear it all the same. “You left today,” not really a question. More of an observation.

“I did.”

“That was sooner than I thought you were planning on.”

“I didn’t want to stay any longer,” she hugs her arm around him, glad to have him with her again for however brief. “The way they talk about you and the way I had to talk about you...it makes me angry,” Rey shakes her head. He knew well enough what the Resistance thought of him despite his efforts to keep them safe on Arkanis. 

“They’re just words, Rey. Don’t let it bother you.”

“I know. I just...I think she could sense I was talking about you. I think it made her upset,” she rubs a hand over her abdomen. He takes her meaning and brings his hand to rest on her stomach, “I think she’s mad at me.”

“She is _not_ mad at you,” he tells her, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I’m mad at me,” she huffs, “I hate saying those things, but they don’t listen to me otherwise. Only if they think my hatred of you matches theirs.”

“I’m sorry,” he says to her but she just shakes her head and tells him it isn't his fault. He knew what she was feeling. Ben had to speak ill of Rey before and it always left him feeling guilty although his words were empty. Ben moves down to press kisses to her stomach where his hands were. Her fingers move to run through his hair and he shivers.

“She loves you. She’s rather protective of your honor,” she tells him quietly and he laughs a little.

“What honor?” he jokes, hovering above her face.

“Shut up.” She pulls him down to kiss him but it quickly develops into something much hungrier. He misses her so much. He knows they won't be able to meet in person until the baby comes and as much as it kills him he knows it's for the best. But now he marvels how he can feel the heat of her skin from across the stars and feels his worries melt away for the moment. His hand trails to the neckline of the tunic she still wears as pajamas and he sits up, bringing her with him until she’s in his lap. Ben pushes the shirt away from her shoulders and it falls behind her. Rey pulls him closer, her bare chest against his before she brings a hand to his face as she kisses the scar down his face, “I love you.”

His heart beats faster. These words they said to each other never seem to fade in potency. His chest always manages to expand and shrink simultaneously when he hears them, “I love you.” His hands trail down her body. The soft bedding beneath them reminds Ben she’s on his father’s old ship...with Chewie. Suddenly, he feels his desire turn cold and pulls away, “Rey?”

“Hmm?” she hums with her lips against his throat. He gulps when he feels the vibration from her response. He had to focus.

“W-where’s Chewie?” The same wookiee that has known him his entire life and very well might walk in at any moment. Ben didn’t want to invite that awkwardness into their rekindled relationship that was still delicate. 

“He’s sleeping in the cockpit,” Rey answers continuing her work. 

“And he won’t come in?” He hears a latch turn from the door behind him. Ben turns his head quickly to notice the keypad to the left of the door is red. Rey secured the locks from where she sat on top of him.

“Nope.” She pushes him back and he laughs at her fervency. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to spend an eternity on every milestone of Rey's pregnancy since most of this story takes place after the baby is born so I kinda just glazed over the fact that they already know it's a girl. That's probably shitty writing but oh well.


	5. Stationary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two little tidbits of our two little dipshits who are dealing with their feelings as well as growing stomach size and their positions on opposite end of the galaxy. What does that mean for space bean junior?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title of the story emerges in this chapter and shocker it's their kid's name. 
> 
> I know that the typical way to pronounce Lorelei is more like LOR-UH-LIE but in this story Ben and Rey are pronouncing it like LOR-UH-LAY for reasons I'll get into later.

Rey is huffing in irritation as she gets dressed. What was only a week ago fitting fine on her was now tight and constricting. She yanked the shirt back over her head and threw it back down on the bed in frustration. She looks to the shawl that Malla, Chewie’s wife, had brought her. It had been made for a juvenile wookiee but still went down to her ankles and she could hardly move her arms without the fabric getting in her way.

Rey supposed she was staying inside today as she was now only in a breast band and leggings, her belly fully exposed. At six months along, she knew she was only going to get bigger from here on out. The maternity holos she had been reading and the midwife droid that Chewie and Waroo, his son, managed to smuggle in had assured her she was the average size for a woman as far along as she. Perhaps even smaller than she should be.  It didn’t make her feel any bit less massive though.

The droid, MX-13, as helpful as she could be, had similar exhausting programming (not unlike C-3P0). Rey could only take so many lectures before she shut her off and resorted back to the holos. Everything seemed to be fine, but Rey couldn’t help but feel like her body was too small to complete such a transition that now dominated her center of gravity and all her energy. Yesterday, she had only climbed the steps to the lookout where she could admire the Kashyyykian scenery, but it left her winded and her back aching.

Rey sighs and leans back against the bed, feeling too round and tired to do anything but too restless to do nothing. She had never been so stationary for so long and it was driving her a little mad. She hadn’t seen Ben in nearly three days. Her pregnancy had seemed to affect the bond significantly. It strained from the energy Rey’s body dedicated to carrying the child. Whenever the baby seemed to grow or develop more rapidly, the bond couldn’t seem to open as easily. So, she is relieved when her skin begins to tingle and the force around her hums. When she feels Ben’s mind meld with her own and she opens her eyes to see him standing over her with a smirk on his face, “Shut up,” she says.

“I didn’t say anything,” he chuckles.

“You didn’t have to. You standing there with that grin while I lie here like a beached ruhau-whale.” He rolled his eyes at her, laughing at her dramatics.

“Rey, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I mean it! Nothing fits me anymore. Nothing. I’ll just have to remain in this room with all my clothes off until she comes.”

“You’ll hear no complaints from me,” he says leaning over her, trying to hide the grin still clearly on his face.

“Ben,” she warns. It was her turn to roll her eyes, “I’m serious.” She sits up, or at least tries to, but rolls back from the weight of her midsection. She groans and Ben grabs her hands, helping to pull her up, smirk still present on his face. She stands before him, as close as they can manage considering her bump. His hands slip down to her stomach, checking over the life there and he gives a bright smile when he finds it healthy and growing as always. Her irritation fades away as she feels joy wash over him from his side of the bond. She can’t help but feel it too.

“She’s grown since I last saw you,” he says with his eyes a little downcast. The face he made when he felt like he had missed something. The face she had seen him make increasingly in the past few months. She brings a hand up to his face, her thumb running past the scar on his cheek. A gesture she repeated often. A strong kick nudges Ben’s hand and he gasps out in surprise.  

“She’s been doing that a lot. All night actually. She misses you, I can tell.”

“You didn’t sleep,” he wasn’t asking, he already knew. He could feel her exhaustion just as she could feel his. When the bond doesn’t connect them, it leaves them both restless.

“Not much. Although it did give me time to think of things. Especially since she demanded my attention.” She beams up at him and he takes her meaning.

“A name?” he asks smiling.

“A name,” she confirms. They had discussed it only a few times. Ever since they felt the child to be a girl, they began thinking of what to call her.  At first Ben had mentioned the name Padmé, after his grandmother. But they soon enough decided that they didn’t want her to experience the pressures of living up to a name.  Ben grew up knowing he was named after Obi-Wan’s legacy and he resented it. They thought their baby could do without that weight on her shoulders. They wanted a name that would be her own, free of that burden. He waits eagerly to hear what she’s come up with.

Suddenly she feels a little vulnerable. She had tried to not get ahead of herself, but after repeating it endlessly in her head, she had come to love it. She laid in bed all night imagining the little face that would go with the name, “Lorelei.”

The corners of his mouth quirk up, “Lorelei?” he tests it out. Her heart lifts at how it sounds in his voice. True although that it was reminiscent of Leia, it was still something new. Something that would be entirely hers. He looks down to Rey’s stomach once more and says it again, whispers this time, “Lorelei.” He brings his fingers to his own lips, amazed at how it sounds. Marveling at the fact he just said his daughter’s name, “I love it. Rey, it’s perfect.”

“Yeah. I think it might be.” Tears build up in her eyes and she can’t bring herself to care about her lack of clothing or how huge she felt. She was carrying their daughter and no matter what size that brought her to it didn’t matter. She places her hands over Ben’s where they have moved back to her stomach, “Lorelei...”

  
Four days later

 

She had opted to wear the shawl to Chewie and Malla’s home for dinner. Although Ben had warned her of the food in a wookiee home she was never one to be picky. Although it was strange she didn't complain. It was always better than portions.

The fabric swallowed her entire body and you could hardly tell she was pregnant while she wore it. Once she returned to the adjourning house she had forgone it, settling to wear Ben’s tunic in her own company.

But then he appeared again. It had been even longer than last time. The space between each bond seeming to grow more strained as Lorelei grew faster. His arms pulled her to him instantly, kissing her passionately. Her hands touch his skin and she feels her surroundings morph. She finds herself standing in his quarters. His hands play with the hem of the tunic she’s wearing. The only thing that manages to cover her stomach now, “I see your wardrobe dilemma is the same.”

“It is,” she responds.

“I have a solution,” he says as he pushes the tunic from her shoulders until it falls to the floor, leaving her in just her breast band and underwear in his cold room.

“Ben!” she scolds him as he pulls away from her. He moves across his room and she stays where she is, arms crossed to rest upon the curvature of her stomach, “If you’re going to suggest I stay naked again then it’s not a solution.”

“Of course not. I have an _actual_ solution this time.” He walks up to his closet, opening the doors and pulling out something behind a series of black capes. It’s folded up and she can’t tell what it is.

"More tunics?” she says excitedly. New tunics that smelled like him and engulfed her frame enough to cover the bulge.

“No, although you can have some of those too if you want. Now,” he walks up to her and she looks at the fabric curiously, “eyes closed and arms up,” he tells her. She rolls her eyes a little before closing them, unable to do anything about the smile she knows is clear on her face. She raises her hands above her and he pulls it over her head helping her thread her arms through the sleeves. She feels the material swish past her legs. It’s so comfortable, so soft. His hands smooth out the fabric over her body before he turns her around to face the other way. He stands behind her, his voice right beside her ear, “Open ‘em, sweetheart.”

She opens her eyes to see herself in a mirror wearing a black dress. It’s simple. It would probably be considered a nightgown to most. But to her, it is the most beautiful piece of clothing she’s ever seen or worn. She can see now why the concept of a dress might appeal to people. It hugs her body against her chest but falls from there, giving her stomach more than enough room. She gasps as she runs her hands along the long sleeves that go down to her wrists. It’s a maternity dress, like the ones the holos and MX suggested for pregnant women but Rey didn’t have access to. She had come to accept that she wouldn’t be getting any accommodated clothing because she couldn’t be seen anywhere in her now very obvious condition, “You look beautiful, Rey...You like it?” he asks her.

She looks back at the mirror where she finds Ben’s eyes over her shoulder, “I love it. It’s amazing, but how...Where did you get this?” Surely he would have taken the same precautions. How he managed to have a maternity dress in his closet was beyond her.

“I had a textile droid summoned to my room. I had it make some things for you, including this,” he explains, running his hands down her arms and reaching around to settle on her stomach, “I wiped it’s memory of the garments and instead had it record that I had some sleepwear made to account for the used fabric if anyone snoops around. Knowing me they only brought black material so everything is a little dark.” he says before his eyes trail down again, “I rather like the color on you though. Very fitting.” She laughs at his observations.

“Thank you, Ben.” The reflection blurs as she realizes she’s crying. It meant so much that he would do this for her. She thinks of how on Jakku she had resorted to wearing the same thing for years, making her relationship with clothes rely more on practicality than appearance. But this dress has comfort like she’s never known but also a simplistic elegance to it as well. She sees now how clothes could be really lovely.

He presses his lips to the nape of her neck. His hands run over her stomach now covered by the soft black fabric. Rey’s eyes close, calmed by his touch but when she leaned back against his chest, she could feel how tense he was, “Ben?”

“She’s getting so big,” his voice shakes a little and she turns around to look at him. His lips are trembling.

She takes his face in her hands and tries again, “Ben?” She knows he can hear the _What’s wrong?_ she laces in her tone.

“I just…I miss you. I wish things were different and I could do more. I feel horrible sitting here while you have to do everything yourself.” She shakes her head as she recognizes the guilt and anxiety roll off of him. She tries to stop it before it gets any worse.

“I miss you too, but I’m fine. Really. Chewie and his family help me...and you do so much, Ben.”

“Is this all I can manage for you? A few dresses?” he says caressing the fabric of her dress between his fingers. She covers his hand with hers.

“Ben, it’s amazing. Really.”

“You deserve more than this though. If I were with you, I could help you. But if I was, it would only put both of you in more danger.  I feel useless where I am and it kills me when I don’t see you for days only to feel her growing more.”

“Ben-” she starts but he carries on.

“I’m scared, terrified, that once she’s born and I have to come back here, I’ll miss everything. She’ll only see me through the bond or know of me through what you tell her. What if she only sees me as the Supreme Leader? Kriff, she's going to hate me.” He’s crying now. She pushes him to sit down on the edge of the bed, leaning over to hold his face and wipe away his tears, “I don’t want to be a stranger to her. Not like my father was to me.”

“You won’t be.”

“How could I not be, Rey?” he cries, “I thought since he was gone all the time he didn’t love me. I know now that wasn’t true, but what if that’s what she thinks? What if she thinks I don’t love her?” She pulls his head until it is flush against her stomach and Lorelei’s light glows brighter at her father’s presence. She waits until she feels Ben relax against her as he sinks into the warmth there.

“Because Lorelei knows how much you love her. She can feel it.” Rey pulls up the dress and rests the material on the top of the bump. His face brushes against her skin and his breath fans out over her stomach. “She loves you, Ben. Feel it.”

He nods, trying to swallow whatever fears had consumed him moments earlier. He presses his lips against where Lorelei is cradled and Rey runs her hands through his hair, “I’ve had my doubts too, I've been worried I won’t be a good mother,” she tells him and he looks up at her like she’s speaking a different language. “I’m scared of being like my parents. Of hurting her the way I was hurt.”

“Rey, you would never,” he tells her, keeping a gentle hold on the sides of her stomach.

“No...I wouldn’t. And neither would you. So even though it’s terrifying and we don’t know what we’re doing...we know what not to do. That’s where we’ll start and go from there.” His shoulders fall as he calms down.

He pulls her to sit in his lap, her legs bracing the sides of his thighs and his hands run up her back.  He breathes into her neck. She kisses the tears from his cheeks while she hugs him as close as her belly allows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot-ness starts to kick in next chapter (I think) so we'll be checking in on everyone's favorite space ginger who's been pretty quiet so far.


	6. Lurking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When confronted with a problem in a story, just add big ass spiders. 
> 
> I'm not a big fan of this chapter and it's a bit of a mess. It's hard to focus on chapters that have very little Rey or Ben. It kinda jumps around too so it may be confusing but hopefully the next chapter will clarify everything.
> 
> So fair warning, there is no Rey or Ben POV in this chapter. It's kinda plot-heavy and I know that's not everyone's flavor so...sorry I guess.

 

Hux was no fool.

It didn’t take long for him to gather that Ren didn’t want the Jedi dead.  He remembers his doubts when Snoke was murdered. He found it too impossible that this silly excuse for a Jedi who had come from the scrap piles of Jakku only days earlier had murdered Snoke, his eight praetorian guards, as well as leave Kylo defeated on the floor.

Even if he believed she could kill the others, why had she left Ren alive?

Hux investigated more into what transpired in the throne room and finally got his hands on some recovered footage from the Supremacy.  It was definitely worth the hassle to get it because its contents were very revealing. Ren must not have known it existed or he surely would have been smart enough to dispose of it before then.

Because Ren had murdered Snoke to save the girl.

It all began to make sense. Ren cared for this woman. He couldn’t imagine why but it was enough to start on.

After this discovery, Hux made an effort to converse with him occasionally about the girl. Anything that might make his blood boil and make him drop his facade for however brief. As time went on, Ren became more and more infuriated at the topic. Not because he despised her it seemed, but rather his avowal that she be left hidden. He also told Hux he needed to stop pestering him before he went too far. 

Only Hux hadn't gone far enough though because Ren was hiding more than just his apparent affections for this woman.

Every time, without fail, the First Order came close to wiping out the Resistance forever, they seemed to either escape at the last moment or be conveniently prepared. Things were becoming more clear every time the Resistance triumphed. It had been a long while now since there has been any confrontation with them. Probably because there was nothing they wanted to resist anymore. At least not with the Supreme Leader making decisions they’d most likely agree with.

Not that Hux wanted the Resistance to be prospering or terrorizing around the galaxy but it was surely obvious that they stepped back. Whatever dwindling members the Resistance had after Crait, they managed to get what they wanted.  

And then Ren started to treat the First Order like his own charity league. He wasn’t maintaining any methods used previously by Snoke. That further exposed him as Snoke's true murderer. Ren had erased any traces of the former Supreme Leader.

His political stance becoming almost sympathetic. At moments, it had the sour taste of the New Republic. He thinks back to their impromptu trip to Jakku many months ago where Ren arrested a single man, a crolute, before leaving sufficient water and food resources for the scavengers. 

Ren truly was an idiot. These actions were terribly sentimental. Even if Hux did not have the knowledge from the security holos, it would have been obvious what he was doing. He was trying to save those who suffered from what the girl had already experienced. His vulnerabilities were practically up for grabs. 

It was then that the cogs first turned in his mind. A most brilliant concept introduces itself.

What if Hux were to find her? With that kind of leverage at his disposal, Ren would be begging on his knees for mercy. He could destroy him in ways the force cannot. Hux's skills for manipulation were well versed and if he had the means to do so, perhaps it would not be impossible. 

 _Supreme Leader Hux_ did have a nice ring to it.

These plans started to truly form into something tangible when the Knights of Ren graced everyone on the Absolution with their presence. They had come to speak with the Supreme Leader, their Master.  Hux knew he would never get in the throne room with them. The Knights seemed to share Ren’s disgust of him. However, he navigated the complicated controls and security codes which allowed Hux to sit back and watch the tension unfold from the holoprojector in his private quarters.

 _“And the girl?”_ one of the Knights asked Ren.

 _“What of her?”_ Ren answered facing away from them, surely knowing they would see the worry in his eyes.  Ren’s face constantly betrayed him. He could see now why he sported his mask for so long. Every emotion, every vulnerability spelled itself across his features the moment they struck him.

 _“She’s a Jedi. She must die,_ ” countered another Knight.

 _“She is no concern of ours,”_ Ren said flatly.

_“No concern of ours? She is the only concern. With her wiped out, the Jedi are forever gone.”_

_“She can use the force, yes, but that does not make her a Jedi,”_ Kylo countered.

 _“She may as well be one. She’s with the Resistance,”_ said another Knight.

 _“And she murdered Snoke, that should be reason enough to want her dead!”_ they were furious and seemed to be swarming Ren. Hux was truly enjoying the entertainment. It was refreshing to see anyone raise their voice at Ren, trying to degrade him any way they can.  

Kylo had ignited his lightsaber and held it to the throat of the closest Knight and growled at all of them, _“Snoke is not your leader. He never was. If I say the girl is of no concern, then that is what she is and what she remains!”_

Hux couldn’t have hoped for a better performance. Any doubts or reservations he might have previously held were quickly diminishing. He was protecting her. And that was not lost on the Knights of Ren, who were probably the only other beings that were as eager as Hux to see the girl eliminated.

It was their evident doubts in their leader that Hux dared consult them at all. He just about risked his life by contacting Xid.

Xid was probably the most powerful of the knights excluding Ren himself, at least that's what his records indicated. Hux was getting rather creative with his ways of digging up information.

At first, Xid seemed skeptical as Hux has assumed he would be, “General Hux, to what do I owe the pleasure?” only there was little pleasure to be found in his tone. Hux swallowed and fixed his countenance to one of confidence. 

“Master Xid, so nice to see you again. I realize this may seem a little random to be hearing from me but I have something of a business proposition for you. Something I thought you might find worth your time.”

“For your sake Hux, it better be.”

Hux remained calm but took no time to explain himself. He didn’t want to push his luck with false pleasantries, “I presume that you and your fellow knights share my frustrations when it comes to the continued existence of the scavenger girl.” Xid stiffened a bit, seemingly surprised.

“The Jedi, you mean,” Xid corrects him, obviously a little touchy on the subject.

“Yes," Hux confirms. 

Xid was silent for a moment before he spoke, “We answer to the Supreme Leader and he wishes that the girl be forgotten...despite what we may prefer.”

“Ahh...Of course. I understand completely,” Hux reads between the lines, “But I’m afraid that the Supreme Leader may not be in any position to ask that of you”

“And why is that, General?”

Hux pressed a few buttons and sent him another hologram. Xid looked confused as he opened the hologram, “What is this Hux?”

“Something I think you and your fellow knights deserve to see,” he said almost sympathetically. Anything to keep himself breathing at this point.

Xid accepted the transmission and the sight of Snoke appeared before him. Xid watched as Kylo killed him and proceeded to fight alongside the girl. He remains eerily calm in his stature but Hux was sure his countenance beneath the mask held more fury.

After the guards are dead and the hologram ends Xid turns away. His back to Hux. He doesn’t speak but he doesn’t end the call either.  

Hux gave him a moment, uncertain of what the man was going to do.

He hears a faint hissing followed by a slight pop and realizes Xid is taking his mask off. He turns back around and Hux is surprised to see an actual human face beneath. He isn’t sure why the concept is as shocking as it is. He realizes just now he never thought of what was beneath and for some reason was imagining cloned beings of Ren. He represses a shudder at the thought.

No, this man had darker skin and buzzed white hair though he looked to be around Ren's age. He had small tattoos on his cheeks and his eyes seemed light. It made his stare all the more piercing.

Finally, Xid speaks again.  He begins rather hesitantly, “The Knights and I have...suspected that he might harbor something for the girl. That or there was something he wasn’t telling us.”

“Did you believe him when he told you the girl murdered Snoke?”

“At first. But I never could figure out how she managed to kill Snoke and all his guards and somehow leave Kylo alive. If she was that powerful, she could have killed him too.”

“I thought the same thing. It was those suspicions that led me to search for this recording. I think it answers a lot of our questions.”

Xid nodded but looked back at Hux directly. It was as if he was just assessing the man for the first time. As if he had just considered Hux might be something more besides a nuisance, “Why have you shown this to me?”

“As I said, I have something of a business proposition for you and your knights. I thought we could help each other.”

“Very well, Hux. You’ve got my attention.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chewie was walking back home with his son, Waroo. He was glad to spend some more time with him these past months. They had gone into the village to get some jogan fruit. He remembered how Han said he got Leia an endless supply of these while she was pregnant with Ben and Chewie thought he would get some for Rey. The girl never complained about food despite the strange tastes that Kashyyyk had to offer to a human’s palette. He thought he would find her something a little more traditional and he hoped the baby would like it too.

Just then Chewie remembered he needed to check on the Falcon. He kept it hidden away, a little ways from the village so as not to attract attention. It did mean though that sometimes webweavers spun their nests in the undercarriage which meant a big mess on his hands.  But he and Waroo enjoyed the challenge. Sometimes they would haul them back home and eat them. It was one of the few meals he insisted Rey sit out on and use the food processor instead.

Chewie puts the jogan fruit in his satchel and keeps his bowcaster propped up in the crook of his arm as Waroo walked beside him with a spear in his grip. They quietly push their way through the greenery of the forest floor until the Falcon comes into sight.  It looks fine on the surface. No obvious residents at a glance.

They separate to circle it, knowing to check the usual hiding spots that they usually hid.

If Han knew he was using the Falcon as a big spider trap these days he would probably faint. He figured though it would even out since he was keeping his grandchild safe.

Han. A grandfather. What a strange concept.

He hears Waroo moan something from where he is, “I think I found one, only it-” Waroo’s sounds are drowned out by the loud crackle of a blaster. Chewie hears a loud thud followed by a roar of pain from his son. 

“Waroo!” he roars and sprints around to find his son on the ground holding a hand to his side. He looks all around, trying to see where the blast came from but the as he hears an electric hum behind him he knows the attacker already has their blaster pointed at his head.

“Drop it!” a husky voice says. 

With a growl, he throws his bowcaster to the ground and places his hands on his head. With his son on the ground and Rey back at home, he knew he couldn't take any chances. He had to play along for the time being.

“Turn around.” Chewie’s eyes trained on his son as long as he can. The wound seemed to just be a graze but still to see his son hurt makes him light up with rage. He turns around as he is told and there is a crusty looking weequay man standing there with a blaster rifle trained on him.

He chuckles to himself, “It is you. Thought so. This ship makes it a dead give away.”

Chewie will rip his arms off, “What do you want?” he growls.

“If you tell me where she is, I don’t kill your son,” he gestures to Waroo back on the ground with his rifle.

Chewie is about to pretend he has no idea, _Who do you mean?_ nearly escapes him when the comlink on the man’s wrist crackles. It would have been a stupid answer and he's relieved for the interruption. 

 _“Grok? Did you find the ship?”_ the voice says

“Even better, I found me some wookiees.”

_“Keep them there, we’re coming!”_

“Will do,” he says smugly before aiming his blaster back at full attention. “Alright, where are you keeping this little sand rat? I know she's not on the ship. I checked already.”

How stupid were these people? Chewie remains silent as his taunting questions continue but his fur raises in anger.

“You will tell us eventually. The longer you persist, the shorter your son’s life gets,” he raves on about all the horrendous things he can do to inflict pain in the slowest ways possible. He mentions how once the rest of his crew arrives they will take great pleasure in torturing them both.

Chewie's attention though is called elsewhere, however, as he glances back to the Falcon where he sees long spindly legs maneuver until they wrap around the edge.

 _A webweaver._ A very large and hungry looking webweaver. The weequay man carries on, ignorant to the large predator behind him. Too proud of his already accomplished feat to notice the glint in Chewie’s eyes angled up at the large creature.

But then it clicks it’s eager pinchers together, satisfied with its prospective prey below: the filthy looking bounty hunter.

At the chilling sound, the man turns just in time to see the massive spider pounce on him before it started to spindle webs all around him. Bones crunch and the screams quickly die out along with their owner. Chewie has never been more grateful to see one devour someone before.

As the webweaver enjoys his meal Chewie picks up the bowcaster from the ground and helps his son to his feet. They rush back out of the forest towards town. He had to get home and get Rey away from here.  It seems their days of quiet had ended and it was time to leap to action once again. And so close to when Rey would be having the baby, under two weeks away from her due date.

He had a really bad feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

 

Pim watched through the trees with her quadnocs, “I see him. He’s coming back down the stairs." She keeps her eyes trained on the frantic looking wookiee, "They should be coming back your way soon enough.”

 _"What about the Jedi? Do you see the woman?”_ Danskee asked, eager to hear about their main target.

“Not yet. He’s just carrying a bunch of things...but wait, he’s not going back to the freighter. He’s headed for another ship here!”

_“Kriff. Can you see it?”_

“Yeah. Standard Solar shuttle. Looks like it belongs to his neighbor. They're definitely going to be leaving.”

 _“Get a tracker on 'em. If we lose them now we’re fucked!”_ Danskee shouted.

“I know, I know!” she pulls out the tracking chips and loads a few into her sniper rifle.

 _"We'll have to follow them. If we can catch them with their guard down again we'll have a better chance,"_ Meezer was explaining to everyone what was already understood. He was exhausting like that. 

She sees the wookiee rush back up to his house, no doubt where the girl was staying. Pim figures once she comes down and they load up, she will snag a tracker on the hull after take off. She lays on her stomach from where she is hidden in the trees. This way she will be ready.

She thinks for a brief moment of just shooting them with her usual plasma bolts but that General said if she was killed before they handed her over to the First Order they wouldn’t get paid. Pim didn’t want to take any chances. This score was probably worth more than their last four big jobs put together and they all decided to be extra cautious.

It is why Grok’s death was hardly plaguing her. She never liked him anyway and with him dead that meant a bigger share for the rest of them.

She waits impatiently for them to reemerge and get in the shuttle. This girl’s hustle time was not in line with her reputation as Snoke’s murderer. It was disappointing in a way. At least it left Pim feeling more satisfied with her own abilities. Maybe this Jedi wasn’t as lethal as she was made out to be.

She finally sees movement and shuts one eye as she looks through the scope. There she is, the Jedi that was going to make her rich. She pans down a little and sees...wait a minute.

Pim pulls away from the scope, blinking quickly before she grabs her quadnocs again. She fumbles a bit, her movements are frenzied and have little precision. She could have sworn she saw…

The quadnocs focus and she sees how the girl has her hand held protectively over her swollen middle as her black dress flaps in the wind, “Danksee! Meezer!” she says a little too loudly into her comlink but she’s far enough out of range that the wookiee and the girl don’t hear her.

_“What is it?”_

“You’re never gonna believe this. It’s crazy. Insane. Totally beyond stupid and you’ll never guess what-”

_“Fuck, Pim spit it out!”_

“She’s pregnant! The woman is kriffing pregnant!” It is quiet for a moment from the other side before she hears Danskee’s laugh.

 _“I think we could get paid double for this.”_ She laughs along with him as she the two targets load up on the shuttle and it ascends to the air. She fires her sniper rifle and the tracker latches on to the hull as they leave the atmosphere.

“This deal is getting better all the time,” Pim mutters to herself with a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah...so, shit is about to hit the fan and I apologize in advance.


	7. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben gets shook and bails the First Order (finally) but not under good circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy Ben has a lot on his plate.
> 
> I've written this chapter probably three times now and I'm not even that happy with this draft but it might just be because it hurts.

 

Ben was standing on the bridge among the dozen or so officers that were there as well. Hux wasn’t here though. It was rare that Ben arrived before Hux and although he had no desire to see the miserable excuse for a human, it did put him on edge.

Who was he kidding, he was always on edge. 

His only sense of relief was the dreamlike vision of when he would leave here to be with her. He would soon leave the First Order and meet her on Kashyyyk. She still had roughly ten days until her due date but he wanted to get there early in case anything happened beforehand.  He had fantasized for months of the day when he would be reunited with her again.

He hoped today could be that day. 

He had spent weeks thinking of a good enough story that would allow him more than a few days of leave. Finally, he decided he would announce how he was going to Mustafar to meditate, maybe claiming he felt a disturbance in the force. Surely that sounded like something Kylo Ren would do. That way no one would ask follow up questions. 

It’s why Hux’s absence was for once, inconvenient. He wanted to make that announcement public enough. He wanted to leave sooner if he could. He couldn’t help but put a hand to his chest. Right over the beacon he kept on a string that hums under his tunic. It’s the closest he can get to Rey at that moment and he represses a smile as he thinks of what she must be doing just then. 

Just then Mitaka approaches him and he moves his hands behind him once again, “What is it, Lieutenant?”

“Sir, there is an incoming transmission from a certain Rhif Danskee. He’s asking for General Hux.”

Ben frowns, "What does he want from Hux?"

“He didn’t say,” Mitaka is shaking in his boots like always and Ben tries to cut him some slack.

“Pull the hologram up, I will speak with him."

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka moved away and instantly a scruffy man appeared in the glow of a blue transmission. He seems more than a little surprised to see the Supreme Leader on his own projector and spits out his death stick as if he was suddenly choking.

“Kylo Ren! Wow! Sorry sir, didn’t realize this was the main line. I was trying to get ahold of General Hux.” He combs back his hair and suddenly sits up much straighter but still looked unkempt.

“I'm aware. You’re Danskee?” Ben asks him.

“Yes, Rhif Danskee, sir.” 

“Why are you trying to contact General Hux?” Ben asks.

“Well, we were supposed to touch base with him once we had a steady lead on our target. He said to contact his direct line but I must have entered the code wrong.” The man laughs nervously but Ben is stuck on his words.

This man was a bounty hunter. Hux hired bounty hunters to find somebody without telling him. 

Ben was going to kill him, for real this time. He was getting out of control.

The First Order currently had no contracts out for anyone. Ben had redacted all bounties, especially since the last one the Order held was...Rey’s. He pales as he is suddenly much more attentive to this idiot’s words.

“Who is the target?” Ben says through gritted teeth. Danskee’s brow furrows in apparent confusion.

“I-I thought you knew. I thought this was a First Order issued bounty. Hux said-” suddenly Hux comes running in, completely out of breath and interrupts the bounty hunter.

“Thank you, Rhif. That is enough for now. Please end the transmission and call me back in my private quarters like I instructed you to do,” he says quickly while he tries to right his himself from his apparent exertion.

Ben sees that Danskee is about to do as he’s told when he shouts to stop him, “Stop! I am the Supreme Leader and you will answer to me. If you hang up now you and your whole crew will be under arrest!” Ben screams and the man on the hologram remains in view, his eyes blown wide. 

 

 _Incompetent fool_ , Hux scolds Danskee from his rage-filled thoughts. He had waited all morning to hear from this filthy imbecile in his private quarters. He probably would have stayed there even longer except he had received a com from Commander Lennox. He was one in a handful of individuals Hux had confided his plan in beside the Knights. When the transmission of Rhif Danskee was displayed on the bridge Lennox instantly notified the General.

It was a sacrifice to use such idiots in his scheme, but he needed someone stupid enough to think that the First Order wanted some meager bounty hunters to go after a Jedi. He did find those idiots, only they couldn't retain even the most simple information apparently. 

Of course, at this moment so crucial in Hux's designs would things begin to unravel. After his endless months of planning, it was about to be ruined by the mindless actions of the insufferable acts of nitwits. 

Hux turns to Kylo, trying to salvage the pieces he can, “Ren, I strongly suggest-” he doesn’t get to finish.

 

“Shut up! I would like to find out exactly what you’ve been doing,” Ben shouts at him. He reaches forward and grips the man’s collar. Ben wants to keep hold of him in case he tries to make a run for it. The officers that were on the bridge have stepped away from their stations to watch what will happen. Ben’s heart beats a little faster, he ignores all else and turns to speak to the moronic bounty hunter once more, “Who is the target that General Hux hired you to eliminate?”

“Well, we were just asked to bring a bounty in. Not kill them, sir.”

“Who?” He’s losing patience.

“The Jedi woman,” he says as if it was obvious.

For a moment Ben’s heart stops beating. He can’t breathe. This man was searching for Rey. She was all he had. She carried with her their most precious creation. His only reasons to live were being hunted down and he failed to recognize this until now.

His body trembles with anger and fear and it does not go unnoticed by Hux who is still held in his grip. Ben looks to the redheaded cretin for a moment to find the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips.

He must have known. He must have discovered his weakness to Rey and was planning to use her as a prisoner to manipulate him. That’s why these bounty hunters were supposed to bring her in quietly.

Fortunately, they were horrible at their job.

He gulps and tries to keep his composure. There are at least another twelve people in the room he remembers. He clears his throat, “And what have you found concerning this woman?” he can hardly manage the words. He asks them hoping there was nothing for them to find. But Rey has not appeared to him in over three days and he isn't sure what has happened since then. He has to know if this is credible.

Hux’s eyes are trained on him with that glint in his eye. He knew Ben was losing to his emotions.

“We tracked her down to Kashyyyk yesterday,” at the mention of the planet Ben brings another gloved hand to Hux’s throat and his eyes go glassy with unshed tears. He wants to strangle the life out of him. “But she and the wookiee left on a shuttle last night so we’re tracking them down. We think she’s headed to Takodana. We should be there soon enough,” Danskee reveals.

“What the fuck have you done?” he whispers to Hux.

“Just acting in the best interest of the First Order...unlike some,” Hux manages with a sinister smirk.  

Ben throws him into the nearest control panel with a loud scream. Everyone stands back and Ben faces the hologram once again. “Whatever this man has told you or promised to pay you is a lie. The First Order has no interest in what that woman does. She is no concern of mine and if you pursue her in any way you will be hunted down as the murderers you are.”

Danskee holds up his hands, “Listen, I understand you’re upset and we won’t chase after her if you don’t want us to. But we already lost a member of our crew trying to apprehend the wookiee. I think we deserve a little compensation for our efforts. Especially since we have extremely valuable information concerning the woman.” Ben pales. If it’s money he wants to be on his way and to leave Rey alone he would pay him, but his tone is unsettling. 

“I will not hear any-” he tries to speak. Danskee shouts over him to announce in the most despicable way possible:

“The bitch is pregnant! She's knocked up and-” Ben ignites his saber with an infuriated scream, attempting to silence the man before he can speak any further. He thrashes at the control panel, sparks flying everywhere until the transmission ends. The blue glow of the hologram is gone but it's already too late. His shallow breaths, the crackling of his saber, and the wide eyes of the other officers are all that remain.

The damage is done.

Everyone on the bridge now knows that Rey is pregnant. His outburst not only with Hux but his reaction to the man’s vile words about Rey and his daughter confirms his involvement to them all. It was painfully obvious. His soul is ripped bare before them and Ben can hardly breathe.

_Fuck._

He needs to get out of there. Now.

Ben holds out his lightsaber as he eases his way past everyone and towards the turbolift. They all stand back, eyebrows to their hairlines and hands held up in surrender.

He can hardly believe this is happening. He only hopes he can make it off this ship to find Rey in time. Everyone in this room heard the name Takodana which Ben knew to be true. It was their designated backup plan. Were something to go wrong they would go to Maz. 

That situation was never supposed to happen though. Kashyyyk was supposed to be safe.

As he's about to approach the doors, Ben hears a strangled groan come from the other side of the room and he sees Hux has made his way to his feet.

That cockroach never died.

He gives a laugh but blood drips from his split lip, “Well, it seems you’re clumsier than I thought Ren. I really believed everything was done for just now, but your stupidity knows no bounds. I daresay your spawn will have much to be ashamed of.”

Ben is about to charge for him, end his life with a strike to the neck until his head rolls away from his body. But then the lights of the room go red and the deafening alarms sound off. He snaps his head over to Commander Lennox. He has activated the lockdown sequence. That meant the doors of the hangar would be sealed within the next three minutes and it was over thirty flights down. If he was still inside when those doors closed he knew he would never make it off this ship.

He glances back at Hux and knows there is no time to end him the way he wishes to. Instead, he holds out his hand and brings it down in a fist, the ceiling above Hux crashing with it. Suddenly blaster fire is closing in on him and he deflects them all back to the officers firing at him as he moves into the turbolift. Several fall back while other duck behind other various panels.

The doors finally close and Ben presses the button that takes him to the hangar, hoping he would make it out in time.

 

Hux lays buried beneath the destruction that Ren attempted to bury him in, but he is not dead. Hardly. Despite the lack of feeling he has in his right arm and a pounding headache, he knows that Ren has exposed himself for who he really is.

Perhaps his own plan did not go accordingly but this may as well be a success. Ren was running off to find the girl who was apparently pregnant. And even more, they knew where she was headed. 

Takodana.

He loses consciousness as he is pulled from the wreckage by Lennox and the other surviving officers but when he wakes he will have a new title.

_Supreme Leader._

  

Ben emerged from the turbolift to see the red light cloaked the entire hangar. The lockdown alarms sounded off even louder in the large space and Ben winced as every blare hurt his ears. The stormtroopers, unaware of the cause of the lockdown, are lining up in their protocol positions and squadrons. He rushes past all of them and sprints to his TIE Silencer, the massive doors closing in on him. 

He jumps in the cockpit and prepares the ion engines. The ship has hardly hummed to life as a calm robotic voice echoes out through the entire Absolution, _“Attention. A full lockdown is currently in effect. A suspect is attempting to flee. The arrest of Kylo Ren is priority n_ _umber one. Thank you and have a nice day.”_ The message repeats itself, going in a loop.

The stormtroopers that were stationed so militantly a minute ago are now scrambling for anything they could do to keep him from lifting his TIE from the ground. But as his Silencer comes fully online and Ben surges forward, he knows there is little they could do now. His craft was meant to override whatever the tower might have tried to restrict.

He races past the gravity and oxygen shields as he enters space with seconds to spare as blaster fire chases after him with horrendous and nervous precision. The doors seal behind him and not a single TIE is in pursuit.

He fishes for the beacon from beneath his tunic and pulls it away, the string snapping. He plugs it into the hyperdrive and hardly gives the ship enough time to prepare before it rips through the blackness of space, forming a tunnel of blue and white light in hyperspace. The otherwise soothing colors are still not enough to cease his panic.

He looked down at the destination from the beacon as they were entered on his screen. Sure enough, it was for Takodana and not Kashyyyk. This was all real. Ben hadn’t even checked where it was taking him before he jumped, he thought for sure he would be blown to pieces but he's still breathing.

He covers his face with his gloved hands in anguish as a dry sob rips through him. He feels so stupid. He should have sensed this. Even just then, he should have handled that better. His emotions, his anger, his need to protect them overcame him and he lost it. Any survivors on that bridge would be spreading the information to rest of the Order and Ben knew it was only a matter of time before they made it to Takodana too. If he could find Rey and get away before then, they wouldn’t know the first place to look for them.  He had to act fast if he was to keep them safe.

But what if he was too late?

If Rey and Lorelei were taken from him, he would have nothing left. He sat, confined to the cramped cockpit, shaking with fear. He tries to think of the balance that he and Rey exist in. His pull to the center, away from total darkness.  He doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to keep it away if they are lost to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Eurythmics "Here Comes the Rain Again" (which is a total Reylo song!!) when I needed the name of a character so that is why we now have Commander Lennox. Sounds spacey enough I think.


	8. Cluster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to just go ahead and post this right after chapter 7 because I'm weak and I know the cliffhangers are annoying. I'm also trying to get to the meat of the story here *cough baby time cough* so you can probably tell I'm impatient. 
> 
> Again, this chapter feels like a mess but I guess I'm not really a writer. As the title for this chapter suggests, it's a bit of a cluster fuck.

 

Xid had received a transmission from Commander Lennox, a man he had never met, who passed on a message from the events that transpired on the Absolution moments earlier.  Kylo had fled the First Order after a bounty hunter revealed he was hunting the woman down. 

Xid had to refrain from smacking his head against the nearest wall.

He knew when Hux suggested involving bounty hunters things would get messy. The crew had tracked her down to Kashyyyk but their crack-handed actions meant they were discovered and the girl and the wookiee seemingly escaped to Takodana.

And then there was the matter of news he had yet to really process. The woman was pregnant with Kylo’s child. A pathetically predictable turn of events. Xid should have expected this much. Any dwindling guilt he might have had committing himself to Hux’s mutiny was instantly dissipated. The other knights along with himself understood that Kylo was a traitor in every sense of the word. He was everything they sought to destroy.

Xid knew Kylo was headed to Takodana. Commander Lennox made that very clear in his rather frantic message. He would go wherever he believed the girl to be. Xid knew that he had only a short amount of time to get there before him. He was closer to the Western Reaches than where Ren had been on the Absolution. For a brief amount of time, he held the advantage and he would make it count.

There would be no time to contact the other Knights though. Instead, Xid had spoken to Danskee himself. The bounty hunter had been eager to remove himself and his crew from the situation and seemed frazzled after his interaction with Kylo Ren. Equally eager to be rid of him, Xid asked for the coordinates from their tracker. They obliged but only after Xid forwarded their full payment. A small price to pay to get the exact location of the girl.

It was so strange that the place where Kylo first found her would be where she was chased down once again. If she thought Takodana was being kind to her, she wasn’t paying attention. The woman had come full circle it seemed, only this time Kylo was the prey as well. If he lost her now, he would do anything to release her.

As Xid loads up on the transport with the death troopers behind him he thinks how regardless of how this operation goes, Kylo would no longer be the Supreme Leader. With Kylo’s inevitable death, the loathsome actions he had taken with the First Order will die with him. Along with the false Jedi.

He wonders though, just briefly, what will be done with the child. Surely with the bloodline of its parents, it would prove to be a worthy enough student. Xid thinks with enough training under himself and the other knights, this abhorrent mistake could grow to be everything their father failed to become.

But those ideas would have to wait until he had the girl in custody. Surely Hux would have some thoughts on the matter and he could consult with him when appropriate. The galaxy was technically now under Hux's reign and Xid is surprised to find himself relieved at the concept.

How strange that the man everyone thought was useless would be exactly what this galaxy needed.

 

* * *

 

 

Chewie had brought her to the safehouse on Takodana. When Rey got a hold of Maz a few months ago, she spoke of a house in the mountains she used to occasionally occupy with her husband hundreds of years ago. “Ancient history”, as she called it. She gave Chewie the coordinates and they were to relocate there in case Kashyyyk was compromised. Which of course, as of yesterday, had been the case.

When Chewie barreled into her room last night claiming some bounty hunters had found them and they needed to leave, she thought she was having a heart attack. They loaded up on an anonymous shuttle, loaned to them by Chewie’s neighbor, and made their way to Takodana.

But Ben had yet to appear to her. Last she spoke to him was several days ago but she had no way to tell him of the bounty hunters otherwise. She was desperately waiting for the bond to cooperate with them. But it wasn't. She couldn't get ahold of him.

She was exhausted to begin with. But then she hardly slept last night, kept awake by strange pains. Pains that only seemed to increase in frequency and discomfort with the passing hours.

Rey takes another series of deep breaths. Looking out at the vast mountainous scenery did nothing to ease her discomfort. The sharp jabs of pain in her lower half persist and she winces. It was getting worse, harder to ignore. She leans over a bit and rubs a hand to her belly, hoping the movement might soothe the pressure there.

 _Not yet. Please...not yet_ , she tells her baby.

She takes deep breaths until she feels her heartbeat slow down a little. She finally manages to sit up a little straighter and uncurl her fingers, the impressions of her nails deep in her skin. This was happening too often and she knew she couldn’t lie to herself for much longer. She takes a few moments to just deflate against the table in the fairly large room.

She is alone.

Chewie dropped her off before he went to the castle to go get Maz. Chewie had been reluctant to leave her after their close call with the bounty hunters but Rey insisted he go get Maz.  She thought that in her solitude she might be able to find the focus she needed to reach out to Ben but that now seemed fruitless. Her condition making that near impossible apparently.

And it wasn’t until after the wookiee had left that Rey realized they hadn’t brought MX into the house. She was still deactivated and on the shuttle.

Needless to say, Rey was scared. She gets to her feet, her legs wishing to pace, attempting to offer her any possible distraction.

Except when she stands she feels the foreign sensation of a pop within her. Suddenly, her legs feel wet and she looks down to see she’s standing in a puddle of water.

“Oh fuck."

 

* * *

 

 

Chewie had landed the ship close to Maz’s castle at the edge of the forest. He is frightfully paranoid about leaving Rey by herself and curses himself for allowing it, but they had so few options and Rey was honestly terrifying when pregnant and he didn’t want to defy her. So, he runs up the steps to the reconstructed castle to find Maz.

The castle was now partially restored but it did not look the way it once did. It was no longer had that same charm of looking like a structure that was built a thousand years ago. It was nice though, seemed a little more structurally sound at least with a steel structure. Not that Chewie had the time to admire such things now. He strides through the front room, trying to look more composed than he actually is while he searches for Maz.

He finds her behind the bar ducked inside a cabinet searching for something, “Maz!” he roared.

She jolts in her surprise and hits her head against the inside of the small space, “Kriff!” she curses. She pulls away from the cabinet with a bottle in her hand. She mutters under her breath but as she turns around to see Chewie standing there looking wild, her eyes go wide beneath her goggles. The bottle of whiskey slips from her hand and it shatters on the floor. No one seems to notice though as the noise is drowned by all the other rambunctious sounds.

“We need to talk,” he groans as lowly as he can.

“Come with me,” she says quietly as she steps over the glass on the ground, seemingly forgotten. She pulls him down a series of hallways until they are in a quiet room. All other voices echoing from the castle are muffled behind a large door. “Where’s Rey? Is she okay?”

“She’s at the house already. She’s fine, I think...just stressed out. This hasn’t been easy.” Rey seemed much more agitated this morning but he had attributed it to the uneasy situation and her eagerness to speak with Ben. It was understandable that she would be tense.

“What happened? Why didn’t you contact me sooner?” Maz asks him in an almost scolding tone. She isn’t mad at him, just taken aback by the sudden turn of events. She had spoken with Rey about a week ago and everything seemed fine. It is clear that was no longer the case.

“We were found by some bounty hunters. They knew we would be in the Falcon so we took another shuttle. I didn’t call ahead in case the transmission could get picked up by someone else. It seemed too risky.”

Maz brings her hands to her head in utter shock. She believed Takodana to be much more compromising than Kashyyyk. Too many eyes. Too many seedy beings looking to make quick credits. She had a horrible feeling about this. “And Ben? Has she spoken to him since this all happened?”

“No. She said she needed to be alone so she could try to reach out to him. Meditate or something,” he tries to recall her words from earlier.

“Alright, well we should go. I don’t want her alone right now.” Maz’s eyes go a little wider at the prospect that Rey was by herself in the middle of the mountains. Chewie nods and opens the door again while Maz grabs a backpack.

“The ship is just beyond the treeline,” he tells her, “It shouldn’t take-” Chewie’s groans are halted suddenly by the frantic words of ME-8D9, Maz’s longtime loyal protocol droid.

"Madam Kanata, excuse me, but a matter of utmost urgency demands your attention."

“Emmie, what is it? Now isn’t a good time,” Maz nearly shouts at her.

“Apologies, but it seems a First Order shuttle has landed in the vicinity of the castle.”

“Ben?” Maz gasps as she looks to Chewie, “What an idiot, he knows better than to show up in front of every-”

“It is not Ben Solo, I’m afraid,” the droid tells them. Both Chewie and Maz freeze.

“Who?” Chewie moans, afraid of the answer.

“It seems to be a small number of stormtroopers and a leader who I do not recognize. The troopers look very strange though. Different than the ones from before.”

“Those beasts. How did they get here so fast?” Maz looks back to Chewie.

“They must have tracked us by the ship! The kriffing bounty hunters must have tagged us!” he moans. 

“We’ll take the Epoch instead,” Maz decides and they rush for outside. She feels her heart hammer in her chest and her hands are shaking. Chewie isn’t handling it well either. His hold over this little family was so important to him. The urge to protect them was fierce. 

They make their way back through the bar and are about to go outside but are stopped when they see the line of black-clad storm troopers blocking the entrance down by the steps.

Chewie gives a low growl in a shyriiwook curse that Maz has no idea how to translate in a basic tongue, but it is foul enough to apply to the situation.  

 

* * *

 

 

They land near to the castle where Danskee’s tracker has led them. They find the ship not far hidden behind the trees. Xid orders several of the troops to create a perimeter around the castle. No one would go anywhere without getting past them. It was likely that if the wookiee and the girl were not inside the ship they were already inside the structure.

Xid and a few other troopers load up onto the small shuttle to investigate its contents. There is no one inside as he had suspected but he wishes to see for himself what secrets the space might have held.

“What’s this?” says the trooper behind him. Xid turns to see he’s looking down at a rather strange droid. It’s deactivated for now but is one of most peculiar design.

Xid runs his hands along the padded appendages of the machine before another trooper speaks up, “That’s a midwife droid. I’m sure of it.”

“Indeed it is. It seems those claims from earlier are further proven true. The woman is with child,” Xid says in disgust. Curious what would happen, he activates the droid and instantly the ocular sensors go red. The droid erupts from her position on the floor to levitate in the air with a most obvious sense of panic, searching for something.

“Who are you? Where is Madam Rey?” she asks. MX is startled to find upon activation, her sensors indicated her patient was in labor. Only Rey was nowhere to be seen. No one but these cruel looking beings.

“You are her droid, are you not? You aid her and her child?”

“I have no time to answer such nonsense, Madam Rey is in most discomfort.” The droid says these things for herself it seems. But to hear the girl was in pain would mean she’s not going anywhere soon. This droid was the key to finding her.

“Your sensors are tuned in to her vital signs, are they not?”

“Of course they are, you miserable organics!” she snaps at them.

“So you could find her. If we trace where these signals are coming from you could lead us to her, couldn’t you?” Xid asks. The droid instantly freezes her panicked movements but her flashing red glow now radiates to her entire form. Her padded mittens even flare a crimson hue and Xid knows it means her programming is screaming to be with the mother in need. That must mean her time has come.

How convenient. 

“No. You mean to hurt her," MX says back to him. 

Xid clicks his tongue as if to shame her, “You know, if she is in pain and is not aided soon, she could die on her own. You will be responsible for their deaths. Both the mother and the child,” he tells her, believing it will break through whatever loyalty the droid might have held to this woman.

MX listens to his words in great conflict and she knew they were true. Rey and her baby very well could die in childbirth if she was alone. To knowingly deprive her of medical attention was against her programming.

But MX was aware of why Rey was in such a situation. Rey had spoken of who she was as well as the father of her child often. He was the Supreme Leader. Not that MX was at up to date with the current political state of the galaxy.

She knew well enough though that it would put both Rey and her child in great danger. Whoever these creatures were, they wished to see them dead.

MX had to either risk Rey’s survival by birthing the child herself and remaining in hiding, or she could rush to her side and watch as these monsters would most likely kill her and the child anyway.

For the first time since her construction, MX denies her sole purpose. Rey and the baby had higher chances of survival if MX stayed away and instead remained with these brutes, “I will not lead you to them. I will carry the responsibility in the event of their death. A preferable outcome to whatever you plan to do to them.”

Xid narrows his eyes and grits his teeth. Of course this girl managed to find the one med droid in the galaxy that chose honor over their designed purpose. He holds out his hand and shoves the droid out of the ship with a swipe at the air, bending the force to his will. This girl was right within their reach and he refused to leave Takodana empty-handed.

 

* * *

 

 

Chewie and Maz watch from the castle with quadnocs as they see the troopers in the distance are accompanied by another dark figure, “I think that’s one of the knights,” Maz says.

“As in ‘Knights of Ren’ kind of knight?” Chewie moans.

“Yes, that kind,” she says. They see him push something out of the trees and out into the open. Chewie almost howls at the sight of it, “What is it?” she asks him.

“That’s Emmex. She’s the midwife droid. I thought I left her with Rey. I must have forgotten to unload her,” he smacks his own head to punish himself.

Maz focuses closer on the droid that is levitating above the dirt. She looked absolutely frantic, even for a droid, “Is she supposed to be all red like that. Her sensors are flaring like crazy,” she looks to Chewie but his eyes are blown wide and he looks like he’s about to pass out, “Please tell me that doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

Chewie can’t even respond, he just holds a hand to his chest as if his heart had stopped beating. That was answer enough.

“Kriff. We got to go! We have to get to her!” Maz stands immediately.

“How?” Chewie croaks.

“I’ve got an idea.” Maz marches down from their perch back down to the bar with Chewie following her. She pushes past the legs of those blocking her path as she makes her way to the table in the middle of the big room. She stands on top of it and fires her blaster off into the ceiling. Any remaining chatter ceased instantly as all the patrons saw Maz Kanata breaking one of her own rules.

Some of them turned back to see if the troopers barricading them inside had noticed but they remained stationed outside. She takes a few deep breaths while Chewie came to stand beside her. Even with her on the table, he was taller than her.

“Listen, I know you’re all concerned by those folks outside. You can all rest assured that they are not here in search of any of you.” Maz sees several raised shoulders sink in relief. She knew her patrons were not the most ethical or morally inclined clientele but that never bothered her before. Not as long as everyone followed the rules. But these colorful batch of characters were exactly what she needed right now. Rey was out there and needed help. Maz was willing to let her castle be destroyed a second time if that meant she could get to her.  

“However, I have a favor to ask.” Several lean forward, eager to hear what she is going to say. “Any of you who can manage to kill, maim, or even just distract those fragging First Order dip shits outside will never have to pay for another drink in this bar.”

Nobody moves at first. There are a few laughs though. The laugh made when something is too ridiculous to be true.

But then one rodian speaks up, “What about the rule?” he points to the wall behind the bar where "No Fighting" is written who knows how many times in who knows how many languages.

Maz stomps on the surface of the table and for a brief moment, she feels like a true pirate again, “Rules are meant to be broken in our most desperate times. In _my_ time of need, I need _your_ help. I need you to fight!”

“And if we do, we never have to pay for drinks again?” a frenk woman asks.

“Never again,” she holds up her hand in a pledge even though her eyes roll on their own accord. Of course, the promise of free alcohol is what got most riled up in situations like this.

Several of them rise to their feet and they all seem to have that gleam in their eyes that tells Maz what she needs to know. Soon enough, everyone is stampeding for the doors with ferocious and determined snarls.

Chewie steps in front of where Maz stands so she can grab on to his shoulder. This way she won’t have to strain her legs to keep up with him. She grips her hands in his fur they head out for the Epoch Swift.

_Hold on, my dear. We’re coming for you._

 

* * *

 

 

DT-4906 stood behind Master Xid from where he was questioning the droid. He looked like he was about to rip her circuits out. In his frustration, he deactivates the droid and she plummets to the ground from where she hovered in the air.

"Load her up on the shuttle. Maybe we can plug her into the navigational system and see if it leads us to the girl. In the meantime, we'll raid the castle for..."

Master Xid is interrupted by a sudden roar of voices and trampling feet. DT looks back at the castle to see waves of creatures oozing out of every crevice charging right for them. They were far more determined looking than he would think a bunch of drunkards capable of. He and the other death troopers ready their weapons and Master Xid prepares his lightsaber. 

 _Damn smugglers and pirates_.

More and more keep coming until they are completely swarmed. DT chatters with the other troopers and they step into action. As they get into formation DT sees a lone ship rise from the other side of the castle and disappear into the unknown distance.

He hears Xid growl in anger behind him.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So kind of another cliffhanger. Next chapter will be back to primarily Rey and Ben focus since she seems to be inconveniently giving birth.


	9. Labor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by the song "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush. If Ben's Silencer has a radio you can bet he was listening to this on repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you so much to everyone who is commenting, bookmarking, and leaving kudos. It absolutely makes my day. I'm honestly so surprised that anyone is reading this at all so thank you for showing interest.
> 
> As for this chapter, we end with an extra person because lo and behold Rey has the baby. In case you couldn't tell from the tags I have no knowledge of childbirth beyond what I've seen from movies and "Call the Midwife" so this is rather messy.
> 
> *Heads up, there are also some references to Rey's memories from Chapter 3 in case anyone forgot who Katarina or E'di is and wants a refresher.

 

After Rey finally managed to move from where she stood in the puddle, she rushed over to her backpack. She knew there was nothing it held that could truly help her now. Still, she was determined in her search despite that her hands were shaking and her vision was blurred with tears.

Rey pulls out the black tunic she cherished so much and the glowing beacon that connects to Ben’s. This was the closest she could get to him right now and if she was to be alone, she at least wanted something of his.

Rey pushes back up to her feet and moves to the kitchen. She throws drawers open and rummages frantically until she finds a pair of scissors. She would need something to cut the cord when the time came. Rey turns again, objects in hand, to find somewhere that would be comfortable enough to have a baby.

What a terrifying concept.

Tears spring from her eyes at the absolute surrealism of the situation and her heart pounds in her ears. Decided, however, she waddles down the hallway in search of a bedroom.

_“What’s happening? Does she have the fever?”_

Rey halts as she suddenly hears the beginnings of that horrible memory.

 _“No, she’s pregnant,”_ E’di’s voice sounds so clear. Rey whips her head around fully expecting to see the older scavenger but no, she's still alone. Rey didn't think she could possibly find a way to be relieved about her solitude but she is now. 

Those ghosts can't hurt her. They are in the past...she hopes.

Behind the last door at the end of the hallway, Rey finds a small bedroom. She cried at the sight of the soft bed and rushed towards it. Rey eases back on the edge of the mattress and places the beacon and scissors on the nightstand. She holds Ben’s tunic to her chest which gives her tears a new place to land.

 _“Rey, please. No one else will help her,”_ E’di’s voice says again, somehow louder this time. 

A sob escapes her then, and it is not from the pain she feels mounting again, but rather from the torment of her mind. Rey tries to block voices and the visions out. She needs to if she’s going to make it through this. Moving back against the headboard, she pushes pillows to where she needs the support. She briefly finds comforting relief from her lower back but then the full force of the next contraction hits her.

It was agony.

Regardless of what Rey wished, her daughter was coming now and nothing was stopping that. Whimpers leave her lips and she despises how they sound. They remind her too much of Katarina’s cries of woe. It wasn’t helping to keep her fears at bay.

Her eyes shut tightly as she tries to control her breathing. MX had said endlessly that breathing was so important and Rey wishes she was here to at least tell her everything was going normally. Although Rey had been irritated with the droid in the past few months she would have done anything to have her here now. 

The contraction passes and Rey’s moans are replaced with panting breaths and occasional sobs. She tries to keep her eyes open. If she closes them she sees nothing but the cloth walls of the tent surround her, bathed in that foreboding orange glow of the lantern.

Rey had told Ben months ago how worried she was that Katarina’s fate could be her own. She has been terrified since she first felt Lorelei that she wouldn’t be able to protect her. Ben had told her endlessly that she would always keep her safe and Rey wanted so badly to believe him. She imagines his hand in hers and his lips on her temple as if he was right beside the bed.

She wants him more than anything. 

Rey pulls her dress up over her stomach. She places her sweaty and shaking hands over where her daughter is and tries to reach out to her, to sense where she is. MX mentioned that she would need to push but only when the baby was ready. She still has a ways to go. Lorelei isn’t ready yet. 

But the next pain comes. They were getting so close together. Too close.

Even the calm humming of the beacon beside her can offer her no solace.

  

Ben is preparing to leave hyperspace.

He’s been shaking with fear in the cramped cockpit as he desperately tries to reach out for Rey. The bond has been so strange since Rey got pregnant. He used to see her sometimes two or three times a day, but Lorelei’s growth had affected it drastically. The energy of Rey’s body was dedicated to the baby which meant their bond, as well as the force within Rey, would be strained until she was born.

Ben believed it was necessary. If it meant their daughter was healthy then it would be worth it, even if he missed Rey constantly.

Now though, Ben feels a twinge at the center of his mind. It’s where Rey’s signature usually melds with his own. Only this time he feels just the essence of her. It's the briefest reveal of Rey but he takes what he can get.

 _I'm coming! Hold on!_ he tries to tell her but she can't hear him. Her connection is too weak. She feels dim he notices.

She's in pain. _Suffering_ , he realizes.

At first, he thinks she's been found. He was too late and some despicable being is hurting not only Rey but also his daughter. He growls out in refusal as he reaches further to try and sense the baby.

Yet, she is fine. She does not share her mother's distress. He feels how bright Lorelei’s light is. It’s different from all the other times he’s felt her. Her signature is as familiar to him now as Rey’s, but something was changing.  Usually, Lorelei was surrounded in Rey’s signature, but now she was becoming her own separate light. She was not in pain as Rey was. She was glowing brighter and warmer than he ever felt from her.

Realization hits him hard in the chest as the ship rips out of lightspeed.

Rey was in labor.

The planet of Takodana fills his eyes. Ben descends to the atmosphere, his stomach dropping from both the momentum of the craft and his newfound knowledge of Rey's condition.

The computer chirps in near arrival to the coordinates and he races toward them. The speed of his ship causing the trees below him to sway from the ferocity he carries with him.

The mountain range is soon within reach and he sees the house perched near a cliff.

She’s there.

 

 

Rey knows it’s impossible but she could swear she feels Ben. Maybe she was hallucinating. Or maybe her mind was just trying to comfort her, knowing what she wanted. She feels too weak to reach out to it but it’s reassuring to know it’s there anyway.

She breathes as well as she can between the pains. She uses the time as best she can to conserve her energy.

She knew it wouldn’t be much longer before Chewie and Maz returned. If anything went wrong, or more wrong than it already has, then they would have MX and she would certainly know how to help her and Lorelei.

Rey hears a ship fly overhead, only it doesn’t sound like the shuttle she heard Chewie fly away on. It sounds nimble, almost like...ion engines. Like the ones of a TIE.

She fears the First Order has found her. The horrible memory of those creatures that came for Katarina shoot through her mind. The shouting, the screams, the bones snapping. It’s happening all over again.

This bed was no better than those dirty rags over the sand. It didn’t make a difference in the end. They found her anyway.

“No, please!” she breathes out.

Someone barges through the door. Rey clutches a hand to her stomach, the most protection she could offer Lorelei in their compromising position. She shudders a breath before she hears her name, “Rey!”

Relief floods her entire self. Even the pain in her body seemed to recede slightly.

“Ben!”

He’s here. Ben found her.

There are hurried footsteps and the sound of boots skidding around the corner until he practically flies into the room.

His eyes are red and he looks absolutely devastated to see her all alone but she has never been so relieved to see him, which was really saying something.

A strange strangled groan escapes him before he collapses on his knees beside the bed so his face is in front of hers. Gloved hands cup her face, holding her eyes for a moment, “Fuck, Rey. I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," he cries as he apologizes profusely.

If Rey had the energy she would have told him to shut up. 

Ben’s heart aches to find her all alone. Rey has had to do this by herself and he is filled with so much guilt.

He had raced here, thinking he was going to stop people from hurting Rey, but really, he was the reason she was in so much pain. He was responsible for the absolute torture she was in and he feels so helpless.

He did this to her.

Rey’s eyelids are half closed, there’s sweat on her brow and she’s absolutely exhausted but she can't help but smile anyway, “You’re here,” she breathes out in awe.

“I’m here. I’ve got you.”

He leans back to look down at her. Her round stomach exposed from the cover of her dress. He removes his hand from hers for a moment to take off his gloves. He rests one hand on her stomach searching for Lorelei.

The instant he makes contact he gasps. This was the first time he’s really touched Rey in nine months. This is the first time he’s connected with his daughter that has not been through the bond and her light seems even brighter in person.

It seems so surreal to think that this light belonged to their baby.

He feels Rey’s hand reach for his face, her thumb running past his scar the way she always does, “I know,” she whispers. Her mind is too exhausted to hear his thoughts probably, but she can read him well enough just looking at him. She knows what he’s feeling.

Ben can hear her thoughts though and in the midst of this chaos and agony, _He'll be such a good father_ , floats through her mind.

His heart brims with so much love for her and it distracts him momentarily from his panic as he leaned down to kiss her.

“I love you,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Love you,” she breathed back.

And then she winces as she feels the next contraction approach. She presses a hand to her stomach, as does Ben, and they both sense that Lorelei is positioned where she needs to be.

Rey had to start pushing.

Ben brushes her hair back and presses a kiss to her forehead, “Everything is gonna be okay.” He desperately hopes that’s true. He knows there are a plethora of things that are very much not “okay” but he doesn’t want her to worry about anything but the baby.

She nods at his words and Ben jumps to action. 

Ben had spent a lot of time in the past months studying up about maternity, midwifery, and infant care. All of which were foreign to him before Rey’s pregnancy. He had read up about such things to ease his worry about Rey on her own. Naturally, his stress only increased further after learning about everything that could go wrong.  But now, he is grateful for his studious nature as he recalls what he’s discovered about childbirth.

Ben moves to the end of the bed between her open legs. He braces a sweaty hand over her knee as the other reaches forward to hold tight to one of her own hands. Her eyes shut tight in her throes of pain. His chest aches knowing he can't offer her immediate relief. All he can do now is try to help her through this as much as he can. 

“I need you to push, sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chewie and Maz race through the skies as low as they can. If there’s any other First Order nonsense lurking in the atmosphere they had a better chance at evading them at a lower altitude. Maz steers the ship as she can locate the house in the mountains without the aid of coordinates or navigational computers.

The familiar controls of the Epoch Swift are as they’ve always been, but everything seems so frazzled at the moment. Maz's hands shake ever so slightly as she thinks of Rey.

Maz had helped hundreds of mothers who had found themselves in her castle at the time of delivery. Some more intense than others. The process varied greatly between species but human mothers always had a most difficult time in childbirth.

They needed comfort and to know that everything would be okay. Rey was deprived of both of those luxuries now. It made Maz’s stomach drop just to imagine.

Chewie has been eerily quiet since they loaded on to the ship and Maz knows he isn’t doing much better than herself. He sits in the seat beside her. For once his hands are not fiddling with the controls of a ship. Instead, they run nervously through his fur.

“I shouldn’t have left her. I knew something was wrong…” Chewie groans, “...but if I didn’t, they would have found her instantly.”

“Exactly. That’s why it was good you came to me. Better they make a mess at the castle than take Rey. If you hadn’t come to me, we would have lost them.”

“We still might. She’s alone Maz!”

“I know. Believe me, I know that! She’s probably experiencing more pain and fear then what I would wish on most of my enemies.” At this Chewie moans and buries his face in his hands, “But if anyone could do it, it’s Rey. I’m sure of that. If she could help bring that boy back to us, she can do anything.”

Maz believed that.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey thought she would have been used to the pain by now but it was absolutely excruciating and only getting worse. Her insides felt like they housed swords and everything hurts in ways she didn't think a person could possibly hurt. 

She looks down every so often and sees Ben sweating and wiping his worried brow against the shoulder of his tunic. She knew he had read about this, curious as to how this all works. She had loaned him some of her maternity holos and admired how much concern he held for her and the wellbeing of the baby. He probably never thought he would need to put that knowledge to use though.

Ben is counting for her, trying to keep track of how long she pushes. She doesn't know how many they've done by now. She just knows it feels like too many.

Time feels so strange. It seems to drag on forever and she can feel dwindling strength amount to so little. She may as well have been doing this for days it was so grueling.

Ben senses her exhaustion, “One more, Rey. One more and it’s over. I promise.”

Ben was very cautious with that word: _promise_. 

On Jakku, she counted her entire life on a promise that was never even made. Ben knew it was not to be taken lightly. That is why Rey believes him now. He wouldn’t say that to her now unless it were true.

 _One more and it’s over..._ She can do that. She could do this.

She grips the sheets again, her knuckles turning white as she pushes with everything she has left to give.

Ben sees his opportunity to help Rey when both shoulders emerge and he gently pulls until he’s holding a squealing baby in his hands.

_Lorelei._

Her little wails echo out through the room. His heart just about stops as he looks down at her.

She fits perfectly in his big hands. She’s screaming and crying and so beautiful. A sob leaves his throat as a grin splits his face.

Rey, having heard Ben, tries to sit up, “What is it? Is she okay?” If Lorelei was hurt, Rey might die from the heartbreak. She peers over to see the wet smile on Ben’s face as he looks down at the little being.

“She’s amazing,” Ben croaks out. Rey sobs out in relief and collapses against the pillows. Ben reaches forward to grab the scissors on the nightstand and cuts the cord. Now separated, he cradles Lorelei to his chest as he looks for something to keep her warm.

“Here,” Rey holds out his old tunic that he just realized was beside her the whole time. It was the same thing Rey had been wearing when Ben first found out she was pregnant and now it would be the first thing their daughter would be wrapped in.

It felt right. 

He takes it from Rey and secures the baby until she’s snug within the fabric. Her wails trail off as she is surrounded by warmth once again. He wipes her face from the fluids still coating her, his fingers brushing past her cheeks. So soft.

Ben stands up and moves over to Rey’s side slowly, ever so cautious with the new life in his arms. Rey looks to the bundle he’s holding. She’s exhausted, but knowing she’s about to hold her baby fills Rey with a new stamina as she holds out her hands. Ben settles Lorelei on her chest and Rey isn’t sure if it's a laugh or cry that leaves her lips.

Lorelei is real.

She’s healthy and breathing and so incredibly beautiful that Rey can barely comprehend it. This is their baby. This is who’s been within her all these months, who she’s been waiting for.

And Rey loves her so much.

Ben leans over Rey and the baby, ignoring how the tile aches his knees just to be close to them. He watches as Rey gets lost in her little features, her tired eyes roving over Lorelei endlessly and always coming back to her tiny face.

He brushes his fingers through Rey’s hair before pressing his lips to her temple and whispering into her ear, “You did so good.”

He closes his eyes for a moment, just allowing his mind to catch up to the direction this day had gone. This morning he woke up as the Supreme Leader. Now he was a father. 

He knew there was much to tell Rey. The fact that they were now likely hunted fugitives was heavy on his mind as he looks down at their baby. He will tell Rey all of that later though. She deserves these first moments with Lorelei to be nothing but blissful.

But then they both tense up as they hear the sound of another approaching ship. Rey’s arms tighten around Lorelei as Ben's arms tighten around Rey.

"Ben?" He's quiet for a moment, reaching out to see who has come. He sighs in relief though as he deflates against her shoulder.

"It's Chewie and Maz."

Rey relaxes her hold on the baby. Her eyes free to wander back down and admire her. So tiny. So perfect.

Moments later, Chewie's frantic roar echoes through the house followed by Maz's voice, "Rey!" 

Ben groans a little. Their momentary quiet disrupted and Rey laughs softly. "Bedroom," he said fairly quietly, relying on the acoustics of the house to carry his message. He didn't want to disturb the baby with such loud noises. 

Chewie and Maz emerge in the doorway to find Ben on the edge of the bed beside Rey and a baby held tenderly in her arms. 

Chewie seems to purr at the sight of them as he takes the cue to stay quiet.

Maz, however, steps forward with her hands held out in near praise as she announces, "Thank the fucking stars!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that for a wildly inaccurate depiction of childbirth. I know there are other things I could have googled or not have glazed over but I wanted to focus more on Rey's mindset and why her PTSD from Jakku would mess with her a little. 
> 
> I think childbirth is one of the most insane and totally terrifying things the female body is capable of. Like what the hell, you can grow and give birth to another person? Holy shit!
> 
> I applaud my own mother for her amazing work in getting me here. Especially because she went through all that pain to have a kid that just spends all her damn time reading and writing reylo fanfiction. What a doozy.


	10. Evaluate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left a kudos, I woke up the other morning to find them over 100 and it makes me so happy to see that people are enjoying this stupid story. 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone that is commenting as well! I get excited to see there are actual comments in my inbox;)
> 
> As far as this chapter goes, it isn't amazing. As usual, I think it's mediocre but it's more of a filler chapter that I needed to write to get where we're going. I could either nitpick at it for days or post it now and start working on the more exciting installments that are yet to come;) Things should kick back in next time but I at least tried to give this a little substance.
> 
> (Quick reminder that they are pronouncing Lorelei like LOR-UH-LAY in this story which kind of ties in with her little nickname that is first established by Chewie in this chapter)

They couldn’t stay long. Maz and Chewie knew their distraction at the castle wouldn’t hold forever and Ben knew it was only a matter of time before the First Order completely overtook the planet’s atmosphere. They would be hunting them down.

Maz checked over Rey to make sure everything is fine, which it was but Rey is undoubtedly exhausted.

Chewie ran ahead to start the ship. Maz rushed over to a closet and pulled out a few folded blankets and tucked them under her arm, “Is there anything else in the house you need, my dear?” she asked Rey.

“I have a backpack in the living room. My lightsaber-”

“Got it,” Maz quickly says as she bolts out of the room.

Ben picked Rey up from the bed and she keeps her own arms held firm to the baby. He presses his lips to her forehead as the movement jostles her lower half, “Sorry.”

He made his way back through the halls of the house until the scenery of Takodana surrounded them once more, Ben can't help but remember the last time he was here. The day he met Rey. He had carried her off the same way then, only it was under vastly different circumstances. He represses a shudder as he remembers all that day carried with it.

Rey despised him then.

Even when he was Kylo Ren he still knew Rey was different. He knew something was about to change when he first saw her in the forest. Strange memories had surfaced as he looked at her then. Himself as a young boy at his desk, frantically drawing the beautiful face from his dreams. The girl with no name who wandered the sands. He knew it meant something, he just didn’t know what.

But he knows now.

He looks down to Rey who is slumped against his shoulder, arms are held tight around the bundle.

Their baby.

Everything was leading to this it seemed. He held his family in his arms and he would do anything to keep them there forever. He would stop at nothing to protect them from the dangers that were all too real.

He steps a little faster as he thinks of what Maz had said. There was apparently death troopers already at the castle. One of the Knights was there as well. The betrayal does not strike him as too surprising. Hux had most likely gotten through to them. Whatever loyalty Ben thought that he still had with them was obviously lost.

They had tracked the ship as well it seemed, or had gotten the coordinates from Danskee himself. And although Ben was horrified that Rey was alone during labor, at least Chewie and the shuttle were elsewhere and she had not been discovered by anyone but himself.

His hurried steps do not go unnoticed by the baby and her little sputtering cries begin. His heart tugs at the sound. She is afraid, he can feel it. Her signature fits between his own and Rey’s, keeping her safe even in the force. He can feel her confusion, her fear, and even how she was a little cold. The mountain gusts of wind do not help since she is only protected by his old shirt.

Rey moans as he rushes along and he knows her entire body is incredibly sore and tender. He apologizes endlessly, “Sorry. Shit, sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, kriff Ben…” she mumbles. Her remaining energy was fading.

He steps up on the ramp to see Maz waiting at the top. Once he is up she closes the doors and directs him around to a room with a wide bunk, “Lay them down over there.”

Ben moves forward to do so and he hears Maz call to Cheiwe. “All loaded back here. You’re clear to go!” The steel beneath his boot vibrates as they take off. He isn’t sure where they’re going but at least the First Order won’t either.

Once Rey’s head lays upon the pillow Ben eases the crying baby from her arms, “I got her,” he says and she thanks him as her eyes drift close finally. He hopes she will feel better when she wakes up.

Ben shushes Lorelei softly until her cries become just whimpers. He sits beside Rey on the edge of the bed, expecting the ship’s jump to lightspeed which comes moments later. They were clear of Takodana.

Finally, he releases a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. They were safe...for now.

Maz rushed back in with an arm full of things, baby things, “Alright, let’s see what we got here.” She drops the objects into a pile at the foot of the bed and shuffles through them until she finds something she deems worthy enough for recognition.

Ben lays Lorelei down on the blanket and they wipe her clean of any remaining fluids from birth before Maz puts the diaper on. She tells Ben she will do it this once so he can see how it is done but after that, he’s on his own. Maz is surprised to be rewarded with a Ben Solo smile she hadn’t seen since he was a boy.

She passes him the gray pajamas she had pulled from the pile. They were a little big for a newborn but was at least more fitting than a black tunic made for a man who stood about two meters tall. She watches in amusement as he figures out how to fit the little creature in the fabric before he buttons her up, “She’s gorgeous, Ben.” His smile grows wider.

“I know.” Maz can see how far gone he already is. She was worried when Rey first told her who the father was that history might repeat itself. Han was a great man, but he was not ready to be a father. The day Ben was born, Han fainted. Maz thought for sure at least that premonition would be true, but no. This man actually got his hands dirty and delivered the baby himself and got Rey through labor. That was a level of commitment that Maz hadn’t seen in many. But Ben and Rey were something else.

They transcended any superficial labels that normal people held for each other when they were in love. These kids were in a league of their own. That was a given considering the force literally connected them from across the galaxy.

Now dressed, Lorelei’s whines fade into silence as she is much warmer now. Ben leans down to kiss her cheeks. He holds her little hands with his larger ones. Her palms are smaller than his lips he notices as he kisses them softly. Everything so tiny and soft.

He wraps her in one of the knitted blankets and holds her close to his chest. He sat back on the bed near the wall so his back could lean against something. Rey lies sleeping beside him but Ben is relieved to see her resting after everything she had been through. She had been amazing in getting Lorelei here and she deserved some much-needed rest.

He honestly forgets that Maz was standing there watching him as she steps forward to admire the baby in his arms. She hums a little laugh as she looks down, “She reminds me so much of you when you were this size,” she says, “Black hair. Big ears. Even those big brown orbs are yours. Very beautiful.” She gives him a light pat on the cheek in congratulations.

She was right. Lorelei’s eyes fluttered open to reveal dark brown eyes quite similar to his own. It was so surreal to see so many parts of yourself in another person, especially when she also had so many things he recognized from Rey too, “Thank you, Maz.”

“She got a name? Besides little Solo, I mean,” Ben doesn’t know what’s become of him. Something that would have made him roll his eyes before now sounds so fitting. Thinking of her as _Lorelei Solo_ made his heart soar for some reason. He wrangles himself back to answer Maz with a smile on his face.

“Lorelei.” He has said it to himself endlessly over the past few months but this is the first time he’s said it out loud since she was born. Her light glows brightly as if she recognizes her own name and Ben is further astonished at all he can sense from her in the force. She was Ben's new beacon, guiding him.

Even before she was born did Lorelei help guide him. So much like Rey.

 _Like her mother_ , he corrects himself.

Rey was now a mother and he was now a father. And perhaps they have been for nine months already, but this feels so shockingly real. The vision that he dreamt of night after night was now cradled warmly in his arms.

“ _Lorelei_...That’s lovely. Reminds me of your mother,” Maz whispers back.

Ben nods, “Rey thought of it,” he loves the memory almost as much as he loves the name, “We thought we would give her something that could be her own, even if it’s a little familiar. She has a name that’s something new but still has remnants of where she comes from.” He loves it even more now that he sees the face to go with the name. It felt like the only name that could possibly suit her.

She could only ever be Lorelei.

Ben looks to her little fists, so incredibly tiny, just like everything else. He nudges them a little until her digits wrap around his finger. Her grip stronger than he was expecting from a newborn baby. He chuckles as he nearly melts from the sight to see his daughter keep hold of him as their minds do the same.

She knows who he is. She recognizes him as the man who she felt in the womb and he is overwhelmed at the sensation.

Maz pats his back and he realizes he had some tears falling again. He sniffles and wipes them away before they can fall onto Lorelei. He decides to inquire further about their situation and try to keep himself together, at least until Rey woke up.

“Where are we going?” he asks. They were in lightspeed now which meant Maz already decided on a destination. He wouldn’t complain where as long as it was safe.

“I have a friend on Batuu.” Instantly Ben feels tense. That seemed too obvious and even if the First Order didn’t go there, it was still crawling with other unsavory creatures that were looking to hide from the law. He lets her finish though as he tries to hear her out, “Chewie says all the stuff he and Rey had been accumulating for the baby was still on Kashyyyk and they didn’t have time to move it onto the ship. Seeing as we can’t go back to claim them we need to get some supplies for Lorelei. I only have the one diaper and it’s already in use.” Maz gestures to Lorelei.

“Batuu is the kind of place the First Order goes looking when they want to find someone who doesn’t want to be found,” Ben says, “It feels risky.”

“We won’t be there long. We just need to stock up on necessities and we’ll be on our way again.”

“To where?” Ben asks, his eyes roving over the baby rather than looking at Maz.

Maz is quiet for a moment, just brushing her fingers past the baby’s fine black hairs. She’s thinking but Ben knows not what. Maz’s ways in the force were strange even to Ben, not that he was trying to read her mind of course. He was grateful for her loyalty and friendship and wouldn’t jeopardize it in such a way.

“I may know a place. Give me some time to think it over and when Rey wakes I will tell you both.”

Ben nods. That seemed like a fair plan. It wasn’t the best but if it meant they would have the right things for Lorelei and she would be healthy and comfortable, he supposed it would be worth it. He runs his hands over the gray pajamas she was already wearing, “Where did this one come from?” he asks Maz.

She grins, “Why that one is my handiwork. Ever since Rey told me about the little bean I’ve been itching to make some clothes for her. I had only made this one though and it was meant to fit her in a few months time rather than now but at least she’s cozy.”

“You made this yourself?” Ben asks in amazement, the soft fabric suddenly held much more importance.

“You offend me, Solo. I make all my clothes myself. Where else am I gonna find clothes that fit a woman as Ewok sized as me?”

* * *

 

Rey wakes up a few hours later to hear the crying of a baby. Her eyes snap open and she scolds herself for falling asleep. She jolts up from the bed, searching for Lorelei. She feels a warm hand on her shoulder though and turns to see Ben holding the baby.

Rey relaxes. Ben had her, of course, which meant there was no reason to worry. 

“It’s okay. We’re safe. She’s safe,” he tells her and her mind catches up. She feels silly now as she slumps back down to the pillows but keeps her eyes open this time.

Already she feels so much better. She can feel her usual strength returning and was beginning to sense things around her again. She knew they were on a ship. Mid-hyperspace judging by the constant hum of the walls. She knew Ben was exhausted but he just smiled at her anyway, one of his arms held tight around a little bundle.

Lorelei.

She was crying and Rey could even sense she was hungry but it did not distract from how luminous she was. Her signature resided between her and Ben’s. She was safe even though her mind and Rey is so relieved.

“How are you feeling?” Ben asks her.

“Better,” she tells him. His hand travels up to hold her face and he smiles at her. Lorelei’s cries continue though and she holds out her arms, “She’s hungry, isn’t she?” Rey says.

“Yes,” he answers, “I can sense it. It’s like she’s talking to us.” He passes her the baby and Rey is in awe once again of just how lovely her daughter is.

Her daughter.

It makes her heart flutter.

Her cries turn into whines though as she recognizes Rey again. Although she’s hungry, being surrounded by her mother again gives her comfort and Ben watches in so much fondness that his eyes feel murky again. He’s been an absolute mess today but he isn’t sure he could be anything else.

Rey brushes her fingers against Lorelei’s cheeks and the cries trail off as her dark eyes look up at her mother. Rey lets out a small gasp as Ben presses his lips to Rey’s hair, “She has your eyes, Ben,” she notices. Ben feels a sense of pride that his daughter would have eyes like his and he isn’t sure why. It fills him with an even stronger urge to protect her, to keep her eyes from seeing what his own have witnessed.

Lorelei whines a little once more, expressing her hunger and Rey pulls back her dress, “I’ve only seen this done in holos so don’t laugh if I do this wrong,” she warns him.

“I wasn’t going to.” He smiles anyway.

She latches on and quiets instantly. Rey chuckles a little to herself, amazed that she can feed her baby on her own. Something she finds rather captivating after her body lived in hunger for so many years.

Both she and Ben just watch in fascination. The sight of his family fills him with so much warmth. He brushes Rey’s hair back and just runs his hand over her neck. He hasn’t had contact, real skin contact with her, since Derilyn. He forgets how powerful the impact leaves on him. His skin tingles wherever he touches her and the endless months and sleepless nights of waiting have amounted to these moments they share now.

It was all worth it.

It does make him think of their situation outside of this room though. Ben was no longer the Supreme Leader. He was a fugitive. He was being hunted, along with Rey and Lorelei. They were going to be the galaxy’s most wanted criminals within a few hours and there was no stopping that.

Lorelei burps against Rey’s chest as she dozes off and Rey laughs again as she covers herself back up. Ben smiles, though it is strained from his thoughts. He knows he needs to tell Rey what’s going on, “Rey?” Her head turns up to find his anxious eyes.

“Tell me,” she says, sensing the rift within him. He doesn’t want to taint this moment with unpleasant thoughts but Rey wants him to push forward anyway. She needs to know how he found her and why First Order troops were at the castle just like Maz had said. She needs to hear the truth.

“You were found by some bounty hunters on Kashyyyk, right?” she nods, “They were hired by Hux to hunt you down and bring you to the First Order. He was going to use you against me.”

Rey's eyes blow wide but she remains as still as she can with the sleeping baby on her chest, “How could he possibly know what I am to you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how he found out, but he’s upstaged some sort of mutiny among the higher ranking officials. Hell, it seems even the knights have been swayed in his favor.”

“What does this all mean, Ben?”

“I...well, I didn’t exactly handle the situation as well as I should have. Danskee, the kriffing bounty hunter told the entire bridge you were pregnant...and I just lost it. There was no hiding it after that,” he scolds himself for not being more careful.

Rey was struck with a new wave of horror. Within the last day, that had proved to be a common occurrence though she has not adjusted to any of it. The First Order knew about their baby. That was something she never wanted.

Ben takes her hand in his as he tries to say what comes next, “They tried to arrest me but I got away. And we got off Takodana...but that won’t stop them from hunting us down,” he cries. He feels so weak. How can he keep them safe from all that?  Whether it’s impossible or not he’s still going to do it, “I’m not gonna let them find us though. We’re going to find someplace safe.”

Rey nods as she leans into him, tears streaming down her face. She believes him though. Even if the odds may not be in their favor, she knew if anyone could beat them, it was her and Ben.

“You’re okay though?” he looks at her confused for a moment, “When they tried to stop you, I mean. You didn’t get hurt?”

Ben scoffs a little. Of course, Rey would ask a question like that. He was worried she would be disappointed in him for behaving how he did but Rey was always just concerned about his wellbeing, “I’m fine, I was just scared I wouldn’t find you in time. I wasn’t expecting you to be in labor when I did though. I thought I was having a heart attack.”

“Me too. I thought I was going to have to do it alone.” The memories had haunted her in the beginning and she thought she might have died on that bed. She could have if it weren't for Ben.

“You were so amazing, Ben. You handled everything so well.”

Ben laughs finally, the tension from his news clearing the air although the tracks of their tears still remain, “My hands were shaking the whole time. I’m glad though that I decided to study up on midwifery after all.”

Ben leans forward and kisses her softly. Rey feels his fingers comb through her hair and she is so relieved that he’s here. Really here. She knows it is selfish to be grateful that he was no longer the Supreme Leader but she couldn’t help it. Ben wasn’t going anywhere and she pulled him closer to her and he hums against her lips with a smile.

When she pulls away it is to pull him further onto the bed until his feet are gathered by her own. She could sense his exhaustion and wanted him to rest beside her. His head is slumped against her shoulder and his face is less than a foot away from Lorelei’s sleeping one. She was laid against Rey’s chest, her cheek pressed against Rey’s skin. He brought his hand up to stroke her small back as Rey kisses his forehead. His breath fans out over her collarbone and she takes in their surroundings.

“Where are we going?” she asks him quietly.

“Maz says she has a friend on Batuu and she can get us some stuff for the baby. I don’t want to stay there long though. They’ll be looking for us in places like that and I don’t want to risk being found…but I don’t want to spend too much time on the ship either. I’ve read that babies shouldn’t be in space for prolonged periods of time.”

Everything seemed to be a threat now. Ben worried not only about being found but about the baby being in space at all. He thinks of what he knows about space sickness and bloodburn, suddenly anxious about everything that might harm her. He has to keep her safe. Rey senses his unease and knows exactly how he feels. Becoming parents made them vigilant and paranoid about every threat looming to hurt Lorelei.

“So where will we hide then?”

“Maz says she knows a place but was waiting until you woke up to tell us,” he tells her, “I can go get her now.” He moves to stand up but Rey pulls him back down.

“No. It can wait,” she tells him, "Try to sleep. You're exhausted Ben, I can feel it."

He really is. He tries to reject it but then Rey pulls him closer and he decides to listen to her.

He remains in her embrace as he is mesmerized by the rise and fall of their daughter’s back with her breaths. He has never been so ready to find sleep and yet he wants to stay awake. He wants to just watch her as long as he can while Rey runs her fingers through his hair. He could live in this moment forever.

This is how he wants to fall asleep for the rest of his life.

* * *

 

The next morning, Chewie woke from his resting place in the cockpit. Maz tells him she can watch over things for a while and he should stretch a little. Chewie agrees and decides to chance a peek into the room that held the little family. They were nearing Batuu finally but was glad that it gave them all some time to rest.

Rey looks up when she sees him standing there, already awake. Ben’s eyes had been closed though not sleeping anymore. He opens them slightly when he hears Rey speak.

“Hi,” she grins at Chewie.

“Just checking on you. I can go,” he moans.

“No, stay. Come here.” Chewie walks to the side of the bunk until he’s crouched beside the bed, his eyes glued to Lorelei, “Do you want to hold her?” Rey asks him.

Chewie would like nothing more. He hasn’t held a human baby since Ben who was curled against Rey’s other side and it does something strange to his heart as if it tumbles in his chest. He realizes why.

This was Han and Leia’s granddaughter.

Rey holds out the little being until Chewie embraces her in his long furry arms. She flinches a little but her eyes remain closed as she nestles into the wookiees warmth.

Rey watches as Chewie beams down at Lorelei. Ben sits up a little and he brings his arm to rest over Rey’s shoulders as he tugs her closer to him. Rey pushes the hair out of his eyes and kisses the edge of his jaw. He smiles sleepily at her as they watch how Chewie is utterly fascinated by Lorelei.

“I didn’t get a good look at her before. I was still so shaken up back there...but she’s so beautiful.” Rey smiles at him. “Lorelei…” even in Shyriiwook her name sounds beautiful as he moans it out softly.

“She reminds me so much of you,” Chewie tells Ben.

He chuckles again, “That’s what Maz said too.”

Chewie moans out again, “Little Ben looked just like little Lei.”

Ben likes how that sounds, “Little Lei,” he repeats.

Lorelei wakes up and whines a little as she realizes she is not in the arms of her mother or father. Rey offers her arms back out in silent request to take her back but Chewie purrs and it distracts the baby back into silence as she finds herself cuddled in great warmth.

He huffs a laugh down at her.

Maz enters a moment later, something small in her hand but Ben couldn't tell what, "Everyone's awake!" she cheered. She walked over to look down at the baby in Chewie's arms for a moment before she noticed that Ben and Rey were both staring at her.

They wanted to know what her plan was.

"Alright, alright," she chuckles at them. She moves to the other side of the bed so she could speak to them closely. Even within the walls of her own ship in lightspeed does not mean she isn't overly cautious, "I know where you can go."

“Where?” Ben asks.

“It is a small planet called Lah’mu. _Almost_ completely inaccessible and so far off it isn't even charted on the galactic maps. Very few even know it exists and it would be far out of reach from the First Order as well as most of the galaxy. Either of you ever heard of it?” They both shake their heads, "Good."

They continue to stare at her, eager to hear what she has to say. 

“I had a friend once, a man named Saw Gerrera. He came to me a few years after the Clone Wars ended. He had no true allegiances except to himself and strangely enough to a small family he smuggled out under the Empire’s nose. The father was an Imperial physicist turned slave to the Death Star construction. He wanted to get his family out while they still could so Saw took them and they found Lah’mu.” She explains, “Saw confided in me though, told me where the planet was. I was to take his place and help the family if anything happened to him. He gave me this," she holds up a small card that held private coordinates to the planet. It was their only ticket to finding the place. Lah'mu was almost unfindable otherwise, "I haven’t even told a soul about it until now.”

Maz's eyes trail away as if she realizes how long ago it might have been.

“Did it work for them? Were they safe there?” Rey speaks up. Ben runs a hand over her shoulder. He could hear the tension in her voice, this planet sounded too good to be true which usually meant it was.

Maz doesn’t speak right away which makes her answer clear even before she gives it, “I didn’t hear from Saw for a number of years but when I did, he said the father was dragged back to the Empire. Saw took in the child as his own when the mother was killed.”

Ben can feel Rey’s heartache as much as his own.

“They were found,” Ben states instead of asking.

"Yes, but if you're looking for a place to disappear, I think this is your best bet. That family was not you. I believe this time things would be different," she tries to convince them. She could tell how reluctant they were the moment they realized the fate of the Erso family. 

Ben looks back to Rey, he asks for her thoughts through his, _What do you think?_

Rey glances over to Lorelei held in the wookiee's arms,  _I think we should go. I don’t want to end up like that family but we need to start somewhere._

 _I think so too. She's right, this might be our best bet,_ he says and Rey nods although he can see how glassy her eyes are. 

 _Was every day as a parent this terrifying?_ Ben feels like he's aged a few years since yesterday. He doesn't mind though. As long as Lorelei is safe he would take on anything. 

Rey hears his thoughts and presses her lips to his chin, _I know._

“For kriff’s sake. Are you two just staring at each other or can you actually communicate like that?” Maz breaks their concentration.

Ben ignores her question, “We’ll go. We’ll come up with alternate plans if and when something goes wrong but we’ll take our chances on Lah’mu.”

“Thank you, Maz,” Rey says to the small pirate woman.

Maz just shrugs, "I do what I can."

* * *

Xid sat at the back of the shuttle. He and the surviving death troopers were en route to meet a recently awakened Hux on the Absolution. The deactivated midwife droid was slumped down beside his boots. By the time they plugged her into the navigational computer of their own ship, the vital signs of the girl and the child were out of range. They had slipped away from their grasps and made it off Takodana, most likely with Ren as well.

They would need to act fast. If they didn’t find them within the next few days, it was likely they may never locate them.

This galaxy was too big. It made things inconvenient when searching for such pathetic vermin.

* * *

Hux woke up while a med droid was checking his temperature. The bright lights above him made his eyes shut tight as he demanded they be lowered. As he gathered his bearings and realized he was in fact not dead he felt incredibly relieved.

Quite a convenient observation to be made.

But then he looks down to see a metallic hand attached to his body. His flesh one gone, having been crushed under the force of Ren’s rage. He remembers everything leading up to the crash of the ceiling hanging over him. That idiot Danskee calling the wrong line and ruining his plans was the cause of all of this. His plan was so well articulated and yet one moron goes and blows the whole thing to dust

It was not a total loss though. Kylo was still exposed for who he was and the girl was revealed to be with child, undoubtedly his as well. He was done for. The time of his manipulated demolition, however, was yet to be confirmed.

Commander Lennox waits at his side with several of the knights of Ren, “Glad to have you back, sir,” Lennox says as Hux sits up. His eyes always trailing back to the foul looking forearm now a permanent installment to his body. He suppresses his emotions though. Sacrifices had to be made to be where he is now. He knew that.

Kylo, however, seemed to forget that. It would be his downfall.

Lennox informs him that Kylo had indeed escaped, “Master Xid and a squadron of death troopers were sent to Takodana in search of him and the girl,” he says.

“And what has been found?” Hux asks.

“None of the fugitives have been apprehended. The ship they took from Kashyyyk was located outside the castle but they were not inside. They were confronted by an uprising of patrons at the reconstructed castle.”

“So nothing then,” Hux huffs.

“Actually they did manage to find a midwife droid. When activated, there was the indication the woman was in labor. They meant to trace the life signature sooner but that is when the drunkards confronted them. They are headed back to the Absolution now with their full report and the droid as well.”

 _Not a complete loss then_ , Hux thinks. 

“Thank you, Commander.” Hux meant it. Were it not for him, he imagines Kylo would have killed him most definitely. It was the Lennox who initiated the lockdown sequence, causing the distraction. Perhaps he would prove to be a worthy General.

“You’re welcome, _Supreme Leader_ ,” he says with the slightest hint of a smirk and Hux does not feel so defeated. At least with Kylo gone, he now had what he desired: the galaxy.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who feel an eerie sense of foreboding at the mention of Lah'mu, I hate to say that was intentional. If it makes you feel any better we have a ways to go before that shit kicks in though. Take some time to breathe;)
> 
> I fabricated the whole Saw trusting Maz story so I could find a secure way to get them to Lah'mu but y'know...hence the fanfiction


	11. Essentials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batuu supply run and making a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have spent way too much time on this chapter. I've written at least five drafts now but they didn't feel right. I finally finished this one though and I think it lines up pretty well with what I have planned ahead.
> 
> I also have a lot of school nonsense going on right now. Honestly, my education is really putting a damper on my fanfiction capabilities and I'm rethinking my priorities.

  

Maz tried to recall which streets to turn in and what the building looked like. She remembers the structure being on the further edges of Black Spire Outpost but Maz had not been there in nearly ten years.

Her old friend Nurmi decided to keep her midwife practice stationary, on Batuu. She was over eighty by now, which Maz supposed was considered elderly for most creatures and staying in one place proved to be more comfortable for Nurmi as she continued to do what she loved: working with mothers and helping children.

Maz rounds another corner. She adjusts her cloak so to better hide her face. She is unsure what the rest of the galaxy knows at this point and her involvement. She could very well have been exposed too. She needed to be extra careful, not wanting to risk the lives of the small family she left behind in the ship.

She told them to wait there until she returned. Firstly because she didn’t want to risk dragging the Supreme Leader, or rather the former Supreme Leader, through a fairly populated area along with the supposed last Jedi and a newborn.

The second reason being that although she completely trusted Nurmi, barging into her home with two fugitives wasn’t really how she wanted to greet her after all these years. She wanted to make sure she was comfortable with it first before she got dragged into this.

Ben and Rey waited on the ship, alone except for Lorelei. Hopefully, they were sleeping but knowing them they were probably sitting up just staring at the baby.

Chewie, however, had gone to find another shuttle after refueling the Epoch. Maz knew once they got to Lah’mu, they would find it to be a fairly desolate planet and if they wanted Ben and Rey to have means of transportation in their own, they would need to get a ship now. He went off to find one while Maz wandered like the old woman she was to try and remember what street she was supposed to turn down.

She passes a cantina with holos playing loudly out front where patrons are sitting at an outdoor bar. The atrocious anchor for the Coruscant news is on but Maz’s ears perk up when she hears the name, _Kylo Ren_.

“We are still unsure as to why the Supreme Leader fled from the First Order. There have been rumors as serious as treason mentioned but we will not know the extent of this until we hear from General Armitage Hux who is scheduled to give a speech later today.”

Maz feels her heart pound in her chest. Surely that couldn’t be good. She speeds along, further determined to find Nurmi so they could get the hell out of there as soon as possible. The sooner they left, the sooner they were all clear of being discovered.

At last, Maz rounds a corner and recognizes where she is and sees the roof of Nurmi’s building. Distinctively blue and white as if to imitate the design on her montrals. A beacon for mother’s needing aid.

She breaks into a jog, trying to hurry along and still not attract too much attention. Given her little legs, she wasn't moving very fast anyway.

* * *

 

They were alone on the ship for now. Ben and Rey were laid on on their stomachs with Lorelei on her back between them.  They just hovered their faces above her, eyes tracing over her features endlessly. Every little noise she made had them melting into each other as they just ran their fingers past her smooth skin.

They were all still tired, but they waited until Lorelei fell asleep until they would close their own eyes.

Ben doesn't mind though. He could gaze at her forever and his exhaustion was just a distraction from his studies of her.

Ben has his face propped up with his hand when he hears Rey’s thoughts break through to his mind.

 _How could they leave me?_  

He whips his head to look at her. Ben already knows who she means.

Rey didn’t like to think of her parents. She tried so hard to push that all away but it was easier said than done. And even now, in this beautiful moment, they linger still.

But Rey doesn’t feel as sad anymore. Whatever addictions her parents needed to tend to were chosen over Rey’s life. As she looks down at her daughter, the very thought of abandoning Lorelei made her stomach turn.

Whoever Rey’s parents were, they must have been truly pathetic creatures to give up what Rey now held so dear. She gave them the benefit of the doubt for her entire life, but now any further thought she awarded them felt like too much. They were dead to her as much as they were dead to themselves.

_Rey?_

She hears Ben’s voice break through her mind. His concern for her palpable as ever. She doesn’t want to hide anything from him, especially this of all things.

“You’re thinking about them?” he asks her softly, his other hand running past her back.

“I didn’t mean to, but I’m glad I did.” He looks at her even more worried than before.  She just shakes her head and smiles at him a little. The strife she used to carry with this topic doesn’t trouble her how it used to. As if she couldn’t be bothered, “I think having Lorelei has made me really understand how I feel about them.”

His hand tightens a little around her waist.

“I’m glad I can’t remember them. It makes forgetting them altogether easier.” Rey had come to terms that whoever her parents were, they wouldn’t be who defined her. They wouldn’t have been the people she was dreaming of.

Rey had imagined many families in her years on Jakku. Usually a mom and a dad but sometimes just a mom. Anything to justify the pleasant and calming voice Rey heard. Anything to distract her from realizing that the voice was of her own making. She remembers taking so much comfort in creating multitudes and variations of something resembling a made-up family in her frightened and lonely nights, “They were _never_ my family.”

In all those pretend families she had created for herself, Rey had never imagined _this_ family. A family she made on her own where she was no longer the child but the mother instead. Her real family was more beautiful than anything she imagined as a lonely girl.

Lorelei hiccups quietly between them and they both gush over it for a moment. Ben runs his palm past Lorelei's black wisps of hair and seeing his massive hand on the tiny baby’s head makes Rey feel so complete. Rey could see so plainly how much Ben loved Lorelei. She knew he would never abandon her. He would never want her to experience the loneliness that either of them felt. She reaches forward, her hand resting over his now.

“ _This_ is my family,” she says as she looked down at Lorelei for a moment and then back to him, “Thank you, Ben. You gave me a family.”

While Ben had come to finally remember and feel for his parents, Rey was leaving her own behind for good.

She had claimed in the past that she didn’t think of them anymore, though the subject always made her cry. She was still grieving for all those wasted years of waiting for people that never came.

But she speaks clearly now and it seems she is unattached to the people that she had once longed to see. She seems to finally have the closure she needs.

He leans forward, not very gracefully but still determined, and kisses her on the lips. It's a little tired but it does not lack the passion that they both feel endlessly for each other.

Rey can feel the love and warmth radiate from his side of the bond and she smiles against his mouth. When he pulls away he keeps his forehead against hers.

“I’m so proud of you, Rey,” he tells her. She’s conquered so much in her life, even just within the last few days alone.

And now this.

She has come to rise above one of the most painful subjects in her life and Ben is amazed. She is the strongest person he’s ever known, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They watch as Lorelei eventually falls back asleep and they soon follow, surrounding her with both their bodies and their minds.

 

* * *

 

Nurmi rises from where she sat at her kitchen table. She had been eating lunch when she heard very frantic knocking from her front door. She was used to hearing such noises. Many mothers, nervous fathers, or even young children have come to her door seeking her help. It was why now, the woman expected nothing else but to be called to action once again.

She didn’t mind, she liked to keep busy.

She opens the door and at first, she thinks whoever it was had run off, but as she hears a throat being cleared she pans down to see a small creature wrapped in a cloak, hiding their face.

“Hello, Nurmi. It’s been a while…” they say and instantly a grin splits the old togruta’s face.

“Kanata? Is that you?”

“How many other orange women shorter than an astromech do you know?” Maz cracks.

“You’d be surprised," she jokes before moving aside to clear the way, "Please come in. I was just finishing lunch if you want anything.”

“I’m fine. I ate on the ride over.” Maz waits until the door is closed before she takes a long hard look around.

Nurmi watches her in amusement.

“We’re alone. You don’t need to check the whole place unless of course, you wish to.”

“No, I believe you. Just paranoid. It’s been wild lately.”

“Oh? And why’s that? What adventure have you found yourself in this time?”

Maz thinks of how to start this conversation. Trying to be delicate she probes a question, “Do you watch the news?”

Nurmi scoffs, “Of course not. I don’t even remember the last time I even turned the holonet on. Why? Is there a new program I should be watching?” Maz smiles at her. Nurmi hasn’t changed a bit.

“Actually no. I would encourage you to keep it off. However, to sum it up tremendously for you, the Supreme Leader has escaped from the First Order and before you can take any guesses for why I’m here, I’d like to ask a massive favor of you that may involve him.”

Nurmi looks curiously at her, “Consider me intrigued.”

Maz tells her to sit down on the couch as she explains. She tells her of Rey and Ben and how dearly they love each other. How Ben was really Kylo Ren but not the creature every one thinks he is. He is kind and gentle which again leads to how much in love he is with Rey. She gradually leads up to the big reveal that they also had a baby...yesterday.

Nurmi’s eyes blow wide, “Are they alright?” Always the midwife, she inquires after the health of the mother and baby.

“They’re fine. Perfectly healthy, but here in lies the favor. Two fugitives on the run can’t exactly be seen shopping for a baby and you are the only person I could trust with something as sensitive as this. I’m taking them to another planet to lie low for a while but they will need some things for the baby. I knew you would have some or would know how to find what we’re looking for,” Maz tried not to sound as frantic as she was but judging by Nurmi’s wide eyes, it wasn’t working.

“Let me see if I’m understanding you here,” Nurmi runs a hand past her on montrals as if to keep her head from spinning, “You came here with the Supreme Leader and the Last Jedi who really aren’t the Supreme Leader and the Last Jedi anymore. Instead, they go by Ben and Rey and they are in love-”

“Yes,” Maz urges her on by confirming everything so far.

Nurmi continues, “-but Rey got pregnant so Ben ran away from the First Order to be with them and now you’re here because they need things for the baby before they go into hiding.”

“Precisely.” Maz hopes this isn’t too overwhelming for her. She feels so desperate and doesn't know where else to go if this didn’t work out.

Nurmi chews on her lip for a moment before nodding, “Alright. What do you need?”

Maz praises her with open arms, “Ahh, Nurmi. I kriffing love you…”

* * *

 

Chewie was in the middle of bartering with an obese humanoid looking man. He wouldn't have approached him at all if he didn't find the shuttle behind him a fair candidate for what he needed. 

The man was proving difficult though. He didn't want to sell his ship but rather trade. He kept pointing back to the Epoch across the airfield, "Why can't you just trade me for your ship?" he snaps a little.

"Because that ship does not belong to me. I was just hitching a ride here but now I want a ship for myself. I will pay you whatever you want for the shuttle and you can buy an even nicer one with your earnings." Chewie hopes that entices him.

"What's the big hurry? If you hitched here, why can't you just hitch wherever you need to go now?"

"Because I have a job lined up that requires I have a personal shuttle. I'm working for a shipping company but they want me to have my own craft."

The man is quiet for a moment. He frowns as he seems to be in deep thought. He doesn't seem very attached to his own ship but seems much too eager to know more about Chewie. It's why he needs to end this as soon as possible. Thinking quickly, Chewie blurts out, "I can give you thirty thousand credits for it."

The man's eyes blow wide. That was probably more than he paid for the ship when it was new. He nods a little before he spoke, "Must be one hell of a job then. What shipping company is it?"

 _The one where I ship a family into hiding so they are far away from gross creatures like you!_ Chewie says to himself. 

"Privately owned," Chewie replies hoping he doesn't dig any further. The man must know it's a lie, but hopefully, the price offer keeps him from acknowledging that. Chewie never was a very good liar. 

Finally, he answers, "I can do thirty thousand."

Chewie holds out his furry hand, "Deal then?"

"Deal," the man's sweaty hands grasps Chewie's and it leaves the wookiee feeling sticky. The sooner they were all clear of this place the better.

30,000 credits was steep for a shuttle of this size, especially when it was used by a man who clearly had a severe lack of hygiene. 

 _I'll have to do some serious cleaning on the ride over_ , Chewie says to himself. 

He spends the next little while inspecting everything he could on the ship. He wants to make sure there’s no chance of anyone tracking him or any sign of damage. It seems to all be in order though and he relaxes a little, hoping everything was going okay with the rest of the party.

Just then, his comlink blinks with an awaiting message. Chewie closes several doors, ensuring his privacy before he moans quietly into the device, “Maz?”

 _“Yeah, it’s me. Did you find something?”_ she asks him.

“Yeah. I’m on the ship right now.”

_“And you’ve checked it over?”_

“It’s clean,” Chewie answers groaning a little. At least in the safety sense, it was clean. 

_“Great, okay. Can you meet me over by the Epoch? I'm headed back now with Nurmi, we'll need help loading up the cargo."_

"I'm coming back now. I'll see you in a minute."

Chewie leaves the shuttle, titled the _Moonstruck_ he notices, and makes sure it's all sealed up and secure before making his way back to Maz's ship.

* * *

 

Ben and Rey hear some commotion outside and Ben rises to see what it is, his hair sticking out from where sleep had pressed it.

Rey sits up as well and Lorelei’s eyes flutter open, whining a little. They can hear the ramp lower followed by the sound of Maz’s voice speaking with someone else. They both sigh in relief that again, it was only Maz and not some other threat.

She comes through their doorway a moment later, “Oh, good. You’re awake. I’d like you to meet somebody.” As Ben and Rey blink their eyes, trying to adjust to the lights that are on again, a tall, elderly togruta woman walks in behind her. “This is my friend Nurmi I was telling you about. She’s found you a ridiculous amount of things that I think you’ll soon be needing.”

Nurmi laughs at them for a moment while they greet her with yawns, “Well you certainly look like new parents. And I suppose that is the baby I’ve heard so much about?” she nods to the bundle held to Rey’s chest.

“Yes. This is Lorelei,” Rey answers looking down at her again. Nurmi steps forward to get a proper look at her.

“My goodness. She’s beautiful.” Nurmi was immediately mesmerized by the little face. She meant her words, she really was amazing but it seemed like the parents were well aware of that already.

“Thank you,” both Ben and Rey answer.

“Yeah, these two know how to make a good-looking kid,” Maz moves to pat Ben on the back. Just then they hear Chewie's moans from outside and Maz turns to leave the room, "I'm gonna go help him load stuff up. We should leave in a few minutes."

Both Ben and Rey nod, glad that they could leave so soon. 

Now alone with them, Nurmi moves a little closer, slowly and with her wrinkled hands clasped in front of her to show she comes in peace. Maz had only briefly explained what they had been through and she knows they would not be eager for anyone to endanger the sanctity of their new little family. Even an old woman in her eighties.

“Maz mentioned she was born yesterday, and that you delivered her,” she looks to Ben.

“I did, but Rey did all the real work.” Nurmi smiles at that. Ben focuses on Rey as he runs his hand past her back, his eyes trailing to find the little girl held against her. His eyes gleam at them and already, Nurmi could see what Maz was talking about. This man who had been branded either as a powerful leader or a complete monster seemed to be just a man. A man in love.

Nurmi knew very little of the force. She had been alive during the Clone Wars and remembered hearing of the heroics committed by the Jedi knights. She remembers the brave acts of Ahsoka Tano, a young togruta who Nurmi looked up to at the time, even if the girl had been quite a bit younger than herself. Despite her fascination, she had not seen or felt many indications of such power. She wasn't sure what was true and what were just old stories. To her, the force had become more of a legend like those who used to wield it.

That being said, almost as soon as she entered the room, she felt as if she was surrounded by the most comforting of glows. A warmth that seemed to radiate off the three humans with their combined love. It made her feel incredibly safe like she had been invited into the most sacred of places with them and they were keeping her secure within the walls of the small bedroom.

If this was the work of the force, Nurmi could begin to understand what all the fuss was about. It was the most ethereal feeling.

Nurmi shakes herself out of her trance when she hears Ben speak again.

“But you are an actual midwife, right?” he asks.

“I am,” she says in confidence. Though she was now more or less retired, she never could truly abandon the work. It gave her purpose.

Ben looks to Lorelei for a second, “We think everything is fine. We can sense things with her, but would you mind just checking over her anyway?”

“Of course. It would be my pleasure.” Nurmi steps even closer and the glow seems brighter. She decides that whatever wonders resided in this room, it was definitely protruding from this small family. 

“Thank you,” Rey says as she sits forward and gently places the baby flat on the bed. Nurmi leans over and examines the little girl.

Perfectly healthy as Maz had said.

Ben moves a little closer to peer at his daughter over the togruta's shoulder, "We'll only be in space a little bit longer...hopefully. But I've read that bloodburn is easier for children to develop and I don't want her to spend too much time in space for anything like that to happen. Do you think...I mean is there a chance that could happen or...?" He trails off and Nurmi looks up at him to see his worried eyes. 

She is further surprised by this man and the tenderness he exhibits, "I wouldn't worry about that. It takes a great deal of space travel to even be prone to the fevers. Even then it is very rare. I'm sure everything will be fine. She is very healthy at present."

Ben's shoulders ease and he sits on the edge of the bunk beside Rey who runs her hands over his back. Rey can feel how his mind relaxes slightly. That had been just one of the many worries on his mind, but any relief it gives him makes Rey feel a little better. It gave them some breathing room.

Nurmi observes the baby a little, checking her motor skills, mouth, ears, eyes. Everything as it should be. She is surprised though at the calm nature of the child, “She seems quite content. Unafraid and easy tempered. Most beings this size cry and wail endlessly in fear and confusion.”

Ben and Rey look at each other for a moment before he speaks up, “We share a bond with her. We think she can sense us if we are nearby." 

Of course. The baby feels the same warmth that Nurmi felt entering, except she must have been even more absorbed by it. The child knew everything was okay. Nurmi thinks all babies would be a lot easier if their parents could communicate with them in such a way. 

Ben continues on, "She knows she’s safe...at least in here.” Nurmi can see how his eyes cast down at the end there. Nurmi picks up the baby and hands her over to Ben. He takes her and tenderly holds her against him. Rey leans against his shoulder to look down at Lorelei, stroking her fingers past her tiny hands. 

It was such a beautiful sight to see them curled around each other and Nurmi felt like she was imposing. She felt like this is something she was not meant to see. She can see how much love they have for each other, but there is also a great sadness carried with them. They know they are hunted people and their child now carries that burden too. 

“Maz told me what you two are dealing with. I can’t imagine how terrified you must be right now...Becoming parents is frightening enough." Rey turns to her with glassy eyes but Ben keeps his own on the baby. 

“And I don’t know you very well and I must just sound like some crazy old lady, which believe me I am,” Rey gives a quiet chuckle, moving so her feet touch the ground but she remains on the bed, “but I really believe that you can do it. I know you will keep her safe.” 

Rey doesn’t speak but nods along. Nurmi pulls out a small card from her pocket, “I haven’t asked where you’re headed. I know how private you need to be. But if you have any questions about her, anything at all, you can reach me with this,” she passes the contact card to Rey. It connects to the transmitter back at her home.

“Thank you,” Rey rises and moves to wrap her arms around the woman.

Ben's eyes go a little wide to see Rey stand up so suddenly and he's worried she's still sore. He stands behind her, holding one arm out, ready to catch her in case she stumbles but she doesn't. 

Rey doesn't even notice the remaining aches and tenderness. She is so grateful that Nurmi has helped them the way she has. 

Nurmi feels her heart melt a little. This woman holding her was probably a good sixty years younger than herself. And yet, the warmth from earlier completely wraps around her and for some reason, it reminds the old woman of how she felt being held by her own mother. Something so maternal and protective and loving that Nurmi feels tears gather in her eyes.

She really hopes these kids are going to be okay.

* * *

 

Maz and Chewie finally finish loading everything on to the ship. They wait at the bottom of the ramp as they eventually see Nurmi make her way down with puffy eyes as if she had been crying. That was a side effect of seeing the family surrounded in so much love and yet so much tragedy. Though Maz had not cried yet that day, the source of many of her tears within recent events has been the byproduct of her worry for them.

Nurmi crouches to the ground on creaky knees and embraces Maz in a tight hug. Max chuckles at her, "You too, huh?"

Nurmi nods, "She's beautiful. And they are amazing."

"They are," Maz agrees, returning the hug, "Thank you so much for everything. We wouldn't know where to go if it weren't for you."

"My pleasure." Nurmi attempts to rise then but Chewie holds out a hand so she can get back to her feet, "Thank you. I forgot I'm old and I can't get off the ground."

Maz laughs, "Nonsense. You're still just a girl."

"Oh shut up, Kanata. Not all of us live to be...whatever age you are now."

"Honestly, I forget myself sometimes."

They say their final goodbyes and Nurmi gets back in her speeder. It was more like an ambulance but not as flashy. The large design was convenient though in getting the trunks and bags over in one trip. She cruises along with a final wave from the window, leaving Maz and Chewie to themselves.

"We should go. I heard that Hux was giving a speech soon. I don't want them around when everyone finds out," Maz says to him and he agrees. She hands him a copy of the disk she made from the one Saw had made for her so many years ago. Without these coordinates, no one would possibly know where to find them.

He takes it, holding it tightly in his hand, "Guess I'll see you there."

"Won't be long my furry friend." Maz makes her way back up the ramp and within the next few minutes both the _Epoch Swift_ and the newly purchased _Moonstruck_ make the jump to lightspeed.

Maz cracks open the trunks to acquaint Ben and Rey with everything. She shows them the overabundance of diapers and their eyes blow wide as they see how many their small baby will inevitably go through. 

Another trunk just holds various fabrics. All are fairly muted and dark but extremely soft and Maz says that she could make them some more clothes. Ben's black tunic and flight pants were more practical for a First Order setting rather than a domestic one and Rey's black maternity dress was all she had left to wear. They would definitely need a bit of an upgrade and Maz jumped at the chance. Knitting and sewing was just the kind of task her mind needed to keep busy. 

Things were not as picturesque on the Moonstruck though as Chewie spends his trip scrubbing every surface and hoping to clean any traces that filthy man away. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't disappointing to people who have been waiting for an update. LOL, I tried.
> 
> Up next, we see Hux make his Supreme Loser debut.


	12. Divulge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an overwhelming amount of information thrust upon the Resistance and nobody is handling it very well. 
> 
> It's kind of long and probably not as smooth as it could be but I'm eager to check back on our little runaway family.

Hux walks determined yet still aching. He is not fully recovered. He is sluggish from the bacta and yearns for sleep. There is a strange phantom pain left behind from his flesh arm that his brain had yet to register was gone.

Nevertheless, he walks with his head held high alongside the Knights as they make their way through the building. Lennox walks beside him and Hux tries to distract himself with asking questions, “Are all the files ready? I want them to be displayed as soon as I refer to them.”

“Yes, sir. The security footage and the images pulled from the droid are prepared.”

“Excellent. I don’t want any flops. I want this to go smoothly. First impressions are powerful things.”

“That they are, sir,” Lennox agrees.

They move from hallway to hallway until they reach a turbolift. Three of the Knights go in first while the other three wait for Lennox and himself to enter. Once inside, Hux and the Commander are practically sandwiched between the dark figures. The ever expansive cityscape shimmers behind them from the windows.

They had landed on Coruscant to deliver the news. This way, they would have enough coverage that his words reached the entire galaxy. They were currently headed up to the level where all the other First Order officials awaited in the recording room. Hux had hoped when this moment came it would be in front of a crowd. He found it was always encouraging to have those who were beneath you forced to look up and listen. But his delicate condition meant he was resorting to this method.

He supposed it didn’t matter. They would all have to look up to him anyway, even in the metaphorical sense.

The turbolift opens its doors and they all pile out into the massive hall. Black sleet design of steel and marble decorates the lavish environment. First Order flags at every turn and troopers at every corner and door entrance.

They all turn into the extensive control room. Everyone rises as they march in, saluting him. Some eyes float down to the cybernetic arm that now hangs at his side. His metal fingers clench in his unease and Hux is surprised to notice how responsive they are to his unconscious movement. Lennox, however, hands him a black glove to match his other and he slides it over the metallic casing.

The Knights immediately head for the platform and line up. They are to be his backdrop while he speaks. As his new guard, Hux knew it would seem obligatory to include them in his first decree. Plus he felt a great sense of power to know Ren’s once loyal followers were now at his disposal.

One officer approaches him to clip the microphone onto his coat, “Glad to see you’re alright, sir,” the officer tells him.

“Yes, thank you,” Hux doesn’t look at him and the man takes the cue to scurry away. He never feels nervous before speaking but now he feels slightly shaky. Perhaps it was because this was what he had been waiting for his entire life, more or less. This was the moment where he proved to the galaxy, to his colleagues, and to Kylo Ren that having the force did not earn you a galaxy. Intelligence, and quite honestly, some manipulation is how Hux finds himself looking upon his new protectors; the _Knights of Ren_. Though just "the Knights" now.

They were force users and yet they answered to him. His pride returns with a vengeance at the concept.

His nerves dissipate completely as he turns to the Commander still standing by his side, “Commander Lennox,” the lean man turns to listen, “would you mind introducing me to our audience? With my new official title, of course.” Lennox gives the smallest hint of a smile. Hux wonders if it’s because he is pleased to be so well trusted to the new leader of the galaxy. A more selfish but understandable purpose.

“It would be an honor, sir,” Lennox steps up to the platform and stands before the Knights. He waits for the cue from the officer at the nearest control panel.

“Live in five, four, three…” He goes silent before pointing to him in signal. The entire galaxy was watching now.

“Citizens of the galaxy, I present to you, your new Supreme Leader...Armitage Hux…” Lennox steps away and Hux rises onto the platform. The look of dignity on his features.

Today the galaxy would learn who Kylo Ren really was.

* * *

 

Finn leans against the wall, chewing nervously on his thumbnail. Rose stands beside him, arms crossed and face twisted in concentration.

Both of them and a fair twenty or so other Resistance members were gathered in the main control room on the Arkanis base, all eyes wandering in the long moments of silence. Ever since it was unveiled that Kylo Ren fled the First Order, everyone had all been on edge.

Although that had been more or less good news, they weren’t sure what that meant for what was left behind of the First Order. When it was announced that General Hux would be giving a speech today, everyone was thinking the same thing.

Was Hux the new Supreme Leader? Is that who Ren’s replacement was supposed to be?

Annoying to be sure. Insufferable, of course. But terrifying? No.

Perhaps this war would be over soon after all.

Poe and Kaydel were maybe ten feet away from Finn and Rose and they all occasionally made eye contact but no words were shared. Everyone was too distracted as they waited for that miserable weasel’s face to fill the screen.

Rose tugs on Finn’s arm and he bends down a little so she could whisper in his ear, “Do you think Rey’s okay? She would have heard about it by now. Surely he...Kylo wouldn’t go after her?” she asks, hesitant to say the name.

Finn had thought the same thing. With Kylo running off, there was no telling where he could be or if he knew how to find Rey. Hopefully, everything was okay, “I was worried about that too, but she can always take care of herself. She’s kicked his ass twice before already. What’s a few more?” he tries to lighten the mood and Rose just rolls her eyes a little with a small smile on her face. “Besides, I don’t think he would be able to find her and Chewie. They take precautions.”

Rose just nods and they go back to waiting.

Soon enough, the First Order insignia pops up on the screen. Everyone holds their breath as a tall slender man appears. It isn’t Hux, but he had the distinctive skeletal features of a man bred for the First Order. He stands in front of several dark figures, all masked.

Finn shudders. It reminds him of the mask he had seen Kylo wear back when he was a stormtrooper.

The man speaks, _“Citizens of the galaxy, I present to you, your new Supreme Leader...Armitage Hux…”_

There are scattered groans across the room. It was true. This prick really was the new leader, which meant that whatever circumstances Kylo had left, it couldn’t be good. Well at least good for him. Finn didn’t really care what happened to him if it meant he was gone.

“Well, there goes that,” Finn hears a scoff from the room but isn’t sure who said it.

Then, no one other than Hux himself emerges where the other man had been standing. Everyone leans forward.

_“Greetings. I’m sure this may be surprising to many of you, but it is indeed true. As flattered as I am to have been granted this position, I wish I stood before you all today with more pleasant news. However, no doubt, many of you are curious as to what exactly transpired yesterday on the Absolution when our former Supreme Leader abandoned his duties and fled the First Order._

_“Before I go any further, I’d like to educate you on who Kylo Ren really was. For he has proved himself to be nothing more than a traitor and you all deserve to know why. For three years now, we all have been cheated by a man who behaves in his own selfish interests. A fool who only came by the title of a Leader by ripping it away, almost quite literally, from its previous owner; Supreme Leader Snoke.”_

Suddenly, the screen cuts to the image of Snoke’s vile looking face and both Finn and Rose grimace a little but then they see Rey and their breath hitches slightly to see her so close in range of not only Snoke but also Kylo Ren. It all made Finn very uneasy even though he knew it was from the past.

Rey beat them and escaped.

 _“What you see here is footage we managed to salvage from the destruction of the Supremacy about three years ago,”_ Hux’s voice speaks over the silent footage. Rey was practically on her knees with Kylo's saber ready to strike her in the chest, _“and this takes place just moments before Leader Snoke was murdered. And although we have all been told the story of how it was this Jedi to commit this crime…”_ Hux’s nasally voice trails off as the footage zooms in to view Kylo’s fist at his side as he clenches it. The small gesture is coordinated with the sudden ignition of the blue lightsaber that goes straight through Snoke. Rey falls to the ground. The saber pulls through Snoke's torso and levitates into Rey's hand.

 _“There…you see? It seems we were misled as to who was initially responsible,”_ Hux says. Gasps sound off throughout the control room but Finn thinks he’s stopped breathing. Everyone watches dumbfounded as Rey and Kylo turn to fight the red guards approaching them.

And they defeated them...together.

Finn’s head immediately starts spinning. Why would Rey keep this from them? Why would she not tell them after all this time that it wasn’t really her that killed Snoke?

Finn thinks back through muddled and frantic thoughts but can only recall how uncomfortable the subject made her. He supposes she never explicitly said she had killed him, but she never denied it either.

Was she...protecting Kylo? No. Why would she?

But then again, why would Kylo save her...help her? What did he want from Rey? Surely only a monster like that would only kill his master for power. Perhaps Rey was just a pawn in his sick game.

Question after question shoot through his mind but when Hux speaks again, he is desperate to hear more, willing his brain to brief quiet to understand the man’s words.

_“Although it appears to be very poor quality, it is revealing enough to expose the true nature of how Kylo came into possession his Supreme Leader title. It was not the Jedi as previously believed.”_

Heads are turning and hushed frazzled words are heard throughout the room. Words of disbelief, and even some in anger towards Rey. Keeping such a secret seems no different than lying in this case. Why would Rey lie for Kylo?

Hux carries on, _“Unfortunately, that is only the beginning of the treasonous acts that Ren was responsible for. And as for the girl, her involvement is far from over. In fact, I believe this incident to be just the beginning.”_

Finn can feel Rose's nails sink into his arm. He doesn't entirely notice the sting though.

_“There are many other allegations against Ren that I could tell you about for hours. All of which is rather tame to the event you have just witnessed. However, it seems these two criminals have outdone themselves as of late. If there were any doubts or misinterpretations of what that footage expressed to you, I urge you to prepare yourself for what I am to share. These people are not just murderers, but now they have created something far more dangerous than themselves, quite possibly.”_

Finn is further confused. That footage was from three years ago. Even if Rey had... "connected" with him before, her involvement with the Resistance for the past few years proved she had not been swayed. Her current absence from Arkanis was to complete her training to defeat him forever...right?

Hux continues, _“Yesterday morning, the Absolution received a contact from a crew of bounty hunters. We, as an exemplary order, do not often associate with such characters but nevertheless, they contacted us with an indication they had located none other than the Jedi girl herself.”_

“No,” Finn says under his breath.

 _“And perhaps they would have apprehended her, only it was Kylo who had answered the call. And to discover that they had located the girl made him absolutely furious to the point where he demanded they leave her be or else they would be arrested. I and others found this very strange, however, it was only after the bounty hunter revealed the condition of the girl that he behaved like this,”_ again the screen changes to recorded footage of Kylo slashing a control panel into shards with his lightsaber, growling in fury.

_The condition of the girl? What was wrong with Rey? Why would it upset Kylo so much?_

The screen returns to Hux’s face a moment later, _“The claim made that sparked such a response from Ren was that apparently...this woman was pregnant,”_ even louder gasps sound off and Finn is pretty sure he's stopped breathing. This he would not believe. Finn refused to accept it.

“What the kriff? This guy has got to be full of bantha shit! There’s no way!” a voice says.

“Shut up!” someone else shouts until the hushed whispers fade to hear the rest of the speech.

_“He evaded our efforts to arrest him, injuring myself and others in the process. He fled moments later to Takodana where he believed the girl to be. Thankfully Master Xid went forward and headed for Takodana as well, prepared to find both of these fugitives.”_

_Takodana?_ Finn is lost.

_“Neither the girl or Kylo were found. That being said, some very crucial evidence was discovered that correlates to what the bounty hunter had shared. Particularly a midwife droid. A retired Emmex thirteen model that was apparently programmed to tend to the woman during her pregnancy.”_

Again, the screen changes until a strange image appears. It is black and white but after a moment, Finn realizes it is distinctly the form of an unborn child. Finn’s legs start to feel weak and he feels how Rose braces his weight on her shoulder, keeping him from collapsing.

_“What you see here is the ultrasound of an unborn human female. It tells us many things including that the mother is, indeed, the false Jedi herself, the woman known as Rey.”_

Several beeps and dots of light blink on a strand of DNA displayed in a small window beside the child. With them, Rey’s portrait appears, as if to indicate that traces of her had been found. Still, Finn refused to acknowledge them, _“It is heavily indicated that at the time Master Xid discovered the droid, she was most definitely in labor. But perhaps the most prominent shred of evidence it had to offer has become the most obvious at this point. This is a matter in regards to the father…”_

 _Don’t say it. Please don’t say it_ , Finn chants in his mind. This could not be happening.

 _“By cross-referencing our own First Order medical databases with the DNA presented here, it has been confirmed that the father of this child is none other than Kylo Ren himself.”_ A portrait of Kylo appears beside Rey’s.

If anyone in the room had any breath left, there likely would have been more gasps and sounds of disbelief. But now it is just dead silence. Total mortification has spread over everyone.

_“As I said, neither Rey or Kylo were found so it is likely they slipped away and are traveling together. Most likely with the child, given the indication the woman was in labor yesterday. Where they have gone is unclear but I assure you the First Order’s main priority is to bring these terrorists to justice.”_

_No, no, no, nope,_ Finn didn’t want to hear any more.

_“I wanted to share this all with you, not only to reveal to you the level of deception your leader has affronted us with but also because we must combine our efforts if we are to apprehend them. If any information is known or soon discovered about these murderous traitors or their spawn, it must be brought forth immediately. Their child must be found soon or there is no telling what she might be capable of under the teachings of these miscreants._

_"They will surely train her to bring our galaxy to destruction. For safety’s sake, I encourage all beings to understand how dangerous this situation is. They must be apprehended and stopped at all costs, which is why I’m issuing a galaxy-wide bounty on them. Anyone able to apprehend the fugitives and bring them to the First Order alive will be compensated handsomely.”_

The screen splits into thirds as not only Kylo and Rey’s faces are plastered across it, but also Chewie’s, _“As you can see, a wookiee is among the suspects. He was seen aiding the woman and is likely with them now. Any sightings or supposed whereabouts of this creature is also to be reported to the First Order as soon as possible. He could very well be the red flag that unveils them.”_

Finn’s hand goes to his chest, checking to see if his heart had burst through his shirt at this point. The stress might literally be killing him.

_“As your new leader, I will not fail you. I will try to the best of my ability to be the Supreme Leader you all deserve and to do that, we must first eliminate the threat of these despicable people and their child. Help me bring Supreme Leader Snoke to justice and we will all benefit from their downfall!”_

The screen cuts out and instantly, frenzied shouts and ramblings start spewing from everyone’s mouths.

“That traitor! How could she do this to us?”

“It had to be fake. He’s just using Rey as an excuse to find her too.”

“But what about what happened with Snoke? Why did Kylo kill Snoke and not her?”

“Rey wouldn’t do any of those things though! Would she? Jedi don't...do stuff like that.”

All these words have passed through Finn’s mind already so he remains silent, trying to decide what side he lays on. Is this just some giant scheme constructed by Hux to frame Rey into something she is not...or had Rey really had a child with that monster?

Rose pulls him with a clammy hand to the center of the room where it seemed like Poe was going through a similar episode to Finn. He was silent while surrounded by a cloud of angry.

He sees them approach and Kaydel nods over to the door against the far wall.  It’s a small room where some of the base’s power breakers are. The four of them enter the room not much bigger than a closet before the door is sealed and the frantic voices of the Resistance members are muffled.

“What the fuck was that?” Finn finally breathed out.

“Kriff, kriff, kriff. I feel like I could vomit. I might vomit. I don’t think this is a good place to vomit.” Rose is rambling frantically and Finn would comfort her if his own body wasn’t on the verge of shutting down.

Kaydel is rubbing her fingers into her temples but Poe just stands to face the wall with his hands on his hips. Finn looks up, hearing how Poe breathes heavily through his nostrils. Anger radiates from him and suddenly the much smaller room is much tenser given the state of their general.

He looks like he’s about to snap.

“Poe?” Rose tries to reach out.

“Neither of you knew?” he asks, his voice strained as he speaks through gritted teeth.

Finn stutters for a moment before he speaks, “What? No! Of course not! But we don’t even know if this is genuine. This could all be-”

“How naive are you? Of course, it’s fucking true!” he shouts interrupting Finn, finally turning around, hands still perched on his hips. All three of them step back a little, eyes wide from his harsh outburst.

“You think it’s true? You think this...this is all true?” Finn asks quietly.

“I do.”

“Poe!” Rose snaps at him and both men turn to look at her, “Rey is our friend. We know she wouldn’t actually do something like this. We would’ve known...wouldn’t we?”

“ _Would we_ though?” Poe questions back, “Think about it. How many times has Rey tried to convince me that maybe Kylo isn’t the evil overlord I make him out to be? How many times has she tried to explain to me the goodness behind his deeds? And how many times have I told her that I didn’t care if he was doing good, he was still the Supreme Leader of the First fucking Order. All that only for her to shout at me or march off because she was pissed I wasn’t listening. Honestly, I’m surprised we didn’t see it before. Rey isn’t who we thought she was, or at least who _you_ believed her to be.” He jams an accusatory finger into Finn’s shoulder.

It hurts, but that might just be because everything kind of hurts right now. Finn’s head is spinning and Poe’s aggressive attitude wasn’t helping. It made him feel small. Scolded. 

He has a brief flashback of his time as a stormtrooper when you were constantly belittled to suppress any thought or opinion. Poe must be seething if he was keeping Finn from either of those.

He continues in his rage, “For the first time, I think Hux is telling us the truth. Wherever she is, _if_ she’s still alive, she’s with him. And probably with whatever child they possibly could have had together.” He shuts his eyes and shudders a little, “I don’t even want to think about what offspring from that monster might be like.”

“Poe, shut up,” Finn tells him. He doesn’t want to believe it. He can feel Rose’s hands gripping his arm for support and he leans into her. This all felt so surreal. This was the kind of conversation that was never supposed to happen, but it was unfolding in front of him at a turbulent speed. Poe insisted Rey was guilty of Hux’s accusations.

Finn and Rose at least wanted to give Rey the benefit of the doubt. She was their friend and she deserved their loyalty, even when it was most tested.

Regardless if this was all true, Rey was now being hunted by the entire galaxy alongside Kylo Ren and possibly their child.

"There has to be some other explanation," Finn suggests, hoping desperately it's true.

“Oh please! She high tailed out of here almost five months ago now. It all adds up you guys,” he defends his standpoint while crossing his arms. He’s settled on this and won’t budge.

“No, that doesn't automatically make all that true,” Rose insists and Finn nods in silent agreement.

“Look, believe what you want about Rey if it makes this easier for you, but as far as I’m concerned, Hux and I are on the same page for once.”

Rose almost growls at him, “How could you say that?”

“If she was some great loyal and benevolent Jedi, then where the fuck is she? You don't think there's the slightest chance she went and whored around with the galaxy’s biggest kriffing lunatic?” He already felt possibly betrayed by one friend today and Poe wasn’t doing much better.

“Poe, Shut up!” Finn shouts. Poe shakes his head and barges out of the room, the door swinging behind him. Kaydel offers them concerned eyes, her way of trying to apologize for Poe’s behavior though it was not by any means her fault. She chases after him and Finn sees them get swarmed by the other members.

Rose grabs Finn’s hand, “Come on,” she grunts and pulls him from the small room and they dive through the crowd back for the main doors.

Finally free of the commotion Finn asks Rose, “Where are we going?” he hardly knows what to do but she seems determined as she rounds corners with an apparent destination in mind.

“The medbay. I’m going to check Rey’s records,” she huffs.

“What if we don’t like what we find?” _What if Poe is right?_ is what he really asks but can’t bring himself to say it.

“Then we will find her and ask her all about it. I’m not about to assume Rey has betrayed us. _If_ she has had a baby with…him," she hesitates for a moment, unable to fathom the concept, “then she will explain this to us herself, I know she will!”

Finn nods. Rey is their friend. That is what they had to remember.

They make their way through the halls until they find the medbay, rushing over to the droids that have been deactivated from lack of injury the Resistance received lately. Rose approaches the main computer, activating the droid that she knew tended to Rey in her time there, 2-1B.

His sensors light up and they rush over to speak to him.

“Too-Onebee, you remember Rey, the young Jedi you used to tend to?” Rose speaks as slowly as her jumbled mind allows her to.

“Of course Madam Tico. I remember all my patients.”

“What can you tell us of her condition?”

“Condition?” he questions, “Is Madam Rey fallen ill since my deactivation?”

“Not exactly,” Finn mumbles under his breath and Rose elbows him in the ribs.

“Is it possible she might have been p-pregnant?” Rose sounds so unsure of herself. She can’t remember if she had even said the word before. The current state of things in the galaxy hardly allowed people to imagine such a domestic life, least of all those engaged in war.  It hardly seems likely that Rey would have taken such a risk to have a baby. Surely she would see the dangers that would not only come to herself but also the child.

Especially if the acclaimed parentage was true.

2-1B buzzes for a brief moment while he registers her words, examining his circuits for any evidence on the matter. Finn and Rose wait in solicitude as the droid seems to take far too long for their nerves.

“I cannot confirm Madam Rey was pregnant.” Finn and Rose give a great sigh as they nearly deflate to the floor. Finn slaps a hand to his chest, attempting to ease his pounding heart.

“However,” he starts and as quickly as they found themselves at ease they are frozen still waiting for what the droid has to say, “She received a contraceptive implant thirty-four months ago and then once again roughly eight months ago.”

“The implant? Then her being pregnant is nearly impossible,” Rose says.

“Not quite, Madam Tico. The first implant administered to Madam Rey was only active for twenty-four months. My records show that the implant would have expired nearly ten months ago. I can not account for the two or so months that she had no functional implant though conception would have been possible. I would not even tell you this much if I did not think Madam Rey at risk for pregnancy.”

“But she only left five months ago, you couldn’t have confirmed if she was pregnant or not in all months before she left?” Finn asked the droid.

“She had not been coming to her check-ups. I thought it might have been because I embarrassed her in her last meeting with me which I take much shame in remembering,” Finn and Rose look at each other confused before the droid continued, “I asked Madam Rey when I administered the new and more efficient implant if she wanted me to scan for any possible sign of pregnancy, disclosing to her that if she had unprotected sex in the previous months she could very likely be with child.”

Finn and Rose cringe at his words but continue to listen anyway, “I meant it to be helpful, but she refused and left promptly. She seemed very upset when I mentioned the possibility and did not attend any of her following appointments.”

That didn’t sound too good.

“Many patients neglect their appointment times, only coming in when serious injuries need to be mended so I did not inquire with her further. I did not want to offend Madam Rey any more than I apparently had.”

“So...it would be possible? For her to be pregnant, I mean,” Finn asks this time. The word as foreign on his tongue as it must have been to Rose.

“Yes, I believe it would be. She was probably unaware of that particular implants shorter lifespan until I mentioned it to her at the appointment.” There is no ease to come to Finn and Rose now.

The droid is quiet for a moment before asking a question of his own, “I imagine these questions are only prompted because you believe Madam Rey to be with child?”

“Yes, Too-Onebee. The First Order released an ultrasound of a baby they believe to be Rey’s.”

“Why does the First Order claim to have such information?”

“Because apparently, they think Kylo Ren is the father,” if the droid could make a startled countenance he would have shown it. Instead, his visual sockets flicker which is about as close to astonishment the couple assumed him capable of.

“I see. Well, I do hope she is well. I would not wish Madam Rey or her possible child any harm,” he says “I must confess I find the supposed father slightly surprising but I imagine Madam Rey would make a most delightful mother. Do you know how far along the ultrasound appeared to be?”

“All Hux said was that the ultrasound indicated she was already in labor. She’s probably had the baby already if it’s true,” Rose responds but rather distant. She’s wandered away from the droid and stared seemingly at nothing.

“Which falls in line with the expiration of the implant and her brief absence nine months ago.”

Finn covers his face with his hands as he recalls the absence 2-1B speaks of.  Rey had gone on a supply run to Derilyn. It was supposed to take only a half a day cycle and she would have returned before nightfall. However, she said there had been a massive rainstorm and no ships were permitted to leave the atmosphere until it had passed. She had been gone for nearly five-day cycles, claiming the solitude gave her more than enough time to meditate.

Doubt trickles in his mind as he wonders now if she was meeting with him every time she departed the base.  If she had heard of the storm predictions and planned to meet him there to prolong their time together.

Finn shakes his head. He shouldn't jump to conclusions like that. He had to believe that all of this was to only be confirmed or denied by Rey herself. Rose’s insistence that Rey would explain if there was anything to explain would surely occur and this would all be some dreadful nightmare in an alternate reality.

Regardless of trying to calm himself, his nerves still persist. He goes back and forth between his loyalty to Rey and the cold feeling of betrayal from her. His mind cannot decide where to stand and it makes him feel guilty in a way.

Rose thanks 2-1B before deactivating him and they stumble back to their shared quarters.  They don’t speak a word until Finn falls back on their bed and a loud groan escapes him. His exhaustion was evident though he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping. Rose continued to pace along the room.

“Tomorrow we will try to contact her again. We’ll try to connect the uplink to the Falcon and see if we can get ahold of her or Chewie. If not, we will track it through the base’s main computer. Surely we could locate it if we tried hard enough. They will no doubt be in close range of wherever the Falcon is.”

Finn sits back up. That sounds promising. Even if it was true, maybe he and Rose could find her before anyone else in the galaxy did.

Because apparently their friend now had a price over her head, just as Kylo does and evidently their hypothetical baby. He shudders again at the notion before he faceplants against the pillow. Another groan leaves him though it’s muffled.

* * *

 

On Batuu, a Felucian bartender cleans several glasses while the holonet blares behind him. Apparently that Supreme Leader and that Jedi woman were doing a lot more than just fighting off some guards it seemed. The ultrasound of a baby hangs over his head and obscene gestures are made by several of the more tipsy patrons. Himself and others at the bar snicker at the implication.

A portly man slams his empty glass on the counter, “Another!”

“You sure you can pay for it, buddy? You've had a lot by now.”

“Hey, I got it covered," he slurs, "Just sold my ship for a decent sum and I think I can afford a few drinks to celebrate, even if it means I have to watch the gods awful news.” He swats his hand to the screens behind the bar. The faces of Kylo Ren and that girl on every single one.

“Sounds like you got a pretty good deal then,” the felucian bartender says to the round man.

“Yep. Right place, right time, right ship to sell and apparently the right wookiee imbecile to buy it from me. That old piece of junk.”

“A wookiee?” the felucian asks, pouring more of the green liquid into the glass.

“Yep. Massive, tall as a tree. I’ve never actually seen one up close before.”

“Sounds exciting…” his voice heavy with sarcasm.

The holonet continues over them, _“They must be apprehended and stopped at all costs, which is why I’m issuing a galaxy-wide bounty on them. Anyone able to apprehend the fugitives and bring them to the First Order alive will be compensated handsomely.”_

“Hey, listen to that!” another wasted patron says, “Anyone that could bag these bastards gets a reward from those First Order creeps!”

The round man raises his glass, “Well, in that case, I better get me a ship.” He laughs and teeters on his stool until he looks back to the screen. The New Supreme Leader continues and an image of a wookiee has been placed beside the newly minted fugitives.

_“As you can see, a wookiee is among the suspects. He was witnessed aiding the woman and is likely with them now. Any sightings or believed whereabouts of this creature is also to be reported to the First Order as soon as possible. He could very well be the red flag that unveils them.”_

“Oh fuck me…” the round man says, looking more sober than he has in hours.

“What is it, pal?” the bartender asks.

“Privately owned shipping company, my ass. That’s the Kashyyykian moof-milker that bought by kriffing ship!”

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux is a turd and Poe is a dangus. 
> 
> Round man makes some calls and Hux sends some friends to Batuu to investigate semi-soon.


	13. Unfurl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival to Lah'mu. 
> 
> Finn and Rose investigate and come to a bitter realization.
> 
> Minor tidbit of Hux being a pretentious ass. More Batuu and Nurmi in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if I'm ever going to post a chapter that I don't think is a total mess. That being said, you can tell how I feel about this one. 
> 
> School is kind of crazy right now so I'm feeling kind of frantic lately. Hopefully, I can keep up with posting fairly regularly. 
> 
> OH!!! Almost forgot, we recently passed the 150 kudos mark and holy shit does that make me feel special. Thank you as always to everyone that is reading and leaving comments. It makes me smile like an idiot at my screen and I look insane but I love it.

Rey was holding Lorelei who was sleeping again. They were both comfortably dressed in some clothes that Maz had masterfully completed. It was the first time in, Ben isn’t sure how long, that he’s wearing clothes that didn’t come from the First Order. He thought he might feel strange but the moment he put them on he realized how nice they felt. They were practically pajamas.

He sits with his back against the wall as he lounges on the bed. He has an arm around Rey and they speak through their thoughts so not to disturb the sleeping baby.

_Do you think by now everyone knows?_ Rey asks.

Ben just nods, his eyes roving over Lorelei. His chest tightens to think that their daughter was no longer a secret. A secret they so desperately tried to keep.

Had things gone differently, Ben would have gone to Kashyyyk for the birth. He would have stayed as long as he could...and then he would have had to return to the First Order, forced to only see them through the bond. It wasn’t what either of them had wanted but what they both knew was necessary.

But now, everything has changed. Now, running away was their only option. It was the only way they could keep her safe and out of reach from everything that was trying to hurt them. And although it is a terrifying principle, to think of everything that has had to happen to come to this outcome, Ben finds he is slightly, and albeit selfishly, relieved. He knows he would have broken if he had to load up on a ship and leave Rey and Lorelei behind on Kashyyyk. He hated the idea of Rey watching him leave.

Now, he gets to stay with them. He gets to hold his daughter whenever he wants. He can look up and Rey will always be there. A refreshing sight after the long months of the bond behaving strangely during her pregnancy.

Rey gives a quiet laugh, more of an exhale from the nose as she grinned at him, _I know how you feel._

_I know we decided on me leaving after Kashyyyk, but I don’t think I would have been able to, Rey. It would have killed me to leave you two behind,_ he says to her.

_I know it would have. I understood why we needed to, I’m just glad we didn’t have to. Even if it means now we are in a shittier situation, at least we are all together,_ Rey runs the pad of her thumb along the groove of the scar on his cheek. She always did that.

_Admiring your work again?_ He pokes at her.

_Always,_ she answers back.

Ben loves his scar. It reminds of what he thinks of as the turning point. He physically had a scar to show just how split his soul was when he received it. He was so fragmented, shattered.

And yet, when she marked him he suddenly belonged to her. At least that's how he liked to think of it.

When he had first told her that concept she just rolled her eyes, reminding him that she nearly killed him. He didn’t care though. It was a constant reminder of how much he has changed. How she helped him realize who he could choose to be. And when she runs her fingers along his face, in soft caress against the scarred flesh, he feels so loved.

Rey loved him. It still surprises him that she could love him with the same ardency and passion that he loves her.

And now they have a new kind of love they share. The love for Lorelei. Something so protective and instinctual. He would do anything for her.

He was her  _father_.

He dwells for a moment on his own father. Ben understands now, why his father believed so wholeheartedly, until his last moment, that his son was alive. He finally understood why his father never really gave up on him. Ben would do whatever it takes to keep Lorelei safe, and he would never give up on her, even if it killed him. Even if she did to him what he did to his father. He would always love her.

He looked to Rey and she was watching him with glassy eyes. She heard those thoughts, _I know...I know,_ she tells him.

Lorelei’s eyes flutter a little and Rey is so happy to see her again. It was strange to miss someone even if they were sleeping in your arms but completely possible. She speaks softly to the baby waking up. Rey’s soft fingers leave Ben’s face to stroke past Lorelei’s cheeks now. Such a soft exchange and so beautifully tender.

Watching Rey tend to their baby, to see how her eyes light up at the sight of Lorelei makes his heart melt. He didn’t think he could love Rey anymore than he already did, but he stands corrected. There seemed to be something new almost by the hour. She was such an amazing mother.

Ben runs his hand over Lorelei’s head, her signature once again recognizing his. Her light snuggly resided between him and Rey and glowed in harmony.

Always protected even in their minds. She felt safe and that was all that mattered. She felt warm and protected and loved. Ben is relieved that although very little has gone as planned, this is right. Lorelei knows how loved she is and in a way that was all that mattered.

Ben leans forward to press his lips to her small palms, something he already loved to do so much. Rey notices this and runs her free hand through his hair. His fascination with Lei’s little hands evident, almost as if he was studying them, curious about how they could be so small and still so strong.

Rey knew that outside this bedroom, outside this ship, was a galaxy they now had to hide from. Rey didn’t care what was said about her. She didn’t care if everyone in the Resistance despised her, even her friends. She couldn’t care, not when she had so much to protect.

And yet, amid the chaos of their situation, Rey’s mind is clear.

She was scared to be sure. How could she not be?  But her thoughts were pure. They were entirely focused on her family. She watches as this man hovers his face over the baby on her chest. There has been so much conflict in his life, but with this he is determined. His eyes are clear of darkness when he looks at her. At them. Their family.

_I love you. I love you. I  love you._

The words are constant and but she doesn’t know if the words are from his mind or her own. Probably both.

Ben is holding Lorelei’s little hands with his thumb and index finger, stroking past her little knuckles when he catches back up to Rey’s thoughts. He smiles at her before leaning in to catch her mouth with his.

Maz walks in just then, “Oi, none of that in front of the baby. She’s too young.” Rey rolls her eyes but Ben’s ears turn pink. Maz carries on, ignoring the fact she had interrupted something and jumps right into conversation, “Well, we should be leaving hyperspace within the hour so I just thought I’d give you a heads up.”

“Thank you,” Ben says quickly, wondering if she would leave now.

“Relax Solo, you won’t get rid of me so easy,” she smirks at him. Ben was irritated a moment ago but now he feels a little ashamed. He should be more patient with Maz, after everything she has done to help them. Risking her life. Risking everything she has basically. He isn’t sure what kind of state the troopers left her recently restored castle in but it likely isn’t good.

“Sorry, I didn't mean-” he begins to apologize.

“Oh please. If I was in either of your places and a crazy old lady was barging in every other moment I’d be a little irritated too.”

“Maz, we are not irritated,” Rey assures her ego, “What else do you have to tell us?”

Maz looks down for a moment, “Well, there’s always so much bad news and I hate to be the one to give it but it’s something you should know.” They both sit up straighter and lean forward. This seemed serious and Maz sighs. She was tired of telling them of all the horrors thrown their way. “Emmie sent me a transcription of a speech the First Order gave yesterday...and Hux is the Supreme Leader.”

Ben removes his hands away from the baby, his fists clenched and shaking, “He survived?”

“Apparently,” Maz answers. “He shared security footage salvaged from the Supremacy. They know it was you that killed Snoke,” she looks to Ben.

How the hell had Hux even managed to find that? How long had Hux known and Ben failed to notice the nefarious plan brewing for so long?

Ben feels Rey’s hand on his shoulder tighten as she inquires further, “What else, Maz?”

“We assumed this much would happen, so in a way, it doesn’t change anything-”

“What else?” Ben says this time, impatient to hear what comes next.

Maz sighs, “There’s a bounty out for you two...and they want her,” she nods to Lorelei now, “They think you’re gonna train her to ‘destroy the galaxy’ or some shit. That’s what Hux tried to tell everyone. Said she was dangerous.”

Within a matter of seconds, Ben and Rey go through a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, ferocity and above all else, a desperate desire to protect.

Probably sensing her parent’s distress, Lorelei begins to cry. She’s scared too.

Rey holds Lorelei tighter as Ben tries to calm his mind, hoping it would calm the baby. Maz walks forward, “They won’t get her though. All is going to be fine. They won’t find you all the way out here.”

Ben nods, hoping so intently that she was right. He breathes deeply but he needs something else to calm him. He needs...

Rey passes him Lorelei, sensing his panic. That was what he needed. He needed her... _them_. Her cries trail off to soft whimpers and he looks down at her little face. So tiny, so innocent.

Why did she have to carry his burdens? Why did Lorelei and Rey have to pay for all of his mistakes? 

Maz was right though. They all knew this was what was going to happen one way or another. The truth of it doesn't make it easier to accept though, especially since it was Hux that had said such things. But their determination increases with a vengeance. They will not be ruined by that man. Hux was not worth it.

A small voice in the back of his head reminds Ben how he should have killed him years ago. Maybe then this could have all been avoided. But that’s all in the past. He held the future in his arms and he needed to keep her safe.

_We’ll be okay,_ Rey sends to him. His eyes find hers and his heart eased further.

Between himself, Rey, Maz and Chewie, they could make this work.  They had to. There were no other options. They would be “okay”.

All remains quiet for a while. Tension dissipates as they understand that they are still safe. A few minutes go by before Maz speaks up again, “On a lighter note...I found something.”

Ben and Rey turn back to her to see she’s holding an old tooka doll in her hands. Rey looks to it in confusion but Ben practically gasps.

“Where did you find that?” he asks her.

Maz turns to him, an old tooka doll in hand, a grin on her face, “You left it behind after you and your father visited once.”

She walks forward with it and places it in Ben’s free hand. He had remembered playing with this tooka doll from some of his earliest memories. It was smaller than he remembered but still, it made him smile, “You kept it?”

Maz nodded. “I held onto it so I could return it to you when you came back but...you didn’t. So I just held onto it for myself. I wanted to keep it as a reminder of Ben Solo even when Ben Solo couldn’t remember himself.”

Maz covers the doll with her hand so Ben looks up to her goggled eyes. His hands are massive in comparison to her own but they hold the toy as tenderly as he holds his daughter, “But you found your way back. Ben Solo came home, to his family,” Maz gestures to Rey who was sitting beside him, “so I don’t need it anymore and I know you probably don’t either but I thought at least the newest Solo might enjoy it.”

Ben nods, “Thanks, Maz,” he returns his attention back to the toy, amazed at the condition of it after it had seemingly spent the last twenty years in the custody of a pirate. Rey leans into him as she runs her fingers over the doll.

“Does he have a name?” she asks Ben and he looks back at her with a sheepish expression.

Maz laughs out, “If you don’t tell her I will,” she warns him.

Ben huffs, “I used to call him…” Maz can hardly restrain herself and she blurts it out before Ben has the chance.

“Captain Kriffie!” Maz belts out in hysterical laughter and Ben rolls his eyes.

“You didn’t,” Rey gapes at him but the look he gives her confirms everything, “Well that explains a lot.”

“My dad said it all the time,” he tried to defend himself but dropped his head on her shoulder in shame, “I didn’t realize it was a bad word until I told my mom what I had named him.”

“You told your mom? What did she do?” Rey asks, her expression between scandalized and amused.

“She sat me down at the table and we waited until my dad came home. She told me to tell him what I had named the toy.”

“Did you?”

“I did, fully expecting to get yelled at but he just laughed hysterically. My mom started smacking him and saying it was all his fault I had the mouth of a scoundrel,” he smiles at the memory. It seemed like a lifetime ago, almost like it could have been someone else’s memories but they were his. He forgot how much he liked some of those early moments, “I just called him Captain after that.”

“Good move,” she laughs and Ben loves that sound. It was one he didn’t hear enough and loves to revel in it whenever he can.

Maz is still recovering from her hysterics. She had removed her goggles and was wiping away at her eyes. “That one never gets old.”

Ben is still uneasy from the news, but it isn’t as if he would ever adjust to it. Instead, he tries to focus on this happy moment. When all worries slipped away so they could laugh. This is what he wants.

Suddenly they hear a beeping from the cockpit. They all recognize the sound. They are nearly out of hyperspace. They were almost to Lah’mu. Rey feels Ben’s hand tighten slightly around her shoulder.

They made it.

* * *

  
Finn and Rose had spent the last five hours trying to get a hold of the Falcon with no success. They were exhausted. Neither of them had slept last night. The revealing of the news from Hux, the reaction from Poe, and then 2-1B’s observations left them feeling fairly frantic.

“This isn’t working. Maybe they changed ships,” Rose says.

“Chewie wouldn’t just up and abandon the ship. It means too much to him,” Finn argues. Chewie was very protective of the Falcon.

“But he knows it’s too recognizable. If they were running they would have taken precautions,” Rose says back and Finn tries to think of an excuse. Anything to debunk those accusations and rationalize that Chewie and Rey were just busy this morning. But it’s futile. Maybe that was all just wishful thinking.

“So what now then? What do we do?” he asks Rose.

“Hux said that the one knight went to Takodana, right?” she ponders.

“Yeah. I think the bounty hunters tracked her down and they believed Kylo would have tried to find her there. Something like that.”

“Takodana can’t be a coincidence. Maz had to have known something. Don’t you think?” Rose says, “We need to talk to her.”

Finn knows it was very likely Maz was involved in all this. She probably did know something. It was a solid lead, “Yeah. We should. But we need to go there ourselves. After the First Order left, they are probably keeping close surveillance on the castle. We don’t want them to track our transmission. We need to ask her in person.”

Rose agrees and within the hour, they are stowed away on a shuttle, en route to Takodana.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, sir. Could you please repeat yourself? I’m having a hard time understanding you,” Mitaka tries to speak as calmly as possible.

_“I said I know where those kriffing bastards are. The bleedin’ wookiee bought my ship just yesterday. They was here!”_

“And when you say ‘here’, where do you mean, sir?”

_“I told you. Batuu! At kriffing Black Spire!”_ the man shouts into the speaker and Mitaka’s ears ring.

“Thank you, sir. Could you please hold for a moment?” The man makes a strange grunt kind of sound that Mitaka supposes is a yes. He puts the transmission on hold and runs to the General.

_No_ , Mitaka corrects himself, _Supreme Leader Hux. Remember that and you won’t be killed._

“Supreme Leader, Hux?”

“What is it, Lieutenant?” Hux sneers at him.

“We’ve received another call. I think this one might be genuine.” Ever since Hux had finished his speech yesterday, the First Order had been getting all kinds of false leads and tips. All looking for payment of some kind. None were credible so far but Hux is glad that the incentive is enough for people to seek allegiance with him.

“Where is it from?” Hux queries.

“Batuu, sir,” Mitaka answers. Hux turns his head, eyebrows lifting slightly. It seemed plausible. It was a planet that was practically overflowing with stowaways and hiding scum rats. _Of course._

“Let me speak with him.”

A moment later, Mitaka has the man’s voice on the monitor’s speaker and his ravings continue. This man sounded drunk almost, “Excuse me, sir!” Hux shouts over him, “This is Supreme Leader Hux. Are you saying you have spotted the fugitives on Batuu?”

_“Yes! I saw that wookiee. He walked right up to me and wanted to buy my ship. Bought it for thirty thousand credits. A whole 15 thousand more than I bought for it when it was new-”_  
“Sir, please! I do not care about the price value of your ship. I am concerned whether or not your statement is true. If we conduct an investigation on Batuu only to discover this is some attempt to retrieve a reward, I assure you it will result in your arrest.”  
_“Oi! Wa’s that supposed to mean? Youse think I’m lying? The kriffing wookiee stood right in front of me. Claimed he was working for a private shipping company and all nervous like...very strange behavior.”_

“What else was strange about this creature?”

_“When I said I would trade ships with him, he got all defensive and insisted he had hitched there. That the ship was not his to sell.”_

Hux thinks this blubbering idiot might actually have stumbled on to something, “What did the other ship look like? The one you wanted to trade for?”

_“It was in a fair state. A little old looking but nicely sized and clean.”_ _  
_ “Did you see anyone else around the ship? Any sign that the other fugitives were hiding there?”

_“Well, after I got paid, I went straight to the cantina to celebrate. It had been a while since I could pay for more than a single drink and I was looking forward to it. I wouldn’t have been able to tell who was inside. Although I did see another vehicle parked in front of it when I looked out the window. A pretty big speeder. Couldn’t see anyone as it was blocking the ramp.”_

“Could you identify the speeder if you saw it again?”

_“Yeah-huh…”_

Hux pauses, “Is that a yes?”

_“Yeah-huh…”_

“...Very good. Remain where you are. We will send some representatives your way for further questions. For your sake, I hope you make this worth our time. My Knights are eager to exact revenge on their former master and if they discover you have deprived them of their time they will be most displeased.”

_“Course, sir. What about payment?”_

Hux groans inwardly. Of course, this man was eager to get more credits to spend on whiskey, “I will let you speak again with my Lieutenant. Give him your information and once we retrieve hopefully worthwhile information, a small sum will be forwarded to your account.”  
_“Beautiful. Thank you, sir. Uhh...and long live the First Order,”_ the man says, further humiliating himself.

“How kind of you,” Hux says will ferocious sarcasm before turning away and leaving the room. He goes to notify Xid and tell him where his chase will be going next.

* * *

 

They fly over the atmosphere. It’s cloudy and looks like it rains often.

Ben can tell that Rey loves it already. It’s beautifully green and coated in occasional patches of black sand. Maz is flying towards the coordinates, to the Erso home that was left behind all those years ago and it leaves Ben feeling anxious. Not in worry like he might have thought, but in something more like excitement.

It would be their home. Where they would raise their daughter. He wanted to know what it looked like.

Eventually, they see a white roof appear on the horizon and the computer blinks in arrival, “That’s it,” Maz says as she lowers the ship in the fields that lie before the homestead. She lowers the ramp and Rey begins to wrap a thick blanket around the baby. It doesn’t look too cold outside but still windy and cloudy enough that she didn’t want to risk anything.

By the end, all that is seemingly seen of the child is her pink little face wrapped in a bundle of warmth. She turns to Ben, ready to get off the ship when he looks down to her and Lorelei for a moment, “Maybe I should go first. Just to make sure everything’s clear.”

Rey’s shoulders sink. She was itching to get off the ship but knew Ben was right. They had to double, triple check everything. Even if they couldn’t sense any threats within the house, it was smart to be extra sure.

“Okay…” she says. Ben summons his lightsaber and holds it in his hands. She isn’t sure she’s ever seen him hold it without gloves. He leans down to kiss Rey’s forehead before he rushed off the ship and over to the house. Maz and Rey move back to the cockpit and watch him run towards the structure.

“This boy likes to take precautions,” she says almost rolling her eyes  
“I know, but he needs to do this. It helps put him at ease. He’s been so worried and if this gives him any relief then it’s worth it. I want him to know that we’re okay.”

Maz nods in understanding before she gestures to Lorelei. Wrapped all snug and content, “She seems to think so.”

Rey smiles, “Her mind fits between ours. She knows she’s protected.”  
“Between your minds?”

“Yeah. Well, I can always feel hints of Ben, more so when we are together. There’s a place in my mind where I always know where to find him. It’s his place just like I have a place in his head. But with Lorelei, it’s like she grew between us. It’s strange. So natural. As if she’s always been there.”

Maz sets a hand on Rey’s shoulder and they meet eyes, “I know you don’t remember being held like this or loved like this...but you’re so good at it already, Rey. Such a caring mother.”

Rey smirks a little at the compliment, “It’s strange to think of myself as a mother.”

“And Ben as a father?” Maz asks her.

“At first, yes. But not anymore. I know it’s only been a few days, but the way he is with her...he’s so gentle Maz.”

“He is. I wasn’t entirely expecting that. I'm sure that came as no surprise to you.”

Rey shakes her head with a smile, “He is so caring to me, so loving. I didn’t know what it was like to be loved or to love someone in return before Ben. He’s changed so much since I first met him. He’s changed so much for me. And I know everything is a total mess, galaxy wise, but if I have him and Lei, then I think I’ll always be able to move forward.”

Maz listens to her in a slight awe. Only slightly because she expected as much from them. “Maker, you two are so sappy for each other. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful. It’s just that it’s the kind of love everyone dreams of but nobody thinks is real. And to see you actually found it, well, it’s just kind of surreal to witness first hand.”

Rey smiles at her before looking back down at Lorelei. She knows what she and Ben share is incredibly intimate. Very few, perhaps none, have something even resembling what they share with each other, but Rey isn’t sure how she could live without it. It’s given them their daughter.

Ben’s voice breaks through her mind as they see him wave from the house, _It’s okay. All clear._

_Coming,_ she tells him but she sees him walking back towards them anyway.

_Were you talking about me?_ even in his thoughts could she hear the smirk in his tone.

_Yep,_ Rey says without any shame or discretion.

_Bad things?_ He asks.

_Horrible,_ she jokes and she feels how his heart brims with delight at her attempts to amuse him.

_I knew it._

Rey’s feet find solid ground for the first time in days and it’s so refreshing, especially since she’s considerably lighter on her feet now. They walk through the field, wind blowing in her hair, her cheeks and nose rosy from the brisk air. She closes her eyes for a moment and breathes it all in while keeping Lorelei close to her chest.

She loves this place already and yet there was something so familiar about it that she couldn’t quite place.

Ben approaches her and wraps his arms around them. She sinks into his warmth. As much as she already loved their prospective new house, this was always her true home. Being in his arms, Lorelei held tight. That would never change.

Ben takes Lorelei from Rey when they pull apart. Even though it hadn’t even been ten minutes, he was eager to hold her again. He cuddles her close to his chest as Rey walks ahead to take in the house.

It’s a little run down looking. Something somber left behind by what transpired here over forty years ago. But it’s a nice size. It has a kitchen, a bedroom, a living room, a fresher. Much more hospitable than a fallen AT-AT.

Maz was already going to work and clearing surfaces, “Some elbow grease and a little imagination and I think you’ve got yourself a new home.”

Rey agrees.

Ben waited outside, not wanting the dust to bother Lorelei. He held her close and tucked her even tighter into the blankets. He kept her face close to his so his breath could fan out over her cheeks, attempting to keep them warm. His lips pressed kisses against her nose every so often and she would coo loud enough that Ben felt weak in the knees.

Just then, another ship arrives and they are all relieved to see it’s the ship Chewie bought. He’s here. They flag him down and he descends the ramp, meeting Ben at the front of the house.

“Everything okay?” Ben asks him.

“Yeah. Ship was a mess but I cleaned it up pretty nicely. Should be clear now. What’s going on inside? Everything good?”

Ben smirks, “We need to clean the house now.” Chewie groans and Ben gives a small laugh, “Relax, you’ve done enough. Why don’t you take her for a while? Wookiees are good arms for napping in,” Ben speaks from experience. Chewie held him many times as a child. Ben holds out his arms in offer and Chewie instantly holds out his own. Lorelei settles into him, even warmer now against his fur.

Chewie purrs, “Hi, little Lei. I missed you.”

Ben smiles at the name Chewie has given her before he heads inside to help clean. It would take more than the rest of the day, probably more of a prolonged project but a welcome one. They would probably still sleep in the Epoch for tonight but within the next few days, the house should be clean enough for them to stay comfortably in.

Ben and Rey start the process of scrubbing every surface and discarding broken things. It looked like the home had been turned over when the Erso family was discovered. The table in the kitchen was knocked over, furniture was askew. Other than that, it looks like it hasn’t been touched since. Frozen in time.

Maz was checking out the hydro purifiers before she started on maintenance. When she was surprised to see the purifiers still working and the water was all clean, she went from the sink to the shower, and eventually the toilet. She cursed at all of them loudly but they all proved to be functional. Rey snickers at the pirate woman and wonders if that’s what she sounded like fixing things back on Jakku. She always talked to herself to keep from going insane, which sounded counterproductive, but it had left her with the mouth of...well, a scavenger.

She stands up from where she’s been hunched over cleaning and winces as she feels a lingering tension in her back. Within seconds Ben is standing beside her, big hands tracing carefully over her spine. He senses her pain.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks her. Ben scolds himself for not noticing earlier.

“It’s not that bad, really,” Rey assures him, and it’s true. Just part of recovery.

“Let’s take a break,” he suggests and she nods. He pulls her by the hand until they are back outside with Chewie, Lorelei asleep in his arms, as expected. Chewie asks if they want her back but sensing how peaceful she feels they tell him to keep hold of her which he is more than happy to do.

Ben pulls Rey along further up the hill until they can see the full expanse of the landscape before them. He takes it in for a moment. He could easily look at this every day, especially if he got to look at it with his family. He’s about to say this to Rey but when he looks at her, she’s got tears running down her face.

“Rey?” he stands ever closer, “What’s wrong?”

She looks up to him, realizing she’s crying when he wipes tears away from her cheeks with his thumb. Damn all these hormones, “I’m fine...I just realized something.”

She looks out to the endless miles of green and black, her loose hair flying wildly in the wind. She looked so beautiful. She looked like she belonged here. He waits patiently until she finds the right words.

“You remember when we first touched hands?” she asks him. He wasn’t expecting her to mention that, but how could he forget it? It had been the first time Ben recalled being touched with affection since his mother had hugged him goodbye at the Academy. He nods, just watching her, waiting to hear where this was going.

“I saw your future then. It’s probably changed since then. Different outcomes and infinite variations, all that Jedi crap,” Ben chuckles for a moment as she continues, “but I always remembered seeing you in a place like this. I saw myself with you. We were happy here.”

Ben smiles. He likes that, “I am happy here,” he tells her.

“Me too.”

He pulls her closer until her feet leave the ground and he kisses her passionately. Hands warm on her waist while hers wrapped around his neck.

Ben thinks this is the first time he's _really_  thoroughly kissed Rey since Derilyn as well. He thinks of their brief time on that planet so fondly to know it was where they created Lorelei.

He tries to make up for their lost time by kissing her fervently, ardently, and with everything Ben has to give her. 

Lah'mu hums along with them and they both think that perhaps this future was inevitable. No matter what variation they found themselves in, maybe they were always supposed to find their home here. 

At the bottom of the hill, just outside the house, Maz scoffs from where she stands next to Chewie, “Unbelievable. They sneak off from their chores to go make out like a couple of teenagers while I was literally knee-deep in a kriffing toilet!”

Chewie shushes her promptly as if to scold her, “Maz, Lei’s sleeping.”

 

* * *

 

Finn and Rose arrive on Takodana. They make their way to the castle, or what’s left of it. They knew Maz was in the process of restoring it but it looked like it had just been through another battle.

They land their shuttle and head inside. Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any First Order personnel remaining from the alleged showdown from the other day. Finn is still glad though they showed up in person. Even if there was no chance of their transmission being intercepted, they needed to get away from Arkanis for a while. Their confrontation with Poe left them uneasy and they were glad to get some air, even if by air that meant investigating whether or not Rey had a baby with Kylo fucking Ren.

They enter the bar to the sight of several characters passed out on tables while others are singing in celebration with their glasses raised. Other than that, the place was pretty scarce and Maz didn’t appear to be anywhere.

“What the hell is going on?” Finn whispers over to Rose.

“I have no idea. Let’s try to find Maz,” she says and they both head for the back room they know to be her office. They dodge the shattering of glass and drunken activities as best they can as they slip into the hallway and knock on the door, only they get no answer.

“Where else would she be?” Finn wonders. Without warning, ME-8D9 blares from behind Finn and he jumps practically on top of Rose, “Kriff Emmie, what was that for?”

“I did not intend to scare you, Master Finn,” she replies. Just then, another crash of glass shatters in the distance and the applause and cheer of the creatures intensifies.

“What’s going on out there?” Finn asks, “They’re trashing the place.”

“Madam Kanata has granted these patrons free beverages for life. A reward from their service. They are celebrating their victory.”

“What victory?” Rose asks.

“Against the death troopers and the Knight that came here. They tried to attack the castle and they helped protect it.” Finn and Rose look at each other warily. Maybe they could uncover some information from ME.

“So, where’s Maz now?” Rose asks.

“Madam Kanata is not here at present? She’s left Takodana on personal business.”

_Personal business? What strange timing,_ Rose wonders to herself. She doesn’t think too much before asking, instead she just says it, “She’s with Rey, isn’t she?”

ME’s sensors blink for a moment before speaking, “I am not authorized at present to reveal Madam Kanata’s whereabouts.”

Finn groans, “I think you just did.”

“I did no such thing. I’ve given no indication that Madam Kanata is with Madam Rey,” ME defends herself.

Rose steps a little closer, hands clasped as if she was begging, “We really need to speak to Rey, Emmie. Is there anything you can give us that can help? We’re just worried about her. We don’t want her to get hurt. The entire galaxy is out to find her...and Kylo.”

“Master Solo,” is all ME gives back to them. They eyeball each other. Why was she talking about Han?

“What?” Rose attempts to understand but the droid doesn't answer back.

Instead, ME just whirs until she holds out her metallic hand, a small chip protrudes from her finger, “On this drive are coordinates. They lead to Madam Kanata’s final location before departing from Takodana. This is all I can give you I’m afraid but feel free to look for yourselves of what remains. No one will be there, though I hope it may answer some of your questions that I can not.”

Rose is slightly confused but takes the drive from ME’s finger, “Thank you, Emmie.”

“You’re welcome, Madam Tico,” and with that, the droid turns away back from where she came.

Finn and Rose quietly make their way back to their shuttle. They look at each other silently as Rose plugs the drive into their ship, the coordinates coming up on the navicom. They don’t say much on the ride over and it feels loaded. Like they both already know whatever they find will confirm what they fear most.

This wasn’t some startling and dramatic plot twist in a holodrama. If Maz was involved, that meant a lot. Finn sits in turmoil as he tries to rationalize why the hell Maz would be helping Kylo Ren. She was loyal to Han. But perhaps it was also her loyalty to Rey that Maz was involved. He can’t imagine that she would voluntarily help Kylo, considering what he did to her castle the first time. It had to be her worry for Rey that she was included at all. Or maybe in respect for Han and Leia’s memory and not so much because he was their son.

Soon, they find themselves flying through the mountain ranges and the computer beeps in near arrival as they see a house protruding from the terrain. And there’s a ship out front. A First Order ship.

_No_. Kylo Ren’s TIE Silencer.

They both lock eyes with scandalized looks. This was all lining up too well. Perhaps they really had to face the truth.

They load off the ship and approach the craft first. It’s empty, gladly, but they squeeze inside far enough to notice the blue binary beacon plugged into his own navigational system. The same one, it seemed, that matched Rey’s when she left to go train with Luke. Finn swallows, or at least tries to swallow, his throat feels dry and he suddenly has a much more difficult time breathing.

He feels Rose pull him inside. The front door ajar and shuttering a little in the mountain breeze. At first, everything appears to be normal. The house looks undisturbed. But then Finn notices a few footprints that lead down the hall. They were from bare feet, wet with water and only noticeable from a certain angle. They lead away from a puddle in the middle of the kitchen, “What is that?” he asks Rose.

Rose’s eyes are wide as she speaks just above a whisper, “When a woman goes into labor, her water breaks.”

“It breaks?” he asks sounding confused.

“It flows,” she rephrases, “It tells the mother the baby’s coming.”

Finn steps back instantly, not wanting to get any on him, “Is that what this is? Rey’s...baby water?”

“You just say water, Finn,” she corrects him, too frazzled to confirm if it really was  _baby water_. Instead, she follows the wet footprints down the hallway. Finn walks right behind her, one of his hands gripping tight to her bicep in his anxiety.

They turn at the end to find a bedroom. The sheets on the bed are all tussled and there are strange stains left behind in the center, some looked dark enough to be blood, “This is where it happened. This is where she had the baby,” Rose says. Her voice is distant but she can tell that Finn is already too traumatized to notice. He’s just staring at the bed blankly.

This was all real.

Rose wipes her eyes, so confused and lost. She’s concerned for her friend, of course, apparently having given birth on this bed. But she also feels the bitter sting of betrayal. Rose had been so adamant to defend Rey, to refuse the truth that Hux tried to spread to the galaxy. But it seemed like it was true.

Her eyes wander to the nightstand to see the second beacon sitting there. The one that matched to the other in the TIE out front. She steps forward to see a pair of scissors beside some black gloves.

Some very large black gloves...for very large hands.

“Finn,” she calls him, holding up the gloves, massive compared to her own hands, “It’s all true.”

Rey has had a child with Kylo Ren.

“I know,” is all he can manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how easily Finn and Rose could have gotten inside the Silencer but for my sake, I just pretended that Ben left it unlocked and they got inside. He was in a rush after all but at this point, I'm just trying to atone for my lazy ass writing.
> 
> We got a brief little cleaning montage in the house but I've listened to "Two Worlds, One Family" from the Tarzan soundtrack way too much in the last week. I really love when the parents are making a cute little castaway treehouse and working together right before they get mauled by a fucking jaguar. Basically, I really dig it so more of that Phil Collins vibe may be coming back around.  
> 
> 
> I feel very "blurg" about this chapter but oh well, keep moving forward.
> 
> Bonus points to anyone that caught that minor "Moonrise Kingdom" ref.


	14. Settle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nurmi gets questioned, fat man gets scared (I'm committed to not give him a name. He will henceforth be known as Fat Man!!) and our Lah'mu lovelies talk things over with Chewie and Maz who at this point are the happy grandparents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have spent so long trying to figure out how I wanted this to go so I can have everything tie in well for future chapters. I'm still not sure if I love what I did here but I have a pretty clear idea of where it's headed.
> 
> In this chapter, we get more glimpses into the Lah'mu life. I've looked at a lot of reference pictures for the Erso homestead but I've added and tweaked where I needed things so it's not going to be architecturally cannon (is that a thing? should I advise you in the tags that my architecture is not in character?)
> 
> I read back through the last chapter since I've posted it and I found a lot of errors and things that bugged me but I still got a lot of positive feedback from it that I honestly feel so encouraged by everyone that is reading. You have all been so incredibly motivating and I can't believe people like this story at all!
> 
> Thank you again for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments!! They make me feel special.

 

Xid stood to the side while Iella questioned the fat man, the one who called them here to this pathetic place. The other Knights stood by, eyes roving over the terrain wondering if Kylo had been here.

“Details, you imbecile. Don’t just tell me it was big. We need to know what this speeder looked like!”

The fat man is shaking where he was pinned against the wall. Sweat was pouring down his face and soaking his clothes. What a miserable looking creature...

Xid steps forward, “Every moment you stand here and slobber all over, the fugitives are getting further from our reach! Don’t you dare waste our time!”

The man sobs, “It was gray, had blue markings on it. Looked medical to me but didn’t have no hospital name on it or nothing.” The man is sweating and Xid is sure he’s pissed himself if the smell is any indication.

“That’s better. I know you only called because you thought you’d get a nice sum of booze money, but if we leave here unsatisfied, you get no money and you will be placed under arrest for wasting our time. Unless of course, you spill your guts open getting onboard,” a threat to make sure he keeps himself in line, “Makes little difference record wise to the First Order if you live or die...You're a means to an end.” She throws the bulbous man into the nearest wall and marches off. Xid and Soldar follow her as Nourdi, Azmo, and Dono remain. They would stay with the man and see what else they could squeeze out of him.

Iella was right. People were a means to an end and they would use them where convenient. That was something the mightly Kylo Ren must have forgotten. 

That bitch really must have done a number on him.

* * *

 

Nurmi is slicing jogan fruit when there is a pounding at the door. She instantly freezes but her hands start shaking. She wonders if she should keep hold of the knife but decides to leave it on the counter as she walks towards the door. She already knew who was on the other side and a kitchen knife wasn’t going to help her any.

She had heard the rumors that circulated through Black Spire in the past few days.

All the words had been side effects to the news from the other day. Shortly after Maz's ship took flight, the holonet blared off of every screen and Nurmi's heart had fallen to her feet. That vile Hux character had broadcasted the ultrasound of Lorelei, claiming that Ben and Rey would raise her to destroy the galaxy. It was disgusting that he would use his power to turn an entire galaxy against a baby. 

Nurmi tries to collect herself as she creaks open the door. She had to be strong. Although furious, she had to remain docile and as pleasant as she imagines a normal old woman to be.

It was going to be difficult.

Sure enough, three dark figures await on the other side. Her eyes widen anyway at how menacing and massive they look. Nothing could have prepared her for the full impact of their presence.

There’s also a small crowd of other beings outside, waiting to see what the knights are going to do. 

“Pardon me...miss," the words are misleading as the voice is menacing and sounds like it's being pushed through gritted teeth, "We have some questions to ask you."

Nurmi waits, still just peeking from the door. Her own voice not seeming to work. Before she can muster it up, another one speaks up, "Is that your speeder?" she points to her big ambulance model parked under the awning. Straight to the point, no pleasantries, tone sharp and impatient. 

"Yes," Nurmi waits a moment, wondering if they could hear her old heart beating out of her chest before she pulls the door open a little further, “You’re those knights. From the speech the other day, aren’t you?” she asks, hoping to stall whatever was coming next.

“We are. And we would very much like to come inside...” there's that voice again. It makes Nurmi's skin crawl.

Nevertheless, she steps aside and trains her expression to one of strength that she does not currently possess, “Of course. Make yourselves comfortable.”

The three knights step forward into her home and Nurmi feels the weight of their black boots shake the foundation. She had just allowed these monsters into her home.

Xid takes in the space. He motions to Soldar beside him to investigate who instantly starts pulling furniture from their places and trashing her possessions.

Nurmi watches in horror, “That is not what I meant! At least tell me what you suspect me of before you rip an old woman’s house to shreds.”

Xid smirks beneath his mask. If this togruta only knew how tame they were being. She was an old woman and by now, all of Black Spire knew they were here. If they saw them torturing her, they knew it would not encourage support for the First Order. They had to keep some sense of composure if they were to make any headway with this disgusting galaxy. 

He could tell that Iella had objections to that. Her methods with the fat man were too bold though. Seen by too many already.

“Apologies. We have orders from the Supreme Leader Hux to investigate on this planet for our fugitives and by any means necessary,” the knight answers back. His voice sounds slightly more controlled but still forced, Nurmi notices. As if trying to talk in a civil manner is killing him. He gestures to the couch across from him as if this was his home and he was inviting her to sit.

“My name is Xid. This is Iella. We are knights, assigned to protect not just our Supreme Leader but our galaxy as well."

Names did not humanize them. It did not put her at ease if that is what this Xid man was trying to do. _What was this sick game?_

"The information we accumulated from your vehicle states your name is Nurmi Kra'na, and that you are a midwife.”

“I am…”

“You spoke of the speech so you no doubt are aware of the threat that looms in our galaxy?” the woman, Iella asks.

“The _fugitives_ , you mean?” Nurmi hates how that sounds. She did not think of them as fugitives. She thought of them as the loving family that they were.

“Exactly. The fugitives and their filthy spawn. You _are_ aware of the threat they pose?”

“I understand why any child of _Kylo Ren’s_ would be unsettling,” Nurmi responds.

“That whore of his is no better. Whatever goodness you think she holds–it is false. She is no more a Jedi then I am a jawa," Iella spits out.

Xid continues for her, "Yes. She is a filthy woman and combined with Kylo Ren’s lineage, their child could be deadly to us all!” 

Iella speaks again, “You are a midwife. You live to aid children, but surely you understand how fatal this spawn would be if trained by them? You would not wish any child to be subjected to such a disgusting upbringing?”

The woman speaks to Nurmi so harshly and the whole room seems to get a little darker, “Of course not.”

“Good,” Xid says. His voice sounds much calmer than Iella’s but is still laced with something so predatory it nauseates Nurmi. GIves her chills, “Then we understand each other,” Xid says.

Xid leans forward. He presses as far as he can into the woman’s mind. His abilities of this nature in the force were never very strong. It is something he takes with great embarrassment but of all the remaining knights, Xid was now the best.  

Kylo was so much more advanced and experienced in the force than any of them–but none of them would admit that openly.

Still, he presses forth and finds only her nerves. She is unsettled by their presence which Xid supposes would be a compliment. Unable to see much more he speaks again, “We have reason to believe that they might have been here just days ago. They might have tried to seek out medical attention for the woman and the child.”

Iella speaks again, “So you can understand why we might be here.”

“You’re suggesting I might have seen them. That I might have helped them.”

“We are. We had a tip that mentioned a large medical speeder was sighted near the escape craft in question. A similar description to your own,” Xid motions to outside where the speeder was parked.

Nurmi gulps. Just then there’s a loud clammer from upstairs. She thinks the third knight has overturned her dresser in her bedroom. An antique, nearly two hundred years old.

_These kriffing assholes…_

“What can you tell us about that?” Xid finishes, ignoring the commotion Soldar was making to stare this woman down. Her reaction was imperative.

“My speeder _was_ parked outside a craft about two days ago, but not owned by the criminals. I received a call from a pilot that morning at the landing field that his wife had gone into labor on their ship. I came to assist them. They were twi’leks though and left just a few hours after the child was born, though I'm not sure where," Nurmi swallows. The story she tells is not a lie. About a month ago she actually assisted atwi’lek couple through delivery on their small shuttle.

"I think I would have noticed if I was delivering a baby from a Jedi and the Supreme Leader though," she huffs a small laugh as if to suggest the impossibility of it all. She isn't sure how she manages it.

Xid presses into her mind again and senses no lie. She was speaking the truth. He rolls his eyes beneath his helmet. Had that drunken idiot completely misidentified the speeder or was this old togruta just a seamless liar? The former seemed more likely. When the fat man supposedly saw the craft he was likely so intoxicated that anything he said could have been total bantha crap.

He hears Iella scoff beside him and he knows she must feel the same way. This is all a waste of time. He’s exhausted his small amount of manners to a woman who has proved to be as worthless as the fugitives they hunted.

Just then, Xid’s comm beeps with a message from Nourdi. He had remained with the fat man and might have more information now, “What is it? We’re busy!” That was a lie.

“Fat bloke says that wookiee was the first one of the kind he ever saw. It probably wasn’t even the right one, just a random carpet bag looking for a quick ship. No chance this bastard identified the right one in his state.”

Kriff. This whole investigation has been a massive waste of time. His attempts to appear non-threatening and full of manners have been a pathetic waste of time. He was going to enjoy tearing that fat bastard open on the ride back to the Absolution.

“That son of a bitch!” Iella spits out and Xid notices how the togruta woman flinches where she sits, “Soldar! We’re leaving!”

Soldar comes down the stairs, “Place is clean anyway.”

Nurmi waits quietly as they shout to each other, almost as if they forgot she was sitting there. Whatever facade this Xid man had tried to build, she saw it falter as his rage came forth.

“Fucking waste of time!” he screams as overturns her table. He stomps back for the door and the two others march after him. They were gone. It was over. Without so much as addressing her, they fled.

Nurmi doesn’t move for a solid ten minutes. She can’t. Her body is frozen and unresponsive to anything her brain tries to stir.

Those beasts sat right before her and asked her about the very people she had sworn to protect. Perhaps they were not as powerful as they claimed. They did not sense the great turmoil within her for what it was.

The trashed state of her home was a small price to pay for the safety of the family that seemed to finally catch a break.

* * *

 

Ben and Rey were sleeping in the house now. A few days ago they had brought the trunks of baby things in from the Epoch and they all spent some time baby proofing the now clean homestead. Nurmi had really thought of everything which meant they soon enough they ran out of space for all the stuff they had.

It didn’t matter. It had made the place a home again.

So cozy.

Last night, Ben had insisted that he would piece the crib together. Maz had mentioned that they should soon get her into her own sleeping arrangements or else she wouldn’t sleep unless she was in their bed. Ben and Rey were confused as to why that would be a bad thing but heeded her suggestion anyway.

Ben had sat on the floor of the bedroom and huffed for a while as he tried to get everything in the right spot. He wanted to do this with his hands. It was important to him.

Rey watched him while she fed Lorelei on the bed, trying not to laugh at his frustrations.

“Where did that one piece go? I just had it and I think it goes here,” he points to where the crib was partially completed. He wasn’t wrong but Rey laughed at him anyway.

“Ben...other hand,” she nods to his left hand that was holding the missing piece and Ben looks down at it, realizing he’s been holding it the whole time.

“Oh, what the hell? Am I going insane?” he asks her but she just smiles at him.

“No, you’re tired. Why don’t you finish it tomorrow?”

“But Maz said that-”

“One more night won’t change too much. Besides, I like when she sleeps with us.”

So that is how Maz finds them in the morning. A crib half constructed in the middle of the room and Ben and Rey cuddled on the bed. The sleeping baby on Ben’s bare chest. “Why am I not surprised?” she mumbles to herself.

It had been a week since they arrived to Lah'mu which meant Lorelei was about ten days old. Every day, the four of them spent what was probably hours just gushing over her. Whenever she opened her eyes they all melted. Her father’s eyes suited her so beautifully.

And perhaps it was the bond Lorelei had with her parents, but Maz noticed that she hardly ever cries unless she was hungry or wanted to be changed. Even then, Ben and Rey could sense the disturbance and within moments she was content again.

Maz wouldn't have believed it if she didn't see it for herself.

Honestly, she had been worried when Rey first told her about the pregnancy. Surely, neither her or Ben had much experience with children. There wasn’t exactly a strong track record of parenting from the Skywalker line. Han and Leia didn't exactly plan Ben, and Maz assumes the same could be said for Rey's parents whoever those foul creatures were. They both came from a long line of people who didn't know what they were doing and Maz couldn't help but be anxious.

But after seeing them and the way they are with their daughter, Maz thinks the curse might finally be broken. It was like they shared a language that only the three of them knew how to speak. Even Maz who knew the force couldn’t quite decipher it. It was beyond her, but ever fascinating.

It makes Maz feel the slightest bit guilty to wake them up from such a picturesque serenity, but it fades as she knew they would have plenty of time to rest. The baby surely wasn’t restricting that it seemed. She lightly jostles Ben’s shoulder, “Alright, everybody up, stuff to do, crops to grow...cribs to build,” she jokes and that earns her a groan. Ben moves to his side so he's facing away from Maz. He carefully moves Lei from his chest to the bed between him and Rey. Even in sleep, he remained so cautious and Maz smiles.  

Lorelei squeaks and yawns as she wakes up and that is all it takes for Ben and Rey to open their eyes. They wanted to watch as she woke for the day and Maz isn't surprised how they are more obedient to wake up by a baby rather than herself.

She walks back out, giving them some privacy to get dressed and start the day. Lorelei would need to be changed and fed so it would be a few minutes before they all met up again. For now, Maz goes to see if the wookiee is awake.

Chewie had been sleeping in the ship he bought, checking everything over and trying to find a nice place to hide it in range of the homestead, someplace out of the rain–which occurred daily.

They found a cave nearby, maybe a two-mile walk from the house that the ship fit in nicely. The terrain got a little bumpy but still beautiful nonetheless. There was a secret opening to a bunker there as well and Maz realizes it is the same one Saw spoke of when the Erso's were here.

It is where young Jyn must have hidden for days waiting for Saw, traumatized after witnessing her mother's murder. Only to come out to realize she had lost her family forever and a life of further hardships awaited her.

Maz hopes Lorelei never has to experience something like that and this bunker would not hide any more tragic memories.

It is why today they would have to discuss options. Escape options. That way, worries were eased of Lorelei ever feeling like little Jyn.

She had a few ideas, but they needed to start planning because Maz knew she couldn't stay much longer.

She wanted to. She would love to stay and watch the family grow, but now that the First Order had been taken over by that pompous ass, Maz knew the galaxy was going to be a war zone once again.

The Resistance was going to get antsy and Maz was already getting nervous.

Well, more nervous than she already was.

She thought that all this destruction was coming to an end because of what Ben was doing in the First Order, but likely by now, Hux had redacted all of Ben’s deeds and things were going to be a mess.

Maz spoke with ME from the radio in the Epoch last night. Apparently, Finn and Rose were snooping around for answers a few days ago. She wonders if they believe the news. If the Resistance would consider Rey a traitor. There was so much they needed to understand that Maz could not tell them. Even if they were friends, it was too dangerous to reveal the true nature of Rey’s life.

There were things to be taken care of. Secrets to be kept.

That is why Maz had to leave now so she could protect who was hiding here. She had to stay up to date with everything in case they needed to relocate or not. There was too much at risk for Maz to stay here and enjoy the silence.

Soon enough, she walks into the cave to see Chewie is already awake and as usual tending to the ship, “How’s it coming?”

“It's growing on me. After I spruced it up a little, I think it was worth paying double what it's worth. Hopefully, it doesn't see too much action…”

Maz knows what he means and just nods. As nice a job he had been doing, she hoped it was all just precautionary and hopefully this thing wouldn’t be leaving the planet anytime soon.

She helps him where she can, her hands fitting in places his own cannot. After a while, she approaches the next topic at hand.

“I think I have to leave tomorrow. I need to get back to Takodana before more bantha shit hits the accelerator.”

Chewie groans back in a response Maz did not expect, “I need to come with you.”

“Really?”

“I need to get the Falcon off Kashyyyk and bring it here. If they need any emergency supplies I could jaunt out and get them. Plus, I could sleep there instead. It’d be more comfortable for everyone.” He also thinks of Waroo and Malla. He hopes that everything went okay after he left Kashyyyk so suddenly and he wants to make sure they are alright. 

“You mean you wouldn’t want to sleep on their couch every night?” Maz jokes with him.

“No way,” his answer is immediate. He’s already considered this, “I don’t want to be in earshot in case they start making more babies.”

Maz bursts into laughter and she thinks it echoes out of the caves and back to the house.

Those kids would be blushing so hard if they heard that.

* * *

  
Ben and Rey had received a farming crash course from Maz who seemed just as confused as they were but together they figured it out. All of them were fairly handy so they all took turns between work and tending to Lorelei. The moisture vaporators were quick to understand. The water was then pumped to purifiers which supplied them with clean water at the house.

There was a small shed beside the house. It was mostly subterranean as well and without the chiller bars to help insulate meant it was stuffy and a little sour smelling after so many years. Within the small space, they found an old SE worker droid. It had likely been an extra helping hand with the more tiresome daily tasks that the Erso’s didn’t do themselves. It seemed like it might have died out long ago and they doubted it would ever turn on again. Ben and Rey were going to need to do the upkeep themselves. Unless of course, Chewie could bring back a droid when he returned but between the two of them and with the help of the force, they think they can make do without one.

There was an old speeder in the shed as well. Something resembling a tractor design. It didn’t seem to be in too bad of shape either and the thought of having a speeder at their disposal excited Rey. Especially since they had so much land around them to explore. Rey noticed when they first arrived that the black sand before the homestead stretched eventually to a beach where they could see an ocean. One of her favorite sights.

However, their main concern right now was clean water and crops. Ben and Rey are tending to the same purifier. Nothing was wrong with it, but they were trying to acquaint themselves with how it worked for when it inevitably needed fixing. Ben’s hands were too big to get inside the contraption so instead, he was holding a variety of tools to keep them handy for Rey who could maneuver around the contraption much easier than himself.

Ben sees Chewie wave at them from where he was standing by the homestead in the distance, he’s holding a dark bundle of a blanket that he knows is their daughter sleeping in his furry arms again, “It’s strange to see Chewie turn down handiwork to hold a baby.”

Rey turns to him with a smile, the loose hairs around her face were blowing in the breeze. They had gotten loose from the braided bun that Ben had done for her that morning. She fed Lorelei while he sat behind her and threaded his fingers through her soft tresses. He forgot how much he liked braiding her hair.

Ben wishes he didn’t have hands full of tools because they itch to push her hair back behind her ears, “He loves her, and she loves him already. Probably because he’s like a walking carpet and he keeps her warm,” she says.

“He used to do the same to me. Hold me, I mean. I can understand why she likes it so much.”

Just then Rey makes a small gasp of understanding. The purifier beeps as it is reset from her actions, “Oh, I get it,” She dusts her hands along her pants and stands up, balancing herself by keeping hold of Ben’s arm, “It’s pretty simple. I don’t think these will give us too much trouble.” He pulls her up the rest of the way, hoping to relieve her back from doing too much work. She was feeling much better but that ache lingered, understandably so. She thanks him, hearing his intent.

“I’m sorry my hands are so big. You might have to be the one who tends to these.”

Rey brings one of his hands up to her face. Her thumbs brushing over the backs of his knuckles, “I love your big hands,” she kisses them softly. His skin is cold beneath her lips. Ben leans forward to kiss her but they both jump slightly when they are interrupted.

“Food!” they hear Maz bellow from the homestead.

Ben gives a laugh that is more of a scoff before turning back, “Come on,” he pulls her by her hands that still hold fast to his.

Maz was so small but she could still be so loud. She insisted on making all the meals today, claiming that if she was leaving tomorrow she wouldn’t have another chance. Ben and Rey suspected this but now that it was happening, it made them both anxious. Not about her food but the matter of her leaving.

Chewie would be going with her which meant they would be alone for the first time since Lorelei was born. It wasn’t being alone that worried them, but rather what could happen if they were found while they were alone. Chewie would be back in a few days, just to retrieve the Falcon and return. But it meant that today they needed to work out what to do, where to go in case anything went wrong. A subject that none of them were eager to discuss.

They had only been on Lah’mu a week now and already they had grown to love their new home. The thought that a matter of moments could change that and they would need to escape and never return again made them scared.

“In case that all happens...in case we need to up and leave here, do you have any ideas where we could go?” Rey asks Ben on their walk back.

He just shrugs, “There’s a lot of places we could go that are fairly out of reach but I don’t think we’ll find a place as safe as this. It seems like we could be the only ones on this entire planet,” he squeezes her hand, “And I just hope we don’t have to leave. Even if that means we’re ‘farmers’ now,” he jokes.

She chuckles but he senses something else on her mind. She’s hesitant to share with him, “You have a place in mind?” he asks her.

She nods, “I do, but I don’t want to mention it to Chewie and Maz if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Ben stops walking so all of his attention is on her. He tries to think of what planets might make him uncomfortable. Perhaps Arkanis, but he doesn’t think that is what she has in mind, “Where?” he asks her.

“Ach-To,” she says, almost a whisper.

_Oh._

Ben wasn’t expecting that. He had never been there personally but he knows very well how unfindable that place is. He also understands why Rey thought it might upset him. It was where Luke lived out his final years, his final moments. As changed as Ben liked to think he was now, he still felt a great deal of bitterness towards his uncle.

But he wasn’t upset. Rey was right, it would be safe.

“It was just an idea. I thought because it was so remote and we know at least we’d be safe there but if you don’t feel-” Rey begins but he stops her before she could apologize.

“No, I’m fine. Really,” he assures her, “It’s a good idea. A great one actually.”

Rey smiles, “Yeah?”

He nods, “Yeah. We can tell Chewie and Maz while we eat.” He moves to walk again but Rey pulls him back.

“Ben? You’re sure?” she asks him, her eyes locked to his. Ben is touched at her thoughtfulness. His fingers finally get the chance to brush her hair back behind her ears and it’s strange how easily that calms him.

“I’m sure. I mean, I know I’ll ever feel the way I used to about him. I’ll never think of him the way I did when I was a kid. Even if he’s gone I know he’s probably found a way to linger around on that island for all eternity or something just as grueling,” Rey laughs. All of eternity to meditate on the force sounded terribly boring, “But I’d give anything to keep us safe, even if it means confronting him.”

Ben feels a great wave of pride from Rey. She was proud of him and he beams at her. He likes that feeling, “So, I apologize in advance in case we ever do have to go there and I throw a tantrum at a force ghost...but I will try to keep it more contained than my last tantrum with him.”

Rey laughs, “I think you deserve such a tantrum if the situation presents itself,” she tells him, kissing the corner of his mouth. He smiles, knowing she is just messing with him.

“If I recall correctly, you threw something resembling a ‘tantrum’ after he found us in your hut,” he pretends he can’t remember the details so he can hear Rey tell him again. To hear that Rey was so furious that she literally attacked his uncle was still amusing to him for reasons he would likely never admit to.

“I was upset!” Rey reminded him.

“You were defending my honor,” Ben says.

“Yes, I suppose I was. Though you’ve explained to me you don’t have any honor,” she jokes.

“I don’t but I’m touched that you fought for it anyway.”

* * *

 

“Ach-To? Isn’t that where Luke was hiding for all those years?” Maz asks.

Chewie nods as he moans in response, “It’d be safe. We have the coordinates stored in the Falcon. When I bring it back we’ll put the coordinates into your shuttle in case you ever need to get there when I’m not here. For immediate backup plans, I think it’s good. We can always reconnect there and move forward if we get nervous,” Chewie finishes.

_Are we ever not nervous?_  Ben scoffs as the thought floats through his mind.

He’s holding Lorelei now as they have all finished eating. He looks down at her little face just inches from his own. If Lah’mu was compromised, and Ach-To didn’t work out, where were they to go that didn’t jeopardize their daughter? If running was all that kept them safe, then Ben was willing to run for the rest of his life, he just wishes Lorelei didn’t have to live her life in hiding.

What happens when she gets older? She can’t just be stowed away her whole life, she deserves to see things, learn things, do things. Live her life and make her choices.

Rey runs a hand down his back, _Don’t worry about that right now. One thing at a time._

She rests her head against him and he feels her steady breaths warm him through his tunic.

Again, she’s right. For now, this was safe and they would figure things out as they go. There was so little in their control and they had to take what breathing room they could and be grateful for it. It was all in the little things now. It was how they would survive.

* * *

 

The next morning, Ben and Rey walk out to meet Chewie and Maz as they prepare the Epoch. Chewie is checking everything over as he always does while Maz tries to convince herself to leave. If she stays any longer, she could easily stay forever.

The small family approaches. Rey is holding Lorelei in a blanket to shield her from the brisk morning air before she kneels to wrap an arm around Maz’s shoulders, “Thank you. For everything, Maz. We owe you our lives.”

Maz brushed off her comment, trying to keep her tears at bay. She pulls back to place her hands on Rey’s cheeks. Rey looks to Maz the way a child looks at their mother, full of love. Maz feels honored that in a way she was able to be that kind of figure to Rey. 

Hundreds of years ago, when she was still able to have children, she was convinced she didn’t want them. But when Rey looks at her like that, and to see how she looks at her own daughter, Maz is glad she got to have a little piece of that life. It was so pure. It filled Maz with that love she knows Lorelei holds for Rey. Something so maternal and instinctual that there was no denying the love that bloomed so strongly for this small family.

She kisses Rey’s forehead, and then gently does the same to Lorelei who's gorgeous and familiar brown eyes are finally open. Rey smiles as silent tears run down her cheeks, “Don’t be so dramatic, my dear. I didn’t do that much,” Maz pretends to scold her.

Suddenly Ben is on his knees in the grass so he could be at her height...or as close as he could get to her height. Maz still had to crane her neck a little to meet his eyes, “Maz, you’ve done so much. You kept us in one piece and you brought us to our home. That means everything to us,” Ben looks to Lorelei held warmly against Rey.

Maz can’t fight the smile that splits her face, “I know.” She didn’t realize what was happening next until she felt two big arms encase her much smaller form. It took her a moment to understand that Ben was hugging her.

Ben has never hugged her.

“Thank you, for keeping my family safe,” his voice heavy with emotion, “I don’t think I could ever repay you for what you’ve done.”

“Anything for you kids,” she said with a shakier voice than she expected, “I didn’t do this to be paid back, I did it because you two deserve a family. Because I believe in both of you,” Maz felt so grateful to be able to see this man become who he was. Once a boy, then a weapon, and then a man reformed–guided by love–until he became the father that kneeled before her.

Maz also couldn’t help the swell of pride she felt knowing that she was now on the short list of people Ben Solo had hugged.

Chewie moans behind them that they should get going and Maz curses him for interrupting this moment, “You fragging- Can’t you see we’re talking? Not everyone gets to come back witness their domestic bliss as you do,” she snaps at him and Ben and Rey laugh.

She turns to wrap her short arms around both of them at once which is hard but she manages. She steps away to take a final look at the baby, “Keep an eye on these two for me,” she whispers and brushes her wrinkled hands past Lorelei’s new ones.

She heads for the ramp a moment later, wiping away at her eyes before she thinks of something final to say, “If you _were_ interested in repaying me, however,” Ben perks up, listening intently and ready to do anything she requests, “If you need a middle name by any chance,” she gestures to the baby, “Lorelei Maz Solo has got a nice ring to it.”

They laughed at her, “We’ll keep it in mind.”

She watches as the ramp begins to close and in a moment they will be gone from sight, “Stay safe, please.” The door closes. She knows they will protect one another, no matter the cost. Problem is they tend to do the stupidest things when the other’s life is at risk. That was one of the few possible drawbacks of their intimate bond.

* * *

 

Ben and Rey watch their friends ascend to the sky. It begins to rain so they head back inside. Ben follows Rey to the bedroom where she lays Lorelei back down into the now complete crib. She had fallen back asleep on the walk back and Rey thought she deserved a few more minutes of sleep. 

Ben sees the hint of a smile on her face as he laced his arms around her waist. “What?” he asks her, his lips smiling as they brush along her ear.

“I like how that sounded, ‘domestic bliss’,” she refers to Maz’s words and he feels a warmth fill his chest.

“Yeah...me too.”

 

* * *

 

They arrive to Takodana together. The Epoch was low on fuel and couldn’t make the final stretch to Kashyyyk. Chewie is just itching to get back to Lah’mu and Maz doesn’t blame him. But they couldn’t afford to get lazy. Safety was the highest concern and if Chewie was a fugitive, then Maz was going to make sure they were extra careful.

“Stay on the ship. I’m going to fuel up, check in with Emmie and we’ll be on our way.”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

Maz rushes to see her castle come into view. It hadn’t even been two weeks but it seems like it’s been a lifetime since she was here last. She walks in to see only a handful of creatures scattered throughout the bar. There is trash and shattered glass everywhere. This place had turned in to a real dump. Maybe that was what happened when you leave a bar unattended after promising free drinks for life.

She rushed through to find ME who was waiting in the hall, “Emmie! I’m so glad to see you!”

“Madam Kanata! You've returned! I have some very interesting-”

“Not yet, don’t talk. Follow me,” she heads for her office but ME keeps sputtering.

“But Madam Kanata, your office is-”

“Emmie, quiet,” she snaps at the droid as she opens the door, “Don’t talk until we’re-” she stops when she sees there are two figures waiting inside for her already.

Finn and Rose.

“Maz,” Finn says in what must be a greeting but sounds laced with tension. Rose sits beside him, bags under her eyes and arms crossed, “You wanna tell us what the kriff is going on?” he asks her and Maz is frozen where she stands. Finn holds up a pair of black leather gloves that she knows are Ben’s.

_Oh fuck..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rose are not to be truffled with. Honestly, I can't imagine them trying to interrogate Maz and Chewie because they are just like two cute little chipmunks but I'll see what I can do...


	15. Developments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chewie and Maz have to pull back the curtain enough so Finn and Rose don't have seizures after all that's been happening. 
> 
> Xid doesn't really like his friends and decides to work on the group project by himself. He gets a buddy anyway. 
> 
> Waroo and Malla contact Papa Chewie and it changes the schedule slightly. Lah'mu will have to wait until the wookiee returns. The galaxy is in shambles...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no Ben and Rey family time in this chapter but we bank on them pretty heavily in the following chapters so no fear, I will get you that ultimate family fluff soon. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone that is reading this story! Comments, kudos, and bookmarks make me happy<3

Chewie is sitting in the cockpit of the Epoch Swift still. He was trying to contact Malla or Waroo, hoping that he could tell them he would be back later that day but he had yet to get a response.

He is about to try again when suddenly he hears the ramp lowering. He didn’t think Maz would be that fast so he sits up, going to check and make sure it was her. When he turns the corner he does, in fact, see Maz, but closely behind her is Finn, Rose, and ME.

He gulps as he notices their faces are riddled with exhaustion and anger. Something he hasn’t really seen from them, at least not like this. Nobody says a word but Maz gives him a nervous look that tells him they have a rough conversation ahead of them.

“Master Chewbacca! How lovely it is to see you again,” ME announces. The tension is not as evident to the droid and Maz wonders if she needs to be reset. She walks over and presses a series of buttons at her back before the droid whirs to sleep. She probably needed some time to cool off after looking after the castle in her absence.

Maz tries to stay calm and relaxed but she can feel two sets of eyes burning into her.

They were waiting for an explanation.

Chewie sits, looking for anything to occupy his time in the grueling quiet. The silence is suffocating and he can see how even Maz is affected by it.

Chewie already knows why they appear so sullen, so upset. He tries to carry on anyway, desperate for any kind of interaction to stop this awkwardness.

“It's good...good to see you guys. Been awhile,” Chewie manages, feeling very itchy suddenly.

Maz shakes her head at Chewie's attempts to sound casual. He was a horrible liar and there was no use in trying. They already seemed fully aware of what was going on.

“You guys just visiting or you on a supply run?” Chewie continues on and Maz has to stop him.

“Chewie, stop it! They already know, as does everyone else in the kriffing galaxy!” Maz smacks her palm on her own face.

“I know. I'm sorry, I was just trying to sound casual,” he explains. His fur felt thicker than usual and he was sweating. No one else seemed to be suffering from the heat though so Chewie supposes it’s all on his end. He decides to keep his mouth shut as he would only make things worse.

But Finn and Rose have yet to speak.

Maz clears her throat, “I know you’re confused-”

Finn shoots a foul look at her and snaps, “Confused? I think we’re past confused. We’re kriffing distraught!”

“I know you are, but please just try to relax. Shouting at me won’t do anything,” Maz suggests. Finn looks like he disagrees but does so anyway.

“Where’s Rey? Is she with you?”

“...No,” Maz answers softly.

Finn’s jaw tightens, “So she’s with him then? You left her with him?”

“Finn-”

“No! I don’t understand how you two, out of everyone we know, aren’t having heart attacks about this. The man who destroyed _your_ castle,” he points to Maz, “and killed your best friend,” he then points to Chewie, “along with endless other victims is the same man that you are now protecting!”

Maz and Chewie look at each other. Maybe it was best if he got this all out first and then they could cut in. Otherwise, this wouldn’t end well. Rose sat down. Her eyes seemed glazed over like this was all some dream and she was waiting to wake up. Maz wishes they could understand.

“And Rey! I don’t even know where to begin with her. I’m scared for her and we can’t help but be worried but since when did she start literally sleeping with the enemy. How could she betray us like that?”

This was going too far, “Stop. Rey never betrayed anyone,” Maz tells him.

Finn must ignore her because he continues, “Has she gone to the dark side? Or did he literally force himself on her? Is this child all some grand scheme of his to carry on his psycho perverted lineage and Rey was just the incubator?”

“That’s enough!” Chewie growls. He stands to lurch over Finn and suddenly his eyes are wide and he’s backing up until he’s sitting beside Rose. “You don’t know him. You think you do but you don’t!”

“Then tell us because we’ve been a mess for days now and no one is saying anything.”

“Ben certainly did not 'force himself' Rey so forbid that thought from your mind and never let it return,” Maz nearly scolds him. To suggest that Ben would do such a thing makes Maz’s blood boil and she tries to stay composed so she doesn't slap Finn in the face. _He doesn't know any better,_ she reminds herself.

“How am I supposed to know?” Finn snaps back.

“Ben?” Rose repeats quietly though it is not heard. _Did she mean Ren?_

“He is gentle and kind and good and he loves them. He would never hurt them.”

“But he’s-” Finn starts.

Maz interjects, “I am fully aware of what that man has done. I know the blood that stains his hands, how can I not? But he is reformed–changed. He is balanced now.” If only they knew who this man really was. Perhaps it would be best to start from the beginning.

“Balanced?” Rose asks.

Maz nods, “I know the force, but I have never agreed with what the Jedi and the Sith have to say about it. I always believed there was a balance that needed to be found if any actual headway was to be made. Only in the balance can things carry on in life. Trying to cheat it–either way–is dangerous.”

She thinks back to the day she met Rey, when she found her in the deep halls of her castle, a vision of a man dressed in black had frightened her. Even then the force seemed to link them together. From the start of all this, they were meant to find each other.

“I sensed it first in Rey, the day we met,” she looks to Finn. “It wasn’t quite there yet, though. Just the essence of her potential. It was not truly awakened until she met him.”

Finn rolls his eyes, “That is such bantha crap. He kidnapped her!”

“Well, he was not ready either. He was shrouded in darkness and yet tempted by the light he sensed within her. Still under Snoke’s control, he acted the only way he knew how. But so much changed, especially after Starkiller.”

Both of them lean forward. Hanging on her every word.

“They discovered a bond between them. A link that existed between their minds. The force connected them across the stars and together they shared something more intimate than any of us could ever perceive.”

Finn and Rose both scrunch their faces, “Eww…”

“Not like that!” she scolds them. At least not yet was it _like that_. It would inevitably get to that point. Eventually, Lorelei was conceived.

Rose clears her throat, “So, Kylo killed Snoke for Rey because they were...bonded?”

“Perhaps,” Maz says. “There were a lot of reasons Ben wanted to kill Snoke, but I don’t think he really cared about any of those reasons until he met Rey. He did what he had to do to save her because even then he loved her.” _Damn, that boy really knew how to make a gesture,_ Maz thinks.

“He can’t love,” Finn argues.

“He can!” Chewie growls again and Finn flinches slightly. Scared of the wookiee for the first time ever.

Rose shakes her head, “But Rey came to Crait after the Supremacy. She didn’t stay with him then.”

Maz rolls her eyes at this part of the story. Ben and Rey have certainly come a long way and she’s glad all that foolishness is behind them now. “They weren’t ready yet. Both of them had come to care deeply for the other but were confused by what they thought they wanted and by what they thought had to happen. Rey left and went back to the Resistance. It wasn’t until after Leia passed that the bond opened again. It was then that Ben and Rey began to truly balance each other out.”

Rose speaks up again, “But Leia passed away, like, three years ago. You mean all this time, they’ve been seeing each other?”

Maz nods and Finn speaks again, “How has he not figured out where the Resistance is then? If he’s seen Rey through ‘the force’ or whatever why hasn’t he come to Arkanis?”

Chewie speaks now, “Because he is the one who chose it for you.”

“What?” both Finn and Rose say at once, dumbfounded.

“He has been trying to reform the First Order from the inside ever since he became the Supreme Leader. He wanted the Resistance to thrive and he obviously wanted Rey to be safe. He’s been protecting you all this time.”

Finn and Rose look at each other. That was surely unexpected and to be honest a little embarrassing. That definitely explains the lack of action they’ve seen. This whole time they thought they were fighting a war against the man who had incidentally provided them with the safest base they have ever known.

“But still, he’s…” Finn tries to argue but can’t seem to find the words.

Maz anticipates where he was headed with it and tries to give him some perspective, “You were once a stormtrooper, yes?” Finn nods, eyes downcast. “You went through that training. You were grown to believe the lies the First Order tried to plant in you but you resisted. You rose against it and fought back, but it took years and no small amount of bravery to break out, yes?”

“I guess so.”

“Well, the same could be said for Ben. He was targeted by Snoke from a young age. He was designed to be a weapon against the galaxy and most of all himself. He lived in agony, lies, and pain for years thinking he deserved it.” Maz has to take a moment to breathe. Such painful memories...but things changed, “And then he met Rey. It was Rey that made him realize that he wanted to change. Just like you experienced when you rescued Poe.”

Finn never thought he would understand anything about Kylo Ren, only that he was a monster, but now a strange voice in the back of his head begins to say how maybe they weren’t that different.

Maz and Chewie see how the couple takes in their words. It settles over them as they begin to see the mask of this man fall away. 

“And they love each other. They love each other more deeply than I ever thought possible for two people to feel. They are so similar. They protect each other, guide each other. Ben stays in the balance by Rey’s light and Rey’s light is balanced by the darkness within Ben.”

_Kriff, it really was beautiful. The stuff of holodramas only it was real,_ Maz thinks to herself.

Rose speaks again, “ _Ben_. You keep calling him Ben. Why?”

That one is easy, “That’s his name. Ben Solo.”

Rose knows now why they thought ME was talking about Han when she said "Master Solo". They were calling him by his birth name instead.

“And the baby?” she asks a moment later.

Maz can’t help but smile now. She looks to Chewie for a moment in silence. How could she even begin to describe Lorelei? “She’s amazing. Healthy, strong, beautiful. She is so loved and Ben and Rey only want to keep her safe.” She doesn’t think she should say anymore. She’s paranoid to even say her name. The walls of her own ship felt like ears, “We can’t jeopardize them. The tiniest mistake and Hux kills all of them.” Maz shudders at the thought.

Rose’s eyes go wide as she suddenly seems to realize that they were talking about an actual living child. A child that was being hunted by the First Order. Even if she still feels strange about Rey and how she didn’t tell them, she supposes it makes sense–in a really twisted way. If her baby was in danger, Rey couldn’t take any chances.

“So they’re in hiding?”

“Yes. It’s the only way. They need to keep her safe, especially now that everyone is hunting for them.”

“But, they’re safe? For now?” Finn asks with a heavy voice. Maz wants to hug him. He’s starting to catch on and it fills her with hope.

“We hope so.”

They don’t ask where and for that Maz is grateful. They must have realized that they wouldn’t reveal that. Even if they could trust them, it was too risky. Lah’mu would remain a secret between Chewie, Maz, Ben, and Rey only. It felt safer that way.

Finn feels drained. This was so much to take in but he has to admit he feels better than he did earlier. The days of sleep deprivation become very apparent to him. He’s about to ask what the next step is–where do they go from here? But they hear a strange noise coming from the cockpit and it sounds almost exactly like Chewie.

Chewie, who was quiet up until then jumps back to his feet, “Waroo!” he moans before rushing out of the room and into the cockpit.

Maz whispers to herself, “Please, no more bad news.”

* * *

Xid was fuming. On the days since their return from Batuu, they are getting more and more false leads. So many drunkards looking for rewards that were proving to be even further wastes of time. Something Xid despised with a passion.

He had yet to see though if this was actually upsetting to his fellow knights. They seemed to think this was just some ongoing party. Traveling the galaxy and torturing those who give them fake tips was not what Xid had in mind for progress. And yet, they didn’t seem to mind. Iella, Nourdi, Azmo, and Dono were treating this like some tour. A way to advertise themselves. Xid hated it. He didn’t want publicity, he wanted Kylo and his tramp dead.

Xid sat at the end of a long table while they ate dinner. Himself and the rest of the knights had been given their own private accommodations, complete with a dining room and private training center on the Absolution.

Both had previously belonged to Kylo. It seemed like naturally they would have been passed on to Hux, but their new Supreme Leader made it very clear how much he despised the Absolution. He claimed it wasn’t the kind of vessel a true leader should be traveling in. He was stationed on Coruscant while a new one was being built in his image.

As lavish as the settings were, Xid wonders if all of it is tainted by _them_. How many places had Kylo soiled things with his pathetic affections and desires for that woman? That lowly scavenger.

It makes him sick.

Dishes crash and Xid lifts his head to see Iella is now standing on the table,  totally intoxicated. She's kicking plates and glasses off the steel surface, clearly enjoying herself and Xid can tell that Azmo and Dono are following as they always do.  

It's childish. Was this all just a game to them? He swallows his own rage, prepared to go back to his chambers and pummel his fists into the wall.

But just then they get another call from Hux. His blue form on the holopad appears and he looks down to them, “Apologies, my knights but we've received another tip we want to seek out. Apparently, an innkeeper on Felucia is getting suspicious of some tenants that never leave...and the cries of a child are heard constantly. He is convinced it might be the fugitives.”

Xid doesn't think so. Kylo was smarter than that. As foolishly sentimental as he had become, he was still clever.

“Consider it done, Hux,” Iella says with a drunken salute from where she stood on the table.

“Thank you. I'll plan on hearing from you shortly.” With that Hux’s transmission ends and Iella jumps off the table.

“Let's go. Somewhere out there is that pathetic bastard and his whore,” she hiccups between her slurred words “and I think a baby is just what we need around here…”

“What do you mean?” Nourdi asks. Nourdi was not as obnoxious as the others but still seemed to take amusement from their antics.

“Well, the spawn no doubt has potential. We'll have to train it to walk among us if it wants to live. I won’t have any patience for it if the little bastard turns out like either of those fuck heads.”

Xid actually agrees with that. He thinks it would be all too poetic to take Kylo's daughter and craft her into the ruler he could never be.

However, he doesn't like how Iella seems to already think of herself as the one to do so. Did she think she was entitled to commit to something as serious as that?

Although intimidating, Iella’s powers were not near as progressed as Xid’s own. She was skilled to be sure but Xid always prided himself that he was above her. “I don't think you possess the clarity of mind to chase after another bullshit tip.” The room goes silent.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Xid?” Iella throws back at him.

“I mean, do you think yourself capable enough go confront our fugitives? Do you think yourself so powerful?” Xid asks her.

Iella narrows her eyes, “Oh I get it. You think only you can lead us,” she turns to face Azmo, Dono and Nourdi on her side of the table. She can hardly speak from laughing, “he thinks himself above us.”

“I think you are all too drunk and foolish to be making decisions. I don't enjoy babysitting you on missions and if you behave like this then you will be going alone,” Xid has no more patience to exhaust.

“Are you scared what we might find?” Iella taunts him, “Scared you might have to face Kylo and realize you're still not strong enough to beat him?”

Xid stands at that. His plate before him shattering as his fist smashes it. “Kylo has proved he is breakable. We know his weaknesses now. Everyone does. Should we find him, it will not be hard if we all overpower him. His sentiments will be his downfall.”

“So what then?” Iella crosses her arms.

Xid sighs. He has to spell everything out for them, “I don't like going on mindless errands just because some peasants think they have sighted them. It's a waste of our time. We should be pursuing them on our own. With further training perhaps we can even locate the child's mind.  It could lead us right to them.”

“You don’t want to go to Felucia?” Azmo asks now and although Xid is irritated with him, he’s glad it is not Iella’s voice to speak this time.

“He isn't there. As much as I hate to admit it, Kylo is smarter than that. He wouldn't go to Felucia. Especially an inn, are you fucking kidding?”

“Hux said to go. You dare defy our new Supreme Leader?” Iella challenges again. She teases him and Xid wants to throw her into the wall...so he does. With the swipe of his fist, Iella flies from where she stands into the durasteel and grunts in pain.

Xid carries on with his train of thought, ignoring the looks of anger on Azmo and Dono’s faces. “If we locate them eventually, who cares how we do it. There are literally thousands of expendable stormtroopers that are capable of doing this tiresome work of going back and forth for no reason. Hux just wants them found, as do I. We can't very well find them if we rely on the drunken observations of blubbering idiots! Especially if half of our knights are drunken themselves!”

“Fuck you, Xid,” Iella slurs as she rises back to her feet. Her lip was bleeding and her hair was a mess, “If you think yourself so mighty then go. Go find them on your own and see how far you get. Feel free to seclude yourself from us, just like Kylo did. We’ll see how long it takes before you've impregnated some common slut.”

Xid wishes he had his helmet on. He wishes they could not see his face but they can. They can see just how upset that has made him. Comparing him to Kylo. Suggesting that he would make the same foolish decisions. How dare she.

No matter how well he explains his point they will not listen. Another exhausting waste of time. So Xid leaves. He doesn’t care what they say of him. He will find Kylo and that woman himself and drag them back along with their spawn. He will prove he is to be their master and if the Knights question him again, he will do worse then smash them into walls.

He heads for his private chambers, his fists itching to do damage when he hears the ungraceful footsteps of Soldar behind him, “What do you want?” Xid spits out.

“Did you mean what you said? You think with more training we could try to locate the kid’s mind?”

He sighs, “I think it would need all of us...and I don’t think that will happen anytime soon,” Xid answers honestly. Although they were very different, Soldar was probably his closest ally, “But I think our talents could be better put to use than just chasing after greedy tips from pathetic beings looking for credits.”

“I agree,” Soldar says.

“I don’t suppose you wish to assist me?” Xid asks. As much as he would like to be able to do this himself, he would most likely require a partner.

“Well, I sure as fuck am not staying with them. Iella’s gone off the deep end.”

Xid should have given Soldar more credit perhaps. He doubts the rest of them would have a similar revelation. He did think that if they combined their efforts that locating the child’s mind would be possible. It seemed like he would have to make do with what Xid had available to him.

“Excellent. We’ll start tomorrow then.”

* * *

Chewie is so relieved to hear from Waroo. His heart beats ever faster though as he waits to hear where he is. What has happened since he left?

“Father, where are you?”

“Takodana. Maz is refueling and she will drop me off back at home,” Chewie tells him.

“No! Don't go home!” Waroo says instantly.

“Why?”

“There's hunters waiting for you there. Like the ones from before. They want to collect the bounty on your head.”

_Of course,_ Chewie thinks. “Have they hurt you?”

“No, we got out in time. Mom and I left a few days ago.”

“On the Falcon?” Chewie asks. His call is coming from the freighter so Chewie assumes it is the only option they had. Hopefully, getting the webweavers off was less of a struggle than last time.

“Yeah. We're hiding on Corellia. I thought we might blend in better here.”

“Good idea, son.”

“Thanks. Mom’s been worried sick about Rey. Is everything okay with her and the baby?”

“Yes, she’s doing great. All of them are,” Chewie says, knowing Finn and Rose were likely listening to this. “And you’re okay? How is your injury?”

“Dad, it’s fine,” Waroo answers with an almost embarrassed tone. Chewie was his father though and he would always be concerned about him. Something he really understood in his time with Ben and Rey. Above all else, Chewie was a father.

“Do you think you can make it to Corellia,” Waroo asks next.

“Yes. I can be there soon.” He was planning to return to Lah’mu immediately but caution was their main concern. They couldn’t afford to get lazy. If it took a few weeks to get back then so be it. He knew Ben and Rey would be okay. They had planned in case things went differently. He would contact them and let them know.

“Are you with Maz now?” Waroo asks.

“Yeah. Finn and Rose are here too.”

“Really? They were sending a bunch of messages about a week ago, asking you and Rey to pick up. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what I could say. Apologize to them for me will you?”

Rose speaks from behind him into the speaker, “It’s okay, Waroo. We understand why you had to.”

“Okay. Good. This whole thing has me so paranoid. I don’t even feel safe talking about it over the comm. I think we should wait until you’re here. When can you get here?”

“I’ll leave now,” Chewie says.

They say their goodbyes and Waroo's voice is gone. Instantly, Finn speaks up, “We’re coming with you. We can help.”

Chewie is about to turn him down but Maz beats him to it, “No. I think you two need to go back to the Resistance. With Hux as the new Supreme Leader, this galaxy is going to be a giant shit storm again and it will take a lot of resisting to save it.”

They both nod but Maz can tell they aren’t happy about it. Maz would have to stay on Takodana so she knew how they felt. They all had to make sacrifices if they were to survive this. The resistance needed to understand who their new enemy was and how they needed to step up. Poe would be eager to see some action but will likely be reluctant to hear any point of view that paints “Kylo Ren” in a good light. It was going to take a lot of patience.

Finn and Rose suggest that they can drop Chewie off on Corellia before they head back to Arkanis. That way, Maz can stay and start cleaning things up, seeing what was left after their sudden departure nearly two weeks ago.

* * *

 

Finn and Rose say their good-byes to Chewie as they prepare to leave Corellia and head back to Arkanis. They haven’t been alone since before they spoke to Maz and Chewie and they had a lot to still process and discuss with each other.

“What do you think?” Rose asks Finn, “How do you feel now?”

Finn waits a moment to answer, gathering his thoughts and trying to compute them into words, “I think...I think I’m okay. Surprised, actually. I’m not saying I think Kylo is amazing. It's still all so new. But at least now I understand.”

Rose gives a smirk, “You mean Ben?”

Finn chuckles, “Yeah, that will take some getting used to. I still can’t believe he was keeping us safe this whole time. We were all so sure he was trying to kill us...Why didn’t Rey tell us?”

“I think she had to pretend for us. If word got out that ‘Kylo Ren’ had turned, the First Order would have tried to get rid of him way earlier. They had to be careful.”

“But she couldn’t tell _us_. You and me. She couldn’t even tell us she was pregnant. She must have been so scared…” Finn whispers.

“I know. That probably wasn’t part of their plan. The baby, I mean…” Rose says.

“Have you ever even held a baby?” Finn asks her and she shakes her head no. “Me either. I can't even picture what she would look like. I haven't seen enough of them to know. But Chewie and Maz seem to think they're doing a good job. I’m already having a hard time envisioning it though. Him as a father. Rey madly in love with Ky–no wait–Ben. What a trip...”

“Chewie and Maz believe in them, so maybe everything will be okay,” Rose offers.

“I hope so. The entire galaxy is after them. How ‘okay’ can you be when you’ve got a price not only on your own head but when your kid does too?” Finn asks and for that Rose has no answer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this wasn't very exciting. I had to kind of establish what's going on between all the parties before we went back to Lah'mu. 
> 
> Maybe Finn and Rose's acceptance was a little quick but they are really important later on and become major advocates for the space babes. I needed them to come to terms with it pretty well but maybe it was a little rushed... 
> 
> Next chapter is all about our favorite space parents, I promise!!


	16. Home | Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lah'mu goodness. This is basically a collection of moments that occur from after Maz and Chewie leave until Chewie returns again which is about two and half months. 
> 
> We get some baby progressions from Lorelei, some mommy and daddy time for Rey and Ben, followed by a scary dream that wakes up our boy and gets him thinking about all the scary stufz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some steamy times in this chapter but I would hardly consider it smut. I apologize if you would prefer some smut but honestly how the hell do people write that? I have a new appreciation for those that can.
> 
> Also, let me reiterate that I have very little knowledge about babies and child care. I glaze over some of the developments here but I try my best. I've googled so many things about babies that my browser history thinks I'm pregnant.

Rey sat back on the couch while she fed Lorelei. She held a book in her other hand, one of many they had found residing on the shelves. Galen and Lyra had a variety of books they left behind. Many of them were about physics, but there were also a lot of journals that Galen filled to occupy all the fleeting thoughts in his head. There was a stack of blank journals that never got filled and Rey saw how Ben’s eyes lit up at the opportunity. She knew he wanted to put them to good use.

For now though, Ben was making them some lunch in the kitchen when the transceiver dinged with an apparent message. Rey sat upright, book forgotten and suddenly clutching Lorelei tighter, “Ben?”

“I got it,” he says before he bolts over to the device stuck on the wall. He lets out a sigh of relief, “It’s from Chewie. He says he’s okay but he can’t come back yet. He’ll try to call us when he can.”

Rey slumps back against the couch in relief, the baby in her arms none the wiser as she continued feeding. They were expecting him to come back within the next few days but now that was undetermined. Ben looks to her for a moment from where he stands in the kitchen. They knew everything was still okay, but to hear that already things were not going as planned made them nervous. “He’s probably just taking precautions.”

Rey nods. That sounded like something Chewie would do, “Yeah. You’re right.”

Ben walked over with two bowls and placed them on the small table in front of the couch. He wrapped an arm around her, eyes focused on the baby against her chest, “It’ll be okay,” he whispers and again Rey nods. They will probably never adjust to the fear, the stress of feeling like everything is out to hurt them.

But they can do what they can.

Lorelei burped against Rey’s chest, full for now. Ben smiles and runs a hand past her head. Again they are pulled back into the infatuated trance of their daughter. Ben holds out his arms as if they looked empty without the baby within them. Rey shifts forward, placing Lei against him. His eyes shine in adoration and Rey kisses his forehead, feeling how his heart and mind sing when he looks down to Lorelei.

“What have you made for us?” she looks to the two dishes on the table.

“Salad...very exciting,” he tells her sarcastically. She picks one up and starts eating.

“It’s delicious Ben. Thank you,” she tells him.

“ _Everything_ is delicious to you,” he points out. It’s not even an exaggeration really and Rey knows that. Ben adjusts Lorelei to the crook of one arm so he can eat. He refuses to put her down and Rey can’t help but smile.

He denies assistance at first, determined to eat his salad as awkwardly as he can by balancing the bowl on his thigh and bending over to get the fork to his mouth. Rey scarfs down her own so she can stop him, “Don’t be so ridiculous,” she mutters before taking the bowl from his lap and feeding him herself. Ben grins, obviously preferring this method. “You know I thought I wouldn’t have to do this until she started eating solid foods. I didn’t realize I had two babies.”

“No, I think you did,” Ben says with _that_ smirk on his face. They finish it off and Rey takes the dishes to the kitchen to clean them.

Ben looks to the book on the floor realizing Rey much have dropped it when the transceiver interrupted them. Ben summons it to his free hand as Rey walks back over, “Any good?” he asks her. She scoffs, obviously not thinking so.

“It’s a textbook on chlorophyll pigments and how they can be transformed from iron.”

“Sounds riveting. Read it to me,” he passes it back to her.

She laughs at him, “Ben, you must be truly bored.”

Ben scoffs in mock offense, “I couldn’t possibly be bored. I have everything I need,” he tells her fully serious. She rolls her eyes and he changes his tone to one of deeper sincerity, “Do you know, if I was still in the First Order I’d probably be sitting in a meeting right now listening to Hux drone on about something tedious? Not that I would be listening, of course, because I’d be busy thinking about you,” it’s Rey’s turn to scoff now.

“You don’t need to try and seduce me, I’ve already had your baby,” she jokes.

Ben laughs. Partly because it was true but also because she knows very well his words of seduction, in the beginning, were hardly what he would consider _actual seduction_. “You know what I’m trying to say though. I never thought we would be able to live like this, be like this. I get to fall asleep next to you and now we wake up in the same room. We don’t fade away in the bond, we can just be.”

Now Rey’s heart swells. She knows exactly what he means.

“So even if the content is a little dry, I just really like hearing your voice. It’s strange that this is a luxury we’ve never had before...and we had to become fugitives to get it. What do they call those? Blessings in disguise?”

“Yeah,” she says softly. He was right. They now had time. Something that never agreed with them before. And to Ben, he just wants to hear her speak. He wants to hear the reminder of how even though so much had gone wrong and even though they are so afraid, they have now. They have each other.

“Okay. I’ll read you one chapter. If it intrigues you enough you can enjoy the rest for yourself because I’ll be finding a new book.”

  
“Deal,” he says. Rey sits back on the couch and raises her arms so Ben can put his head in her lap. Lorelei dozes off on his chest as Rey begins to read, one of her hands combing through his hair.

“ _There are four pigments that are absolutely necessary to be present in chlorophyll…_ ” Rey begins to read and Ben relaxes into her. Rey’s free hand combs her fingers through his hair as Ben runs small circles into Lorelei’s back.

 

* * *

 

Rey is giving Lorelei another bath. This was probably one of Rey’s favorite things now. Being able to have water, for one thing, was always a luxury to her but now she able to share it with her daughter. She knew it was more than necessary but they had a ridiculous amount of water in their resources and she admired how Ben tried to justify her obsession by saying, “If we want to keep circulating the water being used and if it rains every day then you should bathe her as much as you want.”

She knew he was only saying it for her benefit and it made her smile.

Ben was outside just then. He was hanging the laundry, keeping an eye on the clouds and making sure their freshly cleaned clothes didn’t get soaked again. She knew he was also watching the skies for any ships. Waiting nervously to see if anyone had found them but trying not to let his fears overcome him.

It had been about a month since Maz and Chewie left now. They had spoken to him about two weeks ago and he said how things were a bit more intense then they thought. The whole atmosphere’s of entire planets were being regulated which made it very difficult to travel and stay hidden. Chewie had to wait until he had a clear window to return.

But everything was going fine. They had plenty of supplies and their bond with Lorelei meant she was so well tempered. They were happy, even if they still watched the skies with worried eyes.

Rey lathers some soap into Lei’s little black wisps of hair. She makes soft little noises, seeming to enjoy the sensation and it makes Rey smile endlessly. She stops to look deep into her eyes, Ben’s eyes, and Rey will never tire of the sight of them.

Her eyesight was getting better. She could follow them a little better and notice from farther away from where they were. They were ever present in her mind as well. Their walls around her so protective, ever worried something might try to hurt her mind the way Snoke hurt Ben.

No amount of precaution seemed like too much.

Rey smiles and speaks to Lorelei softly, “So soft aren’t you. So beautiful,” she brings her little hands to her lips, kissing her palms softly. Something Ben did endlessly and Rey has now picked up as well. There was something so endearing about the gesture that made them crave it. To kiss the hands that figuratively held their hearts.

Now, Rey leans right in front of her face. The big brown eyes light up, looking directly into Rey’s hazel ones. Rey watches as she makes little noises and the corners of her mouth twitch slightly. Suddenly, the beginnings of a smile form until her little cheeks are dimpled and the baby is grinning at Rey, her toothless gums fully exposed.

Suddenly Rey feels weak in the knees. Her daughter was smiling at her. Ben needed to see this.

_Ben!_ she calls to him through the bond.

He answers instantly, _What? What happened? Is she okay?_ He sounds kind of panicked and she realizes how she had accidentally frightened him. The ever-looming thought above their heads that they were hunted people seeped into moments like this when they were worried they had been too distracted.  

_Everything is fine, she’s great, but you need to come see this, hurry!_

Within moments he bursts through the door, his hair wild from where the wind had pushed it and likely from him running, “Come here, look.”

Ben sets down the journal he had been holding. He had been using one of the blank journals from the shelf to fill with sketches. Mostly of Lorelei. It was the most convenient form of conserving memories since they didn’t have any cameras and would likely be too paranoid to use them anyway. He leaves it on the counter and approaches the kitchen sink where his daughter was squeaking.

When his eyes find her little face he gasps and Rey can feel how his heart melts. Ben feels what she felt just moments earlier. He walks forward, in awe, in love, until he's beside Rey by the edge of the sink. The excited coos spewing from the baby but the smile never leaving her face.

It’s breathtaking. Ben can hardly think from the sight of her. One thought breaks through though and Ben knows he will think this everytime he sees her smile for the rest of his life:

_She has her mother’s smile_.

Dimpled cheeks and pure joy in her eyes as she beams up at them. She looks at him only as her father, only in love and not as the monster he once was. He wants to only see that look from her forever. He never wants this to stop.

He leans forward to scoop her out of the sink. She still coated in soap and bubbles which instantly smears all over Ben but he doesn’t care, “Look at you…” he whispers and she gurgles in response.

Rey marvels at the grins on both of their faces. Both seem equally substantial. As one smiles for the first time, the other smiles in happiness he has never felt before. Rey had never seen Ben smile as much as he had since they’ve arrived to Lah’mu. Thoughts of the dangers suspended above their heads forgotten for the time being as he basks in the glow of their daughter.  He kisses Lorelei’s cheeks and hugs her against him, leaving him a sudsy mess. Soap from her hair getting all over his face. Rey grabs a towel and wraps it around the baby as best she can.

Ben pulls her closer to his side then, swiping his thumb past her cheeks and Rey realizes he’s wiping away tears. She didn’t even realize she was crying and she laughs at her lack of control. Tears just flowed now. She had no say in what they did anymore and every new thing Lorelei showed them resulted in this way.

Rey smiles from ear to ear as she tucks her face against Ben’s chest. The joy she feels simply by the vision of her family, smiling and happy, overwhelms her and she gives a wet laugh against Ben’s tunic. She loves this more than she thought one could love anything.

“You should draw this,” Rey tells him and he gasps, the sketchbook calling to him from the counter.

“Of course.” He passes Lei back to Rey and pulls her over to the couch and tries to preserve the moment as best he can.

When he’s done, he doesn’t think it does Lei’s smile any justice. He’s ever critical of his own work but Rey gushes over his marks, claiming each drawing was as beautiful as the last.

 

* * *

 

Lorelei is eight weeks old.

 

She’s still so small but growing a little bit more every day. It was frightening in a way. Somehow the last two months managed to feel like a lifetime and instantaneous all at once.

Chewie has yet to return but they keep in contact with him from the transceiver. They have a routine now though. They tend to Lorelei. They have picked up on the pattern of when she sleeps, when she wakes, when she’s hungry, or when she needs to be changed. They notice though, on the nights where it isn’t raining and the sky looks a little clearer, that going for a walk helps her fall asleep easier. Ben walks with her against his chest, she’s wrapped in a thick blanket and there’s a beanie Maz knitted that keeps her ears warm.

They watch as the sky is lit up by billions of stars. They know among those stars that there are endless amounts of people searching for them–hunting them. But their beauty, now looking so simplistic, just glittering lights in the sky chase those thoughts away.

Lorelei succumbs to sleep, her eyelashes fanned out over her round cheeks, “Let’s head back, my face is cold,” Ben chuckles quietly and Rey agrees. She was cold herself and wished she brought a blanket too, admiring the one wrapped around their baby.

They get back inside and Rey follows as Ben moves smoothly to the bedroom. She watches as he gently lays Lorelei down in her crib, ensuring that she doesn’t wake as he moves her. He tucks the blankets over her little body and situated Captain Kriffie next to her. The toy was longer than she was and it makes Ben smile. A reminder that although she was growing she was still so small. He just stands there, watching her, mesmerized. His hands braced along the sides, wanting to reach out but not wanting to wake her after all the effort they went to to get her to sleep.

Again, Rey sees what an amazing father he is. It fills her with so much love for him and she decides that if he can’t touch the baby right now, she wants him to touch her.

Ben looks over to her, having heard these thoughts and raises his brows a bit. They haven’t shared that with each other since they’ve arrived. Rey was recovering from labor but now, it’s been long enough where any concern that Ben might have had wasn’t necessary.

“Rey?” he says, his voice already low. He walks a little closer to her, where she stands in the doorway to the bedroom. She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she pulls him down, hands on his face so his lips meet hers. Their noses are cold from the wind outside and they both smile against each other. The chill from their skin beginning to dissipate with further contact. Ben brings his hands to settle on her hips and he feels how her own travel down from his face to hug him closer.

He pulls away, looking into her eyes, his own already dark with desire, “You’re sure? You’re feeling okay?” he then looks down, as if to gesture to her anatomy in question and Rey gives him a small chuckle.

“I’m sure.” She kisses him again and she can feel the smile of his lips against her cheeks, now much warmer. His big hands rubbing up and down her back, stopping to massage that one spot that had been bugging her lately. So tender.

They have missed this. Their actions turn from excitement to a slower and more passionate pace as they melt into each other like they have so many times before.

Ben bends slightly to pick her up, his hands sliding behind her thighs so she wraps her legs around him. He carries them to the bed and collapses at the end a little too loudly. A loud creak from beneath the mattress echoing out from the room.

“Shit, sorry,” he whispers and they wait a moment to see if it woke up the baby but she remains asleep. “We’ll have to be quiet,” he kisses her again.

“We’ll manage…” Rey says when her lips are free again. Her hands move to slide beneath his tunic and he feels her fingers splay across his abdomen before rising up so she can remove it from his body.

Free of the fabric, he does the same for her. She peels her own tunic over her head and Ben instantly dives to her exposed breasts. He is gentle, aware of how sensitive they are, not wanting to hurt her. He can feel for himself what his eyes have only studied. They were bigger. They were beyond their normal size, something Ben was very well acquainted with. He didn’t think they could get any more perfect, but to see them enlarged by the milk that fed their baby made him groan.

Ben laves against her and Rey moans out, trying to clamp it down, her earlier remark about “managing” now seemed like a much larger obstacle.

She pushes him back against the bed, wanting to get closer. Hearing her thoughts, he rolls them, now on top of her. She gasps into his mouth and he senses what she needs, without words. A convenient advantage when there was a sleeping baby across the room.

Ben can’t help but think of the last time they were truly together. Derilyn, of course. Derilyn where they arranged to meet for a few days so they see each other. Truly, not just through the bond. At the time, now almost a year ago, neither of them had any idea how profound those moments would be. They had created something there. Someone so beautiful that she had somehow become their whole world. Everything that mattered to them.

And it all started with moments like this. Ben hardly knows how they’ve managed for so long. So, they took their time. Now was all passion and comfort in all the ways they could only give each other.  

It was love at its most raw and Rey forgot how much she needed this.  She loved him endlessly every day. Watching him hold Lorelei or cook or do laundry with her. It was always warm and endearing. Powerful. But at times like this, she would feel how immensely deep that love went.  That love was so important to both of them. They poured everything into each other, always knowing what the other needed without a word spoken.

After, Ben hadn’t moved off of her yet and just buried his head in her neck, pressing sloppy kisses there.  No matter how many times they had been together, it always had this effect on them. It always felt as intense as their first time and left them both boneless and satisfied. She felt his smile against her skin as he kissed all the way down to her sternum.

She closed her eyes and let her fingers resume their work in his hair, much messier than it had been before.  

 

* * *

 

Lorelei is ten weeks old

She’s crying. She’s crying so loud but he can’t find her. He whips his head around, searching for her, “Lei? Lorelei!”

Why did everything look so strange? The room seemed to go on forever but it was blank. And Lorelei was nowhere.

“Rey?” he tries next but she’s not here either. Feeling frantic now, only guided by the frightened wails of his daughter, he runs. He yells their names endlessly, tears flying into his hair as he sprints.

Only he goes nowhere. Everything remains black, nothing changing. He falls to his knees and screams, his heart tearing apart to hear his daughter scared and alone. Just like himself.

But then he opens his eyes and her crib awaits before him. Only her crib. The black landscape continues all around them. He scrambles over, peering to see her little body inside. She looked a little older, a little bigger but Ben is too frightened to notice any specific details.

Her cries are whines now, she sounds like she’s exhausted and in pain, “Lei? Baby?” he reaches to pick her up when the sound of blood-curdling screams begin...and he knows well enough they are Rey’s.

 ...

 Ben shoots up from the bed in cold sweat, gasping for breath. Rey instantly rises too, feeling his distress and reaches for him, finding his muscles tense beneath her fingers. Lorelei bursts into tears, frightened by whatever had disturbed her father. Ben practically jumps to his feet and rushes over to her.

She’s the same as when he went to sleep. He is confused as to why she looked older in the dream but she is back to her ten-week old self. He lifts her from the crib, his hands shaking slightly but instantly kissing the hot tears off her cheeks. He feels so guilty knowing that these were his doing. It was his distress that has scared her, she felt it.

“Shh...I’m sorry, Lei. I’m sorry,” he whispers to the baby, holding her to his chest. Rey stands beside him, just waiting.

He turns around, Lorelei whimpering against his chest and Rey’s hands settle on the baby’s back, trying to relax her, “Ben?”

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” he can’t even manage the words. She holds her hand to his face, trying to see his eyes in the darkness of the room. He sighs, “I...I saw myself. I could hear her crying. Crying harder than I’ve ever heard from her but I couldn’t find her,” his voice breaks a little and Rey’s heart aches too. But there was still something else. There was more but she didn’t need to ask.

“And then I found her. I don’t know where we were. Everything was dark except for us. She was in pain and I reached out for her...but then I heard this scream. Your scream. Only you weren’t there. I couldn’t find you, Rey,” he sobs as he sinks into Rey’s embrace. She wraps her arms around them. Lorelei’s cries are persistent and frightened as well as Ben’s own tears. She holds them close, her family shaking in her arms.

“I’m here, we all are. We’re okay,” she tells him.

“But what if...what if it means something. What if it’s a vision,” he cries into her neck. “What if something happens to you?”

Rey doesn’t know what to say. As much as she wanted to promise him that nothing was going to happen to her, she knew that they lived endangered lives. “Ben-” she starts.

“If something happens to you, that means I couldn’t stop it. I would have failed,” he interjects and Lorelei whimpers against them.

Rey feels her own tears falling now. Rey has seen a much more emotional side of Ben since they learned they were going to be parents. He carried a constant worry that Rey shared too, but he was always so hard on himself.

She pulls him to sit on the bed. He keeps his arms around the baby but Rey holds a hand to his bare back. She remembers when those dreams came to her when she was pregnant. The ones of Katarina on Jakku. She awoke much like this and Ben was there to hold her, comfort her.

She will do the same for him now.

His breathing sounds frantic, like his mind full of fears is consuming him and he can’t stop it. But Rey grabs a hold of his face with one hand and holds another to Lorelei’s back. She stays strong for them, stronger than she feels, and presses forward to soothe them with calming thoughts.

Within moments, Lorelei’s cries trail off and she quiets as Ben’s breathing slowly returns to normal. She holds out her arms for the baby and he passes Lei over, finally exhaling enough that his shoulders slump in relief. Still, he leans into Rey, his head on one shoulder and Lei’s resting on the other. Rey’s arms hold them together. Her arms that reassure Lorelei she is safe as well as Ben and he breathes against her neck for a while, wanting to surround himself in her scent. His sobs have stopped but a few stray tears linger and fall onto her skin. He knows Lorelei’s tears must stain her other shoulder and again, Ben knows this is his fault.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Ben. Everything’s okay. She’s safe, I’m safe. We’re all here. Maybe it was just a dream.”

Ben’s mind protests. He was worried it could be something else. A warning maybe? And surely Rey knows that but is trying to help him relax. Lorelei stirs again, just for a moment and Rey presses soft kisses on her ears, “Shh, it’s alright.”

Lorelei’s upset is short lived as she quiets, beginning to doze off again on Rey’s shoulder.  Ben is sitting back up, holding fast to Rey’s hand. He isn’t crying anymore but his tears remain. Hot and salty on his skin. Just as Rey had done to Lei, she leans forward and kisses them off his face. Her lips land again on his scar, her favorite place below his eye. She touches him so tenderly and she can physically feel on herself how much he relaxes.

He can breathe again.

Rey pushes him to lay down on the bed, his exhausted mind needed more comfort. She lays beside him, Lorelei on her chest. For the rest of tonight, she would sleep with them. She knew Ben would want her close and at this point, Rey did too.

All is quiet for a while. Ben just breathes, trying to regain his composure and build his walls around Lorelei’s mind again. He didn’t mean to scare her. When he feels her drift back asleep he speaks again, his voice soft and warm as he talks into Rey’s hair, “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. _Even now_ , I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself together for her. She was scared too and it was my fault.” His eyes wander down to look at the baby laid across Rey’s torso.

Rey swallows, trying to find the right words, “If something were to happen to me you will keep her safe. Even if you’re afraid you will always protect her. I believe that so much Ben,” she feels her own tears spill over again. Talking like this was always so heavy on them, “You’re so much stronger than you think you are.” She feels him burrow further into her hair, his lips finding the skin behind her ear, “But I’m fine. We’re okay. I’m not about to let anything happen to any of us.”

Ben holds them a little tighter, “Neither am I.” He runs a hand past Lei’s back, his head perking up to see her without the curtain of Rey’s hair as if to make sure she was really asleep, really okay, and she was. He finds Rey’s eyes then, filled with worry for him and he leans down to kiss her softly, “I love you...so much. So much,” he repeats.

“I love you,” she says back before pulling him to rest his head in the crook of her shoulder again. His breath fans out across her collarbone and she feels how it is much steadier than before.

That is how they fall asleep, Rey sandwiched between Ben and Lorelei as their heads nestle on her shoulders. One so small and the other so big, both fitting perfectly. She really hopes it was just a bad dream of his. To be without this, Rey thinks she would lose who she is.

This is all that mattered to her.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, the Falcon flies overhead and lands in the field. Chewie, Malla, and Waroo reunited with the family. It had been over two months since they last saw Chewie and it was such a pleasant reunion to see not only him but his family again.

Chewie instantly reached for Lorelei and held her close, rejoiced by the smile she gave him and he cheered. Ben and Rey laugh at him, knowing exactly how he feels.

“She’s even more beautiful than the last time I was here. I want to hear everything! Tell me all she’s done. Malla, come here, you need to hold her,” He’s ecstatic but holds out the baby in his arms to his wife, eager for her to see for herself how perfect Lorelei is.

Ben and Rey smile but she squeezes his hand. They are both still tired from last night, still frazzled by Ben’s dream. Luckily Lorelei doesn’t seem to be lingering on it as she gives little giggles as she is passed from wookiee to wookiee.

Chewie must notice their underlying tension and nerves because he asks them about it as they walk to the homestead. Malla and Waroo walk ahead of them, distracted by Lorelei while they discuss things amongst the three of them.

“What’s wrong? You two seem...I mean don’t get me wrong, you seem great but you look clingier than usual.”

Ben speaks first, “We had a rough night. Bad dreams.”

Rey stares up at Ben. That was a bit of an understatement. They weren’t even sure if it was a dream or not. She keeps her eyes on him until he speaks again, this time more specific. They could always be honest with Chewie.

“At least we hope it was a dream. I’m scared it might have been a vision,” Ben clarifies. He squeezes Rey’s hand tighter. The thought that this nightmare could become reality seeping into his mind again

“We’re just a little shaken up today,” Rey says.

Chewie nods, taking their meaning. He looks ahead to his wife and son. Lorelei’s soft coos traveling through the breeze and meet their ears, “And Lei?”

“She’s fine. Amazing actually. These past months have been amazing. She’s happy…”

“I’m not surprised,” Chewie moans. He gestures back to the Falcon, “We stopped by Batuu on the way here. Nurmi gave me some more supplies, mainly diapers but some other things she’s found since last time. Some children’s books she might like.”

“That sounds great, Chewie,” Rey says.

“I’ve also got a whole bunch of clothes for all of you. Courtesy of Maz. She knits when she gets nervous so needless to say, you all have new wardrobes.”

They laugh, knowing it wasn’t actually funny. Maz’s nerves were heightened for a reason but they still appreciated all the work she was doing anyway. Chewie knows this and offers something else. His own form of nervous knitting in the configuration of mechanical work.

“You know, I’ve got some things on board. If it makes you feel better we could protect the home a little bit. Give you a little extra security in case anything happens. Or just to help you sleep at night.”

Ben stops walking. He looks to Chewie. Chewie who he has known his whole life. He’s done so much for them and still offers more help. The wookiee halts as well and Rey just watches both of them.

“Yes. Thank you, Chewie,” Ben's voice sounds kind of shaky. It reminds Rey of how he sounded last night. This time though it is laced with hope and gratitude.

Chewie doesn’t groan back a reply. Instead, he just holds out his long arms and wraps them around Ben, hugging him, a big grin on his face.

Rey laughs out. Ben was so big compared to her. She always liked the feeling of being in his arms because it made her feel safe. Now she gets to see how Chewie has that effect on Ben. She leans forward and joins them, both of their arms welcoming her into the embrace.

“Group hug!” Chewie moans.

“Shut up! You’ll ruin it,” Ben says back but Rey can hear the smile in his voice.

 

* * *

 

They talk about many things. Most topics are enjoyable. They want to see for themselves everything new that Lorelei can do. Every time she smiles, they all seem to purr. And when she laughs, they laugh with her. Ben and Rey don’t mind at all. They’ve kept Lorelei all to themselves these past months and are eager to show all she can do. They’re so proud of her.

Rey is insistent to show off Ben’s sketchbooks filled with renderings of Lorelei from various days he’s drawn. Ben is embarrassed at first but rather likes to see how happy it makes Rey to have something tangible of how much their daughter has grown over the past ten weeks. He’s glad he was able to give her that.

And no one seems to see the mistakes he thought were obvious. It makes him look at the sketches in a fonder light.

Other topics are not as pleasant.

It's after dinner. Ben had laid Lorelei down in her crib and returned to the table when Rey asks how the Resistance was doing. Chewie sighs and Malla rests a hand on his shoulder. Ben and Rey tense at the gesture. That was supposed to be one of the easier questions and already things were getting serious.

“Could be better, could be worse. They are doing what they can to stop Hux’s tyranny but it isn’t easy. He has full control of the stormtrooper army and sends them everywhere. Full battalions are sent whenever the First Order gets a tip of where you might be. They’re destroying whole cities looking for you.”

Rey gasps and Ben feels ill. He remembers when he once destroyed an entire village all in pursuit of Luke’s map. All it took was his word and instantly dozens of people were killed. Now that was happening everywhere and it made his stomach lurch. In a way, it was still his fault.

Rey’s hand squeezes his thigh. He shakes his head and tries to rise above these thoughts. He didn’t want Rey to have to cater to him and his turbulent feelings. She was so caring and nurturing, always looking out for him, but he needed to look out for her too. Something he feels he’s always short on.

“Finn and Rose are your strongest supporters. They came to Takodana asking about you. They aren’t mad. They understand why you did what you did and they are handling Ben’s... _involvement_ in all this rather well.” By _involvement_ , Chewie really meant to imply how Ben had fathered Rey’s baby but didn’t really feel comfortable saying it that way.  

“That’s probably the best news I have for you. Poe has branded you a traitor but I doubt the majority of the Resistance feels the same way. With proper understanding, Finn and Rose’s perspective could become more common.”

Rey knows he says this to make them feel better, but it hardly mattered. Whether the Resistance accepted them or not, they were still fugitives to the rest of the galaxy. It was nice to hear though that Finn and Rose were more accepting than she expected. Rey suspects there’s more to that story but doesn’t pry. Chewie wasn’t done talking.

“That man, Xid...” Chewie moans and Ben’s spine stiffens, “...we think he and another knight are searching for you on their own. Only the other four knights are ever seen in the propaganda and footage when they show planets being investigated.”

Ben thinks for a moment. Xid probably thought he could find them faster than anyone. To this, Ben is actually put at ease. The force abilities of not only Xid but all the knights were not as potent as Ben and Rey’s powers. If the knights were split up then that was to their advantage.

“He’s not as strong as he thinks he is. He won’t find us. And if the knights are split up, that means they’re having more problems than just looking for us. They’re turning on each other. Maybe trying to see who the new leader should be…” Ben suggests to everyone. Rey nods in agreement. She’s about to add something else when Lorelei cries from her crib.

“I got her,” she says standing up, heading for the bedroom. Malla rises and goes with her and then it is just Ben and Chewie sitting at the table. Normally Ben would have rushed to his crying daughter, but his possible vision from last night is on his mind again. He leans forward, gesturing for Chewie to do the same.

“Chewie, I don’t know how to say this. Rey and I–we don’t keep secrets, but I need…” he sighs in frustration. Just speaking in hushed tones while Rey was out of the room felt like a betrayal to her, but he needed to keep them safe. He needed insurance. “If something happens–goes wrong–then I need it to happen to _me_. I need _them_ to escape.”

“Ben-” Chewie starts, worried where he’s going with this but Ben holds up his hand.

“Please. Let me finish,” Chewie holds back. “Rey will want to come for me. To try to rescue me. If she tries to do that I need you to stop her. I can’t have her risking herself for me. If she gets hurt, then Lorelei could be...” he can’t even finish the sentence. “Chewie, I-”

Chewie interrupts him this time, “I understand. I don’t agree...but I understand. I’ll do as you say if– _if_ –that happens. But it won’t so stop thinking about it.” He’s nearly scolding him for it but Ben is grateful for his cooperation anyway.

Rey walks back in with Malla behind her. Lorelei went back to sleep fairly easily so it didn’t take long, but she can tell something has been said since her absence. Neither speaks up but Ben looks pale. Well, more pale than usual. She could feel how his mind felt a little vulnerable, the way it felt last night. She suspects he might have told Chewie more about the dream and she moves to hold him. His arms encircle her as she sits in his lap leaning against his shoulder.

At this point, Chewie must so accustomed to their outward affections that he doesn’t mind.

 

* * *

 

The next few days are spent in the company of three friendly wookiees. Together they share chores while Chewie and Waroo add some security cameras to the outlying vaporators that synchronize to some screens back at the home. It seemed like the Erso’s had done that as well but Chewie made them a little more responsive. He placed spare parts for them in the ship that remained in the cave in case they ever broke down. It wasn’t much extra security but it was still enough that they could sleep a little better.

One evening, Chewie and Malla sit at the kitchen table, watching as the living room lit up with laughter and happy voices. Ben and Rey were on the floor, sprawled out on the nest of blankets they had made, playing with some of the new toys Chewie got from Nurmi while Lorelei laid out on her tummy, giggling at her parent's antics. Waroo sat against the couch, laughing along with them.

Lei’s neck was strong enough to support her head on her own now, lifting it up and looking all around at the smiles that surrounded her.

Malla reaches for Chewie across the table, “They are amazing,” she tells him. Malla loved Rey. She came to care for her so much in her months on Kashyyyk. Now finally able to see her again, along with Ben and Lorelei, it overwhelms Malla with a fierce emotional pull. Something maternal that she needed to protect as if they were her own.

And in a way they were. The Solo line would always be a part of their tribe.

“They really are. Ben, he’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. I wish his parents were here to see it. To see them.”

“Maybe they can,” Malla suggests and Chewie smiles.

Just then, Lorelei’s giggles erupt into hysterical laughter, accompanied by a strange noise. Without thinking, Chewie scolds Waroo as if he were a child again, “Lumpawaroo!”

“It wasn’t me!” Waroos defends himself though laughing himself. Chewie looks down to the floor where the family was. Rey was rolled over, shaking but no sounds escaping her as she tried to breathe through her own hysterics. The sound that Chewie had mistaken for his son’s flatulence was coming from the dark head of hair buried against Lorelei’s tummy.

Ben Solo was blowing raspberries.

Chewie laughs himself but watches in near awe. Again he sees first hand how far this boy had come. He never would have thought he would see this man sprawled out on the floor, making fart noises against his daughter’s stomach, but it unfolds before him and it may be the best thing he’s ever seen.

“Does that feel funny, Lei?” Ben asks the baby who just beams up at him, no idea what his words mean, “Does that make a funny noise? It’s loud, huh?” he asks her and she reaches up for his face, smile bigger than ever. “I wonder if it works on mommy? Should we try it?” He looks at Rey from the corner of his eye. Lei squeaks and Ben takes that as the positive response, “I think so too.”

“No! No, Ben. Don’t!” Rey can hardly speak, she’s still recovering from her previous fits of laughter.

“Sorry sweetheart. Lei wants to hear it,” he dives for Rey’s cheek, blowing loudly against her skin. Lorelei laughs and kicks her legs in the air, erupting with joy as she watches her father be so silly. Ben can hardly keep himself stable as he shakes in result from her infectious laughter and Rey's eyes are watering so bad she can barely see.

It never gets old. She laughs just as hard with every resurgence of the noise.

This all continues for about another ten minutes before Lorelei’s little eyelashes begin to flutter and her laughs begin to trail off.  She was totally exhausted and everyone else was pretty winded from laughing too. She winds down and Ben scoops her up, "Alright, I think that's enough for now. Maybe more tomorrow," he says to Lei and out of everyone in the room, Waroo seems the most disappointed to see it end. 

He got such a kick out of the little baby and honestly the noises as well. Wookiees were covered in hair so it wasn't the type of thing he did with his parents when he was little.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Ben and Rey walk out of the homestead to bid farewell to their friends. It takes a great deal of determination to load back up onto the Falcon but Chewie, Malla, and Waroo manage anyway. Chewie had spoken to Maz the night before. She needed some help though she didn’t say what. Likely Resistance business she was too worried to discuss over the transmitters. Needless to say, it was time for them to leave.

“I’ll be back soon. Hopefully, it won’t take as long this time but…’

“We understand,” Rey said. She walks forward, taking his hand in hers, “But we’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too. We all will,” he nods back beyond the ramps where Waroo and Malla were. They had finished their goodbyes but Chewie lingered to give his own. His eyes wander to Ben who stands with the baby in his arms. He walks forward so Chewie can say goodbye, “Bye little Lei. Don’t grow up too fast.”

He then moves his eyes to the matching pair of her father. Chewie thinks of the favor Ben asked of him. The one where Chewie was to keep Rey and Lorelei safe should something happen. It makes him ache to think of anything of the sort but pushes it aside, wanting to say goodbye instead of feeling upset.

He brings a paw to his face, stroking it softly before wildly tousling his hair. Ben huffs, unable to see past the black curtain and Chewie laughs at him.

Lorelei giggles softly, perhaps from Chewie’s laughter or sensing the amusement from her mother. Ben looks down at her, tone dry but heart melting, “What are you laughing at?”

Chewie holds out his arms and pulls the three of them into his embrace once again, "I like these group hugs," he moans.

Ben groans again but doesn't move away. He likes them too, just won't admit it. Chewie nuzzles all three of them before turning and heading back up the ramp. He would be back soon, and they will be fine. 

That is what they had to tell themselves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How likely is it that raspberries are called "raspberries" in the Star Wars universe? Pretty slim because they probably don't even have the edible kind of raspberries. I tried to find out a more generic name for it but after twenty minutes of descriptive keywords and strange suggestions from Google, I copped out and just left it as raspberries.
> 
> This is just Part I of our Lah'mu fluffines so we'll be seeing more glimpses into their lives as Lorelei grows.


	17. Inbetween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is just kind of what is going on "inbetween" the stress the galaxy is under while Ben and Rey raise their daughter in hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly short compared to other chapters but I still wanted to show what everyone else is up to even if it isn't very exciting. I know I could technically add this to the "Home" chapters but I wanted those to be exclusively about Ben, Rey, and the baby. My mind feels more organized like that.
> 
> Good news is that the next chapter is pretty much already written so it shouldn't be long before I post it!  
> ~(˘▾˘~)
> 
> It's kinda weird because I'm really busy right now but apparently the more stress I'm under, the more committed I am to just write fanfiction and be a total loser...needless to say I get like no sleep these days so all these chapters could be even bigger crap than I think they are.
> 
> Welp, I've come this far ¯\\(°_o)/¯

It’s been three months. Three months and still Xid and Soldar have made it nowhere.

That could be said for everyone though. _Nobody_ has picked up their scent. The tips that the other knights and troopers were pursuing were all dead ends. Apparently the same could be said for literally every bounty hunter alive.

Xid and Soldar had spent the last three months just wandering, going system to system hoping they could pick something up. They had first gone to Mustafar, thinking Kylo would have taken his family to his grandfather’s castle, but it seemed that Kylo had even risen above the obsession of his grandfather.  

They traveled everywhere that they ever recalled Kylo being associated with. Chandrila being the main one but they knew before they arrived that he wouldn’t be there.

They ventured to Jakku as well which was a similar story. Simply because they knew it was where the girl was from but Xid already knew that of all the places the couple would go, Jakku was probably the least likely of options. It was another waste of time that resulted in insufferable heat and sand in boots.

It left them with no direction. And now, with no master to guide them, they realized they had no idea what they were doing. Xid thought he knew Kylo better than anyone. He had trained alongside him for years but he’s beginning to realize that he didn’t know him at all. Xid didn’t even realize the extent of Kylo betrayal until Hux brought it up.

 _Hux_. Of all people.

Xid feels useless. Their progress wasn’t any better than that of Iella and the others. But Xid had come too far to turn back. He would only humiliate himself to give up now. He had to return with them in custody or he would never prove to be their master. He would have lost all authority.

Something needed to change.

“Perhaps we should work on training. Improving our strategies. We aren’t doing anything worthwhile anyway,” Xid says to Soldar. Soldar looks to him a little surprised. Even after their months working together in pursuit of these fugitives, Xid has not spoken so honestly to Soldar. To infer that they needed more training was rational, even if it made him sound weak.

“Sounds good. Where do you suggest we go? Back to Mustafar?” Soldar asks. That was where they would train before, with Kylo. That was where there was enough darkness to let them concentrate.

“No. We need to stay connected. Maybe we can just listen for a while, see what comes to us,” Xid explains. Maybe they were trying too hard.

“Where then?” Soldar asks.

Xid considers their surroundings. They were in the outer rim, just shy of wild space. Perhaps this was their gateway. To wait in the middle of where Kylo would likely run.

“We wait. We resort to wherever is closest and that is where we remain.”

Soldar studies the navicomputer for a moment, locating the nearest planet. When the computer chirps in discovery, Soldar looks back to Xid with a sheepish expression, “Batuu,” he says blatantly. “Would you rather go someplace else?”

Xid sighs. He thinks of how Batuu was the first trip that sparked this horrible track record. Other than that though, he supposes there’s little reason for him to be bitter. They can steer clear of the fat drunkards (if there's any left).

“Fuck it. Batuu it is,” Xid says and Soldar almost chuckles at this new casual nature of his fellow knight.

 

* * *

 

Chewie walks into the control room to see _another_ heated discussion is transpiring. Poe was determined to refuse everything Finn and Rose had to give him.

Chewie had spent a short amount of time back with the Resistance before his trip to Lah’mu. It wasn’t pleasant, to say the least. He was questioned and prodded by nearly everyone on base. The most furious of them though was, of course, Poe. And now that Chewie has returned, he realizes that the situation is very much the same.

Chewie had announced to everyone, the way he did to Finn and Rose that Ben– _Ben Solo,_ not Kylo Ren–was who selected this base for them. He kept them clear of the First Order for the two or so years that they were stationed on Arkanis. Of course, Poe found a way to complain about this and deny his good deeds indefinitely.

That same argument seemed to be happening again. Chewie isn’t sure what led up to it but it’s unfolding rather aggressively. He’s not sure he’s ever seen Rose literally shouting before. At least not at Poe. But that was likely because Poe probably started shouting first.

“That was not his decision to make! If we want to fight, we fight,” Poe exclaims.

“But you didn’t need to, Poe!” Rose throws back at him. “But now we need to and in case you haven’t noticed we aren’t doing too good. Look around. Ever since Hux has become the Supreme Leader, we lose members every day. We weren’t even a part of the war anymore. We were being sustained for a reason. Ben was helping us!”

Poe scoffs, “That creep doesn’t need to do me any favors! Suppose I wanted to fight!”

“But you didn’t _have to_! That was the point. For the first time in years, we didn’t have to fight. We could just build. Help each other and learn, grow. Ben gave us that chance. We could be prepared in case something like this happened but now that it has you’re just pretending like this is still his fault!”

“Shut up! _I’m_ the one that protected us. He may have picked the place but it was us that chose what to do with our time!” Poe looks like he’s going to start stomping like a toddler.

“You’re being so fucking childish!” Rose yells. Poe doesn’t care, just shrugs.

Chewie debates turning back around and leaving when he’s sighted, “Oh! Nice of you to join us. You enjoy your vacation?” his tone is accusatory, sarcastic and irritated. Obnoxious to everyone else that could hear him.

Chewie freezes. Poe was being so...well, childish.

“I came to help. Maz mentioned you were having some trouble.”

Actually what Maz had said was, “ _Please! for kriff’s sake, will you go and try to sort them out. They’re a fucking mess. Dameron’s lucky my legs are so short because next time I see him I want to give him the kick in the ass he deserves. Maybe you could do it for me?”_

“We’re fine,” Poe says. His jaw is clenched though and he looks like he could burst, “We don’t need your help.”

Finn steps in now, “Poe! How can you say that?”

“I don’t need any help from the guy that runs errands for the people responsible for this whole mess we’re in. Are we all supposed to pretend we don’t know that you went to visit them on your little trip or are you gonna try to tell me you were just on another supply run?” Poe steps closer to Chewie. “That’s what Rey said, every time.”

“Excuse me?” Chewie groans but it’s closer to a growl.

“I’m not an idiot!” That was debatable. “Every time she left here to go screw that psychopath she’d tell me she was going on a supply run.”

What has happened to this man? Was he always like this? Chewie can’t remember but all he knows is that now he’s become such an insufferable asshole. “I came back to help, where I’ve been matters only to me.”

Poe just rolls his eyes, “Fuck it. I don’t care. I seem to be the only person around here that understands that that _thing_ you’ve been helping will always be a monster.”

Chewie thinks of arguing, but at this point, it wasn’t worth it. Poe wasn’t going to listen. That was evident as it seemed like Finn and Rose had that argument with him every day. Instead, Chewie takes a deep breath and decides to push past this rage. This was still the Resistance and Hux was still the bigger asshole. There were worse problems to deal with.

He turns to Finn though, hoping to have a more grounded conversation. “How can I help?” is all he says.

“There’s some pretty battered looking ships in the hangar. We need some help in getting them back together,” Finn says fairly quietly. He sounds almost apologetic.

Chewie was expecting something a little more “hands-on” than maintenance chores but he remembers how he’s a fugitive too now. If the First Order got a hold of him that would likely be the end of him. He supposes being the mechanic is the best he can offer at the moment, at least while he's here.

“I’m on it,” Chewie responds, eager to leave the control room that is so unbelievably tense from Poe’s behavior. Honestly, it was embarrassing to watch. He turns from the room and Finn and Rose follow him like he’s the mother loth cat.

They obviously want to talk about his visit with them but Chewie wants to stay quiet. It was safer that way. And yet, they look so tired, so hopeless. He thinks they deserve a little light about the family. They needed some good news. He motions for them to follow him back up to the Falcon, those weathered ships could wait. Waroo and Malla join them soon enough and they share what they can of the small family bound by love, hidden safe and weaved deep in the stars.

 

* * *

 

Hux is still on Coruscant. He was recovered though still adjusting to his new arm. He awoke every day to the knowledge that he was the Supreme Leader. He awaited his return to space travel while his new ship was being constructed.

It was to be called the Ascendancy.

It would be comparable in size and elegance to the Supremacy. Meant to honor what was destroyed three years ago. To honor where their Order once started. Under the siege of the powerful Snoke.

It was going to be all class and sophistication aboard the Ascendancy. Hux needed to make sure of that.

Hux had always despised Kylo’s decision to trudge forward in the embarrassment of a vessel that is the Absolution. Once meant for training troopers for completion. It was never the place where actual business was meant to be conducted on. It was foolish to assume it could be capable of anything more.

 _“Why should we spend money on another ship we don’t need?”_ The traitor had once said. Kylo argued that a majority of the ships made on the First Order were constructed in work camps by slaves. Apparently something Kylo thought needed to be eradicated.  But he was wrong.

Just as this galaxy needed leaders, it needed slaves too. Hands needed to get dirty if anything was to be progressed back in the right direction. And slaves seemed to be the most efficient workers. Organics and droids would create his new throne. His vessel would be built by those who would always remember that Armitage Hux won.

Perhaps it is why Hux has ordered the completion of the ship to be done nearly twice as fast and by any means necessary. Thousands of slaves were being flown in from various systems and planets to be put to work on his craft. There was no time to lose.

It had already been three months since Kylo fled the Order. That meant the child was growing. They were raising it to be just like them no doubt. That was something Hux would not allow. It needed to be found soon. As long as those fugitives live in this galaxy, so does hope.

As soon as they were eliminated, the child would be handed over to the knights. That was only if it proved to be worthwhile, of course.

If it had potential, it would be raised to serve the First Order. Hux thinks of how Kylo and the scavenger’s spawn would have to answer to him one day. Their child would be raised to serve him.

How ironic...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by "Poe is a whiny bitch™" cereal. Eat your ignorant flakes and everyone on base will respect you...or think you're a mega douche hehe
> 
> I got Leia slapping Poe in tlj, now I want Maz to stand on a table in IX and kick him in the balls. Is that too much to ask for? Do I need help?
> 
> The answer is always yes.
> 
> Oh yeah...and Hux is pretty horrible too™. I wanted him to have some Palpatine vibes so that is why we end on the whole "ironic" line but most of you probably already knew that.
> 
> "I don't give a Hux if he's naughty mom. I love him!" -actual words I said to my mother who has no idea what I'm talking about.


	18. Home | Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic life Part II. Lorelei from about 4 to 6 months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, I am weak so I'm posting this right after the last chapter. 
> 
> Secretly though, it's because we are nearly at 200 kudos and I want you guys to have a fluffy weekend.
> 
> I love all of you beautiful dorks. I've never met any of you but you seem to dig Reylo babies so I know you're all gorgeous.
> 
> Again, this chapter focuses on the months of growth and family softness on Lah'mu. I'm still no baby expert and that probably becomes really evident in this chapter but dammit I need the fluff.

Lorelei is four months old.

 

Rey sits on the floor in front of the couch, Ben’s legs braced on either side of her as his fingers thread through her hair. Although she had done her hair her whole life, she found that she much preferred when Ben did it. He would braid it for her and pin it up in ways she could never accomplish on her own.

His fingers threaded meticulously and so tenderly against her scalp, now in full practiced ease from their near four months on Lah’mu.

Lorelei sat in her lap while Rey flipped through another picture book that makes her babble and smack the pages in amusement. Clearly enjoying herself.

When Ben finishes braiding Rey’s hair, he leans forward and kisses the nape of her neck, “All done.” Rey chuckles as his beard tickles her skin.

The beard was a new development. It was something Ben had never had before. The First Order had shots given to males that stumped hair growth to keep up with the strict dress code. It wore off every three months and had to be readministered to have continued effects. But for the first time in years, Ben hasn't received the shot and now the evidence grows on his face along with the hair on his head growing at a quicker pace.

Rey turns around, placing the baby in his lap before kissing him softly, “Thank you.” She runs her fingers through his hair, admiring his long black tresses. It was probably the longest it had ever been. It was certainly the longest she had ever seen it on him, even if only an inch longer or so. She gives him a smirk before she jokes, “Your turn?” She wouldn’t mind braiding his hair but he instantly shakes his head and groans.

“It’s starting to really bug me,” he shakes his head a little to show how much of it covers his face and she laughs at him. Lorelei, as if she knew the topic of their discussion reaches up and tugs on the curtain of hair in front of her, earning a grunt from Ben. Rey stifles a laugh while she tries to release the strong little fist.

“And then there’s that,” he says.

“I can trim it for you if you want,” she offers but her hands settle back to the hair on his chin. _The beard had to stay though_ , she decides.

Ben knows she’s qualified to cut his hair, but he hesitates before answering, “Okay...but don’t go too short. It still needs to cover my ears,” he said. She rolls her eyes at him while she motions for him to follow her to the fresher. He stands from the couch, grabbing Captain Kriffie from the floor, handing it to Lorelei who instantly brings it to her mouth.

“You cannot seriously still be self-conscious of your ears. I thought seeing them on your daughter would increase your favor for them,” Rey chides.

“I do. I love her ears,” he kisses them as if to prove his admiration before he sets her down in the crib. “They’re beautiful on her whereas mine only highlight all my other awkward features,” he explains, thinking he’s made his point but Rey rolls her eyes again.

“Your ears are perfect,” she announces but Ben scoffs, “and they make you all the more handsome, just like Lorelei’s ears make her all the more beautiful because she gets them from you.”

“She’ll hate me for them later,” he mumbles, recalling how other children used to taunt him for his appearance. His ears always subject to ridicule. But Rey seemed to think otherwise as she pushes him to sit on the covered toilet seat.

She needs him sitting down so she could easily maneuver through his hair. She pulls out the scissors from the drawer. Having enough of his arguments she angels the shears toward him in a mock threat and suppresses a smile. His eyes widen, although he knows she’s kidding, and he buttons his complaints about himself.

“Stop saying stupid things. I love your ears and I love them on our baby. And if _she_ ever confronts me on the subject,” she motions to the crib outside the door where Lorelei is babbling, “I will tell her the same thing; that she has her father’s ears and she wears them beautifully.”

Ben looks up at her from his spot on the toilet and decides he will listen to her. He can feel just how much she loves him and to an extension his ears. He thinks maybe he is being a little ridiculous, “Okay then.”

“Thank you,” she says before getting to work. She snips away as black hairs float to the ground. She only trims it, understanding that he liked his ears covered anyway but still goes a little shorter than his usual length. When she dust off his shoulders he finally stands to look in the mirror and smiles when he sees her work.

The facial hair still looked a little foreign to him but he was inclined to like it, knowing Rey loved it. He had heard those thoughts of hers quite often lately.  He rather enjoyed looking so dashing in her eyes. Not that he would agree with her. He always found himself a strange gangly mess but she was convinced he possessed a beauty that was so blatantly obvious.

Ben thanks her by kissing her forehead before he jumps in the shower to get all the stray hairs off his body. Eager to be free of the itch it brings to his skin.

Rey, proud of her work, goes to check on Lorelei. Lorelei lifts up her arms a bit, happy to see her mother. Rey picks her up, unable to keep her kisses away from her ears, “Your daddy is so exhausting, isn’t he?” she jokes.

Lorelei babbles and though she has no idea what Rey is saying, she smiles anyway, brushing past her soft hair. Still very short but Rey imagines of the day that Ben will braid her hair as lovely as he braids Rey’s own. A man of many hidden talents, all as beautiful as the last.

* * *

 

Later that evening, Rey lays a sleeping Lorelei down in her crib. She’s been sleeping so well lately.

They all have.

Ben hasn’t had any other “dreams” since the one from two months ago. A relief to everyone.

And Rey is glad that Ben is feeling better about it. He isn’t as panicked when Lei wakes up crying. Rey was getting better at that too. They were learning.

Rey tucks her in the blankets, ensuring she’s snug and warm. Her little snores make Rey’s heart brim with love to see her baby sleeping soundly. She places a hand on her back, _You’re so loved, Lei._

She moves away from the crib, turning to see Ben with a smirk on his face.

She knows that smirk. She thinks he’s eyeing her hair, eager to untie her braid and initiate the old Alderaanean tradition. A tradition they were very good at honoring.

It was one of the most intimate acts two people could share from his mother’s home planet and they never miss the opportunity. Of course, Ben braided her hair nearly every morning which meant nearly every night ended in a similar fashion. As her hair untangled, they found themselves tangled in different ways.

She waits patiently, the smile on her face unable to hide, “May I help you?” she asks him coyly and the smirk on his face becomes a grin.

“Perhaps.”

“Come on then,” she makes way for the bed.

“Not yet,” he says and to this, Rey is surprised. “I was hoping you could help me with something first.”

“Oh?” she’s intrigued. She walks closer to him from where he leans against the door frame, “And what would that be?”

Ben hugs her closer, leaning her body against his and kissing her softly. A distraction she realizes before he kneels to scoop her into his arms and carry her back into the living room. She laughs quietly, not wanting to wake the baby as he steps forward to settle her on the couch.

Rey tries to pry into his mind, trying to sense what he’s thinking but he’s determined to keep it to himself as long as he can. The smirk is always present though so Rey lets him have this. As she now lays on the couch, he positions her until he’s sure she’s comfortable.

And then he starts to pull at her tunic, peeling it from her body.

When she is free of it, Rey tries to do the same to him when he stills her hands, “No. Not me.”

Rey chuckles, “Why not?”

“Because I’m not the muse.”

Rey freezes, confused for a moment until she sees the blank sketchbook laid open on the table behind him. Rey begins to see where this is going.

He wanted to draw her...like _that_.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” she tells him beginning to sit up. His hands continue to smooth over her exposed skin, hoping his touch would convince her. “That’s not happening.”

“Why not?” he sounds like a whining child.

Rey answers instantly, “Suppose Chewie and his family come back here and I want to show him your Lei drawings but he flips right to the page of me completely nude.”

Ben shakes his head, his lips still upturned in amusement. “Don’t worry about that. This is a new one, totally blank. It will be our secret sketchbook that I guard with my life. For our eyes only,” he assures her but she still scoffs a little.

He sits back a little, his hands holding hers, “Rey, I know you think everything I draw is amazing, but I haven’t actually had a lot of practice. I want to get better so I can draw _our lives_ better," he tells her. "I’ve read that the best way to practice is on the naked form...which you possess so perfectly,” he dives to kiss her chest as if to clarify himself.

Rey groans, “You’re such a kiss-ass.”

“You know I mean it,” he tells her honestly.

And she knows he does but hesitates still. Her hips seem bigger–softer, though not in the way she was used to. Their simple diet and chores had meant she had dropped most of the weight from her stomach but she still felt self-conscious. She looks different than she did before, her body changed so much.

She didn’t mind when she and Ben did what they usually did in the darkness of their bedroom, but to preserve it in this way makes her feel embarrassed. “Ben. Ever since I’ve had her...I’m different. I don't look the same,” she says.

Ben’s head shoots up as he realizes what she means, “Rey!” he almost scolds her for her words. “Sweetheart, look at me.” She does and he holds her gaze, “You are so beautiful–have always been beautiful. The changes that have happened since you’ve carried our daughter have only increased my fondness for your body–something I honestly didn’t think could get any higher.” Rey snorts as his hands stroke past her ribcage, his eyes drifting down as the corners of his mouth quirk up.

He clearly liked what he sees.

“And maybe it’s selfish of me, but to know that these _changes_ were from who we made together–to know that I had a part in this...” he moans as he clutches his hands to her hips, “...makes me feel like I finally did something right. I helped make something good.”

Rey melts as she sees in his eyes just how much he means that. Although she could feel it through the bond, it was just as evident in his gaze. She brushes his now shorter hair past his big ear for her to admire.

These ears that he loathes are the same that she loves so dearly.

His own physical vulnerabilities so beautiful to her. She realizes this isn’t much different than their conversation from earlier. They find so much beauty in one another, despite their personal insecurities. Insecurities that were quickly vanishing.  

“This is _definitely_ a blank sketchbook?” Rey asks him. Ben nods fervently. “And no one but you and I will ever see these?”

“No one. I promise.” She thinks of their daughter perusing their shelves in the future only to find a sketchbook filled with nude drawings of her mother. It makes her cringe just to think about but she knows Ben will keep it well guarded. That won’t happen.

Rey nods, “Okay then.”

Ben grins wide before he kisses her quickly on the mouth. He helps her out of the rest of her clothes before posing her into a position of comfort on the couch. He pulls her hair out of the braid gently as he brushes through it so it fans out in waves against the cushions.

Ben stands back to evaluate her and gulps. She looks so beautiful and he already knows that no drawing could ever do her justice.

He will try anyway.

* * *

 

Lorelei is five months old

 

Lorelei can support herself as she sits up now. She needs help getting there but is getting stronger every day. She’s also fascinated with putting nearly anything– _anything_ –in her mouth. It’s partially because she’s begun teething and she’s uncomfortable.

They give her some rings that Nurmi had supplied them with that she chews on but every so often she just whines in a new and strange kind of pain. They try to soothe her as best they can, feeling her discomfort through their bond.

But not today. Today she is all smiles and giggles as they set her up on some blankets out in the soft grass outside the homestead. It’s sunny today. A strange occurrence on Lah’mu, so they take advantage. Lorelei babbles to herself while Ben and Rey spar, trying to stay in shape. Trying to stay prepared for things they hope never come.

They remain in close range of her, even though she is always present in their minds. Her force signature hums along so well with their own.

Sparring is hardly sparring now. It probably looks more like dancing at this point. They flow together so seamlessly that even when they try to cloud their intentions, the other anticipates it. It proved to be difficult to make any progress as if their bodies were determined to only keep the other safe and move fluidly with the other.

The advantage in battle was now the downside to sparring and training. Even then though, they didn’t mind. They liked it.

Finally, they have their sabers locked as well as their eyes. Rey tries to push him back but they are interrupted though when they both hear bubbling noises that quickly erupts into a fit of giggles. They both collapse at the distraction and Ben ends up on top of Rey, their sabers deactivated as they land.

“This isn’t working,” she tells him with a smile. She pats him on the shoulder for him to roll off and he does, watching how she rises to go visit Lorelei over on the blankets.

He agrees but decides to test something. He keeps his mind quiet as he quietly charges for her. He strides to scoop her into his arms and spins her around, “Ben!” she laughs and he joins her. They nearly tumble into the ground but Ben catches them.

“Exercise is overrated anyway,” he tells her.

Lorelei, feeling her parents joy, shrieks out in giggles and Ben sets Rey back on her feet. The baby claps with enthusiasm to see her parents approaching and she flings the teething ring to the blankets. Rey picks her up and kisses her dimpled cheeks.

“Your father is an idiot, Lei, but we love him regardless,” she whispers. Rey sits on the ground with the baby in her lap. If she held her beneath her arms, she attempts to stand by pushing her feet against Rey’s legs. She’s getting stronger but it will be months before she will be able to stand on her own. Ben collapses to the grass and lays on his stomach so his face is perched right in front of Lorelei’s smiling one.

“I heard that,” he kisses the baby’s hands that are pawing away at his face.

The suns peak in through the clouds. The various shapes swirl and travel through the sky and Ben and Rey eventually lean back to watch them against the blanket, Lorelei nestled comfortably between them. Her babbling rarely ceased but they wouldn’t settle for any other noise.

“She’s so happy, isn’t she?” Rey turns to look at Ben but trails her fingers along Lorelei’s tummy, tickling her lightly. Ben’s head turns, the smile he gives her immediately answers her question.

“We all are,” he says, “Our signatures are so intertwined that she feels what we feel and we might even feel what she feels.” He props his head upon his arm as he brushes his fingers past Lei’s soft little arms. “Since we settled I’ve been happier than I ever thought possible and I’m glad she gets to feel that too.”

She knows he’s happy, but it makes her smile that he admits it to himself. She had felt it from him, could feel how happy he truly was. To hear it now from his lips makes it all the more real. She brings her hand to rest on Lei as well, her fingers brushing his across the little body between them.

“She’s so strong already. Do you think you were like this?” she asks him. He looked back and frowns in concentration.

“I don’t know. I know my mother felt my signature in the womb and knew I was force sensitive, but I wasn’t the easiest baby. Not like her. But I also don’t think they were...ready,” he brushes past Lei’s black hair. “I think that’s why I thought my father didn’t like me. I picked up on his confusion and self-doubt and thought it was something I had done, but he just didn’t know what to do.” Ben and Rey very rarely discussed Han, but ever since Lorelei was born, he seemed to dwell on his father more. Becoming a father seemed to clarify Ben’s relationship with his own.

“I didn’t think I was exactly ready either, even though I wanted us to have her so badly. But I can understand now why he was so scared. It’s kriffing terrifying. Being a dad. I don’t think I’ll ever  _not_ be scared for her but I know that she can feel how much we love her. She won’t doubt that.”

Rey maneuvered around the baby between them until she was on top of him, her face hovering over his. She kissed where his scar began, right above his brow and Ben wrapped his arms around her tightly.  Rey settled her head on his chest and shifted in the crook of his arm while his other arm pulled Lorelei onto his chest next to Rey’s face. Rey chuckles at the massive surface area of Ben’s chest and how many people could potentially fit on it.  

Lorelei attempted to crawl up to Ben’s face. She didn’t quite have it yet. She still struggled to get her arms to hold her weight, but they suspected that would soon change. They enjoyed watching her attempts though. Rey gave her a gentle push and Lorelei squealed in delight as she landed on Ben’s face. Her little hands grabbing tight to the skin of his face, unaware of the discomfort she was causing. Ben makes a funny sort of yelp and Lorelei laughs hysterically at his reaction. Rey joins her.  Ben lets her continue to trample his face, his noises getting more silly and dramatic which only intensified Lei’s happy shrieks.

* * *

 

Later that day, they loaded up into the speeder (fixed a few months ago by the nimble hands of Rey) and made for the coast that was about a ten-minute ride from the homestead. Rey drove as Ben sat on the passenger side with Lorelei in his lap. They all beamed as the wind tousled their hair and Lei enjoyed the ride. She bounced in Ben’s lap and he held her up so her legs tried to stand against his thighs.

She squealed as Rey accelerated and they went a little faster.

Lorelei loved it.

Ben notices the big grin on Rey’s face too and he already knows that when the time comes they are going to enjoy teaching Lorelei all about speeders and ships and how to fly them. She had two excellent pilots to educate her.

They arrive at the water and he sees how Rey’s eyes roam over the water in utter contentment. The suns hadn’t left the sky and they watch as they begin to set on the horizon of the water. As if they had chased it as far as they could and now they had to watch it disappear from the shore.

Ben and Rey abandon their boots so they can feel the black sand beneath their toes as they stroll closer and closer to the small waves until it hits their ankles.

Rey shivers, “It’s freezing,” she chuckles. Ben pulls her closer to the heat of his chest that she could share with him and the baby held there too. Everything else was so picturesque, but the temperature of the water was not as tolerable. 

Still, they remain as long as they can until the light dips down, night beginning to cover this part of Lah’mu. This part that was theirs.

Only theirs.

 

* * *

 

Lorelei is six months old

 

Lorelei was sitting up in a lukewarm bath as Ben and Rey gave her baby bottles with cold water in them. It had been such a long day that continued into the evening and now the late hours of the night.

When Lei woke up this morning she was sweating and her skin was burning.

They decided after a few hours of panic and an increasing temperature that they would contact Nurmi. They had discussed before how contacting Nurmi would be only for emergencies. It was risky enough to reach out to Chewie on a fairly regular basis but they were paranoid that the transmission could get picked up elsewhere.

But this was considered an emergency. They didn’t have any droid or med bay to help them and although Ben and Rey knew it was a fever, they could not sense what caused it. They did not know how to help her.

Nurmi did though. They called her and asked her frantic questions about what they should do. Nurmi, having to deal with nervous parents all her life, assured them the best thing they could do first was relax which was easier said than done. They achieved something resembling calm after some deep breaths and assurances that everything was most likely fine. 

Nurmi then told them to run her a bath and to give her plenty of fluids. They would have to resort to more traditional remedies from their lack of medical advancements.  

They thanked her and told her they might call her back soon if anything changed. That was hours ago though. Lorelei wasn’t crying but she wasn’t sleeping either. Her energy felt so strange, and the fever hadn’t broken yet.

“Why does she feel like this?” Rey asks Ben.

“I don’t know. It’s almost like something’s _blocked_. It’s like when she’s trying to poop but she can’t.”

Rey laughs for the first time that day. It was a surprisingly accurate analogy. “I wish it was poop,” there’s a sentence Rey never thought she would say. “I don’t like dealing with unknowns.” She runs the cloth in the water before running it past Lei’s forehead again. Still so warm. The bath beginning to have a chill that wouldn’t offer comfort.

“The water is getting too cold” As much as Rey wanted the fever to go down, she didn't want Lei to sit miserably in freezing water. She wanted it well regulated. “Why don’t we just let her relax for a bit and then we’ll try again?” Rey suggests.

“Yeah. She’s got to be exhausted by now,” Ben moves from where he was slumped on the toilet seat, grabbing a towel and picking up the little girl who hadn’t slept in hours, almost as long as her parents.

Her little whimpers pick up again and he shushes her, “It’s alright, shhh...I got you.” Rey helps him get the towel around the wet baby. She could feel how exhausted they all were, but Ben knew he wouldn’t be getting any sleep until Lorelei felt better. He was so concerned and she holds a hand to his arm for a moment before he leaves the fresher.

They don’t say anything. They don’t need to though. Ben kisses her brow softly and moves to the bedroom as Rey drains the bath.

Lei’s body heat sinks into Ben’s hands once again and he winces. How could someone so small feel hotter than a furnace? He situates her on the bed and kneels so his face is at her height. Her eyes droop but never close and he sighs, “What’s bugging you, Lei?”

This is the first time that neither he or Rey can sense, remedy, or completely understand how to help their daughter. It makes everything before this seem so easy. She was such a well-tempered baby, but now that their bond with her wasn’t giving them answers they realize just how smooth everything was before.

Not to mention she was also in the middle of teething, the ache of her mouth bombarding her as well.

Ben kisses her red cheeks, “I’m sorry, Lei. I know this isn't fun.” His fingers play with her hands and he smiles as she brings them to her mouth. He feels a tiny tooth bite down on his skin but he ignores the small pinch if it meant Lorelei felt any amount of relief.

Rey walks in a moment later and kneels down beside Ben and places her face before Lorelei’s own. “What about a story?” she suggests, “Maybe that can get her to sleep. Some rest will do her good.”

Ben nods, leaning his head against her shoulder, “Yeah. I’ll try anything.”

Rey comes back a moment later with a book from the toybox. The one about the Ewoks that Lorelei seemed to like the colors of. _Fuzzy Ewoks_ was its title.

Ben picks up the baby and lays back on the bed with her in the crook of his arm. She would sleep with them tonight. That is, of course, only if she would sleep at all.

Rey lays back too and Ben leans into her, placing Lei in between them so she can see the pictures. Rey reads the story anyway, anxious to focus on anything but the fever of their daughter.

 _“Fuzzy Ewok. Nice Ewok. Happy Ewok…”_ The content was a little repetitive, especially after being read time after time.

After Rey read through the book the fourth time, she looks over to see Lei’s eyes are closed and Ben’s are threatening to do the same. Still, his voice rumbles low, “Rey?”

“Hmm?”

“She’ll be okay, right?”

Rey gives him a sad smile, “She’ll be fine. It’s like Nurmi said; babies get fevers and colds and everything ends up normal. Even if this doesn’t feel normal.”

Rey turns off the light and puts the storybook on the side table. Ben pulls her closer with his free arm and they doze off within minutes. Exhausted from their day of worry.

* * *

 

Rey wakes up to Lorelei squeaking. Not her tears. Rey smiles to see her baby is sitting up against the wall of Ben’s chest who was still out cold. Rey presses the back of her hand to feel against Lei’s forehead, drastically cooler than when she went to bed. Rey lets out a sigh of relief. She was feeling better.

“Gah-gngh” she slaps the pages of the book balanced on her chubby legs. Rey smiles at her before realizing the Ewok story was in her lap. The one Rey placed on the side table before falling asleep. She knows Ben didn’t pass it to her because he’s still dead asleep.

“Where did you get this, Lei?” Rey asks the baby, not expecting a response but wishing for one.

Lorelei looks up at her mother, eyes wide and free of the tears that they awoke to yesterday. Rey leans forward and presses a kiss to her dimpled cheeks, “You scared us, baby.” She whispers and runs her hands past her little back, the fever now gone.

Lorelei claps her hands together, rejoiced and her bouncing makes Ben stir suddenly, “M’ up!” he announces, “I’m up.”

Rey doesn’t bother to say good morning. She’s too focused on Lorelei’s smile, “Ben, feel her.”

Taking note of her cheeks, not near as red as they were before he places a hand on Lorelei’s back and he slumps against the pillows in relief. “Thank the stars,” he pulls her against him again, placing her on his chest as she continues to bounce, “Where’d she get so much energy? Is this literally an overnight transformation.” Lorelei smacks her hands against him and kicks her feet to a rhythm only she can hear.

Rey laughs but quickly notices the book on the bed. The pages were fluttering. The corners looked like they were...bouncing.

Ben kisses Lei’s cheeks, “Don’t get me wrong, I’d take this over what happened yesterday-” Ben starts to say when Rey cuts him off.

“Do you see that?” Rey asks him, eyes focused on the open book.

“What?” Ben tenses a little as he sits up, worried again by Rey’s tone. Lorelei stops her antics and the book’s pages fall back down.

Rey starts to see the connection. Rey smiles, “Ben, make her laugh.”

“What?” he asks confused.

“Make her laugh. I want to see something.”

Ben doesn't hesitate. He brings Lei up to his face and blows against her tummy, the noise earning them an earful of hysterical giggles. Lorelei’s legs kick in excitement and Rey’s eyes shoot back down. The pages are fluttering in the same pattern.

“Ben, watch.” Ben looks down just as the pages fall again with the fading giggles.

They needed more laughter. “Pass her to me,” Rey holds out her arms and takes Lorelei from Ben.

With Lei on her back, Rey’s face hovers above her tummy prepared to do the same as Ben had, “Keep your eyes on the book.” And then Rey dives for the soft skin and Lei erupts into laughter once more, her arms and legs bouncing in the same pattern as the book.

Ben gasps, “Holy shit,” he whispers. Rey snickers as he instantly wedges himself beside Rey, pulling the book closer to the baby. “Rey...she’s-”

“I know. I think this is what caused the fever. I think this is what she was trying to tell us.” She carries on by tickling Lorelei’s sides, still trying to get the same reaction out of her.

“I didn’t know it could start this early,” Ben says, his eyes wide in awe as he looks back and forth between the book and the baby. He flips through the pages as they dance around his fingers, “Amazing…” he says softly.

After a few minutes, it seems like she’s tired herself out a bit. Apparently, just the interaction with the book had drained her of energy. They were going to have to help her conserve herself in the future. It was primarily their fault that she’s so tired now. They just wanted to see more of it. Her eyelashes flutter as she hiccups and with it, _Fuzzy Ewok_ finally snaps shut, earning a chuckle from her parents.

Rey sets her back down in the crib and they can feel how she slips into a deep and content sleep. Whatever hurdle yesterday had been, she had gotten over it–all by herself. They were so proud.

She was so strong.

As much as it made Ben’s heart soar, his mind couldn’t help but feel all the more worried. He had no idea she would have an awakening so early. He had been maybe six when he could finally get objects to respond to him, even then it was strained until Luke taught him a few things. Obviously, Rey’s awakening only stirred after she met him.

Their daughter, however, was beginning at six months old. It was terrifying.

They would need to teach her control, difficult considering she was still a baby. They would have to regulate her mind, keep her within her limits so she doesn’t hurt herself. The thought that someone else might want her for her power made Ben’s mind rage.

_“They want her…”_

Those were Maz’s words when she spoke of the decrees Hux had made. As much as the galaxy wanted Rey and himself dead, they wanted Lorelei so they could turn her. They wanted to make her the next Vader...the next _Kylo Ren._

Ben shudders so hard that Rey feels it within her own body. His thoughts spearing through her own.

_They want her. They want her. They want her. I won’t let them._

Rey reaches for him, her palm finding its place on his cheek as always. Her thumb brushes past his chin and Rey admires for a moment the scruff of the beard still growing there. “We won’t. We will monitor her mind. When she’s old enough we will teach her how to control herself.”

“I was never good at controlling myself. How can I teach her that?” he asks her.

Rey answers back, “On the contrary, I think you would make a wonderful teacher on the subject. You’ve lost control yourself so you know what it feels like. You can help her from feeling how you felt when you were lost. You and I will be there for her.”

Ben nods. Her words washing over them in the calming nature that they usually held and he relaxes again. He pulls her into him, hugging her close. Glad that they overcame the fears of yesterday and were now confronting today's where they stood.

“Let’s get cleaned up and let her rest for a while,” Rey says. “We can take some time to recharge ourselves.” Rey had meant this as actual rest but Ben seems to consider something else.

“Can we draw?” Ben asks and Rey smiles. When he says " _we"_ he really asks if he can draw while she lays reclined on something completely bare.

“Of course. You’re not too tired?”

“No. I feel jittery.” Rey takes his hands in hers. She knew whenever she let him draw her he became completely focused on the contours of her form. All light and darks and lines translated on to paper. Something he could control. She could tell he needed this.

“Then drawing it is.” She pulls him to the fresher though with a knowing smirk, “After we take a shower.”

Ben has no objections to that.

* * *

 

Chewie showed up the next day with an advanced medpac under his arm, prepared to rip it open and aid the sick baby. Nurmi had contacted Maz who then contacted Chewie. The wookiee was alone this time but was an absolute wreck until he could see for himself that Lorelei was feeling much better. He slumped against the couch, placing the medpac on the ground and groaning in relief.

They explained to him what happened and of course, Chewie wanted to see her in action.

Ben and Rey didn't really want to push it though. They didn't want her to overexert herself. Just flipping pages of _Fuzzy Ewok_ made her drowsy. Chewie was very understanding of that. He was more than happy to take their word for it but sadly couldn’t stay long. Only a day or two but more than enough time to make Lorelei fall in love with him all over again. She slept so well in his arms.

As usual, he brought more things and they realized they were running out of room in their small homestead for the girl who was growing in so many ways. They decide they need to prioritize so Rey packs up some of the onesies that no longer fit their daughter and places them in the trunk, replacing them with the ones she has yet to grow into.

Rey is on her knees in front of the dresser with tears in her eyes. She pulls out each one and holds it to her face, inhaling their scent. They were clothes that only fit for a short period of time but already she had to say goodbye to them. Ben finds her like this. Red eyes and hands full of baby clothes.

“Rey?” He joins her on the floor. He already knows why she’s upset.

“It’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not,” he tells her. He runs his hands past the fabric as well, remembering when Lorelei wore them only a few months ago. “They seem like pieces of her that we have to let go of when she’s still so small.”

Rey doesn’t know how he managed to verbalize it so well. She’s been so frustrated and didn't know why. She’s never been attached to clothes before. That had changed though. It really began with the black maternity dresses Ben made for her in secret. It continued tenfold with the clothes of their daughter. To know these clothes fit her, they kept her warm and snug. And they were just cute. Rey didn’t know clothes could be cute before this.

“I know the clothes are leaving, but she isn’t. She here and she’s not going anywhere,” Ben tells her and she instantly crawls into his lap, just hugging him tightly.

“I love you...a lot.”

Ben laughs, “I love you a lot too.”

* * *

 

Chewie is granted with one of Lorelei’s little force displays the night before he leaves. They are all scattered out on the collection of blankets on the floor of the living room. It was more of a nest at this point, on its way to becoming a fort.

Chewie had her propped up on the cushions of the couch while he hid Captain Kriffie behind his back.

She would clap and bounce when he revealed it but frown whenever it seemingly disappeared behind the wookiee. Ben and Rey smiled at her confusion. She was working things out. She caught on so fast.

Chewie moans, “Where did it go?” he asks her before pulling it around again, “Here he is!” she giggles ferociously, her little hands reaching for the doll and it instantly arrives in her grasp.

Chewie lets out a small shriek as he looks to his empty hand and the baby now clutching the toy. “I didn’t-” he stammers before realization hits him, “Did she?”

Rey laughs at him, “Yep,” Ben answers.

Chewie watches Lorelei in newfound awe, “That’s insane. You couldn’t do that when you were this size,” Chewie recalls as he looks back to Ben.

“Well, she’s rather gifted. She decided to start early and give us a heart attack in the process,” he says jokingly now but that fever really had scared them.

“No kidding…” Chewie holds a hand to his chest, still startled by the baby who had no idea the pull she had on everyone in the room as she babbled on to Captain.

She was having a conversation of her own and they all watched in quiet fondness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after reading Leia, I'm convinced that she would have taught Ben about all the different Alderaan "braiding" customs. I think I touched on this a little in the prologue but I love this idea so much. Honestly, if I'm having a rough day, I just think about Ben's big meaty claws pawing through Rey's hair and I can breathe again. 
> 
> I'm also an art hoe who needs to see Ben Solo sketch his space wife in da nude!!!
> 
> Fuck, my brain is one big trash compactor.


	19. Home | Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lorelei 7-8 months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone that is spending their Halloween knee deep in fanfiction...this is for you. I'm in my room all night because I'm trying to keep my dog out of earshot of the doorbell. 
> 
> I love you all dearly!!

_Lorelei is seven months old:_

It was dinner time but Ben and Rey had yet to eat. They were occupied getting Lorelei fed first.

They had been introducing more solid foods to her lately. An addition spurred by the arrival of teeth. Chewie had brought a massive supply of baby food last time and it was an interesting collection of mush in various flavors. They realized quickly enough that jogan fruit was Lei’s favorite.

Lorelei gave a soft coo along with a slight smile, recognizing the flavor as the one she liked, “Yummy, huh?” Rey says to her. Said smile, however, made it difficult to keep the food inside her mouth and not on her face.

Ben held Lorelei around her middle while they had her sit on the edge of the table. He would keep her back supported and to keep her from moving around while Rey fed her with a spoon. They didn’t have a high chair so it was really the best they could do.

Rey made funny faces as she tried to mimic the motion that she wanted Lorelei to copy as she fed her the spoonfuls. They had found that she tended to copy them when they made the biggest fools of themselves. Of course, they didn’t mind, but they always teased the other who held the duty for the day. Today was no exception as Ben laughed, especially once Rey accidentally got baby food on her own face.

Lorelei’s head turns at her father’s laugh. She reaches for his face, her little fingers dancing over his grin, traveling to brush his goatee. 

Rey waits with her arm extended with a spoon full of jogan fruit surprise, “Lei,” she calls to her. Instantly, her head turns back to her mother, mouth open and ready for more. She knew her name now, or at least when they called her by her nickname.

One of her little hands is still holding on to Ben’s face, the tiny fist now gripping his hair tightly and he winces as he tries to pry her hands free. “Lei, that hurts daddy. Try to go easy on his face, he’s only got the one,” Rey says.

Ben laughs. “ _Go easy on my face_? You’re one to talk,” he gestures to the scar that runs down his features. Rey helps Lorelei finish off what was in the bowl as she looks to the shining traces of silver and pink that are forever embedded into his skin. Her handiwork.

She knows he’s just kidding. He loves his scar as he has admitted to her many times before...and Rey can’t help but agree with him. Her gesture of tracing it with her fingers or lips was always so meaningful to both of them.

“It makes you look all the more daring,” Rey reminds him.

“What? That I _dared_ to piss you off?” he asks her and Rey gives a real laugh. That was actually not an exaggeration.

Rey cleans off Lorelei’s cheeks until the pink jam-like substance is free from her skin. Ben wipes away the smeared food on Rey’s own cheek with his thumb. He brings it to his mouth, tasting it, “Mmm...it’s _almost_ good,” he twists his face. As if altering the position of his mouth would enhance the flavor.

Rey smirks. She wipes food off of Lei’s cheeks and tastes for herself. Rey wasn’t picky, but she did have to say that after discovering so many new flavors, especially with Ben’s more _refined_ palate, the food was rather plain.

“Still, she loves it.” Rey cleans the baby’s face and picks her up from Ben’s lap. She sets her down in the den where they’ve created a rather elaborate fort. Lorelei rejoices at the sight of her toys as Rey sets her on the blankets.

A faint chirp comes from the transceiver in the kitchen. They don’t tense up as much as they used to but the thought that it could always be _bad_ news would never fade. Rey looks at Ben and he rises to accept the call.

He recognizes the contact number, “It’s Nurmi,” he says in relief and activates the camera on the small screen.

“Ben, my dear. Good to see you!”

“You too,” he says honestly. Rey comes to stand next to him and she greets her as well.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you but I just wanted to check in with everything and make sure she was still feeling better,” says Nurmi.

“You’re not disturbing anything,” Rey assures her. “She just had some more of that  jogan fruit mush she loves.”

“And no return of the fever?”

“Nope,” They both answer.  
“What a relief. I’m sorry. I have never tended to a force sensitive child before and I couldn’t help but be a little paranoid.”

Ben looks over the counter to watch Lorelei babbling to her toys, “We know how you feel.”

Nurmi gives a sad kind of smile. She was just glad to see them again. She knew she would sleep better that night with the image of the young couple standing together. It had been about two weeks since her last inquiry with them. She was relieved when they told her the fever had passed and with it, the arrival of something Nurmi actually had no advice for.

 _The force_.

“Well, as usual, I don’t want to take too long. You know, _paranoid_. As always, do not hesitate to call me with anything!”

“Will do. Thank you, Nurmi!” Rey says earnestly.

They say their goodbyes and the old togruta woman fades from the screen.

 

* * *

 

_Lorelei is eight months old:_

Ben rushes over to catch Lorelei as she crawls for the fresher. He scoops her up, “Damn, she’s getting so fast.”

Crawling was new. It only started about a week ago, and already Lorelei seemed to get where she needed to go in record time. Combined with her new force abilities, they were keeping an extra close eye on her.

All of this exercise though meant Lorelei was exhausted by the end of the day and was sleeping like a rock. They took the opportunity to play with her a lot in the evenings so she would be more than ready for bed.

So, they made great use of the fort they had constructed in the living room. Ben and Rey had decided to keep it up, rather liking how cozy it made everything. It made things look a little wild but it wasn’t like they had a lot of visitors. Their main guest was a wookiee and Chewie would likely embrace the comfortable nature of their home.

That evening they play with Lorelei while she tries to make few laps around the room. She laughed hysterically as Ben pretended to chase after her only causing her to go faster. She stumbled several times and would fall over her arms that couldn’t hold her up after so much exertion but it never broke her spirit.

The grin hardly left her face and her giggles were constantly filling the air.

At one point she turned around and sat up to look for her parents who were hiding behind the cushions of the fort they constructed.

“Gah!” she exclaims as if to call for them. She turns her head all around, searching for them, “Gwah gah ba!”

Rey nearly collapses from where she’s crouched on the floor. Lei actually sounds irritated that she can’t find them and it’s hilarious.

 _Distract her,_  Rey hears Ben’s voice in her thoughts. She feels him leave her side to crawl behind the couch, clear of sight from the baby as he attempts to sneak up on her. Rey tries to deliver on her part. She creeps forward until she catches Lorelei’s eyes.

The little girl beams, glad to have found her mother and she begins to move forward. She stumbles as she crawls closer and Rey can see Ben emerge from the behind the couch, quietly sneaking up on her.

Ben watches as his daughter grunts, trying to gain speed. He could feel she was getting tired but still determined to make her way to Rey. He decides he will give her a break so she doesn’t have to trek the whole way.

He dives and throws himself in her path and she shrieks in delight to see him. She starts to stampede over his face, drool smearing all over him but he hardly notices, too transfixed by the smile that is almost permanently on her face. He scoops her up, kissing her dimpled cheeks. She squeals as he bounces her up and down on their way back to Rey. “There’s mommy,” Ben says as he deposits the baby into Rey’s arms and he watches as Lorelei snuggles against her.

The braided updo that Ben had done for her earlier that day was a complete mess after hiding in the fort. Rey looks now to the floor littered with blankets and cushions but she could not think of a better way to destroy their living room.

Ben just watches them quietly. Rey was such a caring mother. She was so nurturing and devoted to anything and everything her family needed. Ben still doesn’t know how he could possibly ever deserve this. _His family_. He’s sure they were meant for someone better than himself but he belongs to them. They hold his heart and keep it beating. And as he watches Lei begin to doze off against Rey’s shoulder, he feels so blissfully complete.

He summons his sketchbook and as usual tells Rey, "This one will be quick, don't move." Rey rolls her eyes but truly doesn't mind. She loved how he could preserve these moments for them. Even if he usually said it would be quick and it resulted in several sketches and various angles. 

As Ben depicts Rey and his daughter as best he can he feels so at ease. He feels more like himself than he's ever felt since they've come to Lah'mu. Ben thinks this is who he was always meant to be. Maybe all of this was always meant to happen.

He never wants this to stop and he fears for the day that it could all be ripped away from him. But he doesn’t want to miss these moments while he’s shrouded in fear. He wants to remember these quiet moments always, with love. So Ben swallows those anxieties for now. For now, and for as long as he can because he wants to just be Ben Solo who lives his life among the two people he loves more than anything.

The Solos.

It makes him consider how Rey has yet to officially become a Solo. He plans to rectify that immediately.

 

* * *

 

A while later, he and Rey are in their own bed. Her back is against his chest and he has an arm wrapped around her stomach. His lips brush along the nape of her neck as he speaks softly to her, “We should get married.”

Rey chuckles as if she thinks he’s joking. He holds her tighter to him, “I mean it.”

“I know you did, I just...I thought we already were, in a way,” she says. “We have a bond that the force forged for us. We live in solitude on a desolate planet where we raise our daughter. I would definitely consider you mine as much as I am yours. I figured we were married.”

He understands what she’s saying, but maybe she doesn’t realize why he wants this. He would have wanted to get married immediately after they reconnected, after his mother passed. He knew from that moment on that Rey was a someone he would forever want in his life.

Hell, he's always known.

The dreams he had as a boy of a young woman roaming the sands always comforting to him in his youth. To know all this time he had been dreaming of Rey.

But things were difficult. It wasn’t like he could do what his grandparents did on Naboo. They were two of the most recognizable people in the galaxy. Meeting planetside for a few days somewhere was risky enough.

He would have married her when she was pregnant, but they could only see each other through the bond. The bond was unpredictable and hardly the grounds that such a ceremony could be conducted through. Not when other people had to be present and Ben was just relieved to have her in his arms again.

He wasn’t exactly in a sharing mood during those months. He took everything she would give him in their moments together, knowing their time was brief.

He remembers for a moment just how scary that had been. All those sleepless nights in his quarters as he thought of Rey and their unborn baby. The stress would eat him alive at night as he would either turn restlessly in his sheets or pace the steel floors for hours, fraught with worry. They were so far from his reach.

But now they were together. Now they had time, and he wanted to do this. He wanted them to belong to each other in every possible way. “I know we are connected in all the ways no one ever has been...but I still want to call you my wife. I want you to be _Rey Solo_.”

Rey gasps. _Rey Solo. A name._ It was something she’s forgotten she’s always wanted. She understands what he’s getting at. 

She knew whatever ceremony he had in mind it would likely be here. It would have to be. But they could get Chewie and his family to come. Maybe Maz. They could find a way to make it work.

Rey turns in his arms so she’s facing him. “I’d like to be Rey Solo.”

Ben smiles, “I’d like that too. _Love it_ , actually.”

“I could finally match my husband and my daughter,” Rey says, reminded that Lei was really Lorelei Solo. A thought that makes her heart feel full. Her daughter had a last name and it was hers. Her name wouldn’t be stripped from her the way that Rey’s identity was taken when she was abandoned. Perhaps Rey hadn’t even been her birth name.

Ben shudders at her words, “ _Husband_ ,” he repeats quietly. He was not prepared for the effect the word would have on him. He pulls her closer and her legs hooks over his side. “I would be your husband...and you would be my _wife_.” He kisses her jaw, slowly making his way down her neck.

“I like the sound of that,” Rey says as she rolls on top of him, her legs straddling his hips.

Ben moans as he moves his hands to her hips and he just looks into her eyes from where she was perched above him, “I’m sorry it took so long, sweetheart,” he tells her. He wishes this was a conversation they could have had three years ago.

“Don’t be,” Rey tells him, “we couldn’t have managed it. Things were too intense. Besides I’m glad we can do it now. Lei can be there.”

Their daughter will be there. Lorelei will know that her parents love each other, eternally. Something Ben could never be sure of with his own parents. He could never be sure if they loved each other or if they just enjoyed irritating the other.

He and Rey were different. From anyone that has loved before, they were different. They were so connected and so intertwined when surrounded by the other. 

Ben sits up so he can hold her face in his hands. They can get married in the privacy of their home, of Lah’mu. Ben isn’t sure when. He will arrange what he can with Chewie when he comes back.

“I love you,” he tells her for what must be the millionth time. The words never fail to make his heart speed up as he looks at her and she returns his words.

“I love you.” The words do the same thing to Rey. He can feel it from her side of the bond. For so many years, they both yearned for something like this. Rey waited her whole life for someone that never came, unknowing of what love could really be like. And Ben, he didn't think he would ever be capable of loving anyone, anything. He thought the chance was gone for him since he was a child. When he thought his parents didn't love him, he convinced himself no one could. But he had been wrong.

He is loved. Has always been loved. 

Ben thinks that without love, he would be a strange shadow of himself. Who would he be if not for love? It scares him to consider. To think that Kylo Ren could have really killed him. To think if things had gone differently.

Were it not for Rey's love, where would he be?

Those thoughts are pushed away as she presses her lips to his and they get lost in each other once again.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Rey is apologizing to Lei as it seems they have finally run out of the jogan fruit flavored baby food. “We’ll have to call Chewie and ask for more when he comes back. For now, I’m afraid we have to settle for Manak flavored mush,” she says.

Ben groans as he recalls the first time they tried this one. Lorelei didn’t like it at all and he didn’t blame her. He wasn’t even that big of a fan of Manak leaves when they weren’t reduced to baby food.

Lei is not pleased.

She swats away at the spoon that is insistent to get in her mouth. Ben wielded the spoon today and Rey held fast to Lorelei’s middle. Still, she wrangles to get free and to distance herself from the incoming utensil.

He begs, “Please baby, just a few bites and then we can play,” he promises.

She frowns and Ben’s frustrations are eased slightly as he looks at her. Her brows drawn together the way they are. Her bottom lip curled in defiance. It was familiar.

“She looks like you when she’s annoyed,” he says to Rey. Rey looks at him, a frown forming on her face and creating a perfect replica of the smaller one beside her.

“If I’m ever annoyed it’s only because of you,” she says back to him.

“And yet..." Ben replies slowly as he finally manages to get a spoonful in the baby’s mouth, "you’re never really annoyed.”

“Well I am now,” she jokes half-heartedly, the frown defeated by the smirk that takes its place. “But it might just be coming from her. She’s so ticked off.”

“I know. I just hope she forgives me after this.”

He tries again to bring the spoon to her lips but she swats it away and this time it flicks to the floor. She seems awfully proud of herself but Rey summons the spoon to her hand. “Don’t think you’re off the hook young lady. We have more than one spoon,” she tells her and Lorelei looks up to her mother.

“Let me get another one,” Ben rises to go to the drawer where they kept the kitchenware but he sets the jar down on the counter for a moment to wipe his hands free of the mush that had dripped on to his skin. He digs through the drawer for a second before he feels something strange course through his daughter behind him.

Rey feels it too but isn’t sure what it is at first. “Ben?” she asks and they just watch her for a moment as she’s completely transfixed by the jar on the counter. They think of stopping her, but both are equally curious to see what she will do.

Ben is about to grab the jar and halt her attempts after a long moment but instantly, the green mush all but explodes from the jar and splatters all over the counter.

Lorelei rejoices, "Bah!" while Ben and Rey just look at the mess she’s made.

She's never done anything that big before.

“I umm… I think this is the part where we tell her not to do stuff like that. Honestly though, I’m really damn impressed.”

Rey gives a slight laugh as she gazes back at the baby, “What are we going to do with you?” she asks. “I guess we will settle for cereal then. We should call Chewie and ask if he can get some more food from Nurmi.”

“Yeah I’ll-” Ben looks to the transceiver and freezes. It was coated in Manak slime and flickering, sputtering from where the baby food must have gotten lodged inside the mechanisms. “Shit,” Ben whispers.

This transceiver was old and small, but it was their most convenient form of communication with their handful of friends on the outside. It was essentially a lifeline. “Damn it. Maybe I should go check the ship. Chewie put a lot of back up parts in there.”

“Don’t do it now, it’s pouring. Wait until it dies down,” she tells him and he supposes it can wait. “Here,” Rey passes him the baby, “why don't you feed her some of the dry food she likes and I'll clean this up.”

They were definitely going to have to teach Lorelei to control herself.

 

* * *

 

It's still pouring by the evening and Ben has yet to venture out. Instead, they spend their night similar to how they spent the night before; among the blankets of the makeshift obstacles they've created in the living room.  This time Rey and Lorelei hide behind some cushions together while Ben pretends he can’t find them.

“I smell a baby!” Ben growls, “I love to eat babies. The cuter they are the better they taste!” he says in a ridiculous voice. They know Lorelei has no idea what he's saying but she's laughing hysterically.

Lorelei wiggles in her mother’s arms while Ben tries to break into the cushions and blankets they are huddled under, “I'm gonna find her! I'm going to find her!” he bellows.

Ben rips the blanket off the top exposing Rey and the baby to the light of the room and towers over them, “There she is!”

“It’s daddy!” Rey says.

“Dada!” Lorelei beams.

Rey gasps, looking at the baby on her lap. Her arms are reached out to Ben and she bounces on Rey’s legs as if she could jump up to him. The little toys scattered on the floor bounce along with her in a similar fashion from her excitement.

She had just said called his name, her first word.

She doesn’t seem to realize what it has done to her parents as she thinks they are still playing.

Rey looks up at Ben who seems to have completely forgotten his role as a baby eater. She feels how full his heart was in that moment as he gives a shaky laugh. He kneels to the floor and Rey can see how glassy his eyes are. She passes the little girl to him who he takes in shaky but strong hands, “Hi, Lei,” he says.

It’s something he’s said countless times but it sounds different now. He never expected a response before but he gets one anyway.

“Dada. Da da da da,” she babbles off but it remains in the formation of his name, or at least her name for him.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he breathes out. His voice sounds so quiet and he feels tears threaten to spill over.

He looks to Rey for a moment to find she is in a similar state. She’s got a big grin across her face and wet tracks racing down her cheeks.

Little hands wander around his face so close to hers and he holds her tighter. “I love you, Lorelei. So much. So much,” he tells her, pressing kisses into her hair. Lorelei bounces and giggles on, wanting to keep playing and confused why her parents have stopped their antics.

Ben lets her wiggle out of his arms as she ventures over to grab Captain Kriffie. She must have decided she would play with someone else for now.

Rey, however, moves to wrap her arms around Ben, feeling how much this has impacted him and letting him lean into her.

“That's my new favorite thing,” she tells him.

“Me too. Damn…” he breathes out. He gives himself a moment to let it sink in. Lei continues to babble to Kriffie but he watches her from where his head is buried in Rey's hair.

“Dada gah ba da!” she says to them as she passes them the tooka doll. As if she's reminding them that this was still play time.

“Yes! Sorry, we're still playing,” Rey tells her as she moves away from Ben to engage the baby by speaking animatedly to the doll. It sparks the conversation between Lorelei, Kriffie and herself, even though none of them are really speaking the same language.

Ben joins them, transfixed. 

 

* * *

 

A short while later, Lorelei begins to tire out and they watch as she all but collapses on the floor, totally asleep. Ben and Rey drown in the absolute adorable nature of their baby, her soft little snores so sweet. Ben moves over to carefully scoop her off the floor and carry her into the bedroom.

He eyes the crib but doesn't place her down. “Can she sleep with us tonight?” He wants her close.

Rey smiles at him, “Yeah. I'd like that. She made a mess of the kitchen earlier but I think all is forgiven.”

Ben smiles as he eases back on the bed with Lorelei on his chest and Rey pulled into his side. He had forgotten about that. He had been so consumed by the events of the last hour or so.

She said his name. His name only for her. Her first word.

He feels like he's been in a trance.

He knew of course that he was a father and knew that he loved being a father despite his many fears regarding the title. But for some reason, hearing it come from Lorelei made it seem all the more real and it’s like his heart is too full.

He thinks of the life he had before all this. When his days didn’t begin by waking up in a bed he shared with Rey, in a room they shared with their daughter, in a home they have made their own.

How did he possibly live before this?

His sleepless nights in his quarters of the First Order seem all the more agonizing to look back on, knowing what his past self had been deprived of. His family and his home

“Thank you, Rey,” Ben says quietly into the room,

He feels Rey smile against his chest, “For what?”

He answers honestly, and so readily with these words that were entirely for her and for her only. “For loving me and keeping me. For having _her_. This is everything I never knew I needed and it's only because of you.”

“Ben,” Rey sits up to look at his face. Silent tears fall from his eyes into his hair but the smile is constant.

“Thank you, Rey,” he whispers again. He wants her to know that this is all he needs. If they eat nothing but Lah’mu crops harvested poorly by his limited farming skills for the rest of his days then so be it. He was with his people who loved him and he loved back more than anything. More than he thinks anyone has ever loved before.

“Thank _you_ ,” Rey whispers now and Ben looks at her curiously for a moment. “You gave her to me as much as I gave her to you. You love me and keep me too. You gave me a family.” She kisses his face, tasting the salt of his tears. “I love you, Ben.”

“I love you,” he whispers. He strains his neck from where he lays, cautious of the sleeping baby on his chest. Rey meets him over half way and presses her lips against his. It is sweet and chaste but Rey moves further up his face, kissing his scar beneath his eye like she always does.

She descends to rest her head on his shoulder, soon finding sleep against the man who had given her everything. The man she gave everything in return.

Rey and Lorelei’s signatures beat steadily against Ben’s own, the patter of the storm outside a gentle rhythm against the roof. Thoughts of his family occupy Ben's mind until sleep overcomes him, still with a smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

If only Ben knew what tomorrow would bring then perhaps he would not have found sleep so easily.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blerg! 
> 
> I'm sorry to say that there is no Part IV to the 'Home' chapters. It seems so mean to end on that note and I know you're probably going to kill me for that last bit. 
> 
> *Flynn Ryder/Eugene Fitzherbert voice* And in that moment, everything was perfect. And then that moment ended...


	20. Scourge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xid has some severe emotional issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is kind of the true beginning of the shit storm. We return to Batuu and unfortunately, things do not end well. 
> 
> This one is really short and a little intense.
> 
> P.S. Thank you so much for the love last chapter. You are all amazing!!!

 

Eight months. It’s been eight months and still nothing.

Xid and Soldar had been on Batuu for the past five of those months after Xid figured some quiet would work to their benefit.

They remained a fair distance from Black Spire but still, they ventured there often, blending in among the muck that riddled the streets. Today Xid wandered further west while Soldar went east. Invading wandering thoughts and eyes for their fugitives. Or as of late, more test subjects. They had worked these previous months in expanding their minds. And the exercise had become rather enjoyable.

They had been practicing these talents on the stumbling drunkards that this planet had more than plenty to offer. They would drag some incoherent fool back to their hidden camp and dig into their minds. Torture them. Prod further and further until every pathetic thought and memory was theirs.

They had gotten rather skilled at it. Neither of them was as progressed in that nature of the force before. Not as much as Kylo. Kylo was always the strongest among them but after these months of training, Xid was inclined to think their abilities rivaled his. Especially his months of hiding and secrecy may have kept him out of practice.

Digging and prodding into the minds of countless cretins was how they prepared themselves. Unfortunately, of all the drunkards and scum they none of these claimed minds had anything of use to them. But Xid knew one of these days, they would find the right one and their minds would be ready.

Xid wanders still, lurking around corner after corner. It seemed as if today would be another failed attempt and he finds himself searching instead for scum rats he could delve into, abduct the very soul out of to aid his powers. The more he practiced, the more likely he could find himself destroying Kylo and the girl when they found them. 

Because he _would_ find them. He _had_ to find them before anyone else if he was to avoid looking like a fool when they returned to the First Order.

Xid stalks past the landing pad. He waits at the main entrance, scanning over thoughts and emotions. He doesn’t expect much. Usually, he senses the minds of pilots looking for alcohol and pleasurable company.

Today, he hears something else.

 _Where did he say to turn once we left the ship?_ Xid hears the voice of a man.

 _I think Chewie said head west. She lives on the outskirts,_ a woman responds.

Xid opens his eyes, desperately seeking the owner of these voices. _Chewie?_ Was that not the foolish pet name given to that filthy wookiee? The one that aids the girl.

He pinpoints the voices that belong to two humans, walking for the outpost with a trunk held between them. Xid shadows them but remains far enough away that they do not notice him.

Xid realizes he recognizes the man. He is the traitor that fled the First Order so long ago now. He was the one that had forsaken his training to save that obnoxious pilot. The same man who later came to Starkiller to rescue Kylo's whore. 

How interesting...

“Shit, this thing is heavy. Aren’t there just baby clothes in this thing?” the man says now.

_Baby clothes?_

“I would think so. It's locked though. This Nurmi woman probably has a key,” the woman says.

 _Nurmi?_ Why did that sound so familiar? Xid reaches back, further into his own mind until he realizes the name belonged to his own memories.

 _Nurmi_. The midwife woman he questioned when they first came to Batuu from the claim of that bulbous drunkard. He feels a smirk overcome his features.

Perhaps today would be the day after all. He brings his wrist to his face, speaking into the communicator there, “Soldar, I believe I may have solved our little problem.”

* * *

Finn and Rose stomp through the streets of Batuu, each holding the end of a trunk. Corner after corner comes and goes as they keep searching for their destination and it seemed to take forever. It was likely the weight of their cargo that made it feel longer than it actually was.

This trip to Battu had been rather impromptu. “Imprombattu” as Finn had coined it on the ride over.

Chewie had asked them if they could return a trunk of “anonymous and non-specific items that definitely weren’t the clothes of a baby” to a woman named Nurmi. Chewie mentioned how he had meant to return them to her when he came back a few months ago which meant that it had definitely been from Ben and Rey. Rose again wondered how the baby was doing.

 _The baby_. Still such a strange and foreign thought.

Chewie did reveal to them though that this woman, the togruta, lived on Batuu and ran a midwife practice. They were not to speak of their knowledge of Nurmi’s involvement. Chewie probably wouldn't even have told them about her or the trunk was it not for Poe’s insistence that he take the Falcon and help lead a rescue to get people clear of the traffickers picking people up. The current confrontation transpiring on Ryloth. Innocent people were being collected to become slave workers to the First Order. Chewie agreed that his assistance was needed for this job. Enslavement of innocents was something that struck him very personally.

Because of this, Chewie thought he would give Finn and Rose an assignment of his own.

He let them help with this aspect of Rey’s life though it did not directly affect her. They appreciated it still, to be trusted with this. They were grateful that he was including them in the assisting of his loyalty to Ben and Rey.

And they wondered if one day, Chewie would take them with him when he goes to visit them wherever they were.

For now, dropping off their hand-me-down baby supplies was about all they could do for them. That and just keeping their mouth shut.

They see a building come into sight after their fumbling and awkward shuffle with the trunk between them. Its roof was tall and white, painted with blue stripes and designs, like the lekku of a togruta.

The sign above the door says "Madam Nurmi Kra’na: Midwife and Pediatrician". Finn sighs in relief. “This must be the place,” says Finn as they finally set the trunk down on the front steps. He cracks his back and shakes out his hands from the clenched fist they had been making. Rose steps forward to knock on the door. She knocks clearly and repeatedly for several minutes.

Only there is no answer.

“Do we wait for her to come back?” Rose asks Finn.

Finn looks to the sign above the door, “No. I think it should be fine. What if she’s delivering a baby or something. It could be hours before she shows. We don’t want to stay that long.”

“Good point,” Rose says and they wander off, leaving the trunk concealed behind the bench on her front porch.

* * *

But inside, Nurmi is suspended in the air, her throat cut off from all air as the dark figure stood before her. It is the same man that was here all those months ago, only this time he was alone.

Xid. She would never forget his appearance.

He releases her as soon as the two on the front porch walk away.

“Nurmi Kra’na...” Xid hisses. “It seems you were not entirely honest with me the last time I asked you some questions.” He gives her a moment to catch her breath as if to give the illusion that he will show her mercy. But Xid has been waiting for this for eight months now. The only mercy she might possibly receive was that he would kill her before she got the chance to be arrested and taken as a prisoner to the First Order.

“You don’t need to try and pretend. I know you’ve been aiding the fugitives!”

“I will never tell you anything!” she spits at them.

“Oh, but you will, even if I have to rip it out of your skull.”

He throws her body against the far wall. Nurmi feels as if her bones have shattered and she can’t get back up from where she’s fallen. Her ribs feel like they have punctured her lungs and she can’t seem to breathe.

It had all happened so fast. She had been in her kitchen when suddenly he attacked her. She suspects he came in through the back door or from the open window upstairs. 

She had gotten word from Chewie that morning that two friends of his would be dropping off some of the things Lorelei had outgrown. Friends that had come and gone, leaving the trunk on her porch and believing her to not be at home. Nurmi is relieved that they are gone but wonders what will become of them if this man is not alone. Where were those other knights?

“I know those two dipshits outside don’t have too much on their minds, at least not what I want,” Xid says as he slowly makes his way over to where Nurmi is laying on the ground. “I wonder though that if they knew you were in pain, that you were suffering, they might try to fuck with my agenda. So we’re going to let them think all is hunky dory while you and I have a little chat.”

Xid brings her to the air again and she howls in pain as her bones shift from the sharp movements. “Last chance to tell me what you know. My way of extracting information won’t be pleasant, at least not for you.”

“Fuck you!” she rasps out and Xid actually laughs.

“Thank you. I much prefer this method. And no matter what you told me I was going to do it anyway.” Nurmi plummets to the floor once again as Xid holds up his hand near her face, digging into her mind.

At first, he sees nothing of consequence.

He sees her at the market.

He sees her eating dinner by herself at the table.

He sees her aiding mothers and their children. None of them were the mother or child he was looking for, so he delves deeper.

And then he sees the wookiee. He stood before this woman as she gave him boxes of canned baby food.

That still wasn’t enough.

Further, he pries and he sees Kylo Ren has stood before her. Kylo, the woman, the child. She’s seen them. The memory flashes through his own mind and he sees for himself.

 _"She knows she’s safe...at least in here,”_ Kylo says _._ His whore runs her hands along his back and leans against him. Something that Xid supposes is affection. Something he knows the true Kylo Ren was not capable of. Xid watches as Nurmi picks up the child and holds her close, looking deep into her new eyes.

She has held the filthy spawn with her own hands.

 Xid pulls back to strike her across the face, “You insufferable bitch!”

They had been here. That fat man was right. The first tip they received all those months ago, the one Xid had been so sure was a waste of time, had been the closest they had gotten to the wretched criminals...until now.

“Where did they go?”

“I don’t know!”

“Lies!” Xid growls.

“Even if I did I would never tell you! Never,” she rasps out, her voice scratchy and pained but her eyes were determined. Xid digs further. He sees in her mind the sight of the woman holding the child. It was on a small screen. Likely from the box in the kitchen. The old transceiver.

 _“She woke up this morning burning! She’s so uncomfortable and we don’t know how to help her,”_ the false Jedi says. Her voice frightened as she gently rocks the child who gives low and ached whines.

 _“What is her temperature?”_ Nurmi asks them.

Suddenly, Kylo comes from behind reading off what Xid could only assume is a thermometer, _“One-oh-two.”_ He sounds frightened as well, but that is not near as interesting to Xid as his appearance. Kylo was unshaven. He wore a dark gray tunic, not black. No gloves, no cape. Just the worried eyes for the child held in the arms of that woman...Rey.

Kylo has become weak. His vulnerabilities so blatantly obvious. The mother and the child were the perfect tools to use against his former master.

Xid cackles. _How foolish_. This man thought he could play the role of a father. This man who Xid had seen slaughter so many. How pathetic his old master had become. 

“Where are they!?” Xid growls. He saw them on the transceiver but could not decipher their location. “Where!” he bellows, losing his patience. Of all the things he has ripped from her mind, that remained to be shown. Perhaps she truly didn’t know. He clenches his hand further as if her unknowing of their location would award her any mercy. If anything, Xid is more inclined to kill her for her incompetence.

Until he realizes he already has.

Xid watches as the woman’s eyes flutter closed. Her body distorted as it laid slumped against the tile of her house.

Her mind was quiet now. He had pushed this old bag to her dying breath, perhaps snapping her neck in his outrage. “Bitch,” he says mostly to himself now but it echoes throughout the room.

No matter. He stalks to the kitchen, hungry gaze settling on the transceiver he saw in the woman’s memories. Perhaps he could trace the calls that had been made from the device. He could track them down.

Within minutes he extracts what he needs. “Perfect,” he smirks as he comms Soldar once again. They would be leaving soon.

* * *

Soldar is shadowing the ex-stormtrooper and the small woman through the streets of the outpost. Xid had said to make sure they didn’t suspect anything. If they realized that they had discovered their relations with the midwife, they might try to notify Kylo and the girl.

Before Xid even got a steady lead, Kylo and his mistakes could escape and once again be lost to them. So for now, Soldar lurks in the shadows, watching as the couple stops off at a cantina for something to eat.

“How miserably average,” Soldar mumbles to himself as he sees the man order a sandwich for him and the girl to share.

His wrist beeps a moment later. He brings it closer to his face, his words quiet, “Xid?”

“Soldar, meet me at the ship. I have the coordinates to where they are. If we input them into out navicomp it should lead us right to them.”

Soldar chuckles but remembers the two he was still watching from afar, “What about these idiots. Should I kill them?”

“No. They need to report back to the Resistance or whoever the hell they speak to so they think everything went fine. We need to give ourselves a head start.”

Not ten minutes later are they leaving the atmosphere headed towards the coordinates that Xid had pulled from the transceiver. When they dropped back out of lightspeed, they would have found their fugitives.

* * *

 

Rose feels a little paranoid. “Finn, I think we should stop by and see if she’s there now. I think we should be sure she gets it in okay. She’s old. What if she needs help getting it inside?”

Finn hadn’t thought of that. He practically inhales the remainder of his sandwich and they once again thread themselves through the streets of Black Spire. They approach her building, only this time, the door hangs wide open and the trunk remains out front, untouched.

Finn and Rose eye each other, suspicious looks riddle their faces. They both pull out the blaster against their sides and slowly make their way inside the home. Finn goes first, calling out and getting no response, “Nurmi? Nurmi Kra’na?”

The house is a mess and far too dark for the middle of the day. All the curtains had been closed and Rose creeps over slowly to pull them back. As light spreads through the room, they are faced with the body of a woman bleeding out on the tile.

Nurmi.

“Kriffing hell!” Finn jumps, covering his mouth to keep his sandwich down.

“Oh no…” Rose mumbles as she rushes over to her side, calling to the woman. Trying to see if there was anyone left to call to. “Nurmi? Nurmi, can you hear me? My name is Rose. I’m a friend of Chewie and Maz.”

“Rose, she’s dead-”

“Shut up. I’m trying to give her an anchor. A voice to come back to!” Finn goes silent as he begins to evaluate the house around him. Shelves, glass, furniture all riddled in shambles. Nothing appeared to be stolen though Finn didn’t know what it looked like before. _Who could have done this?_

“Nurmi, please!”

Suddenly the woman stirs and her lashes flutter from the light above them, “Hnnh…”

“Nurmi? Can you hear me?”

“Yes,” she rasps, her hand reaching for Rose’s small ones, holding limply as her life slowly faded from her. She refused to die just yet. She needed to make sure they were safe. Ben and Rey were in danger. “You must warn them. He’s coming for them. They need to get out while they can...please. Promise me you will tell them.”

“Ben and Rey?” Rose asks. Who else could she mean? Rose feels her heart speed up even quicker as it nearly blocks out all the hushed words of the old togruta woman.

Nurmi doesn’t respond, too determined to say these final words, “The knight. He will kill them. He will...he will take the child. Please…don't let him take her.”

Nurmi gives a final breath before she expires completely. Rose shudders as she realizes she’s holding a dead woman in her arms.

In heavy understanding and fear, Finn retches on the floor.

Rose trembles as she clings to Nurmi's hands, begging for life to return to her, "Please don’t let it be true..."

Rey and her family were in danger. 

The knights were heading for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to incorporate Nurmi as much as I did in this story but she became a really important character and I feel really bad for killing her...I murdered a fictional person with words!!!


	21. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soldar realizes his "partnership" with Xid is more of a service he must take part in when he realizes Xid's gone power crazy. 
> 
> Chewie is frantic and Maz gets up to speed with the issue at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one before we get into the really heavy stuff... 
> 
> I finished it this afternoon after I posted the other one so I figured I would post it now (because I should be doing several other things right now but that isn't happening it seems). Since this stuff is getting pretty tense then I assumed you guys wouldn't mind.

 Soldar and Xid are in the cockpit of their ship.

It is the first time they’ve flown in space since they stationed themselves on Batuu five months ago. Now though, they were in lightspeed, en route to the corner of the galaxy that Kylo had found for himself.

The coordinates were strange. No place Soldar recognized. Perhaps they had found themselves in some uncharted territory. A wise move for desperate fugitives trying to raise their spawn. It also meant that there was little chance for them to get away. Few places to hide once they realized they were cornered.

Still, Soldar is anxious. Kylo was strong, as was the girl. Together they had killed the Praetorian guards. Their combined efforts obviously seemed to be quite powerful.

Soldar does not want to admit that they may still be _too_ powerful for him and Xid, even with their more practiced skills. He swallows his pride to approach the subject though, anticipating Xid’s upset.

“Xid, you won’t like what I’m about to suggest.”

Xid answers plainly, “Then do not suggest it.”

Soldar presses forth anyway. This opinion should at least be spoken. “Kylo and the girl, they are powerful. I don’t think just the two of us should try to claim them. We will need assistance. I think we should call the others.”

Xid snaps his head towards Soldar in fury, “You want to call the other knights? You think we need _their_ help?”

“I mean to say that there are only two of us. We may not want to blow this opportunity to catch them if we cannot handle their combined strength.”

“NO! You did not see what I saw. Kylo has become weak. He can be defeated," Xid shouts at him.

“But what if to protect the child, he and the woman are only further encouraged to succeed. Perhaps their compassion will fuel them? We should at least notify Hux with their location in case something happens to us.”

Xid holds up his hand, the air in Soldar’s lungs dissipating completely. His eyes wide as he strains them onto Xid.

Xid who was furious.

“Kylo is weak. Our skills have expanded in the art of the dark side. No matter what his violent affections for these people may be, they do not rival the power of the dark! We will apprehend them on our own. When we return to the First Order with them in custody. Hux will understand my true power. The other knights will see how they were wrong not to follow me but I will not let them share in _my_ victory!”

He releases Soldar, “Now prepare the ysalamiri capsules. We will need them if we want to get them on the ship quickly.”

“Yes, Xid…” Soldar says, holding a hand to his throat to soothe the ache spreading there.

Soldar thinks to himself in slight disappointment. Xid referred to this as his victory, not theirs. Soldar followed him all those months ago. He left the rest of the knights to join him on this quest, and still, he is treated no different.

Discouraged but accustomed to the feeling, Soldar places a blaster in his lap and begins to load it with the force suppressant serum.

All were rather large and Soldar risks another question, knowing it would likely only upset his fellow knight. “What is the dosage for a child? We don’t wish to kill it by sedating it, do we?”

Xid turns, “Never mind that. As long as we get Kylo and the mother then we won’t need to sedate the spawn. Children at eight months of age cannot inflict much damage.”

"Suppose she is powerful though. The parents are strong and it could mean that-"

"Silence! No more talking until we arrive," Xid barks.

Soldar nods with his eyes downcast in shame. He felt like a scolded child. Xid had no respect for him. Whatever alliance he thought he and Xid had built on Batuu was short lived.

Soldar distracts himself by looking around the ship. He doesn’t know where they will place the child. He doesn’t really want to hold it while they travel back to the First Order. He was not a baby person. Xid was hardly the man to hold a child either or even know how. Where will they put it where it won't electrocute itself?

That is of course, only if they get the child on board at all.

Despite the weakness to this woman and their baby, he had seen the raw power that was Kylo Ren. Five months of training on mindless vagrants was hardly the training required for facing two such powerful force wielders.

Soldar fears this will not go as smoothly as Xid expects.

* * *

 

Chewie and Waroo were en route back to Arkanis when he received a frantic transmission from Finn and Rose.

Their trip to Batuu had gone horribly wrong. They said that Nurmi had been killed and the knights were on their way to Lah’mu.

He moans in anticipation as he nervously paws at every contraption the Falcon had to offer. What button could he push to make this all stop happening? How could they escape this reality?

But no. This was real. He realizes that the day had come. So soon and Ben, Rey, and Lorelei would have to leave their home. They would be so devastated.

Still, to leave Lah’mu and live another day was all that mattered to them.

But Chewie begins to panic as it had been several minutes since he sent out the call and there is still no response. They haven’t answered. Chewie needs to get to Lah’mu himself, but he’s locked in lightspeed. He needs to wait until they drop out of hyperspace before he can change routes.

The continued ringing pierces Chewie’s ears. The longer he waits, the more he worries the knights have already arrived. They need to get a hold of them somehow. Any way they can.

“Maybe they are already on their ship. Waroo, send a message to the codes I have saved in the computer.”

Waroo does just that, only he receives no response as well. He sits, waiting impatiently for a voice to come through but nothing does. 

They had prepared for things like this. Why now, at their most desperate time, could they not reach them? Fear turns Chewie's stomach, the thought they were too late already plaguing him.  

This all makes Chewie think back to that conversation he had with Ben all those months ago. 

_“If something happens–goes wrong–then I need it to happen to me. I need them to escape.”_

Those words had haunted the wookiee. Even though Ben meant them to protect his family, to think that he might sacrifice himself to save them is unsettling. Chewie had to get ahold of them before he did anything rash. He needed to think, exhaust every possibility if they were to get them out of the line of fire. 

 _Maz_ , he decides. He should tell Maz. Maybe she had some more coherent ideas. He sets the radio to Maz's contact number and he and Waroo await her reply. His son grips his shoulder, trying to offer support though there was little comfort to be given. Or perhaps it is to ease his own fear. His son was just as frightened for the small family they had sworn to protect. 

Maz answers just then, “Chewie?”

“Maz!" both Waroo and Chewie roar. 

At the sight of the frantic wookiees. Maz can already tell this wasn't going to be a good call. Something was wrong. Her heart leaps into her throat as she thinks of the family in hiding on the other end of the galaxy. Something had happened...

Why else would Chewie be calling so frightened?

"Maz! There’s some knights headed for Lah’mu and I can’t get a hold of Ben and Rey. They aren’t answering from the home line!”

She jumps to her feet, holding a hand to her chest as if she was having a heart attack. “Oh kriff, did you try to contact the ship as well?” 

“Yes, no answer.”

“Fuck, okay. You and Waroo, keep trying to contact the house. I will try to contact the ship from here." Maz takes a moment to gather her bearings before aksing more questions, "Where are you right now? Can you get to them?”

“No. We’re stuck in hyperspace. We still have another hour before we get to Arkanis and even then I’ll need more fuel. It would be hours before we could actually get there.”

Maz brings a hand to her head, a sudden headache surges through her to aid her minor heart attack. She has a horrible feeling, almost like she was going to be sick. She wonders for a moment if she should head to Lah’mu herself, but it would likely take her just as long to get there as Chewie given that Takodana was even further from Lah'mu than Arkanis was.

Instead, she decides that maybe she should go to Ach-To. That way Chewie could head to Lah'mu and in case she heard from them. Maz could tell them to meet her on Ach-To, the backup plan decided on months ago now. Maz could be ready for them. To help them in case they were hurt.

“Chewie. I’m gonna take the Epoch and head to Ach-To. When you get to Arkanis, comm me. Unless you hear from them before that, head for Lah'mu and see what's up.”

Chewie nods.

"How did the knights even figure out where to find them?"

Chewie is quiet as he thinks of the story Rose had told him, “Some of them, I don't know how many, must have been hiding on Batuu. Finn and Rose were dropping off some things to Nurmi...she was killed Maz."

Maz covers her open mouth with her hand. Devastated to hear about her dear friend. So loyal to Ben and Rey until the end. She died protecting them and still it may not be enough. These monsters...how could there be so many in the galaxy? How could so many people be so vicious? 

Chewie moans on, "They tortured her and left her dead on her floor. Finn and Rose found her like that. That's about all I know. Finn and Rose...they aren't taking it well. They don't know when the knights left or how soon they could get to Ben and Rey."

These beasts wanted to capture the people that Maz considered as her own blood. Her family. Chewie’s family. They were so important to them all. To the force. To the balance. To the galaxy.

Chewie whimpers, as Waroo he checks the radio to the side. "Still no answer," he moans. The tension in all of them rises further.

“Did she...did she say anything?” Maz asks him, "Nurmi?"

“Rose said that she spoke right before she died. She said that Ben and Rey needed to get to safety and that no matter what, not to let them get a hold of Lei. They will try to take her. They know she’s powerful.”

Maz feels tears gather in her eyes. Not only for Nurmi but also because she knows that was all too true. They would take Lorelei and raise her to hate everything, to crave the darkness.

The same way that Snoke had tried to do with Ben.

 _No_. Maz wouldn’t let that happen. And Ben and Rey sure as hell weren’t going to let that happen. Because as frightening as this was, Maz knew they wouldn't let anything happen to that girl.

The knights had separated. It wasn’t advertised but anyone paying attention to the disgusting war propaganda circulating these days could figure it out. They were divided. And if they were divided, that meant their chances of apprehending the family would be slim.

But still, Maz trembles in fear. The thought of them being taken or killed was nauseating.

The thought of Lorelei forced into darkness as her father and great-grandfather once were was so chilling. 

They could not afford to lose anything else. Not when so much had already been taken from them...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lordy...here we go!!!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 


	22. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've thought a lot about what I would title this chapter and I settled for 'Mother'. There are several reasons for this but to give you a general idea it relates heavily to the song. 
> 
> I have two versions of 'Mother' on the Lorelei playlist. One is the original by Danzig and the other is a cover by Lissie. I think with a little imagination it applies really well to this chapter. 
> 
> Basically, I've tried to interpret it like this: no matter how we try to keep our children from the devastations of the world (in this case the galaxy), it will find them anyway. 
> 
> I take the original meaning of the song being all about censorship and how it doesn't matter how you protect your children because someday they will have to face those things too...ouch.
> 
> (If you aren't into gothic heavy metal then I encourage you to listen to the Lissie version because it may be my favorite cover of any song ever and I think it matches the mood of this particular story even better than the original! Sorry Glenn!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm so nervous to post this. But really, I just want to take these last few moments before you all hate me to say that I absolutely love all of you and all the support you give me for this story! I'll still dig you when you despise me, haha. 
> 
> Good luck my loves. And please stick around to read the endnotes! I think it might help...

Ben wakes up in the same position that he fell asleep in. His daughter on one side of him and Rey on the other, both cuddled against his chest. Both were still sleeping. He thinks for a moment that a few more minutes won’t hurt, he could remain here forever. But then he realizes that the patter of raindrops has stopped and he knows he must get up.

Memories of Lei bursting the baby food in the kitchen and wrecking the transceiver flood back into his mind. He decides that it would be best to make his way over to the ship with the spare parts before the rain starts up again. He didn’t like having their main communication outlet not at their immediate disposal.

He sits up, careful not to wake the baby on his chest before he stands up and settles her back against the bed, closer to Rey. Warm from where his body had been. Lei gives a soft little coo as she burrows into the blankets again and instinctively reaches for Rey.

 _So beautiful_ , he thinks. Both of them cuddled so closely. His entire life existed only between these two people.

Ben moves to get dressed and brush his teeth. He sits at the foot of the bed so he can put his boots on but when he turns around he sees that Rey’s eyes are open and she’s watching him with a tired smile on her face.

He walks over to her side of the bed, taking her hand in his as he whispers to her. Cautious so Lorelei doesn’t wake up yet.

“It stopped raining so I’m going over to the cave to look for parts. I’ll be back in a little bit,” he leans over her to kiss her quickly and she smiles at him when he pulls back.

“Are you sure you know what you’re looking for?” she teases him.

“I have learned from the best scavenger around, so yes, I think I do.” She swats at his shoulder but smiles anyway. Ben rests a hand over Lorelei’s back as she still rests. Thoughts of their previous evening dominating his thoughts.

 _Dada_. Her first word.

Rey watches him as his eyes fill with that new kind of happy that they’ve become so accustomed to. She brushes his hair back behind his ear. She can tell it’s sticking up in the back from sleep but adores it anyway.

Ben stands, wanting to hurry back so they could repair the device in the kitchen. He gives Rey’s forehead a final kiss goodbye as he summons his lightsaber from the nightstand.  He places it on his belt as always before he leaves. It wasn’t something he thought about anymore, it was more like putting his boots on before he left the house. He needed it if he was going anywhere but tried not to think of why.

He makes for the door, turning around to close it. He catches Rey’s eyes all the way from the bedroom before he does and he gives her a final smile before he makes for the Moonstruck hidden in the cave.

The cave was only about two miles from the house. However, it was rather bumpy terrain and the path got a little narrow at times so it was usually a walking endeavor since the speeder didn’t make the journey very smoothly.

Even then, walking was more like hiking as Ben had to carefully scale down small enough hills but difficult since the mud was slippery from the rain. However, this morning, Ben sees how small patches of wildflowers were blooming along his path. Little scatterings of violet among the vivid green that surrounded the planet.

Too tempting not to, Ben gathers a few in his hands. He grabs just a couple and collects them into a small and precise bouquet. He thinks he could weave a few of them into Rey’s hair when he gets back home.

And Ben can’t help but smile as he thinks about their conversation from the other night. Another reason Ben needed to get this transceiver fixed was not just because of their safety or to get Lorelei some more jogan fruit baby food, but also because he wanted to ask Chewie about arranging a small wedding for the next time he came. He could bring his family, Waroo and Malla. Maz would be there. Maybe even Nurmi could come.

Lorelei would have such a fun time as she could see just how loved she is by so many. It had been so long since Maz had seen Lorelei and she would be amazed at how much she’s grown. Maybe she could bring those small cakes she used to make when he was younger. Ben smiles as he imagines what Lei’s face would look like covered in cake.

She’ll love it.

And then he laughs because he thinks that Rey would likely stuff her face with cake too.

Ben’s determined hike had become more of a stroll as he daydreams of his family and all they have to look forward to.

He was distracted...

* * *

 

Rey rises just for a moment to brush her teeth and use the fresher before she returned to bed where Lorelei was still sleeping softly. Rey lays beside her, running her hand past her back smoothing back her hair where it stood up. Similar to how Ben’s had been pushed from the pillows, Lorelei’s had been altered from being snug against Ben’s chest.

They were so similar in so many ways, Lei and Ben. She could see how so much of Ben’s gentle and affectionate nature came through their daughter. Something that Rey was really the only witness to but knew well enough it was from him.

Rey thinks back to Ben’s words from the night before. He had thanked her...for everything. He was so grateful for the love she felt for him. Grateful for the daughter she had carried within her. Grateful for the life they lived in this place, their home.

Rey was just as grateful to him. For loving her and for giving her Lorelei. Rey is so pleased to know that her baby will never doubt how much she is loved. She will always know that her parents are there for her, always.

Lorelei begins to stir, her arms stretching out before her eyes even open. Little grunts and yawns, warm against Rey’s face. And then her big eyes open again. Rey never tires from the sight of them.

So much like Ben’s. 

“Good morning, love.”

Lorelei focuses on Rey before her mouth quirks into a smile, happy to see her again. She coos and squeaks as she reaches for her mother. Their faces just inches apart.

She kisses her dimpled cheeks, traveling over so she can kiss her big beautiful ears. Lorelei dives forward, slobbering all over Rey’s face. Rey can only assume she means to return the gesture.

“Are you hungry, Lei?” Rey asks her. She would be getting nothing but bottled milk this morning and maybe later they could search for a different flavored baby mush. Anything but Manak flavored.

She picks her up, moving towards the kitchen so Rey can get a bottle she prepared earlier the previous evening, before all the Manak nonsense. Before she gets to the kitchen though she notices how Lorelei turns her head all around searching for something.

Rey understands her confusion and reassures her.

“Daddy will be back soon. He had to go find some things,” she tells the baby.

Lei smiles at the mention of her father, “Dada.”

Rey melts, “Yes, Dada. He will be so excited to see you’re awake.” Rey pulls her into a tighter hug and just admires the weight of her daughter in her arms. So small and yet so much bigger than she was when they first held her. Already she had grown so much and it seems like the days fly past them.

Rey is opening the refrigerator when suddenly she hears a noise she’s never heard before.

It was a strange kind of beeping. It wasn’t like the chirping of the transceiver or the oven or the purifiers. Rey settles the baby on her hip as she pinpoints the noise. It was coming from the security screens connected to the cameras around the property. They were picking something up. She rushes forward to see a ship fly by, getting closer and closer to the homestead.

It was not the Millenium Falcon or the Epoch Swift. It was a ship Rey had never seen but knew well enough where it had come from.

The First Order.

Her heart drops as she gasps. Her fear does not go unnoticed by the baby as Lorelei begins to cry, sensing her mother’s sudden distress.

They had been found.

 

* * *

 

Ben enters the cave and sets for the Moonstruck. The ramp lowers and with it, he hears a faint chirping from inside. Suddenly, much more alert he rushes up to hear it is coming from the cockpit. The radio.

He sets the collection of flowers down on the co pilot’s seat as he rushes over to the panel. There were about thirty missed messages and another call waiting. He accepts it and the flushed face of Maz fills his vision. Her head is in her hands and she doesn't realize he’s activated the transmission.

“Maz?”

Her head shoots up. “Ben! Ben, oh my stars, thank kriff! Are you okay?”

“We’re fine. Why-”  he begins to ask but Maz cuts him off, realizing his confusion and not his panic. Her eyes go wide.

“Wait, you’re still on Lah’mu?”

Ben freezes. Why wouldn’t they be on Lah’mu? “Of course we are, Maz. What the hell is going on?”

“Ben, you need to gather Rey and Lorelei and get away now. The knights, we don't know how many but they found out where you are. They’re on their way right now! You need to go!”

Ben’s heart plummets and he’s about to bolt into action when he hears something. A ship. Ben knows well enough it is heading for his home.

For his family.

“No…” he breathes out. And then there’s a loud blast echoing out through the hills. The ground shaking from the impact. Rey and Lorelei’s signatures flare with fear that matches his own and he sprints back for the house.

The transmission is left going and Maz sits helplessly from the cockpit of the Epoch pleading that Ben would return to the ship within moments with his family.

As she could faintly hear the sound of another blast, she can’t help but feel like that’s just wishful thinking.

* * *

 

Soldar flies the ship to hover near the home. Xid laughs but it is more of a cackle as he tells Soldar to fire on the structure.

“We need to bring them back alive,” Soldar reminds him.

“You were the one that said they were powerful. Some minor blasts won’t do much. We just want to draw them out.”

Soldar understands what he’s saying and readies the guns. He aims for the hills behind the house and fires.

 

* * *

 

Inside, Rey holds Lei close to her. The home shakes as something strikes the foundation.

 _Rey!_ She hears Ben’s voice through her mind.

_Ben! Someone’s here!_

_I know, I know. It’s the knights. They found us._

She can tell he’s running. The connection was frantic and rushed. But he was coming back from the cave that was over two miles away. Even at his fastest, it would take him at least ten minutes to get back. They didn’t have that kind of time. Rey knew she had to act or else they would be destroyed. _Killed._

All child’s play in comparison to the thought that these people wanted to take her daughter. To turn her into one of them.

 _No._ Rey would not let that happen.

Another blast strikes near the house. Nothing to breach through the roof but enough to make their furniture jump and the glass shatter. Lorelei wails louder.

Rey’s never heard her cry like this. She’s terrified. The fear that she feels not only from the loud noises but from her parents as well. She could feel how scared they were.

“Shh...Lei, I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Rey tells her. She isn’t sure how she can speak as calmly as she does but it still isn’t enough. Lorelei’s little face is so red and Rey worries she won’t be able to breathe. Gathering her strength, Rey sends waves of calm she does not currently possess to her daughter and presses her into a force induced sleep. Her cries trail off as Rey lays her down in her crib, tears flowing from her eyes at a furious pace.

Rey knows what she has to do.

With Ben too far away and the current attack of their home, Rey had to face them. She had to go out. And she knows that’s what they want. They weren’t trying to make the house go up in flames, they were trying to smoke them out. Coax them through devastation to rile them up and lure them away from the safety of their home.

It was a trap and to save her daughter, Rey would have to walk right into it. She knows Ben would tell her not to. He would tell her to stay inside and wait for him, but his mind is a flurry of fear and worry right now. He cannot reach into her thoughts without sacrificing some sense of his physical energy and he’s already running as fast as he can.

She will have to do this alone. She will have to defend their home.

Rey looks down to the girl sleeping in the crib. Her baby. How could so much darkness be after someone so little? Rey’s determination ignites to a most fierce degree as she knows for Lorelei she would do anything.

Wanting only to leave her daughter with words of comfort she speaks without thinking to the sleeping baby, “I’ll come back for you, sweetheart. I promise.”

Rey slaps a hand over her mouth. Had those words really just left her lips? She sobs as another blast strikes the foundation around them. She had just spoken the words to her baby that had haunted Rey as a child. The lie that she repeated to herself all her life and likely created as well.

Rey hopes more than anything that she did not just lie to Lorelei.

Wiping her tears, she walks forward summoning her saber to her hand as she makes for the door. She halts just for a moment, taking one last look at the bedroom where her daughter slept.

So quickly had their lives returned to tragedy. Rey had forgotten just how much jeopardy her family was in–has been these past eight months.

She failed to notice until it was too late.

* * *

 

Soldar waits, preparing the next round to fire on the house when the woman walks out. The double-edged blue lightsaber ignited at her side and even from their spot in the sky, Soldar can see the fire in her eyes.

“Bring us down to her,” Xid says.

“Where’s Kylo?” Soldar queries. He doubts that Kylo would send the girl out alone. 

“I said ‘bring us down’!” Xid demands.

Soldar does as he’s told and descends from the sky. He checks to make sure the blaster is strapped at his thigh before taking his saber from his belt. Xid does the same as they venture down the ramp, the full sight of the woman before them making Soldar gulp.

She is framed by the smoke of the small explosions he had inflicted. Her hair flies back along with her dark gray nightgown and robe. She stood barefoot with a most determined expression on her face as she stood before her home.

The mother who stood before the nest they had disturbed.

Soldar has seldom been so petrified by the sight of his prospective opponent, or of anyone actually.

Xid must ignore the imagery before them as he runs forward, saber ignited in hand and Soldar follows close behind.

* * *

 

They charge for her. Just the two of them.

 _Only two?_ Rey thinks to herself.

Perhaps this would not be as devastating as she thought. She could hold them off long enough for Ben to get back and aid her in battle.

Still, they come for her and she surges forward too. She realizes just then that she’s without her boots but she forges on. The dirt beneath her feet hardly distracting as she gives a war cry, anticipating the hard blow the lightsaber that tries to strike her down. The first one crashes hard but she blocks it, as well as the strike from the second one. The design of her saber most convenient.

She takes their close proximity to look more closely at the assailants. The knights. They wear masks and wield lightsabers. Red like Ben’s though not crossguards. One seems larger, wider and stronger but he seems more hesitant. Almost like he was afraid.

The other was tall and lean, and for all his ferocity and practiced precision, he was predictable. 

The taller one roars as he pulls back to strike at her legs and the other goes for her neck. She blocks both, pushing them both back as she strikes again. They back up as she spins and advances.

At every turn, they are there, persistent but obviously tiring. Perhaps they did not expect much of a fight from her. At least not one to worry about. They must have been expecting Ben would give them more trouble.

Just then, the wider one lunges, trying to strike her side but she spins and with the defense of her saber, his hand is sliced from his body. His weapon falls into the long grass along with his hand. He falls to his knees, howling in pain as he fumbles, searching blindly for the items he has lost.

“Damn it, Soldar!” the tall one growls, realizing he is without the aid of his fellow knight and Rey is focused solely on him now.

* * *

 Soldar crouches in the grass, searching for his saber and his hand. The events transpiring cloud his mind and he can not locate it. He can only sense the fierce and protective nature of the girl and how absolutely furious Xid is.

There’s something else though. Something as protective as the girl but fueled with an aggression and rage perhaps even greater than Xid’s.

It was Kylo.

He’s coming. Soldar could tell. He could not see him but his frantic strides could likely be felt if they were coming from the opposite side of the planet.

They were not going to win. Soldar could see that he was right all along. They were not ready to face them. They should have called for help. There was no way they were going to get all three of them. Soldar looks to the homestead. He knew the child was likely in there, but suppose Kylo returned before Soldar could grab it. All of this really would be for nothing. The family would get away and be further lost to them. 

And just then he sees how the girl slashes Xid in the stomach. Not all the way through but enough to bring him to his knees. He howls in pain as he falls even further, his head low. Defeated.  

Soldar curses Xid for his ignorance but knows what needs to be done. Soldar abandons his search for his limb and his saber and pulls out the blaster at his side. He brews a new plan within his own mind, expecting Xid to dislike it but seeing as he’s about to save his life, Soldar couldn’t give a damn what Xid wanted anymore.

Just as the girl is about to bring her saber down and end Xid’s life forever, Soldar fires and the capsule buries itself in her chest.

* * *

 She feels strange. One moment Rey held her saber above this monster’s head and the next she feels dizzy. As if she can’t stay standing anymore.

Then pain blooms from a sharpness in her chest. She looks down to see something has pierced her, something has entered her body and she felt as the force within her was draining.

_No..._

She slumps forward, trying to strike the man sprawled out before her, but another blast strikes her. This time the effects hit her instantly and she cries out as she falls to the grass. Her body hits the ground beneath her and she tries so hard to keep her eyes from closing, but the darkness begins to overcome her vision.

She tries as hard as she can to deny the pull under. “Lei…” she breathes out, but then Rey is swallowed into blackness and the pain that awaits her.

* * *

 Inside, Lorelei awakes from her force induced slumber. She whimpers, confused by the strange ache in her chest and now in her mind.

She doesn’t understand. She cries out in fear for what she could only feel in her mind as being wrong. She is not surrounded in love and protection as she always is and the foreign feeling makes her whine. 

All the baby knows is that she can’t sense Rey. Not in her mind the way she always does. All she can feel is the fear. Not only from her the absence of her mother, but also from the shattered soul of her father.

He felt that fear too. That pain.

Lorelei sobs, but for the first time, neither of her parents are there to comfort her. Their walls are down and she feels to the full extent, their pain and anguish.

* * *

 Ben had been running. Tears flying from his eyes into his hair as he runs harder than he’s ever run in his life. He could tell that Rey was in battle, he could feel her anger, her determination, her desire to protect their baby.

Smoke rises in the sky from the blasts he heard echo out for miles and it is the most horrifying beacon he could think of to guide him home.

His boots sink further into the sediments as he tries to scale the hills.

Every so often, sobs escape him as he curses himself for not being more on guard. He had been distracted. He let his defenses down and now his family had to pay for it.

He’s about to turn the corner. The last turn before the home will be in sight but still out of reach.

Before he makes it there though, he crashes to the ground, falling down the slope of the hill. Something feels like it’s pierced his chest. He cries out in pain as he falls to the black sand.

He rises slightly, his hand covering his torso, searching for the blast he was sure had struck him. But no. There was nothing there. It hits him again, lower and even worse than the first one. Still nothing. There was nothing lodged in his body but the fiery burn came regardless.

But it was not from his body.

He sobs out as he realizes this was not his pain, but Rey’s.

Her force, her love, her mind that resides so warmly beside his own is fading from him and he can’t get ahold of her. He can’t pull her back.

Within moments he cannot feel her at all.

_No. No, please. Not her. Not Rey. Take me! Take me instead._

He can feel how Lorelei feels this agony. She cannot feel her mother. She’s alone and in pain and scared. Everything he never wanted her to be.

He rises to his feet. He had to get to them before it was too late. Rey wasn’t gone. He refused to think otherwise.

They will not be taken from him.

* * *

 

Soldar watches as the girl falls to the ground. She says something before she slips under the effects of the serum but he can’t make out what it is.

He rushes over, his one arm curled into him. It pains him where there is no longer a hand but he rises anyway.

“Xid!” he calls but gets only a pained groan. Soldar kneels beside him and senses that he is still alive. He would survive. The final blow she had meant for his head never came.  

Soldar aids Xid to his feet as best he can, holding him with his one arm to his side. Gathering his remaining strength, fueled entirely by his refusal to die by Kylo Ren he brings the girl to levitate and trail behind them as they quickly make for the ship.

Xid is moaning about something but Soldar ignores it as he gathers them up the ramp. He practically throws the girl against the far wall of the ship once they are inside, angered by the loss of his arm. He leaves Xid to slump on the floor as he quickly raises the ramp and makes for the cockpit and starts the engines.

He doesn't wait to see if Kylo had arrived he just bolts out of the atmosphere and inputs the coordinates for Coruscant.

As the cool blues and whites of hyperspace surround them Soldar finally breathes.

They got away. With fewer limbs and fewer passengers than they intended, but away nonetheless.

And they at least had the girl. Soldar has a plan settling in mind and he knows that she will be enough. She was the bait that would have Kylo crawling to them on his knees, pleading for her life.

Claiming him and the child would not be so far out of reach.

 _Reach_ , Soldar rolls his eyes as he looks down to his missing hand. He wishes he could think of a better way to phrase that.

 

* * *

 

Ben watches as the ship leaves the atmosphere. He chases it out into the field screaming her name, pleading for it not to be true.

But it is.

Rey was gone. They took her.

It was never supposed to be her. He was supposed to keep them safe and he’s failed them so horribly.

He screams to the sky, defiant of this day. All that has been ripped from him within the last ten minutes– _te_ _n minutes!_ So quickly and half of his life, his soul, his Rey had been torn away from him.

He steps over something as he falls to the grass. He first sees the severed hand, concealed in the black glove. The fallen saber was nearby and Ben summons it to his grasp.

 _Soldar's_ , he recognizes. It was his blade. His hand. 

And then something else. He feels a hint of Rey and he thinks for a moment this has all been a horrible dream. He’s about to wake up and Rey will be beside him in their bed, but no.

What he feels is the energy of Rey’s saber laying in the grass as well. He brings it to his hands as well, knowing wherever they are taking her, she is without it.

Rey is without her family. Their daughter without her mother.

_Their daughter! Lorelei!_

She was still in the house. 

Ben jumps to his feet as he sprints back to her. The home surrounded in smoke and debris from the hills behind. 

He is spent from his run on the way back from the cave but he sprints forward still. Sweat dripping from his face, dirty from where he had slipped in the mud, and the wind having tangled his hair.

He was a mess. Physically. Mentally. All of it. 

He steps inside and instantly the cries of his daughter hit him like another invisible blast to his chest. They are pained and weak. He can feel how her mind feels the same as his. The throbbing vacancy of the love they both knew so well. He can feel how the absence of her mother has pained her as it has pained him and his own cries begin again.

He could not even protect Lorelei from that. He couldn't stop the pain from reaching her as he had drowned in his own. He should have been strong enough to keep her from this. But he wasn't.

It was too late and now Lei knows pain like few others ever will. She has felt that vicious agony and despair and Ben hates himself for it.

He picks her up from the crib and she clings onto him, her little fists gripping his tunic. Desperate for closeness and comfort the way Ben craves it from her. To reassure each other that they were real, both thinking they had lost everything. One a man, one a baby, both stricken deep by the grief of losing the woman they loved.

“I’m so sorry, Lei. I’m so sorry,” he sobs into her tiny shoulder. The woman that loved them both dearly and fought so fiercely to protect them is gone, and Ben can only blame himself.

His hands shake as he holds Lorelei tightly against him. He knows now he can never let go. He has to hold on to her and he curses himself that he thinks of it for the most selfish of reasons.

He fears that if it were not for her in his hold, he would fall back to the dark. Without Rey to balance him along with his absolute hatred of the knights, he might have already fallen. But Lei keeps him where he needs to be and he clings to her as tightly as she clings to him.

He needs her. He needs to protect Lorelei as she protects him from himself. He will not lose her too. He will do anything to keep her safe and in his arms until Rey can be with them again. Because there is no doubt of that. He would get Rey back. He had to.

He needed to.

“I will get mommy back, Lei. I promise I will find her and bring her back to us,” he cries against her hair. He knows she doesn't know what he’s saying but he speaks to her anyways, perhaps to say these words for himself as well.

Her ache and exhaustion mean she tires out against him. Her small whines trailing off as she finds sleep.

“I will bring her home…” he cries now and since the baby sleeps, he knows he says this for himself. As much as he wanted to believe it, it felt so impossible. How can he make it true? How can he have Rey in his arms again? How can he save Rey from the galaxy that so desperately wanted them dead while he kept Lorelei safe?

He doesn’t know how so he cries again, clinging to Lorelei.

He doesn't know how...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that many of you were expecting Ben to get taken or sacrifice himself because of his dream and his conversation with Chewie, but this chapter has basically been the main inspiration for the whole story.
> 
> Before I even started writing the beginning of 'Lorelei', I decided that Rey would be kidnapped and Ben would be left behind with their baby. He would have to find a way to balance himself without the presence of Rey while he protected his daughter and it will be very challenging for him. 
> 
> But his love for Lorelei and being a father has to be what guides him in this tragedy and we see how Ben really is Ben Solo. Kylo Ren is truly gone whereas parts of his darkness will always remain.
> 
> And you know I wouldn't end this on anything but a happy ending so just try and weather the shit storm because it will all be okay in the end. I promise you!!!
> 
> BTW, I gave my sister (who is an 11-year-old Reylo) a very general summary of this chapter and she left my room saying, "I don't like you right now," and stormed off so I can only imagine how all of you feel. 
> 
> Stay strong kids!!!


	23. Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Lorelei leave Lah'mu and contact Maz. Chewie has to deliver the news to Finn and Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, do I love you guys! 
> 
> I was really expecting people to hate me after that last one (and you probably do anyway) but I received such amazing feedback for it and I'm so glad the general population agrees with where this is headed. Especially with what I have planned for Ben and his role as a father as well as his role in the balance. 
> 
> This is what I would consider more of a transitionary chapter. Just so we can get everyone up to speed and understand where we'll be next time. It's still kind of a downer so...sorry.
> 
> Love you all (and a Happy Guy Fawkes Day for all you other V for Vendetta nerds!) (And Back to the Future dorks!) (I'm trying to be multi-fandom friendly, lol)!

Maz waited for a long while in the cockpit of the Epoch just shaking. She waited for the radio to ring back with Ben saying they were fine. That they got away and they were coming to meet her on Ach-To.

But forty minutes go by with nothing. Just silence.

Agonizing silence with only the hum of hyperspace to accompany her.

Right after Ben ran off, Maz had contacted Chewie. He was now waiting for the Falcon to refuel on Arkanis and it was taking forever it seemed. She told Chewie that she got a hold of them, but the knights had arrived to Lah’mu. She had no further news to give him and he cried out with moans that Maz had seldom heard from him. Desperate and frightened.

They could only wait now.

She thinks of calling again but she can’t move so well. She’s petrified with the fear that there may be no answer again. This time, knowing it may have been too late.

Maz isn’t sure she could handle that.

But then her own radio chirps with an awaiting call. She jumps in her seat, the silence had been so infinite and the loud disruption startles her. And then she sees it’s the Moonstruck again. They were calling her!

  
She activates the receiver and the blue holo vision of Ben and Lorelei fill her vision. “Ben! Oh stars, you’re back on the ship. And you’ve got Lorelei! Oh, thank force!” she exclaims.

Ben doesn’t answer her. He doesn’t even look at her. His eyes are closed and he’s holding his daughter tight against him. He’s shaking...and not including the child in his arms, he’s alone.

“Ben, where’s Rey?” she asks with a shaky voice.

Ben covers his face with his free hand as he sobs. Maz heart sinks as she already knows that wherever Rey is, it wasn’t good. Her goggles fog up as she asks again, “Where is she, Ben?”

Ben can’t say the words. Just the visual of that ship flying away with her inside makes him begin to cry again. When he closed his eyes it was all he could see.

“They took her, Maz. They took Rey…”

Maz’s ears rush with blood as she feels the cockpit around her spinning.

_No. It couldn’t be._

Not Rey. Their dear Rey. As Ben's cries continue, Maz peels her goggles from her face so she can cover her eyes with her hands. Everything was spinning to fast and she needs the darkness behind her eyelids to keep her from getting sick. Because she knew, as much as she wished to deny it, it was true. 

She was gone.

She snaps her head back up when she hears Ben speak again, “It’s all my fault. I should have-I didn’t...I wasn’t there and then they came and...fuck, I don’t know what to do, Maz,” Ben stutters and curses himself. Maz holds up her hands now, trying to stop him from putting this on himself.

“Ben, this is not your fault.”

“But she’s gone. I should have been the one who was...it should have been me,” he cries. Ben would give anything to swap places with Rey. He would do anything to keep her from the pain of being tortured by the Knights, by the First Order.

By Hux.

His blood boils at the thought of that cretin’s name and he has to take steady breaths to keep him from igniting his saber and destroying the nearest control panel.

_Control. Steady Breaths. Balance._

He just had to keep breathing even when he felt like he was drowning. He has to focus on the little breaths of his daughter, calming him as they fan out on his collar. She was still sleeping and aching in his arms from the whole ordeal.

He could not give in to his furious impulses. He had to keep her close. He had to keep her from any more pain. He worries her little mind couldn't take anymore.

Ben had to stay balanced.

Maz can’t stop trembling. She doesn’t know what to say. So she inquires after the little girl in his arms. “Is she okay?” Maz asks on the baby’s behalf but realizes that _okay_ was hardly suitable for the situation. “I mean is she hurt?”

Ben shifts Lorelei in his arms so her head moves from his shoulder and rests against his chest as he cradles her close, looking down at her little face, still sleeping. Still hints of the pain she feels riddled in her brows.

He shakes his head, “Whatever they did to Rey, we felt it. They must have sedated her with something because we can’t feel her anymore…” he says quietly but Maz makes out his words enough to feel like someone has blasted her in the heart.

“It hurt though. For a moment before she faded from us we could feel her pain, and then she was just gone. Lei, she...she’s scared and I know it hurts her the way it hurts me.” Ben cries again. Talking about it made it all hurt even more. The place in his mind and Lei’s where Rey should be just throbs with the twinge of being so empty. It made him feel so tired but he knew even if he were to lay down he wouldn’t find sleep.

Maz watches as this man looks so broken, and still trying to stay together for his daughter. She knows he blames himself for this. Maz wishes she could find the words to tell him that now, but there are bigger issues at hand. _Get safe first, cry later._

“You’re on the ship now?” she asks him.

He nods, “We're in hyperspace. Headed for Ach-To.”

“I’m headed there too. It may take a while since I’m coming from Takodana. You might get there first.”

“Okay,” he answers. His voice barely a whisper, his eyes not looking up from the baby in his arms.

“Ben. Look at me,” she asks and he does. Even through the blue hologram, she could see how his eyes were red, a stark contrast to his ever pale complexion. 

“We’ll get her back, okay? I’ll help you. Chewie will help you. Anything we need to get Rey back, we'll do it.”

Ben’s breath hitches as he speaks again, “Okay.” He means to show her gratitude and understanding, but words are not coming easily and he knows she would still understand.

They end the transmission a moment later. Maz says she will contact Chewie and get him up to speed. She figured Ben wouldn’t want to say it again. Just telling her had been so hard for him. So now, Ben is left in the quiet vibrations of hyperspace with only the little breaths of his daughter to ground him.

The blue and whites of lightspeed before him tunnel in their soothing swirls but it does nothing to ease him of his strife. He looks over for a moment at the flowers still in the co-pilots seat. It had been maybe an hour or so since he placed them there. Before all of this began.

Back when he thought he would get home to his family and he could braid flowers in their hair. Back when he had spent most of the morning dreaming of a wedding, of a life married to Rey. Back when he had been too distracted to be there for his family when they needed him most.

Ben can’t help but let the tears flow over again, silently this time as he just keeps his eyes on Lorelei. He tries to keep himself from sobbing so she can sleep as soundly as she possibly can. So she can try to forget how much hurt she is in.

He had taken the blanket from their bed and wrapped it around her, thinking it would keep her warm in space but also because it smelled like Rey. He wanted to surround her in anything that could possibly fill that gap in her mind, knowing well enough it wouldn't.

Only Rey herself could restore that gap. Still, he bundled her within the blanket hoping it would give her comfort. 

Ben had stood crying beside the crib with Lorelei in his arms for far too long before he realized they needed to get off Lah'mu, unsure if anyone else was headed for their home.

With her slumped against his shoulder he had loaded as much as he could into a backpack. He quickly made for the Moonstruck where he now sat ever helplessly as he clung to the sleeping baby who was without a proper seat. His arms were all he could offer her which made flying the ship a little difficult. It took a great amount of precision to even get out of the cave without scraping the sides but he managed somehow.

Ben feels shattered once again as he thinks of the final sight of their home. The fleeting glance he had paid it before ripping through the atmosphere and into lightspeed.

Ben had to leave behind the place where he had been the happiest in his life. The home that belonged to his family. Filled with so many memories and so much love...and he would never see it again.

He thinks of all the things he had to leave there. Only what he could fit in the backpack and in his arms could come with them. But he thinks of the clothes, the fort, the little toys, the memories those walls held. Even their toothbrushes and kitchenware felt so significant to him. Items he had once thought were trivial.

These months in utter happiness made him realize none of it was trivial. It was all he ever wanted and now, Ben just wanted it back. All of it. 

Wiping his eyes on the shoulder on his tunic he must move too much because just then, Lorelei stirs. She whines a little as she realizes they are not in the warmth of their home, but the coldness of space. He bundles her tighter in the blanket.

“Gnnh…” she groans weakly. Her mind still tender and although she has slept, she did not rest. He brings her closer to his face so he can kiss her forehead, still furrowed.

“I got you, Lei. I got you,” he tells her. She whines a little more, realizing once again that her mother is not with them and he feels great sadness flood from her. Sadness an eight-month-old baby should not be capable of.

Ben realizes now how his dream from all those months ago was a vision as he feared it to be. It was a warning, and he didn’t pay enough attention to it when he should have.

“ _If something happens to you, that means I couldn’t stop it. I would have failed,_ ” he had cried to Rey then.

“ _If something were to happen to me you will keep her safe. Even if you’re afraid you will always protect her. I believe that so much Ben,_ ”

Ben hugs Lorelei tighter as he thinks of Rey’s voice, trying to surround them in it like the blanket he has wrapped around their daughter.

“ _You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”_

Ben sobs as he thinks of her words. Rey believed in him. She believed that he would always keep their daughter safe. He isn’t sure he’s as strong as Rey believes he is, but he knows he will always keep Lorelei safe. 

"I've got you," he says once more to the baby.

Ben just feels ashamed that he couldn’t say the same for Rey.

 

* * *

 

Finn and Rose are in their quarters. They had returned from Batuu hours ago but they hadn’t stopped freaking out. They hadn’t eaten or slept or even spoken really. Neither of them able to voice their fears, too frightened to think they could be true.

Rose is pacing in the narrow space from the fresher door to the bed while Finn has his head buried in his hands as he sits on the edge of the bed.

They had been like this ever since Nurmi died in Rose’s arms. The woman who had been tortured to death and given them that most terrifying warning.

_“He will kill them. He will...he will take the child. Please…don’t let him take her.”_

Rose shudders again as she thinks of the words. A part of her fears that this had all been their fault. What if they had unknowingly led the knight to Nurmi’s home? What if it was their fault she was dead?

_What if it is their fault that Ben and Rey could be-_

Her thoughts are interrupted as there’s a knock at the door. They both jump, frantic from their thoughts. Rose runs over to open it, revealing Chewie, Waroo, and Malla.

They didn’t look good.

“What happened?” But no one speaks. Their eyes are downcast and they just stand there, unknowing how to start. Rose begs, “Tell us, please!”

Malla erupts into moaned cries and Waroo brings an arm to rest around his mother’s shoulders.

Rose’s stomach turns as Chewie begins to speak. His low moans are pained and faint, “I just spoke with Maz.”

Finn rushes over so he’s standing beside Rose, his hand clutching hers for dear life as they hear of the fate of the small family. “She...she had spoken with Ben. But she said-” he howls out in a small cry before he carries on and Finn and Rose shake where they stand. “She said that Rey was taken. The Knights took her.”

Rose goes pale and Finn thinks he might vomit again. “She’s gone?”

Chewie doesn’t really answer, at least not with words. It was instead a deep moan of grief and loss.

Finn had heard it from him only once before, the night that Han was killed.

Rose bursts into tears herself, sobbing, gasping for air as she thinks of Rey in the clutches of those monsters.

Waroo speaks now, his groans low with a similar ache to his father’s, “Ben is headed for Ach-To. Maz is going to pick them up there and then we’ll go from there. We’re going to get her back though, I know it.”

No one says anything. Of course they were going to try and get Rey back, but “the how” still remained. How the hell were they going to get Rey back from the First Order, under the clutches of not only the Knights, but Hux as well?

Rose can’t help it but the guilt is like a geyser in her chest and it explodes within her, “This is all my fault!”

“No!” the three wookiees bellow at her.

Even Finn looks at her shocked, “No. If anything it was my fault. I said that we should just leave when she needed our help.”

Chewie smacks him a little on the back of the head, “It isn’t your fault either,” he roars at him. “Ben and Rey, they’ve been hunted ruthlessly by these creatures. They would have just killed you too. And still, Rey would have been taken. They weren’t responding from their transceiver and there was no other way we could have warned them in time. But now, all that’s important is getting her back. I’ve already talked to Maz. When she meets up with Ben on Ach-To she will bring him back here. In numbers, we’ll have a better chance.”

“Ben is coming here?” Finn asks with wide eyes and Chewie nods. “Does Poe know about that?”

“Fuck Poe!” shouts Rose. Waroo actually laughs at that and it is the lightest the room has been in hours. Rose wipes her tears, determined and still enraged, “Poe doesn't speak for everybody.”

“I know that Rose, it’s just a little scary to think what Poe might do if Ben was here.” Rose understands. Poe would have a conniption and she knows that he may try to compromise Ben and their daughter.

 _Their daughter!_  Rose remembers.

“The baby! Is baby the okay?" She still doesn’t know the child’s name but thinks now is not the time to ask. 

Chewie sighs, “She’s okay. Ben is keeping her safe. But Maz said that Rey’s absence in the force has hurt them both. Scarred them. They all have a connection between the three of them and when Rey was taken, they couldn’t feel her anymore.”

Rose’s shoulder slump. She thought maybe since this was a baby she would not be totally aware of the devastation. But to hear that Rey’s connection to her means she is in such pain, such heartbreak, it makes Rose’s tears return and Malla comes forward now to wrap her arms around her as a mother would.

What were they going to do?

 

* * *

 

Rey isn’t awake but she knows this isn't sleep she's in. Her eyes won’t open and only darkness surrounds her. Only darkness, forever extending into a pitch black expanse and she doubts it will ever end.  

_Where was Lei? Where was Ben?_

And where was she?

No answers, just questions that make her want to cry out, call to them, bring them into her arms.

Her arms. She couldn't move them. She can’t move anything. She can’t even feel the force within her or the force of her family that always surrounds her mind.

Rey could only feel a hollowness that guts her deep. A painful kind of numb. Rey knows that even though she cannot move, her body is still in one piece. This pain was from something else. It was the absence of something that had been so constant within her as it intertwined with Ben and Lorelei. But now it was gone.

She could not feel the force.

All was quiet in the most deafening of ways as she falls further under this strange wave of suppression. This strange feeling of burning yet emptiness that pulses through her veins.

But Rey doesn’t care about the pain. She doesn’t care if they have killed her and she is to exist in this blank scape for all eternity.

Rey only cares that Ben and Lorelei are safe.

She can only hope they are not in this same pain.

 _But had they been taken too?_ Rey doesn't know and her renewed fear for her family overshadows the agony she feels within her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor Rey. My poor everybody!!! 
> 
> Ben is in a big "Running Up that Hill" kind of state of mind. 
> 
> "And if I only could,  
> I'd make a deal with God,  
> And I'd get him to swap our places"
> 
> Here I go again trying to wedge my Kate Bush obsessions into this story. I know there's a lot of interpretations to that song but let me just pretend it applies to this situation!!! 
> 
> I don't know why I'm yelling, I just love Kate Bush, m'kay? 
> 
> On the bright side™ check out this sweet ass mood board that [moonlightgisaeng](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightgisaeng/pseuds/moonlightgisaeng) made for Lorelei! What a babe!!  
> 


	24. Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben stops by Ach-To for his ride and he and Lorelei are faced by someone from Ben's past.
> 
> Ya just gotta believe!!!  
>   
> This chapter is titled "Believe" in case you didn't notice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I kinda sorta maybe cried while writing this. Not in the "totally devastating" way but in the "I literally can't breathe because there are too many feels in my chest and it's collapsing my lungs" kind of way. 
> 
> My 11-year-old sister's verbal rating for this chapter: "Okay, do you just like to make people cry? Is that it?"
> 
> That being said good luck! I love you!
> 
> Stick around for the end notes if you wanna read how far I've gone off the deep end and analyzed this story to parallel Disney's Tarzan but specifically the soundtrack (because Phil Collins is next on the list of my unhealthy obsessions after Kate Bush).

Ben has the blanket wrapped around both of them now. The gust of the wind and sea hitting them fiercely as he walks up along the pathway of stone stairs. He had landed the Moonstruck on a makeshift landing pad of stone. He left the backpack on board and just brought with him the blanket and a handful of dry cereal he was offering Lorelei. She wasn't particularly interested, having lost her appetite from earlier that morning but he needed her to eat something. 

He holds his hand out before her and she picks out what she wants, gravitating towards the blue ones as she always did. His other arm keeps her close as he walks further up the path. He halts as he finds himself among a small village. There are only a handful of the villagers scattered around. _Fish nuns_ as Rey had called them once. They give him a twisted eye, apparently not a fan of him.

Rey had mentioned they were a little judgmental.

_Rey._

He feels traces of her energy here. It’s like the blanket that surrounds them. Both Ben and Lei could sense hints of Rey on this island the same way they pick up her scent in the fabric. Lorelei coos a little and Ben smiles, "I know, I feel her too..." He says softly. Ben marches on, searching for anything of Rey he can find.

And then he sees the hut to the far right.

Her hut. _Their_ hut. The one where they had first touched each other through the bond. Just their fingers and still such immense power and affection had coursed through them.

He steps forward, ignoring the chatter of the nuns as he pushes the cloth of the curtain aside and instantly they are surrounded in the lingering traces of Rey that reside in this room, within these bricks. The nuns must have rebuilt it completely after Luke’s outburst.

Ben sees the stone bench where she slept and the baskets that sat on by the fire pit. This is where he and Rey really began their true connection. This is where he finally understood that his fascination with Rey was not just curiosity or interest, but where he knew he cared for her...immensely.

Sensing Rey’s signature, Lorelei perks up a little. She looks around frantically, confused why she cannot see her mother when she can feel her so close.

“Lei,” Ben calls to her and her eyes look to his. He brushes his hand past her cheeks, reveling in the softness as he watches her. For the briefest moment the shine returns to her eyes and Ben is relieved. He wants to see this light remain. He does not wish to see it fade so soon. So, he speaks to her of Rey and all this hut meant to their family. Before they knew the depth of the bond, far before they knew it would lead them to Lorelei herself.

“Lei, this is where your mother and I first realized that we truly were not enemies. We realized we weren’t alone.” Ben thinks back to that night. Rey spoke to him so openly, all the words she had never said to anyone, not even herself.

No one had ever done that with him before. No one had ever let him in. But she did and he realized then that once she had, he never wanted to leave.

“And daddy knew he loved her then. I’ve always loved her. Even when mommy still thought daddy was stupid.”

“Dada gah ba da,” Lorelei says and Ben can’t help but gush at her little voice. His name.

“Yes, I was. And I’m still stupid most of the time...but mommy loves me anyway. I can’t imagine why…” he whispers that last part. He still doesn’t know how he could ever deserve Rey. How he could ever deserve her love.  

He sits down on the stone bed, horribly uncomfortable. He winces slightly as he thinks of Rey sleeping here, even if it was only for a few days over three years ago.

Realizing her mother was not here and that the great gap in their minds had not been refilled, merely the illusion of Rey, Lorelei whimpers and nestles back against Ben’s chest.

“I know, sweetheart. It isn’t the same. It isn’t her…” Ben’s head falls as the light in her eyes fades once again and she clings to him. He shrouds her in the blanket, trying to remind her of Rey’s scent there. But she knew the blanket was not her mother's arms. She ignores his attempts to distract her, falling silent and disappointed once again.

They hold to each other, Lorelei’s little hands gripping his tunic and nuzzling her head against him. He knew her head still ached as much as his own. He is unsure if it would ever go away. Perhaps it was to be a constant reminder of who they had lost. Unrelenting until they get her back.

If that was the case, then Ben would take the pain. Anything to guide him in getting Rey back to them. To punish him for his incompetence in keeping her safe. He just wished it did not hurt Lei. He wished he could spare her from this heartbreak.

Ben leans to press kisses to her temple, trying to soothe the ache beneath them, knowing no solace will be found. Still, it helps him breathe as he holds her close to him.

And then suddenly there’s a gust of wind that blows the curtain from the entrance aside, flapping furiously with the gusts. Ben turns his back to the wind, trying to keep the baby in his hold warm.

But then he feels something. Something so familiar. And yet he hasn’t felt it since…

Since the night she passed.

_Leia._

Before he can manage to turn around, her voice meets his ears, and he feels it echo through his ribcage it’s so clear.

“Hello, Ben,” he whips around, rising from his place on the stone as he takes in the sight before him. The blue glow of his mother as a force ghost.

“Mom?” he croaks out.

She gives him a sad kind of smile, “Yes, I know. I changed my hair,” she cracks as she walks towards him. She gestures to the slight beard on his face, “And it looks like you did too. Looks good. Suits you very nicely.” 

The small amount of cereal that remained in Ben's palm fell to the floor. Lorelei senses her father’s shock. His bewilderment and surprise too foreign for her to interpret and in her uncertainty she begins to whine, feeling uneasy. Ben’s attention from his mother falls as he shushes Lorelei gently while he cradles her in his arms. Attempting to calm her while his heart beats faster. The eyes of his mother trained on him and the baby and Leia is transfixed by the tenderness her son shows.

“This is your daughter?” she asks him, already knowing the answer. She came closer and hovered a hand above Lorelei’s back. She cannot touch, Leia knows, but she likes to imagine the warmth she would feel beneath her palm.

“Yes,” Ben answers. His voice shaky.

Leia smiles as the girl spins her head around and meets her gaze. Her eyes so much like Ben’s. She gives a slight chuckle, transcended by the surreal sight of this girl. The daughter of her son and his beloved Rey. Leia’s granddaughter.

“I was there that night. The night I passed,” she tells him. Frozen but attentive, Ben listens, curious as to what she will say. “I saw Rey appear to you, how she held you and you held her.”

Ben remembers. It had been the moment that sparked everything else and he would never forget it. He will never forget how her embrace had kept him from falling apart. Her arms encasing him completely.

“I can’t see everything. I can’t _know_ everything, that would be most exhausting,” she chuckles, “but I saw enough then to know that Rey was everything to you. I knew at that moment, that together, you two would find your family,” she nods down to the baby.

Ben’s lip quivers as his mother speaks. She was right, that moment had led to their family. His family that was now missing someone.“Rey was taken. They got her, mom,” he cries.

Leia nods, “I know. I felt it. I’m so sorry, Ben.” She had sensed the great rift within her son. Within her granddaughter. The pain they carried with them while they clung to each other tightly.

Ben cries openly now, “I don’t know what to do. It’s all my fault. I need to get her back but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to find her without putting our daughter in danger.”

Leia’s heart fills with sorrow as her son crumbles before her. His fears attacking him all at once. His fear for Rey. His fears for their baby. His fear of not being strong enough. “Ben, look at me,” she asks of him and he abides. His dark eyes that match the pair of the baby in his arms.

“The love you hold for that woman is not something one often sees. Your ardency for both Rey and your daughter is so great that the force itself bound you together. I know you’re scared and I know you blame yourself,” his eyes cast down, “but I also know that you can do it. You will find a way to bring her back to you.”

Ben wants to believe her. These words that she says to him so readily. He had denied her words of comfort as a boy, thinking she only meant to confuse him. He hadn’t believed her when she dropped him off at the Academy and told him that, “Everything would be okay” because it wasn’t okay. Ben doesn’t remember the last words of hers he could believe. And despite that, he wants so badly to believe her now. He wants to be the man she thinks he’s strong enough to be, the same man Rey believes in.

He nods slowly as he speaks as clearly as he can, trying to keep himself from revealing too much to Lorelei’s already aching mind. “Okay, mom. Okay.”

Leia wants so badly to hug him. To pull him into her arms and feel for herself how her boy was no longer a boy. No longer that gangly teenager she left with Luke all those years ago. He was now a father. A man with darkness but guided by the light within his daughter and the woman he loved.

She supposes her smiles and loving gazes will have to do. She watches as Ben looks from his daughter back to her, something else clouding his mind.

But she already knew what he was going to say.

“Mom...about dad- I’m so sorry for everything. I...I was scared and alone and I...I regret every day what happened. I have so much I should regret every day and still they love me," Ben's eyes look back down at his daughter. He knew his family loved him. He could feel it. They loved him when he still thought there was nothing about him that could be loved.

“No. I’m sorry Ben. I never should have sent you away. I should have helped you, kept you safe but I just didn’t know how. I just wanted you to feel better and I thought that sending you away was the answer but I was wrong. You had been in so much pain and I didn’t realize.”

Lorelei makes a soft little noise, confused by what transpires before her. Enchanted though by the blue glow of the woman and the energy she senses within her. Hints of her feeling like Ben’s signature. Similar enough for Lorelei to know it is safe.

Leia’s eyes float back down to the baby as she continues on, “And your father...he always believed you could come home. Always.” Tears persist in Ben’s eyes as his mother speaks of his own dad. “And you did. You found your home with Rey...and your daughter.” Leia is entranced by her. This little being, so small in Ben’s arms. “She’s so beautiful, Ben. Her eyes, just like yours.”

Ben gives a little laugh as he brushes Lei’s short hair back a little behind her ears, “As are these,” exposing the ears for the statement that they were. Leia laughs as she recognizes them instantly. Still, they look smaller than Ben’s ears had been as a baby.

Leia leans forward so her face is right before the girl, “I’ve seen just parts of your life with her. Not as much as I would like, I’m still getting used to this force nonsense,” Ben gives a slight chuckle, wiping his eyes a little. “But I’ve never heard her name.”

Ben smiles, always glad to have a reason to say their daughter’s name, “Lorelei. But we call her Lei.”

Both the eyes of the baby and the older woman snap to Ben's face. Lorelei does it because he has said her name and she is attentive to him even in her fragile state. Leia looks to him in awe, understanding the weight of his words for what they were. Although they gave Lorelei her name as something as her own, it honored those who came before her.

Leia, her grandmother.

“That’s...that’s beautiful Ben,” Leia feels her own tears surge forward. Her son had named his daughter in honor of her own name.

“We thought so,” he says with a slight smile as he sees Lei reach out her hand. Her little fingers stretch as they extend out to the blue glow of the woman perched before her face but it goes right through. What Leia wouldn’t give to hold her in her arms. To hug Ben and reassure him that all would be okay.

They hear the arrival of another ship. Ben recognizes the sound of the engines, the Epoch Swift. _Maz._ She was here.

Leia knows their time here is ending and she tries to make it count, “Ben. I know you’re scared, and all feels so helpless. But you are going to find Rey. You will bring her back home to you and Lorelei,” she says the name aloud, loving how it sounds on her lips. "I believe that. I believe in you."

Ben nods, tears running down his cheeks. Lorelei’s own begin too, feeling the great sadness of her father. She didn’t wail, but her lip quivered and she sniffled. Ben holds out his hand, reaching for his mother. Leia does the same. Her hand hovering above his scarred cheek.

“I love you, mom,” Ben doesn't remember the last time he said that to her. 

Leia’s tears finally fall, “I love you, Ben.” She looks down once more, “And I love you, my dear Lorelei.” The room pulses with energy, three generations sitting together. The radiance fueled with love and still lingering sadness.

Leia stands, clapping her hands and the smile returning to her face as she wipes her tears. “Now," she says this as clearly as she can, "go find our Rey.” 

“I will,” Ben vows.

Leia is about to fade from them when her eyes go a little wide, “Oh, and Ben!”

“Yes?” he asks.

“When you bring her home, I expect you to make that girl a proper Solo. Didn’t your mother teach you to marry the girl before you got her pregnant?”

Ben gives a laugh, eyes shining from his tears. He very much intended to do so, but plays along, “I guess she didn't.”

"Smart ass," Leia says under her breath and with a final smirk, his mother fades beyond his sight.

He waits for a moment, taking in the last of his mother he can sense before he knows she is gone. He rises, determined, and makes for outside where he knows Maz will be. He marches back down the steps.

He kisses the tears from Lorelei’s cheeks as he descends the stone steps, trying to restore some sense of hope in her. Anything to pull her from the despair he knows is burrowed within her. He rounds back around to the stone landing pad and finds the Epoch parked beside the Moonstruck. The ramp lowers and Maz rushes down as fast as her little legs could carry her.

Ben kneels slowly, keeping Lei supported in one arm as the small pirate woman all but barrels into him. Wrapping him and the baby in a most fierce hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers as she pulls back a little to look at them both properly. Maz doesn’t realize she had given them the hug that Leia could not. The physical feeling of someone holding them is more than welcome. “We’re gonna find her. We’re gonna bring her back to us,” Maz tells him. Words of comfort so much like his mother’s.

Ben hugs her back. His mother, Maz, Chewie, Chewie’s family, and of course, Rey herself all believe in him. They would get Rey back.

“I know,” he says softly. Because he does know. He knows he will find her.

He had to believe that too.

 

* * *

 

From the mouth of the cave at the highest peak of the island, another watches as Ben is held by the short arms of Maz. His daughter wrapped snuggly in his own.

How much he has grown. Not even in size, but in mind and in heart.

“You didn’t come,” Leia says to him. She doesn’t sound disappointed. He knows she’s glad to have the time alone with her son. With her granddaughter. But still, she wanted her brother to feel her joy.

“Ben doesn’t want to see me. He’s under too much stress right now. I don’t think it would have been very sensitive of me if I just dropped in. Especially if his mind is bonded to the baby's.”

Leia nods, understanding and grateful for thinking about what was best not only for Ben but also Lorelei. “My granddaughter, Lorelei,” Leia says proudly. “Luke, she’s so amazing. So bright.”

Luke smiles. He could feel it from when they first arrived on the island. The girl was strong, “I know. Her energy is much like the balance that exists between Rey and Ben. I just hope Ben can keep that balance with Rey gone.”

Leia strides before him, speaking in defense of her son, “He will. He loves their daughter. That will keep him balanced until Rey is back by their side,” she says though he knows she fears that too. She fears they could lose Ben to the dark once again, right after they got him back.

Luke worries and begins to think of the other possibilities. _What if Ben couldn’t keep that balance? What if they never got Rey back? What if Lorelei grows in_ conflict _like her father?_

 _No_. Luke denies all those thoughts. He had doubted Ben once before. He was wrong to do that. He will not doubt him now.

Luke believes in Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs in Phil Collins* Put your faith in what you most believe in!!! Two worlds, one family!! Trust your heart, let fate decide!!! 
> 
> AhHhh!!
> 
> I know I've mentioned this before but the intro scene to Tarzan is such a mood. I feel like instead of the gorillas and Tarzan's parents as the two worlds one family, that Ben and Lorelei among the living and Luke and Leia among the force makes it two worlds but all one family. 


	25. Prognosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soldar arrives to Coruscant with an unconscious Xid and Rey. He reveals the plan he's been brewing to the Supreme Leader. Maz has a talk with Ben about her plans that make him (understandably) a little tense. 
> 
> Rey wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop Woop! We've passed 100k words! I never thought I would have spent so much time on this story. To be honest when I first started outlining I was unsure if it would get past 6 chapters. Now we're at 25 and not even close to being done *maniacal laugh*
> 
> I just want to preface this by saying thank you for all the feedback I got from the last chapter. Honestly, the last three have been such a shit storm for our space babes and you are all taking it really well. I'm proud. 
> 
> Also, thank you so much to the few buddies I've seen over on Tumblr! Feedback from anywhere is really encouraging! My username is [thebitchesofdathomir](https://thebitchesofdathomir.tumblr.com/) over there as well. It's basically just Lorelei update posts and star wars memes, just warning you. 
> 
> Thank you as always! Love you all!!

Hux is on the platform, waiting for the small ship to arrive. He had rushed over when Lennox reported that they had received word from Soldar. He was returning with some intriguing cargo.

At first, Hux had honestly forgotten who Soldar was until he realized it was the other knight that accompanied Xid on their more private investigations.

Hux didn’t mind that the two had left. He admired that they were driven enough to see their circumstances as incompetent and searched for the fugitives elsewhere. Once Hux became more acquainted with the other knights, particularly their enthusiasm to make fools of themselves, he realized it was a most astute decision.

Hux didn’t know where the other four knights were this morning or if they were even on Coruscant. Perhaps they had taken one of the ships to “investigate” somewhere like Canto Bight like they did about a month ago. 

It was the first time in their lives that they were given so much freedom. It was made obvious by their near childish antics, impulsiveness, and complete lack of decorum. Hux naturally blamed Kylo as their former Master for not keeping them in line and likely being the cause for this.

Of course, they were now hunting him down so Kylo was probably aware of that as well. By now even Kylo must be aware of his ever incompetent teachings.

Even if he had taught the girl more of the force, Hux figured he was a poor instructor in that as well since he got her pregnant. Something that Hux is positive a Jedi was not supposed to be.

The false Jedi that was about to be delivered any minute now.

Hux is disappointed they do not bring the child and Kylo with them though. Apparently, the girl had given them enough trouble but that was all that Lennox had said. Lennox had spoken to only Soldar, unsure of what happened to Xid. Xid, who Hux considered to be the leader of the operation. But perhaps things had changed in the past months.

Finally, a relatively small black shuttle descends on the landing pad.  Slowly, the ramp lowers and Soldar walks down with an unconscious Xid at his side. The med droids swarm and take the taller knight from Soldar’s hold. Hux walks towards him, realizing just then how his arm was curled into his chest and his hand was gone.

He ignores that though as he inquires after the girl, “Where is she?”

“She’s still on board. I gave her double of the serum more than I was supposed to so she may be out for a while,” he gestures back behind him and the handful of stormtroopers beside Hux march forward to claim her.

“I see,” Hux says, his eyes focusing on the troopers ascension up the ramp.

Soldar isn’t sure if Hux’s voice always sounded so disapproving or if he was actually upset. He tries to explain himself a little, hoping the tone would recede. He had lost a hand to get the girl here. “She gave us more of a fight than we expected. We never even saw Kylo but once Xid hit the ground I knew we had to leave with what we could. Especially since I had already...well,” he holds up his arm, to show his hand that had been cauterized by the strike of a lightsaber.

Hux holds up his own cybernetic hand, Kylo’s handiwork though not from his lightsaber. “Well, they certainly have a knack for it then. I’m sure the med bay will fit you with a suitable prosthetic as they have done for me.”

“I’m sure they will. Thank you, sir,” Soldar says, disliking the idea of having a hand no better than a droid. And then, as if to mock him, one of the med droids rushes forward and pulls him to the side to begin scanning him. The cold metallic hands running over his arm.

Hux steps forward when the troopers bring the girl out. She's unconscious, two ysalamir darts protruding from her torso and a force suppression collar the stormtroopers had just put on her. She may be sedated but they weren't taking any chances. They bring her out on a gurney, her eyes closed and hair tangled around her face. She might as well have been dead and it pleases Hux immensely.

The stormtroopers await his orders, “Place her in a cell. We’ll be moving her to the Ascendancy in the morning.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” They head off and Hux walks back inside the building. He gestures for Lennox to follow, and he embarks off to where Soldar is being tended to.

“I have some things I need to discuss with you,” Hux says to the knight who is getting a nasty looking salve smeared over the burnt wound.

Soldar thought Hux was joking at first. Here he sat without his hand and the man wanted to have a meeting? When he realizes it was a serious request, Soldar rushes after them, practically dragging the med droid with him until he shakes it off, insisting it could be continued later. He did not wish to upset the Supreme Leader any further.

The three of them file into the nearest turbo lift and Soldar stands quietly behind the two men as they discuss their plans for tomorrow, “I want all the stormtroopers to be on board before the day is out. I don’t want to be waiting hours tomorrow for all the various ranks to make their way on. I want to be off the planet by ten o’clock.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Lennox answers, “it will be done.” The turbo lift stops and Lennox leaves, typing away on the holopad. Soldar tries to catch on to what they were discussing but Hux mentions it anyway. Seemingly looking for a way to discuss his creation. .

“The Ascendancy makes liftoff tomorrow. A complete seven months since construction started. The fastest a vessel of this size has ever been made, even in Imperial days and even if it didn’t feel very quick to me. But slave work is rather progressive when given correct handling.”

“Of course,” Soldar says.

The turbo lift doors open again, this time in what looked to be a throne room of sorts. Something temporary Hux must have arranged for in his months of staying on Coruscant.

Hux strides forward, Soldar follows behind but from a distance, taking in the massive space. The red curtains that hang around the room remind him of Snoke’s throne room. And Hux’s clothes, Soldar just now notices, looked more ornate than before. They were still black but had that similar look to Snoke’s robes as well.

Soldar smirks under his helmet, realizing that Hux had certainly taken after the man. He steels himself when Hux speaks again. “Tomorrow the media will be focused on the Ascendancy’s transition to space. I figure we can unveil the news of the girl’s capture in a few days, followed closely by her execution.”

Soldar would like nothing more than to see the woman who sliced off his arm be beheaded before the entire galaxy, but his own plan spears through his thoughts. And since he can sense that Hux’s disappointment is evident, he decides to share it with him. “I apologize, sir. I know we’ve only returned with the girl in custody. I take full responsibility for not returning with all three of them, sir. Xid was already out by the time we were back on the ship. I had to make a call. If we didn’t leave then, we wouldn’t even have the girl. They would have killed us and then they would made off for some other backwater planet.”

Hux sighs, “Well, it seems Kylo has likely done so already. He’s probably fled further into the depths of the galaxy with the child I don’t know how we will locate them now. These eight months have been long enough and I do not wish for it to happen again.”

Soldar recognizes this as his opportunity, “I understand your agitation. It is likely that Kylo is even further from our grasp now, making him impossible to find.” Hux sneers, not liking that claim, but he sees that Soldar is not finished, “But I don’t think we’ll need to find him anymore.”

Hux’s eyes go wide, “I beg your pardon?! He must answer for his crimes!”

“I mean to say that we don’t need to find Kylo. We just need Kylo to find us.”

Hux looks skeptical but the anger in his eyes has receded, “Explain yourself.”

Soldar smirks beneath the safety of his helmet, “We have the girl. The mother of his child. I think with a little motivation, Kylo would come crawling back to claim her, to take her back. Or who knows? Maybe even begging to trade places with her. At that point we arrest him and he and the girl can be executed together.”

Hux nods, considering the concept for a moment. The visual of Kylo and his whore on their knees and waiting for their death was very tempting, even if it meant he delayed the girl’s execution until then. He clears his throat before speaking again, “And what about the child?

Kylo won’t risk jeopardizing the child if he returns to the First Order. He will stow it away somewhere. How would you suggest we find it? I don’t want it out there getting stronger. I can't have some brat trying to kill me in fifteen years when she decides to avenge her parents.”

Soldar anticipated this and he thinks of the proposal Xid had made all those months ago. It is a most progressive course of action. Even if it was not initially Soldar’s idea, he knows he needs to assure Hux that it was all possible. He needed Hux to realize that he could handle it.

“Well, without the defense of her parents, the child’s mind will be exposed. I believe with further training, myself and the other knights could locate it’s mind on our own after we have arrested Kylo. Or killed him. Whatever you prefer.”

“I see…” Hux sneers. So many enticing opportunities. He can see how Soldar has thought tactfully about this. He had the mind of a good leader, unlike the other knights. Maybe better than Xid, the knight Hux suspected was the most powerful.

Perhaps he was wrong.

Soldar continues, ignoring the strange pain of his hand that was no longer there. “All we have to do now is make sure that Kylo has proper ‘encouragement’. Anything to speed up the inevitable timeline of him coming to find her. Because _he will_ come for her, but the more pain she is in, the more predictable and desperate he will be.”

“I must say, Soldar, that is quite intriguing. Much more _involved_ than just dragging him here but it does sound like quite the show. I think it will be good for the galaxy to see their former leader a blubbering mess as he begs for the life of his Jedi slut.”

Soldar nods, “My thoughts exactly.”

“We could ‘interrogate’ the girl and broadcast it for everyone to see. Once that insufferable idiot sees what we’ve done to her he most certainly will come crying on our doorstep. Kylo will know it’s foolish but he won’t be able to stay away. His emotions have always been so extreme. Even when that Danskee fool laid everything out for him, he could have evaded his exposure but his emotions overtook him. He never was very subtle.”

“I know what you mean,” Soldar knows very well.

“Very well. I will call off the execution and leave her in your ever capable han-” Hux stops himself as he remembers Soldar just had a hand cut off and tries to think of a different phrase. Still bitter about the loss of his own, “ha…hospitality.”

Soldar hears his misstep but notices his efforts cover it up. He appreciates it, strangely enough. “Thank you, sir. I’ll be prepared to load up on the Ascendancy in the morning.”

“Excellent. Now, I will release you to go to a real medbay.” He is impressed by Soldar’s passiveness to his physical pain and determination to this mission to disregard the medical attention he needed. Another indication that he was a more fit leader than Xid. Xid who, despite his wounds, did not deliver anything on this mission.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader. I’ll speak with you tomorrow.”

Soldar leaves and can’t help but feel proud of himself. For so long had he been a follower, always in Xid’s shadow. Now he was working directly with the Supreme Leader while Xid was still unconscious from his hasty behavior.

Things were changing.

 

* * *

 

Ben leaves Lorelei with Maz while he went to go get the backpack from the Moonstruck. Maz gushes at the child, amazed at her absolute beauty. But she also picks up on her somber energy, the loss of her mother hurting her the way she knows it has hurt Ben.

Ben rushes back in with the backpack over his shoulder and sets it down in the bedroom they had once stayed in when Lorelei was first born. He feels small traces of Rey here as well.

Maz mentioned that they should travel together on one ship which meant, for now, they were leaving the Moonstruck behind. Ben figured that was smart, to stay together. He walks back over to the cockpit where Maz was preparing the engines as best she could with the baby in her lap. Ben comes forward and helps her by finishing the sequences and taking Lorelei back into his arms. His were longer and easier to multitask whereas Maz had a hard enough reaching for things without an infant in her lap.

Within moments they are in the air and Ben watches as the surface of the island fades from view. The island where he had seen his mother.

Maz calls his attention back to her, “If you go to the kitchen, I have some milk in the fridge. I put some baby formula in it if she’s hungry,” Maz offers.

Ben had only given Lei a handful of cereal. She hadn’t had her usual meal that morning but he feels how their brief surge of hope has restored her slightly and her appetite is returning. “Thanks, Maz.” Ben rises, grabbing an empty bottle from the backpack and heading to the small kitchen. It was more of a counter that protruded slightly from the wall near the bedroom.

He keeps Lorelei steady on his hip while he heats up the milk a little and then resorts to using the force to pour it into the bottle. He didn’t trust himself to pour it manually with only one hand and the nimble movements of the ship. Once the lid is on he passes the bottle to Lorelei and she takes the bottle in her hands and he helps her hold it up.

Just then he feels the ship shudder beneath his boots before going steady again and he realizes Maz has gone to lightspeed.

 _She already has a destination in mind then_.

Curious, Ben walks back to the cockpit. He grabs a beanie for Lorelei's head from the backpack first, worried about her in the coldness of space. She makes a small noise as he places it on her head, she's comfortable. More so than she had been in hours.

He turns the corner and as he speaks he sees Maz jump a little, not hearing that he had walked back in, “Where are we headed?” he asks her.

Maz doesn’t respond to his question. Instead, she just focuses on the baby now feeding, “Oh, good, you found it. I know it’s probably not what she’s used to drinking but it still has all the important nutrients she needs.”

Ben senses she is stalling. She’s avoiding his question. “Maz, where are we going?” his voice is a little more tense the second time around.

Maz sighs and slumps her head a little. There was no use in hiding it from him. He was obviously going to find out sooner or later and she should really brief him before they arrived. She didn’t want him throwing a fit when they got to the hangar. She supposed the fit would have to happen now.

“Arkanis.”

Ben’s eyes go wide. She did not just say that. The planet where the Resistance was hiding. It was the planet Ben had personally chosen for them for their safety. But to bring a baby to a war base, riddled with people who despised him? He didn't like it at all. “Arkanis? That’s your plan?”

Maz holds up her hands, “Now, Ben. Try to understand-”

“Understand? You want to drag us to the Resistance and expect them not to arrest or kill me? I don’t want Lorelei near anyone that has any reason to hurt her.” Ben holds Lei closer as he speaks. He wasn’t taking any chances.

“No one is gonna hurt her. _Or you_. Everything will be fine, they understand what’s happening and what you have done for them. Chewie is spreading the news now. He, Waroo, Malla, Finn, and Rose are getting everyone ready. They will understand what’s at stake here.”

Ben scoffs. He doubts that is likely. “They won’t help me. I’ve done too much bad for them to look at the good. We can’t go to them.”

Maz pushes him towards the co-pilots seat. He stays tense though, focusing only on the baby and helping her hold up the bottle. He could be so stubborn. “Ben, will you sit down, please.”

He looks at her, chewing the inside of his cheek. He hates this. He already feels so vulnerable and he was about to be thrown to the entire Resistance knowing they would only doubt him more. More than he doubts himself already.

But this was Maz. Ben decides he will at least hear her out, consider all options. He couldn’t think about himself. He had to think what was best for Lei and how he could help Rey. Maz is sensible enough and he knows she wouldn’t intentionally lead them into danger, especially not with Lorelei. He sits down and Maz stands before him so she can place a hand on his shoulder. She knows this is hard for him.

It’s hard for all of them.

“Listen. I know you don’t want to hear this but the truth is that just you, Chewie, and I just aren’t gonna cut it. We alone won't be able to get her back all in one piece.” Ben sighs. He knew she was right. “If we want to get Rey back, we need all the help we can get. The Resistance will help us. They will help _you_.”

Ben is desperate. He knows that. He needs to get Rey back and if that means going to the Resistance, then maybe that was what he needed to do. He looks down at Lorelei before answering, her head leaned against his chest as she drinks from the bottle. He adjusts her beanie, so it covers both of her ears completely.

 _Even if you’re afraid you will always protect her. I believe that so much Ben..._ He hears Rey's voice again. He knows what he has to do.

“I guess...they are the best option if we want help. As long as it’s safe for Lei and they understand we need to get Rey back, I don’t care what they think about me.”

Maz pats him on the arm, “Thank you, Ben. It will all be alright soon.” Ben just nods, closing his eyes for a moment.

 _Soon_. How soon could Rey be back? How soon is now?

Maz’s eyes travel down to the baby, smiling at the beanie Ben has put on her, recognizing it as the one she knitted for her. “She’s grown so much.”

Ben smiles, actually smiles and Maz is so glad to see it. “She has. She’s done so much, learned so much. She’s even been using the force sometimes,” and then the smile fades, “That’s why our transceiver was down.”

“She broke your transceiver?” 

“Well, not on purpose. She made some baby food explode. She didn’t like the flavor,” he says, realizing he should have just gone out in the rain last night and walked to the ship to check for parts. Maybe then he would have heard the messages from Maz and Chewie telling him the Knights were coming for Lah’mu.

“That’s why we couldn’t get ahold of you,” Maz realizes and Ben nods.

“How did you find out Lah’mu was compromised? How did you and Chewie know to call us?”

Maz sighs. She had yet to tell him of what had happened to Nurmi. So much sadness. So much loss. “Finn and Rose were dropping off some of the old supplies on Batuu, to Nurmi. I guess that some of the knights were already there and it led them to her home.”

“To Nurmi’s?”

“Yes,” Maz answers solemnly. Ben’s eyes go wide. He already knows what that means. He knows well enough the knights would not show her mercy.

“I’m so sorry,” he says to Maz, his heart sinking in his chest.

“All she wanted was for you to be protected. Finn and Rose said she pleaded on her last breath for Lorelei to be kept safe.”

Ben nods. Nurmi sacrificed herself for his family and he feels the sorrow of her loss deep within his chest. He tries his best to keep his walls around Lorelei’s mind safe, even from himself. From further despair.

“Finn and Rose,” Ben says, “Did they...they got away? They’re okay?”

Maz looks at him curiously for a moment as he inquired after them, making sure these two people were alright. The man he once nearly split open. “Yeah. They're waiting at the Resistance for us to arrive. They’re about as okay as you can be after someone dies in your arms. ”

Ben understands. He doesn’t know how to be _okay_ either. But he needs to try, if not for himself, then for Lorelei.

For Rey.

 

* * *

 

 

She suddenly awakes, gasping for air. Her heaving breaths are loud in her ears as the air of the small cramped space closes around her.

Rey takes in what she can while her eyes adjust. The door beyond her is sealed and the red glow of the light above her is enough to see that there are tally marks riddled on the walls. Angrier and hastier than the ones Rey made back on Jakku.

This is a cell.

Her body aches. Everything sore and disturbed from the events that had happened. The events that brought her world crashing down. 

Her mind flashes back to the last thing she could remember. The strike of something hitting her chest. Another at her side. And then her head hitting the ground. The darkness that consumed her as she tried to call her daughter's name.

The Knights had taken her she knows. And now she is meant to wait in this cell for either torture or execution.

She looks down at herself. She’s still in her nightgown and robe. The capsules that had struck her are gone but angry red punctures remain. Her shaking hands travel further up her body until they feel the cold casing of a collar around her neck.

 _A force suppressant collar,_ she knows well enough.

She doubted she even needed it. They shot enough of that other crap into her she knew it would likely render her powerless for who knows how long.

That continued emptiness courses through her. Only Rey’s fear fills her as the force is not there to accompany her. Nothing to reassure her that Ben and Lorelei were safe. For all she knew, Ben was in one of these cells too.

Which meant Lorelei could be in the hands of those monsters.

“No,” she breathes out and tries to scramble to her feet to get closer to the door, to see anything that could. But when she rises, she is pulled back, choking slightly. She plummets back to the floor and sees that the collar is chained to the wall. She cannot move from where she is without strangling herself.

Panic begins to strike her to the full extent as she realizes how useless this is. The mental image of her daughter in the hands of the knights. In the hands of Hux!

She sobs out, begging for it not to be true. Rey will take anything, all the pain, all the agony. As long as it meant they would not touch her daughter. As long as they would not hurt Ben.

As she cries and tries to pry her fingers under the collar, she can only hope that this tormented nightmare of hers was not real. She can only hope Ben got her away and they were far from here. Wherever _here_ really was.

_Please be safe. Please just keep her safe. I love you..._

She knows he could not hear her. Without the force, she knows for the first time in what feels like forever, Ben is not there to hear her. The silence is suffocating as she sobs within these filthy walls bathed in crimson light, surrounded by tally marks that could only haunt her further.

She never wants Lorelei to feel the need to strike such marks. The more marks that were made, the more a person broke inside as they waited for something that would never come. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux has become the ultimate Snoke fanboy and stole his curtains and his clothes (what about the pervy slippers? That remains to be seen..) 
> 
> Also, this is going to sound really pretentious but yeah, that one "How Soon is Now?" reference was Ben probably thinking back to his days at the Academy when he listened to The Smiths lol.


	26. Accomodations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Lorelei arrive with Maz to Arkanis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be just the first part of the whole "Introduction to the Resistance" thing but it got so long so it's going to come in pieces. I didn't exactly plan for it to go this way but we'll see where it goes from here. I know it's probably not what you were expecting but we'll get there.
> 
> ¯\\(°_o)/¯
> 
> I don't like this one so much. It gave me a really hard time but whatever...

 

Night on Arkanis usually brought rain, but tonight it was pouring. The thundering winds and rain of the storm making it most ominous looking. But inside the Resistance hangar stood three warm wookiees, waiting to see the Epoch Swift enter the hangar any minute now.

Malla held Chewie’s hand and their son paced behind them nervously, moaning and groaning every few steps. His parents didn’t bother to tell him to stop. They all felt that way.

Besides the three of them, the hangar was empty. Chewie insisted that when they arrived, they would be the only ones to greet them, thinking about what would be the least disturbing to the baby. This upset Poe greatly, who insisted there were in the middle of a war. To request they all stay off to the side and ignore that was irrational. But Chewie only had to growl and the man had been silenced.

His determination was unwavering to the small family. He really didn’t want Lorelei to be in any further discomfort.

 _Little Lei,_ he thought, _Too much strife for such a young mind. Too much pain._

There’s another message on the transponder in Waroo’s hand and he answers it with a panicked tone, “What?”

“Are they here yet?” It was Finn. He and Rose had called every other minute for the past twenty.

“No. I will tell you when they are,” Waroo groans. It was getting tiresome to keep updating them when they were anxious enough themselves.

Finn and Rose wanted to be there right when Ben arrived but Chewie thought it would be best if they held off their introductions until he was sure that Ben could handle it. He and Lei have already been through so much today and although they are aware of Finn and Rose’s loyalty, it may be best to just keep it simple.

Chewie and his family were very aware of what it felt like to be ripped apart. The years they spent enslaved and scattered across the galaxy still haunting him. The many sleepless nights of not knowing if Malla was alright.

That’s what Ben is feeling now. He doesn’t know if Rey is okay.

Just then, they see the lights of an approaching ship flicker through the rain as it descends through the doors and comes in, totally soaked and dripping.

Chewie hears Waroo send a muffled, “They’re here,” to Finn but then turns the transponder off, walking forward beside his parents as the ramp lowers. Maz treks out first and offers them a sad smile. A smile which says, _They’re okay, but they’re really not_. Chewie knows technically that none of this is really good news, but to know at least Ben and Lei were alright allowed Chewie to breathe again. They hadn’t lost yet.

They hear footsteps approaching and a moment later Ben emerges. He looks exhausted and there’s a sadness to his eyes Ben hasn't seen since he was a boy. Only Chewie suspects this sadness is something entirely new. Even to Ben who had been through so much pain in his life. This was a new kind of hurt.

For Ben as well as the small baby he holds.

The wookiees rush forward, open arms as they surround him and hold him tight, moaning words of apology and sympathy. Ben feels that tightness in his throat again that means a sob is going to rip through him. “We’ll get her back,” Ben hears from Chewie and even though he has heard it from several people today, including his mother, it still hurts to think that Rey was in a place she needs to be saved from. To know this was all still very real. He hasn’t woken up from some terrible dream because it just keeps going and he’s getting more and more tired.

Definitely not a dream.

Tears seep from his eyes but he refuses to let the sob escape him. He refuses to let his defenses waver and let Lorelei feel once again how scared he was.

Chewie pulls away first so he can see the baby. Her cheek is pressed against Ben’s shoulder and there’s no smile to be found on her face. The smile Chewie loves so much. Still, his heart melts at the sight of her. Here and safe.

“How is she?” he asks Ben, running a hand past her back. She finally looks up at him and the corner of her lips quirk up ever so slightly. Maybe recognizing his energy like Ben had said before. It fades a moment later and she dives back for Ben's chest.

Ben doesn’t know how to answer. She’s not doing good. She’s been through a hurricane of emotions today. All of them horrifying save for his brief conversation with his mother. All he can think to say is, “She’s tired. It’s been a long day…”

Chewie nods. Taking in Ben’s face closely, he sees his eyes are red. He’s tired too, but Chewie doubts he will be able to rest. Still, he wants him to try, “Let’s get you settled. You two can sleep a little.”

Ben sniffles, thanking them. Malla stays close to his side as they walk, Waroo behind him and Chewie in front. They were guarding him he realized, but Ben sees that they were the only ones around. “Where is everyone?” He knew it was night but he still expected to see some people running around the base.

“In their quarters. Chewbacca insisted that they stay in until we gave them the all clear that you were safe. We didn’t want you to be swarmed,” says Malla.

Ben is grateful for their understanding, “Thank you,” he whispers. Chewie pulls out a large umbrella as they head outside to the bungalows. He hands a smaller one to Maz and she heads off in a jog.

“I’ll check in with the others. I’ll meet up with you later,” she says and disappears into the larger main building off to the other side.

Ben stays with the wookiees as they guide him through a small neighborhood of outdoor housing. All of them similar to the style of the base. They pass one, not looking particularly any different than the others but Ben senses something. Ben feels that familiar surge of what Rey’s energy has left behind.

 _Her room_. Her room he had seen many times through the bond. They were walking right past it.

Ben halts and the three wookiees stop as well, confused as to why Ben is just standing in the rain. Chewie scrambles to get him and Lei back under the umbrella. “What’s the matter?”

“That was Rey’s room, wasn’t it?” Ben can feel how Lorelei picks up on it too and hums recognizing the signature of her mother.

“Yeah, but we could put you in a bigger room, closer to the main control-” Chewie starts to explain but Ben walks forward towards the small structure.

“We’ll stay here.” With the subtle turn of his head, the door slides open and it’s like a breath of fresh air. It feels like Rey is all around them, more potent than the hut on Ach-To where Rey had only been for a few days. This room was hers for over a year and traces of her are on everything. Still not as vibrant as the Rey they had both felt that morning on Lah’mu.

Lorelei wiggles in his arms, “Gahh hah maa,” she babbled and Ben couldn’t help but agree with her.

“I know,” he whispers. He walks forward into the small space, setting the backpack down.

The three wookiees watch the two fawn over the space. “So you...you would rather stay in here?” Waroo asks, seemingly confused why Ben and the baby were so excited that after hours of space travel they wanted nothing more than to stay in this tiny room.

“Yes. This will do,” Ben answers him.

Warro means to tell him again how the other room was bigger but Malla holds up her hand. She understands that whatever it is that has the father and girl so distracted is beyond their senses.

“Okay, well, We’re going to tell the base that they can come out now. I can’t guarantee it will be very quiet but I’ll try to keep people clear of here. We’ll come to check on you in the morning after you two can maybe get some rest.”

“Thank you, all of you,” Ben says earnestly. The three wookiees leave and once again, Ben is alone with Lorelei.

He turns to the bed, setting her down on the mattress. Not near as soft as their own on Lah’mu and much bumpier as well.

“Mommy used to sleep here,” he whispers. Lorelei’s face scrunches as she runs her little hands past the fabric. It isn’t as cozy as the ones from home. He tries to spread out the one he pulled from their bed this morning so it was a little more accommodating.

Ben knows that Lorelei feels so confused. So lost. This morning they woke in their home, the only place she’s ever really known. But now, everything was so different and they were missing more than just their comfy mattress and extensive collection of blankets.

“I know it’s different, Lei. I know it's not home...” He pulls her back into his arms, missing the weight of her against him. He’s hardly set her down all day but he couldn’t do without it. He needed her close. She doesn’t seem to be complaining either, welcoming his embrace every time and slumping her head on his shoulder.

She needed some actual sleep. And as much as Ben knew he wouldn’t be able to manage it, he knows that is also what he needs.

He unpacks a new set of jammies from the backpack, changing her diaper (the last clean one he has) and getting her all cozy while he snuggles her into the bunk. Usually, he would have taken her for a walk to try and get her to sleep, but given the rain and the likely audience that would be there to see him, he decides that is not an option tonight.

But her head is heavy as he lays her against the pillows, her eyelids already drifting. She’s exhausted. So instead he just kneels beside the bed, running soothing little circles into her hands while she falls asleep.

Her eyes close again and as relieved as Ben is to see her find some rest, he misses her. Now he feels more alone than before. The weight of all of this settling on his shoulders, in his heart. He rises from his knees, his feet padding to the fresher where he turns the lights on, his own reflection waiting for him in the mirror.

He’s a mess. His eyes look hollow, as does his soul. His clothes are still streaked from mud from when he fell.

 _From when you felt them hurt her_ , his mind reminds him and he whimpers. 

He pulls off the dirty tunic and runs some water past his face, his arms leaning over the narrow basin of the sink. Cold and stainless against his skin and he turns up the heat of the water, trying to distract himself from his thoughts, already knowing it would be fruitless.

Even as he stands here, hunched over in the sink, he can only think of all the reasons why this was wrong. It isn’t like their fresher back home. Their red and blue toothbrushes aren’t sitting in an old mug off to the side. There's no bath or any of Lorelei’s little bath toys to be seen.

_No. This was not home._

Steam rises from the water running in the sink and fogs up the mirror, his reflection becoming a blur. Ben wishes it was Rey looking back at him. He wishes the bond would open. He could tell her how he was coming for her, she just needed to hold on.

But the bond offers no response. Ben remains alone, thinking about the woman he loved in the hands of the First Order. The Order that was accountable for so much pain in his life has finally reached a new high. They finally took the person they knew he could not be without.

They were going to use her as bait. Something he didn’t want to think about right now.

Instead, Ben brings his hand to the mirror, his pointer finger gliding along the glass as he forms lines in the moisture there. He knows these lines well, he’s drawn them many times, though never like this. 

When he’s finished, Ben lowers his hand and on the mirror he leaves a drawing of Rey, made by the many pathways of water he’s wiped away. Her hair is down like it had been that morning and her eyes were closed. Closed from the horrors she must be seeing now. 

He speaks to her like this, to the image he has made. His voice shaky and hushed, “I’ll keep her safe. I just need you to hold on...I'm coming for you. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I do know that I won’t stop until I find you and bring you back to us.”

Just then he pops his head out of the fresher to make sure Lorelei is still snuggled on the bed, paranoid by the lack of railings that she could roll off but she’s still snuggled close to the wall. Captain Kriffie and the blanket forming a small barrier.

Taking a deep breath, he turns back to the mirror,  “I’m so sorry that it happened like this. I’m sorry that you are in pain for what I have done.” Ben knows he looks insane. Apologizing and crying to a mirror. But without the bond, he has no one else to say these words to. These words that have been suffocating him all day.

Everyone was telling him it was not his fault, but he knew the personal guilt he carried would not so readily believe it. He had done this and now Rey had to suffer the consequences.

He will tell her all he can, whispering softly to the glass as he rests a hand beside where he has drawn her face. “Please just hold on, Rey. I'm coming. I love you…”

Slowly, the steam escapes from the open door and the image of Rey dissipates as the mirror is clear again, only his sad eyes and scruffy beard there to greet him.

Before he can cry again he shuts off the lights and rushes back to the bed. He slips inside the covers, pulling Lorelei close to his chest like she had been the night before, only now it was not only because he wanted her close. It was also so they could both fit on the small bunk. He doesn’t know how he and Rey managed to fit on this before. It was narrow and short enough that his feet hang off the end. Lorelei grunts as he shifts her in his arms.

“Sorry…” he whispers. He will never be able to apologize enough. Today he felt as Lorelei, his daughter, has lost a part of herself. She was somber and uncomfortable in all the ways he never wanted her to be. And so young. Only eight months old and she has felt such loss, such agony.

He wishes he could take that pain from her. He wants her to be free of this pain.

* * *

 

Finn and Rose are chasing down Chewie as he is unloading some things from the Falcon, scavenging through old closets for some reason.  Finn grows impatient and asks him, “Where are they?”

Chewie groans before turning to them, “They’ve decided they would rather stay in Rey’s old room. They can...feel her there, I think.”

Finn nods in understanding. They could sense Rey. That actually made sense which, of course, meant everything must be really crazy if he thought that was a legitimate answer. That Ben and the baby made a decision together did not strike him as odd.

Rose steps forward. “What can we do now?”

“Well, right now, I just want them to rest for a bit. I don’t want anyone bugging them until morning, okay?” he says looking at them, knowing they could very well try to go knocking on his door. Something Chewie didn’t think Ben needed right now.

“We know!” Finn and Rose both rolled their eyes. “We don’t want to make this harder for him, we’re only trying to help.”

Chewie nods, “Thank you, both of you really. It’s just been really hard on him. Both of them.” Chewie thinks about the others, “How is everyone else taking it? Should I expect trouble?”

Finn and Rose give him a skewed kind of look, “Well, the vast majority is actually really supportive. So I would say no,” Rose tells him but then looks back to Finn before speaking again. “However, there are a handful of members that aren’t happy about it, but I don’t think they’ll do anything rash around the baby. They're having a hard tiime adjusting.”

Chewie huffs. He figures that’s about as good as it was going to get. “Okay. Let’s just keep an eye on things and make sure no one is going to pull anything stupid or dangerous. By ‘anyone’ I mean Poe. He tends to be the most dangerous when he's at his stupidest and vice versa.”

“Right,” Finn says. That might be funny if it wasn't so true. 

Chewie can see how they still stand, awaiting further instructions. Ready to help with anything. “Why don’t you two kids go to bed. In the morning I’ll have you help me take some of these supplies to Ben’s room. I’ll introduce you.”

Finn and Rose both gulp. For months they had been curious to really meet this man, and to know in the morning the time would finally come, it has them a little nervous. Chewie actually laughs at them, “He won’t bite you if that’s what you’re worried about.”

They both shake their heads, trying to deny their anticipation.

 

* * *

 

Poe hears a knock on the door of his quarters. He rises to answer and finds a short orange pirate woman on the other side.

“Maz,” he greets her coldly. “Is everyone's favorite psychopathic daddy comfortable?”

Maz points an accusatory finger at him, “Don’t start with me, Dameron. I’m this close to kicking your ass and dragging it to the brig.”

Poe just laughs, “I know you’re used to being the oldest and wisest around, which I’m sure you are. Certainly the oldest," he cracks and Maz wishes she was tall enough to slap him. "But on this base, I’m the General and what I say is what goes. If I said I wanted that monster to be arrested for what he’s done to this galaxy then it should happen. Not much to ask for considering all the shit he’s done”

“No one will touch him or the child. Is that understood?” Maz growls at him. Poe’s jaw clenches, visibly upset. Maz sighs. “Listen, I know this is strange and I know you’re entitled to your own opinion and to think whatever you want about him.” Poe turns away, as stubborn as a petulant child. She continues anyway, “But he isn’t going to hurt anyone. He’s different. He is a father trying to keep his family safe. They've lost Rey to the First Order. The First fucking Order. I'd think at the prospect to blow some of those bastards up you'd be excited. But suddenly once you know it's Rey we need to save you don't want to help! They could kill her!”

Poe spins back around, this time nearly shouting at her, “Rey has made her decisions. She's responsible for the mess she found herself in. I've made my own decisions too. I decided when she left here she was a deserter. And then eight months ago I decided she was a traitor. The repercussions of her own decisions should be left for her and _Kylo Ren_ to deal with. If it kills them so be it. Even if it means that child is raised by droids, it’s better than having that fucking lunatic as a father.”

“Kriffing hell, you know what? Fine. Be an asshole. Just don’t do anything I’ll make you regret. As long as I’m here, I want castle rules. No fighting or I’m pushing you off the Tua-Lu first chance I get.”

Poe turns to throw a glare at her. “Are we done here?”

Maz huffs but spins out the door, too frustrated to reply but muttering to herself. 

As Poe sat in his quarters, knowing Kylo Ren was on the base at that very moment, he was livid. Everyone but himself seemed to be completely blind. They had a psychotic murderer among them.

Perhaps they all needed a reminder.

Poe gets an idea. If everyone thinks fatherhood or his devotion to Rey would balance Kylo out, they were wrong. Poe was going to show them how Kylo Ren was still there and how at the slightest provocation, he would surely snap.

Poe knew that meant he would need to be the one doing the provoking.

_Fuck..._

 

* * *

 

Ben had fallen asleep only a few hours ago. His mind never relaxing, trying to keep anything that could harm Lei clear of her mind. But he eventually dozed off, trying to surround himself in the looming sense of Rey left behind in the room. It relaxed him enough to close his eyes but not much else.

And then suddenly there’s a noise at the door and Ben shoots up, grabbing his lightsaber from the nightstand. He jumps to his feet, guarding where Lorelei was on the bed behind him. The commotion sending her into tears.

Everything is still, and although different, he supposes it is safe. Remembering he was on the Resistance base, Ben sets the weapon down and leans over to scoop the crying baby into his arms. “Shh...it’s okay. I’m sorry. Everything is fine,” he whispers.

He rocks her gently against his chest for a moment, just shushing her gently, telling her it was alright...whatever that meant. Ben kisses the tears from her cheeks and she quiets a little. He runs a hand past her head, his fingers brushing her black hair behind her ears. He stands there for a while, just holding her. His own breathing calms down as he holds her tight, trying to remember she’s in his arms.

Then there’s another knock at the door, followed by the groan of a wookiee. _Chewie._ He forgot this all started because someone was at the door.

With a slight wave of his hand, the door opens. Chewie eases inside, his head ducking in the doorway. Ben registers there is a man and woman behind him. He knows well enough who they are. After all, he had already seen the man before. 

Finn and Rose’s eyes go wide as they see who they once thought was Kylo Ren stand with his bare back to them, laying a baby on the bed. “I’m sorry. I heard the noise and kind of panicked. Forgot where we were for a minute  She woke up a little scared and-”

“Ben, it’s fine. We only knocked twice,” Chewie says to him, setting a small crate on the table. Ben nods and slides his arms inside a dirty tunic. It isn’t black. More of a greenish kind of gray and mud smeared into the fibers. Finn and Rose don’t notice though as they are still stuck on his face.

His eyes dark. Not only his actual eyes but the skin beneath them too. He looks exhausted. His hair is wild and tussled from the pillows and running his hands through it. He sits down on the edge of the bunk, one hand on the back of the baby who was still a little flustered at the disturbance.

Chewie notices the silence. He looks to Finn and Rose as if to say “ _What are you waiting for?_ ”

Finn just shrugs as he looks to the man who is slumped on the bed, eyes focused on the little baby. Rose smacks him in the chest to say something.

Ben picks up on their combined nerves and looks up to see them poking each other’s arms. Bidding for the other to talk first. He supposes he will help them. He understands they might feel a little intimidated and he doesn't want to scare away people trying to help.

“Finn and Rose, right?” Both their eyes snap to Ben, startled. Chewie laughs for the first time in what must be days. He's obviously not what they expected.

Rose clears her throat, “Yeah. Sorry, it's just that we-we’ve known about you for a while now. I mean obviously, we’ve known about you, I just meant _this you,"_ she gestures to him where he sits. She means Ben and not Kylo, Ben realizes. 

She rambles on, "We’re not exactly sure how to start with this. Not that you do either it’s just that we know how stressful this must be and how you probably are worried about being here and if anyone is going to help you. Not that there are people who don't not want to help you. Wait that came out wrong. Double negative, maybe triple-” Finn recognizes this. Rose rambles when she’s nervous. He squeezes her hand to slow her down.

He clears his own throat and cuts in, “We’re just glad you’re okay. You and your daughter. And we want to say we’ll do whatever it takes to get Rey back. We're gonna help you.”

Lei whines a little just then and Ben’s attention goes back to her on the bed. He realizes she’s not going back to sleep so he picks her up, “Shhh...I know,” trying to soothe her gently. He stands up, walking closer to the two watching him intently. He has Lei in his arms and Finn and Rose are drawn to her, finally getting a good look.

Finn is transfixed by the little face. Still not fully awake and her head slumped against her father's chest. Black hair, dark brown eyes. Made familiar to them only moments ago by Ben himself. 

Ben stands before them, knowing they are looking at Lei and seeing their faces light up a little. The way all the others looked when they saw her for the first time.

“Thank you,” Ben says, earning their attention again. They look up at him and he realizes just how short the woman is. Easily a foot shorter than himself and a good five inches shorter than Rey. Ben forgets that Rey was actually tall for a human woman. Just in relation to his own height did Rey seem small. His chest begins to ache again as he thinks of how her head fits so well against his shoulder at night. How he could rest his chin over her hair when he held her. He shakes his head, trying to surge forward, remembering there were two people in front of him waiting to hear what he was going to say. 

“I know neither of you has any reason to trust me. But to know your loyalty to Rey has led you to see past the horrors I have caused you, even personally, means so much,” his eyes float to Finn as he thinks of the slash he had given to his back on Starkiller. “I’m sorry. I'll never stop being sorry, but I still don’t know what to say. Thank you both so much,” his voice cracks. He rests his cheek against the baby's head, hoping to keep himself composed in front of them. 

Finn is startled by the tenderness of his voice. Last time he heard this man speak he was shouting, growling, demanding. Three or so years ago Finn thought he would have been killed by him. Now his voice was just above a whisper and in gratitude, standing before himself and Rose, holding the baby he can see sure enough is Rey’s. 

What a trip…

Rose speaks up, seeing how Finn is more than a little distracted by his thoughts. “Ben?” His head turns to meet her eyes and she is a little haunted to see how much pain is there. She gulps but carries on, “We do have reason to trust you. You kept us safe all this time. You’ve kept us going and we didn’t even know it,” she speaks clearly now, nerves receding. Rose thinks of the time they’ve been on Arkanis and all they have accomplished. Ben was responsible for that. This man who looked broken and was clinging to his daughter as he tried to cling to hope. She steps a little closer. “We’ll get her back. Rey...she’s tough. She’ll be okay, I believe that.” 

Ben’s mind doubts that Rey is anything but okay right now. He thinks about what the First Order could be doing to her. But he sees that Rose only means to make him feel better and he just nods. He appreciates it anyway.

Because Rey was tough.

Chewie cuts in then. He sees how Ben isn't sure what to say and knows he's anxious to make some headway. “I brought you some things. Clothes and diapers. The clothes look to be the right size but I’m not sure if the diapers will fit you though,” he deadpans.

Ben just rolls his eyes, “Well, thanks anyway.”

Chewie groans on, “Maz is in the mess hall now, trying to get some milk out of the food processor. She’s got some baby formula she can add to it. We figured she’d be hungry. And Maz wants you to meet her there. Says you need to eat too.”

Any other time, Ben might have rolled his eyes but he is glad for Maz’s instinctual need to care for them. He had only really thought about getting Lei something when he realized just then that he hadn’t eaten anything yesterday, and he was hungry too. Even if he had absolutely no appetite, he knew he was going to have to eat if he wanted to keep going.

Rey had already been missing for a standard full day cycle and nothing had been done. They needed to eat and then start strategizing, gathering information. Even if it meant he left this room and faced all the others that very well wished him dead, he had to take some sort of action.

“Alright. I’ll get dressed and we’ll meet you there.”

Finn and Rose tell him they’ll wait outside so they can accompany him to the mess hall. Chewie closes the door behind them.

Ben moves for the crate Chewie had left on the table. Inside, he finds a package of diapers. He never thought he would be so relieved to see a supply of diapers.

Beneath those are the clothes that Chewie had found for him and instantly Ben scoffs, running his free hand past the old fabric. “Of course,” he mutters under his breath. “Chewie is just messing with me now.”

“Ggnnh gaggh ga,” Lei groans and it sounds suspiciously like Shryiiwook. Ben gives her a small smile.

“Yeah...Chewie.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's General Butthole up to? But more importantly, what do you think Chewie left for Ben to wear?
> 
> Hint: It is the wardrobe of a man whose name rhymes with San Holo...
> 
> Next chapter we'll get more Ben/Resistance interaction.


	27. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's first morning in the Resistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH!! I'm sorry this took so long. School has been a bitch lately and I've had limited time to work on this...or sleep. 
> 
> This chapter also just gave me such a hard time. The previous one felt really mediocre to me and if I'm being honest I feel pretty iffy about this one too. And then, of course, the longer you wait to update a chapter, the more insecure you get about it so...barf.
> 
> Thank you though to everyone who is reading and supporting this story. Once winter break hits I'm hoping I'll be able to devote more time to this.
> 
> Thanks loves!!

 

Maz is sitting in the mess hall beside Malla. They have already eaten their own breakfast if it could even be called breakfast. It was some miserable looking oatmeal like substance but supposedly edible.

Now she sat with another bowl of it in front of her. It was for Ben when he arrived, as well as a bottle of warm milk for Lorelei. She had mixed in more of that formula for her.

She tests it every few seconds to make sure it was still warm but not too warm, her nerves getting the better of her.

The cafeteria wasn’t as empty as she would have liked. She thought since it was later in the morning there would be fewer people to stare him down when he arrived, but they all seemed insistent on waiting for him.

Maz thinks of saying something to them but decides that whatever comes they will have to weather it.

Just then, the main doors slide open revealing Finn, Rose, and Ben.

Instantly she notices the clothes Chewie must have found for him.

_His father’s clothes._

He looked so much like Han, in Maz’s opinion, but this was almost eerie. It leaves Maz frozen in her seat for a moment.

Malla moans a little. Of course, her husband would manage to find Ben some clothes that would make everyone stop and stare. She hopes it doesn’t make him any uneasier than he already is. But his clothes are probably the last thing on his mind.

Ben can feel how all eyes of the room are fixed on him. Himself and the baby in his arms. Lorelei feels it too and tucks her head against his tunic, making a small whining noise. He runs his hands past her back, shushing her gently.  Lorelei has never been around so many people before and even if she wasn’t feeling the way she does, it would still put her on edge.

He can faintly hear the whispers that fan out across the room. A flurry of pity, disgust, and curiosity. One after another he hears the observations of many judge him where he stands. Ben doesn’t know any of them, but they have already made up their mind about him.

“There he is”

“That’s him?”

“Oh look at the baby.”

“He looks different.”

“He kinda looks like his dad.”

“He looks like shit.”

“Gods, the kid is real.”

“Imagine that guy being your dad.”

“Asshole.”

“Poor guy. No way Rey will last more than a few days in the First Order.”

It’s that last one that strikes him deeper than the rest.  He doesn’t mind the ones that insult him. He prefers it to their pity. But to hear hopelessness, to hear a remark such as that, it feeds the doubts of his own mind.

Now feeling slightly skittish, he flinches slightly when he feels a hand pulling him by the elbow.

“Over here. Maz got you some food already,” Finn says. He had already said it once but could see how Ben didn’t hear him, distracted by calming the baby and possibly failing to ignore the obvious stares and whispers.

Ben nods, putting one foot in front of the other and focusing on Lei’s face. She gives him strength and a balance he worries would not be present were it not for the weight of her in his arms.

He sits down beside Maz who gives him a pat on the shoulder before passing him the bottle. “Thank you,” he says, taking it from her and bringing it to Lei’s face. She takes it, her little hands holding the bottle. Ben kept ahold of it too, knowing she would need help supporting it.

As he feeds the baby he can feel how the surprised eyes of the onlookers burn into him. Everyone seems so shocked to see _Kylo Ren_ caring for a baby. This is his daughter and he can’t even feed her without making everyone gasp. As if they thought he would hurt her or he wouldn’t know how to feed her. Like they expected him to be a bad father.

 _Maybe I am a bad father_ , his mind throws out, _I couldn’t keep my family safe. Aren’t good fathers supposed to do that?_

Maz can see how uneasy Ben is, though he’s trying hard to hide it. The small pirate woman spins her head, her own eyes glaring at all that try to invade the Solo’s privacy. With one sweep over the cafeteria her irritated gaze, along with Malla’s own share of disapproving looks, makes heads shoot down and the gossiping whispers halt. The usual roar of conversation beginning to pick back up. It was a welcoming curtain of white noise so they can have their own conversation.

“Here,” Maz says, sliding a bowl of oatmeal in front of him, “should still be warm.”

Ben’s eyes look at the miserable looking mush. He thinks of declining, but he hasn’t eaten since the last dinner they had on Lah’mu and he knows logically he’s starving. His mind is focused on other priorities though, not his appetite.

Keeping Lorelei steady on his lap, he uses his free hand to pick up the spoon beside the bowl and begin to eat.

 _It’s vile_ , part of his mind screams. He thinks back the food he and Rey had been making the past eight months. Food from the crops they grew together. It was simple but tasted amazing.

He would give anything to be back on Lah’mu, at their kitchen table. Rey would be sitting across from him and saying it was delicious as always even though they had the same thing nearly every day.

But the other part of his mind scolds himself. It was edible, at the very least. He needed to be grateful he and Lei were eating at all. The thought of Rey being held captive without anything to eat makes him visibly shudder. She had already been starved most of her life and now was likely facing that again.

Maz sees Ben shake slightly as he closes his eyes. She had a similar reaction when she had to eat the putrid looking mush but she knows his own disgust probably isn’t from the lack of flavor and slimy texture. She knows well enough he’s thinking of Rey.

Maz then looks to Finn and Rose who were neglecting their food, seemingly focused on the baby in Ben’s lap.

“Ben,” Maz says and he turns to her. His attention on her but his mind distant, she knows. “Did she sleep okay?” She doesn’t bother inquiring after his own rest. She knows he didn’t get any worth mentioning.

“She slept, but she’s still tired. Since our connection with Rey broke...we’ve both been feeling drained. I don’t think she’ll be her usual self until Rey is back.”

Rose tries to gather what she can, still slightly confused by how Ben and Rey’s connection works, “Is she in pain?”

Ben looks to her, unsure how to answer. “It’s more like an ache. Kind of a strange numb feeling in our mind where Rey should be.” But in a short answer yes, Ben realizes. This was a pain that he felt himself. The only cure being Rey’s return.

And yet, Ben can’t help but think how resilient their daughter was. Despite this discomfort, she was still so strong.

“So...you can’t feel Rey at all?” Finn asks, voice a little shaky.

Ben shakes his head, “No. Nothing. And for Lorelei, she’s always felt Rey, so she’s never known what it’s like to be disconnected from her. She knows something is wrong and no amount of me trying to substitute that ache does anything. She’s already strong enough to know the difference.”

Finn and Rose’s ears perk up at the mention of a name they have never heard. “Lorelei?” Rose asks.

Ben looks to her again, “Hmm?”

“Lorelei. Is that her name?”

Ben actually gives a small smile as he nods. His eyes float back down to the baby, almost done with the bottle, “Yeah. Lorelei.”

Maz remembers when Ben told her Lorelei’s name for the first time. Just after she was born and they loaded up in the Epoch and left Takodana. It was such a beautiful name, and their nickname for her only made Maz’s heart swell with pride, “Little Lei,” Maz coos. Recognizing her name, the baby’s head turns to her, moving the now empty bottle away with a grunt. Maz laughs, “That’s your name, huh? You know your name, don’t you?”

“That’s beautiful,” Rose says quietly, leaning forward a little more to look at her.

“It really is,” Finn says. Ben gives a nod, meaning to thank them, along with the hint of a smile. Malla reaches and runs a hand past Lei’s head, earning them a soft babble.

“Gnngh gah ga ba,” and again Ben thinks she’s trying to impersonate a wookiee like she had done that morning. She receives a round of soft laughs from the table. A brief moment of smiles before reality sets back in once Chewie and Waroo come blazing into the mess hall, rushing for their table. Ben stands up, feeling their nervous energy.

“What is it? Did something happen?”

“There’s a news broadcast from Coruscant. First Order,” Chewie groans.

Ben moves away from the bench, about to follow them when Maz tugs on the hem of his jacket, or rather his dad’s jacket. “Ben, finish your food.”

“Maz-” he moans.

“I know you’re going to insist you hold that baby all day so I need you to eat so you don’t pass out,” she tells him. He rolls his eyes but knows she’s right. He needed to keep himself in order if he was any help to Lorelei. He brings spoonful after spoonful into his mouth, devouring the foul contents until there was nothing but the trace of it covering the mustache above his lip. It earns him a, “Thank you. That wasn’t so hard,” from Maz as she passes him a napkin and the whole group of them race to leave for the nearest holonet broadcast. He refrains from asking a thousand questions so he settles for the only one that matters.

“Is it Rey?” Ben asks Waroo who walks beside him, trying to sound more composed than he actually is.

Waroo shakes his head, “No. At least not yet. It’s all Ascendancy promotions, I think.”

“Ascendancy?” Ben asks. His question heard by Finn who jogs forward to match his longer strides.

“The Ascendancy. It’s Hux’s own ship, he’s trying to make his own Supremacy. He’s been building it since he became Supreme Leader. Hundreds of thousands of slaves have been dragged from systems all over to construct it.”

Ben looks to him, horrified. “Hundreds of thousands?” Was that even possible? How big was this ship?

Finn just nods sadly, “Almost instantly after you and Rey went into hiding, he redacted all the propositions you put in place to protect planets from enslavement.”

When Ben had made that decree to protect planets from enslavement, Hux had been irate. He claimed slaves were necessary for the galaxy. Ben expected Hux might resort back to enslavement, but to hear so many had been affected feels like a blow to the chest. How much damage had Hux done in eight months?

They turn into what looks to be a control center, logistic screens, and holoprojectors riddled all over. Sure enough, there’s screen after screen showing a massive craft prepared for take off. A human anchor appears, synthetic looking teeth glistening as he speaks enthusiastically.

_“The Ascendancy is expecting to make lift off from Coruscant’s surface within the hour, but Supreme Leader Hux will be appearing momentarily to mark the momentous occasion.”_

Just hearing his name makes Ben’s jaw tighten. This whole mess started with Hux. He was the one that tried to get Rey kidnapped so he could use her against him. He supposed they were now back at the beginning, only this time, Hux has succeeded.

Lorelei’s head slumps against his shoulder, tired again. He doubts though she will sleep. That’s what was unsettling about this ache. It made you want to sleep for days, but the slight pain made it feel impossible.

It was so strange to see his daughter like this. His daughter, who two days ago, was brighter than the suns. Two days ago she was surrounded by love and happiness and blanket forts. Lorelei only knew that life.

This new life hurt and Ben wishes he could make it stop. But he knows the only way to do that, was to get her mother back.

Just then the screen changes to a stage. A line up of troopers appear. Everyone goes quiet, waiting to see Hux come out. But first, four dark figures emerge. They march to stand before the stormtroopers.

 _The knights_ , Ben knows, or at least four of them. But then there’s the sound of applause as Hux steps forward, another dark figure beside him.

 _Soldar_ , Ben realizes. That means that Xid is the only knight missing and he wonders if he was the other knight from Lah’mu. Perhaps Rey had injured him in their attempts to get her on board.

Hux steps up to the podium, Soldar stands at full attention behind him. Were it not for the hand Ben found in the grass yesterday he wouldn’t have noticed anything different about him. But Soldar holds his arm strangely to the side and the absence of his lightsaber at his belt rather obvious to him since Ben has it stowed away next to Rey’s in the backpack.

 _“Today, history is made,”_ Hux announces. Ben steps forward, trying to get a closer look at the cretin’s face. He’s wearing black robes that rival the decadence of Snoke’s gold ones. It makes his stomach turn.

“ _Today, the Ascendancy embarks into space just after eight months of construction. The quickest a vessel of such a tremendous size has ever been made.”_ The sound of thunderous applause continues. No attention or credit was accounted to the apparent thousands of slaves that were forced to make this horrendous ship for him.

 _“As you are all very well aware, it is the same duration of time since I have been appointed Supreme Leader. Since the traitorous acts of Kylo Ren were exposed. The man who deceived us and used his position for his own sentimental and selfish purposes had our exemplary order left to serve in the Absolution. A craft meant primarily for stormtrooper training and certainly not suitable for a real Leader to rule from. Upon becoming Supreme Leader of this galaxy, I took it upon myself to design such a craft that my loyal knights and I would be more than comfortable in.”_ Hux gestures behind him to Soldar who nods slightly.

Ben feels that rage attempt to surface as the camera zooms into Soldar’s helmet. The man who had taken Rey.

 _“So, now we will board the Ascendancy and continue our search to bring Supreme Leader Snoke to justice by tracking down Kylo Ren and ending him and his lineage forever.”_ Dozens of Resistance members turn to look at Ben, their eyes settling on Lorelei. The lineage Hux means to destroy.

Ben hugs her tighter and she whines, disturbed by the tension from her father. He knows his walls are failing to stand in his upset and she’s beginning to feel just how scared he is. Just how angry. He tries to build them back up as the broadcast ends with no mention of Rey’s capture whatsoever and the Ascendancy lifts into the sky, making its way for space.

Why wouldn’t they show Rey? Why wouldn’t they even tell the galaxy of how they had her. Ben expected Hux to use her now as he had attempted to use her months ago.

_As bait._

Hux would expect Ben to come for her. Which, of course, Ben planned to do, but he needed to be smart about it. He needed to control himself if he wanted to keep Lorelei safe while they rescued Rey.

It’s why he expected Hux to broadcast Rey’s capture, to lure him in. It seemed like the Hux thing to do. But they came and went with no mention of her.

_What did that mean? What were they trying to do?_

Finn and Rose watch as Ben stands before the screen, now off but still he remains.

“Ben?” Rose calls to him but he doesn’t turn. She looks to Finn and he looks back, concerned. Ben’s silence and stillness unnerving. They were not well enough acquainted with him to assume what this silence really meant though they expected he was likely disturbed.

He speaks quietly a moment later. “They didn’t even mention Rey. What is that supposed to mean? What-” he starts, his hands running past Lorelei’s back, “What are they doing to her?” he whispers.

Finn doesn’t bother trying to make him feel better. Finn knows the First Order and whatever they are doing to Rey was probably nothing short of torturous. Surely Ben knows that. He was in the First Order too. He _was_ the First Order at one point. But after being so connected to Rey, sharing a mind with her, that must be what frightens him now. The fact that he doesn’t know at all may be worse than if he did.

“He must be planning something. Maybe he’s holding off the news, trying to make us nervous,” Finn says to Ben. Ben considers his words for a moment before nodding.

“Maybe,” he says back. “He’s probably trying to get me riled up so I act rashly and jump right back into the First Order,” Ben’s voice wavers slightly and he stares intently at Lorelei, hoping to will the tears away.

“We’ll think of something,” Rose says softly, hoping she was right.

“I know we will. We have to. It’s just...she’s been hurt so much before. She doesn’t deserve any more pain. Especially if they only hurt her because of me.” Ben has only just met these people, but perhaps his emotional state is too damaged to recognize that. He doesn’t mean to reveal his fears to them, but he knows his fears are written all over him.

“I just…” Ben’s words trail off as he picks up something else. A distress different from his own. It was headed right for them and as he turns to see it’s source he nearly groans.

Dameron.

Poe marched all the way from his quarters to the control center where he knew they would all be. He had just watched the speech from Hux. The speech where there was no mention of the missing Rey and all the advertisement for the First Order's fancy new cruiser.

 _Kylo had to be pissed by now_ , he thinks. It was the perfect opportunity for him to show everyone how he wasn’t who they thought he was.

_He wasn’t Ben Solo. He was Kylo Fucking Ren._

Poe turns to walk into the control center. Sure enough, when he rounds the corner, there he is. Kylo Ren stood holding a baby while he was dressed in the clothes of Han Solo.

The clothes of the father he had murdered. How sick.

As he strides in the control center, everybody turns. Their eyes tracing his movements as he marches over for where the man with the baby is standing, surrounded by Finn and Rose.

Ben turns, his eyes meeting the aggressive hold of Poe’s. Malla slides beside him and Ben looks to her for a moment before looking back down at Lei. If he was to confront this man, he shouldn’t expose Lorelei to that. Even if he questioned his own fortitude without her in his hold, he knew she shouldn’t be near someone like Poe.

He holds her out to Malla’s long welcoming arms, “Just for a minute.”

“Good luck,” Malla moans. Lei snuggles into the Wookiee’s fur, still whining and confused by the feelings that clouded the room. The feelings that roiled within her father.

Heads turn and whispers stir as Poe marches up to where Ben stood, Finn and Rose at his side. Maz was jogging over to intercept but her short legs were not quick enough to beat the General.

Dameron stood before them with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Did you guys see the news? Looks like Hux has everything he needs. His bigass ship is finally in space. The First Order is thriving. Not to mention the aid of the evil force cheerleaders,” he looks directly to Ben. “Former friends of yours?”

Ben doesn’t move. Instead, he keeps his eyes trailed down, trying to look anywhere but at the General.

“No sign of Rey, though,” he throws out and he can see how the tall towering man flinches slightly when he mentions her name.

Poe steps closer but Finn moves to block Poe from getting any closer to Ben. “Poe, don’t-,” he starts but Poe just shoved him aside and advances forward.

“Don’t what? I’m just coming to offer my condolences. I understand this must be very hard for them. Especially since there’s _no way_ Rey’s doing too good right now.”

Ben looks at him, his jaw clenching. He doesn’t like where this is headed. He hears Lei behind him, whimpering. His arms ache without her but he remains where he is. Everyone’s eyes looking him over. Probably wondering if he was going to snap any second now.

And still, Poe carries on, “You know I really do feel for her. I know what it’s like to be taken captive by the First Order and tortured until your mind feels like it’s been hit by a kriffing freighter. I’m sure she suffering greatly.”

Ben closes his eyes for a minute. He thinks back to Jakku when he had killed Lor San Tekka and taken Poe captive. Tortured him. Ben thinks perhaps this is when he’s supposed to apologize, even if he despises the man, but Poe just keeps going.

“But I’m sure Hux is taking care of her. Maybe he just didn’t want to share her with everybody else. She seems to have that effect on people,” he pokes an accusatory finger against his chest.

Rose swats Poe’s arm away, “Poe, knock it off.”

“I don’t think Rey will have as much fun this time around though. Hux will make sure she’s paying not just for her crimes but yours as well. Supreme Leaders aren't known for their hospitality. They tend to be murdering bastards mostly,” Poe cranes his neck to look at the baby in Malla’s arms, “and getting the last Jedi knocked up.”

Ben fumes and slides to block him from looking at his daughter. Any thoughts of apology fleeting quickly as Poe’s face sneers. _How dare he..._

“I’m sure that came as quite the surprise,” he nods past him. Implying still towards the child, “Becoming a father must be very intimidating when you lost yours so tragically. Remind me again how it happened?”

Ben clenches his fists, enraged.  He wants to hit him. To choke him. But that would only feed into his game and make Ben out to be the monster Poe was trying to bring out.

_Steady breathes. Stay calm. Balance._

_Rey,_ he reminds himself. He isn’t here to make peace with Poe. He was here because he needed help. He needed to stay in control of himself.

“Poe, what the hell is wrong with you?” Rose asks him but Ben holds up a hand.

“No. It’s okay,” he says. All eyes of the room gone in on Ben and he tries to push forward. He tries to keep himself together. “I probably deserve that.”

Everyone stills, especially Poe who realizes his plan of cracking him were failing. The entire control room falls to silence as they turn to Ben, waiting to see what he will say.

“I know I’m not a good person. I know I don’t deserve your help,” he looks up, his eyes trailing over everyone. So many people. Why was this so much harder than talking to First Order officials?

Because it was now Rey’s life on the line.

Lorelei whimpers behind him from Malla’s arms. “Dada,” she squeaks and reaches out her arms. All those in earshot of the little voice gasp, totally amazed despite the tension in the room.

Ben walks back over, ignoring the huffs of Poe, and takes her back into his arms. He hugs her for a second, feeling the many eyes that are focused on them.

It makes him uneasy and although he knows Lei is safe, he can’t help but feel like he’s exposing her to something she shouldn’t be. He wants to get out of there.

He turns back around, everyone still staring. Poe has his arms crossed and he looks beyond annoyed. Ben ignores him though. “I know you have more reasons to arrest and kill me than you have reasons to trust me. But Rey...Rey means everything to us.” He looks down at Lorelei. Their harsh reality burrows deep into his chest again. That feeling he gets when he realizes how real all of this was and he wasn’t dreaming. He wasn’t about to wake up and find Rey next to him on their bed.

She was gone.

Lorelei begins to cry.

“I just want her back safe. If you can help me do that, I don’t care what you do to me. When all this is over and Rey and our daughter are safe again, you can do whatever you want to me. Arrest me, I don’t care. I just...I need her back,” he finishes with a shaky voice and makes for the doors, rushing out of the control center. Lorelei’s sobs leaving with him.

Finn, Rose, and Waroo move to follow him but Chewie calls them back. “Give him a minute.” He knows this is a lot for Ben and he might want a little breathing room for him and Lei before anyone else jumped in. They nod, understanding what the Wookiee meant.

Instead, Rose turns to glare at Poe, furious with his way of barging in trying to make everything worse.

Poe however just rolls his eyes and heads over to the main panel to tell the other members what today’s agenda was. He was confused why his method had failed. But perhaps he just had to try harder.

Poe needed to push him until the real Kylo Ren came back out. Whatever stunt he just did, earning everyone’s sympathy by being in near tears while he cuddled a baby must have just been some show.

 _Next time,_ he tells himself.

 

* * *

 

Ben makes his way back outside, eager to get some air. The walls confining the base were well circulated but he couldn’t help but feel suffocated.

It isn’t raining today, though still gray and it kind of reminds him of home. Lah’mu was rarely sunny but it always felt bright to Ben. Arkanis’s gray was just gray. No brightness or warm light to balance him the way their home did. He makes his way for the outskirts of the base, getting a more natural view of the planet. As he finds a way to breathe again, he feels Lorelei relax a little and it gives him another reason to keep breathing. Her cries become whines and he wraps her inside his jacket, keeping her warm against his chest.  

He looks out to the trees, the forest he decides not to enter, knowing he shouldn’t go too far. But it’s a forest he looks at. Trees, green, fresh air.

He looks down to Lei, speaking softly to her, “Mommy loves trees. _Forests_.” She hums against his chest and he smiles a little. “We met in a forest actually, though it was back when I was still being stupid, as I’ve told you before,” he finds speaking like this helps. It makes him feel hopeful.

“It was the same place where you were born. It really wasn’t that much later. Only a few years. But a whole lifetime seemed to have passed. So much changed, but your mommy’s love for green had not. I think she liked these trees when she stayed here. Maybe not as much as the ones that were near us when you came along.”

Lorelei dozes a little in his arms and he feels like this had relaxed her enough to possibly find sleep again. He carries on as best he can, trying not to think about Hux for a moment so Lorelei could rest. “I think she’s glad of all the places she would have had you, it was on Takodana. I know I am, even if you nearly gave me a heart attack when you arrived. You decided to come a little early...but we figured it out,” he says, remembering how he worked between Rey’s legs, trying to recall his knowledge of midwifery from the maternity holos. That had been the most terrifying feeling, followed quickly by one of the most ethereal sensations of holding her for the first time.

“And we’ll figure it out this time too. Mom thinks so...or I guess, your Grandmother.”

Lorelei’s eyes close and he finds himself surprisingly at ease. He gathers himself here, breathing as steadily as he can, looking out at the trees and thinking of what his mother had said.

_“You will find a way to bring her back to you.”_

He will. He just needs to find a way that he can do it. He needs to connect with these people.

 _Not Poe_ , he already knows. Just after one interaction with him and Ben couldn’t help but be reminded of Hux. For a man so determined to hate Hux, Poe didn’t seem too different from him.

He hears something approaching from behind him. Footsteps emerging slowly, though they aren’t people he recognizes the signatures of. He turns around, cautious of Lorelei sleeping and hoping whoever this was would have the awareness to stay calm and quiet.

He wants Lei to get whatever rest she can.

He turns and sees two figures approaching him. Both were wearing orange flight suits, one a man and one a woman. Ben holds Lorelei a little tighter, cautious of what their intentions would be.

But the man holds up his hands, “It’s okay. We just...we just wanted to talk to you,” the man looks to the woman and she nods.

“Sorry,” Ben says. “I’m a little jumpy.”

  
The man chuckles a little and forces a smile before extending his left hand to shake Ben’s, noting his right arm was occupied with the baby. “My name is Temmin. Temmin Wexley. This is my wife, Karé,” he gestures to the woman beside him and she offers Ben a small smile, her eyes looking mostly to the baby.

Ben is slightly surprised. A married couple amidst the war and the Resistance. “I’m Ben,” he says and they both chuckle this time.

“We know,” Karé says.

“We wanted to come by and introduce ourselves,” Temmin says, “and to just tell you that we plan to help you with whatever you need to get Rey back.”

Ben looks at them, slightly confused. Although that was the goal, he’s surprised at how friendly they were being. How generous this was to speak to him like this when he didn’t think of himself worthy of their kindness.

“We saw what happened in there,” Temmin’s nods back to the base, rolling his eyes a little. “Poe, he’s always a little hot-headed when he doesn’t get his way. And as much as we love him, we don't agree on this one. Not after all you did for us by finding this base and keeping us in one piece,” Temmin gestures around them.

“And Rey, she was the sweetest girl,” Karé says somewhat sadly. Ben stiffens at the woman’s words. He knows she means to be kind but she speaks of Rey in the past tense. As if she was gone.

 _She is gone!_ His mind screams.

 _Not like that. She’s not dead. I won’t let that happen!_ He argues back to his doubtful thoughts.

His inner turmoil is not noticed by the couple as they continue speaking and Ben tries to catch back up.

Temmin speaks now, “We just want you to know that you’re not alone. Finn and Rose have really helped a lot of us realize just who you are. We want to help you and your family. Not all of us feel like Poe.”

“Thank you. That’s honestly a real relief. I understand if people are mad at me...I just can’t let anything happen to her," he nods to Lei, still sleeping, "I don’t want her to get hurt because of me.”

Karé speaks up, “She’ll be fine. No one is going to hurt her.” She then looks to her husband, a tired but fond expression on her face, “We always wanted to start a family, but with everything going on...we never had the chance. If we can help your family now, maybe our dream could come true one day. A new future could be real, for someone like her,” she nods to Lorelei.

“Thank you. Both of you. Really, that’s more than I ever could have hoped for,” Ben says honestly. He adjusts his jacket to cover more of Lorelei as a brisk wind rushes past them.

At the edge of the base, Ben can see how a small group are huddled in a circle. They’re all staring at him until he notices them. All their heads snap away, pretending they were having a conversation of their own.

Temmin scoffs as he follows Ben’s eyes to the group not too far away. “Sorry. That’s probably the last thing you want right now. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. Especially now that you’re in a strange new place with a bunch of people that will only whisper about you.”

Ben looks at him curiously, surprised at his understanding.

“Truth is, everyone around here is probably a little intimidated, but trust us, they will help you where it counts. It’ll just be kinda scary at first. All of us merging together for the first time. Especially with…”  Temmin halts and Ben wonders if he was about to say something about Rey being gone, but he finishes by saying, “You know, everything that’s going on. But it will be over soon.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you’re right,” Ben responds, though his head feels heavy.

“And don’t worry. We'll put in a good word for you. That should make mealtime a little easier for both of you,” Karé jokes.

Ben gives a small chuckle. Not exactly forced but not really humorous either. “Well, I don’t know if it will do anything but I appreciate it anyway.”

He looks back to Karé who’s looking at the little sleeping face nestled against him. He goes out on a limb, attempting to connect with people and share something with them after they have offered him so much.

“This is Lorelei,” he says softly though she has slept through their conversation.

“She’s beautiful. She takes after both of you. Her face looks like a tiny Rey,” Temmin chuckles and Karé laughs with him.

Ben gives them a small smile, “I know. Especially when she’s angry.” That gets him another laugh from both of them. Ben starts to think this communicating thing won’t be as gruesome as he thought. They seem genuine in their responses and talking about his daughter was a welcome way to calm himself.

“We call her Lei for short.” Both of Temmin and Karé’s eyes shoot back up to his.

“Like your mother?” Temmin asks, slightly in awe it sounds like.

Ben gives him a sad smile, “Yeah. Like my mom,” he answers, thinking again of the conversation he shared with her.

Karé smiles, “She was who married us.”

Ben looks at them, “Really?”

Temmin nods, “She was amazing. Kept us all going all these years,” Temmin says, his eyes cast down. “She’d be proud of you Ben.”

Ben can’t help but smile, “Thank you.” He knows his mom is proud of him. She told him herself, even if he feels unworthy of her pride.

He was her son though and he can understand now why she was so insistent of her love for him, even when he has done so much damage. He understands now because he knows no matter what, he and Rey will always love Lorelei. Whatever her choices may be.

A sprinkling of rain falls from the sky and the three of them head back inside while Ben keeps Lorelei covered from the small sanctuary of his jacket.

Or rather, her grandfather’s jacket.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghjkl
> 
> So I decided randomly to include Temmin in this story and after perusing his Wookieepedia page I realized he was married to Karé. I didn't read any of that storyline but from what I've gathered, they were married by Leia so I thought they would be good advocates for Ben. Temmin probably seems different than he did in Aftermath because I tried to make him a little more mature and not the annoying teenager that he was lol. 
> 
> I also read that Karé is pretty loyal to Poe, but I'm just pretending that they have more common sense here and they're joining the "Let's call Dameron on all his bullshit" club, originated by Finn and Rose Tico. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this all comes across really stupid. I'm trying to build to where we're going but I think I lack the writing skills to do it efficiently lol.
> 
> Thanks babes!!


	28. Chains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey awakes to a cell and Soldar introduces himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very short but not so sweet. Honestly, it hurts like a bitch because we see Rey in the First Order. It was meant to be just the first part of the chapter but the second half got too long so I beefed this whole scene up and decided to post it now and try to make up for those two lonely weeks that I didn't do squat.
> 
> As much as it hurts, that means a new chapter should be uploaded soon:)

Rey thinks she might be awake.

It's hard to tell though. Everything is so dark, her eyes could still be closed.

Her hands are free though and she brings them up to her face, checking to see that there was still a force suppressant collar around her neck, accompanied by the chain that she couldn’t see but heard rattling behind her.

She can still breathe, but if it was any tighter she might be suffocating.

Her hands roam down, over her body and feeling where the blast from earlier was still sore. She feels the once soft fabric of her robe and nightgown now torn in places. Her feet are still bare and cold. Colder than they were the last time she woke up. Everything felt cold actually and it seemed like space. The slight humming of the floor was indication enough.

She wants to call out to Ben, wondering if he was here but knowing well enough that even if he was captured, he wouldn’t be in the same room as her. The First Order wouldn’t give them that.

Her chest hurts, though she is unsure if it is from the blows she received, however long ago that was, or from the aching absence of not feeling Ben or Lei.

Supposing it to be the latter, she slumps further to the ground, the sobs threatening to escape but she wills them down, fearing she was being watched.

Worry consumes her, her stomach turning with fear that her baby could be in the hands of these monsters. Their daughter could be in pain and she has no idea how to get to her. A few tears race past her cheeks. The uncertainty suffocating her.

Suddenly, lights illuminate the room and she has to shut her eyes tight. After so long of being in darkness, it was blinding and it resulted in an even further headache. Her temples already throbbing but now everything was spinning. The anonymity of the darkness was now gone and the walls swarm around her. Her cage making itself known.

She wipes away furiously at her tears and lets her eyes slowly adjust. At the far side of the room, she sees a door slide open and a dark figure stride in. The same figure that shot her.

The same one whose hand she sliced off, she remembers as she takes note of the strange slant his upper body is angled, maybe off balanced from the new prosthetic.

Rey remains quiet, stone-faced and eyes tracing his movements.

Soldar, glad to be hidden behind the shield of his helmet, speaks to her from across the room. He eyes the line in the floor that he knows the chain does not extend to. He’s safe behind the imaginary perimeters he has ensured she cannot cross.

As unsettled as he is, his voice suggests otherwise. “Nice of you to finally join us. You’ve been out for a while.”  

Rey thinks if the collar was gone she could choke him. “Maybe if you didn’t shoot me full of that shit I’d be less of an inconvenience for you.”

The man chuckles, “You would like that, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, we need to make sure you’ve got just enough of ‘that shit’ in your system so you don’t kill everyone that comes in here.”

“So what is this for then,” she holds up the barbaric chains behind her and tries to urge her finger beneath the metal against her neck.

“Ahh, well, we’ll get to that in a moment. You need some proper introductions first and depending on how it goes you’ll see exactly how that works.” He moves a little closer, his arms crossed, “Do you know who I am?”

“A fucking asshole?”

Soldar rolls his eyes under his helmet, mostly at himself. He walked right into that one. “My name is Soldar. I’m one of the knights that protect our Supreme Leader. Formerly though, we were known as the Knights of Ren, who you might have heard of. However, ever since our former master high tailed out of here and went to go play house with some whore, Hux has awarded us with much more purpose. More so than Kylo ever did.”

Rey shudders a little. _Kylo_. She hadn’t heard that name in so long.

_Her Ben._

“You know, we’ve been after you for a while now. I was starting to get a little nervous actually, but then we caught a break when those stupid Resistance mites unknowingly led us straight to that Batuu togruta. The one you two seemed so fond of,” Soldar sees how sadness passes over the woman’s features. She knows well enough the woman was dead.

“Her memories led us to your hideaway, and although it proved to be costly,” he holds up his prosthetic hand and wiggles the cybernetic fingers, “I still got _you._ Now, we just have two more to go and we’ll have the whole set..”

Rey tries to keep her face passive. Ben and Lei were not taken. They got away in time and Soldar has just revealed this to her, not thinking to conceal it. His stupidity is to her advantage and she internally rejoices at their safety.

Their baby far from here.

Soldar keeps going. “We’ll have them soon though. Kylo, he’s too attached to you. As foolish as he knows it to be, he will come for you. And when he does, that spawn of yours will be the final checkmark on our 'Most Wanted Bastards in the Galaxy' list. I think with some time we could find her someplace very comfy around here.”

Rey would kill him with her bare hands if he wasn’t so far away. The chains only go so far. “You won’t touch her. Ben won’t let that happen.”

“Oh. Dear Benjamin then. Well, whatever you want to call him, he’s still too sentimental to be thinking clearly. He’ll come for you and when he does you will both be publically executed before the entire galaxy. You’ll face judgment for what you’ve done to this galaxy. To Snoke.”

Rey wishes he was wrong, but she knows Ben. She knows he’ll try to come for her and as much as she wishes to be back with her family, she knows that is no longer an option. If Ben were to face the entire First Order trying to get her back, she doubts they will both escape alive.

And what of Lorelei? Who would care for her if that happened? The thought of her daughter growing up in the care of these monsters makes her eyes well with tears.

“No need to get upset. If you didn’t want to get caught, you should have been more careful. Perhaps you didn’t consider the real consequences of sleeping with your enemy. This galaxy is no place for children. You and Kylo of all beings should know that.”

Rey turns her head away, trying to block out his words.

_Breathe. Balance. Ben. Lorelei._

They were far from here and she will take this torment if it means her daughter never has to.

“You both knew how stupid it was to do what you were doing, and then you went and made the biggest fucking mistake you could have. These problems are of your own making. And given the upbringing you had, you should be well acquainted with the magnitude of unwanted children in this galaxy. I mean really? Did you think your years of waiting for a mother in those sands was your qualifications for becoming one? Because you thought you had enough love to make it work?”

Rey seethes, but she knows what he’s doing. He’s testing her. Trying to break her. She scolds her features to one of passiveness and control.

And Rey knows what she saw out on the field before she cut off his hand. She sees how he keeps his distance. Despite her lack of the force, he’s afraid of her. He was hesitant in battle. Hesitant to face her and even then keeping the distance.

What he’s doing now is all an act. The way he pretends to exude confidence when she knows even from behind the shield of his mask, his eyes are laced with fear.

Soldar sees how she all but resigns from his words. No reaction or indication that she was listening. “What? Not interesting enough for you? I would have thought the imminent death of your boyfriend and the capture of your spawn would be more upsetting to you.” He lurches forward, trying to get a better view of her face.

Rey looks up to him again, silent, eyes burning.

“Hmm? Maybe you’re just a shitty mother after all,” he says and she visibly flinches. “Must be difficult for your kid now. Stuck with the father. And if you’re this shitty of a mother, Kylo must be a fucking horrible father,” Soldar laughs.

Rey moves to her feet, the chain jostling behind her and striding forward, meaning to get as close as she could and strike him in the face.

Soldar scrambles back, realizing he's gone past the imaginary line and she could reach him. Quickly, he pulls a remote out of his robes and presses the button. Instantly, the collar around Rey’s neck electrocutes her and she collapses to the floor again, convulsing from the energy that runs through her in painful currents.

“Well now we know what that’s for, don’t we? So we know that as long as we’re wearing that we need to behave then, right?” He speaks to her as if she was a child.

Rey twitches on the cold floor, her heart frantic in her chest as she tries to bring her head up again. Soldar’s boots move back towards the door.

“Maybe when you’re feeling more conversational we can pick this up some other time. Until then, you need to understand that you are our guest aboard this ship. We could have killed you by now, so you should be thanking me for your continued existence. Or at least what’s left of it.” The door slides shut behind him and the lights go out, leaving Rey in the pitch black again.

All the sobs she means to hold back come out all at once and she can hardly breathe as her body tries to recover from the massive shock that electrocuted her body.

 

* * *

 

Xid slumps against the wall of the control room, the other knights all laughing at the woman sobbing on the floor. From this small room, they can control the many factors of Rey’s cell and keep a watchful eye on her. She was the first one to occupy this new chamber, this cell, and they were enjoying all the possibilities they planned to use on her in the Ascendancy’s well thought out R _ehabilitation and Interrogation Chambers._

But Xid was not partaking in their enjoyment.

He was fucking angry.

That morning he woke up surrounded by a bunch of droids who told him he was lucky to be alive. Apparently, Soldar had got him and the girl on board and high tailed it back to Coruscant. No Kylo. No child. No fucking dignity. 

But it wasn’t necessarily that Soldar had failed to retrieve Kylo and the spawn that he was so upset. It was more because when he woke back up, Soldar and Hux had somehow formed this alliance. A partnership that Xid suspected he and Hux had previously held.

It makes him outraged. It was Soldar who had fallen in battle. His incompetence in fighting meant Xid had to take on the girl alone. Perhaps, were Soldar a better warrior, Xid wouldn’t have been nearly sliced in half and forced to awaken to this alternate reality. The reality where he had become some joke.

Hux was praising Soldar for his schemes. Ones Xid had never heard and never thought someone as stupid as Soldar could be capable of. The one where Kylo is likely to come begging for his tramp.

And then, of course, there are the ideas that he really was too stupid to come up with. Just like the one where all the Knights combine their efforts to locate the child. The idea Xid announced eight fucking months ago! Soldar swooped in and unveiled it to Hux as his own, earning him the right-hand spot beside the Supreme Leader in nearly everything it seemed. And even now, Soldar was in charge of questioning the girl.

Soldar swooped in and stole all the credit Xid had worked so hard for.

Was this idiot meant to be their new leader? Soldar was weak. He may be quiet and good at taking credit for things, but Xid is determined to think of him as the bastard that stole what was respectively his. The incompetent fighter that fell too early in battle to finish the mission properly.

The new Master of the Knights, what a fucking joke.

Soldar strides in just then, “Send a droid in a while. I don’t want her fed, I just want them to give her enough shit to keep her alive. Preferably something that will keep her from sleeping. We need her to look fucking broken by the time we start filming the real stuff.” He hopes the other Knights could not pick up how startled he was when the girl tried to attack him. Perhaps electrocuting her distracted them enough so he didn't have to worry about it. 

Nourdi chuckles, “Will do, man.”

Soldar nods and then chances a glance at Xid at the far end of the room. He knows he’s angry, but confrontation didn’t seem to be the best idea at the moment. He knew he would be angry, but it was Xid who made his own foolish decisions. It was Xid who put them in that situation and Soldar had to wrangle their way out of it, capturing the girl and saving his life in the process. If he wants to be bitter then that was his problem.

“If there’s any changes, contact me. I’m going to confer with Hux.”

“Have fun,” Azmo chuckles, playing with the temperature sensor and making it a solid ten degrees colder in Rey’s cell.

Soldar finds himself laughing too. It’s the first time the other knights have shown him anything resembling respect. He supposes that means he might as well be their new leader.

Their new master…

* * *

 

Back within the walls of her cell, Rey trembles from the aftershocks of the collar, or perhaps from the cold. _Was it this cold a moment ago?_   She wraps her arms around her legs and thinks of Ben and Lei, trying to warm her thoughts if not her body.

Memories of home, of how happy they were, but it only makes her tears more persistent. 

So quickly had their life been uprooted. So quickly was everything taken from her. Rey hopes more than she’s ever hoped for anything, that Ben does not come for her. She knows if he were to come, it would expose Lorelei to the dangers of being taken.

 _Or she could end up stranded on some backwater planet with no one but herself to keep her company. Not even memories of her parents that loved her so much,_ Rey tortures herself, thinking of a life much like her own that Lorelei would have to live.

 _Or these monsters could find her, take her away and try to make her into the next Vader. Try to turn her into what they tried to make Ben._ Rey cries harder. Their little Lei forced to live in pain and conflict. Something they never wanted for her. Something they never would have let happen.

 _Ben, please. Just keep her safe. Keep Lei safe, please. I know you can_ , she says to him but knows it is only heard by herself.

_Please, please stay safe. I love you. Always._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry babes. You didn't need to see that.


	29. Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben willingly makes conversation with other people. That's it. That's the whole chapter.
> 
> I'm so proud of my son!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really light because I know we are in rough waters right now and you lovelies deserve some Ben/Resistance softness.
> 
> That being said, I would like to stress how we are in a very dark time for our family. Despite the softiness of this chapter, I feel like I should express that Rey's return isn't a one chapter resolution. We still have a ways to go. 
> 
> Basically, I just want to apologize because I wish I could sit here and write fluffy one-shots all day but as [marryan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marryan/pseuds/marryan) so eloquently mentioned from the previous chapter, "no pain, no gain".
> 
> We gonna get through this kids. 
> 
> I hope I didn't scare you too much but let me just say that despite that, this one is pretty soft so enjoy and try not to think about all that other shit right now(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
> 
> Thanks babes<3!!
> 
> (Also, I proofread this a thousand times but I just decided to post it and stop killing my eyes. If there's any massive mistakes I'll remedy them later)

Ben is back in his quarters, giving Lorelei a bath in a large bucket that he has on the floor of the shower. Usually, she loves bath time. She loves water. But tonight, she just sits there while he cleans her up, massaging the soap into her hair. 

He’s never seen her like this. Not their Lorelei. She was always so happy. Always so bright.

But this was sadness. He knows the feeling all too well, and to see his daughter this way, it rips away at what remains of his heart.

_She was a baby. How could a baby be capable of feeling this depressed?_

“Oh Lei…” he says to her, unsure what to say. It doesn’t matter how many times he promises to get Rey back. At this moment Rey was gone and it has led Lorelei to this. His words full of promise and the return of her mother aren’t as easily translated as the feelings they share in their minds.

He rocks forward on his knees, his pants getting wet from the water spilling over the edge of the bucket. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I knew what to do.”

He takes her out and dries her off before getting her into a new diaper and a clean set of pajamas. He buttons her up and presses soft kisses into her hands, trying to let her know in any way he can, that everything would be fine.

_Soon._

Then there’s a knock at the door and he can already tell it’s Finn and Rose. Their presence familiar to him now even if they only met officially that morning.

They offered to bring him and Lei dinner so he could avoid the loud mess hall. Although lunch was better than breakfast, all the inquiring faces made Lorelei a little uncomfortable. Temmin and Karé introduced him to some of their friends who were all very nice, but he could feel how uneasy Lorelei had been. She had cried a little and Ben took her for a walk to calm down. Most members around the base hadn’t really been around babies and were eager to look at her. And to Lorelei, it was all too much too fast.

So, when Finn and Rose offered to bring him some food instead, he was relieved. He wanted Lei to have some quiet time. This day had been long, and as much as he hated to admit, not productive.

Although the Ascendancy had risen that morning, there was still no sign of Rey and only so much could be discussed when they had no idea where she was or what to do. Especially when he could tell Finn and Rose were trying to keep him clear of Poe's path all day, hoping to avoid any further confrontation for the time being. 

Ben picks Lei up from where he had been changing her on the bed. She whines a little bit and he knows she’s hungry.

The door slides open and Finn and Rose await on the other side. Finn has his hand filled with a tray of food and Rose is holding some blankets. He stands to the side to let them in. “Thank you.”

“For sure. It’s no problem,” Finn shrugs after setting the tray on the small table.

“Here's some extra blankets too,” Rose sets them on the bed and then turns back to face the two men and the baby. “Chewie mentioned you had a lot of blankets back home.”

Ben nods, “Yeah. We like our blankets,” he mentions before he peruses the items upon the tray. Usually, at dinner time, he and Rey gave her more solid foods and he is surprised to find that the porridge they’ve brought him looks a lot better than the one he ate that morning.

He tests it first, the temperature warm but not too warm and the flavor tame enough that he thinks Lei will eat it.

It isn’t Manak flavored, so that’s a start.

He’s about to sit down when he sees how Finn and Rose make back for the door, meaning to leave. He fidgets for a moment. Unable to find the words. Usually, he would prefer to keep to himself but he thinks that maybe he should invite them to stay. They’ve helped him a lot and they’ve even brought him food. He doesn’t want to just ask them for favors all the time. He should reach out.

And he also isn’t sure he should be by himself. His most profound doubts crept in at the quietest moments and he didn't want Lorelei to be subjected to that any more than she already is.

He sits Lorelei up on the tabletop as they did sometimes at home without a high chair, before turning his head back to them, “You guys can stay if you want.” Ben's attention trails back down to Lei but he glances up at the two of them a moment later, unsure if that was how a normal person would ask for company.

Finn and Rose look back at him surprised. They turn to each other in slight shock, as if to confirm Ben had really said that.

Ben realizes that maybe they were thinking of an excuse not to, “You probably haven’t had dinner yet yourselves. Nevermind,” he says, trying to give them a way out if they chose not to take him up on staying.

Finn shakes his head, “Oh no, we already ate. We just...we don’t want to intrude.”

“But we would love to stay, at least for a little bit,” Rose beams, already stepping away from the door and pulling Finn with her so they are sitting at the other empty chairs.

Ben gives them a smile while he inspects the spoon on the tray, making sure it was clean, “Thanks. I...I’m so used to talking to Rey and everything is just so quiet. Especially since Lei isn’t feeling like herself." He runs his thumb past her cheek and her brown eyes meet his own. Ben sighs, "It’s easy to let the silence scare you, you know.”

Ben doesn’t know why he’s explaining himself, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

But Finn and Rose nodded, taking his meaning, and yet unsure of how to respond. They had been told by Maz and Chewie just how much Ben and Rey loved each other. But to see the effect that Rey’s capture had on Ben, to see the impact of losing the person he loved most in the galaxy taken away, it was evident just how deep that love went. 

Thes absence of this connection they shared had scarred both him and the baby tragically.

It was a lot to take in, a lot to wonder about. Curious, Rose decides to ask, “When did the connection with you and Rey start?” Maz mentioned that it had been going for a few years, but Rose wondered if it had been longer. 

Ben is blowing on some of the porridge when he hears her words. He’s still for a moment, thinking of how to answer. “I really don’t know. Logically, I suppose it started after Starkiller,” he answers, bringing the spoonful up to Lei’s mouth, interrupting himself to feed her. He mimics with his mouth for Lei to copy. “Ahh, open,” he coaches her. When she eats what’s on the spoon he smiles, “Good job,” he whispers.

He doesn’t realize it leaves Finn and Rose to watch him in utter fascination as he feeds his daughter so naturally and unabashed.

Continuing on with both the story and feeding the baby, Ben speaks again, “But I’ve seen her all my life. When I was a kid, I’d get these dreams. Nightmares, sent from Snoke. It made me afraid to fall asleep,” he says, his eyes cast down, remembering all the pain of the life he had lived before. He had forgotten it all as of late, distracted by the happiness of his life with Rey and their baby. “But sometimes the nightmares would be chased away, by another dream. A dream of Rey and her life on Jakku.”

Finn leans forward, “How is that possible?”

Ben just shakes his head, “I have no idea,” he answers honestly. “I just knew that at the time, she was the only one who could help me. She’d keep all the bad stuff away and I’d follow her life in the sands. Scavenging and surviving. I always thought she was just part of my imagination because I didn’t think anyone living a life that hard could be so hopeful. So determined to keep herself going." He remembers the many drawings he had done of her in his youth, hiding them in drawers so his mother wouldn't find them. Ben never spoke of her to his mother, to anyone. Rey was the only sanctuary he had known and he didn't want to share that.  "I never had that feeling. That instinct to just keep going. To keep moving forward. But it was so natural for her. So bright. Physically, mentally, everything.”

Rose gives a slight smile, seeing how easily he speaks of Rey. Like one would describe a work of art. Something ethereal. Something very Rey.

“And then I met her. Really met her, and it was like my nightmares were being chased away all over again. Only by then, the nightmare was real. I was the monster Snoke crafted me to be. Or, I guess, the monster I made out of myself."

Ben keeps giving Lei little spoonfuls, lost in his memories of Rey. How she’s always been there to save him. She’s so strong. So brave.

He hopes he’s strong enough to save her now.

He clears his throat, trying to recall his prior train of thought. Rose’s question.

“Our bond was strange at first. Neither of us was too adept at addressing the other. I always made everything so dark and she was always trying to shoot me,” he says and they must think he's joking because Finn and Rose can’t help but laugh.

He tells them briefly of their conversations during those few days. How they could touch from across the galaxy. How Rey came to him on the Supremacy, but that they already know. Finn mentions that Hux had released the footage from the throne room and they had seen how he killed Snoke.

Ben remembers Maz telling them on the Epoch of how Hux had delivered a speech, announcing himself as Supreme Leader and issuing the galaxy-wide bounty to kill him and Rey and kidnap Lorelei. It must have been then he revealed the footage. 

Ben moves Lei to his lap as she’s done eating. He cleans off her face before eating for himself what was left out of the bowl, talking in between bites. Lei plays with his fingers and he hugs her closer

“Well, from then on, we defeated the guards but naturally, just minutes later, I messed it all up and tried to get her to join me. 'Rule by my side', conquer the galaxy kind of stuff and she turned me down. I was still…” he just rolls his eyes, “you know, a dumbass so I didn't take it very well. Not that I’m any better now, I’m just a different kind of dumbass, I guess.”

Finn and Rose give small chuckles again, taking his meaning. _Dumbass_ meant to substitute the former alias _Kylo Ren_.

“She didn’t appear to me again until after my mother passed. It was then that everything kind of shifted into place. I had been so miserable, living with the repercussions of my decisions. With the words I had said to her," he shakes his head, trying to forget the horrible things he's said to her. Words said whole lifetimes ago now. "It made me realize how wrong I was. About everything.”

 _So it had been about three years or so. About since Leia passed_ , Rose understands. “You two were seeing each other the whole time?” she asks.

Ben nods, “Through the bond mostly. Sometimes we would meet at anonymous planets and just pretend for a few days. We would pretend we were just Ben and Rey.” Ben pushes his bowl aside, bringing Lei up to sit on the table again so he can look at her little face. So he can keep himself going.

“And on Lah’mu, _our home_ , that’s all we ever were. I was Ben, she was Rey. Lei was Lei," he says, gently swiping Lorelei's nose when he says her name. "It wasn’t ‘pretend’ anymore. It was real. More real than anything I’ve ever known.”

“Gnngh ga da ba…” Lorelei babbles a little and Ben smiles. Unable to restrain the surge of hope that blooms in his chest when he hears her little voice.

Speaking of real, Rose can’t believe this entire exchange was actually happening. It was probably the most sincere she’s ever seen someone speak of another.

Ben loves Rey so much. She glances from the side of her eye to look at Finn who looks like his eyes were shining. She reaches over to hold his hand under the table.

“It must have been so scary,” Finn says as he squeezes Rose's hand.

Ben looks to him. Unsure of _when_ he means but knowing how regardless of the time frame, _yes,_  Ben was scared.

“When you found out, I mean,” he nods to Lei, now leaning into Ben’s shoulder. “When Rey got pregnant.”

Ben gives a heavy sigh, “Terrifying,” he answers. His hands instinctively running past Lorelei’s back. “When I found out, she appeared to me from this room actually,” he says. His eyes pointedly look away from the bed as he thinks of what they did after, keeping that to himself but blushing slightly.

“Was Rey okay?” Rose asks, “From having her, I mean. Was her pregnancy...” Rose doesn’t know exactly how to phrase it, “...smooth?”

“Aside from Lorelei coming a little early, the actual pregnancy was fine. It was more the distance and being scared out our minds that made it seem like forever. Our bond was strained. Rey’s force energy was devoted to growing Lei and we couldn’t meet anywhere in case someone sighted her. In case someone tried to reveal that she was pregnant," he tells them. Ben looks down, "I didn’t sleep most nights, I was so scared. Never knowing for sure if they were okay.” 

Ben thinks at least that was easier than what was happening now. Because now he knows now that Rey isn't okay. He has different reasons to not sleep at night.

“ _Kriff_ , that sounds impossible,” Finn shakes his head.

“It felt like it sometimes," Ben nods. "I can’t imagine us not having her though.” Ben looks back at Lorelei, brushing her hair past her big ears. Her hands reach out and touch his face. Finn and Rose watch in complete admiration, the gentle scene before them so fluid and seamless. This clearly happened often.

Ben carries on, lost in his daughter's face, “She’s so much like Rey. So bright and strong. She’s shown me so much, made me think of things so differently, just like Rey did.”

Rose smiles, “Shown you things?”

“Yeah, well, I guess it doesn’t really make sense. I just think there were things from before I never would have thought about. Things I thought didn’t matter but they do.” Ben doesn't know how to explain it. His eyes, however, land on the metal spoon from the discarded tray. He holds it up to show them. To try and explain, “Like how at home we have all these different colored spoons. All coated in rubber so they don’t hurt her gums when we feed her. I didn't think something as trivial as a spoon could ever mean something to me, but it means so much.”

Finn looks at this man across from them. In one hand he holds a spoon, in his other arm is his daughter that cuddles against him like she had been all day. He sees what a caring and compassionate father he is.

As much as he seems to doubt himself, Ben was a great father. That was made clear today as everyone watched him care for her, carry her everywhere, feed her, rush back to his quarters to change her, only to come back placing little kisses into her black hair.

“She’s really amazing, Ben. And I heard her say your name today. Is she saying a lot of words?” Rose asks.

Ben gives a small smile, “Just that one. She said it for the first time just the other night. We were playing with her, trying to get her to tire out a bit before bed like we usually do when she said it,” Ben recalls.

 _“That’s my new favorite thing,”_ Rey had said as she held him close moments after.

“She likes to play?” Finn asks, his eyes watching the baby closely. He can tell Ben doesn’t want to let go of her, but admittedly Finn has wondered what it would be like to hold her. To play with her sounds fun.

Ben nods, “Yeah, a lot. She’s been crawling now, so she’s been busy exploring lately. We even had all these blankets that we made into a fort in our living room and-” Ben halts as he thinks of the blankets Rose had placed on the bed, an idea forming in his head.

He’s been trying to think of some way that he could comfort Lei. Maybe this could work.

Finn and Rose watch Ben as he stares at the other end of the room. He’s stopped talking and now seems overly distracted. “A fort?” Finn asks, unsure of how a fort is made of blankets.

Ben stands up, examining the floor, “Yeah. We turned over some chairs and draped the blankets over the couches. She loved it.” He looks to Lei still slumped against his shoulder. He decides to try something.

He turns back around to Finn and Rose, “Can you guys stand up?” They move to their feet and he strides over before them, moving their chairs to the middle of the room, along with his own. It takes some time with one hand though and he gives Lei a brief look before considering the available hands on the other side of the room.

He turns to them, “Do you think...can one of you hold her for a minute?” Rose’s eyes go wide. Did he really ask them if one of them could hold his daughter?

“Oh well- you know I don’t know if I’m qualified. I’ve never...I’ve never held a baby before,” she says, worried her shakey hands would drop the baby. But Finn surprisingly steps forward.

“I can take her,” he says.

Ben was much taller than Finn, so he stands before him looking down, though not condescending. Big enough though that Finn imagines if he knew his father, what it might have felt like to look up at him.

Ben places the baby in his, at first, awkward arms and shows him how to support her properly. Finn laughs as Lorelei looks more than a little confused as they meet eyes for the first time. “There, you got her,” Ben says, running his hand past Lei’s back. He keeps his mind open to hers as he can feel how she’s a little nervous to be held by someone new.

_I’m right here, Lei. You’re safe, sweetheart._

As if she understands, Lei brings her little hands up to pat Finn’s face. Rose laughs as Finn squishes his face, tensing up where the baby’s hands wandered but laughing all the same.

Ben smiles but moves away to the thin mattress on the bunk and laying it on the floor. He sets up the several chairs he has around it and begins creating a smaller replication of the blanket fort they had at home.

When he’s done, he sees how Finn and Rose are watching him in a mix of fascination and slight concern. A grown man obsessively setting up a blanket fort probably looked strange. Still, they remain focused on Lorelei and speak to her softly.

He moves to the backpack against the wall and pulls out Captain Kriffie and a few of the other soft things he stuffed in before he left home. He pulls out the sketchbooks in his haste and places them beside him on the floor.

Gathering the toys, he throws them inside to land on the mattress, pillows, and blankets. He turns back to Finn and holds out his arms, taking Lei back. As well behaved as she was, her little arms cling to him tightly as he takes her back.

She's anxious to be back with her father.

“Dada,” she squeaks.

“ _Ohmygod! Iloveher! She’ssocute!_ ” Rose squeaks immediately after. She speaks so quickly that Ben has no idea what she’s said, but Finn seems to understand and turns in full agreement.

“I know! Me too!” Finn gushes.

Ben ducks inside and places Lorelei on the mattress, revealing her toys to her. “Gah! Gana hggnh da!” she crawls forward and examines her toys she hasn’t seen in days. Beside where Ben is crouched at the opening of blankets, Finn and Rose kneel beside him and watch as the little girl crawls around and speaks to her toys.

When she finds Captain she picks him up and slobbers all over him, a smile appearing on her face for the first time since Ben last saw it several nights ago. It fills him with the slightest sense of relief. He can finally begin to really believe how they were going to be okay.

Both Finn and Rose gasp as Lei smiles. Finn chuckles, “She smiles like Rey.”

“Like, exactly like her,” Rose elaborates.

Ben hears them but keeps his eyes only on Lei, “I know.”

Ben takes off his boots and ducks further in so he’s right next to Lei. Rose and Finn sit crosslegged and watch to see what Lorelei was up to. They continue their conversations.

Rose tells them how she and her sister used to combine their blankets to make their own worlds but it never looked as comfy as the one Ben threw together in a few minutes. Finn thinks that, since he's never built one, he would very much like to. Already making a mental inventory of how many blankets they had in their own quarters. 

Ben's train of thought naturally reverts back to Rey and their home, but he sees how Finn and Rose don't seem to mind. And speaking about his home, about their life, it helps Ben ground himself. It helped him from spiraling into his darker thoughts.

“It sounds like you were happy there. On Lah’mu," Rose says. 

Ben answers a little solemnly, “We were. I’ve never been so happy in my life. Happier than someone like myself ever deserves to be.”

Finn leans forward, “What did you guys do every day?” he asks. He’s curious what a life without war is like.

Ben again smiles at the thought. He’s never really been one for conversation with anyone, besides Rey. But now, he was telling them about Rey. About his family and their home. It kept him steady and he’s glad he asked them to stay. They were good people and he’s glad that Rey had such loyal friends. Friends that loved her enough to make peace with him.

“Well, we were basically farmers. I wasn’t great at it but the food was pretty good. At least that’s what Rey said every day.”

They both laugh, “She says that about everything!”

Ben actually laughs too, “I know! That’s what I always tell her but she insists.”

Lorelei, feeling the sudden amusement from her father, his laugh is contagious and she joins in. It’s not her usual ecstatic laugh but she giggles along with them and Ben pulls her closer to him, kissing her dimpled cheeks.

The whiskers of his mustache and slight beard make her giggle further as they tickle her cheeks. His heart elates at the sound and he takes a deep breath, recalling what else he could share with the two eager listeners.

“The rest of the time, we just did what we wanted. We would spar sometimes, go for walks, do laundry,” he tells them. He realizes when he says it like that it sounds rather plain. But he thinks of the metal spoon still on the table. Those tasks, that were domestic or trivial to some, meant everything to them. “Other times we would take our speeder to the shore and watch the sunset. Lorelei loved the rides and Rey and I took turns driving it around.”

Ben smiles at those memories. He can't believe those memories were his. He lived those moments. "And we just made up for all the time we never had. Rey and I, for the first time, we were free. I mean, I know we were hunted and we were in hiding, but it didn't feel like it. It felt like freedom."

Rose and Finn watched him like he was telling them a fantasy tale. A story from another era.

“And I drew a lot. We couldn’t take pictures or holos or anything so I started drawing in a sketchbook, keeping track of her little milestones. I used to draw a lot as a kid so I  spent a lot of time getting the hang of it again.”

Finn looks over to the backpack slumped on the floor. There were two thick hardbound paper books beside it. “Oh! Are those your sketchbooks?” He moves to go pick them up.

"Yeah, They're-" Ben jolts up, realizing _the other_ sketchbook was there too. Trying to look calm he quickly moves out of the fort and sees Finn about to pick them up off the ground. Ben summons them to his hands. The books speed across the room through the air into his grasp. Finn’s eyes shoot back to Ben and Rose looks a little startled, shocked by the display. More fascinated than anything but Ben sees how instantly they’re both confused again.

“Sorry. I um...this other one is...uhhh,” he stammers trying to think of what to call it. The sketchbook that had pages and pages filled with Rey completely nude. The one he promised would never be seen by any other eyes but their own. “It’s not important. Just journal stuff. Notes about crops and farming. Boring. Really boring,” he lies, scratching the back of his neck. He knows it sounds incredibly suspicious. Finn makes his way back over, sitting back down in his spot while they watch him curiously.

Ben tucks the sketchbook behind him on the mattress but doesn’t account for Lei’s eyes to land on it.

Lorelei kicks her little feet and with it, the book flies open as if it was her usual bedtime story of _Fuzzy Ewoks_.

Ben continues to put his foot in his mouth, saying how important it is to keep track of what crops need certain attention but watches as Finn and Rose's eyes slowly go wide as they look behind him slightly.

By the time Ben is aware of what the cause is, feeling the small increase in Lorelei's energy, he turns to see the book open to a page of Rey reclined on their couch. Her eyes closed, hair fanned out, and her breasts depicted quite attentively with a ridiculous amount of detail. 

He dives for the book, slamming it shut, “Shit…” he mutters under his breath. He looks back to them, seeing the grins threatening to split their face. 

Rose watches as the man’s face turns bright red and she can’t help but smirk, “Of course. Important farming notes, we get it. Don’t we Finn?” she winks at Finn.

“For sure. Got to keep those harvesting secrets to yourself. I understand,” he tries and fails to keep a similar smile off his face.  

Ben can tell they're teasing him and he covers his face with his hand. An embarrassed chuckle coming through his words, “Rey’s gonna kill me.”

Finn and Rose laugh hysterically. “For what it’s worth Ben, they are beautifully done,” Rose jokes but Ben goes even redder. “Can we see what the other one has in it?” she asks trying to save him and give them a new topic.

“Hmm?” Ben looks up, still too mortified from what just happened. Lei’s force abilities at this age were challenging, but that was a new level. Rose's question hits him a moment later, “Oh yeah. Here.” He passes the family-friendly sketchbook over to them, watching as they fawn over the pages.

Clearly, they were not dwelling on the events that just happened. He’s glad that they seem to take mercy on him and move past it. Distracted by the drawings of Lei from some of her first few days. How tiny she was. 

Ben takes the opportunity to turn to Lei. She was back to slobbering all over Captain. _We are never telling your mother about that_ , he says to her though she has no idea what he’s saying.

Finn and Rose admire page after page at the intricate renderings Ben has done. The little notes he has written in the corners. Every time they turn to a page that has Rey, they gasp and praise Ben for what an amazing likeness it is.

Ben leans back so he’s sitting beside Lorelei again. He first tucks his Rey sketchbook under the thin mattress and out of sight to avoid another episode before pulling the baby into his chest. Although she only turned a few pages, the little display left her tired and he watches as she yawns and leans against him.

Ben, surprisingly, yawns too. Rose notices this and looks to the chrono on her wrist. It was late. She nudges Finn, “We should get going,” she tells him.

At first, Finn looks disappointed. He was a having a great time and could see how there were still plenty of pages to look at. But then looks to see how tired the father and daughter were. “Right. Hey, we’ll see you in the morning, Ben.”

“Alright. Thank you for dinner and the blankets," he tells them honestly. "And for staying around. Really, it helps.”

“Thank you for having us. Comm us if there’s anything you need. If she gets hungry or anything we know how to activate the kitchen droids in the middle of the night," Finn tells him.

Ben thanks them again and they see themselves out, insisting Ben stay inside the fort and they could see themselves out, taking note that Lorelei’s eyes were already closing.

They shut off the lights on their way out and close the door behind them.

On their walk back to their quarters, Finn expresses his amazement to Rose. “He’s so gentle with her. With Lorelei. It’s just captivating to watch.”

“And the way he talks about Rey,” Rose muses. “He loves them both so much.”

Finn hears how she sounds a little distant. _Rey_.

"We're gonna get her back. Ben won't stop until he does, and neither will we."

Rose takes his hand, smiling at his words. They walk a little further before she speaks again, "It's strange isn't it?"

"Which part?" Finn chuckles.

"That our Rey found true love through the force. That she and Ben are like the actual embodiment of everything beautiful to ever happen, like ever. Romantic holodrama level commitment."

Finn laughs but knows what she means. He knows they’ve been together for a while now, and that they loved each other. But to see how immensely Ben and Rey loved each other, just through the stories Ben told, it was enough for them to think of their own relationship.

Because they weren’t like them.

But Finn and Rose had their own kind of special things to enjoy. Like how they both secretly loved watching those ridiculous romantic holodramas after they stole Hoth chocolate from the kitchens. Their love wasn't on a galactic level they knew, but they had their own things they liked.

Their own versions of Ben's spoons.

“Well, if you ever want to take our relationship to the next level...” Finn starts, pretending to sound serious. Rose looks to him, a little anxious of what he’s going to say. “...then I’ll let you draw me naked any time you want.”

“Shut up!” Rose shoves him but they both laugh quietly in the night air.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, I get the feeling like I've adopted this Eric Draven vibe into how I write Ben. I kind of go all out in this chapter with his whole, "I used to think spoons were just spoons, but spoons are everything" kind of mood. But I just feel like soft, dad, artist, Eric Draven-esque, Ben Solo is fairly cannon so we're gonna roll with it.  
> "Little things used to mean so much to Shelly. I used to think they were kind of... trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial."
> 
> Also, I wanted to put in that one line where Finn's looking up at Ben, wondering if standing next to someone that massive and loving was what it'd be like to look up to his own father. I always recall that one line Domhall says that hugging Adam is like hugging a parent because he's so big.


	30. Punch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had my wisdom teeth pulled the other day (the morning after finals) so I was all like "Oh yeah, I'm gonna update like every day and write like there's no tomorrow because I'll have all this downtime," but then I literally keep falling asleep at my computer so this took forever. The exhaustion of everything caught up to me at once and I've just been so tired. 
> 
> As usual, I'm here to tell you that this chapter is all over the place and that it hurts but it's still all for the greater good. At this point, I'm probably annoying the shit out of you so I'll let you read and we'll talk after.
> 
> Thanks, babes.
> 
> [Fair warning I think I'm still high from the meds. I've eaten nothing but mashed potatoes and miniature slices of pancakes for three fucking days! I apologize if this chapter is a reflection of that.]

Despite the evening being pleasant with Finn and Rose to keep him and Lorelei company, Ben never sleeps longer than an hour throughout the night. Lorelei does a little better but she wakes up too often.

Never hungry or needing to be changed. She just felt wrong.

Ben wished she could have lasted in that safe little bubble, made physical by the blankets around them but he knows he was just kidding himself. That hollow within them aches still. “I know. I feel it too,” he had whispered to her in their shared exhaustion.

She finally goes back to sleep a little before dawn, but Ben knows he wouldn’t be. So, he creates a small barricade of pillows and blankets around the baby in case she rolls around. He wants her to sleep as much as she can.

As he shifts, she rolls over a little, as she did the other morning on Lah’mu. He had eased out of bed and she rolled away from his body heat to get closer to Rey’s. She tries to do that now but Rey isn’t there. He frowns as that familiar pang shoots through his chest.

_Mommy will be here soon. Daddy is gonna find her._

As usual, if this was for the baby or himself, Ben isn’t sure.

As Ben rises, he rolls over and lands on the bump in the mattress. It was from where he was hiding the other sketchbook. He pulls it out before looking at Lei again, still asleep. He might have laughed now if it wasn’t totally mortifying. Lei had no understanding of what she did, exposing detailed nude drawings of her mother to two of her friends.

_Their friends?_ Ben wonders. Were they friends now, or was all of this just for the greater good of getting Rey back? He isn’t sure but regardless, they were kind and they were going to help him.

Ben stands so he can find a more discrete place to hide the sketchbook in his hands, hoping to avoid any situations like that in the future. He sees a drawer on the wall next to the bunk.

Opening it, he sees Rey left behind some things. Some ancient Jedi texts to be specific.

Ben can’t help but smirk. The ancient texts of entire religion stowed away, but not serving any use.

He sets the sketchbook down and notices that some of Rey’s own papers were left behind as well. He picks up one, admiring her familiar scripture.

It’s a list:

 

_Lyra_

_Lana_

_Leandra_

_Lani?_

_Leilani_

_Lei something…_

 

It’s a list of names.  All “L” names.

He turns back around to look at the real Lei who is sleeping as soundly as she can.

_Lorelei._ That was the name Rey was looking for. The perfect name for the perfect person.

Ben’s eyes sting with tears.

Rey was such a compassionate and loving mother. Always thinking of Lei. Always thinking of him. He runs his fingers past the paper, traces of Rey making themselves known and he brings it to his lips. Trying to claim them.

He tucks it inside the sketchbook, not wanting to lose it but unable to look at it anymore. His chest not able to take the ache that increases once any relief is found.

He turns away, heading for the fresher. He hadn’t had a shower in days and he wanted to rinse off. Quickly though. He's worried to leave Lorelei alone for too long. Even if she was only a room away.

 

* * *

 

Finn and Rose find Ben in the mess hall before anybody else does. He looks like he’s been there for a while as he finishes his breakfast and Lorelei is holding a near-empty bottle.

They had left his quarters last night to them on the verge of sleep, but they can tell he didn’t rest much.

“Hey,” he says to them. His voice is quiet and the bags under his eyes are darker than they were yesterday. They acknowledge though that his hair looks combed and now shiny from something cleansing other than grease.

He was trying.

“Hey,” they both say back as they sit down to eat.

Rose takes a bite before nodding to Lorelei, “How is she? I mean, you know, aside from the obvious.”

Ben shakes his head a little, “The same,” he tells them, wishing desperately he could say something else. He wishes he could say “Better” but knows if anything she’s worse. Finn and Rose both nod, sad to see the little baby wasn’t maintaining her disposition from last night. They had both melted when they heard her little giggle.

“How about you, Ben? How are you feeling?” Finn asks. To this, Ben lets out a chuckle, only it isn’t meant to be funny.

“The same,” he repeats. Again, like Lei, he’s the same if not worse. He leaves out the part about how he cried in the shower that morning because the soap smelled like Rey.

Maz walks into the hall a moment later. She grabs a bowl and then joins their table of quiet conversation. She sits next to Ben, quickly kissing Lorelei over her black hair, “Good morning, my dear.” She then pats Ben on the back, “And my other dear.”

Finn and Rose smile at the small pirate woman’s attempts to cheer them up, but Ben just mumbles his response while he tries to finish his breakfast as fast as he can.

“It’s not a contest, Ben,” Maz says to him.

Ben wipes his face with a napkin, finally done with the meager meal before placing Lei’s empty bottle on the table. “I need to get to the control center. If Hux wants to announce anything he’ll do it soon, especially if he’s keeping his ship on central time.”

“If she’s on the Ascendancy, how the hell are we gonna get to her?” Finn asks, only meaning to start a discussion of the logistics of it all. But Ben takes it differently.

“We’ll find a way,” he says, a little too tense and immediately regretting it. These were the people that _wanted_ to help him. _Friends,_  Ben reminds himself _._ “I'm sorry. I...I didn’t mean to...Sorry, Finn.”

“It’s fine, Ben. No worries,” Finn tells the father. He means it too. He and Rose are dealing with the loss of one of their dearest friends and it has left them devastated. But that must not even begin to describe what Ben is feeling. Ben who loved Rey so much.

Rey who was the mother of his child.

Ben sees how more members start to trickle in and he tries to keep his voice down. He doesn’t want his insecurities branded across his forehead more than they already are. “I just...I don’t know how to help Lorelei when we feel like this. When the whole Rey part of our brains has been shut off. I try to keep my mind more open to her without letting her feel too much. I don’t want her to feel every terrifying doubt that runs through my head. It’s hard while also trying to keep her walls up and safe.”

“Her walls?” Finn asks.

Ben realizes that actually sounds strange when out of context and tries to clarify. “Rey and I build up these little mental barriers for her. We’ve been trying to regulate her more since she started using the force,” He adjusts Lorelei to his other thigh and he brushes his hand past her head, wishing the touch could soothe the discomfort, wishing it was that easy. “But ever since Rey was taken, the walls aren’t as strong with only me to keep them there. Especially when we both feel so drained.”

“It won’t be much longer, Ben,” Maz tells him. Something in the back of his mind wants to doubt that. To question if that was possible. But he doesn’t. Instead, he nods, trying to believe her words. Trying to believe that Rey was alright and he would get her back.

He has to stand up, instantly wanting to be away from the table. Feeling that suffocated sensation again. So strange when you know there’s plenty of air.

“I’ll meet you in the control room,” he says turning away from the table and striding for the door, desperately hoping he didn’t have any more tears.

* * *

Poe skipped breakfast in the mess hall. That mush the kitchen droids threw together was not really his taste so he ate his usual breakfast. It was prepared by a culinary droid who used fresh ingredients for his meals.

Poe was slightly ashamed that everyone else was subjected to eat the despicable crap in the mess hall, but as of late he lost his ability to care. Everyone seemed to question everything Poe did. Choosing to side with a murdering psychopath instead. Poe figured he would allow himself a guilt-free breakfast if everyone was going to insist the man was otherwise.

So, Poe was already in the control room that morning when “Ben” came sulking in, whispering softly to the baby high on his hip.

Where Poe keeps his eyes trained on him, Ben purposefully keeps his eyes away, focused only on the child. Ignoring the obvious burn that Poe’s gaze has on him.

The General scoffs but is called away by Kaydel a moment later. “What’s today’s forecast?” he asks her.

“First Order has scheduled another announcement. Set to air in ten minutes. I think it might be…you know,” her eyes trail to glance in Ben’s direction but she means to say Rey’s name.

Poe considers this. Perhaps today’s speech will leave him with the precise opportunity to confront Kylo and expose him for who he is. “Excellent,” Poe mutters.

Kaydel watches him in near disgust. Of all the stupid schemes she’s ever helped him with, this one she hates. His eagerness to exploit the man who has already lost so much. The son of the woman they both respected so much. She decides she won't play along this time. He was going too far.

Poe was being a right idiot and Kaydel wishes she had the fire within her to slap him like Leia used to do but knows nothing good will come of it.

“First Order broadcast. Ten minutes,” she announces to those in the room but mostly to the father slumped against the far wall. 

* * *

 

Chewie walks into the control center to find Ben already waiting there. The man stands off to the side, speaking softly to Lorelei.

He looks so broken.

Like he’s lost, but he’s trying to find his way for the sake of Lei. He’s trying so hard.

As others gather inside, Chewie makes his way to stand beside the father. He wants to remind Ben how regardless of how this announcement goes, he was going to be beside him all the way.

He rests a hand on the man’s shoulder, peering over a little to catch a glimpse of Lei’s little face. “Hey, little Lei,” he greets her but the baby doesn’t even smile. Chewie looks to Ben in remorse. Chewie was usually greeted with praise and sometimes noises that sounded like his own. But he can see well enough that wasn’t going to happen now.

Ben turns his head to look up to him. The deep sorrow in his eyes reminding him of the young boy he once was. Those ancient eyes Han spoke of once. So much pain they’ve been through and now this.

Now the same eyes of Lorelei who must witness such tragedy.

Ben speaks quietly, only loud enough for Chewie to hear. “She’s hurting, Chewie,” his voice trembles and his lips quiver slightly, as if he could shatter at any moment.  The wookiee is unsure if Ben is referring to Rey or Lorelei but realizes it was interchangeable.

“I know. We’ll stop it.”

More people flock inside, the news of the next announcement spreading across the base. Finn, Rose, and Maz make their way over to stand before the screen that Ben stares at almost obsessively.

The First Order insignia has appeared. It’s a symbol Ben has seen so many times. It as the brand that has stolen his life from him in more ways than one. 

Thoughts of anger course through him as he stares at the screen. Of all the ways he could kill Hux. Of all the ways he should have killed him years ago.

But these visions are followed closely by the warmth of the daughter he holds tenderly in his arms.

Their minds were so open to each other. He shouldn't be thinking like that when she could very well pick up on it. So, he stifles his rage as best he can.

And then the black screen bleeds into red. Red curtains, suspiciously familiar to those in Snoke’s throne room. There’s a throne as well, but this time it was Hux sitting there with a sadistic sneer on his face.

All goes silent in the base and everyone leans forward to the various screens scattered around.

_“Greetings. Today I stand before you with tremendous news. Recently, with the return of my two knights Soldar and Xid...”_ Hux turns to gesture at the two standing beside him. The remaining four knights standing at full attention further behind.

_“...They have brought with them a fantastic prize. They took it upon themselves to investigate in the less favorable corners of the galaxy in the attempt to apprehend our loathsome fugitives. And today, we acknowledge their efforts as we finally have obtained something of value.”_

The bounty poster of Rey appears on the screen, the word "Apprehended" flashing across her face. But she still remains visible. Visible enough for Lorelei to take notice.

“Gah ba ma...Gnngh ga!” she cheers, squirming in Ben’s arms, trying to reach out to her mother. Ben gets a hold of her bringing her closer, whispering softly in her ear, trying to calm her down. Still, her head spins around, trying to get a look at Rey.

“It isn’t mommy, Lei. Don’t look,” he whispers. He isn’t sure where this announcement was headed but if Lorelei was watching this, he didn’t want her to have to see her mother in pain.

He sure as hell wasn’t prepared to see that.

Hux continues on and Ben tries to keep Lei’s face tucked into his jacket. Denying the tears that are insistent to flow. Denying the urge to race to the First Order that instant and rip through all the walls that kept Rey locked away.

* * *

 

Hux has his hands behind his back, sneering as the image of the girl is displayed to everyone. “Yes. We have captured Rey, the _false_ Jedi. Unfortunately, we have yet to apprehend Kylo or their child, but now that we have obtained her, the rest shouldn’t be as strenuous of a task.”

Hux turns to Commander Lennox at the control panel, gesturing with his hand to change to the cell cameras. Today, will not be for torture, at least not physical. Today, he just wants to give Kylo a taste of what the woman is going through.

To see if he bites back.  

Lennox nods and Hux sees on the monitor to the side how it shows the woman in her cell, disoriented as the blinding lights turn on once again. They all chuckle as she fumbles on the ground, her eyes squinting, expecting someone to come through the door.

Hux speaks, his voice continuing over the footage of the woman that the entire galaxy can see in all her pathetic glory. “It is this woman who has threatened our galaxy by breeding with the traitorous Kylo Ren. The woman who thought she could hide from the scales of justice by living in squalor with the traitor and their filthy offspring. This is what we were looking for all this time. This scrawny, filthy excuse for a Jedi. As you can see, there is no reason to fear. She is nothing but scum.”

 

* * *

 

Rey's eyes adjust to the blinding lights, but she winces as she can hear the deafening sound of Hux’s voice blaring through the speakers. He must have been making some sort of speech because although he wasn’t speaking to her, it was about her.

She tries to tune him out. She doesn’t care what he calls her, but to hear him refer to Lorelei as he does, it makes her heart wrench in her chest.  _Filthy offspring_ , he says mockingly.

_“Seems to be a pathetic excuse for a mother as well, doesn’t she?”_ Hux chuckles. 

Rey feels like she could cry if she wasn’t so fucking dehydrated. And she finds she’s grateful for it. She doesn’t want to let them see her break. Still, she curls into the wall beside the chain that keeps her there.

_“As you can see there is little reason to account this woman for any power aside from her abilities to seduce Kylo Ren. A most terrifying feat it must have been. Something no one else had ever even attempted,”_ Rey clenches her jaw, trying to think of anything but the smug look that must be on that weasel’s face.

She thinks of all the times Ben must have thrown him into walls or control panels and is amazed at the restraint he must have had not to kill him completely.

_Ben!_

He could be watching this. Maybe he could see her right now. She hopes more than anything he and Lorelei are safe and that he will have the foresight to know how dangerous it would be to come for her.

That had to be Hux’s plan. Trying to exploit her like this, trying to strike some sort of reaction out of him so he’ll come for her.

_“Knowing Kylo though he probably just used this woman to carry on his lineage. He was always rather obsessive of his Darth Vader origins. That is likely why he and the child evaded capture. There was no use for the mother anymore.”_

Rey shuts her eyes tight, trying to block out the words. She tries to keep herself together, knowing Ben was likely having a proper conniption right now.

_Please, just keep her safe. I will be fine. Let me keep you safe this way. Don’t come. I love you. I love you both so much... Always._

Suddenly the lights turn out and the sound of Hux’s voice ceases. She takes the cover of the dark as her only sanctuary and she crumbles back against the floor, sobs ripping from her throat. Hoarse and dry and filled with nothing but the sadness of all she had lost.

She would likely never see her family again. Her Lorelei. Her Ben.

Her everything.

* * *

 

The cameras are centered back on Hux. “Although this is a most exciting achievement, we are still looking for two fugitives. As usual, if any information is known of Kylo Ren or the child, you are to contact the First Order immediately. It is crucial that we discover Kylo soon. With him in charge of the child, he is likely to teach it in the ways that could lead to our destruction. Their capture, or surrender,” Hux looks far into the cameras, speaking directly to Kylo just then, “still remains one of our highest priorities. Thank you.”

Applause commences as the broadcast ends and Hux bows before them. "Excellent job, sir," Lennox praises. "I think we'll be seeing Kylo sooner than we expected."

"Indeed," Hux hums.

 

* * *

 

The screen fades as the transmission ends. The roar of all the Resistance members begins again at a ferocious pace. Everyone debating about what they just saw. Some eyes trained on the man who stood still staring at the screen, holding a whining baby.

Ben is shaking. Trembling.

He saw Rey. He saw her and it ripped his fucking heart out of his chest. She was literally chained to a wall. Her robe and the nightgown she had worn to bed the other night was tattered around the hem. The nightgown she was wearing when he last saw her.

_Oh Rey, I’m so sorry. It should have been me. It should have been me._

And the things Hux had said. Implying that he would only use Rey to carry on his bloodline. That Rey had outgrown her use for him. It left him nauseous.

For the first time, Ben isn’t sure he trusts his own shaking hands to hold his daughter. He fears that combined with his clammy palms and shuddering distress, he isn’t strong enough. Distress can turn to anger, he knows.

He turns around to Chewie who was beside him the whole time, “Chewie, I can’t...Can you, for just a minute?” he holds out his arms, unable to properly finish the question but Chewie takes his meaning.

He opens his arms, “I got her. It’s okay, Ben.”

“Thank you,” he moans back, his throat so tight, threatening to release the sobs that were hiding in his chest. He tries to breathe, wondering if he was about to vomit and trying to see if there was a waste bin nearby, just in case. 

“Alright, let’s find out where this Ascendancy is,” Maz announces. “Finn see if you and Rose can find out where it was embarking after Coruscant.”

“Got it!” they both rush over to a nearby panel.

“I want another team trying to find out what kind of company he’s traveling with. Are there any ships with him or is the Ascendancy flying on it’s lonesome? Sounds unlikely but let’s know for sure.”

“On it!” a trail of voices announces. All around him Ben can hear how everyone rushes to stations, trying to navigate what to do from here. His wallowing despair is calmed slightly as he sees all that mean to help him get Rey back.

He tries to get his breathing back under control. Malla and Chewie stand beside him as he tries to balance himself again. He tells himself all the things he wants so badly to be true.

_Rey’s going to be okay and she’ll be back soon and Hux won’t ever touch them again. And then we’ll-_

“Whoa, excuse me. What the hell is going on?” Poe’s voice emerges from the many others, immediately killing the energy of the whole room. “You’re all just gonna start making a grocery list of things to do? Did you forget that I’m the General here.”

Finn steps forward, “Poe, did you not just see that? Rey, she’s-”

“Yes, I saw it. She’s on the biggest fucking ship ever made by the First fucking Order. Are you all crazy? We don’t stand a chance against it.”

Ben’s jaw clenches as the man speaks.

“Dameron, watch it. Just because you’re feeling sour doesn’t mean you get to snap at everyone else,” Maz scolds him.

“No, I’m the only one being fucking sensible. Did you all fail to notice Hux’s kriffing face? He wants us to come for her. He thinks if we do, he can kill us all in one go.”

Ben stiffens. He noticed that too. That one line Hux had said, about their “capture or surrender” so unsettling. Hux wanted this. He wanted to have Ben crawling back and Ben doesn’t want to endanger all of these people that mean to help him.

He just wants Rey back safe. Ben can't help but think of what he asked of Chewie all those months ago.

If he was to be captured, he couldn’t have Rey risking herself and Lei trying to rescue him. But seeing for himself, to see what Rey is subjected to in their clutches, he knows now that he will not stay away. Just like he had expected her to come for him if he was captured. Something he had tried to plan ahead for. But none of that mattered now. He was coming for her. And perhaps that would upset Rey. Maybe she would be worried he and Lei would be taken just like she was if he came for her.

But he won’t let that happen. 

So if Poe wants to make that argument, Ben would have to see past it, even if he can see why it makes sense. 

But Ben knows Poe is more concerned with making a point than preserving lives. His past actions and experience with disobeying orders made that clear.

Rose steps forward, “Poe, it is _our_ choice to help Rey. She has sacrificed herself for us before. Now we will do the same for her!”

“Well you can make your choice, but Rey made her own too. She’s responsible for what happened to her and I think it’s a waste of time to even entertain this idea. As far as I’m concerned, Rey’s already dead. There’s no way we can get her out of there alive. They’ll make sure of that.”

Ben’s fingernails dig into the skin of his palms as his fists shake will such ferocity. “No,” he says through gritted teeth. It is fairly quiet, but the tension in his voice makes the room go silent.

Poe cocks his head towards Ben, considering for a moment his evident turmoil. His current rage just simmering under the surface.

He wasn’t holding the baby, and he looked more pissed than he has in the entire time he’s been here. Perhaps this was the golden opportunity Poe was searching for.

With a smirk, Poe steps forward.

“Don’t be so naive. You of all people should know what the First Order will do to her. And unless there’s a whole battalion of reformed stormtroopers ready to bail her out...” Poe gestures to Finn. Finn who rescued him from Kylo’s torture and had been one of his greatest friends. Now it seemed like Kylo had even ended that. He and Finn had different agendas now, “...then I don’t think you’ll be seeing her anytime soon.”

Ben scoffs stepping toward the man, challenging that petulant glint in his eyes. He knows only the shine of traitorous tears reside in his own eyes.

“I’m getting her back,” Ben seethes. The only response he can muster.

“Well, you’re not doing it with my Resistance-”

“Your Resistance?” Ben questions. Wanting to confront the claim he just made that he owns an entire fucking concept. Did he really think he owned this? Ben wonders how the other members feel about that.

But Poe ignores him and just keeps talking.

“-because the last time we all had an altercation you nearly killed all of us forever, including your precious Rey. It was you who nearly made us extinct the first time!”

Ben hates how Poe just throws these words at him, knowing anything he says of Rey makes him falter. “You seemed to be doing an okay job of killing your members before I ever got involved.”

Poe stiffens. “They were fighters. People of war. They knew what they were getting into.”

“Well, then they know what they’re getting into now. They can make their own fucking choices. I’m not asking them to do this. They want to help because they care about Rey!” Ben says but he hears Lorelei whine a little bit in Chewie’s arms.

_It’s okay, Lei,_ he tries to open his mind back to her as he realizes how scared she is. He realizes in his upset he’s pushed her out of his mind and she feels alone. _I’m sorry. It’s okay._

“No. I’m the General and what I say goes. I’ve considered this mission to be too dangerous for our current state of forces and therefore has been declined.”

“Poe!” a majority of the room shouts.

“Dameron!” Maz tone is a warning. She’s just moments away from kicking him as hard as she can in the shins.

Poe continues anyway, “And we’re already living on the edge enough without the galaxy’s biggest fucking fugitives living here. I’d suggest if you really wanna keep your kid safe you stash her elsewhere.”

Ben wasn’t going anywhere.

“You know, for a man so determined to despise Hux, you two aren’t so different. Neither of you cares if Rey dies or not, you don’t give a shit. You just want to be right. You want to claim everything for yourself. Hux thinks because he's the Supreme Leader he owns the kriffing galaxy. And you, you think because you're the General you own the whole fucking Resistance! This doesn’t belong to you!”

Heads around the room nod at Ben’s words and Poe sees as they resign away from him. The authority his title of General held was becoming nothing but a title. Nothing to be concerned with. Any remaining respect they might have had for him was flooding out quick.

“You fucking bastard,” Poe murmurs. Disgusted that he would dare compare him to a man like Hux.

Ben turns, his eyes settling on Lorelei. She squirms in Chewie’s arms, whining and confused. He’s so ashamed. He doesn’t know how to be there for her while also keeping her from feeling this distress.

_Daddy’s here. It’s gonna be okay._

He’s about to approach her, losing all interest in his dispute with Poe as he looks to the flustered face of his daughter. But Chewie groans and Ben’s attention goes to his face. Suddenly, his eyes are blown wide, “Ben! Look out!”

Ben snaps his head back around to Poe just as his fist flies before his face and strikes him in the cheek.

Ben stumbles back just slightly. The blow enough to rock him where he stands but not much else. The actual impact not painful but the sudden rage that courses through him is undeniable.

However, it is the sudden shriek that comes from Lorelei that unsettles him. She sounds pained. Similar to the cries he heard her give when he found her in her crib after Rey was captured. It strikes him deeper than the blow itself as he realizes through his open thoughts attempting to soothe her, she has also felt that impact. Just like they both felt those shots that hit Rey.

In the absence of her walls, Lorelei felt the trace of Poe’s punch on her own face and suddenly Ben is feeling murderous.

He turns back to Poe, his hands flying for the lapels of his jacket and shoving him up against a wall, eyes burning into his face.

“Ben!” he hears many voices shout at him. The frantic moans of the wookiees being the loudest. He ignores them as he tries to see through the red that invades his vision.

As for Poe, what was a countenance of arrogance a millisecond earlier is now laced with fear. Perhaps he thought Ben was going to kill him.

The darker part of Ben’s brain emerges for a moment, _You should kill him. He hurt Lei._

Ben tries to breathe in between these moments. The cries of Lorelei still piercing his ears. The ache in his chest and in his mind from Rey’s absence.

Hurting Poe wouldn’t stop that. The gap within him won’t be eased just because he thinks the distraction of the dark is tempting enough.

_If I kill him, I will only give her more pain. I don’t want her to see me like that,_ Ben argues with himself.

He needs to be the balance for Lorelei and himself. _I don’t want to kill him. He doesn’t realize what he means. He doesn’t understand what he’s done._

_And he isn't Hux. He isn't worth the anger._

Even if Poe was an asshole, Ben knows he is not the real enemy. He lowers the man to the floor and releases his hold on his jacket before turning back to Lorelei who sobs in Chewie's arms.

Chewie, though he understood why Ben would want to hurt Poe, is relieved that he didn’t.  He settles a hand on the man’s shoulder as he takes his daughter back into his own arms. He means to express how despite everything, he was proud of him.

Lorelei nestles against Ben, “Shh, I’m sorry. It’s alright. I got you,” this time a few tears fall from his eyes. She relaxes as he begins to build her walls back up, chasing away that pain as much as he can. Still, she moans but her sobs have subsided as he kisses her cheek where she felt the most pain.

Everyone watches in utter fascination and anticipation as the man collects himself and the child in his arms. They all see the tears that silently escape his eyes. The tears he neglects to brush away on his cheeks as he tends to his daughter’s tears instead.

Ben begins to notice the attention all trained on him. A mix of astounded, pitiful, and confused. He turns back to Poe who hasn’t budged from where Ben had left him against the wall. His eyes are big in surprise but Ben couldn’t care from what. He didn’t want to think about him anymore.

But still, Ben speaks to him. He needs Poe to understand.

“My daughter and I, we’re connected. Ever since Rey was taken, I’ve been trying to keep myself more open to her, in our minds. Trying to compensate for how terrified she is.”

Ben closes his eyes for a moment between words. He’s never had to be so open with people. Not like this. Not like how he could be with Rey. Rey would listen and he would tell her his fears and thoughts because he wanted to.

But this felt like he had to explain himself. Like he had to testify for his actions and explain why protecting his daughter was important.

He hates it. That suffocating feeling circles back around. And still, he keeps talking. His strife and frustration streaming out of him to Poe Dameron of all people, even if it is heard by many more.

“She’s scared and I’m scared and I’m trying to do whatever I can to help her. But she feels what I feel _._ As much as I’m trying to keep my pain from her I don’t know how. Not when there’s this much fucking pain to feel. I can’t just make it stop, it doesn’t work like that!”

Poe shakes his head, understanding dawning his features, “She feels what you feel?”

“Yes.” Poe’s eyes go wide and hushed words spread out through the room. The suspicions that the child’s cries came from the punch Poe inflicted on her father were confirmed.

She felt it too.

“I don’t care if you hit me. Fuck, I know I deserve it after everything I’ve done to you. And I’m sorry for that! Really, I am. But if you hit me, you’re also hitting her and I can’t let that happen. She’s already in enough fucking agony without knowing what it feels like to get punched in the face. Understand?”

There are tears in Ben’s eyes. His voice cracks as he thinks of all the shit Lei has had to face in the past few days. All the pain she’s had to endure and still just a baby.

Lorelei clings to him tightly as if he might disappear. So frightened. He needs to get her outside. Perhaps if they looked at the trees again and he told her stories of Rey she would relax. Like they did yesterday.

He runs his hands down her back, trying to calm her until he can make that possible.

Poe gives Ben a shaky nod and his eyes cast down. He understands.

Ben doesn’t bother to get an actual response out of him, he rushes from the room, holding a whining Lorelei.

Just as they did yesterday, Finn and Rose begin to rush after him but Chewie intercepts them, eyes begging them to give Ben a moment to himself. They abide, hoping he and Lorelei are alright. They continue to do what Maz had asked of them and trying not to look at Poe who remained where he stood. The collar of his jacket tussled slightly but the downcast of his eyes the most noticeable thing about him.

Because he actually looked embarrassed. That was rare.

Poe stood aimlessly staring for a moment. Reflecting on what he’s just done. Everyone eyes him warily, perhaps looking at him as the literal baby puncher that he was.

_What have I done?_

That hadn’t gone at all as he had thought. Poe threw that punch at the man thinking he would retaliate, expecting him to choke him or something. To expose himself as the psychopath he was.

But no.

Instead, Poe hit him, attacking his daughter as well apparently. The timing of her pained cries too coincidental to be anything else. And still, Poe breathed. Ben left him alive, and despite snarling at him a bit, he actually apologized.

_What kind of time warp was this?_ Poe asks himself, scared of what the answer was.

Maybe, he had been wrong. Perhaps, Kylo Ren was really gone. 

* * *

 

_Coruscant_

The First Order’s transmission had just ended and everyone was expected to move on with their day. Restaurants were back to serving breakfasts. Workers went on with their day. Traffic was just as insufferable as always.

A mother and her son were running late for school that morning as the traffic got worse with every moment. The inside of the hovercraft was silent though and the woman wasn’t sure how to speak to her son who had witnessed the transmission Hux had just delivered. “Quark? You alright buddy?”

Quark looks from the gray window back to his mother. “She’s a mommy.”

“Hmm?” Unie hums, curious as to what he means.

“Rey. That woman they have chained up. She’s a mommy.”

Unie’s eyes cast down, “She is…”

“Why do they want to hurt her for that?” he asks his mother.

Unie sighs. She wasn’t sure how to answer. Supposedly, the generic answer was because Hux decided they were a threat to _his_ galaxy. But what galaxy was there left to own? Ever since Kylo Ren went into hiding, even the core worlds have become a place of misery. Of oppression.

Unie lived here on Coruscant with her son, Quark, hoping to give him a good life. A good education. But just within the last year, he’s seen how thousands of slaves were delivered to their home planet and forced to make the Ascendancy for the Supreme Leader who acted in his own selfish interests.

That was not a good life. It was a life lived in the shadows of the First Order’s treachery. LIved on the sidelines of where they saw thousands of beings beaten endlessly as they were tasked with building the First Order's kingdom.

“I don’t know, my dear. Hux is a...well, he’s not a good man,” she tells her son.

“But at school, the teacher droids say he’s good,” Quark says confused. “Did the mommy do something bad?”

Unie wonders if now was the time to have such a political discussion with her son. She turns around in her seat, eyes focusing on him. The traffic completely stopped and not demanding her attention.

“She’s just trying to keep her baby safe. Rey and Kylo Ren, they want what is best for their daughter. At least, I think so.”

“So, why do they want to kill them?” Quark asks, his voice a little shaky. She knows he must be thinking of his own father. Her husband, Jaxson. He was an officer in the First Order. He was still stationed on Coruscant with them but he was disgusted at the work that was being done. The work he was supposed to do. 

Jaxson came home some nights after long shifts, saying all the slaves that had been beaten that day. He could hardly look at them some evenings, ashamed of what his job asked of him. It's meant that Quark feels a great distance from his father who is too ashamed to look at him. And Quark is too frightened to consider what else his father's job entails aside from the dark uniform he leaves in every morning.

But in past months, Jaxson has said how he and the others have been speaking of a rebellion. Not the actual Rebellion, or Resistance for that matter. Not the one with X-wings and pilots, but just the concept of breaking out. Of fighting back. An idea where all this oppression was stopped by the oppressed.

That’s all a Resistance was anyway. Fighting back. Fighting for what is right.

And if Kylo Ren and his daughter were out there now, he couldn’t stop Hux all on his own. He and Rey would need help.

But for now, Unie looks to her son in turmoil. She wants to tell him the truth. To tell him he can make his own decisions. But if he speaks out of line at school, then he’ll be punished. Any words against the Supreme Leader or the First Order was a serious offense. Even to a six-year-old boy in school.

“Sometimes people are just scared. They run because they have something they need to keep from being caught or maybe it's their only choice. In this case, Kylo and Rey have a baby. A family they wanted to keep safe. But to people like Hux, he doesn’t think that’s fair. He thinks they should answer for what they’ve done.”

“Did you and daddy have to run somewhere when you had me?” Quark asks.

“Well, no. Most people don’t. But Kylo and Rey, they were from separate sides of the war. They came together in love rather than hatred. And to a man like Hux, filled with hate...he probably doesn’t think it’s fair.”

Quark is quiet for a long moment and she worries she’s said too much, overwhelming him. “Quark, are you alright?” she asks him again.

He sniffles, “I hope the baby is okay. She must miss her mom. I’d be really scared if you were taken away.”

Unie leans back in her seat, “Oh, Quark everything is fine. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“Okay.”

She huffs quietly as she turns back around to face the traffic. They were coming up on the exit route for Quark’s school and Unie finds herself hating how much closer they get. The closer she gets to the school that feeds her son such nonsense. Pledging to their Supreme Leader as if he was a noble man.

Hux was a parasite and she didn’t want her son expected to live up to the standards he has bestowed upon them. Her son will not be one of his subjects.

“Quark, change of plans. We’re going to get ice cream.”

“What about school?”

“No school today. Is that alright with you?” She eyes him from the reflector to see the big grin that splits his face.

“Uh-huh.”

“Good. I think I’ll have chocolate," she says.

"Me too," her son beams and it seems like the smallest glint has returned to his eyes. The eyes of a child. Her son deserved to be a child and not the product of war.

Unie steers off, missing her exit for the school with pride. Although it is such a minimal action, it manages to feel so refreshing. Like a first step in the right direction, even if it was supposedly for the sake of ice cream. 

* * *

 

Although Unie and her husband felt frightened by the state of things, speaking of their disloyalty to the First Order in secret, they are not alone. And although Unie’s husband was relatively low in the many ranks of the First Order, Jaxson was not the only one to see all the terror that Hux was inflicting. Many throughout the First Order doubted him. Hated him.

And very few actually feared him. Where Kylo Ren had intimidated most with his force abilities, Hux was nothing without his army.

_But what if he didn’t have an army?_ Was the question people began to ask themselves. What if everything that makes Hux a Supreme Leader were to come crashing down?

Hux’s empire, though vast and intimidating from a glance, was built on a shaky foundation. The galaxy he thought he possessed, for the most part, was massively pissed off. And to the people who had never bothered with the likes of politics or the concept of standing up for something before, they found themselves resorting to the shadows and speaking in secret of how far the galaxy has fallen.

Hushed words of Hux and how he needed to be stopped on the lips of so many. So many who had no idea if the actual Resistance even existed anymore.

Regardless if they were still around, something needed to be done.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poe basically:
> 
> Hopefully, he'll calm down a little and he will reflect on what a Major Asshat he's been. But damn, how about the restraint we saw from Benny boi. He's a mess, yes, but denied that darkness to hurt Poe. I love my son. 
> 
> Hux is feeling pretty sure of himself tho. Crazy bastard thinks he's got it all figured out (but *hint hint*, it doesn't go the way he thinks!)
> 
> And again, I somehow created even more original characters to kind of delve into what the rest of the galaxy is thinking. I feel like in a lot of Star Wars novels (or now that I'm thinking about it, mostly Aftermath), the authors tend to veer off from the main characters every so often to highlight what's going on in the lives of people throughout the galaxy. I think that's a really useful tool especially when Hux's reign is so widespread because the vast majority thinks he's a hoe!!!
> 
> If anyone is still reading this through the thick curtains of sadness I have cast upon our space babes, I'm so proud of you!! We'll get through this (we have to because I already have another story I'm itching to get started and ruin you with).


	31. Arduous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 31 Summary: Shit sucks, what's new...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do my eyes deceive me? We are over 300 kudos!! What kind of Reylo sorcery is this??
> 
> Thank you all so much!! You are all mega space babes and I'm so glad people are actually reading it.
> 
> <3!!

 

Soldar strides into Hux’s throne room. It hadn't been very long since the broadcast had aired. That morning was considered a success and it left Soldar proud though wanting for more. He wanted to start making some headway on those "interrogations" with the girl, but he has a feeling that was what Hux wanted to speak about.

He enters to find him reclining on his throne, eating his lunch and waving him forward, “Soldar! Come in. Hungry?” he offers in what is likely not a credible invitation. Perhaps a test to make sure Soldar remembers his place. 

“No, but thank you, sir. The other knights and I already ate,” he tells him. It was true. Soldar’s relationship with the others for the first time was actually existent. They listened to him.

Xid had not been with them though. He was still irate about how Soldar had saved his life it seemed. Soldar figured that although he was using the concept that originally belonged to Xid, he should still be thanking him for saving his life.

At least Xid didn’t lose a hand or a lightsaber in the process.

“Very well,” Hux says, continuing his meal. “I wanted to ask you a few things, concerning our scavenger.”

“You would like to know what will be done?” Soldar tries to clarify.

“Yes, curious I suppose. After all, I just wish to establish to the galaxy that whatever kind of hope this woman embodies, it is not to be idolized. Her crimes must be seen as those of the worst degree.”

“Well, we plan to start the ‘interrogations’ as soon as we can. The knights and I were planning to use several different methods. The Burning, various chemical torments, more of the electroshock. It’s sure to bring severe agony.”

“I see.”

  
Soldar can tell Hux isn’t amazed. He’s realized how quickly Hux can change his mind. Before Soldar brought the girl back, he doubts Hux would have thought twice about him. But now, Soldar had seemingly replaced Xid’s authority and it needed to be kept that way.

So he thinks fast.

“But I was hoping to introduce a new method actually.”

“Oh?” Hux’s eyebrows arch up.

“Well, it’s not entirely original. I just figured she could provide an interesting opportunity.”

“Consider me intrigued.”

“Of course. That’s why I’d like to have her force suppressant collar removed.”

“What?”

  
“And we could wait for the small traces of the Ysalamir serum to wear off from her system.”

“What the devil for? Without those, she could very well use her force abilities to fandangle her way out of here.”

“Sir, she is weak. She will not make it far with myself and the other knights there to stop her. Besides, she will not be inclined to use the force anyways.”

Hux sneers, his eyes catching something he likes. “I can see you’re going someplace with this. Continue,” he waves a hand, eating the rest of his food while Soldar speaks.

“Force-sensitives, at least the sentimental ones, can sense when one they love is in pain. As long as their connection is open.” Soldar speaks of knowledge actually from his Jedi training. Luke had once spoken of how while he trained with Master Yoda, Darth Vader tortured his friends to lead him to Cloud City. Even though Luke knew it was likely to be a trap, he chased after them anyway. He couldn’t let them die.

Just like Kylo will not be able to resist the bait now.

_Foolish, sentimental Skywalkers._

“If that connection between them opens just enough, the girl will have to find a way to close it if she doesn’t want Kylo or the child to feel her pain. Physical and emotional trauma proves to be rather taxing on a person. She hasn’t slept more than an hour at a time since she arrived. She won’t be hard to stop.”

Hux cleans something in his teeth, brow furrowed as he thinks. “Will the strain kill her though? I'd still like a public execution.”

Soldar shakes head. “I doubt it. It shouldn't disrupt any of our plans. And if there’s any threat of that then we’ll blast her with another one of the Ysalamir shots and she’ll just go back to being useless for a while.”

“So opening this current means that Kylo could actually sense her agony within himself?” Hux gets an excited glint in his eye.

“I believe so, sir.”

“Fascinating. Yes, I think that will do quite appropriately, Soldar. I want it put forward immediately.”

  
“Thank you, sir. It will take some time for its effects to wear off so we will likely have to start the ‘interrogations’ later tonight. I was planning to start in the early hours of the morning so we can throw off any concept of time she’s tried to give herself.”

“Excellent. I look forward to seeing what the result is.”

 

* * *

 

Rey stirs as the lights blare back to life and blind her as always. She groans as she turns to see the boots stomping in through the door.

A strange droid came in a while ago and put a series of needles in her arm. It left her feeling a strange mix of restless and dizzy. The sudden commotion of boots and lights makes her headache flare tremendously.

She isn't entirely sure what the droid gave her. Rey had tried to question the droid about it but he just came packed with a generic First Order response of, “Prisoners do not get the courtesy of having their questions answered.”

She had spent a great deal of time trying to think what they were for and she concludes that since she’s likely been here for at least a few days with nothing to eat, one of the injections were meant to keep her alive without actual food. And as starving as she was, she knew what it felt like to not eat for days. It was much worse than the hunger she felt now.

She can’t think of what the other one could be, though she is unsettled by the salty taste of her mouth and what that means.

She blinks rapidly until she can keep her eyes open for longer than a few seconds to see the dark figures that now stand before her. 

There’s two of them.

One of them chuckles, “What? No ‘hello’?”

Rey rolls her eyes. She wasn’t going to play this game.

“Ahh, she wants to be quiet today. Don’t you little missy?” the other knight says.  This voice sounding distinctly female.

Rey’s fists tighten. “How long have I been here?” she asks, though her voice does not sound like her own. It’s hoarse and dry and sounds so foreign.

“Ahh...Thirsty I bet,” the female knight says. Rey realizes she’s holding a canteen. The knight throws it to the floor before her.

Rey eyes them warily, wondering if it was poisoned. She was so thirsty, her mouth was uncommonly salty and she isn’t sure why. She decides if they were going to poison her with water that might be a mercy at this point. Unscrewing the cap with her frigid fingers she downs the small amount of water they’ve allowed her.

She suddenly has a flashback to her life in the sands. When she would some days have to go all day without water before earning more. The soothing sensation it has on her throat after being parched for who knows how long is not entirely forgotten. But soon enough it is empty and the canteen is summoned back to the knight's hands.

She could have growled. Instead, she asks them a question, “What was that other serum the droid gave me? Why is everything so salty?”

They laugh at her.

“That formula is specially designed for drying you up," he gestures lamely to her chest. "It stops the production of milk in mothers who don’t want to be mothers anymore,” the man says crudely.

“Or when the baby dies and your body needs to know there isn’t a baby to feed anymore,” the female knight chuckles.

Rey’s fingers curl into fists as she realizes what they’ve done to her. “There is a baby to feed! _My_ baby!”

They pretend to look around the room. It almost looks choreographed it’s so animated before they jokingly shove each other. “Oh really? Azmo, have you seen a baby lying around here? They’re so easy to lose these days?”

“Can’t say I have Dono. It seems the sand rat was mistaken. Unless of course, she’d like to tell us where said baby is.” The knight named Azmo crouches so his hands are on his knees and he’s looking right at Rey, “Then maybe we could arrange for different accommodations?”

Rey turns her head away, refusing to look at them. _Azmo and Dono_ , she notes to herself. _Their names_.

“That’s what I thought,” Azmo says before he pulls out a remote from his robes. The same remote that Soldar had when he shocked her. Fear passes over Rey’s eyes and they take notice, laughing at her. “Ahh...Don’t like this one do you?” Azmo rattles the device in his hands, his fingers getting closer to the buttons before he presses them.

Rey’s body convulses in the electric shock from the collar as it strikes her again. When it stops, she can only make out the cold floor against her face and the sound of their laughter through their vocoder’s.

Dono kneels down, her hands pulling on Rey’s hair so she can see her face, “Ahh look at you. Such a mess. You know Azmo, I just don’t understand it,” she says.

“What’s that Don?” he asks with enthusiasm. They sounded so rehearsed. Like they were game show hosts.

“Why in the stars would Kylo give it all up for _this_ thing? The little slut isn’t even that pretty,” Dono observes, her hand gripping Rey’s chin tight enough to bruise.

Azmo hums, “Fuck if I know. He was always so confusing.”

Dono laughs, “Pathetic you mean. Maybe that’s it!” she exclaims as she turns back to Rey, fingers gripping tighter. “He saw how pathetic you were. Saw you two had that in common.” Dono rises then but punches Rey in the cheek as she stands. “Pass me the remote,” she demands of Azmo.

“No. Soldar said I could have it and you were in charge of the Burning!”

  
_The Burning? What the kriff was that supposed to be?_

“Shove off, Azmo! I wanna to shock the bitch too!”

They sound like children, arguing over who got to torture her. Rey closes her eyes, mortified at what was happening but at this point not surprised. As they scream, their fingers nudge the button as it goes back and forth between them. Rey jolts in pain as they fight over it, her body going through brief spasms of energy as they argue.

 _Fucking hell, they’re morons,_ she says to herself.

 

* * *

 

Xid makes his way to the rehabilitation level. Soldar called them all down. As if he could now give them orders just because Hux spoke directly to him. What bothered Xid is that the other knights seemed to just go along with it.

They all listened to Soldar in ways they had never listened to him.

He isn’t sure what had changed in the five months that they were gone, but apparently, none of them were as ready to yell at Soldar the way they yelled at him when he tried to take some leadership responsibilities.

And it was strange. Xid never would have expected Soldar to be like this. The months they spent plowing into the weak minds of drunkards gave Xid the impression that Soldar was an adequate knight, but fit to be a follower. How had so little time changed so much?

He rounds the corner, to the hallway where the woman was being kept. Except Soldar is waiting for him. “Xid, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Of course,” he answers. His tone is one of false pleasantry and he knows Soldar can hear it. He was meant to.

“I understand you are upset. Things didn’t go as you planned on Lah’mu.”

“No.”

“But you are still alive. Shouldn’t that count for something?” Soldar asks. 

  
“I wouldn’t consider this living. Now I run errands while _others_ get credit for ideas that were not their own!” he spits at Soldar only the saliva is trapped behind his own mask.

“Hux expected results. _Explanations._  You were in surgery, Xid. What else was I supposed to do? You mean to tell me you would have acted any different?”

“Oh fucking spare me! You could have at least told him the idea was mine. He treats me like an invalid now. Beyond use when you’re the one without a lightsaber. Without a kriffing hand!”

  
Soldar holds up his prosthetic hand, “Perhaps that is why he favors me. I made the same sacrifice that he did,” Soldar says smartly.

Xid could explode, but knows at this point anything else he says means he’ll soon be left to clean the floors of the throne room sure enough.

But Xid believed he was a resourceful enough person. He could still prove to Hux he was a valuable knight. A worthy leader. 

He could still knock Soldar back down.

So, he stifles his rage as best he can. “What did you really wish to speak with me about, _sir_?” he throws in at the end, his tone bitter.

“I’ve got Azmo and Dono in there now. They’re doing the simple stuff. The burning, the shocks with the collar. Things that look good when recorded,” he says. At least he thinks that’s what they’re doing. They so incompetent at doing anything but Soldar imagines they at least made some progress. “I’m waiting for the ysalamir serum to wear off though. Should be clear of her in a few hours.”

Xid looks to him, wondering why that would even be considered. _Was he insane?_

Soldar can tell he’s dying to ask but is determined to stand there in his arrogance and pretend he isn’t interested. “You see, we’re beginning to start the _real_ sessions with the girl this evening. I thought, given our training together on Batuu, you would accompany me in making sure the girl’s mind has plenty of turbulence. I know your abilities are parsecs better than the others.”

Xid is surprised. He wasn’t expecting that. “Yes, I suppose I can assist with that. Although I didn’t realize we would be invading her mind. I thought this was to be more...routine.”

Soldar shrugs, “Hux would like more of a show. I think if we can open her connection to Kylo enough, he might feel the pain she’s in. The child as well.”

  
Xid wished it was not such a good plan. He doesn’t want to give Soldar any credit after what he’s done. But Xid had to admit that it was a rather interesting concept.

“I see,” Xid says.

Soldar had taken credit for one of his ideas, yes. But now, Xid thinks he will improve his original plan and resolve the case of retrieving the child on his own. If Xid can locate the child himself then Hux would have no choice but to see him for the value that he possessed. And Soldar won’t have any other plan to fall back on if Xid is the one who returns with Kylo’s bastard in his arms.

“When do we start?” 

* * *

 

The remainder of the day was as miserable as it started. After Ben had rushed out of the control center, he had ventured out into the forest. He threaded through the trees, Lorelei whimpering against him as he tucked her into his jacket.

She hadn’t really stopped crying, but he hadn't either so he just kept walking. Telling her some memories of Rey so he could cheer her up. But it wasn’t working. Nothing really helped. They were being pushed over the edge. They had no energy to fend off the all-encompassing despair that consumed them.

He could only apologize.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he says into her hair endlessly.

He was trying to relax, to help Lorelei relax. But he could only see Rey chained up in that cell. It was all he could ever really think of and it eats away at him. All day.

Finn and Rose found him after a while and brought him inside when it started to rain again. They told him Poe was gone and they could get some work done. The rest of the afternoon and some of the evening was spent researching the Ascendancy and all they could find out about it.

But no amount of work could distract him for very long. He and Lei were drained. Exhausted.

But no matter what they found out, any beginnings of a plan they made were dwarfed by what they discovered of Hux’s ship. It was massive. It had two hangars and a shit load of artillery inside. Everyone spoke so hopefully though, saying things like, “Once we figure that out, we’ll find where they’re keeping her and we’ll try to get out quick.” Plans that weren’t actually plans. Just wishful thinking it seemed.

It all sounded like they were waiting for a break that would never come. Like maybe they were just humoring him.

Those fears join the many others that erode away at Ben until everyone disperses for dinner and he realizes that although she must be hungry, Lorelei hasn’t made a sound. She just clings to him, disoriented and aching. She’s been like that all day.

He decides to take dinner to their room, letting Finn, Rose, and Maz follow. He knew they were trying to distract him. Trying to keep him busy but he could hardly hear them. Ever since Poe’s punch earlier, he’s just been keeping his connection with Lei guarded and as safe as he can make it. An attempt at sanctuary in the midst of their personal hell.

Since all the chairs were being used to hold up the blankets, everyone sat on the floor, their backs slumped against the wall.

“This shit is putrid,” Maz says as she looks to it drip off her spoon. “I should have had Emmie go out and find something better.”

“We’ve just gotten used to it by now,” Rose says to them as she and Finn eat it rather passively. Their conversation continuing once Maz has taken a few brave bites.

Ben answers when they talk to him directly, but otherwise, he’s long gone. He feeds Lorelei, giving her little spoonfuls of the dinner. He whispers to her of what a good job she’s done when she actually eats it. She doesn’t eat as much as she usually does so he offers her a bottle of milk which she accepts after some time. As she sits on his thigh, he eats what remains of the dinner, trying to ignore how his taste buds reject it.

When he’s finished he zones out completely of the conversation as he just keeps a watchful eye on Lei, speaking to her through their bond. Trying to remind her of Rey even then.

_Mommy loves to give you baths._

_Mommy loves to see you smile._

_Mommy loves to play with you and watch how fast you crawl._

_Mommy loves to make fun of me, which I love too._

_Mommy loves you._

Like a mantra, he keeps thinking of anything and everything they ever did with Lorelei and reminding her endlessly of who was coming back. A distraction for both of them, but not as effective as he’d like it to be.

He registers after a while the concerned glances his three visitors exchanged but Ben ignored it. He didn’t have the energy to do anything else.

Finn tries to engage him again, to bring him back to where they are. “Ben, can we show Maz those sketches you showed us last night?” Finn asks.

Ben looks to him, full attention now, eyes a bit scandalized. _Did he mean...?_

Finn notices his slight embarrassment and realizes he should have been more cautious with his phrasing. “You know, the one with _Lorelei’s_ baby sketches.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s uh...on the table.”

Rose gets up to find it and opens it for Maz’s eyes to see. Maz gushes over all the time she had missed in the months she could not visit them. “Ben, you’re a natural. You have such a good hand for these things.”

Ben shuffles forward a bit so he can look at the pages with them. They placed it on the edge of the mattress and he sets Lorelei down so she can crawl if she wants. But she remains where he places her, seemingly looking at the book with them.

She was always so observant.

They are all cautious not to touch the pages too much, worried they might smear the images Ben meticulously left there. But Ben finds when he runs his fingers past the pages how he picks up traces of Rey, where she had touched it too.

He doesn’t think the three visitors notice but Lorelei does. She coos a little, feeling what her father feels.

They land to a page where he’s drawn several Rey’s, all cuddling with a sleeping Lorelei and Finn, Rose, and Maz all gush. Amazed at how beautifully Ben captured their quiet moments. “Lei my dear, your mommy is so beautiful,” Maz tells the baby.

“Mama,” the child repeats.

Finn and Rose gasp as Maz covers her mouth. Ben thinks his heart had stopped.

 _No, not yet_ , is the first thing that comes to mind. But then she says it again.

“Mama, ma ma ma,” she babbles off as she does with his name sometimes. But it pierces his chest in all the ways that make him want to cry again.

No one knows what to say. What _should_ be a happy moment feels horribly devastating. Everything becomes very still. The tension felt by the three visitors as they nervously eye Ben, worried what he must be feeling just then.

He sighs, his voice cracking as he speaks, “Rey was supposed to be here for that.” Ben ducks inside the blankets so he's closer to the baby, now on his side next to where she sits.

  
“She’ll hear it when she returns,” Maz immediately assures him. She only means to try to help him but Maz knows that isn’t what upsets him. It was important to him that Rey heard it when Lorelei said it the first time.

Ben can only nod, trying to convince himself that was true. But the tears begin to fall again anyway.

Lorelei turns to look at her father, her little hands reaching for him, “Dada,” she says now. He kisses the palms that reach for his face as tears run into his beard.

“You know, when I found the blank book on those dusty shelves, I didn’t even think of it as a sketchbook. But Rey mentioned something about wanting to remember little moments. I knew we couldn’t use cameras so I thought I would try sketching again, even if I hadn’t done it in a while,” he tells them. His gaze is fixed on the face of Rey he had drawn in the book, anchoring himself to her albeit in the form of a drawing.

“She would look at everything I drew as if it was the most magical thing. Like I had given her something so priceless. Part of the reason I loved drawing was just so I could show Rey, to show her how we could preserve something in our own way. She loved it. She loved all of them so much, even when I knew I messed it up,” he sniffles.

“Mama,” Lei chirps again, this time sounding a little upset. He wonders if the verge of her tears were caused by the oncoming wave of his own. He doesn’t ever remember crying this much or this often in such a short amount of time. These past several days that might as well be years. The great extension time seemed to possess in Rey’s absence.

“But drawing doesn’t preserve everything. Not even words or cameras can capture some things that you just have to see for yourself. Moments you have to hear for yourself. And no matter how accurately I try to describe it or try to draw Lei as she is now, Rey will have always been deprived of this actual moment...and it’s all my fault.”

“No, Ben. None of this is your fault,” Finn says immediately.

“It is. And I don’t want to argue why. I know all of you will insist it isn’t. But to me, Rey being taken will always be my fault. I left them that morning, alone. She had to go out there and face them, alone.”

“Ben-” Maz starts but Ben keeps going. He needs to get this out.

“I was too busy daydreaming of all the things I thought we could have so easily but now I’m worried we’ll never have the chance to do,” he cries, thinking of how he bundled flowers together and planned their wedding on his walk over to the cave. “If I hadn’t, then I could have been there. We could have taken them on together, defeated them. And then we could have escaped together. But I was too far out, and I keep thinking if I had just gone out in the rain the night before then none of this would have happened.

“Now I’m scared she’ll be taken from us. Like _really taken_ ,” he’s too afraid to say the other word, “and those ten minutes that I spent running for my life, will forever define whether or not Rey will ever hear Lorelei speak her name.”

Maz understands his fear, though she thinks he’s being much too hard on himself. But she can see he’s not about to consider anything she will try to offer him. So, instead, she just places a hand on his shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Ben.”

Ben knows they mean well, but suddenly he’s so tired of hearing those words. He knows they don’t know what else to say, but as he crumbles right now, he doesn’t want them to say anything at all. In contrast of last night when he didn’t want Lei and him to be alone, now silence is all he craves.

He sniffles and tugs Lorelei into him, unable to meet Maz’s eyes, “You know, I think we’re just gonna lie down. It’s been a long day.”

Maz resigns away from him, knowing this is him pushing her away. And she shouldn’t let him do it. He shouldn’t have to feel like that, but she doesn’t know what else to do. “Of course. You should rest,” Maz agrees and Finn and Rose nod.

“Goodnight, Ben. Again, anything you need, let us know,” Finn says but Ben only nods as he turns on his side and pulls the blanket over him and the baby. Rose pulls him along and they leave the father and daughter to hopefully find sleep.

Outside, after the door closes, Rose looks to Finn and Maz, her eyes glassy. “That was so sad.” Lorelei had said Rey’s name, but it seemed to make Ben break even more. She isn’t sure how much more this man could take.

“I’ve never seen him like this. And I wouldn’t expect him to be any other way, but kriff if it doesn’t kill me too,” Maz tells them as they walk away.

Back inside, Ben is on his side, running his hands past Lorelei’s hair, her cheeks, her back.

He speaks to her now, wishing she could understand the words.

“All your mother and I want for you–all we really need–is for you to be safe. That’s all that really matters to us. And I know mommy would tell me that now. She would tell me to run far away and get you safe because that’s what I would tell her if I was in her place.”

  
“Mama,” Lei coos quietly.

“Yes...mama,” Ben melts a little. It sounds so beautiful from her and he kisses her cheek.

“She would tell me to find a new home, and raise you, and draw as many pictures of you as a could and love you enough for both of us. That’s what I would have wanted her to do. Only I can’t stay away. I need her. Maybe I could keep up a balance with just us, the dark in me and the light in you, and it would be sensible to do that. But I can’t leave her there. She never had a mommy or a daddy that kept her safe. She had to keep herself safe, her whole life. And although it’s made her the strongest person I’ve ever known, it’s brought her so much pain. All that waiting…” he whispers.

He can hear the thunder start again outside and the rain pours down. If he closes his eyes it almost sounds like the rain he would fall asleep to on Lah’mu. Like he could pretend they were home.

“She shouldn’t have to wait anymore. That’s why I need to get her back. I need to get her back because she’s strong and amazing and everything I know you can become, and if I don’t, then…” his deepest fears ooze out of him now, to the daughter he wants so badly to protect from everything he felt growing up, “...I wouldn’t know how to help you. And I’d feel so guilty. Every time I look at you, I see Rey. And I can't stand to think of you growing up without her, knowing it was all my fault that you don’t remember her.”

He realizes just then that Lorelei breathes steadily against his collar and she’s fallen asleep. As much as Ben would like to join her, to sleep and be prepared for the hardships of tomorrow, he knows rest won’t find him so easily.

Instead, he finishes his thoughts. “So, I’ll get her back. I can’t even imagine what a life would be like without her, because if this is what it's like..." he trails off from, not liking where that thought was going. Focusing again, still speaking only to himself he sighs, "I _need_ to get her back. She's _everything_...and we love her. We love her so much,” His tears land on the pillow, trying to hold back the sobs he feels so Lorelei could finally sleep. She deserves to get some real sleep.

 

Only she won’t sleep for long...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why have I made myself write this story? It's too much for my emotions...
> 
> This felt stupid but I think that about every chapter (probably because every chapter is a little stupid).


	32. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO YOURSELF A FAVOR And DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!  
> Hurts like a bitch and I advise those with weak heart conditions to exit the theater!!!

Azmo and Dono have been just messing with her for hours, all through the night.

Soldar was keeping an eye on her vital levels from the small control room. Primarily looking at how the ysalamir serum was clear of her system.

 _Finally,_ he thinks. Azmo and Dono were hardly what he would consider productive. It seemed their idea of torture for the girl was just arguing with each other of who got to do what. It seemed like a rather effective method of annoyance though as Soldar could see how the girl’s eyes rolled on occasion. He chuckled at the time but knew soon enough, she will be begging for the aggravation of Azmo and Dono once he and Xid introduce a new challenge for her.

Xid comes in just then, “Is it clear?” He refers to the serum.

“Yeah, just now. You ready to start?”

“Always,” Xid says immediately.

“Then let’s get going. We want this footage ready for viewing by tomorrow afternoon,” Soldar says, even if it was late enough to already be _tomorrow_.

* * *

 

The two imbeciles had moved her to the restraining chair that a droid rolled in. After they bolted it to the ground, she was shoved inside and strapped within the confines, the metal digging into her wrists the way the metal of the collar dug into her throat.

They had shocked her many times in the hours that they had been there, but for the most part, just subjecting her to their banter and she thinks by now even they must be getting tired of it.

But then the door opens again. Two new black figures stomp in. Rey sees Soldar first, but as the second one emerges, she can tell it’s the other knight. The other one from Lah’mu that she nearly sliced in half. He would be dead if Soldar hadn’t shot her.

Azmo and Dono’s antics hit a brick wall as they see the two others stride in. Soldar holds out his hand, “The remote. Give it to me,” he demands as if he was their father and was taking away their toy. Dono passes it back to him and Soldar nods his head to the door.

They take his meaning and leave, the door closing behind them, the sudden silence of the room is deafening. Rey can only hear her breathing that threatens to get unsteadier as the silence goes on, both of them just staring at her.

And then finally the silence is broken, “You recognize my associate?”

Rey doesn’t answer, but her eyes go back to the second knight. _Yes_ , she remembers him.

“My name is Xid,” he introduces himself as he lurches closer. He’s taller than Soldar but unusually skinny. Even more so than he seemed on Lah’mu. Rey supposes whatever they did to him to keep him alive meant he lost some weight. “You may have heard of me.”

“I have,” Rey rasps. She remembers Chewie speaking of him when he came to visit. Ben said that he was likely trying to assert himself as the new leader, but as she looks between Xid and Soldar, it seemed he had failed in that pursuit. Soldar, who was once the nameless knight seemed to have taken that place.

Rey tries to take heed of these observations, trying to mark them of any vulnerabilities she could. Trying to understand her tormenters.

“Well, much to your dismay we aren’t here to duel again,” Xid says. “And although I’m sure Azmo and Dono gave you the impression we were all foolish, Soldar and I are here to help you understand what it really means when you disrespect the First Order.”

“When I _disrespect_ the First Order?” Rey scoffs.

Xid lurches closer, “Yes. Or rather, when you disrespect the entire galaxy by breeding with the most loathsome man it has to offer. Whatever creature you two have managed to create together will not be able to hide forever. We will find it!”

  
Rey’s jaw stiffens. “You won’t touch her,” she seethes out.

Suddenly Soldar steps forward, chuckling. “That remains to be seen. And I’d bet that you would give anything to feel your child again...wouldn’t you?” Rey doesn’t answer. Her throat seizes as she thinks of Lorelei’s weight in her arms. What she wouldn’t give to hold her again. To at least say goodbye.

“Well, such a friendly individual such as myself, I’d like to help you with your little problem. I know how quiet your mind has been as of late, especially after you and Kylo must have really built something there. Must have been really special,” Soldar mocks.

“That’s one word for it,” Xid laughs. Rey shivers. He sounds like a snake, even through his vocoder.

“But we’re hoping that with a little noise, you just might feel a glimpse of them. And they can feel for themselves what a lovely time you're having.” Rey’s heart falls to her stomach as she takes his meaning.

They were going to try to make her open her connection with Ben and Lei. So they could feel this torture too.

_No. Anything else._

“And I get the feeling once Kylo feels what he’s missing out on, he’ll come breaking down the door, eager to join the party. Don’t you think?”

Rey gulps. She knows he’s right. She knows Ben would come. Which is why, no matter how much it hurts, even if it kills her, she cannot let them feel what she feels. She must protect them from this.

“So let’s get started then.” Soldar presses a different button on the remote and the collar around her neck releases, clattering to the ground. Rey gasps as she can take a proper lung full of air for the first time in what must be days. And as her throat is now able to expand and be free of that metal grip, she finds that her mind is under much less pressure as well.

It is the force within her. It stirs and she tries to shut it down, to keep it locked away.

And then there’s a sharp pain in her arm and she looks to see Soldar has injected something new in her vein, “This should make our job a little easier. We call this _Titroxinate_. Whereas most serums used in rehabilitation are meant to make our prisoner talk, Titroxinate is used for the strict purpose of just making you quite uncomfortable. You’ll experience the overwhelming sensation that your flesh is being burned off. But don’t worry, it will still be there when we’re done.”

Her head flies back to slam against the restraints. Now Soldar and Xid have their palms outstretched as they begin to prod and twist her mind. She feels how they are invading her memories, only to offer more suffering along with this hell they have injected into her veins.

Rey feels like she’s on fire and the fringes of her mind expand, trying to seek purchase against anything that will offer relief. She tries to hold them back, knowing how she instinctively searches for Ben.

She cries out as she feels her defenses slipping. “NO! Please!” She begs not for her own pain to cease but to keep her family from this torture. She would endure this, all of this, if it meant they didn’t have to.

But they do, she knows. She knows they can feel it and she screams louder, trying to hold it back.

Ben’s energy is frantic though and she can feel how even now, in this absolute agony he reaches for her. He’s trying to get a hold of her. Sobbing, she pushes him away.

She shuts them out with with a scream that seems to tear her throat out and pushes them away as far as she can.

_I’m sorry!_

She isn’t sure if it was enough.

 

* * *

 

Ben had laid there for hours, just watching Lorelei sleep, hypnotized by how from various angles she looked more and more like Rey. His tears had dried for now but he doubts they’ll be that way for long.

In the middle of the night, when the storm outside was at it’s worst, Ben begins to feel a strange new twinge take root in his mind. It makes him dizzy at first, disoriented. He sits up, his head brushing the blankets above. He swats away at them until the whole fort crumbles down as he tries to get more air. But the ache gets worse. It evolves from a sting...to a burn.

He peels his tunic from his body, expecting to see something attacking him but there’s nothing there. “Wha-” he whispers to himself but then he hears tiny whimpers from the jumble of blankets beside him.

Lorelei wakes up, crying. Panic strikes Ben as he realizes she can feel this too.

He expels the blankets away from them taking her into his arms. His hand moves to feel Lei’s cheeks to find them hot. She's burning too.

He tries to shut it down, to stop whatever this was, whoever was doing this to them. But as he digs into his own mind and locates the pain, a sharp gasp leaves him.

 _It was Rey._ He knows because this ache exists in their minds where Rey had been taken from them. The place that had been so torturously quiet is now flooding with agony.

This was her pain.

She was trying to keep it closed, but it was becoming too much. _Spreading. Growing._

Ben sobs out, keeping Lorelei tight against his chest and trying to surround her in his own defenses, trying to take all of the pain from her and conduct it to himself. To relieve her of this. He thinks if he can first disconnect it from Lei, then maybe he could use this connection to reach out to Rey.

Except it isn’t working.

Lei’s little face turns red as she struggles to get air. She’s crying too hard and can’t breathe. Ben doesn't know how to help her. He rocks her in his arms, sweat dripping from his brow, feeling like he was in flames.

He unbuttons her onesie and pulls it back until she’s only in her diaper. Her skin is hotter than it had been that day she had the fever a few months ago. It leaves her usually soft pale skin blotchy and red.

And she’s screaming. She’s hurting...everywhere.

Ben’s chest is seizing in distress now as much as his mind. He can't help but bring a hand above his heart, clawing at his skin, trying to relieve any of the tension. He knows it won't do anything.

And no matter how hard he tries, he can't relieve Lorelei of this pain either. The strain alone of feeling it consume him nearly makes him pass out it was so much. And if it was too much for him, then for Lorelei…

 _It could kill her_ , he realizes.

“NO!” he bellows out, holding her closer. He needs to stop it. Thinking quickly, he grabs a blanket from the top of the fort and runs out the door but he nearly crashes into who’s waiting on the other side. Finn and Rose are standing there soaking wet and he realizes they’ve been pounding on the door and he didn’t hear it.

“Ben! Everyone heard her crying. What’s going on?” Finn asks loudly, trying to be heard over the baby’s sobs and the pouring rain.

Ben’s tears are lost in the rainfall as he asks them frantically, “Where’s the medbay?” His voice is strained as he tries to speak through the torment of their minds.

Their eyes blow wide, “The room on the left past the mess hall. Why do you-”

Ben doesn’t respond or even hear the rest of the question. Instead, he breaks into a sprint, trying to cover Lorelei with the blanket as best he can, to keep her from getting wet in the rain. He needs to get her to the medbay. If he can’t give Lorelei relief in the force, he needs to find a new way.

Finn and Rose chase after him, unsettled from what Ben would possibly need the med bay for. Frightened eyes of other members see a shirtless and barefooted Ben Solo sprint past them at an inhuman speed with a sobbing baby tight against his chest. Temmin and Karé are among the many concerned faces and they scream their confusion to the two that trail after him, “Finn, Rose! What the hell?”

“Stay inside!” they tell everyone. They are unsure of what was happening, but they already knew a crowd wasn’t going to help anything.

Up ahead, Ben can hardly even see straight. He feels like he’s on fire. The frigid rain that falls upon him offering no relief to the scalding sensation he knows doesn’t even belong to him. It belongs to Rey and he fears the worst.

They were killing Rey and now they might kill Lei in the process.

“Hold on!” he tries to tell them. To both Rey and Lorelei though neither can hear him.

He flies into the base, his wet and muddy feet slip in the hallways as he rounds the corners, past the mess hall and turning until he finds the doors to the med bay.

As he strides in, Ben sees the medical droids deactivated against the wall. Quickly, he brings one online and as soon as the ocular sensors light up he grabs it. Directing them to look at him. “What sedatives do you have for a baby? Human. Female. Eight months old.”

The droid stutters for a moment, “S-Sir, she is not a registered patient. I will have to first-”

Lei screams louder as the pain gets worse and Ben is so close to detonating.

He doesn’t have time for this. “NO! NOW! Human, eight months old, fifteen pounds and in immense fucking agony! That’s all you need to know! What sedatives are safe?” he screams and the droid immediately turns and begins looking through a drawer.

“Sedative aech-four-bee. In small doses, it should result in a calm and restful state to the child.”

“Do it,” he says. Lorelei screams so loud but the droid must hear him. Ben holds up the baby as she fidgets and squirms away from the droid, confused. Ben whispers in her ear as he holds her tight, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’s almost over.”

The droid injects the dose into her leg and her screaming trails off into whines. Her little moans returning before her eyes flutter closed and she slumps back against Ben. He settles her on the exam table, not trusting his arms to hold her when his whole body burns and shakes violently.

It’s then that Ben starts to really break down. His own mind still under the torment of what he can feel from Rey.

_Rey? Can you hear me?_

“Sir, my scanners indicate you are in great distress. I must administer a sedative to you as well,” the droid prepares another needle aimed for Ben’s arm but he shoves it away.

“No! Don’t touch me! I need to find her,” he snaps at the droid. This is the first time he’s felt Rey in days. He can’t shut it off now, he needs to get as close as he can. He needs to get to her and tell her he’s coming. He needs to tell her to hold on.

But it hurts so much. It hurts, and he knows she’s trying to get away from him. She’s trying to force him out, to keep them from this.

_No, Rey!_

He’s worried she’ll kill herself just trying to push him away and she doesn’t even know he’s coming for her. She can’t die, he refuses to let that happen. He screams out in agony from where he’s slumped on the floor of the medbay.

“Sir, my sensors-” the droid tries to say.

“Shut up!” Ben snaps. He’s on his knees, begging for some relief, hoping more than anything he can hear her voice. “Rey!” he screams out loud this time. She’s fading from him. Only the lingering sensation of her agony touches his mind.

_No, no, no. I need you. Please, don’t let go!_

_I'm sorry,_ he hears. It's her voice, but she sounds more broken and defeated than he's ever heard from her before. 

The pain in his mind recedes, at least in the places where the connection was bridged. Ben thinks he can hear her release a scream he could swear he's heard before. He knows he has because he could never forget a sound like that.

Ben realizes he heard it all those months ago when he had the dream. The vision. He heard it first then as it tried to warn him of what was coming but he didn't listen.

And now Rey is gone and he isn’t sure what it means. He isn’t sure if that means she’s dead.

Ben sobs again. His hands curl into fists as he rises back to his feet. He can feel his nails dig into his palms and he’s forgotten how he used to use physical pain to drain out everything else.

How the dark side used pain as a tool. An advantage.

It is a new war that battles within him as he looks to his daughter sleeping on the table. His daughter that could have died because of the creatures that had ripped their family apart.

His breathing becomes ragged. He’s fuming, trying not to fall. Trying to stay in the balance. Trying to anchor himself to the light that is Lorelei.

 _Typical. Use her. Use Rey. Drag everyone down with you because you’re too weak not to drown on your own!_ His dark thoughts taunt him.

But they’re right.

Ben steps away from the table, worried he might contaminate Lei. He might hurt her further. And he can’t help but think of all the times he had lashed out, destroying something to help distract from the destruction of himself. To use pain.

_Don’t. Balance. Stay in the balance. The…_

He can’t. Suddenly the urge to break something is all he can think about and he gets as far away from his daughter as he can. He will not break her in the midst of this weakness.

“Fuck!” he growls. Ben runs for the door just as Finn and Rose rush in, still soaking from the rain much like himself.

“Ben! What the hell is happening? Are you both okay?” Rose asks him, but he just turns away from them.

“Watch her!” his voice is foreign to them, deep with ferocity and yet somehow shakey with fear. The snarling growl of a frightened predator. It gives Rose chills as they watch him run back down the hall.

“What does he...What’s...What?” Finn tries to ask the right question but comes up short. Rose, taking the meaning of Ben’s words, turns to the room in search of the baby. They would take care of Lorelei. But as she turns to see 2-1B standing over a bundle of blankets on the exam table, she pulls Finn along.

“One Bee, what’s happened to her?” she asks the droid frantically. They come to the edge of the bed and see the little girl. She had been screaming only a few minutes ago but was now in a deep sleep it seemed.

“When I was activated, the father was demanding I give her a sedative. I thought that was strange because there are many other ways to make a baby stop crying. But as soon as I scanned her, she appeared to be in severe agony. I believed she and her father were having the bodily reaction to the Titroxinate serum.”

“The what?” Rose asks.

“The Titroxinate serum. It attacks the nervous system and subjects usually experience symptoms similar to those of flesh-eating disorders. The skin obviously remains present though. However, my sensors could not pick up any traces of it in either of their systems.”

“Shit,” Finn rasps as he looks down to the baby who is only wearing a diaper but is cushioned from the table by the gray blanket beneath her. He brings a hand to her cheeks and feels for himself how warm she is. “Is she going to be okay?” Finn thinks he could cry if he isn’t already. He isn’t sure from all the rain.

The droid takes way too long to respond but eventually answers. “The sedative was given in time. When she wakes, she will feel sore and aching from the experience. With proper exercises for a child of this size, it will not disrupt her growth or brain activity. She will be alright.”

Rose releases the breath she had been holding, “Thank kriff.”

“May I ask, for the sake of the patient databases and perhaps my curiosity, is this the child you suspected Madam Rey might have had?”

Finn nods, “Yes. Lorelei.”

The droid’s lights whir, “I did not realize Master Ben Solo was the father. I expected Kylo Ren, but I see now that Master Solo must have-”

Finn and Rose both look to him curiously, but they keep their arms close to the child. Finn interrupts the droid's musings, “You know Ben?” 

“Yes. He is already a patient in my medical databases. It was only when I briefly scanned him just now that I found an existing match.” The droid shows them a holo of Ben saved on the files, except he’s a little boy. “The last ailment I treated him for was a scrape on his knee when he was seven years old.”

Any other time, Finn and Rose might have smiled at his picture. They might have realized how his ears were so big and why he now kept them hidden beneath his hair. But they can only think of where he might have gone.

“Did you give him a sedative too?” Rose asks.

“No. He refused it. He mentioned he needed to find someone. In fact, I believe he said Madam Rey’s name, though he was a little hard to understand. Master Solo was in severe distress moments before you arrived, at which point he was fleeing.”

“Where did he-” Rose starts to ask but they hear the door open again. They turn around, hoping to see Ben coming back in but it’s Maz and the three wookiees.

“What in the kriff is going on?” Maz shouts. She runs over, climbing to get a look at the little girl she knew was on the table. She presses a hand to her red cheeks, wincing as she feels the burn. Maz spins her head around, ignoring the many frantic moans of the wookiees as they reach for the child as well. Instead, she looks for Ben, but the father was nowhere in sight.

That meant something was very wrong. Ben wouldn’t leave her unless...

“Where did he go?”

Finn and Rose just shake their heads, eyes glassy and a little lost. They don’t know.

But then they all hear the faint crash of something from the hallway, accompanied by a muffled scream. Maz wonders if everyone can feel how the room literally vibrates in his rage, but perhaps it was just her connection to the force that made it obvious.

It was Ben.

And given the unstable, furious, and dark energy Maz could feel radiating through the walls, she knew how broken Ben Solo really felt. Tears fog up her goggles and she wishes they could all wake up from this nightmare.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why the fuck did you read it! I told you specifically not to!
> 
> I'm sorry, babes. Love you
> 
> In other news, I have very little knowledge of Titroxinate as does Wookieepedia so I had to get a little creative with what kind of pain it inflicts. I know you couldn't care less about that right now though because you're too busy cursing me...and I don't blame you.
> 
> I wanted to get this up the other day but my birthday happened...AGAIN. So, it was a matter of inconvenience, lol.
> 
> For the rest of my life, I will no longer be celebrating my birthday on the 15th of December, but rather the anniversary of our beloved Reylo work of art and praising our Lord and savior Rian Johnson(and it's his birthday today)! 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you're not all dead and I'd like to again express how in the midst of the shit storm I have created or us, we have a Happy Ending™ to look forward to.


	33. Uncle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle...who d'ya think it could be? 
> 
> But also uncle as a cry for mercy from an author's perspective, lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are a year away from Episode IX now and holy fuck how am I gonna make it? 
> 
> In other news, the Reylos now own waffles and I couldn't be more proud...

When Rey’s eyes flutter back open, Xid and Soldar are still there. She honestly thought she may have died but she keeps waking up, progressively worse each time.

Xid and Soldar are having a conversation of their own. Maybe thinking she was still out. She can hear Soldar’s voice.

“Did you see the child?” he asked Xid.

Xid hesitates for only a moment, thinking of how he should respond. “No,” he lies.

“Neither did I,” Soldar admits.

Xid smirks beneath his mask. He knew his abilities were superior to Soldar’s and now he has a major advantage. He knows what the signature of the child feels like. He felt it in time before she suddenly went quiet. He had wished to get more of a glimpse as to where she was, where Kylo was hiding. He could track them down and drag them back himself, but it was closed off before he saw anything of real value. The girl had closed it off even through her distress.

Still, he has a recognizable signature that he can reach for. He can search for it on his own and track it down.

“Kylo felt it though. I’m sure of that,” Soldar says.

Xid chuckles, “Then he won’t be able to hold off much longer. He’ll be here soon.” _Regardless if it is on his own accord or if I drag him back,_ he says to himself.

Soldar senses that the woman is awake again and he turns to her, knowing that regardless if she heard them or not it didn’t really matter. “Yes, I agree. I think that oaf will soon be stopping by, hoping to spring out his whore,” he steps right before Rey.

Rey knows he’s right. Despite how she tried to keep Ben away, to push him out of this and try to spare him from it, she knows he felt it. “If that ‘oaf’ comes for his ‘whore’, he will kill you. You know that.”

Soldar tenses, she wasn’t crying. She wasn’t begging. She was trying to ridicule him and he represses the shudder that runs through him, not wanting to appear affected. “He won’t kill me. He won’t have the chance,” Soldar insists.

Rey gives a weak chuckle, her eyes barely able to open. “He will. And if he doesn’t kill you, _both of you_ , it will only be because I would have killed you first.”

Soldar actually laughs and Xid joins in as well. This is the only thing they have agreed on in days. The girl is as stupid as she is pathetic.

“Is that right? You think because he’s coming for you, that gives you strength. You think that changes anything just because you think he’s worth something?”

Rey gives a crooked smile. “That man is worth more than anyone I have ever met. He has loved more deeply than tyrants like you could ever comprehend," Rey says. She finds that her voice doesn't waver, though her throat is coarse and rough. "And when you see him next, as we both know you will, you will see in his eyes just how far he is willing to go to protect what he loves.”

Soldar scoffs, “You think he’s capable of that? That he’s worthy of love? You think just because he’s a father that changes anything?”

“Becoming a father changes everything, regardless of who you are. But Ben was always worthy of love.”

They both groan. “Shut up, scavenger,” Soldar warns her.

“People get lost and scared, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t strong enough to resist the horrors of their life. To grow beyond their pasts and make something new. To live. It takes strength neither of you could ever possess...”

Soldar groans, “Oh, spare me.”

Rey ignores him and carries on. “...Because this empire you’ve built for yourself, the galaxy you have tried to claim...it possesses more of that strength than you gave it credit for.”

Soldar strikes her across the face, tired of her voice. Only she doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t cry. She doesn’t beg for it to stop. He punches her again only to get the same result. Silence.

“What? Not engaging enough for you? Would you like to be shocked again?” Soldar bends over, reaching for the fallen collar. Intending to clamp it back around her throat as tight as it would go. But as he reaches for it, suddenly it flings across the room and shatters into two pieces against the wall.

He sits up to look the girl in the eye.

She did that with whatever remaining strength she could spare. She must have had a death wish.

“You got some twisted sense of humor,” Soldar says, prepared to hit her again.

“I’m not laughing,” Rey answers, her voice clear and collected.

Xid steps beside Soldar, all but pushing him aside and firing one of the ysalamiri capsules into her arm. She groans through her teeth at the impact of being shot from such close range.

“Hurts doesn’t it?” Xid lurches forward, his masked face about a foot from hers.

Rey battles against the black beginning to swarm her vision. It was a familiar sensation now and she could have growled at Xid’s miserable face too close to her own. Instead, it gives her an idea and she spits at him. Her blood splattering across his helmet. “Fuck,” he mutters.

“Probably doesn't hurt as much as losing a hand or nearly getting sliced in half,” Rey mumbles.

This time, Xid punches her across the face and she goes limp in the restraints, unconscious. He sighs, finding he is relieved she’s finally out. Xid tries to wipe away the blood but it smears across his mask and he can’t see. Soldar chuckles from the side, “Charming, isn’t she?”

He turns, about to storm out of the cell, inclined to ignore Soldar and stomp back to his quarters. Instead, he answers back. He figures he should at least pretend a little, “She and Kylo deserve each other. She’s sentimental, fucking loathsome, and just as insufferable as he is, if not worse.”

Soldar looks to his prosthetic hand, “Tell me about it.”

* * *

 

Ben was in the mess hall. He throws the tables against the wall, watching them splinter into little pieces.

_Not enough. Too much._

He punches any glass he can find, his knuckles now bloody.

_Not enough. Too much._

Nothing was enough. Everything was too much. _How is that even possible?_ It offers no relief. Not like it used to. Pain is no longer an ally in the dark parts of his mind. He isn’t that monster that could use pain as fuel.

He isn’t Kylo Ren.

Ben crumbles to the floor, sobbing. He cries for all the pain Rey and Lorelei never should have felt.

_Was Rey gone? Was Rey dead?_

He doesn’t know, he can’t feel her, but perhaps she just pushed him away and closed herself off to protect him. Always to protect him.

Ben wonders if Kylo Ren would have been strong enough for this. Would the monster that killed so many be able to keep what he loves from such pain? Would Kylo Ren know what to do? Is that what he must do?

It couldn’t be. How could becoming that monster that love defeated be the only way to save it?

 _They bring you love and happiness you don’t deserve. You bring them nothing but pain,_ the dark whispers.

_I know…_

_You don’t deserve them. Become who you once were. Kylo Ren is strong enough. Stronger than you. Stronger than those incompetent fools you once called your knights. He could win. He would be enough…_

“No, Ben.”

Ben gasps as he hears a voice behind him. His eyes shoot open. He knows that voice. He’s tried to forget it.

Ben tenses up, refusing to turn. He's still trembling from the episode but he realizes just how violently he's shaking now. He knows how broken he looks and he hates it. “What could _you_ possibly want right now?” Ben seethes. “I have nothing left to say to you.”

“I know you don’t. But your mother wanted me to try and-”

“Oh, she made you come to check on me? If you don’t want to be here anyway then get the fuck out,” Ben snaps. He still doesn't look. He can’t.

“Ben, _I want_ to be here. I just know that I’m the last person you want to see and I don’t want to upset you further.”

Ben sighs. He wishes he had the energy to argue with that. But he doesn’t. Instead, he slumps to the floor, noticing just then how filthy he got from his run into the base. His bare feet and the ends of his father’s pants coated in mud.

And slowly, he looks up until his eyes settle on the ghost of his uncle, “Then say what you came to say and leave.”

Luke gives a small sigh as he comes a little closer. As close as he thinks Ben will allow. “I know I always show up at the worst times and I say everything you don’t want to hear and it makes me look like the asshole...because I usually _am_ the asshole.” Ben looks to him with a confused expression. “But those thoughts, the thoughts that Kylo Ren could protect your family better than you..."

"What are you doing in my head?" Ben snaps, not liking that Luke could hear his thoughts.

Luke ignores him and continues on, "...Ben, you know that isn’t true. Kylo Ren can't do what Ben Solo can.”

“Well, look at what a good job ‘Ben’ has done protecting his family. Rey could very well be dead and my daughter was nearly killed!” he cries. “And when I should have stayed to be there for her I fucking ran. I ran here to break things because that’s all I know how to do!”

“No, Ben. You’re so brave. Braver than I could ever be.”

“Stop it. Don’t pretend and fucking lie to me just because you think you can help me. You can’t help me!”

  
Luke sighs, “This is your life and I’ve caused so much pain for you. I’ve only wanted to help you but I never did it right. I always fucked it up.”

Ben stills suddenly. He’s never heard Luke sound so human before.

“I am not a father, I don’t know how it feels to be in your shoes, or in this case your old man’s pants,” Luke tries to joke but it only makes the bewildered expression of his nephew deepen. “But I am an uncle. A failed one at that. And I don’t want you to make the same mistake that I made. I doubted you before and it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. If you doubt yourself now, you really will lose everything.”

Ben’s chest seizes again and he releases a sob, unable to care if Luke sees him like this. “I can’t lose her. I need her. I need them both, even if I don’t deserve them, I know I can’t live without them. If I lose Rey-”

“Ben, you will never lose Rey.” Ben looks to him now, his eyes searching his, looking for some kind of truth. He wants that to be true, but is it? “She will always be with you. Because no one is ever really gone,” Luke says.

Ben scoffs, “Don’t feed me that Jedi shit.”

Then it's Luke's turn to scoff, “It’s not ‘Jedi shit’, it’s simply just ‘force shit’. I’m just telling you what you need to know.”

Ben shakes his head, denying him. _I don't need anything from you_ , nearly leaves his lips but he holds it back. Wishing he wasn't as desperate as he is.

Luke steps closer. He wants so badly to get through to him, to help him in all the ways he never could. To try and give him something he could use. “Your grandfather, _Anakin_. You know how he fell to the dark, don’t you?”

Ben looks to Luke. Yes, he knows. He knows very well. “Because he thought his wife was dying. He thought it was the only way to save her.”

“Yes. He had visions of her dying in childbirth. He refused to let her die and in his attempts to stop it, he became the very thing he had sworn to destroy. He became a Sith Lord. His anger was the reason she was killed. Padmé died and your mother and I were scattered across the galaxy and hidden from him.”

“I know the story,” Ben reminds his uncle.

“Then you know I wouldn’t tell it to you if I didn’t think it could help you. Rey is important to you-”

Ben’s chest aches at the sound of her name. “Important” didn’t begin to cover what he feels for Rey. “She’s _everything_ ,” he says, knowing it was the opposite of what he said to her that night in the throne room. “I _love_ her.”

“I know you do. But don’t let your doubt overcome you. You can’t let the darkness consume so much of you, because the dark has high demands. Don’t let it take your family away from you in your pursuit to save them. It’s already stolen so much. Just because you’re afraid of what you’ll lose shouldn’t mean you succumb to be someone else.”

Ben ducks his head. He’s right. The dark side has been a shadow over their family for so long. It’s taken so much. Killed so much. From Ben’s hands alone, the darkness had claimed so many lives. He looks down to the state of his hands, blood smearing his knuckles.

 _This isn’t what I wanted,_ he thinks. They were the same hands that hold Lorelei. _I shouldn’t have done that_.

Luke carried on, “And I won’t pretend I know what you’re feeling. I’ve never had a someone like you have Rey. In fact, I don’t think anyone has ever had someone like you have Rey,” Luke chuckles and Ben’s heart expands at his uncle’s observation. Everyone knew how rare this was. This love he and Rey shared.

Ben thinks of how he, of all people in the galaxy, found Rey. How she chose him and loved him beyond anything he ever thought himself worthy of. How she gave him a daughter, a home, a life he wanted to live. A life he was so careless with until he met her.

“I know you feel like you’ll die without her and you worried Lorelei won’t have her mother to be there with her as she grows up.”

 _Worried? I’m fucking terrified_ , Ben’s mind shouts.

“But if the worst were to happen, I know you would find a way to breathe again. I know you would take that little girl and be the best father you could be because you already are. And Rey will never be gone. She will live on through your memories, through the force, through you...and through your daughter.”

Ben’s eyes shut tight and tears stream down into the slight beard on his face. He hates to hear the sense in his words. He hates to give him credit. But he’s right. That’s what he would have to do. If it came to that, he knows that is what Rey’s wish would be. She would want him to spend the rest of his days making sure Lorelei has a home and someone who loves her and will be there for her. The way they never had when they were children.

He will be there for Lorelei.

“But that’s only if the worst happens. I meant what I said. You’re braver than I could ever be and I know you can get her back.”

Ben looks to him, curious how certain he could really be. “My mom said she saw it. She saw that I could get her back. Have you seen that too?” Ben asks almost desperately. “Do you know they’ll be safe, for sure.”

Luke sighs. “I won’t lie. I haven’t. I haven’t seen what Leia has seen. I just believe you can do it.”

Ben nods. Luke is telling the truth, he doesn’t know for sure. But Luke also believes in him and Ben can hardly comprehend the foreign sensation.

Ben takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what to do. They’re doing all these things. Broadcasting her, torturing her, killing her. All because they think I’ll come crawling on my knees begging for her life. I’m not stupid enough to think they’ll release her if I were to do that, but at this point, I don’t know what else to do.”

Luke is quiet for a moment before he speaks. “The Jedi say in times such as these that our compassion and emotions are what makes us weak. That ‘there is no emotion, there is peace,’” Luke recites from the texts that Ben knows are hidden away underneath his sketchbook of Rey (which is much more important). He’s about to groan when Luke beats him to it.

“But that’s all banthashit. You have a beautiful family, Ben. Your compassion and love for them is not a weakness. _You_ are not a weakness. You’re strong, Ben. Just as Rey is strong...as Lorelei already is.”

Ben doesn’t mean to smile but he does, “She is. She’s so bright.” His voice trails off as he looks away to the med bay he can’t see. The med bay he left her in. He feels so ashamed. Like he’s abandoned her. He sits up, prepared to go to her but Luke speaks again.

“You’re an amazing father, Ben. I’m so glad that Lorelei has someone like you.”

Ben just shakes his head. He didn’t feel like a good father. He feels like he’s failed Lorelei. He’s let her down. She’s known pain and sadness that he swore to protect her from. “I love her, and being her father is more than I could ever deserve, but I’ve cursed her. She’s been born into this life and now...now I don’t know how to keep her safe.”

“You can never keep your children from everything. They cannot be immune to pain and sadness. That is why what you and Rey have found is so beautiful. _The balance_. With all this pain, will come light again. I know it. I _feel_ it, Ben. And I know what you three have been through is devastating and the most traumatic thing that could have happened...But everything will be fine. It will balance back out. Tell me you know that, Ben.”

The tension in Ben’s muscles that remain suddenly slump as he sighs. “I want to believe that. I do. I just don’t want Lei to feel any more pain. I know, logically, I can’t keep her from everything. But she’s just a baby. Eight months. She shouldn’t know what this is like. And the longer I sit here, the longer we’re away from Rey, I feel like more of that light in her fades. I have to keep that part of her from going out. I have to do what I can to keep her from the pain that we felt as children. Rey and I.”

Luke nods, “I understand. And I know you can do it.”

Ben shrugs. “I just need to find a way to get Rey back that doesn’t get us all killed...given she’s still alive.”

Luke scoffs again, “Ben, she’s not gone. You would know if she was. Just like you knew when your mother passed.”

Ben nods. Luke is right. He _would_ know. This uncertainty he has now is only because Rey’s presence is gone again. But she’s not really gone. “Then what do I do? How do I go up against the entire First Order to get her back?”

Luke smirks, “There’s always _my_ way.”

“Shut up,” Ben rolls his eyes. “I’m not force projecting myself anywhere.”

Luke raises his brow, “That’s not what I’m suggesting.”

“Then what?” Ben’s inner petulant nephew starts to break through again.

“They have no idea you’re with the Resistance, right?"

Ben just shrugs. He isn't sure what they know. If they knew they were on Lah'mu, he can't be sure of anything.

Luke continues anyway. "Since they expect you to come, they probably think you’ll be coming alone. And while you serve up a proper distraction to capture the attention of everyone, some of the Resistance can sneak in under the radar.”

Ben shakes his head. “But then how the fuck do we get out?” 

Luke’s face scrunches “I can’t think of everything, I just got here! I’m just trying to help any way I can.”

Ben chews his lip for a second. He is inclined to find all the faults in it, but it’s a better plan than anything he’s thought up so far, which was admittedly a little sad. He and the Resistance, at least those helping him, hadn’t gotten anywhere really when it came to “the plan”. If this was really the best they could do then Ben already begins to think of all the ways it can go wrong.

But perhaps this was their best bet. This needed to be over soon.

“What about Lorelei?” Ben asks Luke, hoping he’ll have an answer for him.

“She’s getting her mother back. She’ll be thrilled,” Luke states the obvious.

“No. While I’m gone. If I’m not here, how do I know she’ll be okay?”

Luke sighs. He always has to be the one to say what no one wants to hear. “I guess you don’t know for sure. But I know you won’t do anything until you’re sure she’s in good hands. It won’t be for long. And part of that fear is just being a good father. If you weren’t scared that’s when I’d be worried.”

Ben’s arms feel so empty. He’s so used to having Lorelei within them. “I need to go back to her. I shouldn’t have left her,” Ben scolds himself. He looks at his uncle, confused slightly. What was he supposed to say now? 

“Do you...Do you stay or do you-” Ben makes a wavy gesture with his hand, meant to ask if he was going to vanish as his mother did.

Luke huffs a small laugh. “I do both, I guess. I fade but I never really leave, as I said.”

Ben frowns, “Mom said she saw parts of our life but not all of it. Do you see it too?”

“I can see certain things in your life, but I turn away from them usually. I feel like I’m invading on your privacy and I doubt you would want me around anyway.”

Ben doesn’t say anything at first. Mainly because he’s grateful that Luke is sensitive to how he feels. Despite the direction this conversation has gone, Ben is still cautious. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be entirely comfortable around him again.

But Luke already knows that.

“I did see what happened yesterday. With Poe.”

This time Ben groans. “I don’t want to talk about that.” His sudden rage, thinking that Lei felt the punch that was only meant for him makes his nails find their way to piercing his palms again.

“Well, at least let me tell you what your mother said.” Ben’s eyes look up, his eyes widen at the mention of his mom. “She said he ‘deserved a good beating’ for what he did and she would have tried to slap some sense into him herself if she wasn’t a force ghost,” Luke chuckles and Ben can’t help but smile a little. Imagining what his mom would look like slapping Dameron.

“She advises that usually, his tantrums wear down after a while and he’ll come to terms with what a ‘bantha ass’ he’s been. Her words, not mine. But we are both really amazed at the restraint you had. Again, it shows what a remarkable father you are, Always thinking of your daughter first.”

Ben nods, unsure of how to respond to that. As friendly as Luke tries to be, Ben can’t help but still think of that night he woke up to see the green glow of the lightsaber.

“Before I go, I wanted to tell you something,” he looks to Ben. “From the first moment I felt your daughter in the force I could feel how strong she was.” Ben tenses for a moment. He isn’t sure he wants a parenting lecture from Luke. Only it doesn’t go that way. “And I couldn't think of anyone more deserving of such a bright and beautiful family than you and Rey.”

“Well, thank you,” he says quietly. Ben finds he actually means his words, but they feel strange and foreign as he knows they are meant for Luke of all people.

Luke gives him a smirk, “Good luck, kid.” He fades a moment later and Ben rises to his feet. He trudges through the destruction of the tables and benches and shattered glass he inflicted on the room as he approaches the doors. He takes a deep breath before opening them, knowing no matter what awaits on the other side, Lorelei was there.

And soon enough, Rey would be there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of short and kind of stupid but I wanted to give you something after that bitch of a cliffhanger last time. 
> 
> This story is killing me and I don't know how I managed to write a novel-length Reylo baby fic these past months (and somehow pass my classes, lol) but I have to get to the end soon or my life will really be beyond my own control.


	34. Spark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long. Christmas happened, then a family vacation, then a minor existential crisis and now here we are. It took me forever to work out how I wanted this chapter to go and as usual, it's not as good as it could be. I'm sorry if this is disappointing...hopefully, I can make up for it in future chapters.
> 
> My gut is telling me not to post this because I don't like it but I think I need to just rip off the band-aid and get moving on to the next one.
> 
> Love you all! I know I made this sound horrible but it's actually supposed to be a little bit more upbeat than some of the previous ones.

 

Maz contemplates going to find Ben, but she can’t move from where she is beside Lorelei. She isn’t sure what happened to her, but she was in severe distress a few minutes ago and Maz could sense she and her father had suffered something awful.

Chewie looks like he could cry and Waroo was pacing back and forth off to the side of the table where Lorelei was resting. The table where the rest of them all hovered over, watching the steady rise and fall of her stomach, assuring them she was still breathing.

The loud noises, likely coming from the mess hall, had stopped a few minutes ago but nobody said anything. Nobody was sure what all of this meant or what Ben’s sudden departure could mean. If it was enough for him to leave Lorelei, it must have been really bad.

And then they hear the hiss of the doors sliding open again and Ben staggers in.

He’s a mess. His feet are muddy and bare. He’s without a shirt and his hair is still dripping from the rain. And his eyes are red, except for the dark bags underneath. Those were the same as before.

“Ben you look horrible,” Maz says, regretting them instantly.

He doesn’t even scoff. “I know,” he agrees.

Waroo rushes forward to meet him but everyone else is too scared to move. Too afraid to leave Lorelei from where she sleeps on the table. A sedative-induced sleep from some distress they have yet to learn.

“Are you alright?” Waroo questions instantly.

Ben doesn’t look at him, his eyes are focused on the exam table where his daughter is, his arms feeling empty without her. “I-I’m okay,” he answers. Even if “okay” is not really the word he would use, he knows Waroo is asking the question for a bare minimum answer. To make sure he could still breathe.

Ben comes before the table and Finn moves from his spot beside Lorelei so Ben can slide in. He looks down at her, a sigh escaping him in slight relief when he feels how much she’s cooled down. How her skin is not as red as it was when they arrived. He grabs her hand and holds it. His thumb brushes past her knuckles.

“Was she alright? When I left, I mean?” Ben looks to Finn and Rose but it is the droid that answers.

“She will likely feel an ache when she wakes but with proper caution she will recover. The incident should not affect her growth or disable her in any way. It is likely though her throat will be sore from her cries though so I would encourage lots of fluids, water being best.”

“Thank you,” Ben says quietly to the droid. He brushes past her head with his free hand, admiring her soft black hair beneath his fingers.

_I’m so sorry, Lei._

Ben feels Chewie’s hand land on his shoulder, “Can you please tell us, Ben?”

Chewie usually tried to give Ben space in moments like this. However, now he was too worried to prolong the silence. Chewie wanted answers. They all did.

Ben looks up to the many distraught faces, his chest aching further as he knows the information will strike them deep as well. “It was Rey.”

“What?” Nearly half of them exclaim.

“Whatever they are doing to her, they wanted us to feel it. They knew what they were doing. They were on the verge of killing Rey...and for a moment, I thought I was going to lose Lorelei too. The connection was bridged enough.”

“Oh kriff,” Finn says under his breath and Rose’s hands cover her mouth, devastated.

“That must be why my sensors scanned for traces Titroxinate in your systems. It is a common First Order serum administered in interrogat-”

“Titroxinate?” Ben looks to the droid, his eyes wide. That would explain the burning. He knew the First Order used it as a torture serum when Snoke was Supreme Leader. It was utterly painful and had killed many that had been given too high a dosage. “That serum has killed beings larger than me. If it got into Lei then…”

2-1B pikes up again, “She is fine, Master Solo. It was not found in your system. My sensors only suggested it because your reactions showed similar symptoms. If the connection is now closed then it will not hurt her any further or have any long-term effects.”

“Well thank kriff for that,” Maz breathes.

Ben shakes his head a little, “But they could do it again. I can’t risk it happening again. We need a plan. Rey doesn’t have a few more days. Something needs to be done. We need to take action.”

Everybody chimes in then, frantic with ideas and doubts. It’s overwhelming, to say the least, and although Ben has an inkling of a plan (courtesy of Luke of all people), he feels his head sway from where he stands. He stumbles for a minute but feels Chewie hands steady him on his shoulders.

“Whoa, Ben.” Chewie catches him. “You really need rest.”

“I’m fine,” Ben insists.

“Ben, if you want to get to Rey you need to be prepared. That means not just planning but also physically. You need to sleep. We can talk logistics in the morning.”

Ben looks down at his daughter sleeping on the table, brought on only by the effects of the sedative that runs through her. He does need sleep, the rational part of his minds screams. He knows if he is to be any help to anybody, he does need rest.

He sighs, “Okay. I will rest until she wakes.”

Chewie begins to moan, to argue but Malla holds up a paw, knowing that is likely the best they will get out of him, “Thank you.”

Ben slides into the table beside the baby and brings her to rest on his chest. “Ben, won’t you be comfortable back in your quarters?” Waroo asks him.

“Yes, but if anything else happens or if Lorelei is pained again, I need her here. I nearly thought I wouldn’t make it last time.”

Maz hops up to sit on another table, “Well then I’m not leaving either. I’ll rest here until morning.”

Ben nods, allowing it since he knows that it was reasonable. She hops up on another table nearby, able to fit on it entirely whereas Ben’s feet hang off the end.

Everyone else files out, knowing the rest of the base is in a confused uproar and though Ben did not know the time, it was still dark out. The morning was still a ways away.

Maz is wrapped in a thin blanket that 2-1B passed her. She’s without her goggles and wearing sleepwear that she made herself. “Ben?”

“Hmm?” he hums. His eyes are open but he doesn’t look at her, he’s watching the baby he has snuggled against his chest.

“Did you see her?”

He sighs, “No...I only heard her.”

“Do I wanna know?”

Ben’s lip quivers in the dark as he thinks of the scream he had heard from Rey. The one he knew he had heard before. “I tried so hard to reach out to her. To hear anything I could. But right before she closed herself off from me, I heard her say she’s sorry.”

“Why would she be sorry?”

Ben gives a humorless chuckle, “Because she’s Rey. Rey will try to convince me this is all her fault when I know it was mine.”

Maz groans, “You kids are always so hard on yourselves. Why would you spend so much time torturing yourself like that? Especially when it was neither of your faults.”

Ben turns over on his side, groaning as Maz tried to scold him.

“Alright, Maz,” Ben says, not having the energy to argue.

It’s quiet for another minute before she speaks again. “What happened in the mess hall?”

Ben sighs, turning onto his back again, keeping Lei in the crook of his arm. “A lot, actually.” Ben isn’t sure he wants to go into too much detail. He isn’t sure he’s ready to talk about it, but still, he gives her what he can. “I let the dark in for a moment. I tried to stop it, to keep it balanced, but it gave way and I had to get out. I didn’t want her to be affected.”

Maz hums, understanding.

“I forgot what it was like. To use pain like that.”

“So what stopped you,” she asks him.

Ben clears his throat, “Luke.”

Maz snaps up from the table, cursing herself for not bringing her goggles. “Luke?”

“Shh!” Ben snaps at her, “Don’t make a big deal of it.”

“A big–? Ben Solo, tell me what happened this instant!”

  
“We talked. He told me if I used the dark to save my family I could end up like Anakin, which admittedly makes sense.”

“It does.”

  
“And he told me he was proud of me. That I have a beautiful family and that no matter what, Rey would never really be gone.”

“That’s good Ben.”

"Yeah, I guess," he offers. The most he seemed to be capable of at that moment. This whole ordeal had been too overwhelming and Ben was ready to put it all behind them. To finally take a few steps forward.

Maz senses again his utter exhaustion and decides to let her curiosity wait for now. He needed to rest. “Goodnight, my dear.”

"Goodnight," he mumbles back. Ben stares at the ceiling for far too long before sleep finally washes over him.

* * *

 

QC watches through his work once more, glancing to Soldar’s message.

_Have edited by morning. I will expect to see it before it airs. Cut out the end!_

It was an attached to the holos of the footage meant for the galaxy to see. The footage of the woman literally being tortured to death but never dying.

He’s had to deal with some rather graphic and unsettling images throughout his time of editing such First Order content, but this had been rough. QC could hardly watch as she begged them not to hurt her, frightened her child would feel it too.

It was horrendous and he knew the galaxy needed to see it, just not how Soldar wanted them to.

Something needed to be done.

So, QC had indeed edited the footage, but instead of the end, he had cut out the entirety of the torture they had put her through. Instead, it featured only her words. Her ferocious determination in the midst of the absolute desolation she was in the middle of.

QC looks to the chrono. It was nearly seven. Soldar would want to see the finished version soon. QC suspected they wanted to unveil it later today, to try and tempt Kylo to come for her.

And then he looks to the cameras on the other side of the room. He considers for a moment what it would take to have a broadcast of his own. He knows the override codes better than anyone on the bridge, or so he thinks. He could potentially build up a firewall strong enough to deliver the message he needs. At least enough time for the galaxy to see. They couldn’t shut it down that fast.

But he knows if he were to do that, it would be the end for him. He would be killed or maybe tortured himself. Then some other stormtrooper would have to come in here in the middle of the night and edit some footage to Soldar’s liking by morning.

It was a vicious cycle he refused to be a part of any longer. Today, QC was going to be his own person. Not a soldier. Not a puppet. He was going to be whoever he really was. Whoever he might have become if he hadn't been taken as a child and forced into this madness.

And yet, QC cannot think of a better way to die. A smile ghosts his features as if he had never thought of the concept before. To die with honor in an honorless time.

 

* * *

 

Kaydel was in the control center early. When the whole base woke up to the frantic cries of the baby last night, it left most of them a little rattled. She didn’t go back to sleep so she had decided to work instead.

Her hair was in a hasty bun on top of her head instead of her usual two. She sighs as she sits in one of the chairs, wondering if Poe was going to make an appearance. After the incident with Lorelei, Poe had been so embarrassed and resorted back to his quarters for the remainder of the day.

A baby literally had to get punched in order for him to get his head out of his ass. As disturbing a concept that was, Kaydel was somewhat glad he finally seemed to realize what a complete idiot he was being. She had never seen him as embarrassed as he was when Ben walked out of here with the crying baby, knowing he was responsible for the child’s pain. He looked more regretful and unsettled than she had ever seen him and it helped remind even herself that underneath the exterior of Poe and his massive ego, there was a man riddled with problems as much as the rest of them.

To put it plainly, he was a mess and his position of General had only made that more prominent.

She rolls her eyes to herself, her thoughts keeping her company in the strange silence of the base. People were around but all too anxious to ask about what happened. Many had seen Ben sprinting to the medbay and heard the sobs of the baby. Seen the absolute terror in that man’s face as he clutched his daughter to his chest.

Something had gone very wrong and Kaydel suspects that if Lorelei could feel a punch meant for her father, she could very well feel what her mother was going through as well.

Just then, there’s a consistent beeping from the panel before her and she springs up from where she is slumped in her seat. She sees the First Order has released yet another announcement.

She hesitates before activating the screens, suspecting what they consisted of correlated to the incident last night. Nevertheless, she presses the button and the screens come to life. Rey’s face now before her.

Kaydel gasps, looking at how weathered she looks. They have her restrained and she’s got cuts and bruises littered around her face and throat. But as the blood rushing in Kaydel’s ears finally recedes, she can hear for herself what is being said.

Rey’s voice is unwavering and strong despite everything and Kaydel is so confused as to why the First Order decided to show this. Why would they show Rey as strong as they all know her to be? It seemed to go against their more predictable tactics.

Quickly, she announces to the base that a First Order broadcast is in progress. Her eyes remained trained on the footage, trying to ignore the many footsteps and questions of people running in. Kaydel watched as history was made before her and knew that no matter what state Ben and his daughter were in, they needed to see this.

She turns to Waroo who is standing nearby, watching the screens and tells him to go find Ben.

* * *

 

Ben is practically dragged to the med bay by Maz and Waroo. Waroo had rushed in rather frantically and awakened them to bring them back to the control center. Ben clutched Lorelei to his chest. She had yet to wake up and it left him all the more unsettled.

He dug his heels in every so often, unprepared to see whatever hell Rey had been subjected to. The hell they felt for themselves the night before. “I can’t see her like that. I don’t think I trust myself to not lose it if–”

“Ben, it isn’t like that. Trust me!” Waroon interrupts him, urging them along as they make their way back into the main room. Ben’s arguments go silent as he stumbles in, Maz finally releasing him. The whole room has their eyes trained on him as he slowly makes his way forward.

Rey’s face is everywhere. She’s on every screen. Ben gasps, taking in the sight of her. Eyes open, breathing. It was more than he could have hoped for. But then the screen freezes and his head snaps to the main panel, wondering why it would be stopped so suddenly.

Finn and Rose are standing beside Kaydel. It was where Poe usually stood but he is absent, Ben silently observes. They wave him over and he walks over, securing Lorelei against him.

“You need to see this from the beginning,” Kaydel says and Ben’s eyes shoot back to a screen.  

Soldar steps right before Rey, Ben’s chest tightening at the sight of him. _“I think that oaf will soon be stopping by, hoping to spring out his whore.”_

Ben seethes, the way they speak of her. To hear them call her that, _his whore_. It makes him hold even faster to the baby sleeping in his arms.

 _“If that ‘oaf’ comes for his ‘whore’, he will kill you. You know that,”_ Rey throws back at Soldar and instantly, Ben feels a powerful love wash over him. Because what she says is true. Not only is he coming for her, but he will kill the people that did this to her. If they could even be considered people.

 _“He won’t kill me. He won’t have the chance,”_ Soldar insists.

  
Rey gives a weak chuckle, her eyes barely able to open. _“He will. And if he doesn’t kill you, both of you, it will only be because I would have killed you first.”_

_“Is that right? You think because he’s coming for you, that gives you strength. You think that changes anything just because you think he’s worth something?”_

Rey gives a crooked smile. _“That man is worth more than anyone I have ever met. He has loved more deeply than tyrants like you could ever comprehend,"_ Rey says. _"And when you see him next, as we both know you will, you will see in his eyes just how far he is willing to go to protect what he loves.”_

 _“You think he’s capable of that? That he’s worthy of love? You think just because he’s a father that changes anything?”_ Soldar snaps at her. _  
_ _“Becoming a father changes everything, regardless of who you are. But Ben was always worthy of love.”_

A sob escapes Ben just then. Overwhelmed with her powerful words and his absolute love for her. Her unwavering belief in him as a man, a father.

Lorelei whimpers against him as she begins to wake. He gasps a little, pulling her closer so he can see her face. Kissing her cheeks, relieved to see she’s awake and okay.

Still, he listens to the footage, watching closely as it shows her face closer and closer. Her eyes the same eyes he’s looked into so many times. _“People get lost and scared, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t strong enough to resist the horrors of their life. To grow beyond their pasts and make something new. To live. It takes strength neither of you could ever possess...because this empire you’ve built for yourself, the galaxy you have tried to claim...it possesses more of that strength than you gave it credit for.”_

There is a sound of applause that spreads throughout the room at her words. Ben is left in confusion though as the screen changes suddenly, the mask of a stormtrooper replacing it. Confusion finally washes over him as he realizes the First Order would never have aired this. Something else was going on.

 _“Citizens of the galaxy,”_ he takes off his helmet, revealing his human face. He was just a boy. _“You’ll notice I am not Supreme Leader Hux. I am not a Knight. I am just a stormtrooper. The closest thing I have to a name QC-6532. That’s all I’ve ever been. Just a number. I was raised to believe the lies the First Order tried to instill in me and yet I cannot. I will no longer be used as the pawn I know I am meant to be. The solider of a war I want no part of. Instead, I have decided to show you what I saw. The unwavering fortitude of a woman who rationally should be without hope, and still she fights. It has inspired me to do the same.”_

There’s a loud banging that transpires off-screen, causing the man to jolt from where he is broadcasting. _“As you can tell, my interference here is not appreciated in the First Order and I doubt I will live out the hour, but I knew she needed to be heard. This needed to be seen. And I would like you all to know that we do not all answer to Hux. We do not all believe his lies and tyranny for what it is. He is a cruel man. A parasite with a title.”_

There’s another loud crash from off-screen, the man’s eyes shoot away from the recorder. He wipes his brow of sweat, knowing his time is brief. _“I believe in this galaxy she speaks of. You are all stronger than the First Order suspects you to be! Don’t just believe in Rey, but believe in yourself. You don’t have to succumb to this–”_

Suddenly there’s a loud blast and the footage goes shaky, right before there’s a bolt of plasma and QC’s words are cut short. He’s been killed. The transmission was cut off, nothing but static left behind.

“Holy shit,” Finn says from behind Ben. He hadn’t been expecting that. Another stormtrooper had defected. Something Finn never thought he would see but admittedly had hoped to witness. He knew there were more like him. “This is amazing. There could be more. There could be a Resistance existing in the First Order itself.”

Ben only nods. The voices of many chime in, all commenting on what they had just seen. He can’t even find the words. What felt like defeat a matter of hours ago, he is fueled by a new surge of hope.

Rey was alive! She was alive and she knew he would come for her. She knew how much he loved her and Ben loves her all the more. She was so strong. So loving.

_Becoming a father changes everything, regardless of who you are. But Ben was always worthy of love._

That is what she had said. Tears fall down Ben’s cheeks as he brings Lorelei before his face. She’s still only in a diaper, but he is so relieved to see her big eyes open and free of tears. Her little hands reach out, her fingers dusting past his face and he smiles at her. A genuine smile for the first time in what seems like so long.

Things were going to change.

* * *

 

On Coruscant, the screens, the holos, the sight of her was everywhere.

_Rey._

Jaxson watched over his sector. He was meant to oversee the slaves kept in the barracks of the assembly line. To keep them in line. But no one was working. They were all watching Rey. Jaxson included.

His wife Unie mentioned their son Quark was scared for Rey. That he had been confused why Hux would want to hurt Rey for being a mom. There was no easy answer to give when your child asks why evil exists in such plain sight, in such tremendous power.

Everything seemed so fucked up. Even as he looks over the riling to the hundreds of slaves beneath him. QC-6352 speaks from where he is on the Ascendancy. “ _You are all stronger than the First Order suspects you to be!”_

Looking at the wall behind him. The locks and codes that could all be undone by his own hands. All these people could be free if only he had the strength to do it. To do the right thing.

To do the right thing for these people. For the galaxy. For his family.

Decided, Jaxson rushes over to the levers on the wall and pulls. With it, the many doors concealing the slaves in the room are opened and all heads in the room turn to him in confusion. Those doors never opened and they are all baffled.

Jaxson removes his jacket, ripping away the First Order insignia and throwing it over the rails. “You’re stronger than they think you are. Prove them wrong!” He shouts as with a press of a button, the restraints on every one of them hisses in release. They all stare at him in absolute shock before they start running for the doors.

_Stronger indeed._

* * *

 

Hux fumes as he paces back and forth in his throne room. It had been maybe twenty minutes since the illegal broadcast had made its way through the entire galaxy. Just twenty minutes since that rogue stormtrooper had been prematurely shot and killed instead of the agonizingly slow and painful death that should have been bestowed upon him.

How could a member of his own army act in such a way? Of course, this had happened only once before.

FN-2187.

His identification number had been scorned and the stormtroopers were convinced to think of him as the traitorous rebel scum he was. And yet, this new idiot had deceived them. If there was one, then there could be others. Others that needed to be brought down and either be reminded of their place or killed.

Just then, the Knights enter the room. The six of them together. Hux hasn’t seen them all together in months but ignores that for now. Instead, he marches up to Soldar. “Would you like to tell me Master Soldar, how QC-6352 managed to deceive you and exploit what he has to the entire galaxy?”

Xid smirks beneath his helmet, reveling in the enjoyment of seeing Soldar being punished.

“Apologies Supreme Leader. It was foolish to leave such a sensitive task in the care of such an incompetent fool. It will not happen again.”

“I daresay you won’t. If there’s just one of these soldiers fool enough to question my authority, there could very well be others!”  
“I’m aware, sir.”

“Well, I want thorough screenings and investigations of every trooper and officer on board! I won’t have a coup conspiring against me!” Hux says, thinking of how many months he spent planning his own mutiny against Kylo.

“It will be done, sir,” Soldar assures him.

Hux huffs, walking a few paces before moving on. “I’ve decided to postpone our initial broadcast today until I have something worth saying. Until then, I would like the original footage ready and edited by someone who understands what we are working towards.”

Soldar gulps, knowing Hux won’t like what he’s about to say. “Unfortunately sir, QC-6352 deleted the remaining files. Only the footage of the girl he released was saved, the rest is gone.”

“Bollocks,” Hux mutters under his breath. “Surely there’s a backup file, or they can be retrieved from whatever computer he was working on.”

“I’m sorry, sir. The traitor must have corrupted the files or something. Anything we try to recover from the trash seems to just be a copy of his own broadcast. He knew we would go looking for it. It’s gone.”

“Soldar! How could you have been so ignorant of this? Have you no power to detect such incompetence and rebellion beneath your own nose. If the Master of my Royal Guard is oblivious to such dealing on board our very own ship, then I begin to doubt your own competence.”

“Sir, I assure you-” Soldar tries to speak but is cut off once more. Only it wasn’t by Hux.

“Supreme Leader?” Lennox strides in just then.

“What is it!” Hux snaps. “I”m busy.”

“Apologies, sir. There’s been a riot on Coruscant. Apparently, the slaves are in full revolt.”

“The tell their officers to get a hold of them. That’s what they’re supposed to do! I’m not turning around just because they don't know how to do their jobs.”

“Sir, it is some of the officers that are encouraging this behavior. Some of the officers are the ones that started this uprising. They’re trying to free them.”

“What?” Hux looks genuinely confused.

“Not all of them agreed. It seems something of a rather violent dispute is taking place,” Lennox tells him, finally getting his breathing under control.

“Do we go back?” Azmo asks.

“What about Kylo? He hasn’t shown up yet,” Nourdi mentions.

Hux holds up his hand, requesting silence. “Yes, Kylo isn’t here yet. And despite our mix up this morning, he will still come for her. Once he does we can return to Coruscant and execute them both. That way, our authority is restored as the last symbol of this hope dies. If it dies with them, this uproar will fall and any officers or stormtroopers that have made their intentions know will be executed with them for their traitorous actions. We will banish this movement from the galaxy for good.”

Hux all but drags himself back to his throne. He waits for everyone to leave again before slumping and groaning to himself. “What a fucking mess…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again that this took so long. My brain is not functioning lately and I can't tell you how many times I rewrote this. I feel like this really lacked an actual "Spark" because of how I wrote it and I'm not sure if that's a side effect of writer's block or what. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and sticking with me!!  
> <3!!


	35. Farewell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, folks. This is the beginning of the end (maybe I should say third act. That sounds less scary, lol). 
> 
> Let me just say that the comments and kudos lately have been so encouraging. Thank you to everyone reading! I don't want to sound needy, but those comments are like fuel, haha.
> 
> I’ve read over this too many times and my eyes hurt but I know there’s still some likely mistakes. I’m just gonna post it though and stop worrying.

* * *

The plan was risky, brash, and relied on a matter of luck Ben has never possessed or believed in. But there was no time to consider anything much better. Anything else would take too much longer and Ben knew it was only a matter of time before Rey was subjected to the torture again. And although she persisted, he wasn’t willing to risk the possibility of Rey or Lorelei feeling that again.

It had to be solved now and it seemed Luke’s suggestion had bloomed into possibly the worst plan Ben had ever agreed to.

He was to surrender to the First Order on the Ascendancy. He didn’t like it, but if they didn’t suspect he was working with the Resistance, it needed to remain that way for as long as possible. And once he was on board, such a commotion will be stirred, given his inevitable arrest and imprisonment that it will give Finn, Rose, and Maz the cover they need to sneak on board.

Supposedly, Finn and Rose had snuck onto the Supremacy three years ago with the help of a codebreaker. Given the way they spoke of it, he sounded like a traitor. However, they did speak of one of his methods that they observed him use which included a strange array of tools and precision to maneuver. Precision which Maz claimed she could do much better. That was why she was going with the two of them.

Once they were on the Ascendancy too, Finn and Rose would hopefully locate the growing rebellion of officers and stormtroopers. Maz would somehow make her way to wherever Rey and Ben are being kept. They are expecting it to be a series of cells similar to the ones Ben knows are common to the design of other First Order ships.

At this point, they expect to be in hyperspace, headed for Coruscant. The rest of the Resistance will already be there as well so if the riots and his scheduled execution are not tempting enough, Hux will surely depart once he learns the remainder of the Resistance is attempting to free the thousands of slaves. The slaves that were being suppressed there apparently were in the midst of a rebellion of their own.

That was another side effect of the broadcast that morning. Rey’s words had done more than just give hope to Ben, but to the rest of the galaxy as well. The holonet was blaring through the day. Rebellion on Coruscant. Apparently, a number of officers, their names still unknown had released a rather large population of slaves, resulting in full-blown riots.

Ben knew that Hux’s silence was his uncertainty. HIs uncertainty of what to do, which would explain why he has yet to make an appearance. Hux must be at a loss.

His loss was their gain. As of right now, the First Order thinks he is working alone. However, there was a problem in concern to his transportation. The only ships around here were distinctly Resistance and they all knew until they figured that out, they couldn’t go anywhere.

There was the talk of perhaps trading one for something a little more inconspicuous. But they all knew there was no time for that. Despite the news of that morning, Rey was still running out of time. They were all running out of time. This needed to be over.

But just then, Lorelei whines in his arms and he knows she’s hungry again. He tries not to groan as he realizes that the only clean remaining bottle was in their room. “I’ll be back,” he says heading for the door. “She just needs a little bit more to eat, she’s fatigued from last night.”

“Alright, we’ll keep at it,” Finn says.

Ben grabs an umbrella as he leaves, the rain seldom relenting on Arkanis.

“Dada. Ge ma dnngh mmm,” Lorelei babbles as they head outside into the fresh air.

“I know,” he answers, unsure of what she’s told him but letting her know he’s still listening.

He’s nearly at their door when he senses someone familiar behind him. He tenses, holding Lorelei closer to his chest as he turns to see Dameron, walking towards him.

Poe knows he’s been sighted, given the scowl on Ben’s face and throws up his hands. “It’s okay...I-I’m not here to hurt you, or her. I swear.”

“Then what do you want?” Ben snaps at him. Lorelei whines, sensing her father’s sudden aggravation.

Poe sighs and his hands fall from the air with a slap against his legs. He’s standing wet in the rain without an umbrella but Ben can see well enough how unkempt he is. There’s exhaustion in his eyes that are similar to Ben’s own and suddenly he considers that perhaps the man had come in search of something other than a fight.

“Listen, I-I’ve been thinking non-stop of what I did yesterday and I just wanted to say that I’ve been a total jackass. Not just lately but for a while now...maybe my whole life I can’t tell.”

Ben looks down unsure of what to say. A strong gust of wind picks up though and Lei squeaks a little, trying to burrow into his jacket. He looks inside before looking back at the General, “Do you wanna come in?”

Ben surprises himself. This man had punched him the last time they were in the same room. A punch his daughter felt too. He shouldn’t let him in and yet that look in his eyes, the weight he finally realizes is on his shoulders is too recognizable. Poe hates himself for what he did. Ben knows what it feels like, what it looks like. And perhaps there was that darker part of him that wanted this man to squirm and suffer in his self-hatred and let it consume him. To let it drag him down.

And then there’s the louder voice, the one that tells Ben to give him a chance. Because if he hates Poe and lets him fall, then Poe really does have a reason to call him Kylo Ren. If Ben wanted to make things right, perhaps it started here.

Poe didn’t exactly answer him with words. Ben’s offer seemed to surprise Poe more than it surprised himself. His eyes were wide for a moment before he nodded and stepped forward, walking in after Ben.

The door closed and Poe stood on the mat, dripping wet and Ben summoned a towel from the fresher. “Here,” he hands it over, still not really looking at him.

Ben turned around, looking at the state of the room. He had come back that morning to get himself and Lorelei cleaned up and dressed, but the rest of the room was still in shambles. The blankets were in a pile atop the mattress. Ben pulls one of the chairs to slide back over to the table, nodding to another one. A silent request for Poe to bring another one to the table to join him.

Poe does and sits down, his hands nervously fiddling with the towel in his lap. His eyes though are fixed on the little girl held close to her father’s chest. A new stream of guilt spearing through him.

“Is she alright?” Poe asks warily.

Ben could scoff at that. Her mother had been kidnapped, her father was a mess, and she could have been killed last night. Of course she wasn’t alright. But he realizes that Poe is asking if she’s hurt from his punch yesterday.

And as much as that ache may have faded, that doesn’t make it alright.

“She’s a baby, it hurt her,” Ben says through his teeth.

Poe shakes his head, ashamed. “If I had any idea you two were connected like that I never would have tried to hurt you. I never would have acted the way I did...from the beginning. I’ve been such a jack ass and honestly a little jealous because you’re right and everyone knows it,” he gives a heavy sigh. “I’ve never been good at being wrong.”

Ben nods, knowing what he means. He’s been the same way in the past.

“I’m so sorry. I’ve been so arrogant to prove to everyone I was right, I went and proved to them what a shithead I was instead. And you, you proved to them what kind of leader they really need.”

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” Ben shakes his head, “But I don’t want to be a leader. I just want my family safe. If you thought I was stealing your job then I’m afraid you still have it.”

“Honestly, after these past few days, I’m not sure I’m meant to be a leader,” Poe tells him. “It’s what I thought I was meant for. For an ego as big as mine wanted it to be my purpose. But then after...Leia passed,” Ben’s heart coils for a moment at the sound of his mother’s name. “After that, I thought I could build the Resistance back to where she was taking it. I thought I could do it, but I just fucked it all up.” Poe looks again to the baby, his eyes a little glassy. “And then, at the height of my stupidity, I went and attacked her infant granddaughter and her son that has done more for the Resistance than I ever have.”

Ben finally looks up from his daughter to the man’s face. “That’s not true. You were there, all those years. You were there, fighting beside my mom. Being the son I never was. That used to eat away at me too, I used to hate you for that more than anything, but hate doesn’t do any good now. We have to move on.”

Poe scoffs, “How could you not hate me?”

“I’m not saying you’re my favorite person, I’m just saying that my hatred has been the cause of your pain too and for that I’m sorry.”

Lorelei wiggles in his arms and he’s forgotten why he came here in the first place. _The bottle._

“Alright then, so...we’re good? You’re not gonna kill me or something?” Poe asks.

Ben rolls his eyes, “Yes, we’re fine.” _Did he really suspect he might have killed him?_

Poe nods sitting forward in his seat a bit, “Then what’s the plan?” he smiles a bit, eager to hear what Ben might say.

Ben scoffs again as he stands up, setting Lei down amongst the blankets before heading for the bottle and the milk in the small fridge, “The plan is a mess. It’s foolish and outlandish and it’s our only shot. But it does have some holes we have yet to figure out.”

“Like what?” Poe asks, his attention suffering only slightly by the continued babbling from the baby crawling on the blankets.

“Well, we’re counting on the fact that the First Order thinks I’m alone when I show up on the Ascendancy. But if I show up in one of these ships then the whole things is shot.”

“Whoa, you’re gonna just walk right back in?”

“I’m the distraction we need and the First Order is begging for. When I show up, Finn, Rose, and Maz are gonna locate whatever rebellion they have there. When we find Rey, the rest goes down from there and by then we’ll be in Coruscant, ready to liberate the galaxy from Hux.”

Poe whistles, “Wow, that is a mess, but a good one. Better than anything I would have thought up.”

“But if I show up in a Resistance ship, the whole thing will be over before it’s started if they suspect I’m accompanied.”

“You need a ship,” Poe nearly smirks.

“I need a ship,” Ben confirms.

“Oh man, you’re either gonna love me or hate me,” Poe laughs.

“Why?” Ben’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Here, follow me,” Poe stands up headed for the door.

Ben screws the cap back on the bottle, “Wait, where are we going?”

“The forest. I’ve got a ship there and I think it’ll do the trick.”

“Alright one moment,” Ben says as he kneels back down among the blankets to offer Lorelei the bottle. “We’ll meet you outside.”

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Ben is following Poe into the forest with an umbrella in one hand and a tightly bundled Lorelei in the other. He wrapped her in just about as much as he could to make sure she was warm, concealing her ears from the cold beneath a green beanie.

He let her finish the bottle before they ventured back outside, glad to see the rain had stopped for now but Ben still came prepared with the closed umbrella ready as he followed Poe Dameron of all people into the forest.

“I feel like I should prep you because I have the feeling you’re gonna be really mad when you see what I’ve got out here.”

“Why?” Ben asks, his tone suspicious and still unable to decipher what Poe is trying to get at.

“Well, let’s just say, the ship is not exactly mine. I didn’t steal it, mind you, but once I heard it was ‘avaliable’ I thought ‘What the hell, I’ll just take it for safekeeping.’”

Ben tries to keep from muttering under his breath, focusing on adjusting Lorelei so she’s comfy. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder which likely wasn’t comfortable considering the slight hike they were on, but she was still exhausted from...well, everything.

They finally descend into a large clearing where Ben spots the cave Poe spoke of. And it’s rather large he notices. Poe nods, encouraging him to follow. “This cave was actually meant to keep a ship reserved away from the base. I looked at the architectural layouts I found in my quarters. That’s how I found it. Unfortunately, when I found the cave it was empty but I think I found it a rather pleasant tenant and I’m betting you’ll think so too.” Poe shuffles over to one of the walls in the dark leaving Ben standing in the pitch black.

“Poe what the hell are you-” Ben begins but is interrupted when he hears a loud switch and suddenly lights begin to flicker on throughout the rather large cave. Poe stood about ten paces away beside the switch on the wall with a smirk on his face, but his eyes aren’t on Ben.

“There she is,” Poe sighs as he looks beyond him and Ben turns, his jaw dropping.

It was his TIE Silencer.

He hadn’t seen it since the day Lorelei was born. He had abandoned it on Takodana, right outside Maz’s mountain home. He looks at it now in confusion as he has yet to figure out how the hell Poe managed to get a hold of it.

Just then the pilot steps up beside him, arms crossed and a stupid smile on his face. “She’s one hell of a ship. I got to admit, you really do have excellent taste in spacecraft. She flies like a dream. A nimble, ion, sleek, and obsidian flavored dream.”

“How the hell did this get here?” Ben asks him, the tone of his voice only in minor annoyance rather than actual anger.

“Well, Finn and Rose mentioned they investigated on Takodana and found a few clues including a distinctly recognizable First Order hot rod that despite my ego, I knew I needed to get my hands on. Soon after, I took one of our less popular ships and sold it off to a pirate and tracked down the house where I was delighted to find her waiting for me.”

Ben shakes his head, “I take it back. I _do_ stillhate you.”

Poe laughs, “I still hate you too.”

* * *

 

When Ben walks back into the control center with Lorelei, Maz gives a sigh of relief. He had taken much too long and was worried something might have happened. But then she sees who strides in beside him and nearly bellows out.

Poe Dameron. Walking beside Ben Solo. Only he’s being civil. Both of them are.

“Poe?” Finn announces from beside Rose and all eyes of the room move for the door as they see the two men next to each other. The two men who sure enough could have started a war of their own yesterday.

Ben strides forward, nodding for Poe to follow him. He passes Lorelei to Malla who is standing with her son beside some panels, riddled with images of the Ascendancy.

When he turns, everyone watches them warily, waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Ben, what’s going on?”

“Poe found me a ship.” Ben refrains from rolling his eyes, wondering if it counts if Poe really just stole his ship and hid it away but won’t forsake the lucky break of having another ship available. “They won’t know,” he clarifies.

Maz frowns in confusion for a moment before she considers Poe off to the side. Perhaps he had forfeited his arrogant asshole persona at last.

_Was he actually helping Ben?_

Finn clears his throat, “Well, that’s...good then.”

Kaydel speaks up, “If we have a ship for Ben then everything else is ready to go. We should send our first wave of fighters to Coruscant soon.”

Rose, among many others, nod. “Yeah, maybe we should, unless…” She looks over to their General who hasn’t said anything since he came in. “Unless there are any other opinions.”

Eyes find their way back to Poe and the young pilot has never felt so intimidated by them. Ben looks to him too, giving him an encouraging nod.

_Damn, how things had changed…_

Poe clears his throat, “I...I would like to apologize, to all of you, for how I’ve been acting. I’ve been nothing short of a pompous ass that has been too stubborn and too selfish to see just what’s right in front of me this whole time. I know that doesn’t take back what I’ve done, but I couldn’t be more proud of all of you.”

Finn watches Poe. His friend. A complicated one, but a friend nonetheless. To know that he sees how wrong he’s been has given Finn a newfound confidence in his him that hadn’t been there yesterday.

As Poe claims to be proud of them, Finn is proud of Poe too.

“A true leader doesn’t behave like that,” Poe continues, “A leader is wise and composed and everything I proved I’m unable to be,” that earns some quiet chuckles, though Poe wasn’t searching for them. “Which is why I’ve decided, for this mission and whatever time we have left together, I don’t deserve to be your leader. You deserve a leader who acts in the best interest of the galaxy and the Resistance.”

Poe walks forward until he’s standing right before Kaydel, her eyes wide in confusion as he looks at her, “Which is why Captain Connix here will be your General from now on.” He holds out his hand to shake in congratulations which she takes, accepting the duty. It earns applause throughout the control room.

“Thank you,” Kaydel says to him in genuine gratitude. As annoying as Poe was, she is glad he finally came around.

“I should have done it ages ago,” Poe shrugs like it was finally obvious. She was made for this job. In his attempts to live up to Leia’s legacy, he failed to notice the real person for the job had already done it. She could fill Leia’s shoes better than anyone he knows.

He steps aside as Kaydel jumps to action, “Thank you, everyone,” she says, trying to quiet some of the applause still ringing throughout the room. “Let’s report to the hangar and prepare the transports that we’re taking to Coruscant.”

A majority of the room files out, but Ben remains where he is. Maz still has her arms crossed as she looks at Poe who remains in the control room as well.

“They’re playing your song,” she says, expecting him to jump into his x-wing and fly into battle as he always does.

Poe shakes his head, looking back to Finn and Rose who are now standing beside Ben. “No. I think this is my place. I’ll stay on base. Hold down the fort.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Maz says.

“Well, I’m trying to not be like me for once.”

“Hmm,” Maz hums, finally nodding her head. “Well keep it up. It suits you.”

Chewie comes in a while later. He had been working on the Falcon in the hangar. He was planning to head to Coruscant too. He looks to his wife and son, “Seems like people are gearing up to go.” He steps beside Malla to look down at the baby in her arms.

Malla had told Ben that she would stay behind and watch after Lorelei. The base was the safest place for her, knowing some of the transports headed for Coruscant faced the risk of being shot down.

Arkanis was the best place for her in the midst of all this.

Ben was so grateful for it. He trusted Malla with Lorelei. She would keep her safe and protect her if anything went wrong.

Not that Ben expected anything to go wrong on Arkanis, but if _he_ didn’t make it back…

Malla would always care for her. That is all that matters. He wouldn’t leave her alone.

But if the rest of the fleet was leaving by tonight, that meant he would be leaving soon too. Tonight would be the last shred of time he has with Lorelei before everything started to move forward.

He takes Lei back from Malla’s arms. She follows her husband and son out and then it’s just him with Finn, Rose, Maz, and Poe.

“She’s staying behind, huh?” Poe gestures to Malla.

“Yeah. She said she’d watch after Lorelei.”

  
“Well, I’ll be here too. I’ll keep an eye on her,” Poe offers.

“Thank you,” Ben says.

“But I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me.”

“She has excellent judgment then,” Maz jokes, smacking him lightly on the arm.

 

* * *

 

It’s evening now. Chewie and Waroo just left with the rest of the fleet. Ben and Lei joined Malla to say goodbye to them. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be long before they were all reunited. Rey included.

They will all be together again soon.

Ben watched as they flew off in his dad’s old ship, unsure how it could stay together in hyperspace anymore but knowing better than to doubt it.

Chewie had gently ruffled Lorelei’s hair in goodbye and then did the same to Ben. It left his hair completely covering his face which Malla then tried to help him with since his arms were occupied with the baby. Ben isn’t surprised. It hadn’t been the first time Chewie had departed with such a gesture.

Maz walks over to where they were, the hangar fairly quiet now as the last of the ships leave to join the fleet. She’s got a jumble of fabric in her arms and Ben watches curiously as she approaches them. “Found these on the Epoch from all those months ago. Figured if you’ve got that ship then you need an outfit to match.”

She passes the material to him and he realizes it’s the black tunic and flight pants he wore the day he left the First Order. The clothes he had worn when he delivered Lorelei on Takodana.

He’ll be showing up just as he left. In his ship, dressed in black, frantically searching for Rey. And just like he did the day Lei was born, he was going to find her, too.

“You should get some rest. We’ll be leaving early,” Maz says.

Ben nods, knowing it was likely he wouldn’t sleep but he needed to try. “Yeah...we have a lot to talk about anyway,” Ben turns, bidding everyone goodnight.

As Maz watches him walk back to his room, Rey’s room, he realizes he meant he had to talk with Lorelei.

He had to say goodbye.

* * *

 

He fixed the blankets around the mattress to bring the fort back to its former glory. He watches as Lorelei mutters to her toys and he smiles. He imagines how happy she will be once Rey is back. How this gaping absence within their minds and hearts would soon be eased with her return.

“We’re gonna be okay. This is almost over, Lei.” He’s on his side, studying her little hands as they run past Captain Kriffie. Her favorite of her toys though she didn’t have many left. A lot got left behind on Lah’mu. Their home.

A part of Ben wonders if they could go back. When this is all over, maybe he and Rey could take her back there. It’s a comforting thought but he knows they need to find a new sanctuary. They need a new place where they won’t be found, even if the First Order hopefully will be dead. There are still plenty of creatures throughout this galaxy looking to kill him and everything he holds dear.

And then he thinks of tomorrow again. He never stops thinking of it, but now he thinks of everything that could go wrong. If he was killed. If Rey was killed.

If Malla looking after her became a permanent arrangement.

“Lei?” He begins, wishing she could understand but as usual, speaking to her helped him sort his thoughts out. It helped him breathe.

Lorelei is focused on the tooka doll, too busy to look at her father but Ben continues anyway. “Lei...no matter what happens tomorrow, you will always be loved. Your mother and I...you mean everything to us. Everything.”

Tears escape down his face and he’s quiet for a moment, trying to compose himself, closing his eyes and refusing to think of a reality where he and Rey did not survive. Where Lei would be left behind.

And then he feels the soft caress of little hands on his face. He opens his eyes to see Lorelei reaching for him, keeping a hold of his face. “Dada. Da da da.”

Ben could melt he loves her so much. He pulls her into his side, laying back on the mattress. “I’m here. I’ll always be here. Your mother and I, even if…” he suppresses a sob. He thinks of what Luke had said.

_No one is ever really gone._

“Even if it seems like we’re gone...we’ll always be here for you. Always. We love you so much. So much, Lorelei.”

Her lip curls over, a small whimper coming from her as he realizes that she can feel the sorrow in him. “No, it’s okay. Don’t cry. We’re coming back,” he tells her. He doesn’t plan on getting killed and he knows Rey and himself will fight like hell to get back to her. They have too much to lose. “This will be done and we will be able to live again.”

He wishes she could understand. He thinks of Rey, how many years she waited for her family to return. How her life was dominated by the sands and trying to survive. She could only trust herself. He knows one of Rey’s greatest fears is for Lorelei to experience that too.

He stays there until she falls asleep, her steady little breaths comforting in the silence of the room, save for the light patter of rain outside. 

Slowly he stands, knowing he was too nervous to sleep.

He lays out the black garments for the morning. His boots never changed, the only pair he's worn all this time, but he lines them up too, trying to organize these few things he can control.

He sorts through the backpack, setting the three lightsabers down before him. He would give his crossguard and Rey’s double sided saber to Maz. She will return them to himself and Rey once she frees them from the cells. Were he to bring them ready on his belt, they would only be confiscated and there was no need to complicate things.

He looks to Soldar’s saber for a moment. The saber left behind beside a severed hand in the grass. Ben thought of destroying it, but such an effective weapon needed to be utilized in this time of going against all odds. An idea strikes him and he decides to lay it out as well, planning to bring it with him in the morning but not for himself.

He then digs further into the backpack to find the journal he and Rey had been keeping for the past few years. In their discovery of the balance and their disapproval of the Jedi texts, they had begun to make their own.

The light and darkness they found in each other and in the balance were reminiscent of a Jedi Ben had only heard of.

_The Grey Jedi._

However, with very little knowledge of their history or where these other texts might have been hidden (given they even existed), Ben and Rey resorted to recording their own findings.

He flips through the pages, seeing all they had done. It had been a while since he had looked through it. Their discoveries and writing sessions had stalled ever since Rey got pregnant and then their months on Lah’mu left them occupied with plenty of other things. But now as he looks through it and sees all they did, he wishes they had done more.

_What if this is all she has left of us if we don't come back? What if this is all Lorelei has to keep hold of?_

He hates the thoughts but they come anyway. He had to think of everything. If the worst were to happen, Lorelei still needed to be taught control. She was powerful. She needed help if it came to that.

Ben flips to the next open page as his other hand scrambles, searching for a pen in the bottom of the bag. He hunches over the journal in his lap. The position is uncomfortable but Ben doesn’t notice that for quite some time. He is too focused on writing.

He doesn't want her to feel like she has to become anyone's savior. She deserves to make her own choices and her force abilities shouldn't define what she needs to do. She could do anything. But he still wants to offer her anything he can to help her make that possible. 

He writes everything he knows of control, of patience, of love. He tells her all the things he’s told her over the past few days that she was too young to understand. If this was his last night alive, he needed to leave everything he had for Lorelei. A way to be there for her in case he physically was not.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying again until he sees his tears fall on the paper. He wipes them away, trying to clear them away so he can read what he’s written. Hoping to find even just a shred of coherence as he frantically tried to capture the depth of his feelings, his fears, his heart.

He starts back at the beginning. 

_My Dear Lorelei…_

 

* * *

 

It’s early when Maz arrives at the hangar, but she isn’t the first it seems. Poe is already there beside a craft Maz hasn’t seen in months. Ben’s TIE, by the looks of it.

“Dameron,” she acknowledges him.

“Kanata,” he answers back in greeting. She looks at him curiously. He must have gotten up early to bring the ship here so Ben wouldn’t have to. She’s never known Poe to do something so sentimental but then she realizes it was likely a matter of him just wanting to fly the ship one more time. That suspicion is confirmed when Poe tells her, “I sure am gonna miss her. She flies like an angel.”

Maz can only roll her eyes but she finds herself smiling anyway.

Finn and Rose show up next in the quiet hangar, surprised to see the Silencer as well but resorting to their own list of things to do as they prepare the small ship they were planning to take. “Just checked again. Ascendancy is still in the Gaulus Sector.”

“Alright then. We’ll head for Ryloth then. They’ll be close to there.”

Malla shows up then, greeting everyone but she looks around a little too nervously. “Where’s Ben and Lei?” she moans.

“Not here yet. He will be though. He knows when we’re leaving,” Finn says.

“I hope he got some rest,” says Rose.

“If I know Ben, then he didn’t. Let’s just hope when this is all over he can sleep for a week. I know that’s what I’ll be doing,” Maz says. It gets some chuckles but she knows everyone is too nervous to laugh. Too nervous to suggest that the week of sleep only happens if they don’t die.

“Anyone speak to Kaydel?” she asks.

Poe speaks up, “She messaged me a while ago. They’re still in hyperspace. Should arrive in several hours which should give you all the time you need to get on board before Hugs-a-lot decides to join them.”

“Good,” Maz nods. She means to ask something else but just then, she sees Ben making his way into the hangar, hidden beneath an umbrella. They all go silent as he walks in, the umbrella cast aside. Lorelei is snug in gray pajamas that cover her feet and a beanie Maz knitted herself. However, their eyes are focused on Ben. He’s wearing those clothes. His “Kylo Ren” clothes. And his beard was now shaved. The smooth expanse of his pale skin surprising and revealing the scar across his features even more. 

“Morning,” he says quietly.

“Good morning,” they all greet him.

“The Ascendancy is still in the same place?” he asks.

“Yeah, just checked,” Finn tells him.

“Alright then,” Ben breathes, “We should go now then. Before they move again.”

“Ben, you should eat something,” Maz tells him like he was a child.

“I..I can’t eat anything right now,” he tells her. He’s way too nervous to keep anything substantial down. He hasn’t had much of an appetite lately anyway. Besides, if he’s about to be stuck in his ship for a while, he would rather not give his stomach anything to reject if he gets sick in lightspeed.

Ben settles one knee on the ground, the other serving as a seat for Lei as he keeps hold of her. He shucks the backpack off his shoulder and to the floor so he can shuffle through its contents. “Maz, here.” She jogs over and he places the two sabers in her hands. “For when you find us,” he says.

"Sounds good, Solo. Guess I'll see you then."

"See you then," he repeats.

Maz gives Lorelei a little tickle on the chin. "Bye, my dear. See you soon," she tells her before stepping away again.

Ben's hand grabs hold of the third saber in the pack, “Finn, come here.” Finn abides, kneeling before him.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I want you to use this, should you need it,” he holds out the lightsaber to him and Finn’s eyes shoot up to the other man.

“What?”

“This probably isn’t the smoothest way to bring it up, but before I nearly sliced you in half on Starkiller, you were doing a fair job holding your own. I think you could put this to good use.”

Finn chuckles a little, “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“But...isn’t that one of the bad ones?”

Ben shrugs, “It belonged to a ‘bad’ person but that doesn’t mean it has to be for that purpose.”

“Is it red?” Finn asks.

Ben hesitates for a moment, knowing Finn won’t like the answer, “Well, yeah.”

Finn’s face scrunches up and Ben wonders if he’s going to refuse it, but is surprised when Finn takes it in his hand, observing it cautiously. “Well, It doesn’t match my outfit but I guess I could find a purpose for it.”

Ben rolls his eyes, denying the smile that tempts his features, “Oh, shut the hell up.”

Finn gives a chuckle as he stands and makes his way back over to Rose who smacks him herself. “You can be such an ass,” she laughs.

Ben looks to Poe next. “Thank you for bringing it over,” he nods to the Silencer.

Poe shrugs, “Anything to fly in it one more time.”

Ben chuckles, realizing that as much as the Silencer was customized to Ben’s personal designs, Poe seems to enjoy them more than himself.

Ben stands again, grabbing the backpack with his hand and making his way for Malla. He approaches her slowly, knowing in just a moment, he will have to hand over Lorelei and say goodbye for real. Ben hands the backpack to her and she accepts it with furry arms.

“Her favorite toys are in there. Her favorite book, _Fuzzy Ewoks._  If she’s having trouble falling asleep, usually a walk or a few reads of that does the trick.”

Malla nods with a smile, knowing how hard this is for him.

Ben waits for a moment before he speaks next. “There’s also another book in there. It’s more of a journal. Rey and I had been making something of a guide for our bond and the balance. It discusses the force as we’ve come to know it and how to control it. If…” his voice breaks and he clears his throat. “If anything were to happen,” he says, knowing by that, Malla takes his ominous meaning, “then it will help her. I made some additions last night just in case. I need her to read it so she knows that we didn’t...” Tears run down his face freely now. “That we didn’t leave her.”

Malla grabs his arm, tears of her own getting lost in her fur. “She won’t need to, Ben. You’re coming back soon. Both of you. You can teach her yourselves.” she moans.

Ben nods, wiping his tears away. The other four behind him wipe away at their own tears and Maz snaps so Finn and Rose move to fire up the ship. Maz waits at the end of the ramp to make sure Ben is alright as he says goodbye, her heart aching.

Ben looks to his daughter in his arms. He turns her so her face is right before his. He looks into her eyes, as he’s done so many times before. Her eyes that everyone said were his, but as he looks at her now, he could swear they were Rey’s.

A small sob escapes him as he pulls her close to his chest hugging her tight.

_I love you. I love you so much. Never forget that._

Ben takes a moment to just breathe her in, to forget everything else just for that moment as he tried to preserve this moment as long as he could. He hasn’t been separated from her for more than an hour since the day she was born. He’s been with her every day since she first came into this galaxy.

Every day but today. Today that would change.

“Okay,” he whispers, trying to prep himself to let her go. To pass her over. His heart screams not to but he knows he’s out of time. He needs to let go. “Okay, okay,” quickly he passes her over to Malla who takes her into her warm furry arms. Ben’s eyes are blurry with tears as his arms are now empty and Lei looks back at him with fear in her eyes, confused.

He brushes past her cheeks with the back of his fingers, “Goodbye,” he whispers before quickly turning around and marching for the Silencer, not trusting himself to look back.

Lorelei begins to whine in Malla’s arms, her little arms reaching for her father. Malla tries to soothe her, bouncing slightly, shushing her gently.

Those whines quickly become frightened cries and Maz sees how Ben struggles to move forward. As much as she wishes to rush over and hug the boy, she knows the best way she could help him is if she let him get to his ship. The sooner he did, the sooner this could be over. She nods to Poe in one final farewell though he isn’t looking. His eyes are trained on the man trying to get to the ship. She turns around, rushing up the ramp and telling Finn and Rose to start the ship and leave the hangar, they needed to give Ben something to follow.

Ben hears the engines fire up the ship and he sees how they slowly make their way out of the hangar. He needs to follow them. His legs going so slow.

Lorelei’s cries are panicked, scared. He tries to keep walking, but then he hears her call for him.

“Dada!” He stops in his tracks. His feet frozen. He shuts his eyes, refusing to turn around. If he does, he doubts he’ll ever leave. And he needs to leave. He needs to.

He forces his legs to stride forward, leaving behind his daughter in tears, making his own fall ever faster. He jumps into the Silencer, the airlock literally silencing all noise and he fires up the ship and follows after Finn, Rose, and Maz.

As they exit the atmosphere, he double checks the coordinates before going to light speed. As the blues and whites of hyperspace fill his eyes, a sob shudders through his body and he cries in the sudden discomforting silence and solitude of his own company.

Half of his heart is left behind with Lorelei. The other half was with Rey, locked away in a First Order cell. It leaves him with an even greater gap in his chest than before and Ben wonders that if this was even a tenth of the absence Rey was feeling within herself, it was the worst torture imaginable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I tried to give Poe some dignity and I hope it doesn't come across as too out of place. I wanted to show how Ben could come to accept and forgive someone who was looking for forgiveness too. Anyway, I know this chapter was a little bit much but I needed to get this rescue mission into effect because we've still got a ways to go here and I needed to get the ball rolling. 
> 
> The journal was briefly mentioned a few times but I know Rey packed it with her in Chapter 4 when she left the Resistance (in case that sounded a little out of the blue and you want a refresher). 
> 
> I really hope that the way this story goes is satisfactory for all of you. I've never written anything this long before or written anything read by this many people. It does give me some anxiety on finishing this thing (even if I have it all planned out) because writing the action-heavy chapters is kind of hard. My writing skills are shaking in their boots.
> 
> I love you all!!
> 
> <3<3<3<3<3!!!
> 
> BTW  
> I recently got an iPad so I've been trying to figure out procreate and I thought Ben and Lei would be fun practice!  
> 


	36. Infiltrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben arrives at the First Order but as they often do, things don't exactly go as planned.
> 
> Infiltration happens from everybody. Nobody is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter really stressed me out because it was one of those crossroad chapters that has way too many details that come into effect later. I needed to get some stuff organized in order for it flow right. 
> 
> That being said, it will probably flow a little choppy because this is when multiple POV's get involved and everything has to merge together back into one storyline and it gets a little stressful. 
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone still reading, commenting, and...kudo-ing.
> 
> <3!!

Mitaka is on the bridge, as always. He’s at his stationed panel, trying to keep his eyes open. It was one of the longest shifts he’s had in a while. Some of the officers from the bridge were reassigned to help in the security screenings of the stormtroopers.  It meant he was working even longer increments than usual and it left him exhausted.

Anything Mitaka did too slow or not adequately enough was met with extreme humiliation, never mind the many hours of sleep he wasn’t getting. Hux enjoyed belittling him any way he could.

That went for everybody.

At this point, Mitaka was hoping he might just die from exhaustion. It was why he hoped every day was more or less predictable monotony rather than anything challenging. He didn’t have the energy anymore.

So when a sensor on his panel beeps in the signal of something, Mitaka could have groaned. Perhaps he does but it doesn’t seem to be noticed by anyone else. Begrudgingly, Mitaka pulls up the screen and his eyes nearly pop out of his skull as he sees who’s calling.

 _Kylo Ren_.

Kylo Ren was approaching the Ascendancy in his Silencer, and he was purposely calling them to make sure they noticed.

_What is he doing? It’s suicide!_

Mitaka nearly wants to message him now and tell him to turn back while he can, while no one else seems to notice him, but it’s too late. Another officer picks up the reading on the sensors.

“There’s a small craft approaching, Lieutenant.”

Mitaka feigns obliviousness, “Ahh, yes. Let me see.”

“Who is it?” The other officers ask. “Who’s calling?”

Mitaka clears his throat, “K-Kylo Ren.”

“Kylo Ren!?” some exclaim. He’s returned, not to take back his position of Supreme Leader, but to take back the girl. The woman who was taken from him...and their child.

“What is he doing?” another officer’s asks.

Mitaka clears his throat again, the collar of his uniform feeling tighter than usual. “Let me inquire with him.” He presses a button on the panel and the face of Kylo Ren appears before them all in the form of a blue hologram.

His eyes look dark and angry at first but his brows twitch slightly when he recognizes who he’s speaking to. “Mitaka?” Kylo rasps.

“Kylo Ren, s-” Mitaka cuts himself off before he calls him sir. He reminds himself this man is a war criminal, a traitor, and a fugitive. That’s what everyone else was thinking. But all Mitaka could think was how the First Order would have been much better off if Kylo never left.

And yet, he can’t blame him for leaving. If Mitaka had the opportunity to flee here forever, he would have done it too. If Mitaka had a family waiting for him somewhere, anywhere, he would have left too.

“Listen, Mitaka, you know why I’m here. But I know they won’t give me that. Please, just…” Kylo shakes his head. “Just please let me get onboard alive. I need to see her.”

Lennox has a hand hovered above the button that deploys the missiles. “Mitaka, what are you doing?”

Mitaka ignores him, instead, his own hand pressing a different button. A squadron of TIE’s deploying from the hangar. “These pilots will escort you to the hangar. Gen-” Mitaka nearly makes a grave mistake. “Supreme Leader Hux will likely be waiting for you.”

Kylo nods, “I see, thank you.” The holo ends.

They all watch as the multiple TIE’s surround the larger TIE Silencer. The other officers seem to rejoice at the fact that the traitor has returned. Lennox emerges over, a look of suspicion on his face and Mitaka begins to explain himself.

Rationality is what they were supposed to favor was it not?

“The Supreme Leader would prefer him alive. You know how he wishes to see them executed on Coruscant, especially given the riots.”

Lennox frowns in surprise as if caught off guard at the younger man’s point. “I see. Well done, Lieutenant. I’ll make sure Hux hears of this.” He chuckles quietly a moment later, “He would have been very cross if I deployed those missiles, wouldn’t he?”

Mitaka hums, feigning attention. He’s still lost in his own thoughts, wondering if he had heard Kylo right.

_Did Kylo say “Thank you” to me?_

* * *

 

Ben enters the hangar, greeted with an army of stormtroopers and officers lining the massive room. Similar to how he left. Only this time they weren't shooting at him...yet.

He lands gently and turns off the engines, the airlock seal hissing as he opens the hatch. He has his hands up in surrender as the many guards aim blasters at his head.  They push him to his knees and he bites his cheek, trying to keep a growl from escaping.

And then the repulsorlift doors open and reveal Hux and his entourage of Ben’s former Knights. They step before Ben and Hux wears a knowing smirk on his face. “Took you long enough,” Hux nearly chuckles. “We’ve been expecting you for some time after your playmate was taken.”

“He’s come to join all the fun, hasn’t he?” Azmo taunts. “Think of how pleased the sand slut will be.”

Ben tries to rise to his feet, his teeth bared in fury and his fists ready to strike. As he stands, the troopers behind him shoot him with something and he crumbles back to his knees. “Where is she?” Ben growls out of his sudden pain.

“Don’t worry. Where you two are going, you’ll have plenty of time to burn together.” Hux motions to the troopers,  suddenly the fire of several blasters echo out and Ben is struck with more of that familiar sting. His back burning.

He jolts forward, groaning. It’s a familiar pain, like the one he felt when Rey faded from him on Lah’mu.

These were some sort of tranquilizer. They were sedating him, not killing him.

A final blow strikes him into his side and Ben feels the black spots clouding his vision begin to overtake him.

And in his heart, he feels how the last essence of Lorelei he can sense within him is gone. Just as the force had been sedated from Rey, it was now happening to him. His frantic mind can only manage a single thought before it all goes black. Painfully quiet amidst the chaos.

“Lei…”

Ben’s final word is missed by most nearby, or mistaken for babbling as he succumbed to sleep. Hux chuckles before clapping his hands together. A strange sound emitting from him as his flesh hand clanks against his prosthetic one.

“Excellent. Let’s have him moved and detained on the rehabilitation level. When he wakes, we’ll show him just how hospitable we can be. I want his journey to Coruscant to be nothing short of quiet. The same goes for the girl. By the time of their execution, they will be welcoming death with open arms.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Soldar says as he steps forward, gesturing for Azmo, Nourdi, Dono and Iella to help him levitate the massive man to the detention level. “I’ve got the perfect spot for him.”

* * *

 

Xid watches as the knights take Kylo to the repulsorlift and vanish behind the doors. They didn’t even notice he wasn’t there.

And they didn’t notice the familiar presence that arrived on board as soon as Kylo came flying in.

But it wasn’t in the hangar. No. It was somewhere else.

As the troopers file out and leave, likely to be screened and interrogated, Xid is left with his thoughts. He decides while everyone is busy, he’ll investigate what they were too blind to notice.

Kylo Ren did not come alone. It wasn’t as easy as they all suspected.

* * *

 

Maz gets out first, Finn and Rose trailing behind her.

“Alright, you two know where you’re going?” Maz asks.

“No, but I have a hunch. We’ll be smart about it,” Finn says grabbing Rose’s hand. She squeezes back, nervous but determined.

“Sounds solid enough. Keep your communicator's on as well as your heads. Good luck.”

Finn takes a deep breath, bouncing ever so slightly as he tries to ward off his nerves. Rose looks at him before looking back to Maz. “You too. We’ll see you soon, Maz.”

“See you soon kiddos. Stay safe.”

“You too.”

* * *

Maz said she was going to locate which level Rey and Ben were, hoping they would be on the same level. She decides traveling through the ventilation shafts would shield her well enough. She was small enough that she could crawl through, even with the pack on her back.

Finn and Rose though did not have that luxury. Actually, Rose was so tiny she could likely make it work but it wouldn’t be ideal for investigating things the way they needed to. Instead, they did what did three years ago.

They found a change of clothes.

This time they settle for stormtrooper armor and helmets. Finn conceals the saber Ben had given him in a utility belt and settles for carrying a blaster, at least for now.

Rose looks possibly more obvious in the disguise than she would be if she just walked around in her jumpsuit. Again, her height the biggest give away, or in her case the smallest. Still, she walks beside Finn, her own blaster in her grip.

“Where are we actually going?” Rose asks him quietly as they stride through empty halls.

“Well, I was a janitor. Maybe there are some more disgruntled custodians waiting for us. If not, maybe they can lead us to where we really need to be. I still know my sanitation lingo pretty well,” Finn tries to joke but knows they should be quiet in case they come across anybody.

Rose nods and they round more corners, blindly making their way through the ship that seemed to go on forever. Before they turn another corner, Rose halts, realizing something was missing. “Why aren’t we in lightspeed?”

Finn halts, his feet searching for the vibrations of hyperspace, coming to the same conclusion. They weren’t in hyperspace yet.

They weren’t yet en route to Coruscant.

* * *

 

Xid approaches Hux in his throne room, requesting a private audience. Hux looks like he might decline but allows him a few minutes to make himself clear.

“What is it, Xid? I would have thought you were below, making our guests comfortable. Besides, there’s much to prepare. I need to get the execution preparations in order but Coruscant is a kriffing wreck at the moment and we’re having problems coordinating. ”

“Sir, with all due respect, something isn’t right.”

Hux frowns, “What do you mean by that?”

“Ren. He just walked in without a fight. He didn’t even have his lightsaber with him. I think he’s conspired with someone. If he loves the child as much as the woman suggests, then I doubt he would leave it unattended.”

Hux shakes his head. “Ren is weak. His actions have proved that. He’s likely stashed the child somewhere or perhaps it’s already dead. Perhaps he has nothing left to fight for.”

“Sir, that holo that was released yesterday, although despicable, would only have given hope to him, the way it did to the slaves on Coruscant.”

“Do not speak of hope in here, Master Xid.”

“You misunderstand. If Kylo carries hope for this woman and their daughter, we must eliminate all of it. You know how emotional he is. If he was here to give up, truly, I think he would have killed as many as he could have to get to us. He wouldn’t have just submitted to his knees. When Soldar and I were on Lah’mu we could feel his rage from miles away. He wouldn’t resign like this. He’s suppressing himself for some reason.”

“Well, the case you and Soldar made in this very instance seemed to only encourage you before. You suspected he would come, begging for her life. Why now are you adamant something else is going on?” Hux is unsatisfied with the man’s reasoning. Too quick to believe in the convenience of their current circumstances.

“Because a lot has changed since then. The holo yesterday, the screening we’re holding right now, the riots and rebellion on Coruscant. Something is happening. I think we were wrong. We suspected Kylo was weak-”

“He is weak!” Hux snaps.

“-But he is also emotional. If he’s so emotional for this woman, willing to risk everything he has, he wouldn’t risk the same for the child. He’s working with someone. I know it.”

“Who would work with him, Xid?” Hux asks, the very notion sounding ridiculous. If they wouldn’t work with him, then no one else could, Hux is fairly positive.

“I’m not sure. But I can find out,” Xid assures him.

Hux is skeptical as he watches Xid. He wanted to believe that it was as easy as it seemed. That Kylo was as foolish and weak as always. But he hates to admit he sees the point. Perhaps it was smart to ensure this opportunity to ensure the capture was not overlooked.

Because Xid is right. Hux isn’t willing to jeopardize their current and obvious advantage, even if it seems suddenly convenient. And he can see how amidst the success the other knights are feeling, Xid is only suspicious of it.

“Very well. Master Xid, you have ten hours to find me something worthwhile. If I don’t hear from you by then, we’re departing to Coruscant whether or not you’re on board. Understood?”

“Perfectly, sir.”

He knows what he’s going to do. This is his chance to prove them all wrong.

He was going to smoke out whatever lurked beneath the surface, knowing if he succeeded, Kylo Ren would be ruined forever.

Because Hux was right. This galaxy was no place for hope, and once Ren and his whore were burned out for good, there would be no room left for something so trivial.

* * *

 

Rey wakes up to hear loud laughing coming from behind the door.

 _Dono_ , she thinks. The woman always sounded a little too hysterical. As if she was on some sort of hallucinogen non-stop.

Rey crawls along the dark planes of the cold floor. She’s glad they haven’t clamped another collar around her neck though it was a relief rather strange to be glad for. At least she can breathe a little better even if the serum still keeps her disoriented. She’s still without the force.

Rey sets her head flat against the durasteel door. She hears them shriek with laughter or at least a few of them and then she hears what must be Soldar bellow at them.

“Knock it off. We got to get him strapped to a big enough restraining chair before he wakes.”

“We know, we know!” she hears another voice but she can’t tell who it is. It’s too muffled. But it isn’t that that frightens her.

They were taking another prisoner to a cell.

Rey’s heart beats faster, worried about what that could mean. She slides along the wall, chasing down the muffled voices, trying to hear anything she can. That means there’s a cell right next to hers. That’s where they were all going.

But Rey’s hands shake with fear as she tries to deny who else would be imprisoned by these knights. She tries to deny the fear in her heart that the only other person all these knights would need to restrain, or even keep alive, is Ben.

She has admitted to herself that as much as she wishes to protect Ben and Lei, she knows Ben would come for her. She just hopes that whatever he does he isn’t foolish about it.

So it couldn’t be him. She refused to even comprehend the possibility. He wouldn’t have gotten caught.

“How long ‘till he wakes up?” she thinks she hears Azmo’s voice.

“They shot him with smaller doses than we give the girl. Shouldn’t be long for a man of his size.”

Rey's heart is sinking as she tries to deny it.  

_No. Not Ben. Not my Ben. He wouldn’t have gotten caught._

“Just wait until we tell the sand rat. She’s gonna flip her shit!” Dono shrieks again.

“I wonder what he ended up doing with the little spawn then. Perhaps he dumped her on Jakku where all junior desert rats go.”

“Suppose we go check for ourselves. Kid’s gotta have something powerful about it if it came from the two of them.”

_No, no, no. It can’t be._

“Silence. We’ll soon embark for Coruscant and when we arrive, they’ll be executed. From then on out, we can spend our time searching for the child, given it’s still alive.”

Rey clamps a hand over her mouth as she sobs out.

Ben was here. But he was captured. He was being taken to be locked away in one of these cells just like her.

And if he was here, where was Lorelei? Surely Ben wouldn’t have left her alone. She was never meant to be alone. Never.

She slides to the floor, feeling hopeless as she wonders just how far Ben is from her reach. He was just beyond this wall and her arms yearned to hold him.

She knows soon they won’t have the chance if they get to Coruscant as they say.

* * *

 

Finn and Rose have been wandering the halls. The suspiciously empty halls.

“What in the kriff…Did they all have the day off?” Finn whispers under his breath, confused where everyone could be. Surely there would at least be patrols roaming the corridors. When Finn was on First Order ships, it was regulation that each level had a certain amount of security.

At least a janitor.

“Do you think something happened in the hangar...with Ben?” Rose asks.

Finn shakes his head, unperceivable by Rose from beneath their helmets. “I don’t know. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say we were on the wrong ship. It’s like a ghost town in here.”

“Where would the stormtrooper lodging be? Where would they sleep, eat, train?”

“Knowing Hux, he probably put them in the lower levels. He relies on them for an army but most of the time, he wants them out of sight if they look like they’re anything but soldiers.”

“That bastard. I wouldn’t mind running into him and...pew-pew,” she pretends to fire her blaster, making the sound with her mouth, “right between the eyes.”

Finn chuckles, “' _Pew-pew?_ '”

“But only after a punch to the gut, a kick to the nards, and loogie in the eye,” she jokes around.

Finn tries to suppress the laugh that rises within him, “I would pay a million credits to see you kick Hux in the-”

“Troopers!” a voice bellows out and instantly Finn and Rose silence, fixing their postures back to one of false regulation.

“Sorry, sir,” Rose says, trying to make her voice sound deeper.

“Sir?” the voice sounds offended and they realize it is not quite a “sir” but more of a “ma’am”.

“I am SD-9841,” she almost sounds embarrassed, her voice distinctly a little deep.

“Apologies, we meant no disrespect. It’s just been a little too quiet today. You startled us.” Finn says, suddenly feeling like he was sweating beneath his armor.

“Yeah. This ship gives me chills. I was glad to see you two on patrol as well. Don’t exactly want to be on my own.”

“Where is everyone?” Rose asks.

“Being questioned along with everyone else on this bloody ship. I just got released from mine. Have you two been screened yet?” the trooper asks and Finn and Rose try to scramble an answer, wondering what "screening" was. Luckily, SD speaks first. “The questions are rather intensive..”

Rose thinks she catches on. These screenings sounded like interrogations. “What kind of questions did they ask you?”

“You know, asking if I knew QC-6532. If I know anything about a…” SD cuts herself off, looking over their shoulders, worried she might be heard. “A Rebellion amongst us.”

“And is there?” Finn asks a little too anxiously.

Suddenly, SD backs up a bit, a little skittish looking. “What did you say your Identification numbers were?”

Rose and Finn look to each other quickly before looking all around them. If SD was the only one around and the only one they have come across, they knew they could take her out if their suspicions were wrong. But there was something strangely childish and hopeful disguised beneath her rather deep voice. Perhaps she was their key inside.

“We didn’t, although I do have one. I haven’t gone by it in a while though,” Finn says.

He walks forward, searching for a door, a closet, anything. Anything to offer more privacy than the open halls where he’s paranoid they’ve said too much. Rose follows him, encouraging SD to follow. Her head swivels on her shoulders again while she looks around before following them. They duck into a utility closet, the only light is from the dim light of the shelves.

Finn waits until the door is closed and then he takes off his helmet, knowing if things take a wrong turn, Rose would cover him. But it doesn’t. He takes off his helmet and the other trooper gasps.

“I was once FN-2187, but now I go by-”

“Finn. You’re Finn. _The Finn_.”

Finn bumps Rose’s shoulder, obviously glad to be referred to as “The Finn” once more. Rose takes off her helmet too, her hair flipping back out like a spring that frames her face. The trooper gasps again, realizing these two troopers were very much not who she thought them to be.

“SD? Is there an uprising within the First Order. Are there more like QC who want this to be over?” Rose asks her quietly.

SD is quiet for a moment. But then suddenly she settles her blaster on the shelf and takes her own helmet off. Her face is revealed to them in the low light of the closet. She’s a young girl with a shaved head. Probably a little younger than them.

“There is. There are more of us. It’s why I was nervous in the screening. I thought for sure they would suspect me. I’ve never thought I was supposed to be a soldier.”

“This is amazing!” Finn says. “Can you get us to them. To the rest of them? We have a plan. The rest of the Resistance will help, but we need all of your help. We need the Rebellion from the inside to work with us and we might just have a shot against the rest of them.”

SD nods, “Yeah. There’s a meeting tonight. In a few hours. If you can lay low and stay clear of being screened like the rest of us, then I can get you in. As long as you keep the armor on.”

“This is amazing S…” Finn is about to say, realizing he was going to call her by her First Order name. He thinks of Poe suddenly, recalling how in the first moments where he could truly taste freedom, Poe gave him a name.

SD deserves a name too.

Rose holds his arm, “What’s wrong?”

“SD needs a name. We’re not gonna be numbers anymore.”

Rose nods, a small smile on her face as she turns back to the taller girl. “Of course. We’re people, not cargo.” SD smiles a little awkwardly like maybe she hadn’t done it before but Rose smiles back as she thinks of something. “Sadie. We’ll call her Sadie.”

Finn nods, “It’s perfect.”

SD nods, “Sadie,” she tests it out. “I never thought I’d have a real name...thank you,” she whispers.

Rose nods, “This is almost over Sadie. You won’t have to be a soldier when all of this is over. You’ll have the freedom to choose.”

Finn nods in agreement as he grabs Rose’s hand and squeezes tight. “We all will. We’ll all have that choice.”

* * *

 

Xid finds himself in the lower levels. That familiar sensation he felt once before seems to have dimmed. Still, he traces it through the Ascendancy as far as he can.

He couldn’t believe Hux actually listened to him. It was more than he thought possible.

Xid was going to succeed this time and then Soldar would be the one cast aside. In fact, all of the knights would be.

Hux would realize he was the only competent one among them. Even if they possessed power, they were too foolish to do anything with it. That was obvious given that they weren’t here. They didn’t sense what he could.

Further down he goes, holding fast to that familiar aroma that he thinks he recalls from Batuu of all places. He wonders at first who it could have been. Batuu was riddled to the brim with seedy beings, all who could have been paid off to help Kylo.

He knows it isn’t that togruta woman he killed. Even if she was alive, she was too old to do anything as daring as this.

His thoughts are interrupted as he finds a small craft hidden within the main ventilation system. It’s the main room, large enough to land something like this, but still, Xid wonders how it could have gotten aboard without notice.

He approaches, drawing his saber though he senses no one inside. As the hatch releases, Xid runs his hands along the craft, that familiar feeling spiking as he knows he’s found what he’s searching for.

“Hah, fools,” he chuckles quietly to himself. They left it unattended and unlocked. And then as he looks to the navi-comp, he realized they left it untouched. Wherever they arrived from would still be saved in the data logs.

He could trace it back to its source. And if these beings were working with Kylo, it was likely the child was there as well.

That definitely held the promise of promotion. To return with the spawn in hand.

He looks at the coordinates left behind in the navigations and smirks as he realizes where it had come from.

Arkanis.

* * *

DT-4906 is running to the hangar. He was summoned by Master Xid to join him on a rather impromptu mission, encouraged by the Supreme Leader himself.

Admittedly, that was what Xid had said last time DT followed him into battle to Takodana, the day they chased down the girl but found nothing but that midwife droid.

Now it seemed Xid thought they had a chance again, though DT was unsure what. Now that Kylo had surrendered and the woman had been imprisoned for a matter of days, the only thing DT could think of that was left was the child itself.

DId Xid find it? Is that where they were going?

If Xid has found the child and they return with it, they would be held in the highest degree. With the youngest and possibly most dangerous generation apprehended before it had the chance to train, it would be snuffed out forever and the First Order would have limited threats left to strike them.

It sounded like insurance. Insurance that in a few decades from now, the little bastard wouldn’t come looking for revenge.

He tries not to get ahead of himself though, Xid has yet to reveal the nature of their outing.

But as he strides into the hangar though and meets Xid on a shuttle similar to the one they took to Takodana, Xid reveals they were headed for Arkanis. The place he believed the child to be hidden.

“We’ll find it, bring it back here, and then hope really will die out. When these people see that the child has been found, we will have won and the galaxy will be thanking us.”

“How do you know about this, sir? How do you know to go to Arkanis.”

“I found a small craft that must have snuck in when Kylo arrived. He was the distraction. And although he’s apprehended, he isn’t alone. Something else is going on.”

“Doesn’t that mean there’s someone lurking around on board? Shouldn’t we notify someone to be on the lookout for them?”

Xid waves it off, “Let them deal with it. We can’t do all the work. Besides, the ship won’t be going anywhere until we get back. Hux assured me of that,” Xid lies slightly, trying not to look at the chrono that tells him he has just over eight hours left until Hux heads for Coruscant.

He actually would prefer something does transpire in his absence. When Hux sees just how much Soldar misses, he will be relieved to have Xid return. He is the only one capable of fixing this mess, but Xid would prefer if there was a mess to come back to first. Or at least let Soldar take the reigns to start one.

Today would be one of change.

Both Xid and DT-4906 know that as the shuttle is thrust into lightspeed and their on their way to the miserable planet of Arkanis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter I kept thinking of the Dude in the Big Lebowski when he says, "This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous," because this is just the beginning to the clash of the storylines. The true clusterfuck that's been inevitable for some time.
> 
> This story consumes too much of my time and sanity and to be honest I'm looking forward to the end.
> 
> I hate me too...*whispers like a creeper*but you know I love you.
> 
> <3!!


	37. Stolen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The odyssey of "who threw this much shit in the fan" continues. 
> 
> Stay strong, babes.
> 
> <3<3<3!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's literally nothing cheerful about this chapter. Just stress and sadness. 
> 
> And to stress you out further, I'll just leave this "WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH" sign here so you can decide what you want to do for this chapter. (Hint: it isn't Ben, Rey or Lorelei if that helps you breathe a little).

* * *

Xid and DT-4906 enter Arkanis’s atmosphere, following after the coordinates Xid had copied from the craft he found on the Ascendancy. “Nearly there,” Xid announces.

“Kriff, this place is dreary looking,” DT remarks and Xid hums in agreement. “I can see why Hux avoids it.”

Xid’s interest is suddenly peaked. “Hux?” he asks curiously, turning to face the death trooper. Why would Hux avoid confrontation with Arkanis, aside from the obvious?

The death trooper nods. “Yeah. He was born here, at least that’s what I heard. Guess his father got some woman pregnant, but he was married to someone else at the time.”

“Interesting. Is that common knowledge?”

  
DT shrugs. “Common enough if you know who to ask.”

“So Kylo would know that then?”

“I imagine so,” DT shrugs.

Xid chuckles, thinking that if Kylo knew Hux would steer clear of his home planet, Arkanis just got a lot more interesting.

The computer rings with their near arrival and Xid smirks when he sees a series of structures on the horizon.

Something was definitely here.

“We’re landing, now,” Xid tells him, beginning their descent.

“Smart,” DT remarks, taking his meaning. DT was a death trooper. He knew being covert was a smart tactic when you had an army of two and an undetermined number of opponents.

* * *

 

Malla finally got Lorelei to eat something. She had been very fussy and stubborn since Ben left. It was strange to see the little girl in such a state. Even in the past few days, Ben seemed to calm her in a way that Malla could not do now.

It fills her with doubt and worry. She refused to think Ben and Rey would not return, but if they didn’t, Malla already felt like a failure to the girl. How can she help her?

At least now, Malla got her to eat something. She didn’t eat as much as Malla would have wished, but she remembers that she is a human baby. She isn’t like little Waroo was when he was a cub. The little wookiee would eat just about anything he could chew and Malla supposes that she should be grateful Lorelei’s teeth aren’t totally grown in yet.

2-1B muses from where he’s standing beside Malla. “She might need rest soon. This has been exhausting for her to be separated from both her parents. She’s not quite used to not having them around, even if she is comfortable with you.”

Malla knows he’s trying to help, but holds back a groan. “You’re right. I’ll try to get her to sleep.”

They were staying in the medbay. Malla felt it would be safest, just in case Lei had another one of those outbursts, 2-1B would be there to help her. However, all he had done so far was act a little overbearing and Malla was getting a little tired of it and she encourages him to deactivate which he does.

Poe walks in just then, a tray of food in his hands. “Hey, how’s she doing?”

“She finished eating. She’ll need rest soon.”

“Well, here’s some more food options. I thought you might be hungry too.”

Despite Malla being distracted with worried thoughts all day, she realizes now she’s starving.

“Thank you, Poe,” she groans and he gives her one of her cheesy smiles.

“Here, take what you want. I already ate some stuff on the way over.”

“Alright,” she answers, adjusting Lorelei in her arms so she can get an arm free. But then she gets an idea. “Poe? Can you hold her while I eat?”

Poe’s eyes go wide. “I-I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Malla growls at him a little and he sets down the tray quickly. Malla’s growl scaring him just enough to abide by her request. “Fine, okay. Sorry.”

It’s awkward at first as she tries to coach him where to put his arms. She has him sit up on one of the exam tables so she can place the baby in his hold. Poe tries not to roll his eyes as his feet hang off the table and Malla talks to him like he’s a little kid. But then she places the baby in his arms.

“Whoa,” he breathes. She’s somehow surprisingly heavy and light at the same time. It’s strange at first and Poe feels a little tense.

_What if I drop her? What if I hurt her again?_

But then the little girl looks at him, her own brows furrowed and confused, but not crying. Just a little curious looking. “Hey, little lady.” He gets a gurgle in return.

Malla chuffs in laughter while she peruses the items on the tray. The little baby squeaks as she inspects the man, her hands playing with the collar of his jacket. “Wow, she likes you.”

“Yeah, I guess her face recognition hasn’t kicked in yet. If she remembered who I really was I’m sure she’d be really upset,” Poe mumbles, trying not to get swept up in her cute little features.

Malla sees right through him. “Poe, will you stop trying to come up with excuses and just shut up?”

Poe chuckles, “Alright, fine.” He looks down again and the little girl is just watching him. “I guess she doesn’t hate me, after all.”

“Well, she is very forgiving,” Malla tells him. Smiling as she thinks of Lei’s mother who was also very forgiving.

“She looks so much like both of them. It’s weird.”  
“It is not weird!” Malla defends.

“No, I didn't mean ‘weird’ weird. You just hear how people always say the baby looks like the parents but I had no idea what they were talking about. I didn’t think a baby could look like anything but maybe other babies. A baby is a baby.”

Malla shakes her head, chuckling to herself. She doubts Poe has even seen that many babies to hold up much comparison.

“But damn, she’s something else, isn’t she?” he looks to Malla.

“She really is,” Malla agrees, running a paw past the little girl’s head. She barely registers the sound of a door sliding open.

“She really is.”  Malla goes rigid when a foreign voice startles her. It’s cold and mechanical. They both turn to see a dark figure standing in the doorway. He steps forward, an unsettling chuckle filling the air. “She is something alright. She’s the spawn of a traitor, and I’ve come to collect her.”

The sudden dark presence is strangely familiar to Lorelei. The last time she felt something like this, her mother was taken from her. It’s enough to send her into wails as she squirms in Poe's arms, terrified.

“And she’s far too loud,” the sinister man says as he ignites a red saber at his side.

He’s one of the knights.

Malla pushes Poe behind her, trying to keep him and the little girl away as she snarls at the knight.

“Whoa there, wookiee. Slow down. I don’t speak savage.”

Malla roars, more ferocious than Poe had ever seen her. Quickly, she lifts up one of the control panels and throwing it at the masked man. The man holds out his hand and the panel stills in the air.

Shit.

“Poe, get out of here!” Malla roars behind her, throwing anything that isn’t nailed down.

Poe’s blood is pumping as he thinks of reaching for his blaster but as the little girl cries in his arms, he knows he needs to get her to safety. He needs to get to his x-wing, now!

He runs out the back, slipping through the window, carefully trying to keep the baby tucked tight into his chest.

Malla knows that as Poe bolts off, she won’t live to see him again. She just hopes Poe can get Lorelei away in time. _He needs to!_

* * *

Xid lets the pilot go, thinking he’s got a head start. He humors the wookiee for some time, holding things off in the air or slicing them with his lightsaber. He waits for her to tire herself out, recalling the time he exerted all his energy when he fought the girl on Lah’mu.

True it had been foolish and too ambitious for him, but that was also because Soldar had fallen to the task. It is the only rational explanation as to why Lah’mu turned out the way it did. Had Xid been more coherent and less exhausted after months of ruthless searching, he would have been successful then.

But no matter. He’s about to apprehend his last fugitive. The child. Once he brings it back, his problems will be over.

He must be distracted because he fails to suspend the exam table the wookiee hurls at him and it knocks him back before he can slice it with his saber. He grunts from where he is sprawled on the ground. “You fucking Kashyyykian slag!”

The wookiee roars louder and more ferocious than before and the slobber from her teeth spews all over his helmet.

Looking above the wookiee's head, he sees a massive beam holding up the ceiling. Quickly, he summons his energy and smirks as it begins to crumble, slowly crashing over the creature’s massive form.

The roars are silenced beneath the rubble as she is crushed by the immense weight. Dead.

Victorious, Xid runs after the pilot.

* * *

“Hang in there, kid. It’ll be okay!”

Poe is jogging his way to the hangar, trying not to think about why the noises have stopped from the medbay. Malla’s roars have ceased.

Poe tries to focus on moving forward. He rejoices slightly when he sees his x-wing. What he wouldn’t give to have BB-8 here to speed ahead and start it up.

Poe curses under his breath as the stretch between him and the spacecraft seems much further than usual.

 _Sh_ _it. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

Poe doesn’t recall ever being this scared before. Usually, a circumstance like this was common for him. Against all odds. His life on the line. He usually craved it. But now, his heart was beating out of his chest because he knows if he goes down, Lorelei goes down with him.

Her life was literally in his hands.

And then, as if his thoughts were projected to the entire galaxy, Poe hears a blast echo out and suddenly he’s falling to the ground. He’s shot in the leg and panics as the ground is getting closer and closer. He curls himself around the baby, trying to shield her from the impending collision with the ground. He groans out in pain as his back meets the hard surface. “Fuck,” he breathes out, looking down to see it’s already started bleeding, quickly. He runs his hands past Lorelei’s back. She’s terrified, but she didn't get hurt. That’s all that matters.

Now who the fuck shot him?

A pair of black boots steps near him and Poe looks up to see a stormtrooper clad in all black, and a blaster pointed at his face. “He’s not going anywhere.”

Xid approaches DT-4906 who stands over the pilot, the child screaming against him. He kneels, the singe of his saber burning near to the wound on the man’s leg. The pilot flinches, holding tighter to the bundle against his chest.

“Give me the child and I'll let you live.”

Poe speaks through his teeth, through the pain. “No!”

DT laughs, shaking his head. “You do realize when we kill you, we’ll take the child anyway.”

“I don’t give up so easily.” Poe’s hand sneaks to his hip where his blaster is being kept. He’s not giving up now. He told Ben he was going to help protect Lorelei and he would give his life for this kid.

It's strange how quickly he was ready to give anything for the little girl. She had that effect on people. 

Xid tsks at Poe in shame, irritated with his confidence. He rises for a moment, slowly placing his boot in the meat of the bleeding wound of the man’s leg, earning him some hesitant groans and sobs.

“You see, it seems a little foolish to have this whole base for only two Resistance members," Soldar muses. The rest of the Resistance wasn't there. Which, given the craft on the Ascendancy, meant something else was stirring. If Kylo left the child here, he's working with the Resistance. 

A most ridiculous concept and obviously, their combined efforts are already failing.

Still, he continues to mock the bleeding man on the ground. "You must like the quiet around here, except for the little brat.” Xid puts a little more pressure on the man’s wound, watching as silent tears stream from his eyes. “But you’ve been found. So, it looks like you do give up that easily. And now, you’re going to hand over the child to me!” XId shouts.

Poe pulls the blaster from his side, “Never!” Poe fires the blaster but the plasma freezes in the air before swiftly changing course and striking DT-4906 in the chest. As the trooper falls back, silent and unmoving, Xid smacks the blaster out of Dameron’s hand.

Xid is frustrated to see DT go down, but when the beam rushed towards himself, he knew he couldn’t fire it back at the pilot. He would have hit the child. 

Poe watches in slow motion as the knight kneels over him again, his boot deep in the wound of his leg. Poe cries now, knowing he was going to die. Still, he clings to the crying baby. He wants to apoogize to Malla for not getting her out in time. He wants to apologize to Ben and Rey who's daughter he thought he could protect. He wants to apologize to Lorelei, for failing to keep her safe. 

The poor kid never caught a break it seemed.

And as Poe sees the saber slowly get closer and closer to his body, he closes his eyes. Of all the times he thought he was going to die, he never expected it to be like this. He always thought it would be in in a fiery explosion of his x-wing. Something dashing and so heroic they would name flying maneuvers after him.

That seems so trivial now. So childish.

“I’m sorry, kid,” he rasps.  

Xid snarls, barely making out the pilot’s words. Tired of his continued existence, he strikes him under his arm. The red saber spearing him from his side through his body, cautious of the child on his chest. The pilot groans as he dies, his arms slowly going limp around the frantic child.

Finally.

“Alright, you little shit. Come here.” Xid pulls a small capsule from his robes and injects the child with a pathetically small dose of the serum. He knows there’s no way she has the force at this age, but he needed to shut her up somehow.

He looks to his chrono on his wrist. He doesn’t have long before Hux will send the Ascendancy to Coruscant. He’ll have to call ahead and tell him he was coming...

_With the child._

Xid had completed the mission. He looks to DT-4906 who is lying dead on the ground, near where the pilot died in a similar manner. Xid didn’t mean to hit the death trooper, but at this point, he had been more of a loose end. Better DT than himself, the knight figures.

Unfortunately, it now meant Xid had to hold the spawn himself.

“Ugh, disgusting,” he mutters to himself, awkwardly holding the child under her arms and keeping her over a foot away from him.

* * *

Azmo chuckles as he plays with the various possibilities in the control room. Dono walks in just then, “Who are you messing with?”

“The girl. Kylo hasn’t woken up yet.”

“What are you doing with her then?” Dono asks, her interest peaked.

“I’m screwing with the temperature regulators. It’s near freezing in there. Look you can see her breath.”

Dono laughs as Azmo adjusts the temperature even further and the girl shivers from where she’s huddled on the floor. “Looks like the desert rat doesn’t know how to deal with the cold,” she laughs.

* * *

Rey hadn’t moved from where she was pressed against the wall. Her ears had been seeking frantically for Ben’s voice. But it had been all too quiet and Rey had failed to notice just how cold she was.

She couldn’t feel her toes anymore and the thin robe she wore wasn’t offering much coverage.

And it was so quiet. She can hear the faint beating of her heart, not as concerned as she should be at how slow it was becoming.

* * *

Ben jolts awake in a dark room. He blinks his eyes, frantically trying to adjust until he can see something. Anything.

It takes a moment but Ben’s eyes focus on a figure standing before him. “Comfortable?”

Ben recognizes him instantly, “Soldar.” Ben’s voice sounds hoarse and strained and he realizes he has a collar around his neck and as he moves, chains rattle behind him and his hands are bound in force suppressant cuffs behind his back.

“Yeah, sorry about the collar but turns out you really are too big for the restraining tables. At least your little lady was much easier in that aspect.”

“Fuck off.”

Soldar throws his hands up, in false surrender. “Whoa, a little hostile there. You sound kind of tense. Is something on your mind?”

“Where is she?” Ben hisses through his teeth.

Soldar groans, “You supposed chivalry is now just exhausting stupidity. Did you really think coming here was going to work? You’re more whipped for this sand rat than I thought. You must miss her terribly.” Soldar rests a hand over his chest in false sympathy.

Ben looks at him, trying to keep his expression blank. “I do. Probably similar to how you miss the hand she cut off.”

Soldar’s metal fingers curl into a fist and he strikes Ben across the face. “Shut the fuck up.”

“And lost your saber.”

That earns him another punch, “I said shut up, Kylo!”

Ben gives a humorless chuckle, “You think because you punch me I’ll do as you say?”

Soldar is about to punch him again when he stops himself, recalling the remote in his robe. “You’re right, I’ll have to think of something else.” He presses the button and the collar surges with electricity.

Ben collapses to the floor, his face falling hard against the steel with his hands bound behind his back.  He convulses while the electricity courses through him until Soldar relents, releasing the button. His cruel laughter is all Ben can hear.

He groans weakly as he tries to lift his head but the room is still fairly dark and he can’t see much.

“Yeah, the sand rat didn’t like that one either. But it shut her up pretty good. She broke hers though, poor thing. We’ve had to think of different ways to get through to her.”

Ben stills, blood rushing past his ears as Soldar’s words wash over him. “Where is she? What are you doing to her?”

Soldar chuckles again, shaking his head. “You know, I really don’t get you. I can’t for the life of me picture you as the domestic type. I don’t understand what it is about that woman that entices you. You’re desperately concerned for her and I can’t fathom where, in your black pitiful soul, that comes from.”

Ben tries to shut him out, his mind searching for Rey or Lorelei to keep him balanced, but without the force, he can’t feel them and it makes him falter. Soldar’s words strike him anyway and Ben wishes he would just electrocute him again.

“I mean really? That scrawny thing?”

Ben’s jaw tenses, his blood boiling as Soldar insults Rey as blatantly as he does.

_He’s doing this on purpose. He’s trying to get to you, don’t let him._

“And that leads me to a whole new disturbing train of thought. How could you have had a child with that woman?”

Ben’s fists tighten behind his back. “Don’t,” he warns Soldar.

“A child. I’m sure it has power, no doubt-”  
Ben is fuming and tries to cut him off. “Shut up!”

Soldar ignores him and continues. “But you as a father baffles me. That’s got to put a lot of pressure on a child,” Soldar steps a little closer, kneeling so he’s right before Ben again. Ben who is trying not to see red. “Which is why...when I find the little spawn, I’ll be sure to let her know she can be different from her father. She can become the Vader prodigy you were too weak to be. I will teach her what she needs to know, especially about what filthy creatures her parents were.”

Ben can’t help it, he spits back. “My daughter will never answer to you!”

Soldar shrugs, “We’ll see how she feels about it when we find her. Given that you’ll be long dead, I guess you don’t get a say.”

Ben pushes to his feet, wanting to kill the man. “You fucking-Ahh!” Ben crashes back to the floor as Soldar sets the collar off again. It goes on longer than before.

Soldar is laughing when suddenly, a device on his wrist alerts him with something and he turns for the door.

“Alright, well, I have to go now. We have a full house this weekend and I need to be equitable to all our guests,” Soldar taunts him.

“Soldar!” Ben tries to stop him from leaving. If he leaves he might go to Rey and he would rather Soldar remain here and torture him. “Soldar!”

But it’s too late. The door closes and the lights go out, leaving Ben convulsing from the aftershocks in the pitch black.

He tries to swallow the sobs in his throat as he thinks of Rey. She was so close and still so far.

As tears threatened to spill over, he tries to think of Lorelei. At least she was safe.

At least she was okay.

* * *

Soldar leaves Kylo slumped on the floor before rushing to the control room.

“What’s going on, who notified me?” he asks the knights that have gathered in there.

“I did. Hux told us to meet him in the throne room soon,” Iella looks at him.

“Well, it better explain why the fuck we’re still in close distance of Ryloth. I can smell it from here. I thought we were going to Coruscant,” Soldar complains.

“You’re telling me. We’ve been here forever. I’m actually getting bored of freezing the desert bitch. Can we freeze Kylo now?” Azmo tells him.

Soldar doesn’t answer, his senses suddenly frazzled and confused as he takes another look at the others. Azmo. Dono. Iella. Nourdi.

And no Xid.

“Where the fuck is Xid?”

They all look around as if they were just noticing his absence as well.

Iella speaks first, groaning. “He’s probably just sulking somewhere. Probably trying to trade arms with a droid so Hux thinks he’s cool.” This earns her a round of laughs from everyone but Soldar, who is suddenly rigid with suspicion.

“Xid didn’t help us bring Kylo down. And that was hours ago. What the fuck has he been doing?”

“Beats me,” Nourdi shrugs.

Soldar tries to shake it off. If Xid doesn’t appear at Hux’s meeting, it will only further his already shaky reputation.

Soldar decides to let him fall behind. If he was going to continue being this irritating, then maybe it was time Hux had him removed from the knights.

“Very well, let’s head up now. Best to not keep him waiting.”

“What about Kylo? I was going to freeze him too,” Azmo whines.

“Real original, Ass-mo,” Iella taunts him.

“I told you not to call me that!”

Soldar rolls his eyes beneath his helmet. _Kriff, they’re fucking children._

Soldar turns to the panel that controls Kylo’s room, cranking up the heat. “There, now he’ll sweat his ass off and she’s got frostbite. Everybody happy?”

* * *

It takes Maz a long while to navigate just where she was and where Ben could have possibly been taken. She hopes, wherever she is, that Rey is in close range too.

She keeps in contact with Finn and Rose who seem to have found a little luck, finally.

They’re laying low for now, but they’ve found a young woman they can trust, hopefully.

They’re waiting to attend some meeting with the rebellion. At this point, everyone was waiting for lightspeed.

Ben had surrendered hours ago, they had no other business in the outer rim. Everyone expected Hux to take them back to Coruscant.

So why hadn’t they moved?

It was unsettling. Their plan relied on Hux’s predictability. If he didn’t take them to Coruscant, then this just got a lot more complicated.

Maz’s mind already flashes forward, thinking of the flaws in all the possible back up plans. Sure the Resistance could find them wherever they ended up being, but part of the advantage was already combining efforts with the overturned forces on Coruscant. The Resistance’s crafts and transports were specks of dust next to the Ascendancy. It would be too risky.

Maz takes a moment to calm herself. To breathe a little easier. There was plenty of air in the ventilation shafts where she had been crawling but she couldn’t seem to catch enough of it. Her heart was still beating a little too fast.

It was strange. Although this was dangerous, Maz had done any number of “dangerous” and foolish things in her lifetime. Risk always gave her a rush. It was why she’s led the life she has. A pirate’s life.

But this didn’t feel like a job. It didn’t feel like all those other times she jumped into the line of fire and threw caution to the wind.

No. Now was different. It was terrifying. Terrifying because it was Ben, Rey, and Lorelei. The little family that meant the galaxy to her and she couldn’t stomach if anything happened to them. To even fathom the concept that they wouldn’t get through this makes her feel nauseous.

This precious family that she needed to keep safe.

At least Lorelei will be okay.

That is what Maz tries to cling to. No matter what happens, Lorelei was safe. Safe in the warm arms of a wookiee.

* * *

Soldar stands at full attention with the other knights as they stand before Hux in his throne room. “You summoned us, Supreme Leader?” Soldar asks.

Hux looks down at them, a look of dissatisfaction on his face. “I notice one among you is missing. Who could it be?” he asks, his tone laced with sarcasm.

“Master Xid, sir,” Soldar says begrudgingly. “We haven’t seen him since Kylo arrived. We haven’t even heard from him actually.”

Hux picks up the judgment in the knight’s tone. The way he grovels.

“Well, I _have_ heard from him. It is why I have summoned you here when I did.”

They all look up at Hux in confusion. “Sir?” Soldar asks.

“I’m sure you’re curious as to why we have yet to leave for Coruscant.” He takes their silence as their answer. “You see, after what happened with that stormtrooper, I know that if I return to Coruscant with two out of three fugitives, the galaxy will still hold hope. Hope for that filthy offspring of theirs. But when Kylo arrived, obviously the child was not with him. Where would he have left it? Where could it be? As long as that child lives, hope carries on. If we want to extinguish this spark now, we need to eliminate the looming threat of having their child hiding somewhere. We need insurance.”

“Sir?”

“So, Master Xid came to me, shortly after Kylo’s arrival. He suspected something was wrong. Something none of you picked up on. He confronted me on the matter and I gave him a generous amount of time to chase it out.”

Soldar is baffled and on the verge of aggressive to hear Hux praising Xid in such a way. “To chase what out, sir?”

He’s about to answer them when Lennox speaks through the transmitter on the armrest of Hux’s throne. “Master Xid is coming up in the lift, sir. He’s accompanied by a droid. He didn’t wish to hold it any longer.”

“Didn’t wish to hold what any longer?” Azmo asks under his breath but Dono shushes him.

“Where did he go?” Iella whispers next but Nourdi shushes her as well. Soldar tries to keep his composure, overwhelmed with his impatience for everything in that moment. Both the knights and Hux’s strange behavior.

“Very well, I see. Is everything else ready then?” Hux asks the small blue hologram.

“Yes, sir. We can begin the trip to Coruscant now if you would like. I just need your approval and we’ll be off.”

“Then you have it. I want us there quicker than it took to get here.”

“Of course. We’ll do what we can.”

“I expect you will, Lennox.” Hux rises, standing and striding forward. Everyone’s feet vibrate as they feel the ship take off into hyperspace. Finally on their way back to the core worlds. Hux doesn’t let the distraction phase him though. He keeps walking forward, gesturing for the knights to follow him as he steps closer to the repulsorlift where they had all entered.

“I’d like to announce the new official Master of my royal guard.” Hux waits for the doors to reveal Xid standing on the other side. Accompanied by a droid.

But in the arms of the droid is a small child. The child they had been after all this time.

_He found it._

Hux’s mouth quirks up in amusement as he sees the child for himself, looking to the knight in the repulsorlift with pride. “Your new leader, Master Xid.”

Xid smirks from beneath his mask as he senses the sheer shock and fury radiating from his fellow knights. “Thank you, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. A lot just happened! Lorelei has been kidnapped. Poe and Malla died trying to protect her. When Ben and Rey hear about this they're gonna flip their shit. 
> 
> I'm sorry if this is all going a little fast and frantic. I'm trying to fit everything in and it all seems so crazy at the end of the chapters and I'll be glad if any of this makes sense. Thank you for sticking around!
> 
> That being said, we're nearing the end here folks. I'm thinking another five chapter or so. I don't want to set anything in stone though because I can't commit to any specific number. I'll just write until I feel the story is finished.


	38. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our First Order Rebellion babes rise up finally. The asshole knights continue to be assholes. Hux is a hoe. Mitaka takes a stand. Maz is the ultimate pirate grandma vent crawler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got a little lengthy as we are constantly changing perspectives and plot lines so everything lines up. 
> 
> Translation: It's a fucking mess. 
> 
> As usual, I've read it too many times but I know it's still riddled with errors. I'll just post it anyway though because I'm impatient.
> 
> Love you!!

The child is taken to a private room where she can be placed with the droids who will tend to her. She has yet to wake from the sedative and annoy everyone with her insistent whining.

Xid doesn’t give it much thought though. Whatever became of the child now only relied on the possibility if she was force sensitive or not. That wouldn’t emerge though for several years at least though and Xid hardly has the patience to care for a baby, as he already knows the rest of the knights lack that quality as well.

They couldn’t even babysit themselves.

At this point, however, Xid is more focused on the frustrated energy of the other said knights. He wanted to remember this moment.

“Where did you find it, Xid?” Iella asks him. Her tone judgemental as usual.

“Arkanis,” he says casually.

At the mention of the planet where he was born, Hux looks to him somewhat astonished. “Ren hid the child on Arkanis? Why in the blazes would he leave it there?”

“It was on a Resistance base. Protected only by a wookiee and a pilot. Dameron, I believe.”

“Dameron? The Resistance?” Hux exclaims. He could hardly believe it. There must be some mistake. Ren would never have resorted to fraternize with them.

Soldar narrows his eyes beneath his mask. “How did you know to search on Arkanis and just happen to stumble upon a secret Resistance base?” he questions him.

Xid freezes for a moment, remaining cautious. If he reveals that he left without disclosing the craft he found in the shafts, Hux wouldn’t like that. And since Xid was just bestowed Master, he couldn't jeopardize it. “My senses and intuitions heightened when Kylo boarded. All I needed was his presence and I could trace where he had come from. Simple really.”

Or rather than simple, it sounds like the perfect amount of bullshit he needed.

Soldar is unconvinced. Xid was more powerful than Soldar was. Their months on Batuu seemingly proved that. But Soldar doubts he is that powerful. He was hiding something.

Hux seems all the more impressed though.

The Supreme Leader smirks. “You will need to teach your fellow Knights of these abilities. I can’t have only one capable fighter to guard my throne. I would hope now that we all know our place, we will all try to be a little more competent.” Hux’s eyes settle on Soldar, unimpressed with his current track record. The incident with the stormtrooper was unforgivable really. It would have gotten him executed if he was in any other position.

Xid feels how the ship vibrates beneath his boots. He knows now that whoever was roaming the ship, they would likely try to infiltrate their way into the rehabilitation level and release Kylo and the girl. At which point, Xid imagines, he would be the one to triumph once again. He would apprehend whoever Kylo persuaded to join him on such a suicide mission.

So, knowing that lightspeed was a more advantageous time for their lurking opponents to act, Xid excuses himself. There was much to do. Hux understands this, praising his actions once again.

The rest of the knights file out as well, remaining silent in the repulsorlift as they descend. The quiet is laced with aggression they all sense but do not address.

* * *

Finn and Rose rejoiced at the feeling of lightspeed take effect. As soon as they felt the familiar surge and hum, Sadie guided them through the halls, into a lift, and further down. Much farther down.

Stormtrooper quarters were stationed in the below levels. Sadie describes how of all the ships she's lived on in her life, the Ascendancy was possibly the crudest. Hux was determined to give the Ascendancy a certain extravagance maintained only at the levels he would be visiting. Everything else wasn’t near as important. The Ascendancy had a certain gilded elegance that only extended as far as Hux allowed. A rushed job that was a side effect of Hux's demands for the Ascendancy's swift completion. 

As they descend lower and Finn sees for himself their conditions, he doesn’t doubt it. Hux has made a palace for himself up above and slums for the stormtroopers down below. Although the ship has only been active for a short duration of time, it was evident that the conditions were grim.

They pass by sleep accommodations that reach concerning heights as the beds are stacked one on top of the other. The mattresses are thin and the frames are compact. Hardly enough space to actually get some substantial rest.

Some that were trying to sleep were visibly shivering as the temperature regulators were kept below average. The coldness of space seeping through.

It was devastating.

“Act natural. Cameras are still kept in these hallways.” They wade into the sleeping quarters, Finn constantly checking beside him to make sure Rose was still there. Paranoid he would lose her in this sea of troopers. She’s always there though. Her pace a little frenzied as she tries to keep up. He wishes he could hold her hand but he knows that’s beyond acting natural.

“Alright. In a few minutes, the shifts will change and more troopers will be coming down just as some will leave. RC-9885 is one of us, and she’ll help us get you two where you need to be. The meeting will give you the chance to reveal your plan and whatever they have in mind. They'll listen.”

It's reassuring to hear, but it has yet to be done. There was still so much at stake and Rose thinks of what Ben and Rey must be going through just now. She steps closer to Sadie, “Do you know what level they’re keeping Ben and Rey?”

Sadie turns to them, in slight confusion. “You mean Kylo?”

Rose nods, realizing the name Ben was foreign to her. “Yeah, Kylo and Rey. Do you know where they are?”

Sadie pulls them to the side, “They’ll be on the rehabilitation level. I’m not permitted on that level, though. I think only the Knights are, actually.”

Rose nods, “Alright, I’ll tell Maz.”

* * *

Maz feels like she’s just fumbling. The ship was massive and there’s no way she’s going to find them at this rate. So when her comlink chirps with a message, she is pleased to see it’s from Finn and Rose, hoping their streak of luck continued.

“Rose?”

_“Maz, we know what level they’re on.”_

“Oh, kriff. I love you, Tico. I’ve been wandering like a fragging idiot here. Give me a number.”

_“Level 9,972.”_

Maz rolls her eyes, “Oh of course. Good old level 9,972. That was my next guess,” she jokes.

She grunts as she tries to wedge herself around, making her way for the elevator shaft where she hopes she’ll finally find some luck. “Stay sharp, kids. I’ll let you know when I’ve got them and we’ll make our way to you.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

* * *

Xid walks past Kylo’s cell, tempted to go in but deciding it was best to maintain the entire level. To keep it secure. He had no idea how many people he was dealing with here or how many the Resistance managed to get on board. As much as he would love to barge in and let him know just how easy it was to track down his spawn, he knows it can wait. He needs to stay sharp and see what else was waiting for him here.

He’s rounding a corner when he is pulled back by a firm hand and given the mechanic grip it has, he already knows it’s Soldar.

“Subtle, Soldar.”

“Shut up,” Soldar snaps back. “How did you really know to go to Arkanis? This is bullshit, I know it. You’re hiding something!”

“Intuition, really. Perhaps the same thing that called me to Batuu a few months ago which inevitably led us to the girl. Or should I say led you to the girl and led me to a new mission of where I needed to reassert myself into the position you stole. A position you are far from capable of handling. Almost literally,” he scoffs, implying the loss of his hand.

“Oh, fuck off. You think you can lead us? The rest of the knights despise you. They don’t even listen to me and they don’t hate me near as much as they hate you.”

“We all hate each other. We always have. That’s what’s made the knights a fucking joke. Until now. I’m about to change all that. And I’m glad you’ve been around to see what the action looks like. To get a taste of power. Because that’s all over and knowing you and the rest of you shit heads that call yourselves knights, you won’t make it a week before you’re just the muck I’m wiping off my boots. You're all gonna fall behind.” Xid yanks his arm free of Soldar’s hold. “So I suggest you take it down a notch when you try to threaten your superiors. You’ll notice that the Supreme Leader and myself don’t take kindly to threats.”

Soldar watches him walk away. He tells himself he lets Xid go, but he knows well enough, his words rang true.

* * *

Nourdi was in the control room. He had seen the conversation between Xid and Soldar, watching as they snapped at each other in the hall.

_“We all hate each other. We always have.”_ Xid had said.

And that was true. Nourdi never thought of it that way, but they all hated each other. Even when Kylo was around, it wasn’t like they banded together and fought together in any specific way. “The Knights of Ren,” they were just a title. And as Xid says...they were a fucking joke.

And Xid was supposed to be the best of all of them, besides Kylo. But Kylo was currently sweating his ass off in a First Order cell, unknowingly just six feet from his Jedi lover. The false Jedi that was in the process of _freezing_ her ass off.

Normally it would have made him laugh. He laughed at it just a few hours ago.

But it doesn’t make him laugh now. Now he can only think about what’s going to happen to him if Xid decides they’re done. Xid who was now their new master.

Xid who had brought Kylo and Rey’s child to...what? Nourdi is unsure of what happens to her now. By the looks of it, Hux wanted it dead. And if Xid is eager enough to please their Supreme Leader, then he would likely agree. But Soldar had mentioned before how if this child possessed power as her parents do, she could become even more powerful than Vader himself. She could evolve from the mistake that she currently was. She would fight for the First Order. Fight for Hux. Surely that was the ultimate trophy to the man who hated Kylo more than any other. To have his daughter answer to him, to protect him.

And if they train her in the dark, it may be their only defense against Xid’s power. If they wanted to prove their own power, they may have to start somewhere else. Even if it meant raising that spawn.

But what would they do until her powers emerged? She was an infant. Not even a toddler. Her force abilities would not emerge for years, and that’s only if they’re lucky. Nourdi has heard stories before about two force sensitives conceiving a non-sensitive child. Revan and Bastila from the Old Republic come to mind. Both of them were force sensitives and had dabbled back and forth from Jedi to Sith and then back again.

They sounded messy.

Naturally, a child of theirs was doomed to be a disappointment as it grew without the force. He became a politician of some sort if Nourdi recalls correctly.

If this child was without the force there was no sense in keeping it. But if Kylo kept it, surely it had something worth all this nonsense. It was like Hux said. Kylo most likely used this woman to carry on his bloodline. That was the only possible explanation. Kylo wouldn’t have sacrificed his entire life for a woman and child unless he saw value in them. And they all knew the real value was the force.

The whole love aspect of this must have just been an act.

It was obvious. If Rey didn't have the force, Kylo never would have spared her a passing glance. It would have saved them all a lot of trouble.

Azmo, Dono, and Iella come in a moment later. Curious as what has become of it, he asks, “Where are they keeping the child?”

They shrug, not knowing or even caring. “Why should it matter?”

“Because that infant could be worth more than we think.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Iella asks, her usual arrogance present in her tone.

“Hux thinks we’re worthless. That was evident given the little display up in the throne room. And now, it’s clear that Xid thinks we’re expendable...” Nourdi pulls up the clip of Xid yelling at Soldar in the hallway. "We need something to keep us from becoming the muck at the bottom of his boots."

"Fuck them! They don't know shit!" Azmo argues, too ignorant to see the value in Nourdi's words.

Nourdi fires back. “Hux’ll believe anything Xid wants to throw at him because he brought him the third fugitive. Soldar at least brought the girl. Us? We’ve done nothing. If we want to keep breathing, our best bet is if we take that kid. We raise it to be the next Vader that Kylo Ren was too sentimental to become. If we want to stick around, we’ll need to prove something. We need to step up. That or we need to figure out some other way to not get ourselves chucked.”

No one disagrees, but it is also accompanied by a few groans. 

Despite what they all knew what needs to be done, the likelihood of them actually agreeing to something and banding together to raise an apprentice hardly sounds possible given their preferred livelihood. 

Still, to consider their current options seemed crucial when their new official Master expects them to be dead soon enough and their Supreme Leader thought them incompetent.

Iella huffs, stomping her foot like a petulant child. She looks down at him before nearly scraping him out of the seat. “Move!” She takes his place and removes her helmet to look at the screens. The cameras zoomed in on the faces of their prisoners. “If I have to raise their bastard just to keep my rank then I want them to suffer until their last moment.” She adjusts the temperature regulators even more severely than before and laughs to see the effect it has on them.

The others soon join her, chuckling at their misery. 

They all fail to notice, however, that the concerning temperature in the girl's room has plummeted so far it has jammed the locks of the cell. 

* * *

Rey feels hollow. She feels like something has changed though she isn't sure what. Frenzied thoughts of what has become of her family keeping her in a constant state of panic.

The room around her is colder than anything she’s ever felt and she can’t even feel her own body anymore. Everything was numb except for the pain that she felt with the rise and fall of her chest. Her lungs felt like they were freezing over too and it seemed to hurt more every time she inhaled.

Still, she tried to keep her ear pressed against the wall, searching for any traces of Ben she could find.

Anything.

As she listens to the silence, she closes her eyes. Dreaming of warmth and love, far from this despicable ship.

She imagines Lah’mu. Their home. How they used to watch the sunset from the black sand and she would shiver at the brisk chill of the water. That chill held nothing to this cold she experienced now.

Those sunsets on Lah’mu were more beautiful than the endless amount she had witnessed on Jakku. Perhaps because she finally had someone to watch them with. Perhaps because the people themselves were more beautiful than any sunset this galaxy had to offer.

She thinks of how Ben would pull her into his chest when he noticed her shivering. She would find Lorelei’s face already there, burrowed against her father’s massive frame. The most beautiful gummy smile always present as they watched night overcome their home.

She hopes that if she is to die, she can live in that moment forever. Somehow.

* * *

Sadie guides Finn and Rose into a dark hall but not dark enough that they can’t see. It looks like a mess hall actually. And it’s overflowing with stormtroopers. Sadie pulls them in further, getting closer to the center where a few troopers in the middle are standing. She whispers something to one of them and nods before pulling Finn and Rose to join him on the table.

“Hello, my friends. I’m RC-9885. I’m glad to have you with us.” She looks to between them for a moment, settling on Finn, assuming he must be the taller trooper. “Are you really him?”

Rose can only imagine the grin beneath his helmet. She knew he quite enjoyed such praise and she couldn’t blame him. He deserved it. “I’m Finn. Nice to meet you.”

RC nods and looks to Sadie before holding up a hand, the chatter of the other troopers ceasing. She removes her helmet before she speaks. Again, like Sadie, RC is a young woman with short hair. A regulation style for stormtroopers and their constant use of helmets. “Thank you for coming. Much has happened today. Kylo Ren has surrendered to Hux, which I suspected earlier to mean we would only be further away from triumph. But it actually lands us in a more fortunate situation. Our entire time frame has changed.” There are some murmurs that fan out throughout the room. Curiosity evident as they wonder who the two other stormtroopers are.

“SD-9841 stumbled upon our guests today. And although they dress as we do, these are familiar heroes that walk among us. They are going to help us fight for what we know is right.” She turns to Finn and Rose then, giving them a smile as she gestures to their helmets. A silent request for them to remove them.

Rose goes first, her black hair bouncing back to its usual flair. As they see her face, the audience gasps. They know who she is. And if Rose is here, they already know who’s beneath the other helmet.

Finn removes his helmet as does every other trooper in the room, honored to look upon him with their own eyes. The stormtrooper that gave all of them the strength to stand back against the First Order. The trooper that became the rebel.

Some salute him, others gasp. All baffled to know that Finn, FN-2187, stood among them. He was going to fight along with them.

“Thank you,” Finn says with a smile. “It’s comforting to know that so many of you have the courage to fight back. To go against everything we were raised to be. It is because of all of you that we’re going to win this. We’re going to get rid of Hux forever.”

There are cheers that attempt to roar throughout the room but they quickly silence, knowing this meeting needed to remain discrete.

“As you know, the riots on Coruscant continue. Slaves are trying to break free of their barracks at this moment, along with the help of some brave officers that have also defied their orders. But they need help. That is why, the rest of the Resistance is arriving there now, doing what they can to help them. We are headed there now. As you know, with the surrender of Kylo, Hux will be eager to execute both him and Rey.”

Finn looks to Rose before continuing for the next part though. “Which leads me to our mission. Rose and I, we arrived here when Kylo did. He’s been working with the Resistance very closely after Rey was kidnapped.” To this, heads turn and whispers flood the room surprised to hear that Kylo Ren would work willingly with the organization he once had nearly destroyed.

“I know this may sound surprising, but he is loyal and trustworthy and all he wants is to protect his family. He no longer goes by Kylo Ren, but by Ben Solo. Where Kylo Ren was the Supreme Leader and monstrous to some, Ben Solo is my friend. Ben Solo had to play this game for so long, but he kept us safe as long as he could. Now, in this desperate but life-changing time, I ask that today we fight for Ben Solo. We fight for Rey that is as fierce a warrior as she is a mother. We fight for their daughter that deserves to grow up in a galaxy free of this oppression. Free of the terrors that Hux desires to inflict on every system he can.”

“What do we do?” one of the troopers asks eagerly.

“What do they need?” another asks.

Rose beams and Finn gives a smile. This was going to work. It was really going to work. “We need to give them the time they need to escape from their cells and the knights while we’re still in lightspeed. We need to make some noise.”

RC and Sadie step beside him. “What do you need from us?”

“Who’s flying this thing? Do you share allegiance with whoever is there now?”

A trooper from the crowd speaks up. “Yes. VN-0543 is there with some officers on the bridge. I can’t vouch for all of them though.”

“That’s a good enough start. We need to make sure that whatever happens, this craft doesn’t leave light speed. We need to keep moving and get to Coruscant as quick as we can. Now, seeing for ourselves how the Ascendancy is structured, I would say that we block off the upper levels. If we keep them from getting down below, we can offer whatever shield we can to Ben and Rey who will need a clear path free of the knights until they've escaped from the rehabilitation level. Once they're clear, that won't be as pressing though and we can try to advance further up until we get to Hux.”

“And when we arrive to Coruscant, the reinforcements we’ll need will already be waiting for us?” a trooper tries to strategize.

Rose smiles, knowing it was starting to make sense. “Exactly. That’s why no matter what, we need to keep the ship going. They’re waiting for us now, we just need to meet them on the other side.”

“When do we start?” RC asks.

“As soon as we can. Ben and Rey could be tortured as we speak. We need to work fast. But as soon as the uprising begins, we need to stay strong until the end. Gather whatever forces we can, tell them our plan, and be cautious of listening ears. As encouraging as it is to know so many on this ship see things in such a hopeful light, Hux is still the Supreme Leader. There are still those loyal to him. But hopefully, today we’ll see Hux's power come crashing down. And given what he’s done to this galaxy, I’d say it’s about damn time.”

They cheer briefly once again but the courage it gives them holds strong. Their hope rings louder than the engines of this foul ship.

As helmets find their places back on everyone’s head, Finn takes one final look around before they all depart. “May the force be with us.”

“May the force be with us,” they cheer back.

* * *

  
Hux is on the bridge when he nearly wants to slap Mitka in the face...so he does. Mitaka is quiet for a moment, refraining from holding his cheek and wincing. “What did you just say? Say it again without that stutter, you fool!” the Supreme Leader asks.

“The Resistance has arrived on Coruscant. They’re offering aid to the slave revolts and the riots of some of the rebelling officers...sir.”

“Bollocks. I thought we would have had more time. Very well. We still hold the advantage. When we arrive, they will not compare to the forces of the Ascendancy. But I want us there as quickly as possible.”

“We are already in lightspeed, sir. I ensure you we are going as fast as-” Hux slaps him again, this time with his metal hand and it clanked against his cheekbone enough that Mitaka thinks it could be shattered.

“I’m familiar with the basics of hyperspace. Don’t talk down to me.”  
“My apologies, sir.”

Hux groans before turning for the doors, “I will be in my throne room, conferring with the knights. If anything– _anything_ – should occur, you notify me at once. Understand?”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.”

Hux leaves which gives Mitaka the opportunity to bring a hand to his face, running his glove over his tender skin.

He could hardly bring himself to care if anyone saw him act in such a way. But as he raises his eyes, expecting to see faces of disgust and glares of shame, he sees how everyone seems to be focused elsewhere. The officers that pilot the ship and are maintaining it in lightspeed are speaking quietly with a stormtrooper. Too quietly and too closely. The alarms in his head blare with suspicion as he knows whatever they discuss, it wasn’t meant to be heard by him. Any other time, Mitaka might have given in to his Lieutenant impulses and notified Hux.

But as he tries to soothe the sting in his cheek, Mitaka decides to defy his orders. For the first time in his life, he ignores orders and if he’s being honest, it eases some of the pain in his cheek.

So, when the same trooper moves over to the door of the bridge and shoots the panel at the side, locking all them in, Mitaka doesn’t bother to com Hux. He’ll take his chances. 

For once in his life, Mitaka couldn't care less about the consequences. If it brought him death, it was better than living this despicable life. The lie he refused to believe in anymore.

* * *

Finn and Rose are lined up in the seemingly endless lines of stormtroopers, waiting to be screened. Or at least pretending to be. They were waiting for the right moment. The signal.

It was all a bit of a mess at this point but RC was going to get word from VN-0543 at the bridge when the coast was clear. RC would then have all the troopers off duty mobilize to the middle levels, creating enough of a buffer so that Ben and Rey could escape and reconnoiter with Maz to join them.

Hopefully, when Hux hears that the bridge has been overtaken, he will send the knights to investigate. Upon then, the prisoner level will be free. Maz will have the window she needs to get them out.

But as they get closer and closer to the questioning officers at the front to the line, Finn starts to sweat beneath his helmet.

* * *

 

Hux remembers as he’s making his way back from the bridge when he remembers something. Mitaka had annoyed him so much, he forgot to get the results on the screenings so far. He wanted to see for himself just how many traitors were currently housed on this ship.

He speaks into the device at his wrist, not in the mood to walk all the way back to the bridge. “Mitaka, come in. I forgot to ask about the screening reports. Have them sent to me immediately.”

There’s no answer.

“Mitaka? Mitaka, now!” Hux growls into the comlink. That little rat must have turned his off. What a pathetic excuse for an officer. Hux spins back around, making way for the bridge once again.

As he approaches the doors, they don’t open as they usually do. He steps before them, expecting them to hiss open. But they don’t. He moves over to the panel on the side, shouting his name and rank into the machine but there is no response. The doors remained closed.

Which could only mean it was purposely sealed off from the inside.

“Mitaka, answer me now!”

* * *

 VN-0543 eyes the Lieutenant warily. The comlink was blaring his name. Hux’s pasty voice scolding him to open the door. _"Mitaka! Mitaka, answer me!"_

The other officers have their blasters aimed at him, waiting to see what he’ll do. But Mitaka doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look scared. The man who always seemed to be shaking in his boots looked sure of himself for once.

The man pulls off his hat, followed closely by his Lieutenant ranking tag. He throws it to the floor while Hux bellows from outside.

_“Mitaka, you miserable louse. Open the fucking door! Do as I say!”_

Mitaka shakes his head, shutting off the receiver and Hux’s frantic demands go quiet. “Not anymore,” he says loud enough for the bridge to hear.

VN pulls off his own helmet, revealing a smile. He knows how Mitaka has been treated. They’ve all seen it first hand. To see him finally make a stand is refreshing. “Welcome to the Rebellion, Dopheld.”

* * *

Hux’s comlink is quiet. It’s indication enough. Just as the door was sealed, his demands to be heard were ignored...purposefully. This is an uprising. This is a coup.

Hux should know. He’s tried to plan several of his own before. And if the bridge was sealed off, Hux knew this extended further than just the traitors in that room. They were working with others too.

He shouts into the comlink again, this time speaking to the knights. “The bridge has been overthrown. Report here now. I want these doors open!”

As he rushes back to his throne room, he coms Lennox next. Lennox who was already in the throne room waiting for his return. “Commander, sound the alarm. We’re in the midst of an uprising. I want everything locked down!”

_“Yes! At once, sir!”_ Lennox answers immediately.

Hux inwardly groans as the alarm begins to sound. They're in lightspeed, which meant they were basically already locked down. And if the bridge is sealed off, they were all trapped together. 

"Of all the fucking times..." Hux mutters under his breath.

* * *

Finn and Rose are next up to speak with the ranking officers to go through the screening when the halls echo with a deafening alarm.

_The signal._

As the officers ahead look up in confusion at the sound. Baffled at what this particular alarm meant. But for Finn, Rose, and the thousands of others aboard this ship, it was the sound of the battle they had been waiting for.

Blasters at the ready, shots begin to fire and the plan is put into full swing.

* * *

Xid is making rounds of the detention level when he hears a faint alarm blaring from one of the above levels. Just then, his comlink blares with Hux’s voice.

_“Report to me now! All of you! If anyone tries to attack me I need protection!”_

Xid is about to respond when suddenly Lennox’s voice breaks through as well. _“Sirs, I’m afraid the stormtroopers are having an uprising as well. It’s happening everywhere!”_

“Coming up now, sir,” Xid hears Soldar’s response. The knights come running down the hallway for the lift and nearly barreling past him.

Xid stares after them as they call for him to join. He stalls, fearing that if he abandons his post on this level, Kylo and the girl could be released. But if the Ascendancy was being overthrown, Hux expected him to present himself.

Knowing there was no time for a lengthy debate with his personal options, Xid groans running to join the others in the elevator.

“This ship is just oozing with fucking traitors,” he mutters under his breath.

* * *

Maz watches from the slats in the vent as the Knights cram into the lift. She counts in her head before the door closes and cheers when it adds up.

_All six of them, loaded up to go._

Slowly she pushes against the vent and it clatters to the steel below. She eases out, landing with a thud, trying to adjust the backpack she overloaded on her back.

Maz grunts as she stretches briefly, knowing she’s not as graceful as she used to be, but managing fairly well for a woman her age. At least that’s what she tells herself.

She turns down the hall, where the knights had come from. She walks further down to find a series of cell doors lining down the left side.  Judging the size of the Ascendancy, there weren’t as many cells as she expected, but perhaps these cells were meant for only certain occupants. There was likely another detention level elsewhere.

But there were still plenty of random cells. _Which ones had Ben and Rey inside?_

She tries to sense them, but she knows that they’ve both been injected with something. Whatever they had been sedating Rey’s powers with was now also in Ben’s veins. There was no telling when it would wear off or how much they were both given.

Muttering swears under her breath, she starts throwing open all the doors. She goes further and further down the hallway, only exposing empty cells. As she turns to see the two final cells, she knows they must be there.

She opens the first door, a wave of immense heat bleeding into her as she tries to get the lights on. As the room illuminates, the slumped form of Ben appears to her from the corner of the room. “Ben!”

Ben hears Maz and he tries to open his eyes to see her but his sweat was stinging him blind.

_It's so fucking hot in here._

“Maz?” he asks, still unable to see. He hears her feet rush across the steel and grabs hold of him as she tries to free him from the collar and the cuffs. “Did you find her? Did you find Rey?” He asks, desperate.

“I think she’s next door. It’s the last cell I haven't checked.”

As the collar falls to the floor, Ben stands, turning so she can release the cuffs as well. When he hears them clatter to the ground, he springs out of the fiery cell, glad to be free of the heat. Maz pushes against his legs. “To the left. It’s gotta be hers.”

Ben can hear a faint alarm echoing out somewhere else in the ship. He takes it as assurance that Finn and Rose seemed to have made some significant headway, which would explain Maz’s rescue.

Coming back to his senses, he looks to the door closest and the locked panel at the side, “How do you open it?” He feels useless without the force.

“I got it.” Maz manages the controls with ease as she had done with all the others. But then the sensor beeps at her. Not the chirp of approval all the others had done. The screen reads: _Entrance obstructed. Door not operational._

“What the hell?” Maz smacks the door.

“What’s going on?” Ben asks frantically, his hands running through his sweaty hair.

“Something’s blocking it.”

Ben pounds against the door, trying to break through it. “Rey? Rey!” His heart sinks in his chest, frightened by the silence and all it could imply. “Maz, pass me my saber. I can cut through the door.”

“But what if Rey is what’s obstructing the door? What if they did that on purpose?”

Ben didn’t think of that. Maz is right. If she was too close then he could hurt her by accident. He settles back for pounding against it frantically.

“Rey, please. Please, sweetheart, answer me.” Panic spears through him as his hands shake in fear.

* * *

She’s watching the suns set on Lah’mu. It’s cold though. Colder than it usually is when they come to watch the suns. The water rushing past her ankles feeling like it covers her whole body.

Something was different.

She turns back to Ben but this time he’s gone. He had been holding Lorelei. Where did they go?

“Ben?” She looks back to the speeder but it’s become night so fast. The suns must have set because everything goes black. Everything goes quiet, except for her hurried breaths. She can’t even hear the tide anymore.

She’s alone. “Ben?”

But then she hears something else. Loud banging and screaming. It’s muffled but it seems so close. Like she could reach it herself.

_“Rey! Rey, please!”_

It was Ben! He was here, but not in the darkness. Someplace else. Beyond the cold.

She chases the sound of his voice. She had forgotten that’s what she started to do. She was searching for any remnants of him she could find within these walls. The walls of her cell. The cell she's been in this whole time. How could she have forgotten?

Her eyes flutter open, but it’s still pitch black in the room. 

There’s another pound at the door, a sob of her name. Ben’s voice and then Maz’s voice too.

_They were here._

She tries to call to them, failing at first. Her voice hoarse from lack of use. She clears her throat trying to be heard.

“Ben...Ben!” These attempts are loud enough that the banging stops behind the door.

Outside, Ben’s heart jumps to his throat. He heard her. It was her voice. He looks to Maz to see if she heard it too. It wasn’t just his imagination. “Rey! Rey, can you hear me?"

"I hear you," Rey answers back and Ben cries out in relief.

Maz shouts against the door, "Rey, It's Maz! The door won’t open! It says something’s in the way!”

Rey shivers, trying to push to her feet she can hardly feel anymore, but determined anyway. “I th-think it’s just frozen sh-shut,” she yells back, stammering as she shakes.

“Okay, stand back. I’m coming through!” she hears Ben yell back. There’s something else she can’t hear but he must be talking to Maz. Then a moment later she sees his saber slice through the steel of the door, cutting it open, bathing the dark room in a red glow.

Ben cuts it open, a cold fog seeping through. As relieving as it is to his burning skin, he knows Rey’s been exposed to it for too long.

As he slices it down, it falls back with a thud and the eerie mist floats out. Maz shudders beside him, stepping back. Ben deactivates his saber and ducks inside the cell. “Rey?”

She sees just the shape of him. His silhouette in the doorway. She cries out, a sob escaping her throat. She steps forward her arms reaching for him.

He hears her sob out his name and he turns his head to find her stumbling towards him.

_It’s her._

“Rey!” He reaches out, pulling her so close her feet leave the ground and he practically carries her out of the cell and into the bright hallway. She sobs into his neck as he kneels them to the ground. His hands feeling just how cold she was. Her black nightgown almost as chilled as her skin.

Ben tries to hold her completely. He tries to wrap her with the warmth of his body as she trembles against him. His hands are shaking too but from the shock that he's holding her again rather than the cold. He breathes heavily against her hair as his own sobs join hers. They cling to each other on the steel flooring.

Maz stays to the side, tears fogging up her goggles as she gives them this moment to hold each other. To remind the other they were alive.

Ben finds her hands, encasing them in his own as he tries to warm them. He brings her fingers to his lips, letting his breath try to warm them. His kisses ghosting her skin.

He pulls back further to look at her face. Her skin is pale and her lips are blue. Running a hand against her cheek, his thumb brushes past a dark bruise blooming too close to her temple. He kisses it softly and pulls back as she opens her eyes. As she finds his own staring back at her she whispers his name, “Ben.”

He smiles then. It comes with a new wave of tears but he is so relieved to hear her voice again. His name on her lips. The corners of her mouth twitch too as she smiles at him in total disbelief.

Her hand moves from his hold to reach for his face, as he had done to hers. His skin is warm and it comforts her cold skin as she cups his cheek. Her thumb running past his scar, her eyes assessing his face. “You’re real,” she says quietly.

“I’m real,” he breathes back, kissing her palm.

She smiles, tears streaming down her face as she chuckles a little. “And you shaved.”

He laughs, his tears blurring the sight of her as he pulls her closer. “I did. It’ll grow back.”

He isn’t sure if she laughs or sobs but he kisses her quickly. Ben holds her as close as he can, running his hands past her arms and legs. Anything to warm her still shaking body. Rey curls into him, reveling in his heat as her body chases away the numbness of the cold. 

He tastes like sweat and he's burning more than she's ever felt from him but she welcomes it. It's comforting in all the ways she's missed so dearly. She holds him tight as her tears fall against his tunic. His black tunic that she knows he had worn the day their daughter was born. 

_Their daughter! Lorelei!_

Rey pulls away from his chest to look back at his face, tears still in her eyes. She needs to know. She reaches up for his face again, looking far into his eyes. The ancient eyes she had gazed into on both him and their daughter a million times. The eyes she was afraid she would never stare into again. “Where is she, Ben?” Her lip quivers, worried to hear what he’ll say. “Please, tell me she’s okay.”

Ben can hear the desperation in her voice. The fear in her eyes chasing away their joy. He recognizes it so similar to his own fear. He knows she’s scared for their daughter, unsure of where she is.

“She’s okay. She’s with Malla and Poe on Arkanis.”

Her brow creases, “W-What? Arkanis?” _Did Ben just say Poe's name?_

He nods, scoffing a little as he can only imagine the look on her face when he tells her all that’s happened. “Rey...” he smiles at her, tears still spilling on his cheeks. Ben spares a glance at Maz. He knows they need to move soon, made evident by the almost skittish look in the old woman’s eyes, her foggy goggles perched on her head.   

Ben rises to his feet, pulling her with him, keeping her tethered against his body. Her feet hovering over his boots.

Rey trembles against his chest, watching his face. Waiting for him to explain. She realizes then that there's a faint alarm blaring somewhere else on the ship. Something else was happening. 

Ben sees the look of confusion in her eyes as he holds her face in his hands, gentle and cautious of the bruise and the scattering of other wounds she never should have received. Guilt, relief, love, and everlasting fear roil within him as he kisses her softly. “I have so much to tell you…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! The babes reunited! But once they find out what's waiting for them and that their little babe is upstairs, they're going to be a fucking wreck!! 
> 
> A lot of stuff happened here so I know this may be a little overwhelming. The next few will probably feel like that but I'm just going to roll with it at this point. Anything to get this mess over with, lol.
> 
> Also, I can't find a gif for it but Mitaka in this chapter reminds me of that wiener dog from that movie "Open Season". His name is Mr. Weenie and he betrays his human owners to fight with the wild animals against the hunters. He abandons his turtleneck to ride into battle with some wild squirrels and it reminds me so much of this little weenie Mitaka. That's such a tangent but I it needed to be •Also, Finn and Rose leading a stormtrooper rebellion is like the ultimate dream and I need it in IX. And may I just say, speaking of EP.IX...where the fuck is the flippity flopping title???
> 
> ***Author's note pt.2: Several days later...  
> I totally forgot to mention, but when Rey notices Ben's lack of beard when they reunited, that was me trying to reference one of my absolute favorite movies "Ladyhawke". 
> 
> At the end when Isabeau and Navarre reunite they just stare at each other and hold one another for the first time in like two years. They can hardly believe they're really looking at each other. They don't say anything really until Navarre is all like "You changed your hair" and then they both cry/laugh and it's beautiful and tender as fuck and I love it!! I wanted to throw in something similar and since Rey was partial to Ben's beard I thought it'd be cute, y'know. 
> 
> I can't find a clip for it but I strongly suggest watching it with your Reylo goggles on because that one is loaded with parallels, especially to The Last Jedi *cough throne room and intimate hand close-ups cough*


	39. Demands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whup, here we go. This feels kind of sloppy but we're just gonna go with it because I can't believe how ridiculously long this story got and I need to get my life back under control.
> 
> I told myself I would post this before lunchtime and now I'm fucking starving so here we go. Just gonna post it and rip off the band-aid. That's why you get a new dumpster update fueled by hunger and sadness.
> 
> Prepare thyself...or not. Do what you want.

“You four will go secure the bridge and wait for Hux’s orders," Soldar tells the knights in the elevator.

Xid turns to him, baffled. “Excuse me? Do you dare to command _my_ knights?”

Soldar looks to Xid, his narrowed eyes hidden beneath his mask but his frustrated energy not so much. “What would you suggest they do then... _Master_?” he says with no small amount of resentment.

Xid is quiet for a moment. Technically, he would have sent the bumbling knights to the bridge anyway. Surely they could handle it? It was a matter of a thick steel door and some stormtroopers.

But Xid doesn’t want to just echo what Soldar has told them. He turns to look at them, inspecting their severe lack of competence. His eyes lingering, however, to their lightsabers at their belts. He recalls how Soldar is without a proper weapon. Without his saber.

A much more inspired and somewhat petty thought strikes him as a smile ghosts his face.

“Azmo and Dono will go apprehend the bridge. When you have disposed of the traitors there, you will wait for Hux’s orders. Understood?” Should anything go wrong, Xid figures they were the most expendable, at least skill-wise. And surely it wouldn’t require more than two knights to complete the task.

These were mere stormtroopers they were dealing with. What they have in quantity they severely lack in quality.

Azmo and Dono nod in silence and as they arrive at the level where the bridge is. The two knights vacate the lift. Xid waits for the doors to close before turning to the others, specifically Soldar who he hopes to humiliate further.

“Soldar, seeing as you are not only disabled physically, you are also without a proper weapon, you are not prepared for battle. It would be just wasteful of me to send you out only to get shot by some anarchist stormtrooper. My knights are not to be wasted and seeing as you are incapable of defending yourself, I believe you’ll be safest in the throne room. That way Hux can be sure of your circumstances.”

Iella giggles, understanding Xid’s intent.

Soldar grumbles. “There are other weapons besides sabers. I can hold my own.”

Xid shakes his head, “Evidently, you can’t,” he gestures to Soldar’s metal hand. “I suggest the next time you try to command my knights, you remember your place. Your place of sitting wastefully beside me as I prove to Hux yet again just how useless you are!”

“You fucking-” Soldar cuts himself off as the lift comes to a stop and Hux’s red throne room is revealed to them.

Xid steps forward with a smirk, knowing Soldar silences his distaste of the situation to appear composed before Hux. Nourdi and Iella remain quiet behind him as they approach the pedestal where Hux is pacing. “Supreme Leader, Azmo and Dono have gone to take back control of the bridge. The rest of us will keep you safe should anyone try to get to you.”

Hux looks at Soldar, disapproval clear in his eyes. “I see. Are you sure these other knights are capable of the task?” From what Hux has gathered, Azmo and Dono were the most juvenile of the knights. At least mentally.

Xid nods, “They will be eager to prove themselves to you, sir.”

“I see. And who is keeping track of our fugitives in the midst of this chaos?” Hux growls at them.

Xid stalls. He would have stayed if it were not for Hux’s insistent demands to be protected. “Sir, I believed when you summoned us that you requested some of us to tend to the bridge and the others come to offer you aid.”

Hux looks to Xid in fury. “You mean to tell me the rehabilitation level is without proper security?”

Xid curses himself, knowing he should have trusted his instincts to remain where he was. “My apologies, sir. I will return to the cells myself and ensure they-”

Hux interrupts him, “No you won’t. Suppose someone tries to attack me. You remain here and guard me and my throne. Someone else will go.” Hux looks to the other three knights at first but knows he should keep the collection of force sensitives close. Despite their idiocy, he needs their protection. He looks over to his other side to see Lennox avoiding his eyes.

_Perfect. Expendable though still somewhat dependable._

“Lennox. Go down to the rehabilitation level and lock it down. I don’t want anyone compromising the security of our well-deserved prisoners.”  
Lennox swallows before answering. “O-Of course, sir.”

Lennox adjusts his collar, suddenly feeling quite tight around his neck. He walks to the elevator and presses the button for the level where Kylo and the girl are being kept. He gulps as he checks his blaster to make sure the safety was off.

 

* * *

 

Maz is rushing back for the elevator, constantly looking over her shoulder to make sure Ben and Rey were following. Rey insisted she would walk on her own but Ben’s hands were practically welded to her. It was a mix of ensuring she wouldn’t fall and assuring himself it was really her.

Rey welcomed it though as it was the first time she had used her legs properly in...well she isn't sure how long it’s been. It could have been anywhere from hours to years. She just knows it’s been too long. She’s glad to have him there to catch her as she stumbles, feeling finally coming back into her toes from the numbing cold.

They approach the elevator and Maz presses the button frantically as she tries to get ahold of Finn and Rose.

“Rose, my dear, can you hear me?”

_“I can hear you!”_

Rey hears Rose’s voice on the other end. “Rose? Rose is on board?” she whispers to Ben and he nods.

“Rose and Finn snuck on board with Maz when I surrendered myself,” he explains quietly.

“You surrendered on _purpose_?” she asks, slightly horrified. He could have gotten himself killed. Willingly offering himself to the First Order. Her hands held his face again, her eyes roaming over him as if this new knowledge would present new wounds.

“I’m fine,” he insists. His hands cover hers on his face, taking them in his own. “We’re gonna be fine,” he tells her.

“You two, quiet!” Maz snaps at them as she tries to hear what Rose is saying. It’s choppy and interrupted by blaster fire. Rose’s voice comes back on a moment later though.

_“Did you find them Maz? Please say yes.”_

“I found them. They’re okay.” Maz looks over to the couple. Her heart finally starting to believe again. Ben’s hands are running past her arms, holding her close and offering his warmth. “Where are you kids now?” Maz asks Rose, refocusing.

_“We’re going for the bridge. Some of the knights are headed there now and we need to stop them before they get there first.”_

“Alright. We’re coming.”

 _“Hurry! They’ll try to stop the ship,”_ the transmission ends.

Just as Rose’s voice cuts out, the elevator dings on arrival and the doors slide open. As they’re about to charge inside, they see it’s already occupied.

The man gasps, surely just as startled to see them. He fumbles to aim his blaster but Maz is quicker. She shoots him square in the chest and he flies back against the paneling, dead. She turns to Ben and Rey who look to her in surprise. It all happened quite fast.

Maz shrugs. “Well that’s one down,” she smirks.

* * *

 

Finn and Rose are stationed just beyond the doors of the bridge. As they traveled cautiously from the screening hall, they had come across very few loyal First Order officers trying to stop them. Given the surprise attack and their current position in lightspeed, they figure many of the loyalists have hidden out or were already killed in the spreading battle.

They hold their ground in an unsettling silence now. They know what’s coming for them. VN, a trooper on the bridge, had warned them that the knights were en route to the bridge. They had one communicator tapped into Hux’s main line so they could be one step ahead.

It also meant they knew whatever remaining knights weren’t headed for the bridge were going to assist Hux in the throne room.

“You see anything?” Finn asks out.

“No, not yet. But I can hear blaster fire further down the line. They’re coming,” Sadie answers.

Finn was with Rose, RC, Sadie and a collection of about twenty others. The others whose bravery astounded Finn. He might have even grown up with some of these people but never got the chance to really know them. He never knew if others felt as conflicted as he did.

Apparently, there were quite a few.

“Finn, I just spoke to Maz. Ben and Rey are okay. They’re headed up now.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. To know they were one step closer to reuniting Lorelei with her parents was comforting. It’s encouraging to think that soon the little family would be reunited. It is that image that drives him forward as he knows it what drives Ben and Rey themselves.

Hell, it’s what everyone is fighting for. Fighting for the future. For Lorelei and all the others that deserve to live in a galaxy worth living in.

They can hear the echoing ricochet of blasters from a nearby hallway getting louder. The distinctive hum of lightsabers close enough to make everyone’s heart beat a few speeds quicker.

_The Knights…_

The knights that have cut their way through their problems.

Finn looks to the many brave men and women around him. All ready to die. None deserving to.

He looks to Rose.

There’s a life he’s imagined for Rose and himself. But should he not make it, he hopes she’ll still live that life. The one she deserves. He wants to give her the chance. An opportunity to have that, even if he isn’t part of it.

He recalls how readily she swooped in to save him on Crait and now he knows is the time to return the favor. She’s ready to die for this cause, but he doesn’t want her to.

Finn removes his helmet and reaches for the saber Ben had given him, igniting it and looking warily at the red blade. He had expected that, as Ben had told him that much. Ben who handed it over, believing he could put the once monstrous weapon to good use. It gives Finn confidence to know Ben believed in him. Maybe he could really do this.

Besides, he knows blasters would only hold them off so long. Someone needed to do something else.

Rose turns as she hears the sound of a humming blade. Finn’s helmet is off and he’s holding the red saber. She quickly takes off her own helmet. “Finn! What are you doing?” she asks frantically.

“It’s okay,” he tries to assure her as well as himself “Just stay behind me, Rose. Please.”

The other troopers look to him in confusion as he holds the red blade. “It’s alright. It’s just borrowing it for now. I think I can throw them off.”

Sadie shouts from the front. “Finn, that’s suicide!”

“I got it! Everyone relax!”

* * *

 

Azmo and Dono round the corner, expecting to find scatterings of pathetic stormtroopers trying to offer any buffer they could before the sealed bridge doors. They are met with the hailing blaster fire of perhaps twenty troopers, as expected. But that isn't what stalls them.

Among them is a trooper without his helmet, clutching a what looked to be a lightsaber. Quite similar to their own.

Dono laughs, “Is that Soldar’s?”

Azmo joins her, chuckling into his comlink, “Hey, Soldar. We found your saber. You must have put it on loan.”

“ _Well, get it the fuck back!_ ” they hear Soldar shout from the other side. His temper only making them laugh as they deflect the oncoming blaster fire. The troopers attempting to distract their advance to the bridge doors, their eyes settling on the man with the saber.

Several troopers go down as the plasma is shot back at them and they collapse. With the fall of their soldiers, the blaster fire ceases, knowing only more will be lost as the knight’s saber blocks their attempts. They step forward, before Finn. They begin to crowd him but have yet to strike. The knights get a closer look at him, humorless chuckles filing the air.

“You’re the traitor, aren’t you? The trooper turned rebel scum,” Azmo snarls, his question hanging in the air for a moment.

“I am,” Finn answers strongly. “But I’m not the only one anymore.”

Dono laughs, the sound shrill and unsettling. “You think these people are significant? Do you think any one of them is any different than the other? They’re property. A step above droids...or a step below depending on your standpoint.”

A plasma bolt fires just then from one of the troopers closest to her. She freezes it in the air, sending it back as it kills him instantly. “And you all die too easy.”

“Not today,” Finn growls. As he sees them prepare to strike him, he blocks the blow, pushing enough to give him some room to strike at them. His advances are blocked too, but it gives Finn enough time to remember what he’s doing. Or at least pretend to know what he’s doing.

Regardless of his skill set, he’s ready to fight like he never has before.

They push him back though, his boots sliding on the steel. Their laughter bellows in his face, disguised beneath a mechanic tone of their vocoders. It turns Finn’s stomach.

He pushes back, stronger this time and the man falls back, but the woman stays on her feet ready to strike him again. As she raises her saber above her head to bring down, Finn has his window, striking her in the middle with the red blade. Her saber falls to the ground as she falls accompanied by the furious growl of the other knight.

He sounds like a madman as it integrates into a series of eerie laughter. “Silly stormtrooper likes to play with things that don’t belong to him!”

Azmo stands to his feet. His hand pushes forward, forcing Finn back on the ground, sending the lightsaber from his hand and clattering out of his reach. And then Azmo begins to charge for him.

It all seems to be slow motion as Rose watches from the side. “No!” she cries, trying to reload her blaster but her hands are shaking too much.

But before Azmo can even bring his hands high enough above his head, another red blade spears through his gut. His screams go silent as he looks down to see the distinctive crackling saber impaled through him.

As the knight falls to the ground, Ben is revealed from behind him, his saber in hand. And Rey at his side! Finn has never been happier to see them.

“Rey!” Rose charges forward, colliding with Rey in a ferocious hug. The other troopers in their company giving them a moment but reminding them they had to reconnect with the others soon.

“Oh my god, Rey! You’re okay! You’re alive and beautiful and kinda cold but you’re okay!” the shorter woman cries into Rey’s shoulder. Rey laughs at Rose’s frantic words of affection.

Ben gives Finn a hand up, clapping him on the back with something that could only be a smirk as he nods to the saber he had lent him. “Not bad. Nearly handled them all by yourself. _Nearly,_ ” Ben teases him.

Finn shakes off his life-threatening fear from just a moment ago, trying to play along. “I had everything under control.”

Rey looks up from where her face is buried in Rose’s shoulder to see Ben and Finn sharing smirks. She laughs under her breath. Ben mentioned there was much to tell her but she never imagined this. Finn’s eyes find her next. “Rey!” he charges over and joins Rose’s insistent embrace of crushing her against them. Rose refuses to step back so they are forced to share her as they cry into both her shoulders.

“We missed you, Rey,” Finn tells her, his voice cracking a little.

“I missed you, too. It’s been so long…” she says realizing she hasn’t seen them since she left Arkanis when she was about four months pregnant. It’s been over a year now.

Maz runs in then, totally out of breath. She’s got a blaster in one hand and a pair of boots in the other. “Rey! I think I found some boots your size. Fair warning, I stole them off the man I shot in the elevator. His feet were rather petite.”

Rey accepts the boots despite their origins. She feels extremely out of place in her tattered nightgown and robe but at least the boots will protect her feet.

Finn turns to RC then as she gets news from the bridge. “We need to head to the hangar. If we meet up with the others we can plan on how to approach the throne room.”

Ben nods, offering himself for Rey to balance against as she slides her feet in the tall black boots. They look similar to his own, though much smaller. Despite them belonging to a dead man Maz stole them from, he quite admires how they look on her long legs. They’re exposed only slightly by a slit made from a tear in her black nightgown. It leaves too much to his extensive imagination and ample knowledge of what lies beneath the fabric.

He had missed her so much.

“Oi, Solo!” Maz snaps at him, “You hear me?” Maz caught his eyes trailing over every inch of Rey he can manage. Were they not in the midst of battle, she would have gone to great lengths to embarrass him and draw attention to the blush on his cheeks.

Ben shakes his head, chasing away his thoughts to settle back on their current situation. _Focus._ They’ll have plenty of time to catch up for lost time later.

The rest of their lives.

“I asked you how many knights do we have left to worry about?”

Ben double checks around them before answering. “This is just Azmo and Dono. There’s still four left. Including Xid and Soldar.” They were the ones who had taken Rey from Lah’mu in the first place.

However, to everyone else, this is good news. “Only four besides Hux? With all the other officers that we’ve apprehended, this is almost over! They won’t stand a chance against their own army! There’s too many of us.” Finn exclaims as they all make their way to the lifts, heading to the hangar where the rest of the Rebellion was holding their ground.

Ben’s head snaps to the side, however, when he hears a rasped chuckle come from the ground behind him. Where Azmo laid. Supposedly, not yet dead.

“You guys go ahead, I’ll finish with him and meet you there,” Ben tells them, his voice low.

They don’t need to be told twice. The surviving company of stormtroopers files out in search of the lifts with Finn, Rose, and Maz. Rey however, stays behind. Her eyes trained on Ben and her own saber held tight in her hand.

She watches Ben approach the man dying on the floor. “Ben?” Rey breathes. She needs him to be careful. They’re still without the force. He’s always cautious but she can’t have him taking any chances now that they were finally together again.

He gives her a quick glance, nodding. A silent understanding of her concern, his eyes telling her he'll be careful. Ben rolls Azmo over with his boot. The man slumps onto his back with a grunt, rasping, and coughing. His hands clutching his middle where he was struck. Ben kneels down, removing the man's helmet so he can see his face. 

Azmo's usually tan skin is rather pale but he's got an unsettling grin on his face as his eyes flutter. "You fools...just you wait. H-He’s got what you want. Or should I say who...” Azmo's eyes begin to roll back, on the brink of death.

Ben’s heart races in his chest, suddenly much more attentive to the dying man. Rey rushes forward, standing close enough to hear. Her mind coming to the same absurd conclusion Ben did.

_He couldn’t mean..._

“Who, Azmo? Tell us, now!” Ben roars, his hands gripping Azmo's robes, trying to shake him awake. Suddenly his ability to breathe becoming much harder.

With a sputtering cough, Azmo answers. “Seems like you already know who…and given all that's happened, I don't think she has much longer.”

Rage surges in Ben’s chest at the man’s words. "You're lying!"

On Azmo's last breath, a chuckle still presents itself as he whispers, "You'll see..." He dies just then. Any answer Ben had been hoping for left open-ended and left for utterly terrifying speculation.

It was impossible. Total madness. Ben refuses to give Azmo's last words any credibility. 

But still, he fears. And as he looks up at Rey, he knows she fears it too.

Her hands are trembling as she reaches for Ben. Tears spilling over again onto her cheeks. No longer from the joy of being reunited, but now replaced with something much more chilling than the coldness of her cell.

Ben looks at her, his eyes are suddenly red. His head shakes in refusal as he clutches her with the same desperation that she holds him with. “He’s just trying to get us to panic. Lei’s safe. Lorelei is safe,” he says it a second time, trying to convince himself.

Rey looks to him, “How can we make sure?” her voice cracks along with what remains of their hearts.

Ben gulps as he pulls her along to the elevator, headed down for the hangar. “Maz has the comlink. We’ll call Malla and we’ll know for sure. But she’s fine. H-He must have just been trying to scare us...there’s no way. No way. They didn’t know I came from Arkanis. I wiped the Silencer’s computers before I even got near the Ascendancy. They couldn’t have...” His voice trails off as well as his mind. He wonders if Finn, Rose, and Maz did the same, suddenly fearing the craft they snuck in could have been found.

No. That was impossible. It had to be.

They rush into the elevator, his hand keeping hers crushed in his own. She shudders against him, her voice hoarse and hushed as she tries to repress the sobs in her chest.

“We can’t lose her…” she whispers, trying to keep sobs from escaping her. “Not to them…Not now.”

He holds her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes as his own tears begin to fog his vision. “Never.”

 

* * *

 

Hux has waited far too long for a response from the other knights. The most they had gotten was Azmo claiming some trooper had been making use of his saber but there’s been no further word from them. He thinks of calling back but at this point, he can’t risk speaking with anyone else. He is unsure who could be working against him should anyone else hear.  

And Lennox hadn’t reported from the rehabilitation level yet. He hadn’t confirmed that their fugitives were where they left them.

It implies the foulest possibility.

He looks to the four knights standing at full attention before the throne. His last defense it seemed.

He knows they are all eager to prove themselves to him. He also knows they all are capable of threatening stupidity. And if these were supposed to be the fiercest among them, he already knows that it had been too long for the other knights to have reached the bridge successfully.

“Can you sense them?” he asks Xid directly.

Xid turns, to look at him. He knows well enough who he means. “I can’t, sir. I believe Azmo and Dono have fallen.”

Hux nods. “I believe that, too. And tell me, these knights could surely fare well against some spitfire stormtroopers. Blasters would be no real obstacle for them, I’m guessing?”

“Usually not, sir,” Xid answers.

“And I’m sure Lennox’s lack of response alarms all of you for the same reason it alarms me.”

Xid swallows. Nourdi and Iella sharing a glance in agreement. They all knew what it meant. No one supplies an answer quickly enough though and Hux screams in fury. Their lack of response most disrespectful.

“It means that kriffing oaf and his whore are loose and running amuck. You are my only defense against these feral creatures! You’re my protection! Naturally, in a crisis such as this is when a Supreme Leader would put his escape craft to use but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re in lightspeed!” Hux screams, gesturing to the blue humming lights swirling past the red curtains. “The Resistance has probably been collaborating with these traitors this whole time. By the time we get to Coruscant, we’ll be finished! Kylo’s supposed surrender was a fucking farce. A distraction!”

Hux practically whines next, “I’d like to know how you plan to fix this cluster fuck of a mess!” Hux stomps right before Xid, “Tell me, ‘Master Xid’, because as of now, my life is in your hands and should I not depart this ship alive, the galaxy will hold you accountable for my death, I assure you.”

Xid should be upset when he hears Nourdi speak up first but he finds himself relieved. “Sir, we still have the child. We have the perfect weapon sleeping in the other room. As long as we have it with us, Kylo and Rey won’t dare touch you. None of their allies would either. That’s a better defense than any army at this point,” he explains as if it was obvious.

As Hux rights his coat, processing Nourdi’s words, he realizes he was right. In his distress, he failed to see just how perfect it really was. Opportunity striking him as he had completely forgotten their advantage. A sneer finds his face again. “Of course. Their whole uprising will fall to their knees when they see we hold the life of the child,” he chuckles.

Xid cuts in then, trying to claim whatever credit he can. “We can make the demands. They’ll do anything we say.”

Hux’s grin grows wider. “Nourdi, Iella. Go fetch the child and bring it to me. Soldar and Xid, play nice for a moment and try to prepare the cameras. I think it’s time I make another broadcast for the Ascendancy. Something to get everyone back to their senses.”

* * *

 

Ben and Rey rushed into the hangar, searching frantically for Maz. They pushed through the endless stormtroopers, oblivious to the triumph of so many fighting against Hux right under his nose. It should empower them but they were too distracted. The mere thought that Azmo might have been telling the truth.

That Lorelei might be…

Neither of them dares speak it or think beyond that.

Ben would never forgive himself if Lorelei wasn't safe. She called to him as he walked away. She cried for him to come back and he just left. What felt necessary at the time now feels like a mistake. His arms feeling empty without her small form within them.

“Solo, over here!” they both hear Maz’s voice from the center of the room. She’s with a number of others that have their helmets off. Finn and Rose among them.

Finn and Rose mean to greet them with victorious smiles, but as they approach and see the terror in their countenance, they can tell something is very wrong. Ben's eyes have that similar ferocity and horror they held on the night he rushed Lei to the med bay.

Rose knows, given the similar look in Rey's eyes, this has something to do with their daughter.

Ben interrupts whatever strategy they were planning and nearly shouts at Maz. “Where’s the comlink. We need to talk to Malla, now!”

Maz fumbles, pulling it from her belt, changing to the right frequency to reach Arkanis and passing it over. 

Ben pleads into the small device. Rey’s tears spill silently down her cheeks as she clings to Ben’s arms that hold the comlink. Their only beacon of hope to reassure them their daughter was safe. “Malla, it’s Ben. Pick up…” but nothing but static follows. His heart sinking with every passing moment. “Malla? Poe? Pick up, damn it. Please,” he begs and his own tears start to spill over as he watches Rey’s fall too. He shakes his head, about to argue that perhaps lightspeed is affecting the connection when Rey pulls it from his hands.

“Malla, please. I just need to know she's okay. Tell me she’s okay. Please…” her pleas become whispers only Ben can hear over the static that seems to be their only answer.

Finn and Rose are frozen where they stand as fear begins to settle in their bones. Finn shakes his head, trying to offer comfort anyway he can. “Ben, it’s impossible. She's okay. You know that. It’s probably just out of range and not-” Finn is cut off as suddenly the holoprojector comes to life, illuminating the massive space. Everyone’s eyes are drawn to it immediately as Hux’s pasty face appears before them.

_“Greetings, members of the Ascendancy. It has come to my attention that some of you have declared yourselves superior to my authority. I’m sure at this point you’ve come to think you are near to success, but I assure you, you’ve already lost. You lost the moment you chose to devote your allegiance to the likes of Kylo Ren and Rey, his filthy scavenger.”_

Rey’s hold tightens on Ben. The static of the comlink between them drowned beneath the foreboding weight of Hux's words. Their hearts pounding in their chests.

_“For those of you that thought these fugitive's way of things will bring you triumph, I would like to remind you where their true loyalties lie. If you think they would come to aid you in battle were it not for the compromise of their domesticity, then I assure you, they would not be here now. For these are not warriors you've decided to aid, but selfish and pathetic creatures whose existence is only valued by the safety of their most prized creation. Nourdi, bring it to me…”_

Nourdi appears out of the frame, placing a limp sleeping baby in Hux's brisk and partially metallic hold.

Lorelei. 

Time stops as well as their frantic heartbeats. The collection of tragedies that have polluted their lives within the previous week held nothing to the absolute sickening sight of Hux holding their daughter.

Rey sobs out, falling to her knees. Her heart shatters in her chest as she looks at Hux hold her baby with a sneer in a mix of victory and disgust on his face. Like it made him sick just to touch her.

Ben charged forward as if he intended to rip through the hologram and choke the man to death. He was caught by a flurry of troopers who were holding him back, trying to get him under control. It took more than ten to finally slow him down. One of them was Finn, who also had tears in his eyes but knew whatever Hux was going to say affected Lorelei. As much as it would pain them, Hux needed to be heard.

Rey hardly notices Rose and Maz’s frantic hands trying to comfort her. Her eyes have settled on Ben. Ben who screamed out in refusal. An echoing howl shaking the room along with her pained sobs.

Rey feels ill. The sound of their combined cries reminding her too much of the screams she heard from Katarina all those years ago in the sands. The scream of a mother who had just lost her child.

 _Had they already lost theirs? Was it too late?_ Lei looks so limp and still and Rey could vomit at the sight of Hux of all people holding her. Without the force and unable to sense her, Rey is unsure what it could mean. 

Ben and Rey can hardly see as their tears blind their vision. “Hold on...” Ben cries softly. His insides twisting and threatening to burst as the fear he and Rey tried to deny only moments ago has come true.

Lorelei has been found...taken.

And as usual, Ben can only blame himself.

He’s on his knees again. Like he was out in the field in front of their home on Lah’mu as Rey was taken. And now, just after he got Rey back, Lorelei had been stolen from them.

Ben was cursed, he knows now. It’s painfully obvious. Everything he touched, everything he loved, was forced to suffer in all the ways they never should. And Lorelei, just eight months old, has known too much pain. Even if they were to somehow escape this mess, she would hate him for all the pain he’s brought her.

And he would understand because he hates himself too. He let this happen.

* * *

 

Back in the throne room, Hux groans as he looks down at the child. “Quite a lot of trouble for such a miserable looking thing. Perhaps that is just a side effect of the serum Master Xid supplied her with. I do hope it wasn’t too much, I know it can be lethal in some instances to children,” Hux says. He is unsure if that’s true but he will take every opportunity to drag out this torture as much as he can. He can only imagine the agony Kylo and Rey must be suffering right now. It makes his smirk return at full force as he looks back into the camera.

“I’m sure you are all very concerned for this child, as you should be. Considering, however,  the heights of terrorism you have all decided to venture to today, it is you who are to blame for this. You can curse me for what my loyal knights and I have accomplished, but just remember it was you and your actions that brought us to this. You traitors have brought us to bartering with a child’s life in these deadly tides of war. You must have forgotten what was put in place and now this is the only way I can reason with you. How barbaric, honestly.”

The knights watch from the side. All amused while Hux’s words surely bring out a storm within their opponents.

Hux pulls out his blaster from his belt, trying to keep hold of the child with his flesh arm while he carries on. “I don’t want to be the one aiming the gun at the baby but that is where we are. I will be whoever I need to be to ensure my Order is not lost. So, here’s what we’re going to do…”

 

* * *

The hangar is in an uproar, attempting to stifle any noise in order to hear Hux's demands. The feat is most challenging for the parents who would likely be screaming in any other circumstance.

_“Kylo and the scavenger will come to my throne room. Nourdi and Iella will be sent down to escort the happy parents up to join us...alone! If anything besides what I have just described occurs or if you try to sneak anyone else in the elevator, the child will be killed.”_

Sobs, not only from the parents but also several others, including Rose, echo out then.

 _“If any suspicious activity that takes place on this ship during that time, such as_ _any impromptu rescue attempts taking place, the child will be killed. Nourdi and Iella will not come for you until I am back in proper communication with the bridge. If this is not done in a timely manner, the child will be killed.”_

He says it again and again. Threatening to kill Lorelei. A baby!

Helmets of the remaining stormtroopers are removed as they realize just how dire the stakes have become. They know their time to fight has ended as Hux blatantly gestures with his blaster while he speaks, just inches from the baby's sleeping body. 

Rey rises on shaky legs, refusing to look at the screen but still hearing Hux's cruel words for what they are. The death threats of her baby. She breaks out from Rose and Maz’s hold as she stumbles for Ben where he’s being held down. Her heart is unable to stand the distance as she tries to gather whatever remains of her strength.

Ben has his eyes shut tight, cursing himself and the silence of the force within him. Despite his efforts, his power doesn't stir and it's absence most resentful in their most desperate time. They have no advantage and yet he knows he will do anything Hux requires. If he doesn’t, Lei will die. He can’t risk that.

He feels the troopers holding him back relent and back away as Rey approaches and falls against him, crying into his tunic. He wishes he could comfort her. He could tell her it was going to be okay. But he won’t lie to her. He isn’t sure.

And it was only because of him Lei is in any danger at all.

Hux hated _him_. His determination to destroy _Kylo Ren_ rivaled only his thirst for power and control. It is only because of him that Lorelei is here in the midst of this horror. It is the only reason Rey was targeted in the first place. Hux knew the power of manipulation was above all else when your opponent had so much to lose.

That is clear as Hux now holds Ben and Rey’s beacon of light and love as if she was some type of vermin.

_“You have ten minutes to make your decision. Once I hear from the bridge, I will send the two knights down to collect you. Should it take any longer than that, your spawn will face the consequences.”_

With that, the projection ends. The image of Lorelei taken with it. The full force of the sobs waiting in their chests released.

The sense of victory the hangar was filled with just minutes ago is now gone.

It seems as if Hux has won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs in disco with the IQ of a doorknob* Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on!!
> 
> All right, now we're all set up for our final showdown with the First Order douchers that stole the wrong baby...not that there's a "right" baby to steal but y'know what I mean. 
> 
> I'm going to be honest. I have thought out several ways this impending "Throne Room Round 2" can go and they are all a mess so I hope it isn't too disappointing. I mean even this chapter was a mess but at least we know the torture is almost over, lol.


	40. Summit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Throne Room Round 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I've been really busy lately. I didn't want to post a chapter that was half-assed because it's such a pivotal moment in this story. Hense the "Summit" of our story.
> 
> Even though I've been working on this installment for a while, it's still the usual mess. This chapter jumps around a lot and I hope it doesn't seem too confusing. If it does, I apologize but so much shit happens in ways I lack the writing abilities to describe so bear with me.
> 
> As usual, I'm hesitant to post it but I'm just going to do it anyway and move on to the next one because it's killing me. 
> 
> Good luck babes!

Mitaka has a hand over his mouth as the broadcast ends.

Hux was threatening to kill the child if he didn’t get what he wanted. Kylo and Rey’s child. He gave them ten minutes to debate with the others and decide what their move will be.

There’s no question though, Mitaka thinks. They will have to give in to Hux’s orders. Mitaka was for the most part unaware of this rebellion when he joined but he knew they were not about to risk the life of an innocent child.

VN-0543 approaches him, his eyes cast down as he pulls up the security holos from the hangar. They both see for themselves the grief-stricken parents clinging to each other, huddled on the floor as the thousands of other stormtroopers shake their heads in defeat.

“He only gave us ten minutes to collaborate but I think it’s obvious we have only one answer,” Mitaka says, gesturing to Rey and Kylo. “We cannot let him kill the child.”

VN looks to him, nodding in agreement. He jolts when suddenly his comlink beeps, followed by a somber voice. “VN...just do what he says. Notify the throne room. Anything to keep the kid alive.”

VN answers back, “We were just about to, RC.” He looks around the bridge to see everyone was in silent shock. They had come so close. So close and yet, Hux found a way to beat them once again.

The troopers had been raised in this order since they were children. Stolen to fight for this order. Some killed if they fell behind. They weren’t about to lose another one. And yet, they all knew Hux had gone too far.

Despite however this went, there would be no hiding it from the rest of the galaxy now. The Supreme Leader was a vile and cruel man whose days were numbered. It was just a shame that it took holding an infant hostage for it to come to this. Because after today, even if it brought the death of Rey, Kylo Ren, and their child, the galaxy wouldn’t stand for that. He had to be brought down from his power, once and for all.

He should be the one to die.

Mitaka runs a hand through his hair, looking to VN for a moment. The trooper nods, knowing the sooner the better. With shaky hands, he comms the throne room.

* * *

Hux is trying to keep as much distance between him and the child sleeping in his lap. He needed to keep it close, as a shield, should anything go wrong. He looks to the chrono on the armchair of his throne. It had only been two minutes and already the comlink comes to life.

He chuckles, looking to the knights. “Desperate, aren’t they?”

He activates the message, Mitaka’s voice returning once more. _“The bridge awaits your instructions.”_

“Oh Mitaka, you pathetic fool. For a brief blip of your existence, you pretended to have a personality and just look where it got you. Right back where you started.”

It is silent on the other end and Hux is surprised the man isn’t groveling or begging for forgiveness. Instead, he hears something else in his voice but he’s unsure of what it is. _“Just tell us what to do. We don't want any harm to come to the child.”_

Hux rolls his eyes as he looks down to the child in question. _Why was everyone so worked up over this thing?_

“Well, originally I was going to have you bring us out of lightspeed but I realize now that I once again have my ship under control so we will be continuing our venture to Coruscant. Our arrival will not delay the scheduled execution I have put in place for the fugitives. Although, I wonder if the Resistance will try to jeopardize my orders. I’d hate to eliminate the child because of some fumbling x-wing hothead trying to be a hero. I encourage you not to forget who pays the price should anyone try to defy the demands put in place.” Hux laughs, amused at the thought though he can see it seems to make some of the knights nervous.

He remembers how they intend to train the child in the ways of the dark side of the force, should it possess powers worth training.

“ _We will remain in hyperspace, if that is what you require,_ ” Mitaka answers sternly.

Hux notices there is no “sir” or stammering accompanied with the man’s words. _How strange?_ Mitaka hangs up and Hux turns back to the knights. “Nourdi, Iella, go fetch them.”

“Yes, sir,” they say, headed for the lift.

“And get my saber back!” Soldar snaps, earning him a grotesque gesture from Iella but he ignores it.

* * *

Ben can hardly hear the other shaken voices of the hangar. Blood is rushing past his ears as he desperately speaks into Rey’s hair, trying to keep his sobs from wracking his body. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

Rey sobs harder into his shoulder, shaking her head but unable to find the words.

She does not blame him. Of course, he is not responsible but Ben was always so insistent everything was his fault. And as much as Rey tries to find a way to pin this on herself, she knows it’s really Hux. Hux and these fucking knights that have stopped at nothing to rip them apart. They lived a happy, peaceful life on Lah’mu. The First Order was the one to jeopardize that. No matter what they did, Hux and the knights were going to hunt them down.

 _What were they supposed to do?_ Any life Lorelei would live by Hux’s rule isn’t a life worth living, but if they don’t do as Hux says, she’ll be killed. Her heart wrenches in her chest to think of Lorelei’s name and the word “killed” so close to each other.

Ben pulls back to look at her, the desolation of her face indication enough that her thoughts were the same as his. They had to face Hux. They had to do whatever he asked. The whole Ascendancy did. Should anything go wrong, Lei would die.

Finn, Rose, and Maz are standing beside them. As frantic as their minds try to manage, they have nothing to say. There is nothing to say. Nothing more they could do for them. Whatever happened now relied on whatever happened in that throne room.

Maz can hardly think straight. The likelihood of their encroaching deaths too difficult to swallow. The likelihood of Lorelei’s fate, regardless of what Hux promises, seeming more grim with every passing moment.  _Hell_ , it seemed like they were all done for.

The elevator doors slide open then and the two knights Hux mentioned were approaching a comlink held out in warning. They stride forward, laughter coming from behind their masks through their vocoders.

“Remember, people. Anything goes wrong...the brat dies!” Iella roars out and the hangar remains in silence, watching them as they slowly advance forward. “Alright, where’s mom and pop?”

The crowd clears to reveal Ben and Rey embraced, their glassy eyes filled with more rage suddenly than sadness. Nourdi growls, “Step forward, both of you.”

Ben looks down at Rey then, giving her forehead a final kiss. “I love you,” he whispers softly, only loud enough for her to hear.

“Knock it off. I said, step forward! Separated!” They pull away from each other then, stepping forward as they are demanded, their eyes focused on the outstretched comlinks in their hands. Any missteps and they tell Hux. They couldn’t risk buying any time.

Iella shouts again, “Stop, there. Hands up! On your head.” As they do as she says, their lightsabers are summoned to her hands. “Thank you very much,” Iella cheers, clipping them to her own belt. She then turns to the rest of the troopers watching, “Now, which one of you was using Soldar’s weapon?”

Finn steps forward, knowing his cooperation was all he could provide for Lorelei even though he could feel just how wrong this was. But they couldn’t afford to fight back now. They couldn’t risk the stakes. “I have it,” he says.

Nourdi summons it to his hand, scoffing as he looks at Finn. “You’re the traitor stormtrooper, aren’t you?”

Iella scoffs then, “They’re all traitors now.”

Nourdi nods, stepping a bit closer to where Finn stood. “But he was the one who started it all…the original fuck up in the system.” Nourdi punches him in the gut, sending him to his knees and then striking him hard across the face.

The hangar winces as they watch Finn hit the durasteel, but it is Rose that rushes forward.

Nourdi holds up the comlink once again, stopping Rose in her tracks. “Remember where you all stand. You don’t want to be responsible for little tyke’s death, would you missy?”

Rose doesn’t answer him, just looks down in defeat. They held no advantage.

Nourdi pulls Finn up by the ear to speak to him closely. “I don’t have the time right now to kill you as slowly as I would like but I assure you I’ll be back. If you’re smart, you’ll kill yourself before we have a chance to make an example out of you.” He drops Finn again and he groans.

Nourdi looks all around the hangar then, “That goes for all of you. When we arrive to Coruscant, the Supreme Leader will see to the arrests, ‘interrogations’, and executions of all of you. If you prefer a quick death, I encourage you to take the coward’s way out now. You will be shown no mercy for your betrayal. Given how many of you there are, it would be a great help to us if you can cut it down to the bare minimum,” Nourdi laughs.

"Just the essentials," Iella chuckles with him before she snaps again. “Alright, back to our regularly scheduled program. You two, in the elevator. Now!” Ben and Rey glance at each other before making their way over, the two knights joining them.

Maz watches with weary eyes as the doors close. She takes a final look at the parents she believed in more than anything. Now, it seemed like any hope they had was gone. And still, she wants to believe that even now, the Solo’s would find a way.

They always did…

* * *

It’s an all too familiar feeling as they ascend. The hum of the lift and the white lights washing over the four of them. Iella stands behind Rey as Nourdi stands behind Ben. Ben looks out of the corner of his eye to Rey. She has stood like this before as they approached Snoke’s throne room. He was the one to stand behind her, his mind brewing with a plan as he thought of all they could do once Snoke was dead. It didn't work out then. Not the way he thought. But still, they both got out alive.

How could things possibly work out now? They have no plan, no force, no sabers. Hux had Lorelei and the desperate urge to see them dead.

And yet, he knows they need to find a way. He will not let Lei live in this treachery. He knows what a life shrouded in this darkness leads to and he will not let them subject his daughter to that. He will not let her be their new weapon.

The doors open then, interrupting his thoughts and the crimson curtains that line the room turn his stomach.

Nourdi and Iella push them forward. As they get closer, Hux turns from where he stands on the pedestal, Lorelei sleeping in the crook of his arm.

He's using her as a shield...

A quiet sob escapes Rey then. A soft gasp with tears. Hux is holding a blaster in his metal hand and he uses it to corral the fugitives where he wants them. On their knees, right before his throne. Iella pushes Rey down as Nourdi kicks Ben's legs, sending him crashing against the steel.

“Oh, Kylo. How foolish you must feel.” Hux shakes his head in mock dismay. He looks to the knights, brow furrowed as if he was trying to recall something. “Remind me of his other name. The name he thinks belongs to him.”

Xid is the one who answers. “Ben Solo,” he says with clear amusement in his voice.

“Ahh, of course. 'Ben.' How average. A miserable name for a miserable man,” Hux smirks, stepping right before him so he is sure to be just out of reach of his daughter. A mix of rage and fear embedded in his countenance. “And look at you now. So close but yet so far.”

Ben sees the rise and fall of Lorelei’s chest, assuring him she was still breathing. His daughter sleeping so softly in the arms of a monster.

With a smirk Hux steps away, enjoying the shattered expression on the man’s face as he keeps his eyes trained on the child. Hux moves to step before the scavenger now, sneer present on his face. As Kylo’s had, her eyes fixate on the child, roaming all over her tiny body looking for injuries. “I suppose that makes you ‘Rey Solo,’ doesn’t it," he asks her.

Ben’s eyes shut tightly, as he hears the name he never got to give her. Memories of the beautiful life they had together rushed through him. Those eight months that were the happiest of his life. The wedding he imagined in his oblivious state from the morning she was taken from them. The name _Rey Solo_ securing a permanent place in his mind.

He wanted to give her a name because she had given him everything else. But as he looks at them now, Lorelei in Hux’s grasp and Rey crying on her knees, he realizes he’s only given her pain. Both her and Lorelei.

Rey doesn’t answer Hux. She can hardly even process his words. She’s completely focused on her daughter, maybe only a foot away from her now. But as Hux had said to Ben, she was so close and yet so far. Still, she revels in the sight of her baby. Alive, although Rey isn’t sure for how long. Her little eyelashes fluttering, as if she might wake.

“So, what does that make this one then?” Rey still doesn’t answer, her eyes streaming with silent tears and Hux scoffs at the display. He prods Rey’s forehead with the end of his blaster. “Huh? What’s her name?”

Rey is silent, but she watches raptly as Lei’s little face scrunches up as her eyes begin to open. She’s waking up. Rey knows she should be more afraid now. Lorelei was better off asleep as all of this passed her by unknowingly. But as she wakes, Rey selfishly soaks her in, so glad to see her eyes at last.

Lorelei senses Rey before she sees her. It is what awakened her. The warm signature of her mother present at last but not entirely there. Like her energy was sleeping. It felt further away than she really was. As Lei opens her eyes to see Rey only a few feet away, she reaches out for her. “Ma...Mama.”

Rey gasps, her heart melting to hear Lei’s little voice. Calling her name. Memories of her calling after Ben rush through her. Her sweet little voice as she called to him. She had been smiling then. It had been such a happy moment. Rey wishes this could be too, but Lei’s voice is frightened.

Tears run down her cheeks, but still, Rey can’t help but smile a little. _She said my name._

Rey breathes out her name too, accidentally answering Hux’s insistent question. “Lei…” She only wanted Lorelei to know she was heard. That she was still here.

Ben stifled a sob within him as the sight pains him more than a blade ever could. Tears run from his eyes and into the corners of his mouth. What should be such a beautiful moment is tainted by so much horror.

Hux just scoffs at the sound he heard the woman whisper. He could only assume it to be the child’s name. “Lei?" he asks. "‘Lei’ is the best you came up with?” He glances to Kylo to see he’s losing his composure just to this exchange alone. He was going to go ballistic when it came to the real stuff. 

Hux tightens his grip around the child. “Well, kriff. In that case, it seems sensible that whatever name you’ve bestowed her with will die with you both. She won’t be needing anything you’ve given her.”

Hux backs away then and Lorelei begins to whine, panicked. She's squirming in his arms, trying to get back to her mother. She sees her father too. His signature is quiet, different and muted as her mother’s is and it leaves Lorelei in desperate fear. Frantically trying to reach them.

Hux tries to ignore the wails of the child. It proves difficult as it is extremely annoying but he manages to speak over her. “Now, I’m still planning to execute you both on Coruscant. I need to reassert my power not just to the Ascendancy, but the galaxy as well. They need to understand what is in store for them when they defy me and your deaths are an excellent example...That doesn’t mean that we can’t have a little entertainment on the ride over, however…”

Ben doesn’t like how sadistically Hux's voice suddenly turns. The man’s beady eyes trailing over Rey in too unsavory a way as the end of his blaster pushes at the neckline of her nightgown, attempting to see what lied beneath. Rey tenses, trying to free her arms and push him away. Iella just chuckles from behind her, keeping her right where she is.

“Hux, stop it!” Ben roars as he tries to break out of Xid, Soldar, and Nourdi’s hold but they practically pile on top of him, suppressing him down with the force. His physical strength as intimidating to them as his usual force signature. All three of them were cautious to keep hold of him, not taking any chances.

“Relax,” Hux rolls his eyes. “If you think I’d waste my time with your desert rat then think again. I was just curious if there was anything I was missing but evidently not. There surely isn't anything too stimulating on her.”

Nourdi speaks above where he was holding Ben down. “It’s because she’s just as powerful as him. He wanted to claim her for her power.”

“Ah, yes,” Hux pulls away from Rey, taking a step back. He speaks in mock surprise. This theory had been weighing on all their minds for some time. “Her ‘power’. I suppose someone as obsessive as ‘Ben Solo’ would find that intriguing when he had such a ‘precious’ bloodline to continue.”

Ben seethes. His shoulders rising in heaving breaths as he listened to Hux's vile words. The very notion he was suggesting setting his blood on fire.

Hux can see the rage in Kylo’s eyes.“It is this power she used to nearly strike both of you down on Lah’mu, was it not, Master Xid?”

Xid doesn't answer at first, embarrassed by the whole Lah’mu incident, knowing Hux only brings it up to strike such a response. “Yes, sir.”

Hux speaks again. “Soldar, seeing as she cost you a limb, I think it’s time you return the favor, don’t you?” He points back at Rey with his blaster, gesturing to her arm.

Soldar steps forward with his newly returned saber. “Thank you, sir.” Iella backs up to give him space. She laughs as she practically skips away, but it goes unheard as Ben has started screaming again.

“Hux, don’t! This is between you and me!”

“Correct,” Hux says coyly as Soldar pins Rey down, a knee digging into her spine. He pulls her arm out and lays it flat on the ground, preparing to bring his saber down and slice the whole thing off. 

Ben tries to scream louder than Lorelei. He knows she can sense this and she's terrified. “So just take me and let them go, please. Kill me, do anything you want. Just please don’t do this. Don’t hurt them," he pleads. He knows all of this only encourages Hux, but he has nothing left and Ben was willing to do anything to save them.

Rey’s cries are drowned in all the commotion. “Ben,” she tries to call to him. Her voice faint from Soldar crushing her.

  
Hux actually chuckles in astonishment. The man was begging on his knees, just like he had predicted from the beginning. But to see it actually in front of him is refreshing. It means his plan is finally working.

“Rest assured. I plan to kill you, but in all the ways I know you’ll suffer. No ordinary torture is sufficient for a man who has so much to lose. Death only comes after every cruel stroke has been administered and to someone like you, that means I don't have to lay a hand on you to make you writhe in agony. I just have to remove the hands of your supposed beloved. Including the one you owe me.” Hux holds up his metal hand, still gripping the blaster. The hand he lost when Kylo tried to bury him on the Absolution. “Soldar, take both her arms. She won't be needing them.”

“No!” Ben screams, fighting against the three knights holding him down. Lorelei cries too as she squirms. The firm cold grip holding her does not relent, so she screams. She screams louder than she ever has and tries to push away at the dark figure about to harm her mother. Anything to make it stop.

Soldar ignites his saber above his head ready to bring it down and slice away what she had taken from him. But before he can, he is suddenly suspended in the air, flying back until he crashes on his spine in the back of the room. His head receiving a heavy blow against the steel.

The room goes quiet, save for the whimpering moans of the child although her sobs have relented suddenly. Little sputtering coughs take their place. Rey rises on her elbows, her eyes finding Ben’s as they both know what’s just happened. Memories of Manak flavored baby food splattering in their kitchen flash through them both.

However, to everyone else, this outburst is an anomaly and Hux is the first to speak. “I thought you said the serum was still in their systems! Where are the capsules?”

But before anyone could tell him, a roar is heard by the knight who was thrown. "It wasn’t her!” Soldar groans as he sits up. Unbridled rage in his voice. “It wasn’t her!” he repeats. “The force in them both is still dormant!” He staggers as he stands practically charging for the cluster of other knights beside Ben. As he lifts it above his head to strike, he aims for Xid.

Xid blocks the blow, with his own saber, his hold on Ben released. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“It was you! You’ve been trying to humiliate me and expose me as an invalid for days. Of course, you would choose now to make me look like I can’t do it. Like I’m fucking worthless!” Soldar bellows, his attempts to kill Xid getting more intense by the passing moment. 

Xid doesn’t think to defend himself against the accusations, instead, he’s defending himself against the ferocious blows that Soldar tries to bring down. Thinking only to confirm one thing, “You are fucking worthless!”

  
“Xid, Soldar! Get ahold of yourselves!” Hux shouts.

It gets violent fast as their form becomes sloppy and aggressive. The main objective to destroy the other. Soldar swiping close to Xid’s neck and grazing his collar, resulting in a pained groan. Iella bolts over, attempting to split them up when Xid forces her back, she lands on the steel as Soldar did. The action certainly not helping him deny Soldar’s accusation. “Stay back. Let me finish him off!” Xid roars.

Iella falls, the two sabers flying from her belt sliding to the middle of the room. Ben and Rey’s eye glued to them as they come to a stop on the steel.

Rey then looks to Hux as he screams at them to all stop and obey him, Lorelei still crying in his hold. They are all oblivious to her power. They had no idea it was Lei. Rey glances back at Ben, knowing if they were to stand a chance, she had to act now. Ben nods to her, his eyes urging her to move.

He believes in her, always.

She bolts for her saber on the ground, igniting it and the two blue blades humming to life, drawing attention from everyone, including her daughter. The two knights fighting in the back if the room going still in their confusion. 

Iella pushes up from the ground, igniting her own saber. “Don’t be stupid. If anything goes wrong, the spawn gets it!” She points to Hux who held the child. Holding Rey’s eyes, Hux readies his blaster once again, knowing the woman would do no harm as long as he held the kid. But as he aims the blaster back at the baby, it propels from his metal hand, shattering on the back wall.

“Who…?” Hux baffles as he looks to Rey, suspecting she was the one doing this after all, despite Soldar’s insistence. "I-It must be her. Do something!"

Nourdi ignites his own blade, unsure what to do. He was the only one still holding Kylo down but Iella wouldn’t last against the girl alone. Before he can consider his options further, he is thrown as well, crashing into where Iella was headed for Rey. It coincides with another strange scream from the child in Hux's grasp. 

Nourdi realizes it then, it wasn't Kylo or Rey. It wasn't any of the knights.

It was the child.

She was force sensitive as they suspected, but they had failed to realize that despite her age, she was powerful. She was the one who sent Soldar flying and then him. It shouldn't be possible. “It’s the kid! The kid is doing it!” Nourdi rasps to Iella as they try to get up. She’s cursing at him so loud though and his realizations go unheard.

Ben pushes to his feet, finally free. Nourdi was thrown from holding him down and he’s astounded to know it is Lorelei’s strength that did it. He fears she’ll hurt herself with this extreme outburst and panic settles within him at what could happen to her. He charges then for his saber. He needs to be quick.

As Ben dives for the saber, he lands on his back to see Xid and Soldar tower over him. They must have seen him bolt and stopped fighting to apprehend him. Their sabers are going to crash over him before Ben can defend himself, but then the familiar blue glow of Rey’s saber blocks the two red ones.

She practically growls as she pushes them back. Her strength found not through the force exactly, but in her need to protect him.

Ben rises, igniting his saber, trying to stay as close to Rey as he can as Nourdi and Iella charge for them too.

Suddenly, they’re back in that throne room from three years ago. The knights are no different from the guards they defeated together and despite the silence of the force, there is something akin to the bond that stills thrums between them.

* * *

Hux had gone running into his private quarters attached behind the throne room. The child is whining in his arms and as much as he wished to be rid of it, he needed her for protection. Should the knights not defeat them, Hux still needed leverage.

What he really needs are more of the ysalamir capsules. He needs to suppress their power before they attempt to kill him. He places the child on the floor while he sifts through compartments, cursing under his breath.

Lennox had told him that he had stocked the capsules someplace in this room. It was in case he needed to use them against the knights in the future, but he can’t recall where they were. The whimpering cries of the child were certainly not helping him keep his composure. “Would you shut the fuck up you miserable little shit?”

Lorelei has no understanding of the words that have just been shouted at her, she just knows they scare her. Nothing like the gentle voices of her parents. Her frantic cries pick up again as she searches all around for them.

Hux groans. “Shut the fuck up!” he screams again at the child and she flinches, her wails returning to whimpers. He thinks at least the smaller noises were more manageable than the louder ones as he continues his search.

As he reaches for the next compartment, his mechanical arm doesn’t respond to him. He curses again, his eyes wary of the door, wondering if at any moment those two idiots would blow through.

Before he can pull his sleeve up to inspect his arm, sparks ignite within the mechanism and light the fabric. It leads to small flames on the arm of his coat and he frantically starts to slap away at them. “Oh kriff…” he frantically tries to flail out of the garment but as he does, it already begins to spread and singe his skin above his elbow. He rolls around, desperately trying to extinguish the growing flames.

He tries to reach for his fallen comlink intending to notify Mitaka to send provisions immediately. Despite his need to reassert himself, he would burn to death if he didn’t get help and the only one around is the spawn.

Hux glances at the child crawling from the place on the floor where he left her. He can hardly manage the strain from the flames racing up his arm. Could she have been the one who…

_No...that was impossible._

Lorelei crawls away, grunting as she tries to gather her strength and move forward. She’s exhausted herself. To the baby, she is unsure why, but after she threw two large men across a room, managed to cause a mechanical arm to catch fire, and shatter a blaster, she’s tired.

Still, she crawls forward. She knows her parents are close. She feels them.

* * *

Mitaka breathes heavily from where he’s hunched over the control panel. There’s been no word from Hux. There’s been no word from anybody. The ship seemed to be in total silence. VN steps forward beside him, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m sorry, Mitaka,” The trooper says.

The former lieutenant shakes his head. “As tragic as it became, this was the most thrilling moment of my life. Certainly the most meaningful. Thank you, for letting me join, if only for a moment.”

VN nods, knowing soon enough they could all be dead. At least they were going out believing. But it didn’t feel empowering as it should, especially when the security holos of the hangar are still displayed. They can see how dismayed everyone is. The heavy heads of the fighters that had tasted freedom only to have it taken from them once again.

Suddenly the control panel blinks with a message and Mitaka sees it’s from Hux. “Better answer it. We can’t risk him hurting the kid," VN says.

Mitaka agrees, accepting the transmission, expecting to hear Hux’s arrogant sneer through the link. But as he answers it, instead the bridge is graced with the frantic, desperate cries of their supposed Supreme Leader. “Mitaka! Can you hear me? Oww, fucking-”

The message cuts out just as suddenly as it started and Mitaka can’t get a hold of him again. He looks to the rest of the officers on the bridge who are listening, knowing there was something they could do. “Can you get the security holos connected so we can see what’s going on?” Mitaka asks.

VN types quickly into the control panel, trying to connect them to the events of the throne room. Instantly, the sight of Kylo and Rey fighting back to back against the four knights is revealed and everyone rushes to gather behind him, watching in awe, some of them cheering.

VN presses a series of other codes, broadcasting this footage to the rest of the Ascendancy.

He knows how badly they needed to see it too.

* * *

 Finn and Rose were slumped on the ground in the middle of the hangar, their heads hung low. Inevitable defeat leaving them weary. Maz’s goggles were upon her head as her hands were covering her eyes. Finn and Rose have never seen her like that. She hadn’t said a word since those elevator doors closed.

But then again, none of them had said much. The whole hangar was quiet as they tried to think of any way they could be free of this mess. If there was any way they could somehow resume their rebellion while not endangering Ben, Rey, and Lorelei, it had yet to be thought of.

And although no one said it, the feeling of hopelessness was palpable. The sense of hope they were never meant to lose seemed to finally die out.

Rose speaks quietly then. “If they got Lorelei here...that must mean that Malla and Poe are…” she can't say it but by the look Finn gives her, she doesn't have to. He knows too.

They were gone. Just like it seemed Ben and Rey would be gone. Like they would soon be gone. All of them. Even Lorelei.

But then suddenly the holoprojector comes back to life. The screen that had devastated them not too long ago now has a very different image. Thousands of eyes snap up to see Ben and Rey fighting aggressively against the knights...and they seemed to be winning.

The knight that had struck Finn falls to the ground as Ben strikes through him with his saber. Cheers and sounds of victory start to echo out as perhaps hope is not lost after all.

* * *

 Nourdi falls and before Iella could attempt to strike at Ben, one end of Rey’s saber strikes forward, slashing through her as well. Both Nourdi and Iella always tended to lack technique and swiftness just as Azmo and Dono did.

However, that means that Xid and Soldar are the last two left. The same ones Rey faced that morning on Lah’mu. They knew well enough that they were more skilled than the others, made evident how ferocious their own fight had been moments ago. They could have killed each other which would have been convenient, but to Ben and Rey, this is something they wanted to do themselves.

Rey twirls her saber as she blocks Xid and Soldar’s attempts to cut her in two. It’s a familiar view as they’ve been here before but now Ben is beside her. What she can’t block in time, Ben blocks for her. When he strikes, she guards him. Back and forth, they nearly dance together, as if the force within them wasn’t as quiet as they thought.

Xid and Soldar try to separate them, drawing them further apart. Xid takes on Kylo while Soldar sticks with the girl. Given the wounds they inflicted on each other from their own fight, it proves difficult for the knights to endure.

Rey focuses on tiring him out, trying to block everything Soldar brings upon her so when the times came she could end him quickly. Quicker than he deserves. But she realizes then that she can’t hear Lorelei crying anymore. She snaps her head around, looking for Hux but he’s gone. Nowhere to be found, and Lorelei is gone with him.  

Soldar sees her turn frantically, trying to see where Hux might have taken the child. He staggers in his exhaustion, but her wandering attention is his advantage as he swings away. Rejoicing briefly when she stumbles, his saber grazing her leg.

Ben hears Rey groan in pain and his head snaps over from where he’s fighting Xid to see her crouched over, holding her thigh. She manages to block Soldar’s attempts as he towers over her still, but Ben knows she needs help.

Xid is laughing sadistically as he notices Kylo’s sudden shift of concern. “She’s done for, Benny boy.”

“No,” Ben growls. Ben pushes him back with a ferocity he thought beyond his capable physical strength. Xid stumbles back but not enough to fall. Ben kicks him in the chest and he plummets down. He elbows him in the face, the impact cracking the mask he wore and exposing his eyes.

Xid cackles in madness, “You always were a fucking nightmare, Solo.”

Ben seethes as he brings his saber down to impale his chest, the man grunting in agony as his eyes begin to unfocus. He isn’t quite dead yet though when Ben answers back, “Yes, I am," his eyes piercing into Xid's as any sign of life fades from them, pulling the saber out of his chest.

He hears Rey again and he sees her sprawled out on the steel, trying to keep Soldar’s advances away from her. He was crashing down his saber, again and again, trying to break her.

Soldar brings his arms high above his head this time and Rey fears she won’t be able to hold it back. But as she notices the strange stirrings of her bond with Ben ring out in warning, she feels rather than hears the swift footsteps in her chest as he charges for them.

And as she looks up at Soldar, she can tell he is none the wiser to Ben's approaching fury.

Soldar doesn’t even know what’s happened until something collides into him and suddenly he’s back on the floor again, this time the impact of the fall leaving him winded and his head spinning. He can’t breathe.

He rasps as he desperately tries to pull his helmet off, thinking it would help him breathe. In his attempts he tries to stand, searching for the saber he had dropped, afraid to turn his back on his opponents. 

Ben sees him fumbling, about to rise. Ensuring Rey was still on the floor, Ben gives one final swing cutting through Soldar, separating his head from his body. He takes a moment to watch as what remains of the knight thuds to the ground, needing to assure himself it was really over.

Soldar, Xid, and the other knights were finally dead.

“Ben…” he hears Rey call for him. Her voice is strained and tired but relentlessly concerned. She has her hands reaching for him to help her to her feet. He kneels slightly, offering his hands to her to help her up. 

Were this any other time, Ben and Rey might have thought about how different this fight had gone. Rey reached for him and takes his hands. A stark contrast to what happened last time they were in this kind of situation. A hopeful sign that this will all end better than how it started.

As Rey comes to her feet, ignoring the burn of her leg, she looks to the bodies littering the floor. Xid and Soldar were dead. She doesn’t feel a great wave of relief yet but she imagines no relief will truly be found until they have Lei back in their arms. Until Hux was just as dead.

Aside from their hands running over each other, making sure they were in all in one piece, they don't really speak. Just mumbled words and frantic nods assuring the other they were okay. Ben isn't sure he can even comprehend actual words.

They need to get moving. Rey limps only slightly as they rush to the back of the room, Ben holding her arm and keeping her close should anyone else attack. Together, they chase after the only possible place Hux could have fled to.

Ben’s heart is racing in his chest, still unsure of the state of their baby and frightened to death of what they were going to find, but as he turns to look at Rey’s profile, determined as ever, he knows they’re going to find her. He can feel it.

Just as his mother had seen it, they were going to walk away from all of this together. They were going to live again.

* * *

Hux was screaming as he rolled on the floor, desperately seeking relief for the burn that was eating away at his skin. He tosses about, ignoring the loathsome wails of the child. Most of her whimpers, however, are overshadowed by his own shrieks of pain that were increasing rapidly.

He had tried to call for help but the comlink had apparently malfunctioned in a similar condition to that of his metal arm and Hux reverts back to his earlier suspicions of the child being responsible. He plans to dispose of her as soon as she outgrew her use, but for now, his main priority was to stop burning to death.

With some precision, he manages to detach the metal arm from his body, making the task of slipping out of the coat a little easier. Finally free of the fabric that seemed to be a massive conductor for the flames, he pulls himself away by his flesh arm, groaning as he does.

Victorious, though suffering from extreme burning, he swats away at the remaining flames on his tunic that made their way up his shoulder and close to his face. He can’t feel it, but his hair on the left side of his face is singed as the skin of his neck was raw from the degree of the burns. He tries to move, intending to ensnare the child, needing to secure whatever advantage he held wasn't lost. She’s on her stomach, crying. She had crawled there but now it seemed as if she had tired herself out.

It was a relief at first since Hux knew he couldn't get far either, but just then, he hears something happening at the door. The distinct sound of a lightsaber crackling as it cut through the steel that barricaded him inside. Hux frantically tries to press to his feet, calling to the child to return to him. He will not let this be how he dies.

"Come here you little shit! Now!" spit flying from his mouth. His mind hysterical, trying to plan some way to evade this.

Ben cuts through the door and breaks through to the other side. Instantly he sees Lorelei lying on the ground up ahead. “Lei!” he calls to her, the sound ripping from his chest and bouncing off the walls. The baby’s attention snaps over to where he and Rey try to wedge themselves through the entrance he created.

At the sound of her name, Lorelei sits up, sobbing as her parents rush to her side. Rey falls to her knees and scoops her up into her arms, crying and kissing anywhere she can. Rey feels her little hands tangle into her hair as her tears merge into the skin at her neck. "I got you. I got you, Lei."

Ben wishes more than anything to fall beside Rey and hug Lei close, but his eyes are steady on Hux. As long as Lei was safe with Rey, he knew Hux needed to be disposed of before he could join them. Hux was trying to get to his feet with the aid of one arm and failing terribly as he winces from the strain and burns on his skin.

 _Burns...Lorelei must have done this_ , Ben thinks. 

Ben towers over him, leaning down to grab what remains of his collar. Hux tries to squirm out of his hold but Ben stills him with a punch to the face. The impact was so fierce that Ben can feel Hux’s nose crack under his knuckles as blood rushes down his face. Pained moans coming from the man as he slackens from the hit, his head lolling to the side. “Look at me,” he growls at him. Hux doesn't and Ben pulls him by the jaw, "Look at me!" Ben repeats even louder this time.

Hux’s eyes open and Ben seethes with rage as the man responsible for all the horror his family has been through is now a bleeding mess in his grasp. He wants to kill him with his bare hands. Slowly, painfully, in all the ways the cretin deserves."

But then he hears Rey speaking softly to Lorelei behind him. “I missed you so much, Lei. So much...”

Ben’s heart wants to join them. He wants to be free of this pain that has shrouded them in fear and he thinks now it’s finally possible. He looks over his shoulder to see Rey hold their baby so tenderly as they cry against each other, finally reunited.

He turns back to Hux, the desire to rip him apart fleeting as the urgency to be back with his family is all that matters.

“You threatened to kill my daughter,” Ben begins. His voice is low, cautious to keep the sobs away as he thinks what could have happened to Lorelei.

Hux laughs then. "Just because I didn't get to kill her doesn't mean there won't be others. Your spawn will suffer as she's meant to. You know-" Ben cuts off Hux's words, strangling him. 

He refuses to listen to any more of Hux's false threats. “You deserve to die slowly in the most excruciating and agonizing ways,” Ben’s voice cracks a little then.

“Dada,” he hears behind him, followed by Rey shushing her gently, trying to let Ben finish what he needed to. His heart calls for them, anxious to hold them again.

Ben shakes his head, trying to stay focused. His decision now made and he presses forward. He needs to finish this. It was almost over. He takes his saber, placing it right above Hux’s heart. “But there are things I’d rather do than watch you die...because you’re not worth my time you fucking bastard.”

With that Ben ignites his saber. The blade spearing through his chest as he goes limp, dying against the steel with a creaky moan. He's dead.

Hux is dead.

Ben takes a deep breath, deactivating his saber and stepping away from Hux’s body. “Ben?” he hears Rey call for him.

He turns around, finding her eyes. Tears running down her cheeks. “Rey,” he breathes out. The sobs awaiting in his chest finally released as he stepped towards them, falling to his knees and gathering them into his arms.

His body shudders as he surrounds his senses with them, his heart slowly melding back together. All the broken pieces converging within him as he has both of them against his chest. It feels like a lifetime since they were all together and not the handful of days it had actually been. 

He pulls away only then to look upon them properly. His eyes roaming all over Lorelei, relieved more than anything that she was safe, even if her eyes are filled with tears and her cries make it sound like her throat is raw and strained from her screams. 

"Oh, Lei," he whispers softly, a sob escaping him as he brushes his fingers past her head, imaging the ache she must feel from her outbursts. "You're gonna be okay..." he says to the baby, kissing her forehead.

He then holds Rey's cheek as he looks at her, keeping her eyes with his own. The tears between them streaming quickly as they realize how close they came to losing this. And yet they survived. "We're gonna be okay," he whispers to Rey now. She nods desperately, trying to believe that it was finally over.

Rey is overwhelmed with concern and relief all at once. She knows Lei must have pushed herself to the brink summoning what she did but were it not for her, Rey doubts they would be here together now. 

_She saved them..._

Rey leans back into Ben and they huddle themselves around their daughter. As they the three of them merge together, it’s as if the force dormant within Ben and Rey is awakened by their combined contact. The serum in their veins is finally clear and the bond hums to life between them for the first time since it was ripped from them that morning on Lah’mu. Lorelei's whines fading softly as she finally feels the warmth of her parents wash over her.

Ben has his family back. Both in his arms and in the force. He won’t let anything change that. He’s never letting go.

In Rey’s mind, he heard her make a similar promise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of all the chapters so far, this one was probably the hardest to write because it's (as I refer to it) "Throne Room Round 2" and I suck at writing action/fight scenes without using the same verbs over and over or glazing over fighting details. That and it's mixed in with a shit-ton of emotions from mom and pop and I was a little frazzled of where their mindset would be amidst all this. 
> 
> The inspiration for Lei to be the one who essentially saves them was also one of my original concepts for this entire story. It started when I was rewatching that scene from "The Incredibles" where Syndrome tries to steal Jack-Jack. 
> 
> Hux has major Syndrome energy that I couldn't shake. 
> 
> Syndrome doesn't have powers but presents a valid and dangerous threat to superheroes because of his intellect and technology. Hux does not have the force, but through manipulation and the control of his army (although no longer in this story, hehe) he presents a very valid threat that I hope Episode IX takes advantage of. It would be so exciting to see a non-force sensitive 'big bad' or at least as a prominent antagonist in the next film. 
> 
> (Has anyone done a meta or whatever comparing Hux and Syndrome on Tumblr or is that something I should summon into existence?)
> 
> Anyway, I sincerely hope this wasn't disappointing for you. I know it was probably kinda lame. Maybe I've just been reading over it for too long but I feel like this chapter was more of a clusterfuck than usual, at least on behalf of my writing abilities. Even if you thought it was unfulfilling in some way, thank you so much for reading it and sticking with me.
> 
> This shit show is nearly over!


	41. Survivors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I know I say every chapter is stupid but this one is stupid. I'm finishing up the next chapter so I can post it right after this one to atone for how lame it is.
> 
> That being said, enjoy, lol.
> 
> That boy Quark(lame name) and his mom Unie(also lame name) make an appearance at the end of this chapter. They were in a short snippet at the end of chapter 30. Unie is married to Jaxson (just a lame way to spell an Earth name) who was the officer who started the slave rebellion and set them free. Just a disclaimer of sorts in case you need a refresher. I realize that was a while ago and probably sounds out of the blue at the end but just roll with it! As I said, it's a stupid chapter!!
> 
> I'm just gonna post it now, but expect the next chapter to come by tomorrow or sooner because I just need to tighten up the screws and then I'll reveal it to you. Hehe
> 
> Oh, and try not to freak out (because I totally did) but check out this amazing mood board semperfidani made for our story!! You are a mega space babe!!  
> 

 Finn can hardly believe it. He can hardly comprehend the sight they had just witnessed from the holoprojector. The whole hangar cheers and rejoices as they watch Ben and Rey huddled on the floor of Hux’s quarters, cradling their daughter between them.

 _They won_...They won and Lorelei was safe.

It almost feels too good to be true. But then Rose is nearly suffocating him in her embrace and his ears ring from the absolute incredible volume of the other troopers. It makes his heart overload with relief and as he looks to Maz who was now smiling, her hands brushing away tears. She looked like the hope had ignited again, as they all had seen it spark for themselves.

That's how he knows it was real.

RC announces, after speaking to VN at the bridge, that they were nearly at Coruscant. This was nearly over.

Maz fumbles on the floor, trying to find the comlink Ben and Rey had dropped. She wants to call ahead to the Resistance and tell them the news. But as she is nearly toppled by the cheering crowd, it presents a danger to the small woman and she settles for just celebrating with them.

There will be time to tell them once they arrived. It seemed to be all over now.

* * *

Officer Bravis is disgusted.

As he looks all around, he sees the troopers rejoice. They are celebrating the destruction of the First Order.

Bravis had been apprehended as a loyalist early in the battle. He was never well equipped with a blaster and had been dragged to one of the lower levels, closer to the stormtrooper recreation levels. He, along with other loyalists, were expecting that once Hux announced he had the child in his custody, this madness would stop. But somehow, Kylo and that woman had defeated him and now, the nightmare continues.

And he doubts that anyone loyal to the FIrst Order and their ideals will be treated with any respect. The number of those who shared those said ideals were vastly outnumbered though Bravis would rather die than succumb to some Resistance fueled system. Some miserable concoction of another New Republic brewing in the midst of all this...all this hope!

Bravis fixates on that one thought though. He would rather die than answer to these seemingly juvenile anarchists.

After Hux had told the traitors to stand down and cease their rebellion, Bravis had been released from the makeshift brig that he had been dragged to. None of them dared to even glance at him then, all too wary of what might happen to the child should they try anything.

But that time has passed. Now, Bravis was wandering among the halls, trying to not look suspicious and monumentally pissed off as he passed the many faces of troopers, all without their helmets, cheering and crying for their success.

How pitiful…

He knew if no one else was going to take action at this point, then perhaps was now the time. True, he was admittedly an analyst and not quite a man of action that his quest required. But seeing as the endless display of faces of troopers who had abandoned their helmets to cry or laugh or cheer like this was some kind of party, he realizes none of them had the finesse to do anything, much less stage an uprising, and yet they had. If these fumbling idiots could summon such a task, surely Bravis could do so as well.

He makes his way to where he thinks he can do the most damage. He avoids the busier hallways and manages to get into a lift, seemingly without suspicion.

Whereas the Supremacy had thirty-two engines, the Ascendancy had forty-eight. There was no way he could compromise all of them. There was no way he could even get help from anyone else. He wasn’t sure who he could trust now so he had to do it himself.  And even if he ruined a good eight or so engines before he was caught, the Ascendancy would likely still land safely, even if a little strained.

But there were also several fusion reactors on board. If he set off just one of them it would be equivalent to half of its engines combusting all at once and the ship would likely fall apart at the seams.

And it would take plenty of these traitors with it.

Bravis thinks that if he were to wait until they arrived to Coruscant, he might be able to bring destruction upon the Resistance awaiting there and the thousands of slaves rioting as well.

When he arrives at one of the reactors, he slowly begins increasing the energy, enough to make it start to unstabilize. He waits with a sickening grin on his face as he slowly watches it tremble and shake within its chamber.

He looks down to the control panel he stood before. It shows that they are still in hyperspace. As soon as they were clear, he was going to give it everything this reactor was capable of and light this ship up.

He had nothing to live for, so he’ll just have to find something to die for.

“For the First Order,” he whispers under his breath right before the computer chirps in arrival to their destination.  

* * *

VN is speaking over the comlink with RC down in the hangar. Judging by the words of comfort they share, Mitaka wonders if they are together. A peculiar concept at first as he wonders how they managed something of the sort in the suffocating ranks of the First Order. But as he looks back at the image of Kylo and Rey hugging on the screen, he realizes it isn’t as inconceivable as he thought.

Mitaka unbuttons the top buttons of his collar and gets a series of pats on the back by the other officers while they rejoice and embrace each other. It all seems natural for them whereas Mitaka feels a little awkward, unsure what to do so he settles for polite nods and a sheepish smile while he takes a deep breath.

He decides to let the little family have their privacy, turning off the broadcast to give them a true moment to themselves. He notices then how the computer beeps in near arrival. They’ll be dropping out of lightspeed any moment now and he sees how the other officers rush to their posts so they can land the ship and they’ll be free of this miserable place forever. This filthy temple of which Hux had made for himself by the hands of slaves.

As the ship leaves the swirling blue tunnels of lightspeed and the curvature of Coruscant comes into view, Mitaka can’t help but smile. He’s never had the luxury of such vast opportunity before and he actually feels excited for the first time in so long...possibly in his life.

And before he could even entertain himself with his new possible options, he’s suddenly thrown against the ground. His face hits the steel and he grunts in pain while he can hear others do the same. He also hears every sensor the ship could possibly have blaring and he looks up to see everything is flashing red. Everyone’s joyful voices returning to their former frantic shoutings from before.

“The third reactor has blown! It was the most central one, the ship is being ripped apart. We’ve already entered Coruscant’s gravity field. We’ll plummet for the surface with no way to steer it!” Mitaka hears a voice say.

“Someone find the projected crash site and notify the cities below!” Mitaka thinks it was VN who said that but he can’t see him at present.

“I got it!” Mitaka announces before trying to get to a computer. But then the whole bridges seems to shift and everyone slides along the floor.

“We need to get to the transports! We need everyone off the ship or we’ll all die!”

Mitaka shakes his head as he tries to maneuver his way to the emergency transports, his body aching from when he was thrown. He realizes he might have gotten his hopes up too soon. The computer shoots out it’s projected crash position and he breathes a small sigh of relief, at least for the billions of people below.

They were aimed for the western hemisphere where civilization and climate control were scarce and it remained as Coruscant’s actual undisturbed surface.

But as for the thousands on board, Mitaka is unsure if they could all get off in time.

* * *

 Maz is struggling not to go sliding down the floor that was quickly becoming the new wall as everyone panics. “We need to get to transports, now!” she says but only a few hear.

Luckily, they seem to have the same state of mind as she then hears another booming voice. “Everyone to the escape pods. Get as many people into each one as you can fit.”

The stormtroopers begin to act in a practiced fashion as they likely have been through plenty of evac drills. Still, it proves difficult as the ground shifts sideways and everyone begins to slide around. Maz is nearly trampled as she slid on the steel but she’s caught by Sadie, the trooper Finn and Rose befriended.

“We got to go!” Sadie says as she helps her along but Maz panics as she looks around for Finn and Rose. Maz spots them a moment later. They are holding tight to each other so as not to get separated. They catch sight of her and then head her way.

“Maz!” Rose bellows as it looks like Finn needs some help. He might have been wounded from the blast. Or at least that’s what Maz expected it to be, a blast. She, as well as everyone, has no idea what was actually going on, they all knew though that the ship was crashing and the only chance of survival was to get the kriff off.

And yet she panics most because she is unsure what the fate was of the family that was previously on the holoprojector. Ben and Rey had finally gotten their daughter back and now the ship was being ripped apart, judging by the increasing tilt of the floor.

As they help everyone to get loaded into transports, she knows Finn and Rose are having the same thoughts. She sees how Finn’s arm is bleeding pretty bad and she yells at them to get on a pod and head for Coruscant to get him to a medic.

“Rose, take him on board! We need to go!” Maz shouts.

“What about Ben and Rey? How are they gonna get off?” Rose asks.

Maz doesn't know how. She knew the throne room was near the top of the craft and there was no way they could get down to the hangar. She wasn’t about to lose them, but then she considers that they would feel the same.

They weren’t about to give up after they finally were all together again.

“They’ll be okay!” she shouts back at them, pushing Sadie into a transport by her knees.

Finn’s voice shouts back. “We don’t know that! They could die!”

  
Maz knows that. But she knows now that she would never doubt them. After what she just witnessed them accomplish in that throne room, it would take more than a crash to stop them. “If they can get out of that last clusterfuck, I know they’ll find a way for this one!”

Rose and Finn don’t seem totally convinced as they hesitate. And yet, they nod before limping forward, conjoined. Because they know exactly what she means. If Ben, Rey, and Lorelei could overcome everything this far, it would take a lot more to kill them at this point then this.

Nervously, they all load up into a transport and Maz really hopes she was right. They had to prevail. They couldn’t go through all this pain just to lose now.

* * *

There had been a tremendous quake as soon as they left hyperspace and now they could feel their stomachs start to sink as they undoubtedly were descending, or rather crashing, for Coruscant.

Rey has Lorelei held tight against her chest as Ben practically carries them both out of Hux’s quarters. “We need to find his escape craft,” Rey says and Ben nods, his hands holding them close. She knows she could walk herself but they needed to hurry and the wound on her leg wouldn’t afford them the quickness they needed.

Ben takes them further down the hallway and they find a small and pretentious looking ship to match Hux’s quarters. Red interior included. Ben might have scoffed if their survival wasn’t threatened...again!

They make it to the cockpit and he sets Rey and Lorelei down in the co-pilots seat, Lei’s frightened whimpers back in full effect and Rey tries to calm her down. Her voice is somehow stable in the midst of the chaos. As Ben straps himself in the pilot’s seat, he finds himself comforted by Rey’s voice too. The voice he had missed so much.

Preparing the engines, his hands not as shaky as he would expect them to be, he ejects the ship from the dock of the Ascendancy and speeds away as fast as the small craft was capable of.

As they find themselves clear of the ships destruction and its ferocious path to the planet’s surface, he hears Rey scoff a little, nearly a chuckle. He turns his head to look at her, finally able to breathe again. “What?” he asks her, his eyes looking first at her and then at the little girl curled against her chest.

“We never seem to catch a break, do we?” she says, looking at him with tired eyes.

It shouldn’t be as funny as it is. “I noticed that, too,” Ben laughs and she joins him. Perhaps because it was so accurate. Perhaps because no matter how many times they found themselves in peril, they persisted.

Ben wishes to just bask in the glow of his family but the ship demands his attention so his eyes look back out of the dash as he heads for Coruscant, seeing the trail of thousands of other escape transports. He feels Rey’s hand reach for him and brushes through his hair and it comforts him immensely.

* * *

The sight of the Ascendancy getting ripped apart resulted in tremendous celebration all over the planet as they watched it crash in the far lands. The liberated slaves rejoiced as the ship they were forced to build was destroyed. The reason they were stolen from their homes had crashed. A promise of their freedom. 

For the city’s closer to the crash, the power is disrupted an only a few reserves are running to keep up with the inevitable broadcast of the ordeal. Billions cheering to see Hux’s throne in ruins.

The Resistance members that watched along, however, were nervous and quiet as they hoped the transports spewing from the ship meant their friends were safe. Unsure if Rey had been rescued.

Chewie and Waroo hold off their celebrations as well as they surge forward in the Falcon, headed for the transports that were landing a fair distance from the fallen Ascendancy. They had been so nervous when they couldn’t get a hold of Maz. They had been even more so when their paranoid fueled minds encouraged them to comm Malla and Poe to ensure Lei was alright. But they didn’t get an answer then either.

It has them both rattled of what it could mean and they are scared of what they might find who survived in these transports. Terrified of what might have happened and second-guessing all their plans.

They are followed by the other ships of the Resistance and a whole brigade of medical vehicles and even a collection of media and press cruisers trying to get a glimpse of the destruction.

They find a clearing to land and rush down the ramp, assisting anyone who needed help to make their way to the medics, but all the time, their eyes were peeled, trying to find any sign of their friends that had embarked on the same craft that was now a smoking mass of destruction in the barren land beyond the city. It was a miracle that it didn’t fall upon the populated area and Chewie is astounded at how many troopers have survived the ordeal. It is enough to give him hope that somewhere, he would stumble upon the rest of their tribe.

Kaydel and the rest of the Resistance fan out, doing what they can to help. All as desperate as Chewie and Waroo to discover the fate of their friends.

The General is going to each pod, her eyes hoping to see a familiar face but still glad to see the faces of so many unmasked troopers. So many survivors though she knows many were likely lost as well.

By the time she was getting really nervous, however, she hears her name called by a familiar voice. “Kay!” Kaydel turns with a hopeful gasp leaving her chest. It was Rose’s voice. She spins all around until she sees Finn and Rose limping towards her.

“Finn! Rose! You’re alive!” she beams and rushes over, wrapping her arms around them. She sees Maz a little ways behind them, her head craning everywhere she can look, searching. Kaydel feels a rock settle in her gut as she knows she must be looking for Ben and Rey. They weren’t here.

Kaydel pulls back, looking them over and she can tell they have much to share, but by the looks of it, Finn needs a medic so she wraps Finn’s other arm around her shoulder and Kaydel and Rose try to get him to the nearest site. Maz joins them, her eyes watching the skies.

Kaydel looks at them, her anxiety gets the best of her though and she can’t help but ask, “What happened?”

Finn winces as the droid injects him with something so Rose answers. “Hux is dead.”

Kaydel’s eyes go wide. “He’s dead? Really?”

Finn nods, “Along with the rest of the knights too.”

“Ben and Rey?” Kaydel asks next. Finn and Rose share a look that puts Kaydel on edge. “Are they alive?”

“We think so. They probably took Hux’s escape craft. The three of them were in his quarters,” Rose says.

Kaydel shakes her head in confusion. “What do you mean the three of them?”

Rose speaks then, Finn’s eyes cast down. “They got Lorelei.”

Kaydel’s heart seems to stop breathing. “T-They went to Arkanis?” The two nod. “Then what happened to…” she stops herself. She already knows the answer. Malla and Poe were dead and she feels tears gather in her eyes. Despite all of Poe’s cockiness, he was still her friend. But now he was gone.

“Is...is Lorelei…?” Kaydel doesn’t know how to ask what has become of the baby. Finn and Rose share that same look again and Kaydel isn’t sure what to expect.

“They got her back. They defeated the knights and killed Hux. But after the ship blew, we don’t know what happened.” Finn sounds like he’s going to cry. “We need to find them. They could be hurt.” The droid gives him a bacta patch on his side and Finn stands back to his feet. Rose tries to push him back down but he insists he’s fine. Because he’s right. They need to find the family soon before their frantic nerves get the best of them.

And then they see another ship fly overhead. Most of the other transports had landed by now and this one looks different from the others. Sleek and pompus by nature and they suspect it is Hux’s escape craft. Logically, the only one Ben and Rey could have taken.

“It’s them!” Rose cheers and sprints forward, her heart beating out of her chest. She hears the moans of two wookiees from the side. Chewie and Waroo joining them in their charge and desperate to see for themselves who resided in the craft that was landing.

* * *

 As Ben lands the ship, they see some familiar faces running for them. Ben stands, kneeling before Rey to help her get out of the confines of the chair. Her arms occupied with Lei and her leg wounded. She looked so tired. She’s been through so much pain. They had beat her, tortured her, starved her, nearly froze her to death, and Ben is unsure of what else.

He kisses her quickly, grabbing her attention and they take a moment to breathe. Free from imminent danger once again and their foreheads pressed together, reveling in the presence of one another. “I love you,” Ben breathes out.

Rey smiles, “I love you,” she says back. Lei stirs in her arms trying to get their attention. Rey gives a small laugh, tears falling from her eyes as she looks down at the little girl. “We love you, too.” Rey kisses her hair as Ben runs a hand past the baby’s back.

“She saved us, Rey…” he breathes out, amazed at the small being.

Rey nods, “I know. I can hardly believe-” Rey begins but winces when the straps from the seat fall and one of the metal buckles land on the wound of her leg.

Ben looks to the angry mark on her thigh, carefully brushing around it with his fingers. He knows there will be plenty of time to talk later. For now, he had to get her the help she needed. “Come on, we need to get you to a medic,” he breathes out as he helps her to her feet, taking Lei into his free arm so Rey can rest most of her weight on him as he guides the three of them to the ramp.

“I’m...I’m fine, Ben,” Rey insists, her arm gripping to his shoulder for support. Her head is pounding but she speaks honestly. Admittedly, she thought she was going to die in that cell. In that throne room! But now, most of the physical pain she feels now is drained out by the surreal sense of being back with her family. It was more than she could have hoped for.

Ben lowers the ramp and the three of them squint in the sunlight. It’s the brightest planet they’ve been on in a long time. As their eyes adjust they see the crowd of people that raced over to see them. Jaws drop and everyone cheers out and rejoice at the sight of them.

“They’re alive!” Someone bellows and the message echos out. It results in the roar of celebration seeming to span the entire planet.

* * *

Quark knows something is happening because he’s never seen his mother like this. Last night, his dad didn’t come home from work at all and although he thought his mom was upset, she was just really quiet as she watched the news.

It had turned off for a while, along with the rest of their power, but after a while, things flickered back on. His mom's eyes glued to the news again.

The place where his dad worked had apparently had something of an accident. The people Supreme Leader Hux had kept to build his big ship were released and fighting against the workers trying to hurt them.

“Is daddy going to be okay?” Quark asked his mom before bed last night.

“He will be. He’s doing something important,” she said.

“Is..is he the one trying to keep those people from going back home?” Quark asked, unsure if his father would do that. He felt like he didn’t know him very well.

His mom shook her head. “He’s the one trying to help them get home.”

It was what Quark thought about as he went to sleep, comforted by the actions of his father.

But now, it was far into the next day, and his mom hadn’t budged from watching the holonet in their living room. He had never seen his mother sit on the couch for so long, and had been so quiet for so long.  

So when he hears her gasp and call him back into the room, Quark rushes over. “What, mommy?”

“Look, quickly. Look who it is!” She points to the image before her.

Quark looks to the screen and sees Kylo Ren with the Rey. She wasn’t in chains anymore but she looked like she had been hurt a little as Kylo kept a hand in her waist. And then in his other arm, he was holding a small baby.

The baby they had all heard about but never seen. She was real.  

“Mommy, it’s the baby! She’s okay!” Quark looks over to see his mom is crying but smiling at the same time. He’s never seen the two emotions at once before and he’s confused until he sees her laugh.

She must be so happy that she was crying.

“I see her, Quark.”

“She has her mommy back. They’re a family again!” Quark cheers, hoping that his father would be home soon so they could be a family again too.

“It’s amazing,” his mother whispers. 

“Amazing,” he repeats. He doesn’t remember hearing his mom use that word before but it sounds good enough to use. He chants it as he skips around the living room. “Amazing! Amazing!”

Unie couldn’t care less if their neighbors could hear her son laugh and run around their apartment. This was a time to rejoice.

A time of freedom. A time for hope to flourish and prosper once again instead of trying to survive in the shadows.

* * *

 Every holo device and screen in the galaxy had the same image. As the little family walked forward and the troopers cheered for them, they could see for themselves it was all true. Kylo Ren and the supposed Jedi, Rey, had a child. A daughter, and a beautiful one at that.

The headlines were a total mess for hours after the crash on Coruscant. Most stations sharing only speculated rumors. But after a while, the story became straight and everyone knew what really happened.

Hux was dead.

Hux was the man who watched fondly as the entire Hosnian system was obliterated. He was responsible for the deaths of more people in this galaxy than possibly anyone throughout history.

And now his reign of tyranny was over. His royal guards, known as the Knights, had fallen as well. The planets that had been under the oppressive siege of their orders and investigations were liberated. The hundreds of thousands of citizens ripped away from their homes could now expect the return of their people.

That image of the small family huddled together quickly became the symbol of hope that trillions clung to. It was all they had of them really because almost as soon as they appeared, they seemed to vanish again which of course sparked plenty of new rumors. But the one rumor most settled on was that after the hell they had been through, they wanted some time to themselves and some well-deserved privacy.

Some suggested that once everything settled down, Kylo and Rey would rule the First Order themselves. Seemingly an Emperor and Empress. Others debunked that immediately and said the First Order died with Hux and the destroyed Ascendancy. The last thing they would want to do is continue with the Order after all it had done to their family and the families of so many galaxy wide.

Other rumors suggested that the New Republic would resume again. It would not be everyone’s first choice but in the realm of politics, it was obvious that total agreement was never going to happen. At least with the Senate returned, people would be able to voice their opinions once again and work together to build the galaxy forward, stepping away from the treacherous path Hux had set in place and trying to heal what he had broken. 

But Hux was gone now, and it was time for everyone to step forward. To reach for a better life. A better galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blurg, I'm lamé...
> 
> Anyways..."Catalyst" is probably one of my top 3 Star Wars novels because I love anything Erso/Rogue One related. In that book, the research facility where Galen is researching the kyber crystal shit is with a facility in the western hemispheres of Coruscant where there's no climate control or cities. I think it's just grassland and empty spaces of the planet's actual surface that sounds fairly uninhabited. So, I tried to cut everyone a break and have the Ascendancy crash where it would do the least damage. Convenient or lazy writing, you decide. 
> 
> Maybe three chapters left and we're done babes!
> 
> If you have any questions or you notice any inconsistencies, let me know. This shit is long and far out of my control!!


	42. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I was all like, "yeah expect that chapter tomorrow," literally like two hours ago? Welp, I caved and now we get this. I'm impatient and if I'm being honest I've neglected every aspect of my life for the past two days so I could try to finish this fucking story!!
> 
> There might be just one more chapter before the final chapter because what should have been the second half of this chapter has been pushed elsewhere due to the fact that this got too fucking long! Everything has gotten too fucking long at this point though.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.  
> 

Almost as soon as Ben and Rey were exposed to the galaxy, they realized they had to step away from it. They didn't like Lorelei being exposed to all the attention. The cameras and the holos. The endless reporters that tried to exploit their privacy for entertainment or tabloids making them uneasy.

They pushed it all away, accepting instead the warm reunions of their friends and thanking as many troopers as they could for their help. Most of the troopers though ended up thanking them, specifically Rey. Telling her how her words of strength gave them strength.

She’s lost as to what words they were referring to, but as Ben waits with her in the medbay, he explains that a rebel stormtrooper broadcasted her words of defiance to Xid and Soldar. She inspired a revolution everywhere.

Rey can hardly believe it.

They have Lei checked over too, worried her outbursts could have hurt her in some way even though they can’t sense anything wrong with her. But she's fine and they can hardly believe it. 

As soon as Rey was cleared from the medbay, they were eager to get clear of the ordeal. The family ate a quick meal in the makeshift hospital before they snuck off Coruscant with Chewie and Waroo in the Falcon. They knew they needed to return to Arkanis and find what they could of Malla and Poe.

The two wookiees had been so relieved to see Ben, Rey, and Lorelei safe when they stepped out of that escape craft, but it also felt like a blow to the chest. At Lei’s appearance, they realized that Malla had likely been killed.

They remained fairly quiet though and just as they gave Ben and Rey time alone with their daughter on the ride over to the rainy planet, Ben and Rey suspected that Chewie and Waroo needed the time to themselves too. Some silence and the comfort of each other as they try to process what’s most likely taken place. It is a hard thing to come to terms with for all of them.

Ben and Rey remain on the bed, Lorelei sleeping between them. It brings them back to the first few days after Lei was born when they fled from Takodana and spent most of the time on the bed in the back of the Epoch Swift, watching the little baby in wonder as if she was a dream.

They do that now, amazed that after so much, she was still real. She was still with them. She was the reason they were still breathing.

But sleep overcomes them too, and they rest until they get to Arkanis. More deeply than any of them had been capable of since they were last sleeping in the small bedroom of their home on Lah’mu.

* * *

They arrive at the stormy planet to find the base. Upon entering the hangar, there is only Poe’s x-wing and the Epoch Swift Maz left behind. Maz, Finn, and Rose had taken a much smaller craft to sneak onto the Ascendancy so here the Epoch remained.

As they walk further into the hangar though, they find Poe’s body lying on the floor of the hangar, only a few feet away from what looked to be the body of a death trooper.

Ben kneels down, closing Poe’s eyes and letting him rest. Rey hovers over his shoulder, keeping Lei held tight in her arms as tears fall from her eyes. Poe was difficult at times, but to see him like this makes them both shudder. He didn't deserve this.

“Why did he stay behind? Why didn't he go to Coruscant?” Rey asks. The Poe she knew would have been the first one to show up and display his flying skills amidst the rescues.

Ben stands then, his eyes stalled on the body of the former General. He gives a heavy sigh before he answers Rey. “A lot happened when I arrived here with Lei. Not everyone was as relieved to see me as Finn and Rose were. Poe was pretty furious for a while.”

Rey nods, knowing what he meant. She knows first hand just how insistent Poe was that Ben was really the murderous Kylo Ren and he likely would have kept up that belief even when Ben showed up here with their daughter.

“He tested my patience, trying to coax out my anger to prove his point.” Ben thinks of how the punch meant for him was also felt by Lorelei but he doesn't go into that then. He doesn’t want to bring that up as they gaze at the man’s corpse. “But when I didn’t succumb to anger, or at least not the kind he was expecting, he seemed to reflect on his behavior and see that I wasn’t as sinister as he suspected. By then, the others had distanced themselves from him but he reached out to me, offered me his earnest apology. He helped me find a way to get to you…” Ben looks to Rey again, tears in his own eyes as he realizes all this man had done for him and his family. “So, when the Resistance started to depart for Coruscant, he made Kaydel the new General and told me he would stay here with Malla to help protect Lei.”

Poe’s arms were crossed over his chest as if he had been holding something as he died. As if he had Lorelei in his arms as he was killed. “He gave his life for her,” Rey breathes out, understanding washing over her. Immense gratitude for the man floods them both. Rey’s arms holding a little tighter to the baby in her arms, horrified at the events she had been witness to.

Chewie and Waroo let out a sorrowful moan as they watch on, paying their respects to the pilot in Shryiiwook.

* * *

They all head to the med bay next. Chewie and Waroo had wrapped Poe in some moving blankets and carried him to the Epoch Swift. They planned to take the bodies back to Kashyyyk for a proper tribal burial as well as get Maz her ship back.

They wander back into the base now, wary around every corner of what they might find. They see the doors of the med bay wide open and the destruction awaiting inside. Slowly, they go in. Already, whimpers escape the wookiees as they suspect what lies beneath the rubble. Ben sees their backpack in the disarray and grabs it. His sketchbook, the journal, and Kriffie still inside, among a few other things. He throws it over his shoulders as he helps Chewie and Waroo sift through the destruction. Rey stands to the side, offering her help in the force when she can but staying to the side, keeping hold of Lei. Her and Ben sharing somber glances all the while as they see Chewie and Waroo like never before.

They find Malla’s body beneath the destruction not too much later. All of them sob to see her chest had been crushed. The impact must have killed her instantly. Chewie pulls her limp body into his arms and hugs her close, moaning and whimpering her full name.

“My Mallatobuck. I will love you always, my wife,” he moans while Waroo cries beside him.

It becomes too much for Ben and Rey and they retreat to the hall where Chewie and Waroo can have a moment to themselves.  Some space to mourn for the loving mother, wife, and warrior that Malla was. Ben takes Lorelei into his arms as she cries. The baby is confused and distressed by the great sadness she feels from her parents and the wookiees.

The absence of Malla who Lorelei loved to snuggle against.

Ben pulls them further down the hallway, thinking they could use some air. But as they pass by the mess hall, Rey stalls as she looks in the doors. He follows her gaze to see all the destruction he inflicted on the room in his absolute rage. He’s ashamed to see what he had done when he felt so lost and terrified from Rey’s torture that had extended to him and Lei.

Rey looks to him, her eyes glassy from her tears as she stands in the open doorway to the destruction. She already knows this was not from the knights, but from him. “Was it bad?” she asks as if she could see the memory playing before her eyes. She knows it was Ben who did this and she knows it’s because of what happened the night Xid and Soldar tried to bridge their connection.

Ben doesn’t answer at first, hugging Lorelei close as he recalls just how hopeless he felt in those moments. He nods, more tears escaping his eyes. “Yes,” he breathes out.

Rey shuts her eyes tight. She almost doesn’t want to know. She doesn't want to hear how Ben and their daughter felt the extent of her pain because she wasn’t strong enough to keep it locked away. But then she feels how Ben’s hand holds her face, his thumb brushing away her tears. She opens her eyes to find his own, red as well. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough.”

Ben shakes his head vigorously, his brows furrowed suddenly as if offended by what she’s said. “No, Rey. You kept us safe. You sacrificed yourself to save us. You were there to protect our home when I wasn’t,” he sobs out. “You’re the strongest person I know. If I were stronger, I wouldn’t have…” he looks to the mess hall again, the chaos he inflicted. He can hardly even manage the words. “I wouldn’t have done this.”

Rey pushes to her toes and kisses him, trying to chase away his doubtful thoughts as well as hers. “It’s over now,” she whispers against his lips, trying to believe it herself.

Ben nods, pulling away only when Lorelei whimpers between them to soothe her, “Shh, it’s okay. We’re okay,” he tells her. Ben pulls them further down the hallway but he sees how Rey’s eyes still focus on something in the mess hall, her brows furrowed in confusion. “What is it?” he asks her.

“I can sense something else. It almost feels like…” her eyes go wide and she bites her tongue, unsure if she should speak it.

Ben knows well enough what it is, “Like Luke?” he finishes for her.

Rey’s eyes go wide. “Ben, was he–?”

“Yes. He was here. I spoke with him.”

“Y-You spoke with him?”

He nods, pulling her along back outside. “A lot’s happened since we left Lah’mu. Too much. I want to tell you, even if it’s hard to say.”

“I want to know,” she says back, clutching his hand tight and following him back into the misty Arkanis air.

* * *

Lorelei falls asleep as they make their way outside. She was so tired and Ben knows that after not sleeping well for a week, Lei finally has the chance to find some rest. Ben and Rey stay quiet until he leads them to the small bungalow Rey recalls staying in while she stayed on base. She realizes it was where they stayed too.

Ben looks at her as he steps inside, “We could sense traces of you here. This is where we wanted to stay, where we could feel close to you…” he says softly.

She steps in after him, seeing the mattress on the floor with the tent of blankets suspended above it. She sees how despite the despair they were in, Ben tried to make Lorelei as comfortable as possible here.

Ben kneels to the ground, laying the baby down on the mattress and blankets so she can sleep. He pulls the backpack from his shoulders and takes a deep breath. Rey leans over to brush past Lei’s hair and run her fingers past her round cheeks, reveling in the softness she feels.

She hears Ben lean back, sitting just beyond the edge of the little fort and Rey moves to join him, pressing against him as they watch their daughter sleep soundly for however long.

“Tell me, Ben,” she whispers.

Ben takes a breath. He knows there are plenty of things he could have started with, but he’s most anxious to tell her only one. “I spoke to my mom.”

Rey turns to him looking into his eyes, startled almost. “You talked to Leia?”

He nods. “I met up with Maz on Ach-To before she brought us here. I took Lei up to the hut where you stayed and where we first touched. It was there that my mother appeared to us.”

“What did she say?” Rey asks, her tears persistent.

“She told me that she knew I was going to get you back. She said she saw it in a vision. That I was going to find you and bring you home.” He pulls her closer then until she’s practically in his lap. Her hands roam over his back and comfort him in a way he doubted he would ever feel again and he presses his face into her hair, his tears getting lost in her tresses. “I told her I was sorry about my dad, but she didn’t even seem mad. Like she forgave me.” Ben struggles to keep his sobs concealed.

Rey sees the effect this has on him. “Ben.”

“She said she loved me,” he breathes out.

“Of course she does, Ben. She never stopped.”

“I don’t deserve–” he starts but Rey cuts him off, her hand holding fast to his hair so she could look in his eyes.

“You do. Believe you do.”

He just nods and becomes very quiet, his attention turns down as he runs his fingers past the scar of her thigh. The wound healed by bacta patches but the mark remaining. Still, the feel of her skin comforting and almost surreal. He can’t believe she’s here. He had spent hours sitting in this same exact room and fearing he would never see her again.

But now she’s here.

“What happened with Luke?” she asks, breaking the silence. Her curiosity and concern getting the best of her.  

Ben takes another deep breath. Trying to gather himself. “After I took Lei to the medbay that night and the connection between us closed again. I went to the mess hall, the darkness calling to me. I was panicked and scared and I thought I might have lost you both.” He is ashamed of the thoughts that consumed him then but he knows Rey won’t judge him for them. “I was tempted by the dark. I thought it could be strong enough to get you back because...I didn’t think that I was strong enough.”

Rey cries, tears falling quickly down her face, “Oh, Ben,” she breathes.

“But then he came to me. He told me if I reverted to the dark, my fate would be the same as Anakin’s. I already would have lost because I would have left the balance. I would have lost everything.”

“Did you...what did you do?” she asks, holding his face in her hands. She knows to see his uncle must have been hard on him. Speaking with him must have been difficult.

“I didn’t want to listen at first. But I knew he was right. He said I needed to stay in the balance and that no matter what, I wouldn't lose you. I would always have the memory of you forever within Lei. Within myself. He seemed to believe in me as his nephew and as Lei’s father. And I…” Ben starts, stopping himself.

Rey urges him to continue. “What? You what?”

“I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust him but I still...I still couldn’t forget what happened. I still felt afraid.”

“You don’t have to be, but I understand why you are. It’s okay, Ben.”

He nods, his face burying into her neck. His tears falling along her skin. “You make everything make sense. I felt so lost. I guess they were right, my mom and Luke.”

“But you did it, Ben. _You_ stayed in the balance, you saved me. We have her back...You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”

He’s heard her say these words to him before. “So are you,” he tells her, his voice soft and deep as they hold each other tightly. “So are you.”

Just then, Lei wakes up, rolling over and looking for her parents. “Hi, Lei,” Rey says and instantly, the little girl’s head spins and a smile splits her face.

“Ma...Mama.”

Rey gushes at the sound and moves from Ben’s lap to pick Lorelei up again. “I love that,” she tells Ben, even though he already knew. It brought out a certain feeling in them both that they felt when she first called Ben by his name.

"Mama," she says again.  

Ben melts. “Me too.”

Rey holds Lei up to look into her eyes, always in awe of how beautiful Ben’s eyes suit her. “Hello, my love.”

“Gnnngh,” Lei replies, making Ben chuckle.

* * *

 

Rey insists she needs to clean up, having not taken a shower since Lah’mu. She also insists that Lei bathe as well, wanting to wash away anyplace Hux or the knights might have touched her.

Rey starts the water, discarding her tattered robe and nightgown. Ben stands behind her, seeing some of the bruises that spanned all over her body. Guilt and remorse flooding him for a moment as he thinks how those bruises and wounds should have been his.

Hearing his thoughts, Rey reassures him. “It’s okay, Ben. They’ll heal.”

He nods, refusing the tears that tried to emerge as he pulled Lei out of her onesie. As Rey steps inside the shower, she waits with her arms held out, waiting for Ben to pass her Lorelei. As he does, the eight-month-old baby kicks her feet and giggles as she is passed over to her mother, sensing it was bath time. Ben’s heart lifts as he sees Lei’s interest in water has returned. He waits, sitting atop the small counter with a towel ready to dry Lei off when Rey was finished. He watches them with a genuine smile on his face as Lei’s happy shrieks fill the air.

The place in their minds that had ached for days in Rey’s absence has ceased.

Rey beams as she passes the wet baby back over to Ben and he wraps her with the towel, drying her off. “Hello, little Lei. All clean?” he asks her in a voice he hasn’t used since they were playing in their living room back home. He dries her off, speaking softly all the while as he notices Rey is still watching him from where she’s standing under the fall fo the water, but as he finds her eyes, he realizes she’s looking behind him. He turns to see the steam from the shower has made the image he left behind of Rey in the mirror emerge again.

“Oh yeah, I, uh...I made that the first night we got here,” he tells her, now looking at it with a more critical eye. “I didn’t get your nose right and I made your neck too long but it’s not the most forgiving medium. Or maybe a side effect of having not delicate enough fingers. I think I’ll stick to paper,” he jokes.

Rey steps out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself. Ben’s eyes take her in as she comes closer to look at the drawing of her in the glass. He doubts if it could even be considered a drawing. But she looks like she always does when she sees his work: amazed.

“It’s beautiful, Ben,” she tells him.

“If you say so,” he shrugs, his attention on drying Lei’s black curls but interrupted when Rey steps close enough that her nose touches his.

“I love it, Ben.” She kisses the corner of his mouth before taking the baby into her own arms again. “Get cleaned up. You’ll feel better,” she tells him as she steps out in search of a diaper and a clean onesie.

Ben knows what she means. He peels off his tunic and takes a whiff of his underarms, his eyes shutting tight at the smell there.

* * *

As Rey gets Lei dressed and wrapped up warmly again, she moves quickly to find something of her own she could wear. She finds some old clothes she left behind in a drawer and pulls them on. She was never picky about what she wore, but after getting used to wearing Maz’s handmade garments or her nightgowns, she has to admit that she didn’t quite like the combination. Still, they were clothes and better than walking around in a towel. She picks Lei back up and steps across the room and accidentally steps on the backpack Ben had left on the floor.

She sits down, cross-legged, placing Lei on her lap and fishes inside, hopefully finding...“Here he is. Captain!” She pulls out the tooka doll and passes him to Lei, keeping Captain Kriffie’s full name to herself.

Lei reaches for him, her mouth instantly latching on to his head and slobbering all over him. As Lei keeps herself busy in her lap, she tries to see what else Ben managed to grab from home. She relieved to see his sketchbook. All of his renderings of Lei preserved and safe within the bag. She wonders what became of the other one. Their private one. She'll have to ask him later. 

She also sees their journal. She had totally forgotten about it. They had started it, thinking they could record their knowledge of the balance and the bond. Something useful to them where the Jedi texts were not. But they hadn’t made any additions to it since before she got pregnant if she recalls correctly. 

As Lei babbles in her lap she flips through the pages. She finds that Ben had added more but as she finds the new additions, she realizes it wasn’t so much observation of the balance or the force, but a message he left behind for Lei.

 

_My Dear Lorelei,_

_You are too young right now to understand this but regardless, I need you to know, one way or another, just how much your mother and I love you._

_Tomorrow, I will leave you with Malla, in hopes of finding your mother and bringing her back to us. We trust Malla with our lives and she’s part of our family. She loves you very much and wants to keep you safe as much as we do._

_Honestly, I’m scared and I know I should be sleeping, but I’m afraid to close my eyes. I’m trying to look at you as much as I can because you give me strength. You give me the strength I know I will need to find your mother._

_I’m not sure what you know of who I was or what my past was like before I met your mother, but I admit I was not a good man. I was lost, conflicted, angry, and broken. I was scared of everything so I pushed everything away. It was not until I met Rey that I realized I didn’t have to. Love was not a weakness but my greatest strength._

_There are no words to describe the love I feel for Rey. She has saved my life many times, most of all from myself. She’s the strongest person I’ve ever met as well as the most nurturing. She grew up as a scavenger on Jakku, waiting for a family that would never come. A family that did not deserve her and sold her off to satisfy their own selfish desires. She lived an impossible life in the sands and the heat. And yet, she not only survived, but she persisted. She held so much hope for so long based on so little. But no one came for her. It is why I need to go to her now. I know that were it not for her, I would have died long ago. I owe her everything because she's given me everything._

_She gave me you._

_When we found out we were going to have a baby, one of our greatest fears was that you would be hurt as we were hurt as children. We never wanted you to experience the pain and loneliness we felt growing up and it kills me to think that you could be feeling that as you read this now. But if we are no longer with you, you must understand that it was only to keep you safe. I’m writing this now so in case everything goes wrong and we don’t make it back, never doubt that you are loved more than anything else in this galaxy. All that’s happened, should it turn out this way, was only because we were trying to protect you. We only wanted you to have the chance to live free of that pain._

_And further, it’s only happened the way it has because I failed to keep our family safe when it mattered most. Although others try to convince me otherwise, I know it was my fault your mother was taken. She sacrificed herself to save us both and I will never be able to apologize enough for that. If I could go back and take her place, I would. Anything to spare her from the pain she’s felt and the pain you’ve been in since her capture. And should we fail to return to you now, it is because I failed to get her back. If I have failed as a father, know that I curse myself and nothing gives me more pain than to know I have hurt you in such a way. Just like how my chest aches to know that with her abduction, I failed your mother._

_I see so much of your mother in you. Even now, as small as you are, I see the Rey in you. And just like your mother, you have great power within you Lei. It amazes your mom and me but I admit it also scares me. You are much younger than I was when the force first awoke in me, and even then, I fell to the dark and became a shell of who I was. I became the monster I thought I had to be._

_No matter how desperate things seem, there’s always light somewhere. Your grandmother said once that hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night. Sweetheart, should it ever seem so bleak and hopeless that you consider to give in to the darkness, I beg of you to make it through the night. I beg of you to believe in hope when all seems lost. When I thought all I had was gone and I had ruined everything, it was only then did I find your mother again. My beacon of hope._

_It is the same hope that will guide me until I can hold you and Rey both in my arms again._

_I’m terrified of all I have to lose because it’s all that matters to me. You two are all I need. But now, I am the one trying to make it through the night, clinging to that hope and trying to believe that I will find her. I will bring her back to us._

_Believing in hope at the darkest times seems impossible, but I believe you can do it. If I, of all people, could find it, I know you can too._

_Nothing gives me more joy than being your father. Nothing in my life has ever compared to seeing you grow, to hear you call me by my name, or to see you cradled in your mother’s arms. Nothing has ever made me happier than those first months of your life we spent on Lah’mu. I know a man such as myself was not worthy of the happiness you and your mother brought me, but I will forever hold you both in my heart, hoping that someday I might deserve the love you’ve taught me. I will give everything I have to protect the light you both have shown me. The balance that exists between us is our forever home. If we are lost to you in life, you can find us there._

_And know that no matter what you become, or what your choices may be, even if you fall to the dark, understand that I will always be proud of you. Believe me when I say that no matter where your life goes that you deserve to be happy. You deserve love. You deserve to live the most beautiful and full life._

_I hope more than anything that I can give it to you. If I can’t, I’m sorry, Lei. I’m so sorry._

_We love you always, Lorelei. Never, never forget it._

_-Dad_

 

Rey is practically sobbing as she comes to the end. Unknowingly, her tears fall on the paper just as Ben’s had when he wrote it. All she knows is that Ben had written the most heartbreaking and sincere letter to their daughter should she ever find herself alone and scared. He wrote this to give her comfort and remind her that no matter what, she wasn’t alone. It somehow manages to rip her heart in two and put it back together at the same time.

Ben felt a great sadness from the bond. At least he thinks it was sadness. It felt like a whole whirlwind of emotions. He bolts out of the fresher, soaking wet, with a towel around his waist to see Rey sitting on the floor. Lei is playing with Kriffie in her lap but Rey is clutching something to her chest and as he crouches down beside her, he sees the journal in her hands.

He knows she’s read the message he left behind for Lei. The one he left for her in case they didn’t come back. The letter to let her know they didn’t abandon her.

“Rey?” he croaks.

She hardly knows what to say, but she is quick to point out the one thing he got wrong. “You never failed me, Ben,” she tells him, her tears falling again.

Ben’s lip quivers, his eyes clouding over. He shakes his head slowly. “I have, Rey.”

She takes hold of his face, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “No, Ben. You haven’t. You deserve this. Believe me.”

Ben closes his eyes, the tears falling down his cheeks, along the ridge of his scar. He nods, pressing his lips together, trying to keep a sob from escaping him. “Okay,” he manages. At his response, Rey pulls him against her, ignoring the fact he was still wet from the shower. Lorelei between them seems oblivious as she continues to slobber over the tooka doll.

When they pull away a while later, it is only because Rey realizes that he’s only in a towel and likely cold so she lets him go so he can get dressed. She doesn’t really pay attention to where he’s finding clothes, rereading some of her favorite parts again.

“It’s beautiful, Ben. If this is all she had to keep hold of us...I don’t know how to say it. It just feels right. She knows we love her. She knows we’re proud, no matter her choices. She knows she deserves everything. She knows to have hope.”

Ben speaks from across the room where he’s pulling pants on. “It’s probably a mess. I was crying when I wrote it.”

“It’s damn well near poetry and I won't hear anything else against it, understood?” she says to him, wiping at her eyes.

Ben kneels beside her once again, fully clothed. “Understood,” he says, his attention now on wiping away the drool on the baby’s chin with his thumb.

“Thank you,” Rey says, setting the journal back in the backpack before turning to look at him. Her eyes go wide when she sees what he’s wearing. “Ben, a-are those your father’s clothes?”

Ben looks down at himself, the clothes in question, “Yeah,” he tells her. “Chewie said they were the only things on base in my size. I have a feeling he was just messing with me on that, though.”

Rey laughs, the tears finally clearing as she plays with his collar and looks for herself. “I like it. They suit you.”

He gives a sheepish smile. “I have to admit, this jacket is growing on me. It’s no cape, but you know, I think I can adapt.”

Rey gives a laugh. A real laugh and Ben thinks it might be the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. He dives then, kissing her tenderly. Lorelei babbles between them on Rey’s lap and when they pull away, Ben brings the baby into his own arms. He kisses her black hair, now freshly cleaned and smelling sweet.

“She’s so strong, Rey,” he breathes out, his eyes studying the little girl against him. “In the throne room, she saved us. With Hux, she saved herself.”

“I know,” Rey says, running a hand past her small back, admiring the soft onesie beneath her fingers.

“I know that should scare us, but we would have died if it weren't for her. I think she could sense our fear and she channeled it somehow to attack what was trying to hurt us.”

“And she didn’t hurt herself,” Rey adds.

“And she didn’t hurt herself,” Ben repeats, totally in awe. “I can’t even fathom how insane it is.”

Rey worries for a moment of all the encroaching possibilities that lie in their future. Lei didn’t hurt herself this time, but what if she did when she was older? But she takes a deep breath, holding closer to her family. She knows that they will have to take these things as they come. They will teach her as best they can so she can make her own choices and live her life the way she wants. They will give her the tools she needs to make that possible.

Because she was their daughter, and no matter what, they would protect her and they would be there for her...always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have cried twice while writing this story. The first time was when I wrote Leia's conversation with Ben on Ach-To. Partly because it was something I know we'll never get to see since Carrie passed. It was important to me that Ben had a talk with his mother and that he comes to terms with some of that. 
> 
> The second time I cried was when I wrote Ben's message to Lorelei that Rey reads here. Literally, I was tearing up just typing it but then I read over it and full on fucking tears came out of my face!! I have officially lost control of my life. I am consumed by fanfiction, send help!! That being said, I haven't had a clear view of it that's not overly emotional so if there are any obvious mistakes or it seems to flow weird, I apologize. It just killed me.
> 
> And just a quick "why no epix title" rant...Where the fuck is it J.J. I need something to hold on to! I need something new to obsess over! But honestly, not that I'm one to believe rumors (lol, yes I am) but holy shit, if this movie ends up being called "The Balance of the Force" I will shit myself, but you know in a good way...I would say I predicted that a year ago but I'm pretty sure that's like every Reylo's headcanon IX title at this point, am I right?


	43. Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve really shot myself in the foot with these one word chapter titles. ‘Live’ is like just a generic way to describe what they’re trying to do here I guess, lol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We start off with Malla and Poe's funeral...how chipper. 
> 
> There's a lot going on in this chapter. That's probably why it's near 8,000 words. I hope it's not too overwhelming and that you enjoy it. I go into way too much depth about all of it in the endnotes so you know I'm insane.
> 
> I. Love. Every. Fucking. One. Of. You.

The ceremony for Malla and Poe took place in Rwookrrorro. It is an inland tree city of Kashyyyk and also Malla’s birthplace. Among the tall wroshyr trees, the forest holds a peaceful resting place for fallen warriors. Many wookiees rest there as well as many friends and allies from all over the galaxy.

Several of the wookiees from Malla and Chewie’s extended family stood before the graves, speaking of Malla’s bravery. Her loyalty. Her affectionate yet protective nature. And although many of them did not know Poe, they spoke highly of him. Praising the pilot for his sacrifice and devotion to protecting “young Solo” as they call Lorelei.

Kaydel stands up to say some words about them, thanking Malla for her strength. And then when she speaks of Poe, she can't help but roll her eyes.

“This man drove me crazy. He was arrogant and impulsive and insane…” she shakes her head, wiping some tears away. “And yet he was one of my greatest friends and I will miss him and his absolute infuriating personality...Because he was Poe, and Poe always came to his senses when it mattered most. And I couldn’t be more proud of him now.” She finishes stepping away as composed as she can before Rose wraps her in a big hug.

Maz and Rose follow next, saying kind words and tearing up. Rey wipes away at her face with her free hand. Her other arm holding Lei close and amazed at how quiet she was being.

Finn gets up next. They all know his understanding of Shryiiwook is not the best but he’s trying hard to keep up with everything. He knows how to charm everyone by complimenting Malla and staying very composed.

But just as Kaydel had, he turns to Poe’s grave. His eyes downcast. “Poe was the first person I had ever met to show me kindness. He was the first person in this galaxy that helped me believe in myself. He...he was my best friend and he helped me realize I could make a difference. You don’t just have to take it,” he shakes his head looking down. His hands looking down at the leather jacket on his body.

“This is Poe’s jacket. He let me keep it and even patched it up for me once,” Finn chuckles. “Where he learned to sew I have no idea.” Everyone gives a quiet laugh, helping him breathe a little easier.

“Sometimes, friends don’t get along. Sometimes we’re different and he drove me crazy,” Finn looks over to Ben and Rey then. Admiring how easily they lean against each other and how lovely their daughter looks between them. They had been so different, and yet so similar. They overcame and found each other in an otherwise hopeless situation. “But in the end, he was still that pilot that helped me think we could take on the First Order by ourselves, and for that, I owe him everything. Through the Resistance, I found my real family.” He looks to Rose then and sees she’s crying. “Poe wanted a better galaxy for all of us and he wanted to help make that happen. And even though it’s taken him from us, he really did. He made this galaxy a better place. He gave his life to protect the girl who in a sense saved us all. He’s a hero.”

Where the humans and Maz clap, the wookiees seem to howl in his honor.

As Finn steps away, the floor to speak is open again. Ben looks to Rey and she nods. They had spoken on the ride over if what they would like to say and they both step forward now.

The attention of everyone trained on the young parents, particularly the little girl held tenderly in her mother’s embrace.

Ben looks at Lei, admiring how beautiful she looks in Rey's arms. He reaches out, brushing her hair behind her ear. “This is our daughter. Lorelei Solo.” Ben starts.

At the sound of the name, the company of wookiees calls out, repeating the name _Solo_ in their language. Meant to honor the Solo tribe as part of their own.

“She is our greatest joy and we would give anything to keep her safe. Malla and Poe also went to those lengths for her and gave everything they had, trying to keep her safe…” Ben nearly chokes. “And we will never be able to repay the impossible price they had to give.”

Rey speaks up then, wanting to give Ben a moment to collect himself. “Chewie and his family kept me safe here on Kashyyyk when I was pregnant. I spent every day with Malla. She was the mother that taught me, in my frightened and nervous and hormonal state, that my baby was going to be okay. Malla made me feel the way I suspect most children feel with their mother; she made me feel safe. She helped me trust myself enough to know that when my own baby came, I could be a mother too. She helped me realize I didn't have to be so afraid of becoming what I had never known.”

She feels Ben’s hand brush past her back, giving her the strength to keep going. “She was nurturing and loving and I wish she could be here now so I could thank her for everything she’s given me.”

Lorelei babbles then, moving in her mother’s arms so she was right beside her face, confused by the wetness there. “Mama, gah ba na,” she says, almost sounding like a question. Sounding like a reassurance that she was alright, perhaps sensing the grief in her.

Everyone melts a little and Rey smiles at her, kissing her cheeks. It helps her to finish what she needs to say. “These were two true friends. Loyal until the end, and I will forever miss them, wishing I could thank them for their sacrifice. I wish they could see for themselves that the daughter they died to protect wasn’t lost. Their death was not for nothing.”

Ben watches as tears race down Rey’s face. He pulls her into his chest, trying to keep his composure as he attempts to finish what he started.

“To my understanding, in wookiee culture, a life debt is formed when someone saves the life of another. Chewie had a life debt for my father. I saw first hand the level of devotion he kept in repaying that debt to him, as well as to the rest of my family…” Ben can hardly manage the words. Chewie swore to protect him too, even when it contradicted his debt to Han. It makes his side ache. The scar left behind from the bowcaster on the night he killed his father. Chewie could have easily killed him then but didn’t. Ben knows he has caused this wookiee so much pain, and still, he remains loyal to their family. Loyal to the Solo name that started with Han.

“But now, it is clear that Rey and I are just as indebted to you and your family as you insist you are to ours. Lei is our life. Malla and Poe lost their own in their attempts to protect her and we are forever indebted to them. Anything you, your family, or your tribe-”

Chewie interrupts him briefly with a strangled moan, correcting him. “ _Our_ tribe. It is your tribe, too.”

Ben gives him a smile, “Anything _our_ tribe needs, we’ll be there.”

Chewie and Waroo step forward then, enveloping them in a tight hug with their long fuzzy arms. They moan and cry and keep them huddled between them. The family’s tears falling into their fur.

When they hear Lorelei babble again they pull back, eager to look at her. Chewie’s eyes ask the question before his mouth can and Rey nods, passing him the small human baby. Impossibly beautiful. Impossibly strong. She gives a sweet little laugh as he tucks her in his arm.

Ben watches the smile on his daughter’s face grow as Chewie’s fur tickles her. He looks to Rey, still holding tight to him.  _Tell him_ , he hears through the bond. Understanding of what she was referring to striking him with joy as he turns back to Chewie.

“Oh yeah...by the way,” he starts, everyone’s attention back on him as they wait to hear what he’ll say. “We’ve decided to follow in the tradition of my parents on this one and officially give Lei a middle name.” They had discussed it on the ride over from Arkanis in the cockpit of the Falcon.

Chewie’s eyes soften as he seems to understand, “Really?” he moans.

Ben nods, “Lorelei Mallatobuck Solo. Rolls off the tongue, don’t you think?” he teases but Chewie is already beaming as he lifts the baby high above his head.

“Lorelei Mallatobuck Solo!” He cheers, the babies legs kicking in excitement as the clan of wookiees look to her in awe.

“Gnngh gana argh grr mmm!” the baby repeats, trying to copy the sounds from Chewie. Ben thinks, not for the first time, how she sounds so suspiciously wookiee.

“Lorelei Mallatobuck Solo!” The rest of the tribe repeats. The pronunciation in Shryiiwook near melodious as their voices fill the forest. Together, they turn to leave and prepare for the celebration of life that is part of the Kasyyykian burial tradition. Although it was sad to say goodbye to those so loved, it was in their honor that they celebrate them with a rivaling vibrancy that they had in life. Chewie bounces Lei up and down, her giggles filling the air.

Ben and Rey begin to follow them. “I don't think they’re going to give her back,” Ben says, his tone nearly serious.

“They’ll probably make her their queen. For their sakes, I hope they have plenty of jogan fruit,” Rey jokes.

Ben laughs, feeling lighter than he has in a while as they trail after the party, guided by the echoing happy shrieks from Lorelei.

Behind them, Finn, Rose, Kaydel, and Maz follow, eager to reminisce and celebrate their dear friends well into the early hours of the morning. Rose, however, is stalled on one detail and she decides to voice her confusion.

“What did Ben mean by following in the tradition of his parents?” Rose asks Maz.

Maz has a knowing smirk on her face. A rare delight to recall the man by his full name. “Because legally, his name is Ben Chewbacca Solo.”

Finn, Rose, and Kaydel burst into laughter.

* * *

They feast on food that is slightly terrifying to the small party of non-wookiees but after they see how readily Rey rips into it, none of them dare complain. Although Finn and Rose doubt Rey has any human tastebuds, they are surprised to find that the food is actually quite enjoyable. Drinks are passed around but Ben and Rey respectfully decline. Neither of them has a fondness for alcohol. But still, they pass no judgment to those that accept it.

As their friends begin to get sillier with further indulgence to the beverages, some of the more direct comments come forward. Maz taking the lead. “Ben Solo...” she starts.

“Hmm?” Ben looks up from where his head was leaning into Rey’s shoulder. He had pulled her into his lap after the meal as they spoke through the bond, monitoring Lorelei’s signature from where she was sat on Chewie’s lap at the head of the table, knowing she was safe in his arms. 

“When are you going to marry this girl?” Maz asks blatantly, gesturing to Rey with a near empty bottle. Her question making the three other humans snicker as they lean forward, eager to hear what Ben’s response will be.

“Soon,” he teases with a blush creeping on his face.

“Don’t give me that,” Maz pokes fun. “Straight answers only.”

Ben rolls his eyes and turns away but feels Rey’s fingers gently tug his hair, guiding his eyes back to hers. “When _are_ you going to marry this girl?” she repeats Maz’s question, her turn to tease.

Something powerful surges in him and he’s tempted to answer with an ardent, _right now!_ But he recalls a thought that he realizes has been patiently waiting for the luxury to resurface. “I was wondering if we could get married on Ach-To,” he says softly.

Rey’s brows rise in surprise for a moment before she seems to understand, as she always does. “Your mother?”

He nods, “I’d like her to be there, anyway she can.”

She smiles at him. “I’d love that, Ben,” she says before kissing his cheek.

Rose gushes, “Aww, can we come?” she asks with big eyes.

Ben chuckles, his breath fanning against Rey’s chin. “Sure.”

* * *

Ben and Rey officially meet the rest of _their_ tribe. Loving how friendly and welcoming they are. One of them is Malla’s sister, Owatakna. She introduces herself to them though as Owa, knowing they called Malla by a shortened name.

Owa approaches them with gifts, “My sister and nephew had to flee here months ago, leaving many of their possessions behind.” Ben and Rey look to the object she holds to see it was a pouch, similar to Chewie’s crossbody one, but clearly of more feminine design. “When Lei is big enough, I’m sure Malla would be honored if she would keep it.”

Rey takes it in her hands, admiring the material and the small designs of the patches she used to decorate it. “Of course, thank you so much.”

“Malla also had a crossbow I’d like to give you as well. I know she won’t have a use for it for quite a while but when the time comes, it belongs to her.”

“Well, how kind.” Rey laughs.

Ben is distracted for a moment as he thinks of a future version of Lorelei wielding a Kashyyykian crossbow. Honestly, it frightens him, but only because he knows that one day she _will_ be big enough to have a crossbow as well as many other things. Perhaps even a lightsaber of her own. His heart constricting as he knows she won’t be a baby forever, though he will love nothing more than watching her grow.

* * *

Chewie remains in a big chair for most of the evening after dinner. Although he is joyful at the celebration for his wife and for the fallen pilot, he is still somber and misses Malla greatly. He is comforted though by the baby in his arms. He hasn’t let go of her since they left the gravestones. He spoke to her softly throughout the celebrations, seemingly trying to get her to replicate his Shryiiwook again.

Ben and Rey don’t have the heart to take her back as they see how softly he tends to her, wondering if this comfort helped distract him from his sadness.

Lei falls asleep as most of the celebrations have moved back outside in the night air, on the decks up above. Finn, Rose, and Kaydel were eager to follow the party. Maz all the while practically keeping the momentum going and everyone dancing.

But Ben and Rey remain inside, sitting on the couch across from Chewie’s chair, her head resting on his shoulder now, yawning.

“Bed?” he asks her.

“I think so,” she looks to the baby in Chewie arms. They can feel from her signature just how content she sleeps. A relief to them both. They hardly want to remove her from the warm cradle of his arms.

As if he knew what they were thinking, Chewie moans quietly. “I’m not tired, I can keep her if you two want to get some sleep.”

Ben can see how Chewie offers because he wants to. Lei brings him comfort just as she does to them. So Ben nods, knowing she would be safe and should anything happen, they would sense it immediately. “Okay, if you do get tired, we can take her.”

Chewie moans, saying goodnight. He watches as Rey pulls Ben along to the treehouse she stayed in during her pregnancy.

* * *

As they enter the treehouse, Rey sees how all of the supplies that got left behind are still here. All the baby clothes and toys that they had been collecting for Lorelei were still here. Rey’s exhaustion fades away as she rushes forward to inspect them.

Ben comes up behind her, his hands encircling her waist as he bends down to press kisses to the nape of her neck. He can sense something a little sad within her. “What’s wrong?”

Rey sighs, “Nothing, It’s just...none of these will fit her anymore. They’re all for a newborn baby.”

  
Ben thinks she’s worried Lei needs more clothes. “We’ll find her more clothes somewhere else. Ones that fit her.”

  
“I know, I just spent a lot of time in this room, excited to put these things on her and now...I don’t know it’s stupid.”

Ben reaches out a hand to feel the fabric for himself, understanding what she means. A smile coming to his face. “We can keep them anyway.” Rey’s head turns and he senses her confusion. “In case we ever have another baby,” he says softly into her ear.

Rey sighs, “Ben.”

She uses a tone he seldom hears from her. He fears he’s started something. “It was just an idea,” he says, trying to downplay what he’s just said.

Rey turns in his arms so she can face him. The moonlight illuminating their features to each other. Her heart tightens in her chest at the look in his eyes. She sees how honest he looks. “It’s a nice idea,” she starts, her voice trailing down. “A beautiful one. But, I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

Ben’s hands run up her arms, trying to comfort her. “I know. I’m not saying I am either.”

Rey nods. “After everything that happened, after everything Lei has been through, I want to make sure we help can her with her powers before we...bring anyone else in.”

“I agree,” Ben says. Lorelei’s strength was intimidating. As she got older it would grow with her and they needed to offer her everything they could. They would train her and show her how to control herself. They didn’t want her to get hurt.

Rey worries she’s discouraged him in some way and wants to help him understand that although expanding their family was not in the immediate future, she still treasured everything he gave her and all they have. Everything their family is.

Everything he means to her.

“We can always stay in practice though,” Rey says. At first, Ben doesn’t take her meaning but as he pulls back to see her face, he realizes what she’s referring to. 

He slowly leans down, watching as her eyes drift close and she melts into him. Their kiss is slow, falling back into a familiar dance they hadn’t practiced in far too long. Ben bends his knees, picking her up and walking them over to the bed in the middle of the room. He gently lays her down, kissing her softly along the healing bruise at her temple. Her hands pushing away at his clothes before he does to same to her. The skin of his chest meeting hers and pulling a strange sound from his throat.

They go slowly, trying to savor this love they came so close to losing. Ben had feared he would never again feel the warmth of her embrace and the familiar humming that sings between the bond. He had feared for losing so much in this past week, and selfishly, he feared of losing this too. This pleasure only she can bring him. This pleasure they have felt only from each other and no one else.

They both cry out at once as they find relief together.

Ben’s head is buried in her neck when she feels tears run down her skin, knowing by Ben’s emotions in the bond, it wasn’t just their combined sweat. She pulls him back by his hair, searching for his eyes and finding the tears falling there, landing on her face now as he hovers over her. She holds a hand to his face, a thumb brushing past his scar. Her voice is hushed and strained as she watches him. “Ben?”

He leans into her palm, a small sob escaping him, sounding so broken. “I-I thought I lost you. I thought we would never-”

“I know. But it’s over,” she tells him, one of her own sobs escaping her.

“I missed you so much,” he cries into her hair, falling to his side so he can hold her tightly against him. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she breathes back.

* * *

 They wake up early the next morning. A habit after their months on Lah'mu and waking to tend to Lorelei. They leave the treehouse to find there are passed out wookiees everywhere and the strong smell of alcohol lingering in the air. Ben and Rey walk through the home, looking for Chewie and Lorelei who slept soundly. They didn't feel her wake through the bond.

The find Finn and Rose sleeping on a couch and Maz is passed out on a table. They laugh quietly as they start to make their way outside, hearing voices, wondering if Chewie took her for a walk.

They find Kaydel first though. She’s speaking into a comlink to someone and waving them over as she seems to be saying goodbye to whoever’s on the other line.

“Who was that?” Rey asks.

“I just spoke with an official on Chandrila. They’ve offered their Senate House as a place of meeting for a summit. A conference to discuss what comes next.”

Ben is surprised to hear the name of his birth planet, “Really?”

“Yeah. They’re hoping to build the Republic back up.”

Ben knows that the New Republic was flawed, but it was also politics. And in a galaxy as big as this one, no matter how ethical the political system tries or claims to be, it will always be flawed. No one was ever going to agree on everything. At least the Senate offered people the choice to have a choice. A stark contrast from the suffocating treachery of the First Order.

“That’s great,” Ben says honestly. His attention though focused on finding Lorelei and Chewie who he senses are close. They hear Lei’s infectious giggle echo out from the perch above and the three of them smile. Ben and Rey leaving Kaydel to find her.

They find Chewie playing with her on the deck. He tickles her and makes funny noises as they look out at the beautiful Kashyyyk landscape. Ben and Rey approach him then and Lorelei cheers at the presence of her parents, reaching out her arms and calling for them.

“Morning. Is she fluent in Shryiiwook now?” Ben asks as he takes her into his arms and kissing her rosy cheeks.

Chewie chuffs, “Not as much as I am now fluent in baby.”

They laugh and Rey steps forward, hugging Chewie. “She slept okay?” she asks though already knowing the answer. 

“All night." It doesn't surprise them as much as it would if they were still living on Lah'mu. After this whole ordeal, she's been sleeping quite a lot. Exhausted from everything, understandably so. "We woke up early and I fed her some jogan fruit. I remember you said that’s her favorite.”

Rey smiles at his thoughtfulness. And yet, she senses sadness still. She pulls back to look up at him. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugs at first. “I’ll be okay. Waroo and I will find a way. It’ll take time though.” He reveals, hugging Rey again.

“I spent many years separated from them when we were forced into slavery. But I always had the will to go forward, knowing I would find her again. But now that she’s gone... I need to have something else to drive me forward, and Lei helps me with that.”

Ben’s heart aches at his admission, knowing exactly what he means. Lei is who gave him hope when he couldn’t find Rey. Although so young, she had this ability to guide people.

“We’ll all be here for you. Anything to help you as you’ve helped us.” Chewie wraps them all in a bundle, keeping them all close as the new day begins.

* * *

The Resistance, as well as some of the First Order Rebellion fighters, have gathered in Hanna City on Chandrila. It’s been several days since Hux’s fall and Coruscant was still rather lively in terms of celebration.

It was discovered that the Ascendancy’s crash was due to a loyalist First Order officer who overpowered one of the reactors, planning to take everyone down with him. Since that had been discovered, any others sympathetic to Hux’s ideals had been arrested. Cautious of any other possible terrorist attacks.

VN, now called Vinny, stands on the landing pad, waiting for the Millenium Falcon to arrive. Kaydel, Finn, and Rose were arriving with Kylo and Rey, along with their daughter. He stands with Dophled beside him. Both of them free from their First Order garb for the first time in years. 

“Are you nervous?” Vinny asks Mitaka.

Mitaka considers the question for a moment as he evaluates himself and finds that he isn't. “It's strange. I’ve been nervous all my life. For the first time though, I’m not. Maybe that _should_ make me nervous.”

Vinny laughs. RC, now called Arcy, approaching them with Sadie. Vinny throws an arm over Arcy's shoulders, hugging her close. It was important that after being called after numbers for so long, that they finally get a name of their own. Temmin and Karé join them as well. Acquaintances only a few days ago and now solid friends. The celebrations on Coruscant making quick work of that.

The group of them hears the sound of engines approaching and they look up to see the Falcon hovering above, preparing to land.

Inside the ship, Rose, Finn, and Kaydel feel like they’re watching history unfold as Rey pilots the Falcon. Ben is in the co-pilots seat, Lorelei sitting on his lap, babbling along while her parents speak back and forth as they land. 

They make it look so natural. So easy.

When they touch the ground, Ben turns the baby in his lap to look at her face. “All done.”

“Agggh ana da!” she cheers, her legs bouncing on his legs, making everyone melt.

They step off, walking forward to meet their friends. Ben and Rey met the troopers before they left Coruscant, greeting them with smiles and handshakes once again. But then Ben notices somebody else. He almost doesn't recognize him. He looked so different from how he’s always looked, but quickly Ben knows who it is. “Mitaka?”

The man smiles a little. “Hello, sir.”

Ben grins, reaching forward to shake his hand, “Mitaka, surely you know you don’t have to call me ‘sir' anymore.”

Mitaka nods, shaking his hand, unsure of what he prefers. He’s heard him called many names in the past few days. “What would you prefer then?”

“Call me Ben.”

“Ben,” the man repeats, nodding. “Sounds good.”

Ben's smile fades as he leans forward, his voice dropping as he tries to express his sincerity. “Mitaka, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you in the past. I know that doesn’t excuse it, I just hope you know I mean to treat you with respect from now on.”

“Thank you, Ben. I really appreciate that.”

Ben can hardly believe the transformation. Mitaka has always gotten a rough break, but to see him here makes him proud. Proud to see that Hux didn’t break him. Quickly he looks around for Rey, wanting to introduce her. “Rey?”

Rey is speaking to Temmin and Karé. She was so glad to see them again and it seems they are already acquainted with Lorelei. But then she hears Ben's voice calling her and she turns to see he's waving her over, though she can't see who he's speaking with. “Come here, I want you to meet somebody.” She rushes forward and Ben pulls Lorelei into his arms.

Ben sees how as Rey steps beside him, Mitaka’s eyes go wide, looking at her in awe. That nervous energy Ben recalls of him suddenly resurfaces as a blush creeps onto his cheeks. He sees how Rey notices too, holding back a smirk.

“Rey, this is Mitaka. He was a Lieutenant with the First Order. I’ve known him for a while now. He’s a good man.” Ben says, causing Mitaka to look down like a young bashful boy. Ben knows what has Mitaka so flustered, but he can hardly blame him.

“Nice to meet you, Mitaka." Rey holds out her hand.

Mitaka chuckles a little, “It's a pleasure, madam.” He knows his face is red because it’s suddenly much hotter in the temperate climate. He had only seen this woman in security holos and even then, she had been in a torture cell. To see her clearly for the first time, he is struck by her beauty. He shakes her hand with great enthusiasm, hoping she doesn't notice how sweaty his palms are.

Mitaka seems to regain his composure before leading them into the Senate House where they can discuss with the others. As they walk along, Rey hears Ben’s thoughts through the bond.

_Mitaka has a crush on you!_

She throws him a glare, fighting to hold back a smirk. _Don’t sound so surprised._

Ben laughs out loud then, confusing some of the others around them at why the silence would be so funny.

* * *

Most of the other officials and diplomats haven’t arrived yet. The summit is meant to take place in a few days, giving everyone enough time to arrive. Still, there is much to be discussed. It is why Ben finds himself in a conference room, surrounded by a roomful of politicians. Half of which have been lecturing Rey and himself for the last several hours.

“We’ve already made up our minds. We don’t want any place in power or politics,” Ben runs his free hand past his face, looking to Rey sitting in the chair beside him. He could feel how drained she was from all this. Both of them envious of Lei. Lorelei who is sleeping on his chest as he leans back in the chair. Throughout the day, he could tell how eyes lingered on her and many wished to hold her. But he didn't know many of these people and the thought of passing over his daughter to strangers make him uneasy. So, he ignored the affectionate glances and held her close until she fell asleep. He could tell some were confused why they brought the baby to the meeting, but they weren't going to take their eyes off her. 

The woman speaks again, insistent. “But you must understand what the three of you symbolize They want you to guide them as we help this galaxy heal,” says an older woman, pointing to the images of them everywhere throughout thousands of systems.

Rey leans forward. “Listen, we do understand what you’re saying. It makes sense, really. But, there were thousands of heroes that helped bring the First Order down. We don’t need to be the one making decisions here. I thought this was supposed to be a democracy? Everybody making the decisions.”

“It will be. We just thought that you could help get everyone’s attention.”

Ben doesn't like the implication of the woman's words but feels Rey place her hand on his knee as she answers. “We’re not comfortable exposing ourselves for publicity. We want our privacy so we can raise our daughter and be there for her as she grows. We don’t want a life in politics to overshadow that. We would like to offer our help, but not from the pedestal you want to put us on.”

Ben hears as Rey summarizes his feelings exactly. Growing up, he scarcely saw his mother due to her work and he doesn’t want Rey and himself to he absent in Lei’s life like that. Their first and main priority was raising their daughter.

To teach her as well as learn with her. 

The older woman seems to finally accept it and shakes her head. “Fair enough. I understand.”

Kaydel smiles at them from across the table, glad to hear they will be given some space. She knows, having spoken with them earlier that they plan to live on Chandrila, in the vicinity should the political realm need their help. But judging by the many responses from all over the galaxy, Kaydel thinks they’ve already given enough hope to last quite a long time. Because people know they can believe again. The galaxy knows that the tide had changed and everyone could live in the light once again, no longer trying to coast by in the shadows.

Things were changing for the better.

* * *

They don’t leave Chandrila, knowing they’ve offered their help should the blossoming Senate need it as the rest of the galaxy arrives. They doubt they will make an appearance at the summit but they've given Kaydel words for her to share should anyone question their absence. Her position as General of the Resistance making her a renowned hero around the galaxy as well. 

Ben flies them to a place beyond Hanna City, just the three of them. The light of the day fading into night. As they get further from the city, the stars riddling the sky become more prominent.

Rey watches, transfixed, as Ben points out places he remembers as a boy and she suspects where he might be taking them.

And then when they land, she sees they are right before a beautiful house that views the ocean and has enough green around to remind Rey of Lah’mu. Ben has a sad sort of smile on his face as he turns to her and says, “This is where I grew up.” She knew a lot of memories were in that house and not all of them were pleasant.

But they were building new ones now. 

They exit the Falcon, standing before the house and Ben unlocks the door with the force, knowing they will need an updated security system should they end up staying. Rey is fairly quiet as they walk in, taking in the space. It's rather massive compared to their home on Lah’mu. Ben watches as she looks all around, stepping before the window that overlooked the water. It was dark outside but she could see the reflection of the moon waning on the water. Rey can hardly comprehend that this could be theirs. “Wow...this is beautiful.”

Ben beams, glad to hear she likes it. Then again it was Rey and she always found the beauty in things. “I just thought that, if we stay on Chandrila, we should have someplace where we have room to breathe. Someplace where we could try and make a new home,” he says, coming to stand beside her, hanging arm over her shoulders. His hand is then taken hostage by Lei’s strong grip as she tries to chew on his fingers and he lets her.

“I love this, Ben.”

“Me too,” he tells her, kissing her temple. “We’re not sleeping in my parent's room though, even if they scarcely ‘used’ it together.”

Rey just laughs at him as they begin to explore their new, and old, home, cleaning up where they can.

* * *

Ben steps into his old bedroom, finding that his mother had left it the same after he went to the Academy. He wonders if…

He rushes to his old desk, pulling open the drawers and searching frantically, hoping to see they were still there.

Rey walks in then, Lorelei in her arms. “Was this your room?” she beams, looking all around at the posters of different ships hanging on the walls.

“Yeah,” he says, his attention still focused on sifting through the mess of his desk. “I spent a lot of time in here. Or really, all my time until I left for Luke’s." He halts his efforts for a moment to look at Rey as she admires the room, Lorelei babbling as they walk around. He feels honored that the first girls in his room are his daughter and wife to be. 

 “What are you looking for?” Rey asks, breaking him out of his thoughts. Her attention looking over the papers on the floor.

“My old drawings of you.” He feels a thrill as well to know that the girl that he had drawn so many times as a kid was actually here. It feels surreal to think of it that way. After all this time.

Rey realizes what he means. He had told her once, now what must be three years ago, that he knew the moment he saw her in the forest he had seen her before. He said when Snoke would riddle his mind with nightmares and pain, that his dreams of her were the only things that made him feel safe. He would try to preserve her on paper so he wouldn’t forget.

Ben gasps as he pulls an old folder out from deep in the drawer. “Got ‘em.” Ben barely opens the folder he closes it, a cringe on his face. “Wow, these are old. I don’t think we need to look at them after all.”

“I want to see them. I want to see how adolescent Ben drew me compared to adult Ben.”

“Well, first of all, he was more 'angsty teenage Ben' than anything else. And he didn’t know anything about proportions or composition so, no.”

“Please,” she begs, holding up Lorelei between them as if negotiating a trade. “You don’t have to look if you don’t want to.”

Ben takes the baby before passing over some of his oldest artwork. “Go crazy. I’m going to take Lei downstairs and draw some better and more updated things that don’t make me itchy.”

Rey laughs as he leaves the room. She moves to the bed, flipping through the collection of drawings, amazed that Ben had such a knack for art even as a young child. She doesn’t know why he was so offended by them. Although she could tell he was still learning and they looked a little rougher than his current work, every picture is distinctly her. Her old clothes flying in the wind. Her staff in hand. Her hair in three distinct buns.

The pencil renderings evolve into inks. She can see how on some pages he got flustered without the luxury to erase or how some pages were covered by ink he must have spilled.

Towards the end of the folder, she finds a few works that she thinks might be watercolors. It’s a silhouette of her, her features shadowed by the light of the suns behind her. The colors are bright and so alarmingly accurate.

Rey isn’t sure how he saw her exactly. In most of them, she looks the age she was right before she left Jakku forever, right before they actually met. But by now, Rey knows better than to question all the force has done for them. 

* * *

Ben and Lei are on the floor of the living room. He’s on his stomach, sketching her as she crawls around the blanket he laid out, greeting her toys in her strange mix of faux Shryiiwook babbling. And then Rey comes back down and sits down next to them.

“Give it to me straight,” Ben says, focused on his current drawing. “How bad was it?”

Rey scoffs, “Ben, I really don’t understand why you’re so committed to being this hard on yourself. They were lovely." She thinks of the watercolors. "I really liked those small paintings. I’ve never seen any of your work in color before. I didn’t realize how limited we were on Lah’mu.”

Ben smiles then, “I noticed that too. I got so used to these sketchbooks,” he nods to the other one on the backpack. The _secret sketchbook_ as they have come to call it. He had been frantic on Arkanis when they nearly left and he realized he left it in the drawer with the Jedi texts, rushing back to retrieve it. He also brought the said Jedi texts, somewhat begrudgingly, knowing they probably shouldn’t leave them there seeing as they were essentially relics.

Ben looks back down to the sketchbook where he had just drawn Lei. “But I’m getting to the end of this one and I think I want to try some bigger stuff. I don’t know much about painting, but I’m willing to give it a try, especially now,” he scoffs.

“‘Especially now?’” she repeats in question, laughing at the near offended look on his face.

“ _Especially now_ , because ever since I was a kid, that painting has irritated me to a ridiculous degree and it will be the first thing to go.” Ben points to a massive canvas hanging on the high wall of the room. Rey realizes, at that moment, that it was actually a painting, squinting and turning her head trying to figure out what the hell it was.

“What is it even supposed to be?”

Ben groans, closing his sketchbook and moving to sit up and tell the story, shaking his head. Rey knows they've stumbled upon something as he huffs.

"Uh oh," she whispers, smiling a little as Ben prepares to rant. 

“It’s supposed to be the ‘representation of the certain aesthetics and qualities of Appenza Peak and the perspective it offers on Alderaan,’ or in other words, my mom being taken for a ride by some contemporary hack who just threw a bunch of nonsense colors at a canvas and practically mocking everything about my mother’s home planet.”

Rey can tell that although this painting must have been made when Ben was a child, his annoyance with it hadn’t faded. She looks back to the canvas now, trying to find any semblance of the planet Leia grew up on. And although she knew very little of it, only from what Ben had told her, she could see that Ben was right. It was just a bunch of colorful nonsense that probably cost Leia a fortune.

“It is rather pitiful, isn’t it?” she says, finally turning away from it. “I guess you’re going to have to paint over it then.” She smiles at Ben and he beams. She doesn't know if it’s because of her proposal or because she’s agreed with him about how ugly the painting really is.

“What should it be then?" he asks her. "I have a feeling that, no matter how much I beg, you won’t let me paint a giant ‘nude Rey’ to display in our living room.”

Rey glares at him which only makes him laugh. Although she knows he’s joking, she would kill him if he ever did such a thing. She considers his question though. Trying to think of something that would forever make them feel comforted and at home when they looked at it.

 _Home_ , she thinks. She smiles, thinking of what the word inspires.

“What if you painted our home from Lah’mu?” Rey suggests, watching as his brows arch.

“That’d be perfect.” Ben knows that they left behind a lot in that little homestead, and maybe one day they could go back and gather what they could. But for now, this would do. “I haven’t done too many landscapes but that one’s forever burned in my memory.”

Rey smiles, glad he liked the idea. “You’ll need a lot of green. Hell, you’ll need a lot of everything. Maybe we could get Chewie and Waroo to pick up some materials when they come in a few days.” Ben laughs at how enthusiastic Rey sounds at the prospect of getting him art supplies. He doesn’t interrupt her though as her excitement is infectious, both to him and Lorelei.

“And I already know you’re probably going to try and convince yourself it looks horrible, but I’m going to love it. So, when you’re done, I request that you indulge me and ignore your inner critic to paint me several Lorelei’s that we can put up all along this wall and then...”

Ben watches her gesture to practically every corner of the house she intends to cover with his work. He laughs, enjoying his view from the floor beside Lorelei as they watch Rey talk about how beautiful it’s going to be and how much fun they’ll have. It makes Ben all the more grateful and astounded to know that this was his life and he loved it so much.

“What do you think, Lei?” Rey asks the baby, her face totally serious, but her energy playful. “Do you think we should just have him paint right on the walls? Save us the trouble of hanging?”

“Ga mmngh na da!” Lorelei shrieks.

“Mmm, good point. We wouldn’t want to neglect his smaller works from being seen as well. I totally agree,” Rey says.

Lei giggles beside him, watching as her mother makes an impromptu show for them as she speaks so animatedly. Ben sees how despite all the pain their daughter had experienced, she felt happy. It makes that fear within him, the fear he had failed as a father, cease as he thinks of all they now have the opportunity to do. All they can show her. They don’t have to run anymore.

And then he looks to Rey, admiring how happy she looks too. Her bruises are healing quickly and she’s cozy in some clothes Maz had supplied her with. She looks so beautiful like this. It reminds him of how they were on Lah’mu and how every day brought something new to look forward to, no matter how small.

It also reminds him that although they feel safe, and the deadly bounties in their heads are gone, he will remain ever vigilant to protect his family. His family who has overcome so much. His family who have taught him so much about love and happiness. His family and their home.

Because as long as he has them close and safe, Ben’s true home is wherever they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I could not find jack-shit about wookiee funerals. The only information I could find relating to a wookiee funeral at all was some a Wookieepedia page referring to Chewie's funeral from some Legend's bullshit storyline, but even then, they held the ceremony six months after he died so all it says is "his body could not be recovered, and a proper Wookiee funeral could not be performed." And yet they don't describe what an actual proper Wookiee funeral is!!!
> 
> So, as you probably gathered, I conjured up this bullshit. I don't know if Malla was really born in Rwookrrorro, but Chewie was so I just went with it. I also gave her a sister, Owa, for the reason of wanting to give away some of Malla's things. I wanted to pretend that part of a Wookiee tradition, they might want to give away some of the deceased items to a future generation who may need it in the future.
> 
> I figured at this point, Lorelei needed a middle name. When Chewie gets excited and lifts Lorelei up, and everyone chants her name, it's meant to have big Rafiki energy. He loves that bab so much, omg.  
> 
> 
> And let me remind you, I can't write smut to save my life so if you were looking for something more graphic in that treehouse then I apologize. I just needed to clarify that the after all the shit they've been through, Ben would definitely cry after or during or both. 
> 
> (I'm in the one corner that believes that when Ben and Rey lose their virginity, Benny boi is going to cry because that's the most cannon shit I've ever heard.)
> 
> Mitaka's reaction to seeing Rey truly for the first time is literally because I had that one line from the Spongebob movie stuck in my head when Patrick meets Mindy and is all, "She's pretty, Spongebob" and like drools and blushes. Couldn't find a gif but hopefully, you know what I mean. Mitaka is too pure for this world!
> 
> I let them have the fake Chandrila house that I'm pretending Ben grew up in. I wanted it to kind of be like on the Office when Jim buys his parents house for him and Pam and he gives her an art studio on the garage. And then I love it when Pam is all excited but asks, "Do we have to sleep in your parent's room?" Classic. They now have a place to live and I'm so happy they will make it their own!
> 
> And I know it was stupid but I wanted Ben to have an art rant about the painting that's bugged him since his childhood because that also sounds cannon. 
> 
> I'm sure you noticed that we only have one more chapter to go because you know I'm going to give their wedding its own chapter! We are going back to Ach-To, everybody!!


	44. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Dreams by The Cranberries on repeat again so I thought, what the hell, let's title this last one after the song that makes me want to dance and cry at the same time. I understand that the original meaning of the song seems a little different than what I'm using it for but whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, here we are. The final chapter! How the fuck did we end up here? I honestly never thought it was going to end, lol. Starting off I didn't even think I'd make this story last more than six chapters, but so much has changed.
> 
> I know this one is long *cough almost 13,000 words cough* so if I lose you at any point here, I just want to say thank you to everyone that stuck with this story and encouraged me to finish it. Honestly, this story has dominated my mind for too long and while I'm sad it's over, I'm glad I can kind of move on from this and try to get my life back under some sort of control. 
> 
> Now fair warning, I have read through it maybe three times now, but it's so fucking long that I know it's probably littered with mistakes. I apologize in advance but fuck it, let's post it. I've already taken too long to wrap this baby up!!
> 
> Seriously, I love every fucking one of you and I ain't joshing. Thanks for reading and commenting and being the sweetest space babes in the feckin' galaxy.

It had been three months since the First Order had fallen. Three months since Ben got his family back.

They had helped with what they could with the Republic, trying to keep a safe distance from the cameras and insistent questions that surrounded them. Kaydel and the rest of their fierce number of friends and allies remained very protective of their privacy and whereabouts.

They settled comfortably into their home. Making it theirs.

Ben and Rey slept in his old room. They cleaned it up and switched out for a bigger bed. Lei’s crib across from them. A familiar distance to that they shared from their bedroom on Lah’mu although this space is much bigger.

They needed to keep her close.

They were still not immune to fear and the lingering effects of their separation and fight for survival. All of them had been prone to nightmares in the months following the ordeal. The most recent was about a week ago. Rey had woken up sobbing. Her head was stuck in that throne room when she thought they were going to lose Lei forever. But Ben pulled her close and together they walked over to the crib, trying to keep their own walls between themselves and Lorelei sturdy so she wouldn’t be exposed to their fear. Rey breathed a sigh of relief as they looked down at her sleeping body. Ben held her tightly, much like she had every time the nightmares were his own. It was going to take time to heal, but they would guide each other, just as they always did.

And they found a lot of ways to heal.

They had started making a nursery for Lei in the room next to theirs. They’re taking their time, hesitant of the day they may have to move the crib from their room. But Ben had spent a number of hours in the nursery, working on a mural that spanned across one wall. It was meant to be the mountain ranges and trees of Takodana they loved so much. A mixture of where they met and where Lorelei was born.

After he completed the work of Lah’mu hanging in the living room, he discovered he rather liked landscapes. There were lots of colors and lights he could play with. The new medium of paint and larger sizes were encouraging him to take steps in places he hadn’t considered before. At least artistically.

And although there was a lot about the process that he enjoyed, his favorite part was to hear what Rey thought about them. Perhaps because she always loved them and he just liked to hear her scold him into sharing her opinion.

But Ben isn’t painting now. Instead, he was following Lorelei as she climbed the stairs. It wasn’t the first time she’s attempted such a feat but they were amazed at how much faster and stronger she was getting around everywhere. As she got to the top, Ben cheers for her, telling her what a good job she did. It makes the little girl beam up at him and together they crawl through the hallways to find Rey, following her signature to their bedroom.

As they approach the door, Ben is about to push it open for them when Lorelei makes a tiny shriek, “Bah!” and the door creaks open. The force within her bubbly and eager to find her mother and making Ben smile.

Her force outbursts had returned to their former innocence they held on Lah’mu. There had been nothing to the degree of what they had witnessed in that throne room. Their suspicions seemingly confirmed. Lorelei’s abilities heightened only when she sensed their danger. Their desperation likely fueling the intensity of her powers.

Now, it seemed to fall in place much like it did on Lah’mu. It was usually only her happiness that caused these little episodes. But of course, there was the rare occasion where her stubbornness was just as responsible. Because as it turns out, there are a lot more flavors besides Manak leaves she despises.

Rey is standing at the foot of their bed, placing piles of folded clothes into some bags. Her face lighting up as she sees the door creak open to see them both crawling in.

Ben scoops up Lei then, pulling her to his chest with one hand and standing before Rey and presenting her with the giggling baby. “Don’t forget this,” he tells her, placing Lorelei in the bag. “Just the essentials.”

They were preparing for their trip. They were heading to Ach-To in the morning and then getting married the following day. It was all finally happening.

Rey laughs as she picks the baby up out of the bag. She was only getting bigger, now eleven months old. “We wouldn’t forget our honorary guest.” She kisses her cheeks and sits down on the edge of the bed. Ben finishes the task of placing the items in the bag. Their wedding clothes weren’t in here though. Technically they didn’t have them yet but Finn and Rose were picking them up from a tailor in Hanna City and dropping them off that evening.

As Ben sees the skies darken through the windows and he realizes they could be here any minute.

* * *

Finn and Rose arrive as soon as Ben predicted. They rush outside to meet them before they even land, sensing them on board.

As well as Rey and Ben could sense anyone that approached the house, they had a rather intense security system that spanned not just the house but the entire area. Their sabers moved with them, either on their belts or carried with them to whatever room they occupy. Even now as they watch their friends descend from the sky, their sabers remain at their side.

_Always vigilant._

Finn and Rose rush off their shuttle and race towards them. It had only been a few days since they were last here but they were always excited upon their return. “Hey, little Lei!” they cheer together as if they practice it on the ride over.

The baby kicks her legs as she sees them approach. She recognizes their signatures as Ben and Rey do. Her babbling echoing out in the night air. Finn and Rose take turns hugging the little family in greeting.

Ben had been insistent that they didn’t need to hug him, but Finn had been even more insistent that he would hug him every time. It resulted in Ben giving a heavy sigh as Finn and Rose wrapped their arms around him, most of the time pretty stiff. Rey always laughs and watches Ben, noticing how the corners of his mouth quirk up, secretly welcoming it.

“Did you get them?” Ben asks eagerly.

Finn looks to Rose warily and Ben wonders if they didn’t manage to get the clothes. “We got them, no problem.”

Rey notices the look in their eyes too. “Then what’s the _problem_?”

Rose has something of a cringe on her face. “Well, we also had to get something else…”

“What do you mean?” Ben asks but before either of them could answer, they all hear whirring coming from the ship and suddenly, a familiar droid comes into view.

“Well, Master Solo. I am so delighted to be here! And back in your childhood home, how lovely!” C-3P0 announces.

Ben immediately rolls his eyes, looking to Finn and Rose who have guilty looks on their face. He’s about to ask why the droid was there when 3P0 speaks up again. “I wish to thank you and Madam Rey, most ardently, for inviting me to your wedding.”

Ben groans although he knows there are much worse problems to have.

“Threepio, can you bring the wedding clothes in?” Rose asked him, thinking it was best to keep him occupied.

“Oh, of course. I will fetch them now and be inside momentarily.”

“Thank you, Threepio,” Rey tells the droid, only making him more honored to do the task.

Rey heads to the living room, settling the baby on the floor among her toys. “So the pick up went okay, then? At least for the clothes?”

Finn laughs, “I guess so. I don’t think they believed for a minute though that they were supposed to be for us,” Finn nods to Rose. Ben and Rey had picked out the garments they wanted through the holonet and given Finn and Rose their measurements to drop off at the tailor and dressmaker, claiming the designs were for themselves. “As they handed it to me they saw it was bigger than I was and they asked if they wanted to make adjustments. I just said that I liked my clothes a little frumpy.”

Rey laughs, knowing _frumpy_ was the last word she would probably use to describe Finn. “Well, thank you both so much. We’re still not ready to go out quite yet,” Rey says looking at Ben and he nods.

 _One day_ , she hears him through the bond. _We just need time_.

“No worries. We love running errands. It gives us an excuse to come here and raid your kitchen and play with your baby,” Finn shrugs.

C-3P0 walks in then. The clothes hung over his mechanical arms in black dust covers, hidden from their eager eyes. Ben walks forward. Instantly, C-3P0 pulls his arms out of reach. “But I want to see,” Ben practically whines.

“Master Solo, surely I don’t need to remind you that it is customary that the bride and groom’s garments remain secret to each other before the wedding. You would not wish to be improper.”

“‘Improper?’ Threepio, we don’t exactly do things the _proper_ way around here in case you haven’t noticed,” Ben rolls his eyes again, this time directly to the droid.

The droid’s ocular sensors whir as he looks around the room and sees the small child chewing on a toy. “Master Solo, if you thought I was trying to bring offense to your daughter born out of wedlock, I assure you, it was not my intention.” Ben’s patience is tested. “I intend to treat Pri-General Leia’s granddaughter with the utmost respect. She is royalty after all,” the droid insists.

Ben sighs realizing that this was C-3P0 and his awareness for such traditions, customs, and vocabulary was beyond his control. “Fine. Just set them down and try to relax. But no royalty or protocol bullshit, please. We’re about to make dinner.” Ben steps away, headed for the kitchen and Finn follows him. The droid left behind seeming scandalized at Ben's language.

“Where’s ‘Ooey?’” Finn asks. Ben smiles at the name.

Chewie was at their house often. Partially as security and mostly because he just enjoyed being around the baby, as did everyone. Every time he walked in, Ben and Rey would greet him by his name and Lorelei would hold up her arms, eager to be held by him. It led her to say her third word a few weeks ago.

_Ooey._

It was her best attempt at saying Chewie’s name but her sweet little voice had everyone calling him by Lei’s version.

“He went to Kashyyyk to pick up the rest of the tribe. They’re coming too,” Ben answers.

The man’s face lights up. “Yes!” Finn cheers. “Literal party animals. This is going to be the best wedding ever.”

“It’s the first wedding you will have gone to, Finn,” Ben points out, pulling a few items out of the fridge.

“So?” he asks like that would in any way affect his opinion. “Seriously, this is going to be amazing.” Finn crams a bunch of fruit into his mouth he found in the bowl on the table. “But I guess I don’t need to tell _you_ that,” he says with a full mouth.

Ben hears Lorelei giggle from the other room, followed by one of Rey’s laughs. Ben smiles to himself as he pretends to concentrate on the ingredients. “No, I guess you don’t,” he chuckles.

* * *

Rey and Ben are lying in their bed a few hours later. Finn and Rose were sleeping in one of the guest rooms and C-3P0 was powered down in the living room.

Lorelei was sleeping soundly in her crib, her signature humming beside theirs. It helps to relax them as they try to find sleep. Both too excited about their next few days.

Rey’s head eventually turns on his arm beneath her head, “Threepio really bugs you doesn’t he?”

Ben scoffs, “Of course he does. I’ve known him all my life.”

“So, he’s always been-”

“Yes, always,” Ben assures her before she could even ask. C-3P0 was his mother’s protocol droid all during her political career and then following her days as General in the Resistance. He probably had seen more of that droid than he had seen his parents growing up. A most unfortunate memory suddenly resurfacing.

“Oh, kriff,” Ben says.

“What?”

“I just remembered something. Probably one of the most awkward memories I have.”

Rey leans up on her elbow with a smirk, ready to hear it. Ben realizes she’s not going to even attempt going to sleep until he tells her. He turns to face her, also leaning on his arm.

“I was about thirteen. I hadn’t gone to Luke’s yet. My mom saw that I kept drawing ‘some desert girl’ and thought that it was time I properly had ‘The Talk.’ She thought I was finally showing an interest in girls judging by how obsessed I was with those pictures of you.”

“What’s ‘The Talk?’” Rey asks confused. Ben realizes that she wouldn’t know, never having anyone to really talk to her in the first place. Her understanding of these matters happened in a much more terrifying way. Part of it happening in a pregnant woman’s tent when she was too young. He wonders if he should even tell her now, realizing his recollection was harmless compared to her experiences, but she seems interested enough and he continues.

“‘The Talk’ is something parents give their children when they reach a certain age so they know where and how…” Ben nods over to the crib before gesturing between the two of them, “babies are made.”

“Oh,” Rey understands. “Suddenly, I’m very concerned why Threepio is involved in this story.”

Ben nods trying to hide a knowing grin. “So, she saw all the drawings. Must have thought I was having wet dreams or something and decided that it was time I was talked to. Generally, the son will be spoken to by the father and the mom will speak to the daughter. Similar anatomy being the crossroads, so good luck when Lei needs it,” he teases and Rey pokes him in the chest with a huff. Ben smiles to himself as he continues. “But my dad wasn’t around and my mom was complaining about it to Threepio when he must have decided to take on the responsibility.”

Rey’s jaw drops, “Oh no. Please tell me he didn’t.”

Ben nods, turning to his back and looking up at the ceiling. “He did. Only he’s a protocol droid so before he even got into the biology of everything, he informed me of proper courting notions and ways to engage someone respectfully before engaging in, what he referred to as, _coitus_.”

Rey’s hand covers her mouth, trying to conceal the burst of laughter growing in her chest. “That’s devastating.”

“I know. My mom was so mad at him. She tried to tell me to just wait until my dad got home and everything would make more sense.”

“And did he? When he got back, did he ‘Talk’ to you?” Rey’s eyebrows wiggle in jest, already knowing it wasn’t going to end well.

Ben chuckles. “That’s the worst part. One night, when my dad and Lando got back, they were drinking around the table and Han was trying to explain the logistics to me when he passed out. Totally drunk.”

“Oh god,” Rey winces.

“Which is when Lando then took it upon himself to give me very graphic and a great range of information about his own personal experiences which I’ve tried very hard to forget. One of them involving some droid I never met but I don’t even want to go there.”

Rey laughs quietly as he covers his face with his hands. “You didn’t have a chance after all that.” She looks at him then, pride swelling in her chest. “But you figured it out. ”

Ben scoffs. “Yeah, like, eighteen years later. Only after I kidnapped and insulted you to the point where we nearly killed each other did I ‘figure it out.’. Even then, I had no idea what I was doing.” He can’t believe he’s lucky enough that Rey ever even spoke to him, let alone everything else.

“But we’re different now,” Rey tells him, her fingers dancing over his collar bone. “And it worked out.”

Ben thinks of their wedding the day after tomorrow. He thinks of their daughter sleeping in the crib in the room. He thinks of how the First Order is finally gone and he and his family are free to live.

“I know,” he smiles. And he does know.

* * *

They arrive to Ach-To after a long day of travel. It was a long ride from the core worlds and Ben and Rey are eager to stretch their legs and roam around and get some space from the rather vocal protocol droid.

Lando was there as well and both Ben and Rey pretend like they weren’t thinking about his experiences involving a droid as they greet him. He’s a lot older than he was when Ben knew him and it’s been a while since Rey has seen him.

“Little Starfighter has an even littler Starfighter,” he says as he holds out his hand to the baby as if expecting to shake in greeting. But then he leans down, pressing a kiss against Lei’s knuckles. “A pleasure to meet you, your highness. I’ve heard all about you.”

Ben rolls his eyes, “Knock it off. No ‘highness’ nonsense.”

“Listen Starfighter, were I born with such a title I would certainly bank on it. Come to think of it though you never liked the ‘Prince’ title, did you?”

Ben rolls his eyes again, making Rey chuckle. Lando's head turns and he looks to her. “That does mean that in a matter of hours, you’ll be royal by marriage, my dear. You must be ecstatic,” he says as he reaches for Rey’s hand, about to press a kiss to her knuckles when Ben swooped in.

“Well, you must be tired. Why don’t you go to bed and we’ll see you in the morning.”

Lando laughs as he surrenders and heads down the hill to where he’ll sleep in his ship, “Typical Solo,” Lando mutters. He turns around one final time, calling to Rey. “Don’t believe a word he tells you about me! I assure you he’s exaggerating!”

Rey laughs but Ben groans as they walk further up the pathway. They run back into Finn and Rose who are exploring, never having been there before. The many porgs quickly became their main subject of interest. Chewie, Waroo, and the others are already there, happy to see them and engulfing them all in big hugs. Maz is there too, yelling at any wookiee and droid she can to help her try and decorate the village. It’s getting late though and everyone is seeming to find a place to sleep, eager for tomorrow to begin.

Ben and Rey step inside their own hut. The one Rey stayed in from before. The same one Ben spoke to his mother in a few months ago. But it’s a little different now. Some of the wookiees brought them some things to be more comfortable so there’s a thick mattress on the stone slab and a hand-woven crib beside it they must have made specifically for Lei and both Ben and Rey agree it’s even more beautiful than the one they have at home. There are little scatterings of flowers displayed all around the little space and Rey smiles at all their friends had done for them.  She moves to sit on the bed, Lorelei in her lap, both of them yawing from the day.

It still takes nearly three reads of _Fuzzy Ewoks_ to get her to sleep when they lay her down in the crib, bundled in plenty of blankets. Ben and Rey fall asleep not long after, excited for tomorrow.

* * *

The little family is awoken to Maz barging through the drape of the hut. “Alright, everybody up!” She cheers, rushing to the bedside, trying to pull Rey out of Ben’s arms.

Ben’s arms only tighten then, “Where are you taking her?” He smirks though his eyes are closed, refusing to let her go that easy. “I need her, she’s warm,” he jokes.

Rey laughs against his chest, agreeing with him. But then she hears Lorelei stir in the crib beside them, peeling out of Ben’s arms to greet her. She’s standing in the crib, gripping the bars and peering over the edge to see what’s going on. Rey leans over pulling her out, holding her up and kissing her cheeks which makes the baby giggle. “Good morning, my love.”

Ben sits up, stretching as Rey sits back on the edge of the bed with the baby held against her. He pulls them closer into him and he presses kisses along the back of Rey’s neck. They usually take their time waking up, however early it may be. But it is clear Maz was in some sort of excited frenzy. “Rey, time to go. Let’s get moving.”

“Why now?” Rey asks, reluctant to leave the comfort of her family.

“Because you need to start getting ready. We only have a few hours until the ceremony.”

“It doesn’t take ‘hours’ to get ready,” Rey tells her, still not getting up from the bed.

Maz bellows out a laugh. “Well, Rose has insisted that when you’re getting married, it actually does.” The small woman rushes outside, expecting Rey to follow after her.

Rey concedes, passing Lorelei over to Ben. “I guess I’ll see you later.”

Ben smiles, kissing her softly. “Good luck. I’ll see you soon,” thrill sweeping through his bones as he realizes the next time he sees her will likely be their ceremony. They’ll be getting married. He holds fast to the sight of her leaving the hut, knowing soon enough the name he’s longed to give her will finally be hers.

Lorelei babbles against him as they are alone once again in the hut, but this time under much happier circumstances. “Ga ba ma...Mama ga ba da,” she tells him.

“I know,” he says, moving his feet over the side of the bed. “We’ll see her later though. Are you hungry, Lei?” He pulls a jar of baby food out of one of their bags, jogan fruit. At the sight of it, Lorelei beams.

“Hnggh na da,” she says, reaching for the jar in his hand. Her eagerness making Ben laugh. He quickly finds a spoon and her bib before he stepped outside, knowing if he were to feed her on the bed their mattress would be coated with fruit mush within minutes.

He steps outside and instantly, the tribe of wookiees are there to greet them, pulling them both to the little gathering in the middle of the huts. He finds Chewie sitting among the stone benches but he’s covered in porgs.

Ben sits down beside him, making some of the strange bird creatures fly away. Chewie offers to hold Lei in his lap while Ben feeds her, knowing it might be a little awkward without a highchair or a table. They would have to find a better alternative for later. But it works for now as Lei sits happily on Chewie’s lap and Chewie doesn’t seem to mind when she gets a big glob of jogan fruit baby food on his fur. And it certainly attracts the attention and amusement from all the others around.

Finn approaches with some of the others when Lei’s finished her breakfast and they all admire the purple smear of mush all over her cheeks to match the presence of the small black beard on her father’s face.

“The resemblance is uncanny!” Temmin jokes and Ben can’t help but laugh as he runs a hand over his own face, realizing he probably should have shaved it before they left home. But he thinks that Rey rather likes it, as does he, and it shouldn’t matter really.

Still, he helps Lei wipe her face clean as Finn sits beside him. “ I just left the Falcon where Rose and Kaydel are holding your bride captive. She begged me to take me with her as I left but they were very insistent they would get her ready.”

Ben chuckles. “They’re going to drive her crazy.”

“I know. At least Threepio has been told to steer clear of the Falcon. He’s been trying to communicate with the fish nuns and apologize in advance for our celebrations. They got quite a bit bigger than we were expecting.”

Ben nods in agreement. He looks around to see everyone that has come to join them. All the friends they’ve made. Sadie, Vinny, Arcy, even Mitaka was there. Temmin and Karé were in the middle of the stone area making plates of food from the fire there and passing out to people, big grins on their faces.

It brings him great joy to see all that support them and want to be there for them for this important moment in their lives. But he can’t help but wonder where one particular face was.

His mother’s.

But, as Finn tells him he and Lei should start getting ready, he figures they still have the rest of the day to reach out.

Hell, they had the rest of their lives.

* * *

Rey hasn’t seen what they’ve done to her, she just knows it’s taken hours. Maz was in and out coordinating with everyone, always coming back and insisting things needed to go a little quicker. Rose, and Kaydel all took a lot of pleasure in getting her ready, though everything seemed unnecessary and over the top. Rey thought all she had to do was put the dress to get married and help mark the occasion. But apparently, weddings were not something taken lightly in the galaxy and the three women had focused on every little detail.

As Kaydel brushed and braided her hair, Rey realized that no one besides Ben had ever really touched her hair. And as much as she loved Kaydel, she somewhat wished it was Ben doing it for her now. His hands were always gentle and caressed her scalp as he weaved her hair, leaving small kisses behind her ears when he was done. Not that she wanted Kaydel to do that now. She laughs to herself at the notion, trying to keep a straight face. Mainly because Rose was sitting inches away from her, holding a series of brushes and applying them to her face with a seriousness Rey hadn’t even seen Ben express in painting. “Where did you even learn to do stuff like this?” She asks, truly curious that throughout the war, she picked these skills up.

“Holos,” Rose says, her eyes locked on Rey’s eyebrow. “I always dreamed of how amazing it would be to get married and now that you are, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.”

“But I really don’t need-”

“Hush! We want to do all this Rey,” Maz snaps at her. “But I think that’s enough you two. Come look at yourself, my dear.” They lead her to the mirror in the closet and Rey takes a moment to take in the sight of herself.

Rose didn’t go too heavy on her makeup which she is relieved by and finds that the subtle changes are actually quite nice. She doesn’t feel uncomfortable and doesn't feel like she’s a stranger to herself.

Her hair is pulled back into a low and loose braided bun that has a variety of flowers weaved into the tresses and Rey smiles to see that Kaydel did a fine job of the braid indeed.

Her eyes travel down to the dress she’s wearing. Suddenly, she is reminded of when Ben had made her those maternity nightgowns because it was the only other piece of clothing that had affected her in this way.

It’s not an exact white. It has hints of a subtle grey to it that caught Rey’s attention in the first place. The fabric wraps around her torso, hugging her rib cage and breasts. She realizes the neckline goes a bit farther than she was expecting but she hardly minds at this point, quite liking how it looks. There’s a thin belt of ribbon that sits just above her navel and from there on down the skirts flare slightly down to her feet, making it a rather simple but lovely dress.

Rey feels comfortable, but she also feels...beautiful.

It was strange. Ben told her so often, but she seldom really thought so herself. She always thought she was rather plain and skinny, with the exception to when she was pregnant when she was convinced she was a whale. But now, Rey feels confident in her appearance in a way she’s never been and she admits, perhaps all the fuss they made this morning might have been worth it after all. She turns to them, tears threatening her eyes. “Thank you,” she tells them. “I love it.”

Rose smiles, holding something behind her back. “Good because you’re going to hate these.”

“What?” Rey asks. Rose pulls her hands around and reveals shoes that look like they would break her ankles. “Nope. I’m not wearing those. Will not happen. Good day.”

“Fair enough. I knew it was a long shot.” Rose looks down at them almost longingly. “Do you...Do you think I could wear them?”

“Rose, if you can walk in them and not maim yourself, do whatever you wish with them, I won’t be putting them to any use, I assure you.”

* * *

Ben is all dressed. He had his pants and boots as always. Both his and Rey’s saber clipped at the belt. She told him to carry hers today. The chances of needing them were slim, but still, they were ever vigilant.

He wears a tunic that was more akin to what he wore in the Resistance than what he wore in the First Order, reminding him of his father. Over the top was a black jacket that made it all look more formal than it actually was.

He looks down at himself. Everything black as always, finding himself amused that for once, his fondness for black is in accordance to tradition as a groom. At least they can appease C-3P0 with the few traditions they can manage to commit to.

“Dada!” Lei cheers as a porg waddles through the curtain of their hut. “Gah na wana pa!” She points to him from where she’s standing in the crib, though leaning on the railing. Her legs were getting much stronger and both he and Rey were curious if she would start walking any day now.

“I see him, sweetheart,” he kisses her cheek as he pulls her up. She’s wearing a darling little dress. It’s kind of a periwinkle color, though very subtle and muted. It has a pattern of polka-dots all over the soft fabric. Her legs are covered by some black leggings and her feet are kept warm by tiny little baby boots that are smaller than Ben’s palms.

Her hair was still too short to braid but Ben is amazed at how thick and wavy it was, knowing that when the time came to braid it, he would have plenty to work with.

Ben loves her hair. It’s kind of wild and crazy. It wasn’t curly but it wasn’t straight. It was just thick and wavy and stubborn.

A stark contrast to Rey’s naturally straight and tame hair. Braiding Rey’s was easy enough he could do it with his eyes closed.

But Lei’s hair, he already knows, will prove a challenge. And he’s looking forward to it. He brushes through it now with their usual brush from home. As much as he likes to see it absolutely wild, it’s best to keep it free of tangles or it’d be much more difficult to brush through later and it would only be uncomfortable for Lei. Even now he feels bad when he feels a tangle pull on the brush and Lei whines a little. “Sorry,” he whispers, staying as gentle as he can.

Maz comes in just then, watching as Ben tenderly brushes through his daughter’s hair. “Oh, Ben. You look very handsome. You clean up very nice indeed, my dear.”

“Thanks, Maz,” he says honestly. “And how nice does this little lady look?” He moves Lorelei from his lap, her hair all brushed through. He places her on the ground and holds her hands to help her balance but she supports her weight, stepping over the toes of Ben’s boots.

Maz’s heart feels very full as she watches them together. Such a monumental change from their combined despair only a few months ago. She steps forward, leaning over with her hands on her knees to get a good look at the girl. She revels in the moment, cherishing what she can of Lei’s tiny self, knowing that in several years she’ll surpass her in height as everyone eventually does.

“Oh, Lorelei, you look absolutely beautiful. Just like your mother,” she tells her and is rewarded with a beautiful and slobbery smile. A mix of gums and a few tiny teeth. Maz reaches out, admiring the soft fabric of her dress. “The color suits you marvelously. It reminds me of the flowers in your mommy’s hair. Which also reminds me…I have something for you.”

Ben watches as Maz pulls out a small bundle of tiny flowers, the colors indeed matching Lei’s dress. She starts to tuck them into her hair, making a crown that sits upon her dark locks quite beautifully. Ben helps her where he can as they weave all the stems together.

“Look at you,” Ben says to her as his daughter beams up at him. He feels something gather in his chest as he watches her smile only get bigger. He’s so proud of her and all she’s overcome. All she’s had to face at so young yet she was so strong.

“Ben?” he hears Maz try to get his attention and he realizes he’s zoned out a bit. “We’re just about ready. Why don’t you come outside and get yourself in order so we can get you married to this girl.”

He smiles, “Sounds good, let me just-” before he can finish, Chewie comes through the entrance of the hut.

“Ooey!” Lorelei cheers with her arms held up. The wookiee seems to purr as he steps forward.

“Hello, little Lei. Can I take her outside?” he asks Ben.

“Of course. But don’t let her put her hands in her mouth if she touches a porg. I don’t want to know what kind of diseases those things carry.”

Both Chewie and Maz roll their eyes but admire his attentive nature. Chewie assures him he will clean her hands immediately should she pet one.

They leave and Ben is by himself for the first time in a while. He stands up, making sure their hut wasn't too messy and keeping Lei’s toys confined to the crib, again nervous about them picking up any germs on the ground. He’s about to go outside and join everyone when he suddenly didn’t feel like he was quite by himself. A smile spreading across his face as he recognizes who it is.

“Mom!” he cheers and turns to find her materialized by the foot of the bed.

“Hello, Ben,” she smiles back. “I’m so happy to see you.”

Ben has tried to think of what he’ll tell her if when he saw her. All he needed to say. It comes out frantically and he blurts out the most important thing. “Mom, you were right. Your visions were right. We got Rey back. We got out okay,” he tells her earnestly. “And...well, we’re about to get married. I wanted you to be able to see it. I wanted it to be here. We both did.”

“I know,” she says, seemingly aware of everything and tears shining in her eyes as he smiles at him. “Ben, I can’t tell you how much all of this means to me, and for you and your family. _Our family_...I’m just so proud of you.”

Ben feels his own tears begin to spill over. “Mom, I-”

Suddenly the curtain is thrown aside again and Ben hears someone else enter the small space. Ben knows immediately it was Rey, feeling her energy hum along with his as they are in the same space again. But he sees his mother’s eyes go wide and Ben turns to see Rey looking absolutely breathtaking.

But in his mind, he struggles to find the right word. _Beautiful doesn’t do her any justice. There isn’t a word in the basic language to describe how fucking ethereal, amazing, and magnificent she looks._

“Rey…” he breathes out, his eyes looking all over her. Her dress, her face, her hair, her dress again. “I…you look-” he can’t even speak.

“You look hot, Rey!” Leia blurts out, shaking her head in astonishment. “Ben, tell the mother of your child she looks incredible this instant.”

Ben suddenly feels like a teenager as a blush rises on his cheeks. He focuses on Rey though and she blushes a little too. “You look perfect, Rey,” he breathes out, hardly able to believe this was their wedding day and that Rey was his bride.

Rey smirks at him, realizing she’s set off something between the mother and son. She steps forward, taking his hands in hers and looking him over for herself. “You look quite perfect yourself.” She runs a hand past his face, her thumb caressing the mark she left there so long ago.

Her eyes blink over, back to the ghost of the woman waiting there. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just barged in. I just knew I felt you and I wanted to…” Rey steps forward, wishing she could wrap her arms around her and hold her tight. But she knows she can’t and Rey settles for standing before her, admiration and love singing in the force. “...thank you for everything.”

Leia shakes her head, “Thank you, Rey. You’ve done so much for our family and I’m so glad you’re apart of it. I’m so glad Ben has you and Lorelei. You two are the most amazing parents to that little girl and I can't even tell you how much joy it brings me.” Tears are running down her face as she looks at them hold each other, creating a most beautiful sight to behold. “You’ve both been through so much. So much pain. But you always find each other again. It always balances out.” Leia steps right before them, looking up in awe as if they were the stars in the night sky. She hovers her hands over each of their cheeks, wishing she could brush away their tears.

“Don’t cry,” she says instead. “This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life...or my death or whatever this is,” she jokes and they laugh, lightening the mood a little.

“Okay,” they both say at once.

“I’ll be watching the whole time today, so you know I’m there. But I wanted to come because...well, he wanted me to ask if it was alright if he did the same.”

Ben sucks in a breath, “Luke?” Rey squeezes his hand.

Leia nods. “He says he’ll stay clear if you would rather him not-”

“No,” Ben says. “No, it’s okay. I mean...it’s never going to be the same, but he knows that. He helped me center myself when…” he looks down to Rey for a moment. “When I wasn’t strong enough to, and I appreciate his help. If he wants to be a part of this, then...I want him to be. He helped us get here.”

Leia watches her son, pride filling her chest. She shakes her head slightly in awe, “You’ve grown up so much, Ben. I’m sorry I wasn’t around as much as I should be to see it for myself.”

Ben doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods, accepting what she’s given him and holding Rey tight against him. But words become clear in his mind. He can hear them clear through Rey’s thoughts and even in her touch. He says them aloud then, knowing they didn't say it enough when she was truly alive.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too,” she says. “I love all three of you more than anything.”

Suddenly, they all hear a voice from outside. “Rey? Where did you go?” It was Rose, probably with Kaydel, looking for her. She had evaded the Falcon when she felt Leia’s signature and Ben’s emotions within the bond.

Leia laughs. “Nobody likes to lose sight of you even for a moment, do they?”

“They just get nervous, I should go before they summon the hounds.”

Leia chuckles, shaking her head. “No, you should both go. You have your whole lives waiting for you and your beautiful daughter that you need to go spoil for me. So, you two are going to go back out there, and you’re going to get married and you’re going to show my granddaughter just how beautiful this galaxy can be when you have people to share it with.”

They’re about to respond when C-3P0 barges in, “Oh, madam Rey, I found you...why you’re with Master Solo! This is highly irregular. Master Solo, have I not expressed the importance of staying separated until the ceremony?”

Leia scoffs, “Fuck, this droid always has his panties in a twist.”

Ben and Rey burst out laughing but 3P0 seems confused. “Have I said something?”

“No, Threepio. Sorry, we’re coming now.” Rey follows after him, turning to get a final look at Leia, but suddenly she’s gone. Ben stares where his mom had been. “Ben?”

He feels her hands wrap around his bicep as she calls his name. He turns to her, tears in both their eyes. He reaches forward, brushing hers away with his thumb before he smiles at her. “Let’s go.”

C-3P0 is trying to brief them on what to do as they hardly listen, too focused on the exchange they just had. “Master Solo, you come forward first. You are to wait at the altar for Madam Rey where she will join you. Now run along, everyone is waiting.”

Ben waits at the altar as he was told.

But the altar was really just at the base of a big rock that Maz was standing on, ready to perform the ceremony at an appropriate height. It was all situated in slightly crooked terrain because the whole island didn't have a vast amount of flat ground. Nobody minds though. Chewie stands beside Ben, Lorelei in his arms as she babbles up at the sky, watching the porgs fly around. Finn, Rose, and Kaydel are standing on the other side of Maz, waiting for Rey.

Everyone else is kind of an organized mess on the grass as they didn’t choose sides but just made sure that Rey had a place to walk up.

And then she does. She’s got flowers in her hands that match the ones in her and Lei’s hair. Her dress blows in the wind. As Ben watches her and the hem picks up a little, he sees how she’s completely barefoot.

Suddenly, the strange footwear choice of Rose makes more sense. She had come out in a long flowy dress with shoes that made her nearly taller than Finn.

But Ben doesn’t take his eyes off Rey as she approaches him. All exterior sounds are silent. Only the humming of the bond is heard by either of them. Ben holds out his hand, eager to feel her touch as she joins him before Maz. Her hand held steady in his. Steady as their gaze locked on one another.

Rey looks over his shoulder to see Lorelei, “Ben she looks beautiful. The flowers they…” Rey realizes they match the ones in her own hair. Quickly, she looks down to the small bouquet in her hands and plucks a few out. She brings them up to Ben’s head, brushing his hair back so the stems of the flowers rest over his ear.

 _Now you match us_ , she tells him through the bond.

 _You know I hate my ears_ , Ben responds with a smirk on his face.

 _And you know I love them_ , she squeezes his hands.

Maz begins the ceremony, speaking of why they are gathered there and why Ben and Rey were to be joined in matrimony.  There were some formalities in the beginning before she got to the part where she addressed them directly, starting with Ben.

“Benjamin Chewbacca Solo,” she starts, hiding a smile and Ben throws a mock glare at her from the corner of his eye. “Do you take this woman to be your wife and to hold, and to protect, and to love until death do you part?”

Rey sees his eyes glaze over with tears, his hands squeezing hers as he breathes out, “I do.” And through the bond she hears him again, the words breaking her heart. _I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you before, sweetheart._

“Rey,” Maz says, excited to know that in a moment, she will have a full name. A name to match her beautiful family. “Do you take this man to be your husband and to hold, and protect, and to love until death do you part?”

Rey looks at him, tears falling down her cheeks, _I love you, Ben. I trust you, always. Please trust yourself as I do._ “I do,” she says.

Ben nods, probably confusing everyone else as to why but Rey smiles at him, her hands reaching to wipe away his tears.

Maz feels them pull towards each other like magnets, wondering if anyone else can feel the force within them or if it was just her and her ability to sense their power. She figures she better get the last word in now because they were headed for each other regardless. “With the power vested in me, and the force apparently, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Okay, you can kiss each other.”

Ben leans down, bending his knees as Rey pushes to her toes, her arms wrapping around his neck as his wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Their lips meet passionately in the middle, caressing the others in a mix of contradictory intensity yet gentleness.

Everyone cheers and applauds. Their union official as they embrace and hold each other so fervently.

They pull away a moment later, slightly out of breath and remembering they had a crowd watching them. Ben presses his forehead to hers.

 _Rey Solo_. _My wife_ , he says to her and only her.

 _Thank you_ , she tells him and his only answer is to lean down again, pressing a brief kiss on her lips and thanking her as well.

She finally had a name. A name that matched her family. A name she was proud of.

Rey Solo.

* * *

They have some time before they all have dinner and celebrate in the tavern that C-3P0 managed to make available for them. Ben realizes he might have been too hard on him as he acts only for what’s best for everyone. And he saved them from getting lectured in a strange language by the Lanai nuns who he made peace with rather swiftly.

The weather is nice. Not too cold, although the wind picks up occasionally. Most of the guests scattered around the island, admiring the beauty and the view from every angle. But Finn and Rose follow Ben, Rey, and Lei as they lay out some blankets on the soft grass and bring out a few toys.

They offered to give them their space, seeing as it was their wedding day and there was plenty of other things they could do, but they told them they were always welcome and wanted them to tag along.

Rey sits down with ease, moving to her side and watching her daughter play. Ben kneels to the blanket as well, moving so he’s close to Rey and they speak softly and watch her adventure atop the thin quilt.

Finn and Rose are there with them. It took Rose a moment to get there, her shoes not exactly making it easy. She nearly tumbles to the ground but catches herself in time to brace herself against the soft blanket. “I’m okay!” she announces.

“Rose, you’re going to hurt yourself, I’m serious,” Finn tells her again, joking finally aside and seriously concerned for her wellbeing.

“I think you’re right. I don’t know how I expected Rey to walk in these things. I guess they’re pretty ridiculous.” She kicks them off and rubs her feet, cursing herself.

The four of them play with the baby for a while. Her laughter carried all throughout the island with the wind, making everyone smile. Eventually, Rey sits up from where she was laying on the blanket to her knees, but as she moves, the wind picks up and the skirts of her dress fly up and she catches them as quick as she can.

“Goodness, I nearly flashed everyone,” she laughs, tucking the fabric under her legs so it doesn’t happen again.

Rose blurts out a laugh. “Nothing we wouldn’t have seen before, Rey.”

“Rose! It was a secret!” Finn reminds her, but he could hardly keep himself from losing it. Laughter sounding through his voice.

Rose covers her mouth with her hands, “Oh kriff, I forgot. How could I have forgotten?”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Rey asks them. “W-why…?” they both look at her nervously before they look over to Ben, guilt all over their faces.

Slowly, Rey turns her head to look at her husband, schooling an unamused expression on her face and finding his own red and nervous looking. “Ben,” she grits through her teeth, understanding starting to dawn on her.

“Hmm?” is all he says, looking studiously at the baby’s face as if he was inspecting her for spots.

She could hardly believe how badly he was pulling it off. His avoidance of her stare exposing him immediately. “Is there something you’d like to tell me?” She knows he won’t hold out for long.

He shakes his head at first but his mouth hangs open, unable to find the words. “I-uh...well I...It’s actually a really funny story,” he forces a chuckle, suddenly very nervous.

“I’d like to hear it. I’m rather curious as to why our friends wouldn't be surprised of what they’d find if they perchance saw me naked. And so help me, if this has something to do with _that_ sketchbook, I’ll kill you.”

Both Finn and Rose erupt with laughter, all their snickering escaping all at once and echoing out loud enough to frighten the porgs sitting around.

Ben’s face heats up and he knows that he’s been exposed, fixing a deadpan stare on the two in total hysterics in the grass. He holds up his free hand in surrender as the other holds onto the baby sitting on his lap. A smile threatens to mark his face as he speaks calmly, “Rey, I can explain-”

“Don’t give me that,” she warns him, cutting him off. “Whatever happened to the ‘It will be our secret sketchbook that I guard with my life’ nonsense you gave me?” Rey stands up. “‘For our eyes only,’ you said. Believed you, I did,” she reaches over pulling Lei from his arms so she can start throwing stuffed animals at him.

He blocks a pink bantha but a purple loth cat hits him in the chest. “Rey, do you really think I would purposely show them that sketchbook? It was an accident. Let me explain, please.” He holds out his hands in peace as he moves closer and Rey seems to allow it.

“You may try,” she tells him, her eyes now fixed on Lei’s face, avoiding his gaze.

“Okay, well, the first night I was on Arkanis, Finn and Rose came to our room and wanted to hear about our life on Lah’mu and I mentioned that I had been drawing a lot and trying to preserve moments on paper since we didn’t have a camera. Now I grabbed the sketchbook before Finn could open it and kept it out of reach,” Ben looks over to Finn with desperate eyes, begging for help.

Finn nods, finally regaining some sense of decorum, “That’s true he did, Rey. He summoned it to his hands and kept it behind his back. He even told us it had his secret farming notes in it,” Finn laughs again.

“But then how-” Rey looks back to Ben and he nods down to the baby in her lap. Rey shakes her head, “No. She didn’t.”

He nods, “Yeah, she did. Just like _Fuzzy Ewoks_ , the pages flew open and they got a fair glance at the contents.” Ben runs a hand past his face, embarrassed but also fairly amused.

Rey’s jaw hands open before she looks back down to the baby. Lorelei was laughing herself, picking up on the happy energy of everyone else.

“You naughty little stinker. Those were private!” Rey can hardly hold back her own laughs now. “That really is quite hilarious actually.” She looks back to their two friends you were a total mess of giggles and tears in the grass, “But it’s still embarrassing, so behave yourselves and never tell anyone,” she warns them, her tone more in jest than threatening.

Ben leans forward, pulling both Rey and Lei back to his embrace. His laughter a deep rumble that makes Rey smile. “I love that sketchbook. All my best work is in there. It would have been worth getting killed over, I think,” he kisses her jaw, the whiskers of his beard tickling her skin.

Rey flicks his arm, a warning he’s being too loud before she turns to smile at him, a knowing look in her eye.

 _You’re not wrong_ , he hears her say rather coyly and it’s his turn to burst out laughing.

* * *

As the suns begin to set, everyone heads into the tavern for dinner where they will likely spend for the rest of the evening. Ben and Rey are guided to the head of the long table, or rather the long trail of small tables pressed together. They talk to everyone around them, laughing and listening to stories and sharing their own.

As everyone gets their food, Ben and Rey first attend to feeding Lei her own meal which makes almost everyone stop eating their own food, transfixed by the little family falling in into their own world. Movements and words so natural between them. The couple doesn’t notice until Rey leans forward, fixing the flower at Ben’s ear before kissing his temple, making everyone sigh in admiration. A collective “Awww,” radiating through the tavern as Ben catches all the eyes on them, a blush rising on his cheeks as well as a smirk tempting his lips.

“Shut up,” he tells everyone and begins to eat his own food, the baby full and happy, sitting on his leg.

Everyone laughs and continues with their meal and conversation. Several people come to the head of the table to congratulate them when they finish eating and soon enough, there’s music playing and tables are being moved to accommodate the space.

Lando is the first one to start dancing and those ready to move and not too full join him. Everyone still at the table watches in amusement.

It gets rather loud and Rey doesn’t realize Chewie is at her side until he’s crouched down beside her, reaching a hand over to hold one of Lei’s tiny ones. Rey puts an arm on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?” she asks him.

He nods, “I’m good today. It’s been so beautiful. I know Malla would have loved it. Poe too.” Rey and Ben nod, agreeing with him. If only they could have been here.

“Thank you for getting everyone here, that was awfully generous of you to be the tribe’s chauffeur,” Rey tells him.

Chewie shrugs. “Anything for the tribe. I love doing stuff like that.”

Lorelei squirms in her father’s lap and Ben helps her to stand on his thigh, holding her hands to support her as she tries to keep her balance.

“That reminds me. Where are we on ‘Operation: Get Baby Walking?’” Chewie asks.

“Her legs are getting so strong. I almost thought she was going to do it before we left home. I’m not even holding that tightly and she’s pretty steady,” Ben tells him.

Chewie looks around, knowing if there were ever a perfect time to practice, it would be now. She had all the encouragement in the galaxy as everyone who loves her would be rooting for her. “Why don’t we try now?” Chewie suggests.

Rey looks to Ben and then to Lei. If she’s honest with herself, she’s terrified of the idea of Lei starting to walk. It means she’s getting bigger and Rey feels like it’s happening too fast. But she knows that Lorelei deserves to learn and explore new things and this was all part of her journey. Ben’s hand brushes her leg, squeezing it in reassurance. She turns back to Chewie, a smile on her face. “Okay. Let’s try it.”

* * *

Everyone was huddled around the table. Rey stood on one side, holding Lei under her arms as she bounced on her legs, amused by all the excitement around her. Ben was on the opposite side of the table, beaming at her and waving to make sure she could see him.

He had removed his jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeves, the tavern getting rather warm with everyone inside. He welcomes it though, rather liking how rosy it makes Lei’s cheeks. “Hi, Lei,” he calls to her and she bounces up and down, making Rey laugh.

“Dada,” she coos and everyone melts further against the edges of the table. They were serving as barriers so no gap offered any danger to the baby’s path. There were an abundance of arms to catch her if she fell.

Rey leans down at Lei’s ear, “Okay, you see Daddy? He’s going to be waiting for you there, just like he does at home. See if you can walk to him, love.”

They’ve practiced a few times in their living room. Things were quiet, and it was just the two of them with her. She never quite got the footwork right, unable to find the right balance. But Rey wonders if now, the presence and anticipation of everyone were going to change things. Lorelei’s energy felt...confident, if a baby could exude such a particular feeling. Rey looks up to Ben and knows he feels it too.

Nodding his head, he holds up his arms, “Come here, Lei. I’ll catch you, I promise.”

Lorelei squeaks and Rey’s heart beats wildly in her chest as she slowly releases her grip on her daughter and watches in awe as she holds her balance where she actually stands.

_Holy shit…_

“Come on, Lei. It’s okay,” Ben speaks softly whereas small cheers and words of encouragement have started building up around them. “It’s okay.”

One tiny foot stumbles forward, her hands outstretched for balance as she sways a little and everyone leans in to grab her. “No, it’s okay. She’s got it,” Rey says and everyone holds their breath, staying back as they watch. “You’ve got it, love,” she whispers to Lei.

“Gah!” she squeaks, her other foot picking up and hovering a moment before it stomps down in front of the other and everyone watches in absolute awe as they see her take her first steps.

Ben has had many happy moments in his life. More than he could ever think himself worthy of. But this is perhaps the happiest one of them all. Everything seems to go in slow motion as he watches Lei put one shaky foot in front of the other. They are surrounded by nearly everyone they know on a small island in the outer regions where he had just married Rey, his wife. Rey who he sees already has tears in her eyes as she watches their baby walk.

Their baby.

She wouldn’t be a baby forever, but as he looks at her now, her eyes focused on him and only him amidst all these people he knows he’ll always have this moment. He will never forget how her arms are reaching for him as she comes closer, eager to be held. He will never forget the smile on her face and the brightness of her signature singing along with theirs.

He will never forget how incandescently happy he is in this moment.

She walks to his end of the table, a little clumsy by the end of the trek and nearly falls, but Ben catches her, scooping her up into his arms and hugging her against him.

The encouraging cheers turn into an uproarious song of victory from everyone as they celebrate the child’s first steps on this momentous day and suddenly, the swell of music begins again as everyone has a new reason to rejoice, amazed at the little girl’s strength. The wookiees roar out her full name to honor her accomplishment and the tavern seems to vibrate with pride.

But Ben remains where he is, silent tears leaking from his eyes as he just keeps hold of Lei, whispering softly to her. “I’m so proud of you. So proud.” Rey joins him, wrapping her arms around them both, her tears running along Ben’s tunic.

“You did so good, Lei,” she tells her, kissing her red cheeks before and doing the same to Ben.

The celebrations were absolutely ecstatic after that. Even the droids were humming and whistling to the music.

* * *

Finn and Rose had started a game with Kaydel and Sadie, getting the attention of many others. Ben and Rey weren’t entirely sure what the rules were, but by the sound of it, they were basing the winner on who was best at coming up with what Finn referred to as “Poe pick-up lines.”

Dameron was notorious for offering a myriad of rather embarrassing pick up lines. Many of which, Kaydel claims, got him slapped by beings from all over the galaxy. And surprisingly, of everyone who participated, Mitaka was crowned the champion, claiming he heard quite a lot of interesting content when he would call ahead to taunt Hux.

Needless to say, everyone got a kick out of it and it seemed like Mitaka had smiled more than he ever had in his life. It must give him courage because he asks Kaydel if she would like to dance and she accepts, Finn and Rose following them to where everyone else was dancing.

Ben and Rey had brought Lei over to where the music was after she walked and sandwiched her between their chests as they slowly waltzed among everyone else’s more intensive steps. Lei loved the music, bouncing and clapping and beautifully confused with what everyone was doing. But soon enough they had grown tired and retired to the sidelines.

Ben and Rey laugh as they watch from where they were recovering on the chairs, Lorelei falling fast in Ben’s arms, exhausted from her tremendous feat.

“It looks like Mitaka is moving on from his crush,” Ben jokes, speaking only to Rey. “But really, I’m glad to see him like this. He probably never thought he'd ever be this happy.”

“You once said that about yourself,” Rey reminds him.

Ben looks at her, “Well, I didn’t think I deserved it.”

“And now?” she asks him.

Ben still feels unworthy most of the time, but he doubts anyone could be worthy of Rey and Lorelei’s love. “I will try to come to terms with the sheer insanity that you married me, and had my baby, and kept me around-“

“And still loves you madly?” Rey finishes for him.

“Yeah, I’m still pretty sure you must have hit your head pretty hard to do all that but I’ll just roll with it at this point. You married me. No returns.”

“Well, good then,” Rey tells him.

Waroo comes over to them as they laugh together. “You two should still be dancing.”

“Lei’s getting tired, we might head in,” Ben yawns.

“This early? On your wedding day?”

“Believe me Waroo, it’s way past our bedtime. We’re exhausted,” Ben pats the wookiee on the back. “Keep everything going though, everyone deserves a party.” Ben looks to the sea of happy and drunken faces that were dancing and cheering with the music. He sees Chewie there too, dancing and looking more carefree than he has in so long. “Especially your father,” Ben turns back to Waroo.

The wookiee smiles, “I know. This was so good for him. For _us_...Thank you. Both of you. This has been one of the tribe’s happier days.”

Ben and Rey both wrap their arms around Waroo. “Thank you, Waroo. Were it not for you and your family, today wouldn't have been possible.” Rey means it in every sense. They had not only organized so much of today and the celebrations and getting everyone here, but they had also helped keep them alive in their most desperate times.

The wookiee smiles and pulls back, leaning down to see Lei’s sleepy face. “Good night, little Lei. Everyone is so proud of you.”

The baby just yawns her eyelashes fluttering. Ben and Rey laugh quietly. “She’s exhausted. Today’s been a big day for all of us.”

“Go along, I’ll keep the crowd going.”

“Good night, Waroo.”

“Goodnight Solo’s,” he says and they both smile, realizing they were finally and officially,  _The Solo’s_.

* * *

Ben and Rey get back to their hut. The music from the tavern drowned out from the distance and the crash of the waves. Lorelei is dead asleep, the walk over letting her drift right off.

Ben lays her down in the crib, pulling off the crown of flowers in her hair, amazed she hadn’t yanked it off or tried to eat them throughout the day. Rey carefully removes her tiny boots, placing them back in the bag. She stands back up, wrapping her arms around Ben’s waist. “I can’t believe she walked, Ben.”

“I know, neither can I. It felt so surreal,” Ben says, situating Captain Kriffie closer to Lei in the crib. It was still her favorite toy out of all the little things she had. Or at least her preferred toy to chew and slobber on.

Ben moves to sit down on the edge of the bed, kicking off his boots. Rey joins him, leaning into his shoulder as she watches the rise and fall of the baby’s back.

Ben runs his hand past Rey’s shoulder before he brings his fingers up to her hair. “Who did your hair?” he asks.

“Kaydel.”

“I thought _I_ was the only one allowed to braid your hair,” he pretends to act hurt and she smiles up at him.

“Well at least you can be the only one to unbraid it,” she tells him as she turns so her back is facing him and her hair awaits his hands.

Ben smiles, reaching up and pulling out all the individual flowers tucked in her hair before he begins to gently unravel her tresses. He goes slowly, his thumbs massaging the base of her skull and pressing kisses against the tips of her ears, making her giggle.

Soon enough, her hair dusts her shoulders, falling in soft waves and Ben leans forward to breathe in the scent there. The smell of home from the shampoo they use. It makes him feel safe.

Rey yawns then, completely exhausted. He’s tired too. He knows what a married couple is supposed to do on their wedding night, but if he’s being honest, he feels slightly paranoid his mother and uncle would...see them. So, he pulls Rey against him, both of them still in their wedding clothes and he falls against the pillows. They had plenty of time to do such things back home when they had more than a curtain to guard their privacy.

Rey giggles sleepily as she hears his reasoning through his thoughts and kisses his chin. “Agreed,” she tells him with her eyes closed, her head already falling for his shoulder. “Love you,” she mumbles.

“Love you,” he breathes out as Rey succumbs to sleep almost instantly.

Ben follows soon after, a drowsy smile on his face as he holds his wife close.

* * *

By the time they wake, it isn’t quite light out yet but it was close enough to morning.

They hear Lei stir in her crib as she gathered her bearings. She coos as she feels her parents awake and then grunts as she tries to stand, making all kinds of incoherent noises to get their attention. Ben and Rey both laugh at her as Rey pulls her out from the crib. Her hair was sticking up where sleep had pushed it to look absolutely wild. “Oh, would you look at her hair, she’s-” Rey looks up from the baby to see Ben and halting her words instantly. Her eyes getting a better look at him from the early morning light coming through the doorway. His hair is even messier than Lei’s and she snorts a laugh as she reaches out, helping him to tame it.

* * *

After they changed Lei and gave her a little dry cereal, they make their way outside. The suns have yet to rise and everyone else seems to be asleep still. Or perhaps, passed out is the correct term.

So, Ben and Rey take the time to wander around, wondering if Lei would practice walking anymore.

Rey’s feet were still bare from the day before and her wedding dress blew in the wind, but she wasn’t as strict with the blow of her skirts now that it was just the three of them. Ben catches sight of her upper thighs, catching sight of the scar that had healed completely from a few months ago. He is reminded that despite how perfect this has been, they've come so close to losing all of it. It helps it cherish it that much more. To know they defeated the odds together.

They walk down to the shore, their toes buried in the soft sands which makes Lei shriek with excitement at the new and strange feeling.

As they walk along the beach, each of them holds her hand and they slowly walk along the shore. Ben is hunched over, trying to get as close to her height as he can. The unsteady and unpredictable terrain means they keep hold of her but they watch anyway in absolute awe as she focuses on the steps and brings one foot in front of the other. When she stumbles a little, Rey scoops her into her arms and spins her around, making her laugh. Ben watches fondly as Rey twirls her around, dancing in the sand. He’s about to join them when he sees someone in the distance, watching them from the cliffs above.

_Luke._

Ben doesn't feel afraid or mad or anything he might have expected to be before all of this happened. Instead, he offers the old man a kind smile, nodding slightly in acknowledgment as he turns again to join his family.

As the suns rise, they play on the sand, welcoming the new day with smiles and full hearts. Any fear and lingering doubt in their minds are chased away as they watch their daughter’s eyes gleam in the sunlight.

Ben thinks if he had to live in a moment forever, it would be this one.

* * *

Luke watches as the suns rise and surround the island in almost as much light as the small family he was positively mesmerized by. Ben had seen him and not turned him away but smiled, offering a silent acceptance of him.

Ben was a stark contrast to the man he had seen nearly ripped apart on the floor of a mess hall just a few months ago. The man who thought he had lost his family, questioning himself and if the dark could protect them in a way he could not.

But he watches them now, knowing the belonging they found and feared they lost was safe and sound. Their laughter echoing throughout all of Ach-To.

Ben and Rey possessed a strength Luke had never thought possible. The balance they ignite and the bond they share made him realize they had truly found the belonging so many spend their life searching for and so few actually find.

And the power within their daughter is incredible. Similar to the power he felt in Ben when he was a baby, but somehow even more perceptive. Where he feared it in Ben’s childhood, he knows that Ben and Rey will teach her well. They taught Luke more than he ever could have taught them at this point.

Lorelei was in good hands.

Luke had never seen his nephew smile so much. It fills him with guilt as he knows Ben’s childhood hardly allowed him to smile much, feeling responsible for his torment.

He should have helped him. It is his biggest regret.

Luke doubted Ben Solo and caused him pain. But if there’s anything Luke believes in now, it was the three Solo’s dancing in the sand in the early morning glow, filled only with love and hope as they look to the future.

And much like Lorelei’s name, they acknowledge the past they’ve come from as they embrace new things. They know what they’ve been through will help them cherish the things they have now. They know a bright future awaits them and nothing would stop them from showing their daughter just how beautiful this galaxy could be.

And the path was unclear, like everything in life. Not everything was easy. But Ben and Rey know that, and they’ll take it as it comes.

Like always, they’ll find a way.

“The Solo’s,” Luke chuckles to himself, “always find a way.”

* * *

 

The suns slowly rise in the sky and the new day begins, filled with happy laughter from a happy family.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you, so much everybody! I really hope that wasn't disappointing but I apologize sincerely if it was. To me, I think it was a satisfying end but if you want to interpret something else, be my guest. Whatever works for you and what you want for this little family is up to you. I only say so because sometimes epilogue chapters rub me the wrong way and I don't want to force you into sharing my vision here. If you want to make a mental fanfiction of a fanfiction then go ahead (I do it all the time, lol).
> 
> I like to imagine this chapter composed to 'Victory Celebration' from the end of Return of the Jedi because I think that besides 'Across the Stars', that might be my favorite piece from Mr. John Williams. It's the kind of music everyone was dancing to in the tavern (or at least in my head, you know). I'll link it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II04E2GEJG8) in case you need a reminder!
> 
> I had a certain inspiration for this chapter since the beginning. I don't know if anyone has seen it, and at this point, you're all probably tired of hearing me reference stupid movies in this fic but just one more, I promise. I love the ending scene from 'True Romance' where Clarence and Alabama escape to (spoilers) Mexico and it shows them a few years later on a beach. Alabama is watching Clarence and their son play in the water before she joins them and they walk along the shore as it ends on the fucking sunset and mmmm...poetic cinema. I gave them a binary sunrise here because they're all about looking to the new day. Plus, they already watched sunsets on Lah'mu, hehe. IMPORTANT!! (J.J. please give me something like that I beg of thee!!)  
> Watch it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0TXVe0Fwdk) if ya please!! Or watch the movie sometime, it's a gem.
> 
> Okay, but seriously, I'm going to miss posting this story. I know it was a pretty tragic jumble most of the time but to those that stuck with me, I appreciate it so much. This was the first multi-chapter fic I've ever written and I was so nervous it was going to flop really bad. I've never written anything remotely this long and I have no clue how it ended up to be the size of a hefty novel or how I managed to pass my classes while writing this but I'm really glad I did it. 
> 
> I love writing fanfiction and I have a handful of ideas that I'd love to write, but I might need to take a break from writing for a bit. I just really needed to write this final chapter before I went on my way to reorganizing my life.
> 
> Seriously, I mean it, you are all amazing! Even if you just lurked the whole time, I love you and thank you for reading! To everyone that commented, you need to know that it was like oxygen and it made me smile like an idiot! Thank you all for your support and the love for this story.
> 
> This is the year of the Reylos! I can feel it in my bones! EPIX (still no title, wtf?) will likely be the death of me so at least I leave behind this utterly stupid story to remember me by. 
> 
> <3<3<3!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I made a playlist for "Lorelei" on my Spotify. It's a total mess but has an accumulation of songs that I think apply to this story from various characters POV's. I also just like listening to the songs while I'm writing so I'll probably keep adding to it. 
> 
> You can click [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/pizzamogwai/playlist/7kdQjuGGWEKwUxezXvob6w?si=dIR4l4N0StiavfY3eS82sw) to get there. My username on spotify is pizzamogwai and the playlist is just called "Lorelei" if you want to get there the long way.
> 
> Thanks for being cool and reading my stupid story!


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